Sunday, May 5, 2013

I Can Do It Too You Stupid Robot You!

Seems the spammers are out in full force lately at my sea. Thankfully blogger is good for something and catches them for me. Wow, blogger did no commit a sin and actually got a win. Better go mark that down somewhere. I will put it at the bottom of the litterbox in my lair. Anyway, the cat wants to spam away. You heard that right, time for a spam display.

Hello,
Would you like some jello?
It is very juicy and good for you.
I swear what I'm saying is true.

There are things in it,
The will help "you know" grow a bit.
I'm a good God fearing cat.
So I will keep such terms under my hat.

I would also like to offer you,
Something that may seem to good to be true.
But just keep reading until the end,
And I guarantee you will be around the bend.

You will be so happy with what I will give out,
That you will truly want to shout.
But I ask you keep this between us,
And not tell your neighbor, Gus.

Because if too many people know,
This wonderful trick won't go.
It has to be only spread to a few,
And you are so lucky I picked you.

Now here is the deal,
I know it will seem unreal.
But don't stop reading just yet.
This is a very safe bet.

Heck, I'm a God loving cat,
So I can't even bet at my mat.
This is 100% guaranteed to work,
And leave you with a smirk.

For just a little advice,
And at no additional price,
I am willing to share with you,
My secret to making all your dreams come true.

All you have to do,
Is get your check book in view.
And send me a blank one,
So I have your info and all will be done.

Now don't write on it.
For then it won't work one bit.
Just send one my way,
And I'll take your info and add it to my display.

Then you will be entered into my system of money,
That will get you so much you'll move somewhere sunny.
That is all it takes,
I know you must have the shakes.

So send your check to,
Three miles west, two miles east and around the golden loo.
Then I'll pick it up and get things ready.
The cash will then flow in steady.

Thank you for your time,
I hope you join me and stop working for every dime.
Oh and enjoy that jello too,
That was made especially for you.

Damn, if the cat had no morals and was a sleazy slimeball scum sucker, saying that three times fast makes your lips pucker. I could really give crime a go. But that would never be done at my show. Just showing that spam should be crushed into toe jam for all it is is trash. I hope those spammers get a bad rash. Somewhere where it will cause them quite the amount of sass. That would be quite enjoyable to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

105 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. and spelled 'first' right, too!
      Waffles is on the ball, it's true!
      haha.

      Delete
    2. Yeah no wrong spelling today
      Must have copy and pasted it in at my bay lol

      Delete
  2. After reading on in this Pat I'm not sure if I would like to accept that jello or not haha. There's something dodgy about this scheme that makes me want to run and scream. Great writing Cat, I get where you're coming from and that's that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha don't have room for jello?
      But things were so nice and mellow

      Delete
  3. Damn, spammers, never cross that cat!/It will have you for breakfast, lunch and then as a snack! :-)

    Nicely done me ol' fella.

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Save on a meal or three
      At my sea easily

      Delete
  4. You do have a rhyming ass :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. (Now it feels like I wrote bullshit. I meant you are a rhyming person. Please try not to take this the wrong way.)

      Delete
    2. haha fine by me
      I rhyme may ass off with glee

      Delete
  5. You are right on with this one.
    Spammers out in the sun.
    With info like this you will surely
    keep them well on the run!
    They will definitely get no blank check
    and I hope they are raided by high tech
    And authorities breathe down their neck
    for all their useless dreck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah and in the slammer they go
      With not a shred of dough
      Only having to cope
      With not dropping the soap

      Delete
  6. You're perfect with your spam,
    The spammers will try all
    They take others to be dumb
    But a few are still gullible

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah some still fall for it
      So they keep up their bit
      And around they come
      With their same old hum

      Delete
  7. How did you know my neighbor is Gus?
    He drives a bus!
    He has a face full of pus!
    He fills me with disgust!
    His hair is always a muss!
    The bus is beginning to rust!
    For him I feel zero lust!
    This rhyme is going to bust!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow he must be bad
      At your pad
      For you to not find him rad
      Then again a cyclops was last years fad

      Delete
  8. Super close finish for your #1 and #2 today. I cannot say the same for my horse in the KD last night. -_-

    I have a Yahoo e-mail that's ridiculous for spam. I've even seen e-mails sent to me from me, that clearly I did not send.

