Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Some Not So Wise dVerse Cries!

Ever hear a dVerse tale that you believed at your sea? Only to later find out it is a fallacy. While we have all been there and then we grow up, sorta, and become aware. So lets see what we can do as the so called wise speaks to you.

Old wives tales make a sound,
Bringing belief to your ground.
Whoops, you won't turn into a hound,
If you visit the pound.

Inhaling the breath of a horse,
Can cure whooping cough without remorse.
Damn, even if it is rank?
I bet it works to stick your head in a tank.

If cows are lying down,
It will rain in your town.
My what those reguritating grass chewers can do.
But then again few meteorologists really have a clue.

If you sit to close to the TV,
You will go blind at your sea.
Pfffft to that,
I'd surely be blind as a bat.

A howling mutt,
Means someone nearby is going to kick the bucket at their hut.
Wow, that is sure a neat one.
Everyone must be dying soon the way they let their mouth run.

You will have one child,
For every ribbon you break at your wedding shower as you go wild.
Damn, I sure hope the ribbons break at a low dose,
Or you may turn out to be as big as a house.

Don't whistle in the house on any day,
Or the devil will come to play.
My he must have great hearing.
Maybe he just wants to come for cheering?

Hold your breath when a cementary you pass,
Or a ghost will latch to your ass.
Coming home with you too.
I guess they liked being breathed on by you.

Washing a persons clothes on new year's day,
Means death will come to play.
As some time that year,
They will die I fear.

You get warts from kissing a toad.
And why on a toad would you want to unload?
The goat would not have you?
My that must make you blue.

And of course there are a ton,
That can be given a run.
Thankfully I'm snip snip,
So I won't go blind or trip.

Those wives really must have had fun, making them up under their sun. Gossiping humans can create fake stuff with ease. If you scratch your nose you'll get fleas. See I can also do it at my grass with no wives near my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

103 comments:

  1. Some Old Wives' tales
    Or is it superstitions
    Pass a cemetery don't inhale
    Whistling in the house forbidden
    Lots of similarity
    Also in our society
    Disregard them at your own peril
    Some are fooled and some get a thrill

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah a thrill could sure be had
      At each pad
      As they are a fad
      Ignoring them won't drive you mad

      Delete
  2. I've heard two of them, the graveyard & the toad. When mom's have a first baby there's a whole slew of new ones that get thrown at you in the name of sound advice (some as ridiculous as inhaling the breath of a horse (lol to that one, and ew).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah ridiculous and nasty many are
      Near and far
      Who ever thought them up most have had lots of time
      To think up a chime

      Delete
  3. oh snap i need to stop whistling....
    and if i would have held my breath by the cemetary
    i would be dead, as i grew up with one by the house like a shed
    ha...imagine breaking about twelve ribbons,
    you'd have nightmare of those little ones
    bounding around like a bunch of gibbons...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah 12 ribbons would be scary indeed
      Might not want to do the deed
      If that many are around your feed
      But one would have a good seed lol

      Delete
  4. My Mother used to tell us we would go blind if we sat close to the TV!! She might have been right. I don't see as well as I used to. It wouldn't be age would it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah leaning more toward age
      Reading one too many a page

      Delete
  5. you can't whistle in the house? I should tell my house mate he does it every day - wait he might be the devil himself. This explains so much!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The devil in your house
      That would sure be worse than a mouse

      Delete
  6. Ha, gotta stop that whistling in the house. Don't want to encourage the devil's visits. As for kissing toads, yikes.... Ha, I heard that about sitting close to a tv too. Undoubtedly invented by someone's parent in the stone age, but it sure has stuck like glue!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah the stone age
      Is where they were all the rage
      Now people still pass them on
      Like they think they were ever true but instead on big con

      Delete
  7. Of wives tales you have found some new
    Of things you can and cannot do
    The outcome can be good or bad
    But one could always fudge a tad
    There's one I heard my grannie told
    An itchy palm will bring you gold
    You could scratch your palm all day
    In hopes the gold will come your way

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pfft I'd scratch years if that were true
      To have some gold come due
      But that would never work
      At least they can make one smirk

      Delete
  8. WOW some of them are new to me. Being the superstitious person that I am, thanks to you, now I can't wash clothes on New Years Day. I already have to open the front door and back door simultaneously to let out the bad spirits and usher in the good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha glad I could add to your woes
      But at least you have an excuse not to watch clothes

      Delete
    2. Wash I mean
      You can not watch them too at your scene

      Delete
  9. My grandmother used to say that when her legs were in pain
    That it would mean it would surely rain
    Of course I used to laugh this off and roll my eyes
    Until it rained a heavy storm, much to my surprise :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well I guess you never know
      When rain could show
      She could feeling it coming
      As her leg pains started humming

      Delete
  10. I'm very thankful there were no ribbons at my wedding!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha don't want tons of poo machines around
      With their wailing sound

      Delete
  11. Gossip is a thing so cool,
    participate and you are a fool,
    don't gossip and you are no good,
    best to stay back in the hood :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is very true
      Ignore it at your zoo
      And off you go
      Better things to do at one show

      Delete
  12. Sitting on the wave,
    listening to tales,
    whistling with the wind -
    how nice to fling
    something heavy in -
    hear back just "pling"...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adding them all in one
      Could be an interesting run

      Delete
  13. And then there's
    the one
    'bout hair
    growing on
    your palm.

