Tuesday, August 27, 2013

A dVerse 900 Post Show With My Rhyming Flow!

On this dVerse day I have reached post 900 at my bay. Not as big as 1000 though. But soon enough that will show. What to do, what to do? Maybe a whoopdi friggin doo at my zoo? But I can't let that raisin have all the glory. So how about a little dVerse story?

Many had gathered at dVerse. the group was rather perverse. At least by their looks alone. You had Truedessa blabbering on a telephone. Brian gawking at the tip jar. I hope those nickels will get him far. Betsy trying to find a new pet to take home and Rosey was pitching some contest to the dVerse dome.

Alex was demonstrating his ninja skills. It gave the crowd a few thrills. Keith was day dreaming by the jukebox while Grammar Nazi went around correcting everyone like a sly fox. Terry was shining up the bar. It had the shine of a brand new car. Mary was leading her mutts around. Waffles was whining worse than any hound. I think he stubbed his toe. But what do I know?

Hank was already seated. He was first there and never defeated. Folklore was searching for a pun, as she needed a weekend wisecrack while she played in the sun. Lucy was going on about some thing. Al was giving his Captain Caption moniker a ring. Claudia was trying to capture her day in some poetic way. Adam was practicing to be on that Jeopardy show. Elsie was giving off her one eyed glow.

Gloria escaped this fest even though she tried her best, as she was still buried in the dirt. Theresa came in wearing some kiddie shirt. Then right behind her came Manzanita with ruffled fur. She was rather pale. She screamed there was a dead body in the alley who was killed by a nail.

A nail to the eye. What a way to die. It was Mary Kirkland there all dead. I first blamed her rats for putting a nail through her head. They are sneaky rodents, trust me. Ben went on a murder spree. The cops quickly showed up and dVerse was locked down. Until the murderer was found, no one would go out on the town.

Brian gawked away. He was trying to use his powers to find the evil person at his dVerse bay. He really showed his geek side too, after he ran in and out of the loo. Back he came wearing a superhero suit. Looked like something out of a garbage chute. Then he began to scream. He was the second to fall for the murderer's scheme. His suit was laced with man eating acid. Soon he was nothing but bones, I guess it beats getting eaten at Lake Placid.

I think Hank was kinda upset he was not first. so he went to quench his thirst. That was not a good thing to do. He drank poison and dropped dead to. Mary held her mutts close after that. But she bit the dust next at the dVerse mat. It seems she was bit by poisonous fleas. Never let those suckers on your knees.

Alex did his ninja thing. He was done with this crazy murderer at the dVerse wing. But the ceiling fan began to spin really fast and he was made into a thing of the past. His bandana got caught in the blades as he got sucked up. One eye ball even landed in a cup. It was off with his head. It had to be said.

Old one eye went on a swearing tear and really no word she seemed to spare. But as she kept flapping her yap. She fell for the murderer's trap. She walked onto the edge of a board and it sprung up faster than recalling a vacuum cord. She dropped dead with nails in her face. On the plus side it made an extra hole so maybe two eyes she could now embrace.

Truedessa got all lovey dovey in the mix of it all. I guess she thought of a new poem at this murder hall. She stepped up to the mic to try and calm everyone down. Then she went to crispy town. Fried Miss Poet. She smelled like chicken in case you want to know it.

The air continued to crackle as Waffle's whining turned to some kind of crackle. It seemed he tried to tweet from his phone. Should have not tried to get a dial tone. For a virus downloaded into him from his phone. It turned him to ash, right down to the very bone.

Terry had a hammer ready, as Manzanita stood by her holding her weapon steady. Sadly, they never should have stood behind the bar. Terry may have had it shiny like a car. But she never looked over head, noticing that there was a huge worm bed. Flesh eating worms feel from the ceiling. Let's just say for those two there will be no natural healing.

Poor Al thought he was safe in the loo. I guess some loo monster shouted boo. And that was the last we saw of him. Getting yanked down the loo would be rather grim. I wonder how they made him fit? Must have been as slippery as umm spit.

Lucy was trying to get out. She did a little scream and shout. But that didn't get her far. She slipped and whacked her head on the shiny bar. That one was ruled accidental in the end. I guess she wanted to start a new trend.

Adam tried to find the facts that would get the culprit of these dastardly acts. But he had a picture fetish as well. As soon as he went click, he got a look that said, "what the hell?" A bullet shot from his camera and hit poor Rosey in the butt. She sure played ring around the rosey at the dVerse hut. She held her butt and went to scold Adam for the shot. Now the two are in pieces, and I mean by a lot. The camera blew and away they flew. it was rather ewww as they looked like kitty spew.

