Tuesday, April 30, 2013

You May Cringe At My dVerse Zombie Binge!

So for the final post for the a to z coast, what else could I do but go all zombie at my zoo. This post may be a bit dVerse and many may even curse. For it features a return or two. One you all know is super eww.

Most zombies aren't a hero,
They'd rather make you zero.
As in eat you until you weigh nothing at all.
But Zombie Man is the hero on call.

Like my little plug?
I did it for you at my rug.
So in your blogroll,
None of the pics below would take a stroll.

Here we have zombie tongue.
Maybe even a bit of lung.
I bet she can lick like a dog.
Must flap a ton if she goes for a jog.

Who wouldn't love zombie hair?
Never have to get it cut again at your lair.
Of course if it falls out.
"Hey baldy!" many may shout.

Zombie belly button.
You sure are a glutton.
For if they forget to zipper,
You can tell if they went chipper.

Zombie teeth and ribs,
Did I hear you shout dibs?
Does sound like a yummy dish.
But the cat would rather eat fish.

Zombie cheek,
With a bit of face leak.
Might make a fine ketchup mascot.
I'm sure he'd sell a whole lot.

Zombie arm,
Is cause for alarm.
Who wants fish looking scales?
Maybe zombie whales?

Zombie chow!
They feast on you like a cow.
Don't you want to join in?
Could be a delightful din din.

And last but not least,
Guaranteed to ruin any feast.
It's the return of zombie feet!
You'll thank me for not letting you chow down on that treat.

I hope you enjoyed the dVerse zombie show and now you are in the zombie know. Thankfully Zombie Man covers himself up and doesn't sip human from his cup. I bet you will forgo lunch. Your waist will thank me a bunch. Now I am done my zombie part class. So delightful to gross some people out with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, April 29, 2013

A Yex Of A Hex!

Did you think I would use Yonkers to drive you bonkers? The cat doesn't what to get lost there, I'm sure what I just did a few are aware. Anyway, I will yex for my Y. Actually only one of the things it implies is done by this guy. Err umm cat, but you knew that.

Have you yexed today?
I bet you have at you bay.
At least in one way,
I hope not in one of the meanings at play.

You yexed just there.
My what a nice breakfast you had at your lair.
What is that I smell?
I beat it went down swell.

Or maybe not,
You are yexing a lot.
You sound like a goose,
Or a dying moose.

Boy, I hate yexing like that.
Can hurt too as you jiggle some fat.
Could be hours before you are yexed out.
No matter if you swear and shout.

That yexing is finally done,
Such yexing is no fun.
Did you just yex on me?
I will yex back at thee.

But I have good aim.
I'll yex my germs on you all the same.
And yex right in your eye.
It will look like you are passing a cry.

When really you'll cry another way,
For the yex I sent into the fray.
But with that yex you'll yex some more.
Did you know you yex when you talk and snore?

Did you know you snore?
Thankfully we are passed that at my shore,
No need for any wild calls,
Gracing my halls.

Have you had it with the yexing yet?
The mind of a few went to the gutter I bet.
 (Right here the power went out as I wrote,
I guess the hex of the yex got a vote.)

But you shall not stay,
Now in the gutter and play.
Unless you go all urban at your sea,
Then yex becomes kinky.

For the Middle English yexing I will spit,
Yexing I may hiccup a bit.
Yexing may also bring a belch to light,
Yex away into that dark night.

Now you should know what yexing is at you show. What, you are still confused? Well belch, spit and hiccup and you may feel less abused. For that is what yexing is class. Now you know a new word thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Damn Blue Guy Can Surely Tell A Lie!

So dVerse wants the cat to go on a trip, pfft I don't give a tip. Yes, I am a mean cat. But they threw my litterbox gift back the last time I tipped at my mat. That was just rude of that waiter dude. Anyway, back to a trip. I figured instead I'd give the blue guy lip.

A trip that never was,
That got lots of buzz.
As the blue guy said,
Off the top of his spiky haired head,

To Bora Bora we all would go.
Whether friend or foe.
Even the cat could go with Pat.
No need for litter with that.

So all was in place,
With our Bora Bora race.
Then he lied,
Pretending he tried.

No nice golden sand,
Or little island band.
No water oh so blue,
That it looks brand new.

No nice beach,
With nice sights in reach.
Where you could wait for them to get drunk,
Not knowing until morning how low they sunk.

