Sunday, September 15, 2013

Pound Or Rope? Either Way You Have No Hope!

So I could be all clean like Mary but I would rather be contrary. dVerse wants sayings of some kind? I got those coming out my behind. Let's see what can come to pass as I burn the candle on both ends like that Mary lass.

Go Pound Sand Up Your Ass
Now that is rather crass.
I wonder who made that up.
Did they watch a pup?

Maybe they were at the beach,
And went around to reach,
There they found lots of sand.
I bet they figured it wasn't grand.

So they used it from that point on,
To get people off their lawn.
I bet it would be hard to do.
But never trying at my zoo.

Go Piss Up A Rope
Now that would not be dope.
Can it even be done?
It would just be no fun.

They would not say 'there's mud in your eye."
Something else they'd surely spy.
While you sat and had a cry.
Should not try to piss up a rope, fyi.

Did you know it was a song?
Piss up a rope can do no wrong.
Kinda catchy too.
But only an adult should view.

Better To Be Pissed Off Than Pissed On.
I can see how that would dawn.
It is very true too.
Hand and hand could go the last two.

You can wish in one hand and shit in the other than tell me which on fills up first.
My, that is one long arse burst.
I guess if wishes were shit.
You have quite a bit.

You couldn't poor piss out of your boot with the instructions on the heel.
So wordy, what is your deal?
But all of these turn out rather ewww.
So balls on a heifer is all I have left to say at my zoo.

Damn, dVerse made me go all dirty today. Not even any gutter at play. Blame them for that. It is not the cat. Wait! The pound sand one I seem to have at my gate. Said the rope one too at any rate. Okay, you can blame me for being crass. I am such a dirty little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

90 comments:

  1. The cat's right/better to be pissed off than pissed on, or else you'd have a fight/with whoever took aim/and by misdirecting his wee ended up adding fuel to the flame.

    Autumn is almost here, change your gear! :-)

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not autumn yet
      5 days you can bet
      then it will change
      Here at my range

      Delete
  2. Today is Sunday I checked the date
    When I was a lass here was my fate
    My Nana would dress me in my Sunday best
    Say "go play, don't get dirty," ummm must be a test

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah sure a test
      As she wanted you to look your best
      But did you pass or did you fail,
      As the day set sail?

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. Yeah you'd be out of breathe after saying that
      Kind of defies the point at ones mat

      Delete
  4. haha i knew pissing up the rope but sand up the ass,
    that would be one gritty mass
    cant imagine it would feel good in the pass
    i cant believe your OCD let you write this one
    ha, but it was fun

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've heard sand up the ass time and time again
      Here at my den
      Nope not a good feeling at all
      My OCD took a backseat today at my hall

      Delete
    2. no, it wasn't fun.
      It was just plain dumb.
      lol....

      Delete
    3. Sayings are that way
      But the cat had to play

      Delete
  5. This was hilarious Pat, pretty gross in a way but really funny and it justified it, loved this post.

    ReplyDelete
  6. It's Sunday morning and I wish I were in a beach
    And no mud, just sand, instead of these cooling days ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah would be much better indeed
      Instead Fall is taking seed

      Delete
  7. I don't know if I've heard any of these sayings...maybe I have.
    All the sayings I know are Kentucky talk -
    I'm fit to be tied.
    I got a mess o' beans and foundered on 'em.
    Don't sass me, young'un.
    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I heard 1 and 3 you gave
      But not the 2nd at my cave

      Delete
  8. up the rope could do wrong?

    The yellow that would fall would be grosser than an a 80 yr old's thong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha that is very true
      Did you compare the two?

      Delete
  9. Dirty or not still lots of laughs
    Kind of the goings are rather tough
    Take it one at a time
    It's all so sublime
    Then no ones's consider it all daft

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah can be tough
      To give a puff
      More than fluff
      Rather gruff
      But just the right stuff

      Delete
  10. Pat, I actually laughed aloud at yours, Pat. And thanks for the mention. LOL. I would rather expect you to be CONTRARY!! (I try not to live up to my name.) And you definitely achieved greatness when you burned your candle at both ends in order to pen this masterpiece of wit. And you're right, it would really be hard to piss up a rope. Down a rope, yes, but that's another story! And I agree it is better to be pissed off than pissed on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah had to be contrary indeed
      When I saw the post at your feed
      Just took it away
      With the dirty on display
      and piss down a rope can work fine
      Getting an enemy on the other end is divine lol

      Delete
    2. Ha, but you do dirty in a tasteful way
      brightens everyone else's day
      I agree getting an enemy would be divine
      making their skin really shine sublime!

      Smiles. LOL.

