Monday, May 6, 2013

A Fright Late At Night!

So back at the start of season three with little old me, some ideas were given by Mary. Yeah I know, that was four months ago at my show. But when you are so far ahead it takes a while for things to be said. The first was late night TV. Oh this is going to be fun at my sea.

 

Too broke to afford porn?
The butt lift is born.
Works for either gender,
As they go on quite the bender.

 

All kinds of facial crap,
With a redundant lap.
As seen on TV?
So what am I watching? A goat taking a pee?

 

You even get a reward,
For striking the late night TV cord.
Look 40,000,000,000,000 bucks out of thin air.
That would buy one big lair.

 

Conquer like the Hoff?
 Yeah sing and cough.
You'll sell 2 whole albums in North America too.
Wow, what his conquering can do.

 

Look at that mug,
I meant the jug.
You can slap yourself awake,
But such a mug you can't fake.

 

Even thinking of the mutt,
Who will also be up at your hut.
Huddled by your butt.
As you watch some creepy nut.

 

See what I mean?
He is just trying to clean.
But you continue to stare.
Do you think he is aware?

 

The hang thingy magiggy man,
Wants all to become a fan.
Just say yes,
To what is anyone's guess.

 

Mr. T will clobber thee.
He'll bring in Rocky,
And sell you a blue room.
Blue will always be in bloom.

 

And here you go.
It's some great balls of fire at your show.
I bet your ears will hang low,
As you watch him wobble to and fro.

Don't you just want to stay up and watch now? I'm sure they will even try and sell you a cow. I think I'd rather take nightmares over the above. But feel free to show Richard some love and dance away until the light of day. When it comes to late night TV never trespass, trust my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

116 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Made it back on top
      No waffles to make you flop

      Delete
  2. I would also prefer nightmares to all that you mentioned here, maybe except the hang thingy magiggy man. I want to know what the hell he is upto :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the hang thingy magiggy man
      Has a fan
      Let me know
      If you find out why things hang high and low

      Delete
  3. i am glad i have never ever seen any of that...butt lift eh...hmm

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Need a lift?
      Could be rather swift haha

      Delete
  4. Late night TV needn't be a porn
    For those who have all the time
    Can linger on in bed in the morn
    Agreed,array of choices at hand

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah much is there
      As they pretend it is rare
      But seen one seen em all
      Same writing on the wall

      Delete
  5. its scary man, late night tv land...
    where old stars go to make dough
    that one with the mugg looks like the offspring of a gremlin
    just saying...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL maybe he ate after midnight
      And turned into such a fright

      Delete
  6. A trend I see
    at your sea
    of butts to
    lift and tighten too.

    While sandwiched
    in between
    lies Hasslehoff
    and Mr. T
    a snugly dog
    and a man with
    a mug.

    Oh glad I
    am not to see
    for I have no
    late night teevee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it is a fable
      But can be avoided without cable
      Such a great way to be
      With no butt lifting for all to see

      Delete
    2. To live advert free
      is the only way
      to be.

      Buy this
      buy that
      don't pester me
      with that.

      I have no cash
      don't you see
      I can't afford
      cable teevee.

      Delete
    3. Yep the way to be
      Unless you find a money tree
      Otherwise
      Ignore their lies

      Delete
  7. Styles may come and fads may go
    Late night TV may tell you so
    You order one this very minute
    They'll send you TWO, that's the limit
    But if you act even quicker than that
    They'll send you 4 right to your mat
    Then you have one for every room
    Whoa, do you think that I live on the moon?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha but if you live there
      They'll get you at your lair
      For even with four
      As out they pour
      You need to pay separate shipping
      So on the moon, to get it, into fort knox you will be dipping

      Delete
  8. I am some glad I never watch late night tv

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes be glad
      Not a fun time is had

      Delete
  9. Replies
    1. Yeah a scary sight
      Give any one a fright

      Delete
  10. You must be really bored to be watching late night TV. You need to take you magnesium chloride, potassium, zinc and folic acid so you sleep better

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pfft that crap isn't watched by me
      Was asked for by Mary
      And all of that crap
      Had enough of pills going in my yap haha

      Delete
  11. The land of late night TV
    They get you to watch for free
    For who would pay for such crap
    If anyone did, they would need slapped

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha your hand may be sore
      If you give such a roar
      For there are many a sap
      Who fall for their rap

      Delete
  12. Anything the Hoff and Mr. T is hawking has gotta be prime material!!! I actually find Richard Simmons quite entertaining in some warped way and enjoy watching him TRANSFORM people's lives!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I suppose he can entertain
      In some weird crazy way at ones lane

      Delete
  13. I've been up all night so it's off to the Land of Nod with me.