    Is that one true Cat? Well is it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not true at all
      Not even for a cat at ones hall

      Delete
  14. Life before facebook, making shit up

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That it was indeed
      Now they jut post it to their facebook feed

      Delete
  15. Wondering why there are no young wives tales
    Maybe they don't know enough to know what ails
    But gossip they do at an alarming rate
    They use the phone not the garden gate

    Don't try to cure your ills by their talk
    Else you may find yourself on a walk
    Better to look to more common sense
    Than listening to any wives and their local pretense.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm I guess the old is more
      For ancient at their shore
      As in made up long ago
      Before people had things to do at their show
      And yeah ignore them I will
      Don't want to feel ill

      Delete
  16. People who buy into them may need a life

    ReplyDelete
  17. I believed the cemetery one
    when I was young.
    So hard to hold your breath,
    afraid of death
    or worse,
    as you went under their curse.
    lol....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha if it was a long one
      Or away you had to walk or run
      Or drove passed slow
      Must have been hard at your show

      Delete
  18. is a cow lying down split milk?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm it could very well be
      But dairy is still scary

      Delete
  19. Some of these old saying are so hilarious. It makes me wonder where they even came from ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah probably the same place as many a myth I suppose
      But god only knows

      Delete
  20. Old wives tale
    they sure regale
    and maybe keep one in place
    but I don't listen to them ha ~

    Have a good day Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, ignore them too
      Here at my zoo

      Delete
  21. Never stick your face near a horses, they bite.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Will keep that in mind
      And avoid their kind

      Delete
  22. Those old wives sure could spin some yarns! With the amount of howling Schultz has done, I'm surprised there's anybody left alive in this world!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah we'd all be long dead
      As schultz howls off his head

      Delete
  23. you know...i'm kissing toads all the time...never got warts from it though...haha...smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope they are good kissers though
      Blah is all I can think at my show haha

      Delete
  24. The opening two lines is so good, the kind of thing that some rap artists would be proud to churn out with. Some nonsense spreads around so it's good that you made fun of this at your exposure ground.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah can always have fun
      Under my sun
      And I can make rappers proud
      Could draw a crowd

      Delete
  25. In Oakland town we need some cows lying down,
    Does this this old cow count?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not sure that would work
      But could make people smirk

      Delete
  26. If you break a mirror you will have 7 years bad luck? I've broken many and now I'm saying WTF? I feel sorry for those construction/remodeling people. They go in and deconstruct, breaking walls and mirrors! They must have bad luck, just look at all the money they make!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah having all that money weighing them down
      Must really make them frown
      I don't know how they handle such luck
      For the life truly has to suck

      Delete
  27. Awesome blog! I miss writing poems... You've inspired me to give some a try again.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Well, this just gives me all the more reason NOT to tell my neighbors when their dog runs away next time. They let him out at 6 am and let him bark for an hour straight. I surely feel like I am going to die with all that racket that early in the morning.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn that is a wake up call
      Worse than a rooster at your hall

      Delete
  29. HA! Tails of old wives tales! We never cry wolf, it usually turns out badly for cats,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is does indeed
      Better off letting the dog do that at any feed

      Delete
  30. Wives tales and gossip - never really connected the two together until I read your poem today, Pat. Always thought wives tales were just fun little notions, while gossip...well, gossip is just plain bad. As for inhaling horse breath, think I'll pass on that one. Blech!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The two can become one
      Making such tales come to life under any sun
      Although now people just gossip abut reality tv crap
      That is given a lap

      Delete
  31. Old wives tales or superstitions who is to say
    but, to some I say nay, but to others
    I sometimes stay away, like breaking
    a mirror can bring 7 years bad luck
    no thank you, to that I would duck
    to open an umbrella inside your house
    this is something one should never do
    especially, holding it over your head
    for I'm afraid bad luck will dwell
    if your right hand is itchy
    money is coming your way
    but, if you scratch it while it is itchy
    the money will go away...
    so everyone resist the urge
    to scratch that day...
    the cat has put some good ones
    on display..
    some of these I've never heard
    and some are quite absurd
    but, fun to read at the cat's sea
    while I sip on some ice tea..

    Have a grand day Pat and his cat..



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Where are you Pat and his cat I am worried about you today. Come out and say hey...

