Monday, July 22, 2013

Another Question Attack At My Shack!

The cat was lying about when he heard a familiar shout. No, it was not Drazin or that dumb Tarsier Man. It was that Beyonder guy who seems to be a question fan. He floated over all holographic like and he would not take a hike. Out the questions started to come as he annoyed my little rhyming bum.

Why do you drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?
Because riding a horse costs hay.
Plus there is a mess to clean up.
Now go bug a butt sniffing pup.

Why do they call it a cockpit?
Because strippers are a hit.
Or maybe they get snip snipped,
So their wings don't get clipped.

Why do you get on an airplane?
Maybe because people only want to get in when there is rain.
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
Just to make you spell it wrong.

Why is it called a drive-through if you have to stop?
Maybe the stop and go sounds too much like a bunny hop.
Why is it an alarm clock is going off when it's turned on?
Just to make you confused at dawn.

Why are softballs hard?
First cockpits, now softballs, you have some dirty mind at my yard.
Why does mineral water that is centuries old go bad next year?
Because most of it is not mineral water I fear.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about it?
I guess it just goes to prove even a nobody can be a hit.
Why do we scrub down and wash up?
You clearly have too much coffee in your cup.

Why do they call it taking a dump, shouldn't it be leaving one?
Well Pat takes my dump for a run.
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
I guess it would be so they get less objections.

Why do they call it getting fixed when afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
That question deserves an encore.
For the cat can attest that after his snip snip,
Nothing comes out even when I get a good grip.

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
Would you rather him be a pirate with a peg leg?
Why do you call it an electrical outlet when you plug things in?
I guess calling it an inlet is a sin.

Why is the number two pencil the most popular yet still number two?
Because I used number one to stab you.
Why don't you give me a direct answer to each question?
Maybe because it would upset my digestion.

And with that the hologram question nut sighed and disappeared from my hut. I guess that future guy does not like it when I lie. Or maybe he was offended by the gas that came out my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

99 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. In once more
      For the win at my shore

      Delete
  2. Boo hoo......I thought I beat Hank tee hee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was fumbling
      You nearly did!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. Maybe tomorrow
      You'll bring hank sorrow

      Delete
  3. A lot of questions being asked
    Some real funny answers to pass
    It can be fun
    For a nice run
    Keep having questions unmasked

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah fun to do
      At my zoo
      A time or three
      Can cause glee
      Then I'm through

      Delete
  4. Love this Pat, you can always have different answers to questions when you try to look at it in a way that normal people wouldn't look at it. Great post buddy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah just have step back
      And then questions and answers can attack

      Delete
  5. Never did say humpty dumpty was an egg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, didn't at all
      With their nursery rhyme call

      Delete
  6. WOW, I never realized there were so many unanswered questions in this world. Now the real question is when is this stupid song Jimmy Cracks Corn gonna stop playin' over and over and over in my head???????

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha oh the dread
      To have that damn thing in your head

      Delete
  7. Does the crow fly straight?
    Follow him or you'll be late.

    Are animal crackers in my soup?
    Do lions and tigers go loopidy loop?

    Does the hair up your arse have to be wild?
    Or can it be meek and mild?

    These are the questions
    that plague mankind
    driving some out
    of their minds.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the hair on the cat's arse is all prim and proper
      He licks it like a non stopper
      When already out of your mind
      No plague for my behind

      Delete
  8. Ha, lots of good ones here. I also was going to comment on "Jimmy Cracks Corn." So true, if no one cares, why so much time singing about it.... Yes, and Humpty Dumpty could be anything, that is for sure. As for scrubbing down and washing up....64,000 dollar question!! Have a good day at your bay.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So many questions at play
      Can all be seen in a new way
      I'd answer one for 64 grand
      I'd answer 1000 in my land lol

      Delete
  9. So many questions. Sounds like what comes out of a 2 year olds mouth... Why? Why? Why?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha keep asking though
      Keeps one from being buried in the sand at their show

      Delete
  10. The getting fixed one made me laugh!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha is a good one to ask too
      As it sure isn't brand new

      Delete
  11. Interesting questions at your hive
    as we wonder why why why
    can you tell me why when driving
    they tell you to buckle up when
    actually the buckle faces down
    just curious as I zip around town

    Some of these are funny at you zoo
    always something new in view
    Hope you have a good day
    pondering at your bay!