No shark fishing for the cat.
Do they even have that?
Could surely fill my belly,
Bet sharks aren't as smelly.

No getting waited on night and day.
I suppose you can get that at your own bay.
But if you want a looker,
May have to pay a hooker.

No water bungalow fun
For each and every one.
Where you could walk out,
And have a shower easily as you splash about.

Or would that be a bath?
Just don't go there or you'd suffer wrath.
I suppose the fish go though,
So you'd be swimming in their crap to and fro.

Don't you just like the images I give?
Should I live and let live?
Pffft to that,
It will never be let go of by the cat.

So there you go, just to let the blue guy know, the cat will never let it go here at his show. Maybe one day the cat will get payback though and give the blue guy a trip at his show. It will be all free and he could visit Greenland with glee. Finding out it isn't really green at all while the cat runs down his non Bora Bora like hall. Instead I have to roll in cold grass with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

I Guess Women Don't Count Or At Least X Amount!

The cat noticed the gender in the name as the idea for X came. I mean with the new X-men movie being done. For X I have to have an X-men run. I guess X-women is too long to use. So they gender abuse. Just had to point that out, now let's see how many I can recall and give a shout.

Wolverine is tops,
Being Canadian he shows up those RCMP cops.
Next comes Beast,
Who can give a quote feast.

Then Cyclops the boy scout.
Hunting Mr. Sinister, no doubt.
Trying to avoid an Apocalypse from coming due,
Along with Cable and his time traveling crew.

Bishop may join in,
Allowing them to Forge a win.
Or he may go Rogue on them all,
Watching Kitty phase through a wall.

That would be a Gambit,
As Colossus could have a fit.
Proving what a Juggernaut he can be.
Unlike Toad who is just creepy.

A Storm could surely arise,
From a Jubilee full of lies.
With the Pheonix giving cries,
Fighting Magneto may be more wise.

Or maybe hunting a Sabertooth,
While avoiding the Iceman booth.
Watching the sky for an Arch Angel too,
Unless a Nightcrawler is after you.

Then scream like a Banshee and run.
Psylocke may think you're fun.
That would be a Longshot.
Just blame Morph for the whole lot.

Mystique you could be as well.
Emma Frost may send you to hell.
Callisto could beat you with a stick.
Miss Marvel could hit you like a brick.

Quicksilver you will have to be,
Or a Deadpool may form around thee.
Leaving you Omega Red,
After the Silver Samuria chopped off your head.

But he is a Nimrod.
So just stare at Dazzler's bod.
Hopefully Multiple Man won't take offense.
Havok could ensue if he is dense.

Wasn't I Uncanny today?
Of course in an Evolution type way.
Looking at me like a mutant are you?
Maybe an Xavier brain wipe is due.

There we go, went all geek at my show. Pat made the cat do that. Many might know two at my mat. But it had to be done. Besides Xena is dead under her sun.Oops, was that a spoiler for you? Damn, the things I do at my zoo. This was X-men First Class from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Whoopdi Friggin Doo Does Something Brand New!

So for W the cat knew there was nothing he could do but take a break at his zoo. But Robbie Raisin will pick up the slack, as he goes once more on the Whoopdi Friggin Doo attack.


Welcome to another edition of Whoopdi Friggin Doo, I'm your host Robbie Raisin and Camera Joe is here too. But this isn't just any edition of Whoopdi Friggin Doo. Oh no! For we are going to go to all of you. Whoopdi Friggin Doo does not want to hog all the glory. So we will do tons of W's, warning things may get gory.

Now Hank, what comes to mind when I mention the word, Wig? Don't be afriad to think big.

90% discount 'until stocks last'

Wow, Hank really knows where to shop for wigs. He must like getting wiggy with it on some rigs. And what about you Anne? Of Wiggle are you a fan?

a doohicky thing a magigy

I think Anne is a fan of something on a man. So Candida Journey does Wimp bring forth any festering thoughts of a past tourney?

she was calling a dog and said here clerky, clerky, clerky

I guess so. Out of the dog house we will go. So Brian what comes to mind when I mentuion Workout? There is no need to shout.

did you know i can pick my nose with my tongue, yeah its that long, must be kin to a cow...or gene simmons

Hmmmm maybe there is a need to shout. I mean you can pick boogers with your tongue and work your inner Gene Simmons out. Mary do you like the word Wart? Come now, don't be afriad to address the court.

