The Circus Is In Town, So Head On Down!

So a while ago at mail4rosey's show, she was going on about the circus and the scary things that can happen. Of course I helped out there with my yappin. But the cat had to share with all what can happen when you visit a circus hall.

Clowns, elephants, and rigged games, oh my!

It is clear somebody is going to die.

I mean the elephant could stomp you to death.

A clown could use a balloon to suck out all your breath.

The ringmaster could choke you with his whip.

A monkey could punch you and break your hip.

Those things are stronger than they look,

But if you had one at least you could stop a crook.

Like the rigged carnival games.

You may as well put your money up in flames.

Of course actually making it burn might take time,

So you may as well fall for their crime.

But of course when you play,

You could put an eye out at your bay.

I mean the ball could bounce back in your face,

Or go through the cardboard and hit somebody in another place.

Let's just hope you don't aim low.

Was that a low blow?

Damn the cat is good.

Unlike the tigers at the circus hood.

They could get loose and eat you up,

To them you'd be like poop to a pup.

Quite the image there.

Don't you now want to visit a circus lair?

Pack your bags and get ready to go,

For a clown with a gun is about to show.

But will it really say bang?

Or will your bell the rang?

At least if it's the second you won't know,

Unless again you only get hit down below.

Or maybe the human cannonball,

Will have a rather bad fall.

Except you'll be there to break his landing.

After that you won't be standing.

I'm sure the lions will take action.

They will save you from being in traction.

And then you could walk past the clown,

That had great big frown.

So his flowers  spray you in the face,

Except instead of water it could be mace.

All of that and more can happen when you visit a circus at your shore. Aren't you glad I told you everything about it? Now won't the circus be such hit? Also watch where you step along the grass. What is left there is much bigger than what comes out of my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Nothing To Say On This dVerse Day!

You see it time and time again at a many a bloggers den. So the cat just has to join in on the I have nothing to say today at my bin. That is right. I'm just posting to post at my site, for there is nothing to say at my hall. Nothing at all. Can't you see there is nothing on this wall?

Here's my update for today.
I simply have nothing to say.
Life is this the same.
Is this really lame?

Here's my thought for today.
I simply have nothing to say.
Why are you even here,
When no words even come near?

Here is my reaction to that today.
I simply have nothing to say.
Oh that person won some dough.
I still have nothing to say at my show.

Here's my exercise for today.
I simply have nothing to say.
I need a little R&R.
So I might buy a brand new car.

I just want to say I'm alive today.
But I still have nothing to say.
After all is been 24 hours,
Since you saw my rhyming powers.

I had to just update you for today.
I really had nothing else to say.
Why are you looking at me like that?
Haven't you ever seen a rhyming cat?

Lots of history I bet within today.
But I still have nothing to say.
Were you expecting some kind of fact?
I guess you will have to move on to another act.

Because I really have nothing to say.
Did you get that yet at my bay?
Or are you stuck in a rut?
At least it's better than being buried with King Tut.

Just like him I have nothing to say.
For I am dead tired at my bay.
But I will still show a post.
While I relax at the coast.

And I still have nothing to say.
See you are out of luck today.
Nothing at all is on my wall.
See you tomorrow at my hall.

The cat is of course as mouthy as ever. Isn't having nothing to say oh so dVerse and clever? At my bay that will happen never. But of course the cat had to endeavor. There are just so many out there with nothing to say the cat felt lonely not doing it today. So today I had nothing to say to each lad and lass as I wiggle off with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Dog And Cat At My Mat!

So today the cat will prove how gullible the dog is with his rhyming biz. Yeah, I'll give some attention to the mutt. It's okay to do every once in a while at my hut. So just nod your head and agree as I go on my rhyming spree.

The dog wants to treat,
It wiggles its ass and puts up its feet.
Like a good little attention whore,
It gets a treat for such a chore.

While the cat demands a treat,
Or you'll be out on the street.
And after you feed a treat to a cat,
The only way you will get a paw as if it wants to give you a bat.

The dog has to go for a walk,
To prance about and let people gawk.
But it can't even pee all at once.
Instead it goes from tree to tree like a dunce.

While the cat digs a hole,
Maybe even taking care of that mole.
Then let's it fly,
Back once more to watching the birds in the sky,

You tell the dog a simple no,
It pouts and sinks down real low.
Waiting for you to change your mind.
Hoping from its sad face you'll turn kind.

Tell a cat anything to do with no.
They will do it anyway at their show.
Maybe even pretend they don't for a while,
Waiting until your sleep to act so vile.

You tell a dog to come as you pat your knee,
Looking like a crazy person at your sea.
And they come and slobber on you.
Just like you knew they would at your zoo.

You call a cat and do a dance.
They will barely give you a glance.
If you want them you have to come their way.
Don't expect it to be the other way around at any bay.

Then of course is where you sleep.
In the dog will creep.
And try to take the bed from you.
But at the end it will reside in view.

While in the cat struts its stuff.
If you don't move, things will get rough.
As extra scratch marks are just for you,
I know you needed an extra one or two.

The cat could go on all day here at his bay, that you obviously know from each daily rhyming show. Especially with the difference between the two. They are so gullible at each zoo. So was the cat spot on? At least we never leave things for you to pick up on the lawn. Of course you may find a dead rodent in the grass but that is just what is left and you will never see the part that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

It's Everywhere And You Use It Bare!

Unless of course you are really dirty or getting really flirty. Either way you might not have time to strip down as you hop in the shower and go to town. I mean cleaning of course at my sea, don't go all gutter on me. To late? I guess it's just my fate.

dVerse has water on the brain,
There at their lane.
Saying it is all around,
So a verse can be found.

They make it seem like water is oh so good.
Time to correct them at my hood.
Don't believe me?
Just follow along at my sea.

I buzz like a bee,
Needing to pee.
Crap! Literally.
The water is plugged by too much dead tree.

Time for that thrill,
Take one last swill.
Damn! Spilled water on the laptop.
Now it sparks non stop.

Water on Mars!
Somewhere under its dune bars.
But it costs 10 Billion to get there.
While we're 10 trillion in debt to the Chinese lair.

