Why do you drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?
Because riding a horse costs hay.
Plus there is a mess to clean up.
Now go bug a butt sniffing pup.
Why do they call it a cockpit?
Because strippers are a hit.
Or maybe they get snip snipped,
So their wings don't get clipped.
Why do you get on an airplane?
Maybe because people only want to get in when there is rain.
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
Just to make you spell it wrong.
Why is it called a drive-through if you have to stop?
Maybe the stop and go sounds too much like a bunny hop.
Why is it an alarm clock is going off when it's turned on?
Just to make you confused at dawn.
Why are softballs hard?
First cockpits, now softballs, you have some dirty mind at my yard.
Why does mineral water that is centuries old go bad next year?
Because most of it is not mineral water I fear.
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about it?
I guess it just goes to prove even a nobody can be a hit.
Why do we scrub down and wash up?
You clearly have too much coffee in your cup.
Why do they call it taking a dump, shouldn't it be leaving one?
Well Pat takes my dump for a run.
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
I guess it would be so they get less objections.
Why do they call it getting fixed when afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
That question deserves an encore.
For the cat can attest that after his snip snip,
Nothing comes out even when I get a good grip.
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
Would you rather him be a pirate with a peg leg?
Why do you call it an electrical outlet when you plug things in?
I guess calling it an inlet is a sin.
Why is the number two pencil the most popular yet still number two?
Because I used number one to stab you.
Why don't you give me a direct answer to each question?
Maybe because it would upset my digestion.
And with that the hologram question nut sighed and disappeared from my hut. I guess that future guy does not like it when I lie. Or maybe he was offended by the gas that came out my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.