Tuesday, March 5, 2013

You Truly Are dVerse And A Whole Lot Worse!

 Have to wait and see who this could be!

So for some fun I thought I would give this a run. A nut I saw today under my sun and he was so dVerse, he really did make the clerk curse. I was swearing in my head too. I mean WTF had to come due.

Do you have any of those?
Pause to strike a thinking pose.
You know, thingys?
His hands flutter showing his ringys.

I am here to help you today,
Just look at our display.
I'm sure you will find what you want.
Just give it a quick jaunt.

Throws the paper back.
You know, I want a thingy for my shack.
That do flicky that was on sale.
This guy's brain must have hit the third rail.

Can you be more descriptive mister?
His eyes got in a big twister.
Actually both of them were,
With their hairy eyebrow fur.

Do I look like a mister, sonny?
The exchange was getting rather funny.
I just came to shop for that thingy magiggy you advertised the other day.
By other day, I bet he means all the way back to last May.

Sir, if you tell me the product's name,
I will gladly get you one of the same.
Eyebrows scrunch up again,
He becomes madder than an old wet hen.

Do I look like a sir to you?
I need a clerk who has a clue,
Where is your manager anyway?
You are wasting away my day.

Manager trots up a few minutes later,
Clerk pulls a see you later alligator.
He has a big smile,
That could run a mile.

And how can I help you?
I will apologize for my crew,
And be sure to get you what you need.
Of course he's all about the greed.

I need that thingy magigy you had on sale.
Manager looks like he just hit the third rail.
You mean this or this?
Pointing to the flyer one can't miss.

No, the do hicky you had the other day.
It was right here on display.
That is what I want, now.
Manager also curls up an eye brow.

Sir, if you would say the name of the product to me,
I could have you on your way for afternoon tea.
Do I look like a sir to you?
You people have no clue.

Stomp, stomp, stomp.
And so ends the do hicky thingy magiggy romp.
Some laughter burst out after he was gone,
Which I can say I could not help but join in on.

Of course the conversation did not rhyme, that is my interpretation of such a fun time. But that is the words he used to describe his want. How can one not go out and taunt? Maybe he wants some bass? I would have gave him some gas from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

123 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Joint-first again!
      Not without pain!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. Yeah just squeaked in
      For the win

      Delete
    3. Hank
      Isn't it a dirty shame
      Someone always wants your fame
      All those racers on the run
      To storm your castle, one by one

      Delete
    4. LOL that was good
      Close his draw bridge he should

      Delete
    5. Ha Ha Hope he's got gators in his moat
      So they can't cross it with a boat

      Delete
    6. haha piranas will do
      Harder to spot too

      Delete
    7. Nothing's there in the moat Manzanita!
      Nor are there pirannas
      Just like to maintain the #1
      As long as I can
      It's lots of fun

      Hank

      Delete
    8. He's lulling you in a false sense of security
      So you'll get snapped and he can remain #1 at my sea haha

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Damn damn damn, I need that thingy magiggy to make me faster

      Delete
    2. Well you were on time
      Just a few seconds off with your chime

      Delete
    3. John,
      No wonder, you are wearing your penny loafers....Gotta get on the race'n shoes. We'll be there with the pom pom's again tomorrow.

      Delete
    4. One day he will win
      As all eventually do, who try, at my bin
      Plus in a few weeks time
      Won't be hard to get a first chime

      Delete
  3. Just everything under the sun
    The way they spin to make a sale
    Upon inquiry they plead innocence
    You've been very late they wailed
    90% discount 'until stocks last'
    Nothing for sale just 'utterances'
    Merely some sweet talking bluff
    Manager's presence makes no difference

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah no difference at all
      No matter the writing on the wall
      So called sale or not
      His temper sure got hot

      Delete
  4. An irritating gnat
    appeared at your mat,
    wanting this thing or that
    a doohicky thing a magigy
    eyebrows wiggling at Pat.

    Lie to him I say
    and make him go away
    "it's out of stock"
    "it's made no more"
    "we don't carry that in our store"

    Bet he'll be back
    to give you flack
    but sir him not
    or he'll not stop.