It allows for skinny dipping,
Yeah not just for sipping.
That is okay for some at their lair,
But others should not be seen bare.

What did one ocean say to the other?
Feel free to stop and ask your mother.
Have you finally caved?
They said nothing and just waved.

Yes, I am shore.
There is no need to roar.
Or be a beach about it.
Doesn't water have such wit?

It also lets you spit.
When you have a fit.
Some talk and spit at the same time.
Wish they were a mime.

And then worst of all,
It doesn't have just one name at its hall.
It is waaay to greedy,
Or maybe just very needy.

Lake, swamp, ocean, pond, sparkling, pure, river, stream. Water thinks it is so great with its gleam. Sorry to rain on your water parade. But I had to point out this charade. Not to mention it makes up the likes of Honey Boo Boo. Water needs to get a clue. That is all today class from my ever so hydrated little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

According To The Screen We Will Stay Clean!

So I'm sure you have noticed just like the cat that the end of the world doesn't seem so bad at your mat. And by that I mean on the TV for they all still look oh so pretty.

Zombies have taken over,
Eating everyone from human to rover.
Unless it is Dawn of the Dead,
Then it's not off with Rovers head.

But back on task,
All still look like they have just gotten a facial mask.
All prim and proper toes,
Their hair is even cut and not dirty like their clothes.

Same goes for when aliens attack,
They still have clean nails at their shack.
Their teeth are all white and shiny,
Even the teenagers are still whiny.

The world has been turned to ice,
That is just not nice.
But as you can see,
We may freeze our butt off but I'm still pretty.

Or there could be some big war,
Planet is not prepared for what is in store.
Barely any humans left on earth,
But barbers still hold worth.

Not to mention crest whitening strips,
They must have enough for double dips.
What's a nuke against teeth whitening,
It can even surpass Zeus's lightning.

Then comes some disease,
From something as simple as a sneeze.
Or maybe a bird, monkey or hog.
Even the cat won't blame a dog.

Yet even the sick and dying,
With their oh so fake crying,
Are still prim and proper.
From the guy on the corner to a copper.

So according to the TV screen,
Should the world ever really become obscene,
Like aliens from outer space,
Or dinosaurs come back and eat the human race.

There is no need to fear,
For your local barber will still be near.
As well the day spa.
So you can now go run and tell your ma and pa.

Ever notice that at your shack? I just had to go and give them flack. For their ego claims their fiction is oh so true sometimes, yet they commit such obvious crimes. Not that I really care but I still had to point it out at my lair. Though on a day spa I will take a pass there is no need to fluff my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

No Way Is What You Say!

So the cat is guilty of this too. I mean there are better ways to use the loo. The litterbox is such a mess. But I don't care I will confess. Pat won't let me use the big one anyway. He says I'll go on the seat and eat the TP on display. But that is neither here nor there, time to get to it at my lair.

Have you ever,
Thought you were clever?
Yes! I know many will say,
As you nod at your bay.

But then come to find out,
You start to pout.
For that guy or lass,
Made it come faster to pass.

Did it with less work,
Which is a perk.
Did it with less stress,
And also less mess.

How can this be?
Witchcraft from across the sea.
That is it,
A witch is behind this shit.

Yes, you actually swear,
Don't deny it at your lair.
Of course if you are old one eye,
You let something that rhymes with duck fly.

And then in the end,
You go right around the bend.
Pffft to their way,
Yours is the best at any bay.

But hmmm what if?
You suddenly give their way a sniff.
And wow look at that,
Saved tons of time at your mat.

It was a better way,
You now have more time to play.
Can even enjoy the day,
Go skinny dip in the bay.

Hey, it is summer after all.
Beats a polar bear dip at any hall.
And all because you gave in,
Figuring your way wasn't the only way to win.

If only all worked like that,
May get things done faster at ones mat.
But sadly so many have to stick to their ways,
Stuck in some rat like maze.

Change can be bad but then it could also help at ones pad. The cat thinks of the best way he knows and then let it flows. But if another one comes to light. He'll latch on and let it take flight. Except of course with gas and where I go to let loose the stuff from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

An Epic Sale Or Fail?

So for today we will look at the sales you humans love at your bay. Actually the ones you love that are far away, as they make less sense I say. But then I am just a cat that likes to tear up the mat.

Big sale today,
In the city on display.
It is only a two hour drive,
Which I am sure you'll survive.

Unless a crazy person is on the road,
But that is a whole other rhyming mode.
But you must get that sale.
You have to get there come rain, snow or hail.

You'd be a good mailman with that attitude,
Just don't go postal, that is rather rude.
Hop in your car and go,
You can't wait to save money at your show.

That is the best thing to do.
When those sales come in your view.
Better stop for gas,
Don't want to run out and start to sass.

May as well buy a snack while you are there.
Those chips are great at your lair.
Need something to drink too.
Have to stay hydrated for all the shopping you will do.

Now back on your way,
Nothing can stop you today.
You will have that sale.
Even if you have to shove another on the third rail.

Would not recommend that,
You may get an orange jumpsuit at your mat.
Save that for black friday,
Then you can blame the other nuts at the shopping bay.

You are finally there.
You even fix up your hair.
Ready to march into that store,
And get the things you really need at your shore.

You smile as you see the sign.
This sale truly is divine.
You save $1 on fruit loops,
To feed the troops.

Wow, you are so happy.
With no signs of sappy.
You just saved a $1 on fruit loops at your sea,
While spending $20 on gas to get there, yippeee!

Can you tell the cat was being sarcastic there? My the things some humans do at their lair. We won't even go into the snacks too, rising the price in view. Save a buck and spend twenty to fill up the truck. Great logic there has come to pass. It is just so astounding to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Time To Hit The Trail, Just Watch Out For The Third Rail!

So with gas, as always, high the cat thought he would help out under his sky. I mean now people go to and fro as they leave their show. All have to enjoy the sun so away they run. But no need to run, screw that exercise a ton. Hmmm won't go there, but sure some are aware. No need to drive, for the cat has much better things to use at your hive.