    Nitey Nite Cat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Geez late indeed
      Or early at your feed

      Delete
  14. At least with Richard there
    you'd be burning calories off your rear!
    hahaha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that is true
      But no one here needs to lost a calorie or two

      Delete
  15. AHHHHHHHHHHH, late night tv!!!!

    Who watches, other than the poor people who can not sleep, for one reason or another?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is very true
      And poorer still as they buy the crap at their zoo

      Delete
  16. It's a shame insomniacs
    don't have better choices.
    but lousy ads dominate
    we should combine our voices
    and zero dollars for a late night
    frenzied blog hop
    about our plight
    except there is no clock
    on a hop
    just good friends
    better entertainment and silly rhymes
    that don't!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that we could
      Go on a hop in each hood
      Giving the insomniacs something to view
      But then they could be scary too

      Delete
  17. But wait, there's more. Buy now and you'll get four. We're not sure what it is yet, but your sorry ass is willing to take a bet. If you watch late night TV, you might as well get something for free. Those infomercials scare me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha not a bet
      For this pet
      They are scary
      Some of them are real hairy

      Delete
  18. I can't see that picture of the slap chop guy without recalling the story of him beating up a hooker because she bit part of his tongue off.

    Also, I see no mention of Billy Mays, but I guess they don't show any of his infomercials anymore since he died.

    HI, I'M BILLY MAYS, AND IT SEEMS LIKE I'M YELLING BUT THIS IS JUST MY TALKING VOICE. I'M NOT WELCOME IN LIBRARIES OR CHURCHES.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha never knew that story
      That is rather gory
      And Billy Mays was past
      Could have joined him though to the cast

      Delete
  19. I have to say, at this point in life, lifts of anything, might be my delight.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well there you go
      Lift away at your show

      Delete
  20. Info-mercials...they suck!
    But not Richard's oldies.
    For when you get older
    those oldies are goldies :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha oldies aren't bad
      At any pad
      But watching him dance
      Not a chance

      Delete
  21. Not seen on TV would be so much better!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah indeed
      Better when not blathering on at ones feed

      Delete
  22. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xAX2Y8-g4g

    This is probably the most pathetic one I've ever seen. Mainly because this is the dad of the "balloon boy hoax".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is pathetic and pointless too
      What a moron, him and that shaky thing in view

      Delete
  23. I'm so glad I don't have TV
    These things would really scare me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha scare one and all
      Never grace my hall

      Delete
  24. This is amazing Pat and really funny but the entire time I read this I just kept wondering what a butt lift was haha, these adverts are weird man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha to get your butt firm I suppose
      But who really knows

      Delete
  25. Those are hilarious. Makes me glad I don't watch much TV.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah glad indeed
      After seeing such on your tv feed

      Delete
  26. My two youngest children think everything on those darn commercials is legit. Never mind that I, their mother, tell them otherwise. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha thankfully they have no credit card
      So no weird packages will show in the yard

      Delete
  27. Late nite tv is quite the bore
    To sit through it all is a daunting chore
    That's when it's time to turn on the xbox
    "Kill confirmed" man this game rocks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah i agree
      When the arm is aggravating me
      Flawless victory is fun
      Head shots must also be done

      Delete
  28. Even if you turn off TV, go out -
    bad news and ads will find you
    throughout...
    so better turn computer on
    to watch a few or sometimes - a ton

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they are all around
      And can easily be found
      Best to just turn away
      From their adly display

      Delete
  29. Richard Simmons needs to chill
    His voice alone makes me feel ill
    Of spastic energy he does not lack
    The man is like a yo-yo on crack.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL a yo yo
      Always on the go
      Him on Whose Line
      Disturbed the feline

      Delete
  30. Now I know why I don't watch late night TV!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah not need to watch
      Just suck back some scotch

      Delete
  31. I'm a sucker for
    late night t.v.
    and QVC
    Just Ask my poor Lover?
    Who exclaims,
    "Why,my dear Lucy,
    must YOU be every
    Salesman's wet dream?"