    Like Flappy he'll
    be at your sea
    to drive you mad
    and that would be bad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bah, if he came here
      I'd give him my rear
      And not go near
      No matter his peer
      And if he did not go away
      I'd find another work bay
      Between his and Flappy's crap
      I'd be ready to ring the neck of some chap

      Delete
  5. man i remember days working retail...and moments of hell when someone wanted something and no matter what you did they would get madder or more adamant and dammit we laughed hard after...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Figures you worked there too
      Having 50,000 jobs at your zoo haha
      Yep, they'd sure get pissed off
      Think all they wanted to do is scoff

      Delete
  6. Been there done that. I worked as a clerk years ago. One day a customer came in the store. Another clerk and I were pricing some items when the customer started whistling like she was calling a dog and said here clerky, clerky, clerky. The other clerk and I looked at each other and vacated the area. No way were we going to wait on that Bit@#

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha should have threw her a bone
      Or whacked her with a fun

      Delete
  7. Working retail is a hard life
    lots of people causing strife!
    You captured the scene well
    a small taste of retail hell.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah been there a while back
      Had my fair share of flack
      As the came through the door
      Glad I'm out of that work shore

      Delete
  8. A thingy magiggy, a do hicky, doesn't like to be called sir. Sounds to me like the customer wanted a vibrator. Where do you find those on sale?????

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha maybe that is way they could not say the word
      And instead flipped the bird

      Delete
  9. the thingy majick with the thingy mabob...i am quiet aware of that one!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe you could help him out
      So he does not shout

      Delete
  10. The retail work is hard and here many people use the same words. Poor guys is a hard work!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah hard thing to do
      As many that come through the door have a loose screw

      Delete
  11. The customer isn't always right
    Sometimes he just wants to fight
    Been there, done that in retail
    It was a horrid little tale
    Take a break, rhyme at your bay
    Don't let the fool ruin your day :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Loredana
      A great little rhyme and words to live by.

      Delete
    2. With that i will agree
      Want to kick some in the knee
      Or maybe a little higher
      Like to stuff some in the dryer

      Delete
    3. Glad I don't work in a store
      I could not take it anymore
      But all jobs have some stress
      Dealing with mess after mess
      Let's win the lottery some day
      And be beach bums at our bay
      Or at least take a vacation
      And get better compensation!

      Delete
    4. Works for me
      Send the winning numbers to my sea
      Then I'll give you a big cut
      Could live on the beach in a little hut
      And if that did bore
      We'd have plenty of dough to explore

      Delete
  12. With some shoppers,I've been observant
    They treat clerks just like a servant
    I have a coupon that ran last year
    I'd like to use it, what do I hear?
    The coupon says I get half off
    On this lawnmower with a scoff
    That special item is no more
    We do not carry in this store.
    You cannot advertise for false
    I'll sue he adds with a little waltz
    I watched him leave through the big door
    The whole store cheered, come back no more

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah they think
      That because they hit the brink
      All will go their way
      And then kick up a big display
      And stomp out
      With a little two year old type pout
      Thinking it will matter at all
      When the clerks are glad they left the mall

      Delete
  13. lol Does being called "sir" mean something different to you? My father was career Navy and we grew up calling adults all "sir" and "ma'am". Worked fine until I joined the Army. The joke there was it was an insult to call sergeants "sir" or "ma'am" because they knew who their fathers were. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess to him it did
      As he sure flipped his lid
      Not sure why
      Probably just wanted to give another cry

      Delete
  14. Wow this reminds me of my days working in retail
    Customers would always go off the rails
    But they say the customer is always right
    I'll laugh at that til it's out of sight

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah that is a load
      Better off believing a toad
      As they aren't right
      Most any night

      Delete
    2. By the way now following you on Twitter

      Delete
    3. Thanks for the follow there too
      Will surely follow back you
      Also ignore any DM that may come
      From my automatice little rhyming bum lol

      Delete
  15. Woah! This one's funny. :D
    xesex82.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  16. I've seen things like that before "Hey can you help me find that thing that does that stuff"....Seriously I got asked that one time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds like they wanted their mind read
      Or needed to be fed

      Delete
  17. Just smile, smile and smile some more. Not much else you can do when those type of folks knock on your door. Speaking of smiling, this blog has been nominated for the Very Inspiring Blog Award: http://mjjoachim.blogspot.com/2013/03/very-inspiring-blogger-award-round-1.html Best of the day to you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah about all you can do
      As you fight the urge to kick em in the gazoo haha
      And will surely have a look
      Glad I can inspire at my nook

      Delete
  18. You know all these characters you have been using, are all part of your new book, right?