Stick your feet in a water case,
Then get ready for a cold embrace.
Put the case with your feet still inside,
In the freezer and away you'll glide.

Feet frozen in ice.
At a cheap price.
You can slide all the way to the store,
Or out and about to explore.

Can take your wheely chair,
And bring it out side of your lair.
Sit in it and push yourself out in front of a car,
You may get dead or go far.

Odds are 50/50 I suppose.
Be sure you bring in your fingers and toes.
No limbs should be harmed,
But if you die you won't be alarmed.

Get a big fan blade,
So big it will never fade,
And tape it to your head,
That is what I said.

Use duct tape too.
Then add a power pack to you.
And plug it in,
Away you'll fly for the win.

Want to go to the park?
You like hearing the dogs bark?
While step in cement at your sea,
Some that is drying preferably.

Cover yourself from head to toe,
And then away you will go.
You are now a statue in the park.
Don't frown, at least you'll have left your mark.

Could even ride a snake,
If they don't make you shake.
They slither along with glee,
Hissing at everyone they see.

No one will mess with your anaconda.
Doesn't that sound better than a Honda?
Oh what thoughts could come to mind,
As you go down that gutter grind.

And there we go, hope I have helped out at my show. Now you can travel the map and hopefully not catch the clap. Or bed bugs too. Those are just ewww. At least either way when you go from bay to bay, you can now save gas. All thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A dVerse Way Of Doing What You Say!

So the other day at Pat's work bay in came a guy who barely knew English under the sky. So when an expression was used he was confused and I think he felt a bit abused. But it left me amused and so this dVerse one was fused.

How is it hanging?

I was snip snip, so it doesn't matter there will be no banging.

What's up?

The sky? The ceiling? Your coffee cup?

What's in a name?

Letters, is this some sort of game?

Kiss my ass!

Only if it is a mighty fine mass.

Bite me!

Would you like it in the arm or the knee?

Go fly a kite.

Can I chew the string at my site?

Time to go water the dog.

I didn't know we had a hose at the blog.

You are so hot.

Actually I am cold at my plot.

This is a no put down zone.

Why would I want to put anything down and hear you moan?

Watch out for the nuts on the road.

Who would throw away perfectly good nuts to a toad?

My back is killing me.

Can you put it in jail at your sea?

It's raining cats and dogs.

I don't even see any frogs.

And you can take that to the bank.

But I have no money or gas in my tank.

Not alive anymore because he kicked the bucket.

Buckets are scary, next time I see one I will duck it.

I had a very long day.

You exceeded 24 hours at your bay?

I think I'm in a bit of a pickle.

Being inside a bit of a pickle must tickle.

He just put his foot in his mouth.

That has to stunt growth.

That guy has a chip on his shoulder.

Why doesn't he just eat it or crush it with a boulder?

Good luck, and break a leg.

Leave my leg alone I don't want a peg.

I can't get through to you so screw this.

You are not going to screw me for any bliss.

Oh how language can be taken in so many ways. It can sure leave one in a daze, if they can ever get through the maze. But then taking things literally can be fun as you can pick at many under your sun. That is all today class from my literal little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Another Question Attack At My Shack!

The cat was lying about when he heard a familiar shout. No, it was not Drazin or that dumb Tarsier Man. It was that Beyonder guy who seems to be a question fan. He floated over all holographic like and he would not take a hike. Out the questions started to come as he annoyed my little rhyming bum.

Why do you drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?

Because riding a horse costs hay.

Plus there is a mess to clean up.

Now go bug a butt sniffing pup.

Why do they call it a cockpit?

Because strippers are a hit.

Or maybe they get snip snipped,

So their wings don't get clipped.

Why do you get on an airplane?

Maybe because people only want to get in when there is rain.

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

Just to make you spell it wrong.

Why is it called a drive-through if you have to stop?

Maybe the stop and go sounds too much like a bunny hop.

Why is it an alarm clock is going off when it's turned on?

Just to make you confused at dawn.

Why are softballs hard?

First cockpits, now softballs, you have some dirty mind at my yard.

Why does mineral water that is centuries old go bad next year?

Because most of it is not mineral water I fear.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about it?

I guess it just goes to prove even a nobody can be a hit.

Why do we scrub down and wash up?

You clearly have too much coffee in your cup.

Why do they call it taking a dump, shouldn't it be leaving one?

Well Pat takes my dump for a run.

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

I guess it would be so they get less objections.

Why do they call it getting fixed when afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

That question deserves an encore.

For the cat can attest that after his snip snip,

Nothing comes out even when I get a good grip.

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?

Would you rather him be a pirate with a peg leg?

Why do you call it an electrical outlet when you plug things in?

I guess calling it an inlet is a sin.

Why is the number two pencil the most popular yet still number two?

Because I used number one to stab you.

Why don't you give me a direct answer to each question?

Maybe because it would upset my digestion.

And with that the hologram question nut sighed and disappeared from my hut. I guess that future guy does not like it when I lie. Or maybe he was offended by the gas that came out my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

What's In A Number? Ponder That While You Slumber!

So dVerse has numerology on the Brian. Hmm that must leave your brain fryin. But no matter how you go about the number you can surely slice it more ways than a cucumber. It all depends on how you look at what you want at your nook.

Numerology is the name.
Numbers is the game.
Could your 1 to 6 bring fame?
Maybe you can match it to a porn voiced dame?

Had to drop that in.
I will never let that one go at my bin.
Would that make that number 50,
Of things I repeat that I find nifty?

But if you are a six in the first part,
You may rip out someone's heart.
If you are three in the third part,
You made get filled with gas and fart.

Oh but you are a five now.
That means you are determined, wow!
Wait! You are really a nine.
That means everything will turn out just fine.

These things are really oh so clever.
Being all vague with their endeavor.
So it can apply to one and all.
As you read the numerology writing on the wall.

It can't hurt to think though.
Well for some the hurt may grow.
Don't strain your brain,
You may go insane.

Mine said I would not be married until after 29.
I was also a creative feline.
I was determined too,
And always see things through.

Oh and that I would succeed,
And not have to make anyone bleed.
It even said there would come a time,
Where I'd be more screwed up than a mime.