    Lucy from Lucy's Reality

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha I guess they see you coming
      With their sale pitch humming

      Delete
  32. Oh the horror! Oh the humanity!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh that is quite the Oh's
      But right in their flows

      Delete
  33. OMG! I have some of that stuff! What's that say about me? lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm an easy mark,
      For their ad bark?

      Delete
  34. I'd use your late night TV to take the taste of our awful late night TV, begging, ambulance chasers and lottery garbage!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds even worse
      Late night TV is such a curse

      Delete
  35. orlin N cassie...

    noe amount oh money ore tee vee watchin iz gonna lift R momz butt

    ....18 cranes...may bee....

    hope everee one haza marvelous mackerull monday !!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL she may sit on you for that
      Better run and scat

      Delete
  36. The slap chop! Richard Simmons! Snuggies for dogs... LOLOL!!!

    Great stuff here~

    I'm feeling the need for a butt-lift. :D <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well it it works
      You can do your own infomercial stating all the perks

      Delete
  37. Some of those are downright terrifying. LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL that they are
      Need to be run down with a car

      Delete
  38. That was hysterical. I am still laughing. You totally OWN late night TV! <--meant as a compliment!!!

    jean xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well as long as I can own it
      I'm okay with being a late night hit

      Delete
  39. From someone who has insomnia i can say i tend to avoid t.v, i don't even have one now, or at least i don't pay the licence any more. Some of those ads look suspiciously fake, but who can tell in the irony free zone of infotainment.
    I think the actor washing his face is Bryan Cranston though and that is a publicity shot for Breaking Bad, though after watching all those ads i think i would be reaching for the meth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah breaking bad
      Is the one shown off at my pad
      The rest are infomercial crap
      That needs to take a nap
      And most prob are fake
      And need to be pitched into a lake

      Delete
  40. Hi there Pat!
    You've been busy where you're at!
    So much output prolific
    on various topics so specific!
    At least I haven't been yexing ~
    trying to get to Bora Bora is so vexing.
    Your zombies had me hiding my eyes,
    and the pesticide vat I despised!
    Your runs on jokes, work, and spam,
    so fun ~ you're such a rhyming ham!
    And the Hoff has sunk so low,
    how much lower can he go?
    I miss the Snapper of days ago
    on my favorite Y&R show.
    You make the case
    for going to bed early at my place.
    I'm under the Hawaiian sun
    for the Kindness Blog fun ~
    but maybe I'll get something together
    before I leave for balmy weather.
    Thanks for letting me know about this!
    Random acts of kindness bring bliss!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn you went through them all
      Here at my hall
      I guess the zombies got nothing on you
      And Bora Bora never came due
      But at least you got to see the Hoff
      So no one will scoff
      And Hawaiian you say
      Take me too to such a bay haha

      Delete
  41. Darn it, sorry I am so late
    you use my idea and I'm almost last at the gate
    I didn't have computer on all day
    as I took it into the Mac store today
    and didn't get it back until tonight
    and I find your blog a welcome site!
    Late night I always see Viagara
    for all the men who are still awake
    contemplating what to do with their time
    or I see gizmos that help someone cook
    and usually they offer two for the price of one
    but of course you pay shipping and handling
    which is more expensive than the sun
    or sometimes I see how to get rich
    just take this man's course he will tell you
    as he becomes rich from your money too
    Late night television really is a zoo
    thanks for the shout out...sorry I am late
    it really is rare at my gate!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah all those things I have seen
      Here at my canteen
      Buy it get it free
      Suck the shipping and handling away with glee
      As up your bill will go
      And the crap will flow
      Late at my gate
      Not a normal fate
      But with computer woes
      Away times flows

      Delete
    2. Time without computer is heck
      Makes me want to wring someone's neck.
      Smiles all around.....