Keith was still thinking how all of this could happen, trying to come up with a question to ask on his blog as Theresa kept flappin. She was not going to take this. She did not care if something was a miss. She tried to break through the barricaded door. Keith was also ready to explore. They both gave one good kick, thinking one more would do the trick. But before they could do so, both dropped dead from an arrow. By nudging the door they set off a booby trap. Now both are taking a dirt nap.

Folklore was thinking about how to pun booby trap, knowing she would not fall for anything by this sap. She was too redneck for that. I had some money on her, but then I'm not a betting cat. For she drank back a beer ready to gibe some punny cheer. Instead the beer exploded from within. She too looked like a hairball as pieces of her spread across the dVerse bin.

Claudia was a smart one. She was hiding in the dVerse secret panic room until this was done. She thought she was safe from harm until she felt the wall on her arm. The walls began closing in on her and soon she was flatter than a pancake and nothing but a blur.

Betsy and Grammar Nazi were all that remained. Betsy always pretended to be oh so restrained. But then Grammar Nazi was trying to rid the world of bad grammar and he seemed the type to be more sneaky than to just use a hammer. My money was on him, thankfully I don't bet though or my wallet would look rather grim. Grammar Nazi began to burst into flames and it was clear who was behind these murderous games. They say it was spontaneous combustion for the poor guy. Someone slipped something in his pie.

It is always the ones that pretend to be nice. Betsy was not about to make me pay the price. I backed up to the door, ready for whatever she had and then she gave a roar. It sounded like some kind of Tarzan feature or some other horror creature. She turned to slime and her goop went right down the drain. No one was left at the dVerse lane. Was the building haunted or something? That is when I heard a familiar ring.

Was it R? Grumpy Goo? Duck Bill Sherry? Anne or Fran with their war crew? Robyn, WorqueenDan or Humbird? No, it was someone far more absurd. The doors flung open and standing there was Grace just outside the door of the dVerse lair. It seems keeping up Heaven and Grace gave her some kind of Jekyl and Hyde embrace. She declared war on all bloggers and cackled away. Thankfully, they were upgrading the dVerse bay. So before she stepped into the door, Grace became a flat spot on the floor. The ropes had came lose on the piano suspended above, fell on her and she sure felt no love. The cat then trotted out and headed for my sea. It will take me weeks to get all of the body parts out of the fur of little old me.

So how was that for number 900 at my mat? Did your eyes bulge out with this post from the cat? Not my usual affair. But it has been done a time or ten at my lair. That was quite the rhyming mass. Sorry, you all died, except my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

108 comments:

  1. All died eventually what a scare,
    Imagine all the names what a nightmare
    Hank had 2 citations
    Thanks for the mentions
    Pat and the Cat went 900 what a dare!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All kicked the bucket
      But I guess they can say ummm duck it
      As they were a star
      At the dVerse bar
      Out the coroner though will have to truck it

      Delete
  2. That was brilliant! What a way to go - I was beheaded! Yes, it will take some time to clean up that mess.
    Hank should be glad he wasn't first to go.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha was fun to do
      As I laughed all the way through
      All going toast
      At least you didn't catch fire and roast

      Delete
  3. And congratulations on nine hundred posts!
    Need to go practice those Ninja skills some more. I can usually slip in and out faster than the wind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just an off day I suppose
      Depends on how the wind blows

      Delete
  4. Gruesome ways for us to go
    Curtain calls that stop the show
    The play was brilliant, loved the acts
    The audience enjoyed the facts
    The mystery ends without a squirm
    Ask me not, I am a worm
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Congrats on 900, Pat, and an outstanding play.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha all took an act
      And joined the death pact
      Eaten by worms
      Oh such germs
      What a way to go
      Rather be eaten by a crow

      Delete
  5. Congratulations 900 post but, now we're all ghosts
    at the hands of a dVerse post, created by this host
    Dial M for murder, a Hitchcock thriller, with a killer
    I must confess to my blabbering ways, on this 900th day
    singing my poems away, lost without a clue, who knew
    perhaps, it was Colonel Mustard in the ballroom
    with the revolver...bang bang..with a big boom

    Brian was gawking but, was he really stalking???
    as this murderous plot came a knocking
    could it be Betsy you say that would shocking
    no no detective cat has his suspects
    dVerse group you never know what to expect
    oh, mischievous cat you like to have fun
    this was grand to read in the morning sun

    thanks for the mention in this creative story
    but, now I think we need to take inventory
    on all of our body parts, a tip of the hat
    to one smart cat..who lives with Pat..

