Saturday, June 8, 2013

You Suck, But Good Luck!

So the other day, for an early gift of Easter/Pat's birthday months ago at my bay, a pack of scratch tickets came with the money on display. I mean I guess you never know so may as well give them a go. But what a load of crap they are. Better luck convincing a drunk to leave a bar.

$100,000 you can win.
Who cares if gambling is a sin.
Grab a pack and scratch away,
Wasting a few minutes of your day.

Look, a winner in every pack.
That has to make you want to go on the scratch attack.
Simply pull out a penny and have fun,
You do know here in Canada the penny is done?

So better save one for luck.
Oh look, you won a whole buck.
We just made nine bucks off you.
But a winner still came due.

Don't spend it all in one spot,
Put it back in the pot.
We may as well suck that back too,
But you could still win money, it's true.

Oops, lost once more.
I guess you could try another at your shore.
Oh just one word away,
From two whole dollars at your bay.

Damn, if only that number was there,
Could fling your hands in the air,
And shout bingo!
Too bad, so sad, gotta go.

Follow the pretty arrow,
Looking for the $100,000 show.
Damn, turned just in time,
These things are a crime.

Get three of a kind.
Easy for even those with brains in their behind.
Oops, none of them match,
Not even if you cheat and mix some from your batch.

But one in three tickets win.
So it's not a sin,
We give back too,
Helping all by sucking money from you.

Look a new jackpot with big chances,
That is getting many glances.
You better join in,
For you just might win.

Pfft is what I will say to such crap at my bay. Of course free I will scratch and find the whole $1 win out of the batch. That will surely make me smile. I mean you can stretch a $1 a mile. Might get a gummi bear or even three. My that has to impress thee. But at least it was shown off by a pretty lass. Pffft that still does not impress my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

96 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Back on top
      Making waffles a flop

      Delete
    2. Hank is back with a bang, beating him will be my new "thang"

      Delete
    3. Have to be fast
      To make Hank a thing of the past

      Delete
  2. I remember you briefly saying before Pat that you thought scratch cards were a waste of time and you're right especially when expanded on in here. When there's only one jackpot prize in an entire country your odds are terrible and people should realise that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah only way to get that one
      Is to work with them and rig it so you know where to find the winner that was spun

      Delete
  3. haha...i have only ever played when they were given to me at my bay, and only ever played lotto like twice, lost all the times, its not nice...my father in law plays them all and swears he's broke even, dont knot that i believe that rave'n

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah breaking even isn't ever
      Going to be an endeavor
      But as long as one doesn't lose their clothes
      Or get addiction woes
      Then it can be okay
      Still prob never going to win at ones bay

      Delete
  4. Simple in fact it's too easy
    But for others to make money
    It's a hoodwink
    One will never win
    Fraudsters laughing gleefully

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah they are the winners out of it
      While the rest get more broke at their pit

      Delete
  5. I hardly ever buy the scratch tickets. $1 is the most I have ever won, but my Hubs Uncle won $5,000. Who knows how much he spent to get that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah in the end prob spent double that
      To get it at his mat

      Delete
  6. If it's too good to be true, it usually is. I live in Las Vegas and I don't even gamble. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good way to be
      As that is rigged up the gazoo at your sea

      Delete
  7. Scratch away
    As you dream away
    Then you bitch away
    As you throw your cash away

    Lucy from Lucy's Reality

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lots of away's today
      I'll now go away haha

      Delete
  8. Lottery tickets and the like are such a waste. Nothing worse than getting behind someone at the store buying those tickets either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is such a pain in the butt
      Then you get the superstitious ones who may be worse at their hut

      Delete
  9. Replies
    1. that would be flash,
      then dash.
      haha.

      Delete
    2. haha depends on who you are flashing
      As maybe you want to be umm clashing

      Delete
  10. Some things I don't care to get involved in. Gambling is one of those things! Smiles.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah a good way to be
      But if done right one can win some money

      Delete
  11. It was free
    You didn't go on a spree
    But never will you
    Join the queue
    Or get in line
    Better go out and dine
    Wat a waste of time
    I can't figure the end to this bad rhyme

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well at least there was an end
      And yeah my money I will never send
      To those greedy turds
      Rather feed it to the birds

      Delete
  12. I loved the winner in every pack things. Especailly soda contests.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am married to a guy who loves the possible. It's a good match because I, although a dreamer too, never expect to win anything!
    Thaks for the visit about my dog, Pat. Did I ever tell you how great I think you are? I mean out of a hundred? You are a HUNDRED and WON!
    jean

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well it is possible indeed
      And i can see that at ones feed
      But probable not a chance
      A hundred and won makes me prance