They always say good things come in small packages.

I did not need to know you like warts down there. Damn, must be quite the affair. Keepin it Real what comes to mind when I mention Wheel?

Sounds to me like the customer wanted a vibrator

Well someone has her head in the gutter. But Gloria won't stutter. What comes to mind when I mention Wand? To infinity and beyond?

You love bury me sigh!"

Shhh don't give our secrets away on live TV. That was supposed to stay between you and me. Manzanita what comes to mind when I mention Wild? Anything about a child?

I have a coupon that ran last year

Wow, you really live on the wild side. Those out of date coupons can buy a real wild ride. Optimistic Existentialist is hard to say. What comes to mind when I say Way?

I know many people who are less desirable than critters

My what bad habits you share. Just keep it confined to your lair. Adam have you come up with something for Worm? No need to squirm.

Hey can you help me find that thing that does that stuff

Someone has been drinking the worm I'd say. Hope you had a very nice day. Grace are you ready? What comes to mind when I say Wick? Keep steady.

its hard to please a customer

Wow, now that is a can of worms too. I think that is enough out of you. That corgi, have you thought about Wade yet? Come now, don't fret.

ick with the cockroaches, that just doesn't seem fair

Why must we always talk about fetishes today? This is a pg rated show, okay. Brian the cat how about Wit, Wipe and Wire at your mat?

Dang, those were all interesting and I had not heard any of those!

Hmph, just full of infomation aren't you? Waffles what come to mind, well when we mention your name, if you'd be so kind.

clutch at straws and it can be infuriating

Look a new olympic sport. Straw clutching doesn't even need a court. Mail4Rosey what do you think when I say Whip? Feel free to do a flip.

I won't be blogging about hairbrushes or using the word A%# on my site

I said whip not a hairbrush or an A with signs. I should start charging fines. Al be a pal and say what Whip means unlike that Rosey gal.

MY nuts, by chance
are under my pants.

I never said you had to whip anything out. You officially have no Whoopdi Friggin Doo clout. Betsy do you know? With your crafts you must be able to give Whip a go.

I just want to buy the doo-hicky

At least you are honest I suppose. Watch the kick back to your nose. Theresa can you top Betsy at all, with a whip call?

This scenario happens almost daily. It's exhausting!

Wow that too is quite a share, must be plenty of bruises at your lair. Oui Oui with whip can you impress me?

was someone asking if sewing machine needles came in standard sizes

Ummm no! My this is sinking to a new low. Miss Caitlin, being  a miss and all you must have some clue? Care to share your Whip thoughts with Whoopdi Friggin Doo?

HER hands flutter showing HER

Let me stop you right there, this isn't some playboy affair. Sigh no one can define whip. Lets see if DWei can give it a trip.

And this is why I've been doing more of my shopping online

Keep it hidden away, at least you are smart at your bay. M.J. Joachim you are my last hope, what is a whip like a rope?

Bet your thumb could cause a lot of damage too

Fetishes abound, guess I will ask Sophie the hound.

send the customer over the cliff

That sounds like a plan, better than any man. If they whip anything out, don't pout or shout, just toss them over a cliff. Then no more fetishes to whiff.

I know viewers our show was strange today. So many fetishes revealed as each had their say. But you never know what will come into your view with each new edition of Whoopdi Friggin Doo. Now I bid adieu, as I think I need a bath after talking to this crew.


Wow you scared Robbie Raisin away, great job I say. Although some things the cat didn't need to know. But hey, it was a fun Whoopdi Friggin Doo show. Have fun whipping in mass, just stay away from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

A Little Violent Rant At My Plant!

So for V the cat could get all dirty and maybe a bit flirty. But that is just way to easy for the cat. So it is time for another rant at my mat. One that is as dumb as can be but is still believed and pushed by many of the so called higher ups in society.

Violence is all around.
Why is it found?
Wow, things are getting dire.
How do we put out this fire?

We need to secure a vote.
So lets have a study wrote,
Using baseless crap,
Knowing the silly masses will fall into our trap.

Forget World War 1 and 2.
Those are too far back to view.
Forget the dark ages.
Forget the burning of pages.

Even forget the cavemen clubbing one another.
Let's even forget the father and mother.
Yes, yes, yes.
We'll make an Oswald idol confess.