    Goodness, I don't blame the manager, for its hard to please
    a customer who can't even say the name of the product. Still I believe helping them find the closest to what they need, might be a win-win situation ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that could be a win win
      Even if it is hard a ones bin
      And hmmmm you may be write
      On April 2nd you will truly see the light

      Delete
  19. that's why I don't think I could work in a store, you would have to deal with people like this all galore :)

    (seriously, fast food and retail, two hard jobs with low wages, I do admire those that can work in those fields)

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they just keep on coming
      With their thingy humming
      Is tough work
      As many can be a jerk

      Delete
  20. Yep, customer service has become an oxymoron

    ReplyDelete
  21. Alas, I'm afraid your customers find
    The great Pat cannot read their mind.
    But, ya know, can it be?
    The anger rose because he was a ... she?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So they were giving lip
      Because they were snip snip?

      Delete
  22. Working in a store I've had to see these kind of customers before. It's quite funny but can get annoying, it's like some people who are customers can't really grasp how things work and clutch at straws and it can be infuriating. Obviously the cashier is awesome at fault when it comes to it but great rhymes as usual at your vault.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep they are all around
      Many are found
      Here at my shore
      And when I used to work in a store

      Delete
  23. Probably those types of customers are in and out fast, and only come once. The pot of gold at the end of that rainbow. ;)


    I found the info on what keywords people use to get to my site, thanks for the FYI. Nothing terrible so far, knock on wood. I won't be blogging about hairbrushes or using the word A%# on my site though, just as a precaution, hehehe Oh my...I just put them both in one sentence on your blog. I shouldn't laugh but it's too late. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah one way too look at it
      Glad you found the seach engine pit
      I hope the weird doesn't swell
      LOL now you'll bring them back ringing such a bell

      Delete
  24. Ha! Too funny! Yeah, those whatchamecallits seriously need to be more specific about those thingymegiggies!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah all those thingys
      Need a bit less ringys

      Delete
  25. That's better than Who's on First!
    And I think that's how my wife refers to every part on a computer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah going all who's on first
      And what's on second with a burst
      Would surely annoy
      I take it computers bring her no joy

      Delete
  26. What a dick
    he made me sick
    finish him with a kick!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha sounds like a plan
      Of that I am a fan

      Delete
  27. orlin N cassie

    did sum one men shun bass....????

    LUNCH BRAKE !!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha sounds grand
      Chow down on bass at your land

      Delete
  28. That hottie at the top of the page must be me! You know I have two eyes but you feel compelled to only show the one. Admit it, it's me, isn't it?? Isn't it??

    Thank you, Pat (cause I know it wasn't the wretched cat since I threw him in the tub yesterday) for the display at your place. Muchly appreciated! My first piece gets published - so exciting and it's for charity!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pfft you can dream
      That she is you at my stream
      All you get is a one eye
      No matter how much you cry haha

      No problem at all
      Shown at my hall
      That cat wanted to show it in his litterbox though
      After your bathtub show

      Delete
    2. oh, come one Elsie! Take a closer look.
      I bet you can figure out who that is at this nook!

      Delete
    3. She seems to have a halo, so I'm guessing she's Grace.

      Delete
    4. There's another detail, too!
      Like a heaven-ly crew.

      Delete
    5. LOL Betsy is a cheater as she knows
      But yeah easy to guess with the clothes

      Delete
    6. can't believe they did not see.
      that one was really easy!

      Delete
    7. Yeah it was kind of obvious I suppose
      With a halo that glows

      Delete
  29. oh the vagueness would've drove me crazy. Thing-a-ma-bobs, do-hicky's, thing a ma jigs, oi ve, The eyebrows was a great touch and I love the line, "do I look like a sir," that was classic. I think we've all been on both sides of this one at one point or another, which is what makes this tale truly d'verse and relatable, not like some cheap two dollar curse, but like world in which we all rehearse. Nicely done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah think many have been there
      Each side at their lair
      But still many have more brains too
      Saying at least more than thingy at their zoo haha

      Delete
  30. Ha...customer service...retail is a challenge :)

    ReplyDelete
  31. A nut under your sun?
    Why that's a funny one.
    MY nuts, by chance
    are under my pants.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. good that they are in his pants?

      Yes, I do agree...
      and not outside for all to see.
      lol....