      Delete
  14. They do say you've got to be in it to win it! Which means I really will not ever win it, 'cause I never remember to be in it! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah those who say that
      Go broke fast at their mat

      Delete
  15. To win the show
    What a glow
    Adrenalin's the name of the game

    It ain't the money
    So buy a honey
    But the adrenalin won't feel the same

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You telling me to buy a hooker?
      I hope she's a looker
      And no disease
      Already have fleas haha

      Delete
    2. NO.....Jez Say'n
      The thrill of winning a jackpot
      Will be an immense lot
      Compared to buying a hooker
      You'll just be snooker

      Delete
    3. haha name calling too
      How rude of zoo hahaha

      Delete
  16. If there a match
    with gambling mood-
    we could be stretch
    the budged, food
    to fetch
    the winning ticket...,
    scratch...,
    and get
    desired
    $ badge...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yet the desire
      that fuels the fire
      Quickly gets burned out
      And away they shout

      Delete
  17. I only got one of that,
    and it was free so what
    I didn't win anything,
    and that was the last,
    even if not a blast ~

    Happy weekend Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah free is okay
      Scratch away
      But in the end
      No money one should spend

      Delete
  18. They make a million of those useless ones. The odds are just not in your favor.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Sometimes those winner things are really just wieners!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmmm do they have a first name?
      To their fame

      Delete
  20. I'm usually the one stuck behind the man or woman buying scratch tickets. You know, the one who plays every day, but still can't figure out which ones he's gonna buy out of the 47 offered...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had to serve those nuts years ago
      At my former work show
      Had some that were so pysch-ly endowed
      They stood out from the crowd
      They went three over and four up
      That was the winner, yep dumber than a pup

      Delete
  21. Better to scratch where there's an itch,
    at least you get something useful from it!
    Scratching away because of a "pitch"
    makes me think that your brain is loosely knit!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not your brain Pat!
      It's where it's at...lol!!!

      Delete
    2. LOL i got what you meant
      And will not get bent
      Just don't scratch an itch too much
      Could burn and such

      Delete
  22. my dad played lotto all his life...always the same 6 numbers..and that's why he said he cannot stop cause if they would win and he hadn't played, it would kill him...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah i can see that I suppose
      As that would suck and curl ones toes

      Delete
  23. Best of luck,
    Cluck, cluck, cluck.
    Not the way to make a buck,
    Better off driving a pizza truck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least there you get a tip
      and can give people some lip

      Delete
  24. Hi! Pat Hatt, Miss Priss, and The Cat...
    Scratch Scratch Scratch here at your mat...

    "Simply pull out a penny and have fun,
    You do know here in Canada the penny is done?"


    Oh ! yes, this I knew and if your readers follow this link Here---> Canadian Penny they can read about it too ! Boo hoo !

    By the way, playing the lottery is never on my mind... Because I think playing the lottery is a waste Of time... Therefore, that is something that I would never do because I don't want my bank account wiped out... too !...heh! heh!

    Thanks, for caring and sharing !
    deedee :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. First one went to spam
      Now back with a bam

      Delete
  25. I never buy any ticket and never think in that maybe some day come and angel and say me :for you gloria!:)
    hahaha!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow you are blessed with an angel of the lottery?
      if you win and give me some , I'll unbury thee haha

      Delete
  26. Last week, Taylor won $5 twice
    so he thinks they are nice!
    Maybe you forgot to cross your fingers and toes
    and the crappy cards caused you woes?
    I've only played twice ever
    but won $15 in my endeavors.
    Still not the type to try all the time.
    If you want money, you have to earn it is my chime!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good chime indeed
      I did win $50 off one at my feed
      The bought another and won $20 from that
      Won another $50 and was done by the cat
      And i got the first free
      So works for me

      Delete
  27. Hi! Pat Hatt, Miss Priss, and The Cat...
    Scratch, scratch, scratch here at your mat...

    "Simply pull out a penny and have fun,
    You do know here in Canada the penny is done?"


    Oh! yes, this I knew and if your readers, follow this link here---> The Canadian Penny they can read about it too!...boo! hoo!

    By the way, playing the lottery is never on my mind...Because I feel that it's a waste Of time.

    I must admit that is something that I would never do...Because it will wipe out my bank account too!
    Thank, for caring and sharing too !
    deedee :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah i f you are going to gamble
      May as well not ramble
      And skip the lottery crap
      Go to a casino and get screwed over face to face at your map

      Delete
  28. Always a message at your sea
    and this is a good for many to see
    I think these scratch off our addictive
    to some..and counterproductive...
    this is how it's done you pay $10
    and then you win $1..how is that a win
    here where I live it was started to raise
    money for schools & they make tons
    off this scam but, yet they want to
    increase taxes because they chewed
    up the winnings on their own business
    so tell me what went wrong..