That will add validation to our claim.
Violence is all because of movies and the video game.
It's not because parents don't moniter their kids.
We can't say that as they'd flip their lids.

It's not because humans have NEVER be able to get along.
All throughout history singing the same old song.
It's not because a gun can be bought at a yard sale.
No no, it's because of the way Paperboy delivers the mail.

It's because a guy on wires with a fake gun,
Stomps around and blows things up a ton.
Its because Dirty Harry says it is cool,
To simply off some fool.

After all fiction and reality are so close.
I mean the world really has Mighty Mouse.
Didn't you see him save that plane?
He even stopped a runaway train.

Things are so blurry between the truth and fiction.
The dictionary should give it a new depiction.
Reality is what we say,
Everything else is fiction at your bay.

Listen to us,
We may ride the short bus,
But we will never steer you wrong,
We'll continue to blame movies and videogames singing the same old song.

Pfffft is all I can say to any of that crap as they continue to flap. Violent movies and games have only been around what? 50 years for movies and 25 for games at each hut? And how long have people been violent and killing? I rest my case, isn't it chilling? Society is just as violent as they ever were. Just better at hiding it and making the lines blur. Now I will end my ranting sass as V has come to pass from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Time To Unite And Take Flight!

For U there were many things the cat could do. Like underwear with squeal marks in your view. I bet that would raise your neck hair. But mine too, so I avoided that at my lair. Instead we go all Union at my sea and it still is kinda scary.

I sit and pray toward the sky,
But no matter how much I try,
This tingly feeling will not pass.
I still have a hand up my ass.

I scream and continue to fight.
But the sucker gets all the more tight.
No matter how much I sass.
I still have a hand up my ass.

I get the blame for each outrageous claim.
People all around make fun of my name.
I'm mocked by every social class.
All thanks to a head hand up my ass.

People around me get dubbed Sir.
The line between us continues to blur.
If not for your ring of brass,
And that hand you have up my ass.

I search for pure bliss.
Almost securing a kiss.
That is until the sweet lass.
Notices a hand up my ass.

Why can't I be set free?
Why do you put pressure in me?
Certain places you should never trespass.
Like sticking a hand up my ass.

I can't even dress myself.
Plus I'm as tall as an elf.
I'm wood seeking some lawn grass.
Do I really need a hand up my ass?

Don't even think about it!
I don't want to swap your spit.
My eyes may be made of glass.
But I know you want more than a hand up my ass.

Oh my life without that hand.
Would be ever so grand.
I could swim with bass,
But no, you have a hand up my ass.

Some have it so good.
They may have no wood.
But aren't fighting a tingly feeling that won't pass.
Like me, forever, with a hand up my ass.

That is sure a union I would not like. But one would soon take a hike. For they would not like what they found. The cat can scare away a butt sniffing hound. So what else can I say class? I'm just happy I don't have such a mass up my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

A dVerse Hero Tries To Prove He Isn't A Zero!

Seems only fitting for dVerse to bring on the cat's curse. That would be for T too, as he always comes back to my zoo. Guessed who it is yet? Probably pretty easy if you follow this pet. For Tarsier Man is back and on the so called saving attack. But why stop there? Let's go all out today at my lair.

Each month at my sea,
You have seen something new from me.
Or rather Pat,
As he puts his name on the hard work of the cat.

Each month we add a book,
To our little nook.
And with Drazin in one,
The bottom of the barrel seemed fun.

So what may delight some,
As Brian has given such a hum,
That Tarsier Man should be on display.
It now sadly comes to pass at my bay.

Not only does this eye popping loon,
Who's nothing but an overgrown baboon,
Get a theme song as well,
But now he has books at my cell.

Notice the plural there?
For it isn't a typical day at my lair.
Not one, not even two.
No, this nut gets three releases at my zoo.

Tarsier Man's fame is on the rise,
Even with his stupid disguise.
Who cares what a monkey looks like anyway?
But yeah, nice of him to cover up his bug eyed display.

Now without further adieu,
Here are three new books at my zoo.
One even has versions of Cassie and I,
Fighting some blubber lip mime guy.

Scary nipples of the dark knight?
A blubber lip mime in sight?
And a guy with his undies in a bunch?
Boy, this loon is really out to lunch.

For fear.

A rump on display?
A jingle man has a bad day?
Tarsier Man pulling a Lethal Weapon 2?
This nut surely belongs in a zoo.