    Blogger does do a great job of catching the blog spam.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No luck with the races
      Must have put some frowns on faces
      Yeah I saw those emails too
      They think they are slick at their zoo

      Delete
  9. If it sounds too good to be true, it is. The only one getting rich is the spammer.
    And I bet the Jello has shredded carrots in it. Vegetables in Jello is disgusting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blah to that
      Hate jello at my mat
      But veggies with it
      That has to taste even more like shit

      Delete
  10. haha, if you wrote spam they might actually get hits,
    on that thing to improve the size of your bits
    that and i like jello, so hello
    sign me up...dont believe that bluff...
    i can make false promises too
    like paying you....lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You never know
      Could draw the spammers to my show
      And nice with the pay
      I won't sit and wait for such a day

      Delete
  11. Spammers are slime
    To commit such a crime
    But victims are greedy
    Not really needy
    To fall for a trick
    From one who is slick

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah greed wins out
      Then they pout
      About how they lost
      Seeing the true cost

      Delete
  12. A world without spam? So ready I am!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Be so nice I say
      At each and every bay

      Delete
  13. i'd like some green jello please, i have sent my check did you get it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not yet
      I may never and that is a safe bet

      Delete
  14. Go ahead, prove you're not a robot
    Let's see what you got
    I might be an android
    Somewhat paranoid
    Or I might be a scam
    Spam I Am...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Geez a ton you are
      Near and far
      As you scam robots with spam
      The turn them to toe jam

      Delete
  15. Sorry you're getting SPAM in comments. But good show, that blogger is catching 'em for you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah blogger makes them go away
      Haven't had any in months though at my bay

      Delete
  16. The State Food of Utah, green jell-o I hear,
    At least you know it won't be served with any beer.
    Spammers should hide under a rock
    Or in their nose give them a sock.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And in the sock
      Put a rock
      That would be grand
      To rid them from the land

      Delete
  17. We are lucky, not too trouble from spammers, knock on wood! We hate that stupid word verification thingy even worse. 5 characters should be good enough to weed out spam, but Google feels 20-30 characters and 2 words is necessary. More is better? Oh yes, and don't forget to make it impossible to read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh that WV thing is a pain in the ass
      I give that lots of sass
      No need for such crap
      Needs to take a dirt nap

      Delete
  18. I suppose many still fall for the slime
    or the spammers wouldn't waste their time!
    Still hard to believe people would write a check
    to some unknown person down on their luck...
    stuck at the airport and their wallet stolen
    and asking you to help, so emboldened.
    lol...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that they surely do
      Actually seen the airport on recently at my zoo
      Used a fake email claiming to be people I know
      Whining how they are stranded at some show
      Pffft to that
      But then I ay have to be a spamming cat
      With another 1500 vet bill at my sea
      Either need to scam or grow a money tree

      Delete
    2. wtd?
      what happened to a cat at your sea?

      Delete
    3. Yep after Cassie and I
      Broke under our sky
      Time for the cat
      To visit the vet mat
      And since it was the weekend
      Had to go around the emergency clinic bend
      Which costs more too
      My poor credit card is through lol

      Delete
    4. Ugh! That is too bad
      and makes your bank account sad.
      ha. Oh dear.
      that is bad, I fear! :(

      Delete
    5. haha no bank account is had
      Any longer at my pad
      So credit it will go
      And stay there forever at my show

      Delete
    6. You've turned into a plastic man
      ain't that grand!
      So, is Cassie ok now?
      Hope she didn't swallow a cow!

      Delete
    7. Cassie is doing fine
      Knock on wood for that feline
      One can't eat and one can't pee
      Still need a money tree haha

      Delete
    8. Aw, I didn't get that it was Orlin this time.
      Guess he isn't feeling so sublime.
      Did he get to come home with you
      or is he still at the vet clinic zoo?
      If I see the money tree,
      I will certainly share with thee!
      ha.