    This was a delightful treat..with a sinister plot
    I enjoyed it a lot, smiles galore & smiles go miles
    cleaver as ever..

    I was fried my the mic to crispy town, hope I got to
    dance a bit in funky town..lol..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A couple of errors hope you let them slip by as I was writing on the fly, if not I am fried..lol

      Delete
    2. Well I suppose I'll let them go
      Or just hold them for later at my show haha

      Nice use of clue
      With your blabber that came due
      Told you it would be long
      And you tried to sing a song
      Then fried
      Oops you died
      Good then the cat isn't a mutt
      Or he would be in hippy heaven at the dVerse hut
      Lots of bone to chew
      Is that rather eww?
      And smiles galore
      Is always fun at my shore
      Will go for plenty more
      As many future posts are in store
      And always like to have fun
      Under my sun

      Delete
  6. You really know your fans:)

    Lucy from Lucy's Reality

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or I can pretend
      With my death trend

      Delete
  7. THAT is a great 900th post. Congratulations on the big number. Now we can wait for 1000.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Almost at 1000 now
      As I'm so far ahead with my rhyming meow

      Delete
  8. Congrats on 900 at your show
    As you kill everyone you know
    Who's going to be left to read
    Anything at your feed?
    Thank you for sparing me, too
    I can still visit your zoo :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha no problem at all
      Need to have some visitors at my hall
      So you I did spare
      Until next time at my lair

      Delete
  9. Ha ha, I loved the collection of 'perverse people' gathered at your bay!
    So many of the same people who gather around you every day
    Yes, of course, I would be bringing my mutts to bark and play
    They thought Brian's tip jar held something for them, I say!
    And they sniffed out Claudia from her hiding place today
    because they didn't think it right that anyone stay away!

    Congratulations on 900 posts, Pat!
    Wishing you 900 more!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the mutts have some tricks
      Bet they gave the bones licks
      And stole some tips too
      Wonder if they mourned you? lol

      Delete
  10. I've never stepped foot into dVerse
    so I'll just leave you with a curse. wtf? ha.
    And gee, one bad thing about dictation
    is that you will go on and on without hesitation.
    You should have told us to pack a lunch.
    This was not typed with one hand, I have a hunch.
    lol....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that didn't rhyme
      With your cursing crime
      You were teleported there
      And see, not so nice, as you swear hahaha
      Dictation allows for the big ones to come due
      I have dictated a few

      Delete
    2. heaven help us all
      with that dictation thingy at your stall.
      Maybe Orlin will give it a chew
      and relieve us from long winded you.
      hahaha.

      Delete
    3. haha Cassie would be the one for that
      She chews cords way more than the rhyming cat

      Delete
  11. I never thought I'd die from an arrow
    I thought it would be from trying to go down a path narrow
    But an arrow death isn't so bad
    At least a good time was had
    Congratulations on your 900th post
    I think we all loved this one the most

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha it could be worse I suppose
      Still an arrows can cause woes
      900 was fun
      Soon 1000 will be done

      Delete
    2. I forgot to ask something
      I had been distracted by a telephone ring
      Will there be a movie made of this story?
      If so, will my death by arrow be gory?

      Delete
    3. haha it could go on youtube one day
      Never know with my bay

      Delete
    4. That is funny don't tempt the cat or we will be on display
      with our strange ways.. as he kills us one by one but,
      here is the catch we come back to haunt his bay..I will
      sing in his ear day and night full of lovey dovey stuff..haha

      Delete
    5. Oh it can be done
      Might be fun
      Offing all one by one
      The away the cat will run

      Delete
  12. A 900th post
    it gives the most
    a murderous row
    of bloggers we know
    mourn or laugh
    all due to your rhyming ass

    ReplyDelete
  13. dude if i am going out i might as well be in my tights ( i mean spandex) when my body becomes just another of the wrecks, thank for not making it be a nail for me, to the occular processor it would be hard to gawk, my hawk might wilt as well, hell i am a puddle of goo at your zoo, acid eaching me down to primordial poo....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah may as well look good
      There is your hood
      Although when a puddle of goo
      I think it all looks the same no matter your view

      Delete
    2. Brian and me both turned to goo!
      What is wrong with you?
      lol....