For more fear.

A dead toad?
Mail by the load?
A psycho mailman?
How can any be a fan?

For even more fear.

Oh and did I mention since it is a dVerse day, I'll be nice and the first one is FREE at my bay. Yeah, all because of dVerse, not because the nut needs all the help he can get and makes me curse. Be nice too and leave a review!

Now was that not a big day for the loon at my bay? And Pat even has more coming to add to Tarsier Man's theme song humming. The cat is never getting rid of him and I thought Drazin stopping by was grim. This is too much for the cat. I'll go bite Pat. Tarsier Man and Zombie Man are two new added to the superhero class. Who knows what will come next from my super little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Today We Delve Into Round Twelve!

For S there is nothing else I could do than to bring the crazies once more to you. It works so well, especially with this round of search engine crazies who found my cell. For S is certainly at play. Just look at what this nut said many a different way.

"carrot in snowman butt
picture of real snowman mooning
mooning in the snow
snowman butt crack
snowman ass
snowman ass crack
snow man mooning
snow man butt
snowman butt
snowman showing his butt crack
how to make a snowman mooning
snowman with ass
pictures of snowman mooning
snowman mooning
mooning snowman
mooning snowman pictures"

Someone seriously has an issue that needs more than a umm tissue. Snowman Cracks R Us will certainly let this or these nuts board the bus.

"a lot and lots of rats"

Someone really liked the R post, wanting lots of rats to come to their coast.

"pictures of peoples teeth that such they thubs"

Umm what? Can anyone figure out this nut? Suck thumbs? Hate it when people type out their bums.

"avoiding addiction when its in your dna"

Pffft just an excuse, maybe my dna let's me rhyme out my caboose?

"barney hotdog pillow images"

Do we even want to know? A purple dinosaur and a hot dog don't go together at any show.

"escaping globland"

There is no escape once you dawn the globland cape.

"why does johnny five poop in your shoe"

Clearly he does not like you. But I never knew a robot could poo.

"do not lie"

Why is that? It is so fun for the cat. But why would you type that in Google? Must have lied and gave you something to oogle.

"man's eye pops out"

That would be a sight and probably a fright.

"scariest picture ever nicolas cage"

While I agree he is scary indeed. Sure honey boo boo tops him on any feed.

"two grandmas kissing"

Hmmmm well better than the snow man guy's fetish I suppose. Still curls my toes.

"golly gee i'm a lucky boy"

I guess he found two grandmas kissing and figured out what he was missing.

"will you be my valentine cat"

A little late, but no! Hate that day at my show.

"animal booby"

Fetish seems to be the word of the day with these crazies on display.

"pick nose wallpaper"

Blah to that. I hope you don't pick and flick as that is eww to the cat.

And the winner this time did not have the funniest search engine chime. But he made me go look so deserves the win at my nook!

"stupid things truckdrivers do"

I mean doesn't that sum it up? I wonder which one first suffered a hiccup and then clogged the road? Maybe they tried to go into flying mode? After all the future is supposed to be here and flying cars were supposed to be near. Or they just failed drivers ed class and so ends another search engine chime to the nuts that visit my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

With This Stint We Look At Print!

So as the "enjoy your winter, smash a printer" send off was on the go, Oui Oui mentioned how their human was an actual printer at their show. You know, someone who works at printing stuff to and fro. This amused the cat and so we go down that road at my mat.

Smash a printer,
I mean tin junk.
Might get a splinter,
But you won't be sunk.

For a human can be one,
And if a smashing came due.
You would sure have less fun,
Dropping the soap and showing your gazoo.

Then there are others as well,
That may confuse the brain dead.
Well is one that might cause them hell,
As they may call Lassie to be fed.

Say dam and their may be a big shock,
If you are near a prude.
They may pick up a rock,
And hit you for being rude.

Even something as simple as a sock,
Can cause a scene.
For one can smell making people gawk,
Or they could whack you and be mean.

Do you know what I mean?
So you say I am shrewd?
I mean I wasn't mean but serene.
Damn, brain dead dude.

Then to top it off,
There is little old me.
It could make me scoff,
But I can read between the lines at my sea.

For a little rhyming ass,
Is not a mule.
It is the thing that passes gas,
And that is way more cool.

So a word to the wise,
Be careful what you type.
For if the brain dead come like flies,
After sucking on their druggie pipe.