      Delete
    9. Nope, still at the vet
      Tomorrow night coming home is a safe bet
      Crystals in his pee
      Caused him to cause me a spending spree
      And just looking at all the food
      Disgusting the crap they put in that as there is a recall on the so called good stuff as it is crude

      Delete
    10. Poor kitty
      I'm sure he's not feeling witty.
      Or maybe he's rhyming
      and doing some chiming.
      Entertaining the others there
      with a hiss and a stare.
      haha.

      Delete
    11. Oh he is hissing away
      Did that surely at their bay
      And let the poop fly
      When grabbed by the vet guy
      Guess he had worms too
      Nasty as can be at my zoo
      Food did it I think as well
      All the friggin nasty crap in cat food is disgusting I must tell
      No wonder so many ailments surround
      Like $4000 bucks on cats in 7 months have been spent at my ground haha

      Delete
    12. We haven't had a case of worms for a while
      and yes, they are vile.
      Bought the pills online pretty cheap
      and keep them on hand for when the next ones creep.
      haha. Just put him on a diet of birds and mice.
      I'm sure he will think it's rather nice!
      :)

      Delete
    13. Yeah nasty arse things
      With their wormy rings
      That diet is the best
      Sadly they can't go outside like many of the rest

      Delete
    14. I'm sure Shadow would send a treat or two
      in the mail to all of you!
      hahaha. Open with care!
      It will smell in the fresh air!
      lol...

      Delete
    15. Yeah stink it would
      Bet they'd still chow down at our hood

      Delete
  19. Green eggs and spam,
    I sure don't need!
    And on those blank checks
    the vultures,do feed!
    I get those "yahoo spams"
    to make "body parts" grow,
    What good they'll do me
    I really don't know!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha maybe for a friend
      You can help a growing trend
      It's a sinch
      Just eat rat poo and grow an inch
      That is what is in those pills
      Could cause ills

      Delete
  20. I have a lot spammer too and hate them!! and think you are soooo popular for this has a lot of these spams!:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes popularity brings them more
      As they even come back for an encore

      Delete
  21. Spam with ham,
    spam with toast,
    I like my spam
    with cheese the most.

    It goes with eggs
    and potato's too
    a few green peppers
    makes a mighty fine do.

    Not this kind
    of spam you say
    today at your
    wonderfully pleasant
    spectacular bay.

    The way you write
    is particularly cool
    and my followers
    would find you
    oh so cool.

    So follow the
    link and you
    will find some
    helpful tips
    oh quite divine.

    Your blog will
    grow to amazing
    heights and only
    for a very small price

    www.i'malyingtheif.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry a can't
      Need to fed an ailing aunt
      But if you give
      A little to help her live
      I'll give you triple next week
      Just right now my wallet sprung a leak
      It was then stolen by a guy
      Oh me oh my
      Won't you help me out?
      I'll give you a down payment in trout? lol

      Delete
    2. Of trouble and woes
      you do not know
      a transplant I need
      or my liver will blow.

      So give me
      some cash to
      put in my stash
      and luck to
      you will surely come.

      Delete
    3. Just send me some dough
      And I'll fix your liver at your show
      I have a 3D printer after all
      I can make you a new liver at my hall
      And with it you will never need
      To even visit a doctors feed
      Just pop it in yourself
      I'll even send you an extra to put on your shelf

      Delete
    4. I have no dollar
      will a dime do,
      or a penny to put
      in your shoe?

      Oh dear no pennies
      in your land you say
      for in Canada, they've
      all gone away.

      Can't wait for tomorrow Cat. It's almost here!!