    Make the day 22 count .. Heehee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm that is a good one
      Maybe upside down Jim gave that a run
      To him it would be buckle up
      Or could have been someone with the brains of a pup
      Always something at play
      Here at my bay
      Hope you have a good day 22
      But if you go by year it is 213 at every zoo
      Unless in another time zone
      Then 214 would be the tone
      So confusing I will say
      We'll stick with 22 for today

      Delete
    2. You are probably sleeping at your sea
      but, I am awake as I cannot sleep
      so, thought I would come say hello
      to thee at your sea...

      that must be it only upside down Jim
      would need to buckle up (lol)
      glad you cleared that up...

      did you see the moon tonight
      lady Luna glows with a full face
      shimmering in the heavens
      full of light what a glorious
      sight.. let's catch a ride
      on a moonbeam soar
      the heavens in our dreams
      good night!

      Delete
    3. At that time
      I was having a weird dream chime
      The cats were in it too
      As we were trying to escape people at a former zoo
      Not sure why I went there
      But interesting at my lair

      No moonbeam was caught
      Trees block it at my lot
      But the dreams did soar
      Not to the moon though at my shore

      Delete
    4. Pat,

      That sounds like a strange dream
      did it make you want to scream
      sometimes dreams are not what
      they seem..maybe, you need
      to stay away from the former
      zoo it may not be good for you..

      The moon is full and so beautiful
      I sat outside and just gazed
      at the sky..makes me want to fly

      Hope you have better dreams tonight
      close your eyes and dream of good
      things and maybe, they will come
      true as it is a full moon full
      of mystical magic..

      Good Night to you! Sleep tight..

      Delete
    5. haha whenever I dream of such a thing
      Always at that old wing
      Oh well doesn't bother me
      As dreams like that make me sleep good at my sea

      Delete
  12. ha. in the cockpit they push n pull the yoke to get the plane to go up n down, you know...strippers too? jimmy crack corn give hope to the rest, thanks for the chuckles...today, i am a rather sick mess

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha strippers and a plane
      So much in common at their lane
      And eww to the germs too
      Hope they soon go away from you

      Delete
  13. I'm with "Just Keeping it Real, Folks", now that stupid Jimmy Cracks corn and I don't care is running in my head, seriously, why do we all know that one?

    Lucy from Lucy's Reality

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like it is engrained in our dna or something
      At each and every wing

      Delete
  14. Well, Jimmy cracks corn and *I* always cared. I. Always. Cared.

    ReplyDelete
  15. These are great, like a rap
    You put on your thinking cap
    What a huge room we must need
    For all those caps at our feed
    A cap for every thing we do
    Even when we're in the loo
    Cowboys wear their hats to bed
    No surprise, enough is said

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha a mad hatter today
      With your display
      But with the last name Hatt
      One is always worn by Pat

      Delete
  16. It seems humpty dumpty-riddle-
    human intention to mix,to mingle
    to anything inanimate -
    give a character traits...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah could be most
      Anything inanimate at ones coast

      Delete
  17. These conundrums above are quite a list.
    You've done your research well, my lad.
    But, I think there's one you may have missed.
    Like...how can you tell if sour cream is bad?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I missed that one
      If I were to give it a run
      I'd say add in some spotted dick
      If it turns color, the cream won't click

      Delete
  18. Oh, and, by the way, I said the Humpty Dumpty rhyme in my head.
    Yep. No mention of an egg. Fred.

    NOTE: I was too lazy to think of a proper rhyme.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha after saying the rhyme in your head
      You could be all rhymed out to use a proper one instead

      Delete
  19. Funny questions that needed to be answered. Good job!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Many answers could come due
      To a few

      Delete
  20. Humpty Dumpty sounds less like a egg

    but rather a male actor in an adult movie as far as I can peg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha someone will have a great fall
      As with them they have a ball

      Delete
  21. Those weremall so cool Pat!!! Don't forget, quicksand is slow!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that it is
      No way we would use that to do our litter biz

      Delete
  22. Wow. Those are some seriously profound questions. I'll have to reflect on them next time I'm taking a dump.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn, reflect on the loo
      You may find answers that are true

      Delete
  23. These are funny. clever questions, Pat. I especially like the one about "abbreviations" being such a long word. And the lines about a cockpit. And why are cockpits so much smaller from close up?

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha you get a birds eye view
      And it fails to impress you

      Delete
  24. A cockpit, is that where Roosters live?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That could count
      As they crow over the hen amount

      Delete
  25. Such great questions! They awe and amaze,
    I can truly say I was left in a daze.
    But I think the one question that vexes me most
    is why common sense is so uncommon among folks.

