Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Time To Unite And Take Flight!

For U there were many things the cat could do. Like underwear with squeal marks in your view. I bet that would raise your neck hair. But mine too, so I avoided that at my lair. Instead we go all Union at my sea and it still is kinda scary.

I sit and pray toward the sky,
But no matter how much I try,
This tingly feeling will not pass.
I still have a hand up my ass.


I scream and continue to fight.
But the sucker gets all the more tight.
No matter how much I sass.
I still have a hand up my ass.


I get the blame for each outrageous claim.
People all around make fun of my name.
I'm mocked by every social class.
All thanks to a head hand up my ass.


People around me get dubbed Sir.
The line between us continues to blur.
If not for your ring of brass,
And that hand you have up my ass.


I search for pure bliss.
Almost securing a kiss.
That is until the sweet lass.
Notices a hand up my ass.

Why can't I be set free?
Why do you put pressure in me?
Certain places you should never trespass.
Like sticking a hand up my ass.


I can't even dress myself.
Plus I'm as tall as an elf.
I'm wood seeking some lawn grass.
Do I really need a hand up my ass?


Don't even think about it!
I don't want to swap your spit.
My eyes may be made of glass.
But I know you want more than a hand up my ass.

Oh my life without that hand.
Would be ever so grand.
I could swim with bass,
But no, you have a hand up my ass.


Some have it so good.
They may have no wood.
But aren't fighting a tingly feeling that won't pass.
Like me, forever, with a hand up my ass.

That is sure a union I would not like. But one would soon take a hike. For they would not like what they found. The cat can scare away a butt sniffing hound. So what else can I say class? I'm just happy I don't have such a mass up my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

130 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Be a while
      Since you went the first mile

      Delete
    2. It will probably be a long time again too Pat, a vital victory haha. I think some sort of publishing error might have been behind it though

      Delete
    3. Yay, Yay, who's our man
      Yeamie Waffles took his stand
      Congrats, Yeamie

      Delete
    4. Stupid Google shunned me today
      And the post didn't show up at many a bay
      Until hours later at each zoo
      So that could have been behind it too

      Delete
    5. Pat
      Being the Nana, I was a little worried about you this morning, but I know you put it on schedule. So then I assumed it was a glitch in your hitch. :)

      Delete
    6. Yeah right now I have posts ready to go
      Until July 1st at my show
      So if none show up
      It is a crummy blogger hiccup
      And the post is here
      Just none know to come to peer
      But if i don't respond for a day or three
      Then I may be dead or dying at my sea lol

      Delete
  2. I think that it's time that we all unite in agreement that these kinds of puppets are really creepy haha. I guess that puppets and things like this are becoming a thing of the past and maybe I shouldn't feel too sad about that after all haha, great post buddy.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Is it strange how many of them look alike too?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they seem to take over the guy
      With the hand up their ass reaching for the sky

      Delete
  4. Not so much the puppets
    But one tends to forget
    The talented puppeteer
    Able to hold on the humor
    The audience spell bound
    At every round!

    Hank


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is true
      They sure have to hit the right cue
      And entertain away
      At their bay

      Delete
  5. Creepier than mimes they are
    They give me shivers by far!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha know how to scare you
      With a puppet in view

      Delete
    2. that is not a puppet...that is a ventriloquist dummy.
      and they are not yummy.
      Give me a cute sock puppet any day
      or even elmo on display
      but not one of those
      they cause me woes!

      Delete
    3. Well they can be a puppet too
      But yeah a dummy is more what they are in view
      Socks stink though
      And could have gunk from a zombie toe lol

      Delete
    4. hahahaha....how about a new sock
      or a sock monkey
      that has never touched toes that are gunky!
      lol...

      Delete
    5. haha that would work better I suppose
      And cure any need of gunk from toes

      Delete
  6. haha...puppets are freaky man...and unending procto-exam
    whoa that a bit deep you creep, when you pull out i might seep
    eeeeeeeeep!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blah to that
      Nasty to the cat

      Delete
    2. where are your manners my twin?
      that break surely did you in!