    I like the way you make a stand
    bringing these messages to light
    and you deserve to win a grand..
    now, we just need a plan (lol)
    to make that 100,000 grand

    ps - forget about those other plans of yours (lol)

    Have a great day at your bay...and please stay away from
    the hay..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The hay is fun
      You need to make that be done
      Go for a stroll
      The stop drop and roll
      And yeah one big scam
      Filled with toe jam
      But people fall for their trick
      As they are rather slick
      100,000 grand for little old me
      Would be grand at my sea
      But unless I go with my plan
      Or find it in a trash can
      Fat chance
      Is my stance haha

      Delete
  29. [I'm out Of rhyming mode...My original comment just disappeared...Because I was signed into 2 separate accounts I fear???...I must admit that it's not always nice to repeat the same comment... twice!]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well there is one there
      For all to stare

      Delete
  30. I plan to win the lottery some day
    And I know the chances that I may
    Are as good as anyone else's
    Because the lottery, I never play.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah those chances are just as good
      Better off finding dough growing on a tree of wood

      Delete
  31. There sure is a lot of psychology study that is currently being undertaken on the topic of gambling. Lottery for me is a special case of gambling, and the way you have things there, one of three people guranteed to win something (no matter how small), it sure makes more people buy lottery tickets :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that what sucks them in
      Thinking they have great odds of a win

      Delete
  32. Little in life is really free, but one likes to dream sometimes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah a fun dream here and there
      Is fine at any lair

      Delete
  33. The only scratching I do lately is my ass!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. they make cream for that
      Or so I'm told at my mat

      Delete
  34. Replies
    1. Well at least you know the outcome
      And then some

      Delete
  35. Every once in a while
    I'll scratch for the extra mile
    If I win I get to play again
    If I don't, it's tough luck
    But not a sin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah tough luck
      Does suck
      Seems to come
      More often than not with its hum

      Delete
  36. We figure we have about the same chance to win whether we buy the tickets or not!

    Once, at the Human's work, they pooled their money and bought a couple hundred lotto tix when the pot was huuuuuge. They didn't even win a dollar on a single ticket. That's when the Human arrived at the above philosophy!

    The hideous two weeks at the Human's work are over so I hope she'll be helping me visit more now!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah we tried that once too
      At our work zoo
      And never even got a smell
      Now you don't have to give the human hell

      Delete
  37. My mom used to include a lottery ticket in our stockings at Christmas. They are fun to play when someone else is buying. Not so much when I pay for them and lose!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah when someone else does the buying
      They are fun spying

      Delete
  38. I have never played a scratch card
    I would rather throw them in the yard
    I see people buy 20 of them at a time
    And then they wonder why they don't have a dime

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is surely steep
      they should just throw their dough in a trash heap

      Delete
  39. Another fine example of your wit!
    You've got me laughing where I sit!

    And I'm a gambler ~ I confess!
    A hour of black jack is more fun than chess!
    Certainly more fun than the Boys of Summer
    or throwing away bucks on an oil-sucking Hummer!

    I don't give scratching a go,
    but sometimes I play the Colorado Lotto.
    It started way back as a scratch,
    and quickly transformed to a number picking match.

    I even posted on the positive view;
    I don't think players are totally perdu.

    I agree with your salient point
    at my Colorado joint:
    "But as long as one doesn't lose their clothes
    Or get addiction woes
    Then it can be okay"
    That's what I think at my bay.

    The danger, of course, lies in the definition
    of clothes and woes and perdition.

    Thanks for such a provocative show,
    at your bay, so apropos!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha a gambler are you
      Has been done at my zoo
      Blackjack is better to try
      Than scratching under your sky
      And yeah that rule can be iffy
      May lose your clothes and not look spiffy

      Delete
  40. Even then there are those with brain in their behind...
    This very act they tend to rewind...
    Buy another piece of crap...they say the lottery ticket...
    Help them making their 'plan' get even more wicked!
    Doesn't matter to them, whether you spit or yawn..
    For them...their show must go on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And on is does go
      At their show
      Whether their fame does grow
      That I don't know

      Delete
  41. It's a loaded deck, gambling.But people invest in it, often its due to issues in their own life they are not addressing, so they adopt the ostrich approach and pray to the heavens.

    Though i saw a midget once, and jokingly said to a friend i was with 'Lets grab him and make him tell us where his gold is' instead of assaulting him, i bought a scratch card with a leprechaun on it, i won forty euros.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha that is quite the coincidence I suppose
      Good you didn't cause the midget woes

      Delete
  42. Never win anything off those things as I never buy them

    ReplyDelete