      Delete
    3. LOL ewww to thinking about that
      And i try to be a tasteful cat

      Delete
  11. lol My mom used to say some of these.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is where I heard them from
      Especially the go pound sand up your bum

      Delete
  12. Hahaha.... I have heard many of these. May have been told a couple to my face. I never could figure out where pound salt up the arse could even come from.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some army thing I think
      Having that done would sure stink

      Delete
  13. Thanks for the morning laugh
    written in dVerses behalf
    would rather be pissed off
    than pissed on any day
    eww to that I say...
    readers be wary
    as the cat is contrary
    he may kick up some sand
    throughout his land...
    this may be a bit crass
    but, it will soon pass
    I think I'll lie in the grass
    much better than sand up my ass

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, a much better way
      to be at your bay
      But then so is hay
      Romp in that all day lol
      Much was ewww
      But had to come due
      Thanks to dVerse
      I gave a little curse

      Delete
  14. up the rope I never got that? never heard it but I am sure there is a lot I have not heard. Horrors of what I have heard.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah many we have and have not
      Each a horror with their own plot

      Delete
  15. Most things people say can't be done. I guess that is why they say them

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I suppose so
      As they are said high and low

      Delete
  16. Better to be pissed off than pissed on - this was fun. And you bravely took on the phrases that we all hear, or utter, but rarely bring into poetry. A very cool addition to our list of poems today. Thanks for joining in.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad it was fun
      Adding to the dVerse run

      Delete
  17. Sand up the ass would be difficult to pass!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Need a enema to come due
      That may help you

      Delete
  18. Funny poem Pat! It made me laugh from beginning to end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha glad it did at my sea
      Fun to let them fly free

      Delete
  19. ha - now you brought up some really crass phrases here for sure.. better don't teach the cat too much of them - smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah he'd never shut up at my sea
      Being crass all day long with glee

      Delete
  20. I'll be back, I have a sudden urge to go to the litter box!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bury it well
      And don't try going up at your cell

      Delete
  21. Mud in your eye?
    Or pissing up ropes?
    The first I would try.
    The second's for dopes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bet many you try
      Getting the yellow eye
      For there are quite a few
      Dopes in view

      Delete
  22. Piss up a rope? the most ridiculous swear I have ever read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well it is said
      Maybe made up by someone off their med

      Delete
  23. I'm in agreement with the better to be pissed off than on.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Cool.. and always a good laugh...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rather be pissed than pissed off though

      Delete
    2. There is a difference to that
      Hmmm I suppose at ones mat

      Delete
  25. You are definitely contrary! Have a happy week, Pat! I thoroughly enjoyed your two books, by the way! My teacher mind was filled with things I could have done with the books and my third grade boys (and a few contrary girls!). :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha thanks a ton
      Glad they were enjoyed under your sun

      Delete
  26. Pissing up a rope
    Could not be done we hope
    I'd hate to watch that dope
    Who groped that rope
    To pee up it,
    Nope! Not me. I couldn't cope.
    I'd need to scrub my eyeballs with soap.
    And now I'm outta rhymes for ope.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You forgot the Pope
      And come now don't mope
      That is a slippery slope
      Just go and elope
      That is all in my scope
      I'll go away with a lope

      Delete
  27. Go piss up a rope
    Go grope
    And hope
    Nope
    Go find a antelope
    Wearing a cantaloupe
    Smoking soap
    With the Pope

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can you smoke soap
      And still cope
      Down the slope
      With a dope
      That likes to mope
      Over the Pope

      Delete
  28. ah, lots to learn
    at my word canion...
    if not come back soon -
    count me a loon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With every turn
      Always something to learn

      Delete
  29. LOL, my grandfather used these all throughout my childhood. He was a crazy old coot, but I loved him so. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha crazy is the way to be
      At each and every sea

      Delete
  30. I've never understood that pound sand expression.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fun to say
      But yeah not understood at my bay

      Delete
  31. Heard a few of these, but not all?
    And what did your message mean, 50 posts, and greedy me?
    Is there something going on that I'm not aware of,
    wouldn't be unusual, I'm always in the dark!
    And I'm sure some of these I don't want to know the meaning of!
    Isn't ignorance bliss?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beats the heck out of me
      Just in my blogroll like every post from thee
      Magically said it was posted today
      Blogger screwing up at my or your bay

      Delete
    2. Just found 25 posts or mine on my the blogger reading list too. Don't know how it happened, but awhile ago I was working on my blog when the connection keep acting funny. Even our television, was going in and out. I'm blaming a sun spot for screwing with the electronics. Don't know, but I had nothing to do with it.

      Hmm... twists her mustache, 'interesting' Watson, 'most interesting'!

      Delete
    3. Lets blame the sun
      Solar flares are fun

      Delete
  32. Hmmm, Pat makes some really valid points. We don't want to be pissed on, and we'd rather have sand in our bathing suits than you know where!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah we would too
      Nasty to think about at any zoo

      Delete
  33. Some sayings -- holy cow
    I'd hate to learn English -- and how.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah me too
      But sure every language has a few

      Delete
  34. Lol, but you missed "Don't spit into the wind"!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Sometimes I wonder where these sayings originated from ;0

    ......dhole

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just a thought one day
      I guess at someones bay

      Delete
  36. Are both of those real sayings? I have never heard of them and after reading this I think I am glad I havent lol!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yep they have been said
      And roll around in my head

      Delete
  37. Pandas could piss up a rope I reckon, they do pee doing a handstand don't they?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha not in the know
      With how pandas go

      Delete
  38. Dirty Cat..
    haha.. I like the sound of that :P

    ReplyDelete
  39. Woah, now those are quite some filthy sayings to be filling your mouth with! Someone must have been really po'd when they came up with those. I've never heard of any of them except the wish one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha teaching you something new
      Here at my zoo

      Delete