      Delete
    3. haha mine is on the way out
      If it goes, I'll surely pout

      Delete
  42. You know you're a has been when you star on a As Seen On TV ad. Oh, the shame!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha but some money still comes due
      To pay for their plastic crap in view

      Delete
  43. Thanks to late night ads, we know
    All about buying the genuinely faux...
    Plus the truly fake, and the latest fad,
    But frankly, I'd rather go to bed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah bed sounds the place to be
      Wish it were that easy

      Delete
  44. Pat, you watch some, er, interesting TV. We wonder what's on your YouTube history! MOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha could be a scare
      As some of it is rare

      Delete
  45. I turn off the TV after eleven,
    and pull out the vids, a small piece of heaven.
    I can't stand the lies, the cheats, and the butts,
    I detest infomercials, truly hate their guts.

    VR Barkowski

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah best way to be
      As the crap flows with glee
      As they try to sell sell sell
      They can go to hell

      Delete
  46. I am so happy I have DVR. I record most of my shows and watch them later and fast forward through all commercials and tv infomercials.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is great to do
      For then no crap comes into view

      Delete
  47. Psh, staying up late to watch TV is for old people. Us younguns go on the internet all night long. Here, the porn is free.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But comes with a virus or two as well
      But yeah free is swell

      Delete
  48. Netflix thankfully avoids this crap

    ReplyDelete
  49. So you're into big butts, too?
    I would never've guessed just looking at you.
    Well, if you've got some space left in a little nook,
    You could buy yourself that Big Butt Book.
    haha
    Just don't ask Mr T.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha That book may take up a lot of room
      I'd rather whack real big butts with a broom

      Delete
    2. I've got it right here
      My brother thought I'd appreciate a bit of rear
      But I was brave, show him no fear
      I opened it and I said, 'O Dear.'

      Delete
    3. haha at least you can still see
      And your eyes didn't want to flee

      Delete
    4. Some butts were fun
      Buttttt
      Some made me run.

      Delete
    5. At least exercise came due
      For little blue you

      Delete
  50. You'll see in my reply,
    that thankfully, I have no TV
    (never mind why).
    One of the many reasons,
    I skip through the seasons,
    never watching the Kardashians
    and the rest of the world's fashions,
    but can you really blame me?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope not at all
      Crap is on the tv wall
      Avoid it most days
      Nothing but an ad maze

      Delete
  51. Sorry, late for the show
    so, were talking late night TV
    gee, it seems kinda slow
    but, I guess if you want
    your butt to grow it's the
    place to go..
    rather odd this TV Land
    I think I'd rather drift to dream land
    there is so much there to explore
    I can hunt for my phantom in the night
    he always makes me feel all right
    much better than those TV guys
    perhaps, grabbing a book on the nook
    would be a better choice..

    Always an adventure within your walls..


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I agree
      Rather pick a flea
      Then watch this crap
      From each silly sap
      Don't even have cable
      So I write my own fable

      Delete
    2. You don't even have cable..too funny
      I guess that is why you get more crap
      better to write your own fable..

      smiling...

      Delete
    3. haha get more crap in many a way
      As I fable along at my bay

      Delete
    4. Something tells me you do a lot of writing
      in those after midnight hours, when the worlds asleep
      your minds ticking, ticking, ticking
      waiting for that alarm to ring in an idea..

      Perhaps, you should do something about music I wonder
      what songs you would pick on..

      ok, you know I am having fun..

      Delete
    5. Oh I have done a music post or three
      Never picked on any
      That I could do though
      One day soon at my show

      Used to be that way
      When I could actually write all night and day
      But with the crap arm
      I go to bed before the alarm
      Yet always ticking away
      Still night and day

      Delete
  52. Best to go outside and stare up at the moon
    Than stay and watch these numb skulls - crazy dorky loons!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is very true
      Away I'll go to watch the moon's view

      Delete