They make take your words to heart,
And actaully go another way.
They aren't as sharp as a dart,
More like as dull a spoon on display.

Have to admit I never thought of an actual human printer, I guess Oui Oui opened my mind this winter. But now thanks to them the cat has the warning for all, if you can't get it right or read between the lines, go bounce your head against the wall. Then maybe nothing brain dead like will come to pass. Either way though, at least I am not an actual little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

A Romp Rat From The Cat!

So the cat is here to cause some fear or at least get an oh dear as you come to peer. Also showing the need for a cat around to maybe thin out the crowd. I think you can guess that for R we go into a rat of a mess.

Oh so cute,
And not at all a brute.
But they might bite,
Still not a bad site.

Then you get two,
Who plan to screw.
And we go down hill,
As they get a thrill.

You get a full cage,
As they unleash their sexual rage.
Rat sex at my sea,
I'll go anywhere as I'm that crazy.

Then comes your stock,
That will make all gawk.
Must be rough to feed,
And a big shovel you will need.

For they leave lots behind,
That does not smell kind.
Will eat your trash though,
Kind of recycling at your show.

But then you won't see the floor,
Maybe not even the door.
So as they go,
You won't even know.

You'll be a hoarder like this guy.
With food prices sky high.
Yes, it is true,
This guy hoards this many at his zoo.

They even grow wings,
And fly over things.
Letting whatever loose,
They feel like from their caboose.

But then they evolve once more,
To Nutria rats at your shore.
They could be rather scary,
And are really hairy.

Then they take over,
Become worse than rover.
This will not do,
Never get two!

Did you enjoy the rat show? Maybe like the Rat King you like the ratty glow. Who gives a rats behind, the cat just had rat pop into his mind. Could it be the cat needs a snack? Either way you get a rat attack. I am all done with my rat sass. Those giant ones still scare my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Grab Your Rig And Prepare To Dig!

Q may leave many reaching or send them on some queen type speeching. Maybe talk about the band who travel the land or some stupid wave that oh so many a 'sir' crave. But nothing will stop the cat as away we go with Q at my mat.

Some might consider it a cheat,
If used for a Scrabble retreat.
As it is more effective than Qi's use.
Some may even cry, abuse!

But that just makes it fun,
As it also proves the Qu rule wrong by a ton.
Just like i before e.
You humans need new rules at your sea.

So away we dig,
The hole has to be mighty big.
It usually resides in a giant litterbox,
Which is too hot for socks.

That must suck for cats there,
None to chew at their lair.
There are always toes,
As those Egyptians strike a pose.

That is where it was made too,
By Xerxes and his crew.
Ordering it to be made,
So they could control its trade.

Over half way there.
Have you guessed yet at my lair?
I know, making you use your brain.
That has to cause some strain.

Maybe you are Qasid at you sea?
Wouldn't surprise me.
But nope that isn't it.
You need to add more of what creates spit.

They originate upon high,
Helping the land below be less dry.
They run in a straight line,
Which works for the ocd of this feline.

That's right!
You have seen the light.
Or maybe not,
But a Qanat is the word behind my Q plot.

Could really increase your score and keep the water flowing forever more. See two great uses for you. One to help flush the stuff in the loo and another to bring you Scrabble fame. The Scrabble fans will cheer your name. Now back to digging your Qanat class. I will just be a slave driving little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

A Name Not The Same!

So for P I thought it would be fun to do a Pat run. I know all want to know what is the real name of Pat at our show. Yeah, the cat will finally tell as he rings the P A to Z bell.

Get ready to hear,
Perk up your ear,
Come closer, dear.
That word causes fear.

It's Foghorn Corn,
Since the day he was born.
Don't believe me?
Damn, I can't fool thee.

It's Klipper Clapper,
He's a mighty fine trapper.
It's Freedom Hatt,
He's really really fat.

Nope, Bubbles Magoo,
Is the name that is true.
I sure hope not,
Would not bestow that name on a robot.

Whoopdi Doo,
A relation to the mutt at our zoo.
Fartin Martin works.
Could pass gas and scare away jerks.

Books by Fartin Martin could be all the craze,
Even if the gas left you in a daze.
Of course if they stink,
That would tickle Fartin Martin pink.

Sadly, its Dugo Donald Diefenbaker.
Triple D could be a money maker.
At least one of the D's isn't Dick,
That would sound less slick.

