Tuesday, September 17, 2013

A dVerse Ear Comes Near!

So as Pat walks down the hall he hears more than a cat call. Many around are rather loud. Some are also rather proud. He kept some in his head of what they said and now the cat will put this dVerse post to bed.

"Take that you ****ing noob."
Think he shot the noob in the boob?
"I have a story to tell"
I bet it is swell.

"Eww ee ahhh."
Plug my ears with my paw.
"Today I am going to do it."
Didn't we already cover that bit?

"Why are you such a pain in the ass?"
 Someone pissed off a lass.
"It is going to rain today."
Thanks for the weather report at my bay.

"Sorry, I stepped on your..."
Just left me hanging a little after four.
"There are two ways this could go."
Obviously watching a TV show.

"Hi honey."
Must be a cat, voice went funny.
"Take your pills today?"
Yes, but thanks anyway.

"Parking there is a bitch."
I feel that itch.
"Brian, did the KFC give you gas?"
Wow the gawker is here taking a pass.

"I can't believe you spent that money."
Won't be calling her honey.
"If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck."
It's a goose crap outta luck?

"Why do you have so many shoes?"
Women and shoes, this is news?
"How many times have you tried that?"
Well if exercise is involved they won't get fat.

"We are out of coffee!"
Oh no, there is a coffee stealing spree.
"That is not what you do with that."
Any guesses? Stumps the cat.

"Cry me a river."
All that water may make me shiver.
"It is not out yet."
Did it get caught in a net?

And that was some of what Pat heard as he walked by each day. Most of them keep things at bay. But some are easy to hear. They just make us peer. Some are also very crass, it hurts the virgin ears of my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

98 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Reached #34
      Just one more
      To cause a tie
      The record of 35

      Hank

      Delete
    2. One more to go
      Hopefully waffles doesn't spoil the show

      Delete
  2. That's not what you do with that - the imagination runs wild...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes it surely does indeed
      Could do a whole post on that at my feed

      Delete
  3. One were to bother what were said
    Wouldn't be any for what was laid
    Plug the ears
    Then no fears
    Cool it, one's terms wouldn't fade

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ear plugs would be nice
      Get them at a cheap price
      But works for me
      I walk by each sea
      And they scurry like mice

      Delete
  4. I agree with Alex, 'That is not what you do with that,' just sets off a whole host of possible scenarios...all very entertaining.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well most entertaining
      Some could be draining

      Delete
  5. oh lord, out of coffee would def cause a hissy and make people be a bit pissy....ha. fun little conversation snippets and without context it is hard to tell what some are attached...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah context is key
      Pfft glad I am not addicted to coffee

      Delete
  6. I know how Brian feels. KFC extra crispy can really cause some explosions from your digestive system.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha Thankfully I don't digest that
      Bad enough at my mat

      Delete
  7. Oh no, not out of coffee!!!
    How can I begin my day without coffee?
    Enjoyed each of these little snippets of an average day. Smiles.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah how will you survive
      I bet you could make it out alive

      Delete
  8. So what do they hear when they walk by your door? Hmmmmm makes me wonder.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me talking to the cat
      So pathetic is Pat lol

      Delete
  9. Virgin ears?
    Tell the peers
    "Cry me a river," my favorite line
    Especially sung by Ella, she is fine
    The river would be salty like the ocean
    But someone can jump in it if they have a notion

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah jump on in
      It isn't a sin
      Skinny dip away
      Tears will change display

      Delete
  10. The walls in my apartment are way too thin
    I hear things that make me both cringe and sometimes grin
    I wish they would be a little less loud when making a baby
    Perhaps I'm misunderstanding the sound though, maybe?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Doubtful I say
      There at your bay
      Heard enough myself
      Could be a magic elf?

      Delete
  11. There must be very thin walls
    in those halls.
    Be careful what you say
    there at your bay!
    ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I only talk to the cat
      So not bad at my mat
      Can hear everything out in the hall
      Can really have a ball

      Delete
    2. They can probably hear you all time
      giving your dictation chime!
      hahahahah.....

      Delete
    3. haha more than likely then can indeed
      Must think I'm deranged at my feed

      Delete
    4. think..or know???
      ok...on that I best go!
      hahahahahahaaaaaaa.....

      Delete
    5. hahahaha not many know how deranged I can be
      So i am safe at my sea
      Wait until you see what I got next up my sleeve
      I got it today and it is Orlin's new pet peeve
      He hates it
      Hissed and spit lol

      Delete
    6. Did you get a dog
      that acts like a hog?

      Delete
    7. haha nope not mutt
      They aren't allowed at our hut
      At our bin,
      Sorta came his twin

      Delete
  12. Virgin ears, my ass!
    You do nothing but sass!

    People need to watch what they say
    they never know who's going to stroll by their bay.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That they do
      At their zoo
      You hurt my ears again
      Such a mean one eye at my den

      Delete
  13. I too laugh at virgin ears
    blips and blurbs from your peers
    funny noises, shouts, and threats
    makes you want to hurl, hide, and fret
    Turn the music up loud
    and float over the crowd!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is the way to be
      Do it with the tv
      Crank it up and they go away
      Unless they are really going at it at their bay

      Delete
  14. KFC could given anyone gas

    that would take the green out of the grass

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah i agree
      Gas would sure come free

      Delete
  15. Poor little ears,
    drowned out by tears.
    And apparently too many shoes.