And of course I mean that in a physical way.
Oh, bad choice of words today.
Porn, screwed and physical in one rhyme,
I think all I need to add now is a little lime.

See this number thing can be fun.
Let the vagueness flow under your sun.
Maybe you will crack a smile,
Or be able to avoid something vile.

Yeah, can you tell the cat puts about as much stock in numbers as he does magic cucumbers? For with numbers all you have to do is gawk and you can make them go your way with how you talk. And as far as numerology goes being vague lets you count the crows. For anyone can relate it to their life. It doesn't impress the cat that it says Pat will get a wife. I don't want any B&C to come to pass. But I suppose it would lead to plenty more rhymes from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sucking More Dough From Your Show!

So this is probably old news by the time it comes but it still deserves a few hums. For even if the cat is so far ahead he will still rant about such dread. As video games are heading down the crapper I will be a little yapper.

So come the next generation games,

Sharing was going to go up in flames.

For a friend could not play your game,

Unless you follow all kinds of rules that are lame.

No longer could you just give one.
Instead they had to get their own under their sun.
Nothing but greed.
Thankfully people made them change their tune at their feed.

Either way they are as lame as can be.

But we will forget about that for now at my sea.

For let's suppose one day this really catches on,

Things would really go to shit at your lawn.

For say you buy some chips,

That are likely to widen those hips.

Sharing them with another,

Whether friend or brother,

Will be against the law.

You are the only one allowed to gnaw.

But first will come music for this,

Meaning you will be the only one able to listen to such bliss.

For only your player will play it.

So no trading CDs or songs of any kind at your pit.

That includes the digital stuff,

And all they will say is tough.

Oh wait they won't just say that,

They will allow it if you pay a fee at your mat.

So not only do you have to buy the thing,

Plus whatever to play it and let it sing,

But now you have to pay more to share.

And next up will be movies at your lair.

Because God only knows they don't make enough money already,

With billions of dollars coming in steady.

Now they want to suck another dime,

Because you giving a DVD to a friend is a crime.

They will get you in every way,

From chips to whatever you want to play.

All they have to do,

Is put a little code into whatever you use at your zoo,

And welcome to one step closer to 1984.

Aren't you ready to take the tour?

The sad part is this is not far from the truth for if they one ever gets away with it at their booth, it won't be long before everybody tries to screw you over in every way, all for a little more pay. Everything from clothes to light bulbs to ketchup, oh my. Don't you just love the greed cry? Hopefully it will never come to pass as it surely would not impress my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

The True Story No Matter How Gory!

So over at Trudessa's sea, she included little old me, in a story that showed the cat and even Pat off in all their glory. The blue guy was in it too, but sadly she was too nice to grumpy goo. She sugar coated his part not wanting to break his grumpy heart. The cat has no problem doing that. So he will show you the true story of Grumpy Goo at his mat.

And when I say show,
I mean very much so.
For doing videos for John, HGW and others at their sea,
Made me think it was about time I did one for me.

What better way,
To give you the true story today.
Then to have a little show and tell.
Grumpy Goo sure went through hell.

But what can you expect from a blue guy,
Who continues to lie.
First Bora Bora was a no go,
Now he's talking mutiny at his show.

So he brought on his own fate.
Now he is shark bate.
A fate I'd hate,
Rather have shark on my plate.

So enjoy the true story,
In all its glory.
I never hold back the truth,
Here at my booth.



Was that not fitting for Grumpy Goo? Trudessa talks like a porn star, who knew? The cat suddenly looks more feminine too.  I wonder how a litter could even come due? And what an accent on Grumpy Goo. Where he picked that up, I have no clue. But at least the true story has now come to pass, all thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Fart Apart!

So way back during the A to Z here at my sea we did fun names for Pat during the letter P. One that seemed to cause many glee, was Fartin' Martin on display. So you know I had to use that again at my bay. But I did not want to stop there and so A Fart Apart came to my lair.

In a town far away,

They do more than just roll in the hay.

Each year they have a contest for the best fart.

It takes place at the local Fart Mart.

The contestants this year are top-notch.

After reading this you may think Pat got into the scotch.

For Fartin' Martin isn't the only one,

Getting in on the farting fun.

Chipper Ripper is the one to beat.

Mass Gas loves to roam the street.

Gassy Lassy was sure she'd win.

Wind Breaker was all in.

The five of them were all ready to fart.

But they had to wait for the judges to start.

The three judges were the best around.

Smelly Ruth, Crappy Chap and Squeal Mark were the judges to surround.

Did you know there were so many ways to say fart?

You can find them all at Fart Mart.

So join in the fun,

And sniff away with everyone.

Click here to have a peer.

Yeah, it is probably Pat's most juvenile book ever but you know many kiddos like the farting endeavor. So what the hell. The tale of the fart he had to tell. Maybe one day you will win the Stink Stank Stunk award for pulling the rip cord. Don't get shown up by that gassy lass. That is all from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Have A Ball With The Video Call!

So the other day the cat was using Skype at his bay. I watched the human on the other end and I think they forgot that they don't need to hit send. For the cat saw all. Here are some things not to do well on a video call.

The first is obvious as can be,

Don't pick your nose in front of me.

The second isn't hard to do.

Don't talk while you're in the loo.

And it is not cool,

To sit and wipe away drool.

Also put some clothes on before you hit play.

Seeing your no sun bare ass is not something I need at my bay.

Do not sit there and stuff your face,

It's not like you're in a race.

But at least one good thing comes to pass,

I don't have to smell the breath of your nasty mass.

And if you want to whistle a tune,

Go for a walk in a litter box sand dune.

And do not yell into the mic,

Or I will tell you to take a hike.

Yes, you have very nice hair.

But I don't need to watch you groom it at your lair.

Or picking in the curly spot.

That might make my eyes rot.

And picking that green stuff out of your teeth,

May go well with an upcoming Christmas wreath.

But it is not something I need to see.

I don't want to know your mouth looks like a tree.

And using it in the car,

Won't get you very far.

But even when you crash,

I still hear you swearing and talking trash.