      Delete
    2. hahaha oh you are one of those
      Scared such things will cause woes
      Better off hating walls for stubbing toes
      Those are the real foes haha
      The rest I have done with ease
      And haven't even got fleas
      And some surely are absurd
      Today I once more flipped word the bird
      As in was off again at my bay
      So I was out and about but always come back to play

      Delete
  32. orlin N cassie... N how bout de black kitteh crossin yur path bringin nothin but bad luck.....all eye can say iz me brother in law but knot by marriage...sauce of fishbone.....

    rocked.....course he did haz sum white on him.....but ewe noe what me meenz.......

    we miss ya buddy...


    tuna ~~~~~~~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is a load of crap too
      Have three black cats at the other
      So we would be screwed
      Prob made up by a dog loving dude

      Delete
  33. Well, I'm an "old wife"
    And I say to you,
    Those old tales
    Are full of poo,
    Except in life,
    There's one that's true:

    Don't be making a funny face,
    Or it will surely freeze in place!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So is that why I look so funny?
      I guess I'll have to pay a plastic surgeon some money

      Delete
  34. When old wive's tales are told,
    It passes the time when growing old
    And you have to admit, it's much more funny
    Then making up tales of the Easter bunny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is true
      But then an easter bunny tale can come about at my zoo
      That can be fun
      Which I have given a run

      Delete
  35. DEar Pat, This stanza was my favorite:
    "If cows are lying down,
    It will rain in your town.
    My what those reguritating grass chewers can do.
    But then again few meteorologists really have a clue."

    I liked it best because it does seem to me that cows probably can tell the weather better than the trained meteorologists with their charts and swirls. Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah they never get it right
      Cows could do better day and night

      Delete
  36. Leaving comments in poetry
    Evidently will be the death of me
    Old wives's tales
    Eating snails
    If you mention sea
    In your poetry
    A cat will cross your path
    And cause your wrath...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sea I mention a time or ten
      Here at my den
      So I'd have 1000 cats or so
      If that were true at my show

      Delete
  37. Wow, not only does you post rhyme, but so do all of your comments! I'm not very good with poetry. :(

    If I had more time,
    I'd learn to rhyme.

    See what I mean?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I'm jut stuck in a rut
      A rhyming nut
      At least you got one
      Under my sun

      Delete
  38. Hmm, how about a rhyme about opening umbrellas inside?

    ReplyDelete
  39. I open my umbrella at work all the time
    To drip dry and have felt no crime
    I walk under ladders when I can't get around
    With no bad luck to be found
    I had a black cat for many years
    Crossed my path endlessly with no fears
    But at the first sign of a winter cold
    Gargling with salt 'til the day I grow old
    And Vicks on my feet I often use
    It's worked so far, just can't lose
    But that crazy one my mom used to say
    All the time at my younger bay
    When someone's nose itches
    And the hole in the britches...
    Who was the one checking???????????

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha the underwear inspector I suppose
      Hole searching he or she goes
      And yeah smashed mirrors and walked under ladders too
      Pfft to that so called mumbo jumbo at my zoo

      Delete
  40. Oh sure, NOW you tell me the advice about kissing toads. But in my defense, I thought it was a frog. :(

    ReplyDelete
  41. Fun..I know a people that believe these things :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah know a few too
      Crazy at their zoo

      Delete
  42. Step on a crack
    Break your mother's back!
    If this one were really true
    Mothers wouldn't need their shoes!


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that would rhymes though
      So fun to say at ones show

      Delete
  43. Delightful...
    I love old wives tales...and sailor's and farmer's (my father the farm boy would predict the rain by the cows laying down... but how would the cows get to shelter. There were starving children in China...how my eating would help them I couldn't figure out...
    and
    I can remember when I was angry to be careful not to step on the cracks...I told myself it wasn't true, but couldn't be too careful.

    Thanks,
    Peace,
    Siggi

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah some of them sure make you think
      What the hell is the link

      Delete
  44. I think it's much wiser to get vaccinated against whooping cough so you'd never know what horse breath smells like!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Yeah... I think I'll stick with modern medicine.

    Sadly though, I wouldn't doubt it if people actually still believed in and tried these ridiculous treatments.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I don't doubt it at all
      At any hall

      Delete
  46. It's just my luck,
    On thing rhyming thing you got me stuck,
    Over on my blog I've been having a rhyming session,
    So I thought I'd give your blog a BIG mention,
    I'm moving on from this game soon,
    Or cows just might jump over the moon....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha once you go rhyme
      You hate a mime
      Will have a look
      At your nook

      Delete
  47. So many of these old wives' tales make me want to go kiss some animals! (Because I love them, not in a weird way!). So I do like that. And I've never washed clothes on New Year's Day, I'm always face planted on a couch somewhere.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good that it is not in a weird way
      And there you go, no fear of the clothes one at your bay

      Delete
  48. lol at the toad. It's funny some of the superstitions that came about.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah who knows where they come from
      But someone had to first give them a hum

      Delete
  49. Oral tales and superstitions leave us feeling suspicious
    But today we have Snopes and It's Rhyme Time to ease our mind :)

    Lucy from Lucy's Reality

    ReplyDelete