      Delete
    3. Yep he's sure back to his old ways
      With his gawker daze

      Delete
  7. oh yeah that should really freak you OCD
    hoo hoo, thanks to me.

    smiles.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes you did a good job on that
      Still very nasty to the cat

      Delete
  8. What a coincidence. Yesterday when I went to the beauty bar, I told the lady holding the needle I did NOT want to look like those scary puppets with the deep lines around my mouth so shoot me up, plump me up, puff me up, whatever ya gotta do so I don't look like those clowns.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah you surely don't want that at all
      For then someone might try and stick a hand up your arse at your hall haha

      Delete
  9. This is just one funny post
    A puppeteer knows the most
    But it takes cat's keen mind
    To equate a behind
    To those cute little woodies
    Move their hands and the footies
    So I give a big shout
    Unity does have the clout.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha came to me
      As I noticed one on TV
      Then gave it a go
      A union sorta like at your show
      Except a hand on the ass
      Instead of up one comes to pass lol

      Delete
  10. OMG. You are quite funny. Those poor puppets need to start a union. Life would be so much better as a marionette!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha glad it was fun
      Here under my sun
      And yeah so much better with a string
      I'll have to send them the union thing

      Delete
  11. Quite certain you could do a show with one using this as the skit.

    Empathy for the puppets, lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha hmmm you never know
      Could give the creepy thing a go

      Delete
  12. We enjoyed that one Pat, especially since my Dad knew the Nelson dude in the 5th pic and his son Larry. He says neither one were dummies!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow that is cool
      Glad neither is a fool

      Delete
  13. What??? No Triumph the Insult Comic Dog??? Is it b/c he would poop on you? :D LOL! <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah the cat avoided the mutt
      Might try and sniff his butt

      Delete
  14. Ha, never thought of puppets that way
    you've given me a new perspective today
    now my mind will be forever jaded
    and my enjoyment of puppetry faded
    and I will always picture the sass
    about a hand up the ass!
    (LOL)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha oh the things I do
      Here at my zoo
      When I go to the gutter
      At least I cleared out any clutter

      Delete
  15. Don't speak so quick
    And think this ick,
    But unions there are of many kinds
    And some may like a hand up their behinds.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I suppose that is true
      May turn many on at their zoo
      Some may just like to view
      Could be creepy to

      Delete
  16. I'll never look at a puppet the same way again

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So fun for the cat
      To make one think that

      Delete
  17. I will never look at a puppeteer the same again LOL

    Lucy from Lucy's Reality

    ReplyDelete
  18. Joey Gladstone and Alf would have a blast

    probably watching cartoon marathons from the past

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The two together would be great
      Cartoon world would be their fate

      Delete
  19. Replies
    1. No hand at all?
      So a leg then at their hall?

      Delete
  20. LOL.... so funny. Hmmmmm.... I don't see Lamb Chop up there. I guess even Shari Lewis was a pervert.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that stupid song that never ends at my sea
      Was already done by me

      Delete
  21. yes, your show was gone
    today in the dawn
    but I clicked anyway
    to see what today
    on dispaly at your bay

    these puppets seem
    not always dumm
    they can be frown
    and 'chew the gum'
    of real drama
    about union or us
    when someone
    pulling their ass

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah gone it was
      Stupid blogger tried to stop my buzz
      But always hear
      Even if it isn't clear
      LOL good way to look at it too
      Maybe they'll stage a coo

      Delete
  22. Looks like the men are "bonding" with those puppets
    Even the ones that look like muppets
    To each his own I suppose
    But you'll never catch me with my hand up one of those

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they do seem to have a great bond
      That goes above and beyond
      But if that gives them a thrill
      They sure get their fill

      Delete
  23. There are a few things I hate -- clowns, talking animals, and puppets. I get really creeped out by puppets. My husband tortured me so badly with one of my sons toys that I threw it away and forbid them ever to be brought back. To get even he bought Chicken Run!