Speaking of hearing,

Even through your throat clearing,

I can hear you shout to the other room.

My, you must really have fun with that broom.

Or was it a toy,

That brings you so much joy?

Wait, I don't really want to know.

There is no need for you to show.

This is also not primary class.

You don't not need to hold your sippy glass,

And have a fun show and tell.

But yes, your stamp collection is so swell.

So there are just a few tips of what not to do when talking on a video call at your zoo. It is amazing how many of you, including Pat, act normal and forget that you are in view. Or at least normal to you for here much crazy always comes due. But that you already knew class as every day I rhyme off my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Fill Your Purse With A Tweetful dVerse!

So as Pat sat at work waiting for the one and only perk, well besides the pay that lets us eat at our bay, which is for the day to be done and to go out in the sun. He decided to watch the twitter feed. A brain cell or 10 some of them are surely in need.

I am better than instant coffee.

You must be so hyper you swing from a tree.

Canadians get the message of saving more borrowing less.

I was too broke to get that message I guess.

I think it is wrong that monopoly is only made by one place.

So a monopoly you don't embrace?

I am sitting in class and we're talking about sperm.

You may get some if you swallow the worm.

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice.

Now that is a saying in which one should rejoice.

Facts to tickle your bone.

So you're going to cut my arm? Leave me the hell alone.

Four ways to use yelp.

I don't want to use yelp, help!

Can I start up a kickstarter just because?

Could get you dough if you made enough buzz.

The blessing of the present is from the complications of the past.

Even if those complications don't go away fast?

My laptop just squeaked, I don't think this is a good thing.

While it is better than it letting swear words fling.

Totally free access to debt.

That is a conundrum you can bet.

In heaven all the interesting people are missing.

Oh that could lead to some hissing.

You have got to throw beer out the window.

Such a litter bug at your show.

At 1:30 AM my Internet is always sucky.

It could be those gremlins or maybe chucky.

I want something real fattening right now.

Could always go out in the field and eat a cow.

That hurt like hell.

So I guess it was not swell?

With every opportunity comes another setback.

Like stepping on a thumbtack?

I always feel like somebody is watching me.

Sorry, I was bored I tell you at my work sea.

Explaining this over and over is too much for me.

Is it really that hard to climb a tree?

I am not being negative, I am positive you will screw it up.

Stealing a line from a movie for that hiccup.

And with that we had a very dVerse display of some oh so great tweets at my bay. I know I did this a time or two but whoopdi friggin doo. For with thousands of messages that come to pass, it leaves many wide open to attack by my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Real Preach At The Beach!

So last year the cat went on at his mat about nuts at the beach who like to preach. Of course that time he was just having a little fun but sadly this time when he was out under the sun, in the giant litter box, away they strolled with their knee-high socks.

Do you have a minute sir?

They already ruffled my fur,

Talking to me like that.

So I trotted off and let them pick on Pat.

Don't you think it is hideous the way these women are dressed?

Yup, I knew they were going to be a pest.

Pat grunted and looked away.

That did not go over well with their fray.

Can't you answer a simple question?

Is that a question or suggestion?

I said question, can't you answer it?

Can you pop that zit?

Oh wait that is a mole.

No wonder you have a face like a lump of coal.

Don't get lippy with me.

All of this is blasphemy.

Then there was that word.

Oh how I knew they were absurd.

Who in the heck goes to a beach,

dressed with knee-high socks to preach?

They really must have been sweating up their ass crack,

The whole freaking annoying pack.

And then they went even further into despair,

Asking that if I really care,

I would give them a donation.

It sounded more like a proclamation.

As out came the hand,

so I filled it full of sand.

Told them not to spend it all in one place,

Should have seen the look on their face.

They crossed themselves as Pat walked off.

I bet they wanted to dunk him in a holy horse trough.

That is the first time I ever had to deal with that crap,

Anywhere near the spot on my map.

I guess as the waves swell,

They think everyone that is half naked is going to hell.

You know what they say about hell in a handbasket,

I bet though still ask for 10 grand when I'm in a casket.

Oh how they swarm like flies,

Asking for dough and pretending they are wise.

Yes, Pat really had to deal with that crap. But he wasn't about to fall into their trap. Next time he told me to dig a big hole then we could at least bury the one with the ugly mole. Gloria will have some company then as she is still buried at my den. Maybe they'll stay home and preach to Sunday school class, and never again bother my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Hot To Trot Robot

There you go Betsy, used it in the title just for thee. Is that more than my once per month quota at my sea? I guess I'm just hot to trot like a busy bee. At least not a procrastinating fox. I better get on with it before the gawker gawks.

dVerse wants hot.
Google thinks I am a robot.
Two in one,
Oh what fun.

In a one horse open sleigh.
Damn, I got the wrong day.
For it is supposed to be hot not cold.
That just sort of took hold.

What can you expect from a spammer?
I must have some sort of stammer.
For the little guy from Timbuktu,
Trying to sell shoes to all of you,

Does not end up in spam.
Yet away the cat goes like toe jam.
Hey, at least it is not zombie toe jam.
Or some kind of Christmas ham.

See now I have that on the brain.
No wonder I get thrown in spam at every lane.
I'm just too hot for blogger to handle.
It does not want to get burnt by my candle.

Yep, I really went there to.
See what the heat can do?
It makes blogger think the cat is a spammer.
It makes humans walk around like they got hit with a hammer.

It makes dogs wag that big drooly tongue,
And Canadians treat old one eye like dung.
Invading her poor beach.
The cat so wishes he was in reach.

Then I would leave her something special at her sand bar.
It may end up on the floor mat of her car.
Now I am just rambling on.
But since when is that any different at my lawn?

I hope I type this all right.
After all it's hard to see when it's 93 degrees at your site.
Nothing wants to work.
It's like everything is snip snip and not a perk.

At least I suppose when some are all hot and steamy,
They can pretend they just got done with Mr. Dreamy.
Or Mrs. for all of you that aren't snip snip.
Now I am done giving all lip.