      Delete
    2. Welcome to the Cats mat Whisk. It's a fun world over here and the comments are just as entertaining as the blog.

      Delete
    3. But then they get all white
      From being out of sight
      With them on display
      They no longer match any grey
      Of course watch where you show
      Or do not pass go
      And go directly to jail
      Also don't touch the third rail

      Delete
    4. Thanks, Anne. I've never been here before but is sure does look like fun.

      HowdyPat. So nice to meet you.

      Betsy: Yes, best keep those boys covered and safe.

      Delete
    5. Fun is had at my pad
      As all come whether good or bad
      Nice to meet you too
      And agreeing with Betsy, pfft that won't due haha

      Delete
    6. won't do, silly cat.
      (ah, you need me, your editor)

      Delete
    7. lol have 10 things going at once
      So I have the grammar of a dunce lol

      Delete
  32. They shine brilliant . . . and they are everywhere.

    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  33. 30 years of retail woes,
    gives ample time to propose,
    a fair smile upon visage forthwith
    to send the customer over the cliff!

    Sorry that feels so just so right!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now with that I agree
      Pitch the whole damn lot of them like lemmings into the sea

      Delete
  34. I so wish I had your energy
    would let me do more than just scratch fleas
    talk in rhyme is nothing new
    I would hate to run into rhyming you
    somewhere in the every day
    where your rhyming ass could spin and slay
    every word that did not match
    say again, a bass the catch?
    and say good bye to sweet old winter
    this cat just smashed her final printer!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have fleas?
      Need to put some stuff on your knees
      That will kill the suckers
      Then you'll have the energy of a umm trucker
      And yeah can do it in real life as well
      But it does cause hell
      And only 16 days or so
      Then off the smashing will go

      Delete
  35. Ha, just great, a doohickey is always to the left. No a little lower. Yes right there. Sorry that's a thingy.. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn and what about the magiggy
      Is it next to Miss Piggy

      Delete
  36. Do I look like a Ma'am?
    Who do you think I am?
    I just want to buy the doo-hicky!
    The one you advertised explicitly!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But all we have today
      Is the thingy maggigy on display
      Will you settle for that
      Will look good by your door mat

      Delete
  37. Oh, yes, the doohickey with the thingy that goes thisaway...heard this conversation before..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sadly it isn't rare
      Drives one right to swear

      Delete
  38. Well take me to the nook, as I wish to purchase this book..as you sure got me hooked like a fish on a dish..

    Really enjoy your blog..brings a big smile to this day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't look like that
      You may end up tasty to the cat haha
      He goes for fish fast
      Glad it is a fun blast

      Delete
  39. Your poem is wonderful, I'll grant you that
    but the comments rock the house like The Cat In The Hat :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that they do
      Lots of fun below each post comes due

      Delete
  40. You just brought back ugly memories of my stint in retail customer service. This scenario happens almost daily. It's exhausting!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep it is quite the pain
      As they always seem to line up in your lane

      Delete
  41. The mom here worked in a framing shop when younger & she couldn't believe the questions people would ask! Her favorite was someone asking if sewing machine needles came in standard sizes. Talk about WTF!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL geez sounds like someone wanted to get stabby
      Goes to show humans aren't as smart as a tabby

      Delete
  42. this is a customer announcement: can Pat please report to the main orifice for a refund . . . are those things made of fur?
    or is it a Caterpillar race on this guys hairy-eyed face . . . bushy brows, oh my! and holy cows (i mean cats!:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha if it is a big refund I will come
      Make pat split it with my rhyming bum

      Delete
  43. ...customer is always right, they say, and we do respect that... but not in all circumstances especially when the gesture turns out to be irritating and rude already... ha... i rather quit the job kickin' those fat ass customers than be treated badly... smiles...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep sure sounds like a great plan
      Kicking them in the rear I am a fan

      Delete
  44. haha- this sounds like all my friends who are recently engaged: "HER hands flutter showing HER ringys."

    You certainly made this experience a bit better with all the rhyming :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well she just wants to show off the rings
      And all kinds of other things

      Delete
  45. And this is why I've been doing more of my shopping online. :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good choice
      One in which you should rejoice

      Delete
  46. I'll know what it is when I see it... but I haven't got long... why don't you have one on display...?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope go to another store
      They will have thingys galore

      Delete
  47. You are so funny and creative. Made me laugh. Appreciate the smile and your talent.

    ReplyDelete