Friday, August 30, 2013

A Jingle To Make You Tingle

It seems as always the stores are ready for the holidays. All the catalogs and even some sites have such displays. So why not join in with the rest. But I bet I'll do it the best.

The sun is shining, the day is bright.
Well your dining at the table tonight.
Thoughts of reindeer go through your head.
Christmas will soon be here, that's what I said.

Those toes in the sand all nice and tanned.
Will soon need a helping hand and be canned.
Wrapped up in boots and all kinds of socks.
While Deck the Halls kids play on flutes to no shocks.

You'll still be all nice and warm at your place,
As around you a snowstorm begins to race.
But instead of sweating from the heat each day.
You will be wrapped from head to feet at your bay.

Unless of course you shove the heat up so very high.
Then you can sit and love as the sweat continues to fly.
Oh me oh me oh me oh my,
It is the guttter I see under my sky.

But I never intended to go there at all,
Warming up in the cold at your lair is better to have ball.
But at least you won't have to mow the grass or tend to the weeds.
Instead of grab a shovel to get rid of that white mass because of your needs.

Boy, doesn't that make you want to grab a gift and wrap it up.
But hey, you make the spirits lift of your favorite butt sniffing pup.
As he tears it open early and puts all that work down the drain.
You will threaten to give him a swirly and send him down the lane.

Already are you ready to pop a vein in your pretty little head.
Don't get a kink as your neck begins to strain in bed.
I do not think you will see Santa this year, oh the dread.
For I hear his jolly old fat rear, is going to be held up in Club Med.

At least mommy won't do any extracurricular kissing on that night.
But you may find her missing as to Club Med she takes flight.
Then you track her down with your trusty gun.
You swear to make Santa frown and end his Club Med fun.

You go to jail and become known as the santa slayer.
Christmas is now a fail thanks to your added extra layer.
The kiddies cry at every corner of the street.
Even little Jack Horner and his Christmas pie will be beat.

All of that from thinking of Christmas instead of the sun and beach.
Going for something that will have its run but is still out of reach.
Or maybe it's just my crazy mind and some of the stuff that I find.
When I go for a stroll of some kind and turn into crazy rhyming behind.

And an early present for you,
Thanks to Betsy's to fetish at her zoo.
I may not have a green thumb,
But at least I have a green toe and then some.

Now aren't I not better than some Christmas sale that in August begins to set sail? Of course if you're the Santa slayer it may not matter. But at least you can gloat that you saved Santa from getting fatter. He may not get down the chimney if he has to much more mass. So now go to the giant litter box and thank my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

91 comments:

  1. Christmas comes early seems likely enough
    Nothings's unusual with people you trust
    A Christmas sale in August
    Give a try of one so robust
    May well just turn out to be a great blast

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Could very well be
      Beat the rush at your sea
      And have all done
      When it really starts to run
      Filling you with glee

      Delete
  2. I don't want that broccoli now...
    I won't have to mow. That will be pure bliss. Unfortunately, I won't get to shovel snow either. We'd have to get more than a dusting of snow for that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No shoveling snow?
      Damn, that has to be nice at your show

      Delete
  3. A pox on Christmas, ho ho ho
    It's the time we flitter away our dough
    To kill off Santa sounds OK to me
    Who cares if no presents around the tree
    A green toe might be handy for stomping Christmas wine
    Forget that Santa's dead, just drink and have a merry ole time

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha green toe could come in handy
      As long as all know it isn't candy
      And Santa really dead
      Kiddies may cry in bed

      Delete
  4. Only 116 more days til Christmas Day!
    Makes my inner-child say YAY
    I can't wait to watch Christmas movies on the shelf
    Mainly, one called 'Elf'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Elf was grand
      So were a few others across the land

      Delete
  5. That's my kinda man protectin' his baby Mama ho and willin' to go to the slammer for her!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha he would not let her down
      Making the jolly fat guy frown

      Delete
  6. I don't want to think of Christmas yet
    buying all those gifts will put me in debt
    I'd rather sit on the beach and sweat
    too hot jump in the water get all wet
    cooling breeze, watching the sunset
    dreams take flight on the wings of a jet
    swaying to the waves two silhouettes

    It's better than going to jail
    at the hands of club med..
    and away you go with no bail (haha)

    Oh, I do admire those green toe nails..
    with their green florets..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I knew you'd admire the green
      They really set the scene
      And yeah gifts can put one in the hole
      That is why robbing a bank is the goal
      A gift to you and me
      We can gift ourselves with glee haha

      Delete
  7. ewww...your toes are um growing things, might want to get a salve to cure those bings & buns, its tinsle time boys and girls lets have some fun, make a list of your wishes now, holy cow, wheres the snow, oh you dont need that at your show, by the day we open presents its time for easter already, i think its seedy, the overlords of retail are greedy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha they are a sight
      That may be a fright
      Yeah overlords they are
      Surprised they haven't made a holiday where you have to buy a new car

      Delete
  8. Um, Pat...I think you've been eating too many greens,
    as it's showing up in various sheens!
    Even your toes have that hue,
    although it does become you! haha.
    Thanks for playing along
    and for the little jingle song!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shows up in many away
      Even toes at my bay
      May need to take a little off though
      The green stuff is starting to grow

      Delete
  9. Is this the beginning of a Hulk virus, we don't want you to get angry!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will hulk out
      And blow things up out and about

      Delete
  10. Love the picture of the green toe!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No green thumb needed
      When a green toe is seeded

      Delete
  11. Oh, yikes....Christmas!!! I can't embrace Christmas yet....when it is 90 degrees here at the moment. Enjoyed the green toe too. It would definitely compliment a green thumb. LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha both as one
      Could be fun
      And yeah neither can eye
      But the decorations and crap I spy

      Delete
  12. Santa better stay away
    from me here at my bay.