Except of course if you are dumb blogger and you keep putting in spam. Then I'm going to turn you to toe jam. Or feed you to a killer clam. Maybe I should just give you a lamb. Then you can go get your thrill and leave me alone at my hill. So if recently you have not seen me come to pass, check your spam box to find my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Are You This Crazy A Fan Of Tarsier Man?

There was a man,
In need of a tan.
He had a tendancy to stare.
A fact which he was unaware.

This lead to many a slap.
Or a good lip flap.
People were not kind.
They even slapped him on the behind.

He never knew why.
He was just admiring the sky,
Giving it a good gawk,
When he went about his walk.

No, he wasn't bare.
So don't go there.
He just liked to glare,
Not having a care.

Or so he thought.
All hot to trot,
On his stroll.
Could it be mind control?

For in his youth.
He built a booth.
To a certain man,
Whom he was a big fan.

He wished one day,
To be such a hero on display.
So kept his eyes wide,
Through life's ride.

He could not stop.
For he secretly wished for them to plop.
And go flying through the air.
A fact which he was unaware.

Did I mention the others?
Fathers, sisters, mothers, brothers?
All of which stop and stare,
All completely unaware.

There is a syndrome going around.
And it seems from childhood it was found.
Something to go with a man,
Who they were all a big fan.

They received a gift,
Giving their spirits a lift.
From a cereal box.
It was some flashy socks.

The sock mind control plot.
Who would have thought?
There is only one man that can stop such a thing.
So just give his theme song a sing.

The evil corporate clowns.
Made memoribila and even night gowns.
Not giving him a cent.
So he will make them repent.

But who put the curse on the socks?
Billy the blue tailed ox?
I guess that adventure is yet to be told.
Although it could come should he smell gold.

I guess Tarsier Man left his deranged fan high and dry. The poor guy. He even wanted his eyes to plop. Tarsier Man better make this sock plot stop. Maybe he has a new foe? The Deranged Fan would sure put on a bad guy show. At least this time the cat did not have to repeat a Tarsier Man tale, just the epic fail of a deranged fan. He would be better off idolizing Peter Pan. But Tarsier Man fans have no class. Unlike those who are a fan of my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Forth And Back Can Cause Flack!

Isn't it fun how you give one thing a run then something else is spun under your sun? Do you get what they cat is yapping about? Come now don't pout. I am sure you will catch on before the end of this trend and won't go completely around the bend. Although that can be fun too. The cat knows it to be true.

Finally, your big job is done.
No longer do you have to give it a run.
You think you have time,
Then comes another crime.

Now you have to clean some grime,
Left by some stupid mime.
Oops, time to cook food,
Deal with an idiot that is rude.

Have to get gas,
The grocery list needs another pass,
Another job crops up,
No coffee left for your cup.

Add that to the list,
As you grit your fist.
Just when you had some relief,
Comes a whole bunch more grief.

Damn phone rings over and over,
You have to walk rover,
Have to shovel too,
What is left behind for you.

Then comes some yapping in your hear,
As you try to make something come near,
Getting rid of that list,
Wanting to smack them with your fist.

Another maybe comes due,
Giving you the old switcheroo.
For now you have to start anew,
After they dropped another clue.

Can't make up their mind,
Annoying your behind.
But you push on,
Hoping for the coming dawn.

Lord and behold it comes,
You give off cheery hums.
Damn! Time for the first job once more,
That you completed last month at your shore.

It never ends,
These forth and back trends.
But such is life,
Guess we just have to look at it with less strife.

And now you get the cat as I went on about the mundane at my mat. For it comes to us all and has to get done at our hall. But if you don't get stuck behind the eight ball, that list doesn't get so tall. Now I'm off to pass some gas from my wiggling little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A News Cruise!

Today at my zoo the cat is going to help all of you. That is right for once at my site I will help all of you. For today much news is going to come do. The cat snuck into a Hollywood newsroom and will be the first to bring you all the Hollywood gloom. So just seated back and get ready for a heart attack.

Planet of the dogs is next on the list,

It is sure one not to be missed.

But I hear the producers got pissed,

When the fire hydrants they missed.

Stargate is coming back to TV,

That is right you heard it from little old me.

They had a solar flare,

And now they are filming them all again at their lair.

This one is hot off the presses,

It could leave your underwear in messes.

There will be another thousand remakes this year,

Doesn't that make you clench your rear?

But forget about that,

For it is time to step up to bat.

With Major League four,

The retirement home tour.

And you better save your loonies,

For there is going to be more Goonies.

Just pop in your DVD,

And there they are to see.

Next should be a fun one,

As Gibson goes crazy under the sun.

He talks to his friend in a shoe,

I guess it beats talking to a loo.

And for all of you lovers of reality TV,

I hope a special place in Hell is reserved for thee.

But that is neither here nor there,

Four girls go to jail will soon be coming to your lair.

Wait you get that anyway?

Those damn celebrities ruin everything at my bay.

But from kids star to behind the bar,

May very well go far.

Gremlins versus Critters are up next,

I just got the text.

I wonder if the Critters will play by the rules,

Which make the gremlins look like fools.

Now now don't go away,

There will be plenty more on display.

But if you want more news,

You have to pay your ticket dues.

What? The cat has to earn a living, for this great news you should be giving. What? You don't agree with little old me? I guess I will have to send you a flea. Then when you murder the poor flea you can go to jail and be on reality TV. But if you are a dog you will have to wear wig. At least I didn't pull a Deliverance and say act like a pig. And I think I will stop there before anyone get any ideas at my lair. I know you are just astonished at the great news that came to pass from my ever so nosy little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Some Could Cause Dread As They Appear Over Head!

So you humans like to think all is bright and when you have an idea above your head a bulb with light. I guess for many there is room up there to screw it in at their lair. That air hole must be grand. A human whale would be interesting as you walked on land.

Now maybe if,
You all got a good whiff,
Or a trash bag over head.
Stupid ideas wouldn't cause dread.

Or there could be a hammer,
So if you begin to stammer.
Bam! Down it would come,
You'd feel that down to your bum.

The old myth about the sword,
Should win an award.
What a great thought.
It would weed out the criminals a whole lot.