    But you've captured the years
    as your poetry nears
    the perfection of whose who...

    Good job Pat!
    Now put another pot of coffee on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can keep the coffee
      I'll just write free
      And listen with no choice
      As some umm rejoice

      Delete
  16. Too many shoes? Is there really such a thing?

    ReplyDelete
  17. What exactly are virgin ears? Ones that have never had wax removed?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha those are zombie ears
      And cause fears

      Delete
  18. Replies
    1. May not want to lend an ear
      Could run in fear

      Delete
  19. Dear Pat, I can see that with your imagination and with your ability to listen to dialogue, you have endless plots for children's stories. I wonder if you've ever thought of writing fiction for adults--a novel or short story??? Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Got 4 of those on the go
      5th one is in the pipeline at my show

      Delete
  20. Running out of coffee is a tragedy worth blogging about. I have it happen once in awhile and it's never a welcome thing. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha poor you
      The cat feels for you at my zoo lol

      Delete
  21. KFC, seems a good idea at the time
    But leaves you feeling ill enough to skip a rhyme

    ReplyDelete
  22. Pat, you are beyond clever... this is worthy of reading several times just to catch all the little nuances. Love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha glad I am worthy at my sea
      As they rhymes are set free

      Delete
  23. An eaves dropping Cat,
    what must one
    make of that?

    As you skulk
    around subtle
    with no sound,
    listening in
    while humans
    make a din.

    With their
    chitter and chatter
    they blither and blather
    'bout nothing
    at all
    while you prance
    down the hall.

    This is why I'm moving into the country Cat. If I can see a neighbor from my front porch, that neighbor is too close:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I agree with you
      ?If I could I'd move there too

      Delete
  24. Cry me a river
    I'll scream and I'll shiver
    But bake me a cake
    A new best friend you shall make.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha if I baked you a cake
      Once eaten you may never awake

      Delete
  25. I loved this Pat, the shouts and balls as you walk through the halls are definitely more than petty cat calls.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I loved this Pat, the shouts and balls as you walk through the halls are definitely more than petty cat calls.

    ReplyDelete
  27. running out of coffee is never good..i would cry a river if i would..ha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha cry that river
      But then it may get cold and you may shiver

      Delete
  28. Oh the sounds of apartment life
    Used to make me want to jam my ears with a knife.
    One neighbor and her love of weed
    The other always doing the nasty deed.
    I felt like I won the lottery the day I bought my house.
    Now everything is quiet as a mouse!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh that would be grand
      To get out of apt land
      Been there with the dope heads too
      They are at every zoo

      Delete
  29. Virgin ears would never wrote poems,
    made a rhyme or clever points...

    ReplyDelete
  30. While sneaking down the hall,
    You listen to one and all.
    But you'd better believe it's true...
    They're also listening to you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha not much to hear
      From my rhyming rear

      Delete
  31. KFC gives you gas? Didn't know that. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol I guess so
      They seemed to be ready blow

      Delete
  32. The way people talk
    as past them you walk;
    what they don't know
    is that it's all here at your show.

    Nice out-of-context conversation snippets - a few of them had my mind racing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah you could make up quite the story
      In all its glory
      Just by snippets each day
      As I pass by on my way

      Delete
  33. orlin N cassie...we iz havin big time trubull sneekin inta blogger two day

    HI !!

    had ta meow it :) !!~~~

    ReplyDelete
  34. Sounds like you could have picked any topic and found a conversation to match as you walked down the hall:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha most anything would fit
      And could be a hit

      Delete
  35. KFC doesn't give me gas but it does give me horrible sores in my mouth/gum line. It's horrible because I love the food but hate the side effects =/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blah, I'd surely avoid it after that
      Must be ll the nasty fat

      Delete
  36. Don't mind KFC once in a while ~ And shoes are always on our minds ~

    Happy day Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Always you say
      Geez, the cat will have to chew them all one day

      Delete
  37. Cry me a river, I've used that line before
    I think I've cried a time or two as well
    as the waters swelled and drifted off shore
    as I walked the beach picking up shells

    so, the cat is a lurker & eavesdropper
    he'll twist your words is that proper
    perhaps, he knows who visits BK for a whopper

    What's wrong with too many shoes anyway????
    hope you had a grand day...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha too many shoes are fine by the cat
      He'll eat them in no time flat
      Pat doesn't get the point
      Lets hope no one finds out the cat is a lurker and gets their nose out of joint lol

      Delete
  38. Virgin my ears are not
    But I don't like colorful metaphors a lot
    Seems every day aboard the train
    Someone my ears must stain
    Should bring the iPod and earbuds too
    To keep from hearing others' vocal poo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that would be the way to be
      Can avoid them at your sea
      At least their speak
      As they go up such a creek

      Delete
  39. Coffee...can't run out of it...NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) I would cry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha geez addicted
      Would make you conflicted

      Delete
  40. That's an interesting walk Pat takes!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Yeah, I've used some of these sayings in passing. But I'd crap my pj's if I heard talking like this in the middle of the night!

    .......dhole

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha they are out there
      Talking it up at my lair

      Delete
  42. Your hearing must be mighty good
    or you've got thin doors in your 'hood.
    Fun story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thin doors indeed
      But hearing isn't bad at my feed

      Delete