    No rhymes today, just facts.

    Thanks for all your lovely comments on my blog, so appreciated!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Talking animals are dumb
      Their lips moving are so fake and then some
      LOL at chicken run
      That one was kinda fun

      Delete
  24. They may be a bit creepy (the puppets) but we need to treat them well or...else.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or else they go all Chucky?
      That would not be plucky

      Delete
  25. This post boarders on being real scary,
    Especially when you consider the umm...hairy.
    I puppet or wood I'd like not to be,
    Here or at any other blue sea.

    Those people who make a living,
    with their hands doing the giving,
    might be the scariest of all about,
    their job could certainly make a lesser man shout.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Could make a fetish man happy
      As they get sappy
      And he likes the hand up the rear
      While yeah just causing others fear

      Delete
  26. How did Alf manage not to have a hand up his arse?

    ReplyDelete
  27. I don't mind animal puppets
    they are kinda cute
    but those that look like people, NO
    they are creepy and should GO!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So puppets are okay
      As long as they have a fury display

      Delete
  28. Underwear with squeal marks..., nearly keeled over, almost.
    I laughed so hard I nearly couldn't read the rest of the post!

    Then I envisioned the squeal mark at hand
    Powering puppets all over the land
    So... um, environmentally manned
    Next thing we know, poop will be banned.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha got you on the first go
      Fun to do don't you know
      Well they have the dog poop ban
      Many of that aren't a fan
      So humans are next I suppose
      God only knows

      Delete
  29. Sometimes I wonder if it isn't those puppets that keep the makers of Preparation H in business?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They probably have quite the demand
      Either that or they can only stand

      Delete
  30. haha! It's a funny rhyme, but I do feel these puppets' pain.
    Nutschell
    www.thewritingnut.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes their pain is much
      As one reaches up to touch

      Delete
  31. They can't be trusted even when they're back in the box!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A puppet conspiracy you say
      I'll keep in eye on them at my bay

      Delete
  32. I will never look at puppets the same way again...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seems I scarred many today
      With my puppet display

      Delete
  33. i read that out loud to my mum, we had a good old giggle like japanese schoolgirls!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha that would be a funny sight
      Laughing at the poor puppets and their plight

      Delete
  34. Alf's ass is puppeteer free...LIKE A BOSS!

    haha. Between ALF and Mr. Woodchuck, this post hit me right in the nostalgia-s.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brought the nostalgia on
      So fun to do at my lawn

      Delete
  35. Original and clever ~
    boring never!
    Have a great day
    where you stay!

    ReplyDelete
  36. orlin N cassie...we haz noe paws up any ones azz sew we will gives ewe a round oh applause...

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ eggs cell ant post two day !!!


    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed it
      And no paws up an arse because claws would hurt a bit haha

      Delete
  37. We had the chance to see some bloke
    say stuff without his kips move
    In Los vegas, I said no.
    Rather see circ soleil (sp)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I would rather see that too
      Much more fun to view

      Delete
  38. That is "lips move" but I might have seen it if it was "kips move"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I got the drift
      But yeah kips would make anyones spirit lift

      Delete
  39. Despite any rumor,
    I'm a puppet for humor.
    But those in control
    must keep hands to themselves.
    If they should reach their paws,
    rest assured I will teach them laws.
    To rephrase with brass,
    this girl will kick their ass.

    VR Barkowski

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL you don't mess around
      Hate to be a butt sniffing hound
      Might lose and eye
      As you make them cry

      Delete
  40. Puppets have suddenly become disturbing. LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That cat can do that
      With most anything at his mat

      Delete
  41. Marionette
    Dance for me still
    Keeping your hands far away
    Move with your strings
    From high up above
    Whenever you come to play

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is the better way
      No need for ass play

      Delete
  42. Cat I dont like these puppets make me feel afraid; and are really freaky!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha they scare you too
      Hmm I'll remember that at my zoo

      Delete
    2. I think look like chucky the diabolic boy is terrible!