A torch would be great.
If one gets filled with hate.
They would be charcoal,
And food for a troll.

A fan might help,
Then when you yelp.
No one could hear you drool.
Plus it will keep you cool.

Acid might be fun.
It could get all leaky under the sun.
Dripping on your head with ease.
That could bring us to fleas.

Every time a dumb idea is had.
Fleas drop on your head like mad.
Then you itch all day.
That will keep the bad ideas away.

Thinkingcaps fire hydrant would work too.
It would be heavy and squash the bad ideas from you.
Plus build some muscle as well.
See, things don't always have to just cause you hell.

A projector might work,
Then all could laugh and smirk,
As your thoughts come to life.
Could really cause you strife.

So screw the light bulb fame,
That is far too tame.
The cat would rather have humans get a head kick,
While he turns around and gives himself a lick.

Now don't you want to throw the light bulb away and balance a sword over your head each day? No? Geez you humans are just so lazy and slow. But I guess some need to fill that air hole with a mass. So they are scared of the ideas from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

A dVerse Date Is Thankfully Not My Fate!

It is another round of the scary that have been found. Thankfully there was no dVerse date because Pat refused to open the gate. I guess he can be bright and once more bring no B&C to our site.

"Wanna bake my cake tonight?"
Ummm by your sight,
You ate one too many already.
But feel free to keep eating them steady.

"I hate cat balls, so stop giving them to me!"
Wow, I really will flee.
I never asked to be snip snip,
So don't go giving me any lip.

"What do you say I come to Mars and probe?"
Sure as hell stay off this globe.
Go to mars and stay away,
No probes allowed at my bay.

"I have my own rome, car and job."
What about poor Bob?
And you own Rome?
Wow, you must have one giant lawn gnome.

"Crayons bring me joy."
Are you being coy?
And really at your hall,
You're saying you like things small?

"Dial my digits and I'll forgo the charge."
You mean you have reception on your barge?
Are you a telemarketer trying to get me?
My digits you will never see.

"Is it sunny where you are?"
It is at my bar.
But by the look of your rump,
Much sun doesn't get on each bump.

"Lets go camping in the dark."
Rather listen to a dog bark.
That is the beginning of a horror movie.
Ending up a slasher victim isn't groovy.

"Your face is poetry to me."
Wait! Are you stalking my sea?
Do I have writing on my face?
It better rhyme at a steady pace.

"I'm not easy unless you mow my lawn."
So much gutter thoughts dawn.
But yard work I hate,
Plus I can't pay your rate.

Well at least many of them could spell this time with their dating search chime. But still as scary as can be. Still fun to be used by little old me. And so another dating mass has come to pass. Thankfully Pat avoided each lass which delights my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Such Strife Probably Means They Need A Wife!

The cat was out and about the other day, standing in line at some Costco bay. Of course I was bored standing there. So I gawked around the Costco lair. And there were two guys, who were acting oh so wise. Their conversation was truly heated. Some how after hearing their conversation for those few minutes I feel cheated.

That rabbit one wins hands down.
There is no better in toon town.
Don't tell me you never whack off to her.
She may be called a rabbit but she has no fur.

I was always partial to Misty myself,
She got the engines going at my shelf.
Just something about her charm,
That raises my alarm.

Misty ewww.
Why would you....
How could you....
I wish I never knew.

Says the guy who thought Gadget was hot,
And drooled over her a whole lot.
At least at your house,
We know what happens if you find a mouse.

Well you said Lara Croft wasn't smoking.
You must really be joking.
How could you not want to bang her?
She really makes me purr.

Says the guy who doesn't like the little mermaid.
Could rest with her in the shade.
That red head is on fire.
I bet she would never expire.

You are such a liar.
I said I liked her fire,
But that seashell bra I liked more,
I'd sure go with her to the sea and explore.

Right!
You'd take her after Marge at your site.
That is just gross,
You'd have to be comatose.

That blue hair just does it for me.
Unlike thee.
Who would rather take Betty Boop for a loop.
She looks worse than pigeon poop.

Wonder Woman or She-Ra,
Which would you take to the spa?

Ha! I'd take both.
Neither could handle my growth.

Yep, the cat actually stood there and had to listen to such stuff. My, their love life must truly be rough. I mean they are in love with a piece of paper. I suppose it would be quite the caper, if they went for a ride and a paper cut snip snipped them with pride. Ahh what things come to pass when I'm out and about with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer..

Where Oh Where At My Lair!

So out and about at random times of the day as much comes about at my bay. We have to annoy Drazin and such for that is enjoyed very much. But no matter the time of day there is always lots of traffic on display.

Where the heck do the come from,
As their engine gives a hum?
The normal 9 or 5,
I can guess at my hive.

Even a dog can guess that.
Whoops, was that an insult from the cat?
Anyway, even at 10am say,
There are many cars on display.

Don't you humans work?
You aren't supposed to have such a perk.
Where the heck are you all going?
As each day you are showing.

Where does it come from?
No wonder so many people drink rum.
You drive them right up the wall,
Thinking about this at their hall.

So you aren't at work.
Aren't at school avoiding a jerk.
All hundreds upon hundreds of you,
Don't all need to go get a shot in the gazoo.

So I guess I will have to find,
Why there is always such a traffic grind.
Sale on some type of crop?
Practicing to be a cop?

Wait! You'd have to park at a donut shop to relate.
Practicing driving straight?
Obviously not,
As that pedestrian hates you a lot.

Why do they call it flipping the bird?
That is also just absurd.
Maybe you just drive to confuse all,
Or you need something to do at your hall.

So why not drive around and pollute,
Giving your horn a toot.
Plus waste tons of gas,
Lowering your bank account in mass.

You humans are just confusing,
But ever so amusing.
I guess there is always some place to go,
When skipping work and school at your show.

Any better answers from you? Do you like getting a shot in the gazoo? Is that the big secret all you humans hide? Maybe you just line up side by side. Either way, always many out and about no matter the time of day. Clearly many should not have passed drivers ed class. Another observation from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

The View Isn't Always True!