Tucker Trucker is the best,
It passes the umm clucker test.
Peter Horne works too,
Many really have that last name near my zoo.

Orlin it really is,
Wait! That's mine with the rhyming biz.
Being named after a cat,
How about that?

So after all of that,
Still think it isn't Pat?
I mean you were given such great names by the cat,
Fartin Martin is still fat.

This came about as a while back Pat was given a shout, that one did not think it was his real name. So the cat decided to mame. But for those who think otherwise they are out of luck, as it has nothing to do with anything that rhymes with truck. Pat Hatt is truly what came to pass, so just trust my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Oligogenics Brings The Scary And Hairy!

Today the cat will save you some dough, I'm so nice I know. Unless you too are snip snip, then go ahead and throw out a hip. But for O oligogenics is at play, which will make you want to put it away.

With this good old boy,
There is no joy.
Don't even be coy,
Just reach for a toy.

Less hair on a cat,
But don't consider that.
Such things will bring about the SPCA,
Maybe they'll drag him away?

Make you want to knit a sweater.
At least nothing gets wetter.
Leaving clean sheets.
Until your lint brush supply depletes.

Plus no grooming costs at all.
Could use plenty at his hall.
But what do you care?
You're using him as an oligogenic at your lair.

At least he can't sneeze,
Does that make you weak in the knees?
I didn't think so,
Proving oligogenics is at work at my show.

I can't forget the man.
Although of oligogenics he is only a fan,
If things keep progressing,
For with it men are always regressing.

Hair in the nose?
There she blows.
A lazy eye?
Look to the sky.

A blown up rack?
Hear them clackity clack.
Too big to move?
Find a groove.

So the only way,
Oligogenics works at any man bay,
Is to bring forth the dead,
Bet some would still get a-head.

But dead and hungry would disway most.
After all they don't want to share food at their coast.
Plus if she got a good grip,
You'd be good and snip snip.

Guess what it means yet? Aren't I a sly pet? Oligogenics is another word for birth control and with such companions I'm sure that would be an easy goal. There was my helpful way of population control class. I enjoy being a helpful little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

No Butts, Just dVerse Nuts!

What is that you say? You were looking for a dVerse crack display? Doesn't work for N, so it's nuts away at my den. This should be fun as a nut tale is spun by a rhyming nut. At least I don't sniff a butt.

Nuts are great.
Nuts are grand.
The crazies can relate.
And they hang when you stand.

Nuts are scary.
Nuts are weird.
Some are overly hairy.
Others dawn a beard.

Nuts come with a warning.
Nuts come in a bag.
They may turn cold in the morning,
Or want to play tag.

Nuts come in many shapes.
Nuts come in a can.
Some shrivel like grapes,
Becoming a flash in the pan.

Nuts can make you dead.
Nuts can make you shout.
As up pops a nutty head,
That can really sprout.

Nuts can make you fat.
Nuts can make you full.
Once they have a hat,
Open wide and pull.

Nuts may give you pleasure.
Nuts may cause you doom.
Who cares how they measure,
As long as they are in bloom.

Nuts may make you cry.
Nuts may uncancel your show.
Thanks to many a girl and guy,
They uncancelled Jericho.

Nuts will always remain.
Nuts will always crow.
But if they are to vain,
Kick em down below.

Nuts will never be.
Nuts will never play.
For with little old me,
I was snipped snipped at my bay.

Wasn't that a nutty run? Nuts can sure have some nutty fun. Did your mind go to the gutter giving you a stutter? At least I didn't mention nuts in peanut butter. That may have made you mutter. But with all the nuts at my sea, I couldn't help but go all nutty. Damn, talking about nuts in mass sounds so bad to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Time To Make My Own. Maybe Spielberg Will Phone!

So the cat and Pat always go on about movies at our mat. But we have never made one up yet. So that just has to be done by this pet. Now this is the full layout of what would come about as for M I give a new type of movie shout.

They were tired of their life.
From second grade they were caused strife.
Called all kinds of names,
And always left out of sports games.

But when he showed up it was the last straw.
It was time they exploited their so called flaw.
They now had a mission,
For he never should have stood over them granting admission.

The leader of the bunch,
Is ready to make some balls crunch.
He can also delve into strange lands,
From cartoon to videogame stands.