      Delete
    3. That he is
      With his horror biz

      Delete
  43. Those things creep me out. I can thank Chucky for that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chucky was one evil doll
      Could scare anyone at their hall

      Delete
  44. whoa, a puppet show at your bay
    makes for a bit of scary play
    do you dare put a hand up there
    may be too much too bare
    but, perhaps these puppets
    don't really care, they
    just want their fair share
    make some dough like the Muppets

    PS - Now every time I see a puppet I'll wonder about the hand thing..good grief..lol..



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But the Muppets can sing and dance
      These guys can't even prance
      They just sit with a hand up their ass
      They have no class haha
      Always thinking thanks to the cat
      He sure likes that

      Delete
    2. Ok, now you have me laughing so agree the Muppets are a classy act..who doesn't like Elmo and Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog..too funny today at your bay..

      Delete
    3. Well Elmo annoys me
      But the rest are fine at my sea

      Delete
    4. oh c'mon no tickle me Elmo...
      you do like to make people laugh
      a tickle can be fun under your sun
      try it you'll see...

      PS. Ok I'm having a bit of fun..now, I'm on the run..good night Pat and his cat..

      Delete
    5. haha I suppose if the right person were to tickle me
      Otherwise it may be creepy
      Really got you going today
      Here at my bay

      Delete
  45. A standing ovation to you this time
    It's so funny, I can't even rhyme
    But I keep laughing as the moments pass
    And I'm glad there's no hand up my ass.

    Kudos on a hilarious post!
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well you still rhymed away
      With the easy ones this day
      Glad you enjoyed the run
      Interesting what I can do when random strikes under my sun haha

      Delete
  46. My physical draws near
    and that ain't no sass.
    'Cause the doc checks my rear
    with a hand up my ass.

    Great post!
    You did it with class!
    Butt I laughed the most
    about a hand up an ass.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah had a Doc hand or two
      Up the arse at my zoo
      Not fun at hall
      At least he doesn't give a cat call

      haha not sure how much class
      But with that mass
      I sure got some sass
      All from a hand up the ass

      Delete
  47. I remember watching an episode of The Twilight Zone featuring a ventroliquist and his puppet. Your post made me think of that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the twilight zone
      Not a bad tone

      Delete
  48. Brilliant! I wonder if Alf is on Netflix. That show was terrific. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that show was fun
      Holds up pretty well too under each sun

      Delete
  49. Pat, we are SO sorry for your condition. That sure does explain a lot! Ahahahaha! We hope you have an extraction soon. MOL

    (all in good fun)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL you really are going right to town here
      I've been a bad influence on you I fear hahaha

      Delete
  50. This kind of mannequin is far too creepy
    For me to deal with if even a little sleepy.
    Next thing you know they're all holding knives
    And scaring me out of all my nine lives.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nine lives you say
      Wow you have as many as a cat at your bay haha

      Delete
  51. haha with Mel Gibson in there! AHHH, that's the scariest one of all.

    I definitely loved seeing Uncle Joey and Alf looks extra frowy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah he can be scary indeed
      Alf and his frow should take heed

      Delete
  52. Yep. This isn't helping with my discomfort around puppets.

    At all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha dding to it I suppose
      Sorry for the woes

      Delete
  53. Yep. That's a life I do not envy either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One surely not to envy at all
      At any hall

      Delete
  54. I wonder what a puppets proctologist looks like?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not sure they need one
      Always being cleaned out under their sun

      Delete
  55. very fun to read. My neighbor and best friend Robby had a Howdy Doody marionette. We all were stuck watching some really terrible shows in the 50's.
    Robby and I would stuff saltines in Howdy's mouth to see how many we could get him to crunch up at one time! We were such witty 5 year olds!!!

    jean xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha hey that would be fun to do
      ay get a howdy do too

      Delete