    VR Barkowski

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah common it is not
      Must be some kind of evil plot

      Delete
  26. Parkways and driveways blows my mind!
    How did I not notice this before??

    Fantastic questions this week Pat.
    Wish I had some answers :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha sometimes they just slip by
      Just have to stop and wonder why

      Delete
  27. Oh yes,
    and P.S.

    Nice new header design.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you like the new one
      I had done

      Delete
  28. Some of those I've heard before, some I've asked all by myself ("taking" a dump and getting "fixed," to name two), but the one that hit me totally off-guard was "Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?"

    These are the kinds of things that keep me up nights.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I caught the grammar nazi off guard
      I'll have to frame this post in the yard

      Delete
  29. orlin N cassie...seer ee iz lee...haz ya ever wundered ...like bak in de dayz oh old....just wear wuz de peepulz minds....drugs....when they camed up with sum of that stuff...thatz pozed ta bee for KIDS....like humptee dumptee hadda grate fall... or de cow that jumped over de moon....jack fell down N broke hiz crown.....cut off ther tails with a carvin knife....three blind mice.....

    uhh......

    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah they were sure high
      Or it was the aliens from the sky

      Delete
  30. My daughter always asks questions like these and it makes me laugh.

    You've got some good ones we've never thought of before. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fun to look at them all
      As they are quite weird at each hall

      Delete
  31. I've always wondered that about lethal injections. Are they worried the guy is going to get an infection when he's dead?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Afraid they may start a zombie plague
      Or something less vague

      Delete
  32. Good question: Why DO they sterilize the injection site for lethal injections?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guess they want to be humane?
      There at their prison lane

      Delete
  33. Clearly you have too much time on your hands! ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well when stuck in a chair
      Can either type or sit and stare lol

      Delete
    2. your body is old before it's time!
      all you can do is sit and rhyme! ha.

      Delete
    3. With one arm too
      damn I'm good at my zoo

      Delete
  34. I never really thought of humpty dumpty before

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seems many have not
      Here at my plot

      Delete
  35. 'Why do you call it a drive through if you have to stop': That is perfect. Orlin is one smart cat.

    ReplyDelete
  36. You ask questions that our brightest minds have struggled to answer. Personally, I have put aside working on world peace to develop an answer to your "taking a dump" observation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha let me know
      If you crack it at your show

      Delete
  37. Those are some VERY deep questions, and now our heads hurt! We love your new header!

    (If you've had it a little while, we haven't been around this past week.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only been up a week or so
      And yeah I can go deep at my show

      Delete
  38. why Im bury?
    why the life is so?
    Why the Tarsier man is with me?
    why you are so bad with me?
    Why you dont eat a lot of foods?
    Why the cat is really cruel sometimes?
    Why here is cold and there is hot?
    why the world is round?
    Why I born here and not there?
    why the twins laughing me?
    why Dito say me gloria dear?
    why? why? why? why? why?
    zzzzz zzzzz zzzzzzzz zz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow look at you
      Lots to ponder in the dirt at your zoo
      All of those have answers too
      But I'm too lazy to make them come due lol

      Delete
    2. why you are lazy?
      why you made many questions?
      why the cat is. .....?
      why you alwsys...?
      why. why why why lol

      Delete
    3. The cat needs a nap
      So a lazy chap
      But with the why
      I'll bury you further, so no sky haha

      Delete
  39. I'll tell you, snip snip is definitely a fix! Makes no babies or puppies running around my house. That's why it's a fix.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha oh I suppose looking at it from that side
      Gives one pride with their ride haha

      Delete
  40. Now I'm thinking way too hard about the dump one. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha don't go to the brink
      As the dump doesn't need to think

      Delete
  41. Once again, laughter you did cause
    Better than the munchkins of Oz
    Thinking outside the box
    Crazy as a fox
    The devil to pay]
    And just who was first to play
    Throw the poo at a fan
    To see what it does to the man?!?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha might avoid that
      Would make quite the splat
      And cause a frown
      As all goes brown

      Delete
  42. Loved the questions. I wondered about some of them myself. I liked your answers, lol.

    ......dhole

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha fun to retort to
      Here at my zoo

      Delete
  43. questions..
    they just keep comin..
    funny we can question almost anything or anyone :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that we can with ease
      Can even question the breeze

      Delete