      Delete
    5. Yeah a penny will do fine
      If you double it every day for the feline

      Delete
  22. Seriously? A spam guy tried to con you into giving him a blank check? Unbelievable!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they try
      But I'd rather poke them in the eye

      Delete
  23. Allo, I am the Prince of Nigeria. Would please you send me all credit card #'s to help me. I pay you back when back on throne. Make you Court Cat, you like?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes I like
      I won't tell you to take a hike
      If you know king Abubu too
      That will seal the deal at your zoo

      Delete
  24. Blogger knows
    The Cat will bite
    Right in their zombie toes.
    Yuk!
    No crime at his shows?
    What the ...?
    So who made those rhymes...
    Donald Duck?




    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Zombie toes
      Even causes the cat woes
      Will not bite
      Daffy Duck can bring that fetish to light

      Delete
    2. Hahahaha By the way, that's quite a story about that scammer, Pat.

      Delete
    3. haha a story I can tell
      Then damn the spammer to hell

      Delete
    4. That would be swell
      As hell is where he'll dwell

      Delete
  25. Let's scam spammers
    with the spam:
    send the telegram
    to get parcel with words:
    'Open this to claim
    the rewards',
    and then-
    when they open it -
    the slimy jello
    will explodes
    on them...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha that would be grand
      Then they'd stink across the land

      Delete
  26. Too many spammers at my sea too

    had to turn off anon comments come due.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep did that my way
      And the spammers left my bay

      Delete
  27. Found your page through a friend of mine,
    I checked it out, "It's Rhyme Time".

    You may know her, she gave me the link,
    Robyn Engel, I think.

    "Life by Chocolate" is her blog,
    I have to find it, it's in my log…

    But thanks to you,
    I have a whole new view,
    of what people can do,
    when they're creative too!

    Toodle-oo!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn look at you go
      With the flow
      Robyn is sure rockin
      Glad you sent you a knockin
      And that you could have a new view
      There at your zoo

      Delete
  28. spam spam spam
    damn damn damn
    flim flam jam
    needs to go over the dam!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That it does
      Let the damn drown its buzz

      Delete
  29. haha, tell me about it! So much more spam these days. Drives me nuts. At least your "spamming" was done in a rhyme, more tolerable that way!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha a rhyming spammer
      Might make on less likely to hit me with a hammer

      Delete
  30. Block it or delete it I do when in view

    ReplyDelete
  31. Replies
    1. That could be arranged too
      But I'd need two blank checks from you haha

      Delete
  32. Replies
    1. Just wait
      Soon enough spam you will hate

      Delete
  33. There's always room for jello!! You are probably to young to remember that comercial.

    I get a lot of spammers and it is horrible. It is getting where you can hardly tell they are spammers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they are getting better at it
      But are still full of shit lol

      Delete
  34. You know what gave me a lot of cheer?
    That day last week when you replied to the spammer's comment on here HAHA.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahaha that was fun to do
      As he tried to spam my zoo

      Delete
  35. Yeah spammers are so annoying
    Always trying to sell something
    Block them, remove, delete today
    Is the way to go at everyone's bay :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep the way to be
      When they try and spam your sea

      Delete
  36. Spammers, they make me so mad
    Hogging up my time is so sad
    Would just love to spam them back
    With a computer self-destruct attack

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PS: Glad Orlin will be okay
      and hopefully home again today

      Delete
    2. Yeah that would be grand
      Making their computer go boom across the land

      He sure is not happy at all
      But should be home tonight at my hall

      Delete
  37. I turned off the anonymous comments and those bastards still come spamming away. I wish I had that much time to piss others off all day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they sure have time on their hands
      Why waste their spamming glands

      Delete
  38. I remember reading once that a literary group in America sent a prize to Nigeria for being the worlds greatest storytellers because of all the princes who were in temporary financial trouble and just needed a small loan from the owner of the gmail they were spamming.Though i guess back then it was email.

    I read something ridiculous like half of internet traffic is actually spam now. Maybe that is what the internet will develop in to, one trillion spammers all trying to convince the other to buy their crap.
    Jello is jelly, but in England confusingly jelly means being jelous now.
    I can't keep up with new words, im too old.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Geez words surely abound
      At your ground
      As new meanings fly
      And I don't doubt half the internet is spam under every sky

      Delete