      Delete
    3. You are twins
      Have to suffer the same sins

      Delete
  14. Congrats on 900 hilarious rhyming posts
    You certainly are quite the awesome host
    So glad I bit it on a bottle of beer
    At least I went out with good cheer!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah went out having fun
      Under your sun
      Way to be
      As you buzz with glee

      Delete
  15. Man I get scolded for taking pictures of women and the rear

    first at the beach, the park, the mall, the YMCA, and now here.

    A guy can't get a break

    though 900 posts calls for some cake

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha damn you may have to seek some help
      Seems you have a fetish that makes them yelp

      Delete
  16. "Grammar Nazi... like a sly fox." Ha. Love it. Congratulations on the 900 mark.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha Had to go there
      Nice to have 900 at my lair

      Delete
  17. Congrats on 900 posts Pat! Love the crowd, we're everywhere today!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Dear Pat, congratulations on 900 posts. Wow! Is that impressive. I don't know who to congratulate on your creativity. To come up with so many scenarios for so many of your fans is also impressive. You and the cat are quite a team. Thanks for all the laughter. Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad it was fun
      And as it was done
      Ideas just kept popping in
      Here at my bin

      Delete
  19. 900 so far
    Excellence shines at par
    Cat synchronizing along with Pat
    Feast seems to be all set
    Still so many more to go
    It's rhyme time at your show!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah many more to come
      As I beat the drum
      And continue to hum
      Rhyming away with my little rhyming bum

      Delete
  20. haha...you know - i would leave a comment but as i'm flat like a flunder...i cannot hold a pen..ha..smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha could roll yourself up into a pen
      That might work at your den

      Delete
  21. LOL at Rambo Betsy!!

    I knew there's come a day when Hank wouldn't be first. ;)

    And I've been shot in the butt before. I was 12 and it was my best friend's brother. I still remember that wretched BB and that wretched boy being able to run faster than me. Note to Adam...my running skills have improved. ;)

    How appropriate that today I have posted a giveaway. Always like to be in proper alignment, you know. :)

    This was a un post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. a fun post...not an un post (rolling my eyes at myself for the typo, and the need to post a correction).

      Delete
    2. Haha Hank didn't go first
      Really his bubble it burst
      Ouch to being shot in the rear
      Never shot there here
      Burnt it though
      And look, no type

      Delete
  22. So when the first person died, I thought "glad that wasn't me!" Little did I know I was coming to my end soon too. Oh, well. Glad I went with Keith. Hopefully he'll help me kick down the door to heaven as I'm sure they won't be open wide when I arrive.

    Love how Terry died by worms. Working so hard to cleanse herself of them, who knew they'd be the very thing to take her out.

    What a fun post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha your turn came
      With the murderous game
      Dying by worms is not tame
      But in the end all turn out the same

      Delete
  23. She killed them all
    with a smile on her face
    two sides of a coin
    are Heaven and Grace.

    One should learn
    and learn it well
    never meet fellow bloggers
    or you'll wind up in hell.

    Sorry I'm late Cat. I hit the snooze button on the alarm too many times.

    I'll send you a pic of your figure in the next few days. I'm still having trouble getting those highlights perfect. I'll give them one more go 'round then say "it's good enough" I have to have her done by next week as I'm doing commission work now and everything I've painted for the last month or so has been for a client or has sold by private sale. So you might want to think about writing the promo piece you want me to use for the book.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha yeah that they should learn
      At every turn
      And look at you go
      Getting commissions by the ton at your show
      Will work something up soon
      By the rhyming loon

      Delete
  24. Okay, it IS dangerous to visit your visit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Danger all around
      As it can be found

      Delete
  25. Your 900 show murdered bloggers we know. How sad. What a shame. Grace was so bad! But I'm sure that I will be back with my bill to quack for at least one more day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sure you will get your fill
      As you prance about with your bil

      Delete
  26. Whooo hooo... 900 posts!! Heres to 900 more!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 900 more may come
      From my little rhyming bum

      Delete
  27. LOL Imagine my surprise to see my name and my rats in your little rhyme. Congrats on reaching 900!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha there you are
      Rats ahoy at the dVerse bar

      Delete
  28. I'm getting so excited now Pat, 900 posts is a massive landmark and it fills with me with such excitement to realise that #PatHatt1000 (the hashtag I've worked on for it) is happening this year! I assure you though that my toe is fine and that my tweeting has not stopped yet this time! Haha, love this post, happy 900 Pat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 900 is a landmark indeed
      And come December 1000 will be at my feed
      No idea yet what I'll do
      But go ahead and hashtag away that day at your zoo haha

      Delete
  29. They all died so horribly -
    glad I didn't see my name;
    it means I'm still alive
    and I'm not to blame.