Ever think at your rink about a different way of ones display, sometimes an ass is an ass as away they pass, but sometimes not. There could be a whole other plot.

Away they fly,
You curse the guy,
Or the girl,
Driving like they are trying to curl.

But you never know,
Maybe a baby is about to show.
Would no want it to drop,
In the car with a plop.

Could have to get home,
For a fire is starting to roam.
Or could just have to go,
Been there at our show.

Except the cat sorta went,
Making Pat vent.
And crack a window or three,
Even got some on poor Cassie.

Someone is running away,
Could be getting exercise at their bay.
Or could be late,
For a very important date.

That is just habit,
I hate quoting that rabbit.
Catch on there,
As you sit and stare?

If not that is okay,
You are not in the know at your bay.
Or maybe just tired.
See what happens when a new view is hired?

Like a stinky drunk,
Who gives your nose a funk.
Maybe the drunk was out to lunch,
And met up with a bunch.

Or maybe just a cheap drunk,
Or was celebrating a slamdunk.
Just never truly know,
Unless of course some show and tell is giving a go.

But then as said,
Sometimes things need not be read,
And an ass is an ass,
As away they pass.

Went there as I was thinking the other day at my lair as an ass passed me squirming by like a flea. But never fear for the words he couldn't hear so I simply let the finger go up and linger. Hey, I said things could come to pass doesn't mean the new view still can't piss off my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

From The Comment Below Comes A New Flow!

So a long long time ago, like months at my show. Except more like weeks for me, since I'm so far ahead at my sea. There was a waffle comment as the cat made fun of some of you and Adam left a question I just have to answer in a typical What To Do.

What to do, What to do
To cope after being assaulted by a waffle at your zoo.

What can I do?
For now I am blue.
Give me a single malt.
How else can I cope with a waffle assault?

Use it as a circus act.
Could get in that book for a world record fact.
Arm yourself with a fork and spoon.
Call that waffle out at high noon.

Make your plate good and hot.
That could burn it a whole lot.
Smash each toaster you see.
Bury all waffles beneath a tree.

Go on a crusade,
The path is now laid.
Become the waffle avenger.
Or would that be revenger?

Either way,
You could surely make those waffles pay.
Get your pitch fork ready,
And stab them to death steady.

Then those you miss,
Will also get no bliss.
For the cost of waffles will be through the roof.
No one will buy, they'll rot and then poof.

Away they will go.
No more waffles will grow.
Then you will cope,
And not eye that rope.

After such an assault it is all you can do.
Unless you want to eat them all and use the loo.
That also is an evil fate.
But could give you a heart attack at any rate.

Either way it will cure your waffle hate.
And stop a waffle shipment crate.
But you will always carry the insult,
Of the time you were on the receiving end of your waffle assault.

So there you go class. Should a waffle assault ever come to pass, whether lad or lass, now there is no need to jump in a sea of bass. You can win back your dignity and roll in the grass. All thanks to my little rhyming ass. 

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Independent What At The American Hut?

Lets see what the cat can do today at his zoo to get some going with their celebration of fireworks glowing. This should be fun as away I give Independence Day a run.

What to say, what to say,
For good old Independence Day.
Will Smith kicking an aliens ass,
Mel Gibson letting it come to pass.

That is independant right?
As those aliens and British they fight.
Not British aliens though.
That would be one weird show.

I mean such an independent place,
Really gives independence a warm embrace.
For all are so independent each day,
They can make things go away.

Send the jobs overseas,
Cheap labor, yes please.
Thank God for those Chinese,
And lets not forget the Japanese.

Why make it here,
When we can ship it near.
Import from 26 countries to be exact,
At least those are the ones with the above board pact.

Live and let live we say.
As the British import stuff to our bay.
See we are so nice.
Forget the extra shipping price.

At least they tax us no more.
We can pocket our own taxes at our shore.
And if the IRS can't track you down.
A hit squad will decide on your town.

For those taxes we need,
Those million dollar golf games have to take seed.
But we still let you have machine guns.
Those can be bought by the tons.

Forget that they were made in China too.
That just isn't true.
You just rest easy in your beds,
My fellow fluoride heads.

For that is what independence is all about.
Let's give an independent shout.
And live in the past.
It's such an independent blast.

The cat just had to today at his zoo. But feel free to make fun of Canada as well. That isn't a hard sell. Either way the cat has no fear, whether you peer or cheer. All about the fun that comes under your sun. So enjoy your not so independent day there at your bay. I will now prepare for sass which is loved by my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Too Bad It Is A Must To Trust!

Don't trust anybody has been said. But that makes one stupid in the head. At least to the cat, never mind that he is weary of such things at his mat. Although when you take it literally at your sea, you became rather crazy.

Out for a drive,
Trust gets you out alive.
For you go on your way,
People turn after you go by their display.

They wait for the light,
Keep you in sight.
Don't ram your rearend,
Except if they are around the bend.

Go out to eat,
That yummy treat,
Which will curl the cat's toes,
Bringing such germ woes.

But we won't go there,
For that you are aware.
But you trust no spit,
Comes with what you consider a hit.

Also no need to call,
Poison control at your hall.
Trusting there is nothing to make you sick,
Unless of course you are served by a dick.

Which brings us back around,
To when idiots are found.
You trust them too.
You know it to be true.

You trust them to be a complete and utter fool,
Sawing their hand off with a power tool,
Crashing into your car,
Or poisoning you at the bar.

So you use that to stay away,
From their crazy ass display.
Such trust is best,
Keeps one from becoming a crash dummy test.

Trust the tax man to screw you over,
Trust a butt will get sniffed by rover.
Trust the cat will always rhyme.
Trust a criminal comitted a crime.

Trust the government is full of shit.
Trust other so called officials have even more of it.
So there you are today,
You do trust at your bay.

Now you just realize it a bit more,
As do I at my shore.
I just trust not to trust under my sun,
Keeping ahead of the nuts a ton.

That just popped in as a thought and the cat went all hot to trot. For it is a round and round type of thing and some kind of trust does come from your wing. But mostly have to trust ourselves first and that leads to a better burst. Now off to eat some bass, which trust me, tastes good to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.