    For dire does his
    bell ring and
    dread he doth bring.

    When one and all
    rush to the mall
    to spend tomorrows dime.

    Oh make him
    go away,
    him and his
    dreadful sleigh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, would be grand
      If you moved to a new land
      And stayed far away
      With his commercialized display

      Delete
  13. Green toes!!!
    Thank you for those!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Christmas, shhhhhh, Geez,I am bemoaning Labor Day!
    Oh,in the States we now skip Thanksgiving Day,
    But Halloween seems to get a big Woo Hoo on its day!
    I try to ignore the outside world and enjoy each Holiday,
    ` ON ITS DAY :) `

    Lucy from Lucy's Reality

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that is the way to be
      There at your sea
      But they still promote away
      Night and day

      Delete
  15. I suppose slaying Santa is even worse than running over the Easter Bunny with a car!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha add that next on your to do list
      Then all the kiddies will really be pissed

      Delete
    2. just don't even call SF "Santa" or say he looks like him. He'll be made as hell. Learned that the hard way. ha.

      Delete
    3. hahaha well you know
      He just needs that cheery glow

      Delete
  16. No, not Christmas, Halloween! That's what fall is all about!
    I simply can't go there now for the season after involves a chill winds howl!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah not a place we need to go
      But at many a store it starts to show

      Delete
  17. Just got back from my summer holiday today, turns to thoughts of Christmas - yikes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha will be here soon
      With its cheery tune

      Delete
  18. aains! our toes are soooooo Green:))) uhg!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha even made you spell bad
      There at your pad

      Delete
    2. haha you said it now
      Aren't they wow!!!!!!!!

      Delete
  19. That just put me in the Christmas spirit. Not!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn, I tried
      Would you believe I lied?

      Delete
  20. I'm green with envy over your pedicure. that takes organic polish to a whole new level. :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hahaha the big about Betsy really made me laugh. I can't believe people are preparing for the Christmas holidays already, it's just insane! People have been in our work recently looking at buying Christmas presents and it's just too early in my opinion!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, it is happening everywhere
      All one can do is give them a glare

      Delete
  22. What's really scary is when you click on the picture and see it really big! lol....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol the green just grows
      It truly flows

      Delete
  23. I haven't seen Christmas in store yet

    but halloween is here I fret

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is all over
      Worse than a leg humping rover

      Delete
  24. Sorry I'm late, we were putting up our Christmas Tree!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ha! best comment of the day right here. :)

      Delete
    2. hahaha really on top of things
      There at your wings

      Delete

  25. orlin N cassie....yur dad kneads ta bee glad therz noe hares in de houz....rock on bugs bunny...

    tho if him haz sum cheeze sauce, he does haza tastee snak close by !!!

    hay, enjoy de week oh end; it bee a three day week oh end heer !! YAY:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Three day weekend here too
      So nice at my zoo
      And sounds like a plan
      A snack like that we are a fan

      Delete
  26. It's still summer, have you emptied your rummer? It's illegal to mention the jolly fat man until the pumpkin has exited the can. Slow down and enjoy back to school season, if you need a profitable reason. Hallmark shark.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah but tell that to the stores
      Who already opened the christmas dpprs

      Delete
  27. It's way too early for Christmas, yet I already saw holiday decorations in Costco.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  28. Green toes... very clever! You have vegetarian feet : )

    ReplyDelete
  29. Broccoli toes! If you want a really warm Christmas, you can go where I'll be: Kaua'i. :D

    Or the equator where it's always summer. Or down under where it will be summer in December.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha good suggestion i suppose
      And bragging, hmph, hope a fly bites your nose haha

      Delete
  30. It looks like your toes are enjoying the warmth before they're bundled up for the winter!

    (Hopped over from Betsy's place to see what was up here.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that they are
      For winter will soon come to my bar

      Delete
  31. Just yesterday
    Eye Broccoli was Word-of-the-Day
    Means opposite of Eye Candy
    Or ugly not dandy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha and ugly they may be
      But beats toes of a zombie

      Delete
  32. Now tell me... did you eat that broccoli after you were done playing footsie with it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha nope, in the trash
      To that my ocd would have not thrown a bash

      Delete
  33. Heehee
    Santa slayer

    I look forward to your posts so much!

    -Michelle

    ReplyDelete
  34. Haha..

    That picture made me think of some sort of out of control foot fungus. *shivers*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL foot fungus is alive
      How will Pat survive

      Delete
  35. Woah! I'm beginning to think you've got some issues. First you off your readers, now Santa!? When will it end!? You are a bad, bad cat ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha the cat has many issues
      He even eats toilet tissues

      Delete
  36. I can not begin to tell you how disturbing this is!!! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha disturbing is fun to do
      Here at my zoo

      Delete
  37. I think mommy did more than cuddle Santa Claus, thats why daddies gift is a restraining order.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I think so too
      Between me and you

      Delete
  38. Are they toes, or are they a side dish with hair?

    ReplyDelete
  39. Christmas...along way to go
    For fire place and presents and some snow
    Sorry for my update
    Yeah, it came a little too late

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A little late is fine
      Snow is not divine

      Delete