Next up is the brains of the bunch,
He always serves them lunch.
A real Reniassance Man,
Of the sun he is also a fan.

Then there is the Doc.
He heals them when pleted by a rock.
But now he wants to MASH,
And join in on the clash.

Then there is him,
Whenever things are grim,
He just puts on a show about nothing at all.
He still claims he was in the pool when caught in the shower stall.

Finally the mouthpiece of the group.
He hates drive thrus and their goop.
Also can be found Gone Fishin' too.
Plus he hangs out with the "I'm too old for this shit" crew.

Together they will take the titan down.
They are determined to make him frown.
Don't miss them coming to a theater near you,
For when "Short Bald Guys Attack" is surely worth a view.

Now don't you all want to see how the titan falls to the shrimpy? Could be quite the show. A short bald guy team up is overdue don't you know. Would surely give The Expendables a run for their money and could be kind of funny. It will soon be sent out in mass all thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

A Monster At The Other Sea That Causes No Glee!

So dVerse wants us to find that monster at the end of this book. Whoops, read that the other day at another nook. I guess they have good timing I suppose, but the kiddo there still curls the cats toes. Yet at another sea there is something way more creepy. Thankfully it is not here but there it scares my little rhyming rear. Here or there, confused yet at my lair?

We jump from the cage,
Check our page.
Then go to explore,
When at that other shore.

Slap a cat or ten,
As they stroll around that den.
Bite a dog tail.
Fun to hear him wail.

Then there is a noise.
It causes us no joys.
That thundering cry,
Has to be Zeus in the sky.

Or maybe just Humpty Dumpty having a fall.
Or some human with one less brick in the wall,
Off to study the writing on the bathroom stall.
Sadly, that is a true study at ones hall.

And there it is again,
Roaring out across the den.
With its even tune,
My tail puffs up like a raccoon.

Cassie watches from afar,
I peek at it as the door is left ajar.
But then it creeps down the hall,
And I spring up the wall.

Taking off under the bed.
Could I be a monster there a kid might dread?
Hmm that could be fun to do.
But not with this thing in my view.

Its shriek hurts the ears.
It causes many fears,
As off those cats scatter,
Even the ones that are a tad fatter.

Good exercise I suppose.
As the sound grows.
It is getting near to us.
I need to board a bus,

And take off for home,
Where this monster doesn't roam.
Oh wait!
There is no need for such a debate.

I'll just sprint to the wall,
At the end of the hall,
And put an end to this thug,
By simply pulling the plug.

I guess there is an easy way to deal with many monsters at our bay. If all else fails yank the rip cord. Of course if you don't have a parachute you may end up as flat as a board. But that is a whole other story. So what is the monster at the end of this rhyme in all its glory? I think they call it a vacuum cleaner or something like that. It is not liked by this cat. I'd go bury it in the grass and walk away a proud little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

A Blubber Lip Trip!

So for L the cat figured he would give some lip. Or rather show a lip clip. Some you may not want to see, some could have too much tongue for thee. But you never know to type of lip that could turn your crank at your show.

Open your lips,
For here are some tips.
As they grow wide,
Could bring forth a stink bomb tide.

Some are so fantastic,
They are made of plastic.
Barbie would even be jealous of such things.
As plastic as your toy plane wings.

They can be full of metal too.
Yes, it is true.
You humans go and pierce such crap.
To that I give a sarcastic clap.

They can be made of blubber.
It would make you a great clubber.
Especially on a party boat.
If it sinks you can keep all afloat.

They can even pucker,
When you want to umm flip off a trucker.
You pucker when you swear,
At least some do at their lair.

That can even crack,
Blah at any shack.
May want to consider the fish scales,
And forget the rusty nails.

Perfection they say,
From a photoshop bay.
That works too,
As all will believe your fake view.

Can even reveal a metal mouth.
Sending any near lips south.
For they can sure stick,
With such a metal trick.

And some reveal a long tongue,
They do say these guys throw their own dung.
But if you feed him a grape,
You might get thanked by an ape.

And speaking of tongue,
Your bell is really rung,
For if you live far south,
I hear some like lips and tongue that has growth.

Now don't give me any lip for this lip trip. Or I'll show a clip of rumps for R. That could blind many near and far. Actually it would blind me too. Can you guess how many belong to each gender at your zoo? Forgeting the last two, as I know no human that comes here is that eww. So there was my lip sass from my ever so lippy little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.