    Cool rhyming Pat
    and great work from your cat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope it was Grace
      Taking a murderous embrace haha

      Delete
  30. orlin N cassie...

    all de peepulz bee dead N on de floor
    de catz just shrugged ; walked out de door
    provin once again ....peepulz in yur face
    catz ree mane...de sue peer ee or.... "race"

    =^..^=

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep cats are the best
      Walk out while dead lie that rest

      Delete
  31. Now that all your readers are dead
    Who will read the 1,000th post you shed?

    Congrats on reaching such a high
    I'm in awe; hear me sigh!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll have to search for many more
      And bring them to my shore

      Delete
  32. Nine hundred posts...
    Then the truth came out.
    You killed your fans off
    And smeared guts all about.
    Blood, teeth and eyeballs everywhere,
    Not many of us left now, so we'd better beware!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah your number may be up
      Watch out for what's in your cup

      Delete
  33. Everyone goes,
    I was so close
    on the tip of your blab,
    heading to pub...

    Happy 900,
    should be rewarded
    with no one killed,
    but 900 bill!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A 900 bill
      Works at my hill
      As long as it is bills in the hand
      And not something I have to pay at my land

      Delete
  34. Fit on the loo?
    Why that's nothing new.
    It's a good thing I fit
    when I want to take a sh...poop.

    900! Congratulations!
    That's a lot of staying power.
    You and the cat must have rhyming Viagra.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fit in
      You were flushed down its bin
      I knew that pill did something
      With its virtual ring

      Delete
  35. Whew, that was one whoopdi frickin doo gathering! :)
    And congrats on the 900 posts:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah one big one
      As I went on a rhyming run

      Delete
  36. 900 posts and you've killed them all...
    That's what we name the old cat call.
    What better lair for such a story to brew?
    but in the mind of cat's nemesis: Pat the shrew!

    Shrewy little Pat, telling his story,
    So grim and prim and cat-freaking gory.
    First kill this one and then that one too,
    Even killed one in the cat-freaking loo!

    And where was John during all the killing-while?
    When this one was squished and that one was piled?
    Stabbed in the neck or crushed in the turn-style?
    Dropped in manuer after walking a mile?

    Nooooomeeeeeoooowwwwww......
    john's still out there
    so you better beware!

    Congrats Pats!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha they were turned to ash
      With their bash
      And the cat just trotted away
      Having a very bad day
      John was off in the corner hiding
      His time he was biding
      Then he got sucked into the wall
      Unable to give a call
      Now a permanent fixture there
      At the dVerse lair

      Delete
  37. congratulations on nine hundred posts :)

    ReplyDelete
  38. OMG, I never laughed so hard at so many horrible deaths in my life...LOL...I'm still cackling,..can't breathe...

    This was genius...

    900 posts, wow! I'm so enjoying your blog! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha cackling at your bay
      Getting ready for that Halloween day?
      Glad it was grand
      As it was oh so fun to do in my land

      Delete
  39. Whoa! Our heads are spinning! Concats on 900! Its a big enough number to be super proud. (We will be hitting 500 soon.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Concats on 500 at your sea too
      And 900 is good but 1000 is what we are going for at our zoo

      Delete
  40. Into the Valley of Death rode the 900..... or something!

    Conga-rats on reaching the beginning of the countdown to 1000???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Getting there
      But already up to 965 at my lair

      Delete
  41. I AM SPARED. HAHAHAHA.

    Oh wait, I think this means I'm no longer relevant. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha you weren't there on the post
      That I took the commentators from for this one at my coast

      Delete
  42. Damn...now I know why I haven't been here or DVerse... Final Destination ain't got nothing on u...there's no way that cud be worse

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha can put Final Destination to shame
      With my death game

      Delete
  43. Always enjoy your rhymes, Pat
    They never fail to make me laugh

    ReplyDelete
  44. 900 - well, well, well
    I am clearly in catch-up hell!
    Will never be as funny as you
    Not even if I live to 92!

    Marina

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well you can try
      Just don't let the well run dry

      Delete
  45. Congrats on your 900th post. What an accomplishment!

    ReplyDelete