Thursday, October 31, 2013

It Is A Fright For Two Light Hearted Fools This Night!

After aliens, a red neck and a grumpy blue guy, what more can get in the way as we head for the Bora Bora sky? Sadly, it seems a whole lot. For today two bad guys are all hot to trot.

You have a witch,
Who seems to have a glitch.
Not Glitch of a Witch,
That is a whole other ditch.

This witch can't speak.
She is really up the creek.
She has a numb tongue.
Her bell is really rung.

Then there is a guy,
With something that decided to die.
It landed right on his head.
Yeah, that is what I said.

He likes the discovery channel too.
That I bet you never knew.
As he flails around,
Like a stroked out hound.

He also has quite the gawk,
Staring at you like a hawk.
And the fake representation of the rhyming cat,
Really has a bad day thanks to Pat.

Now was that not grand? They so wanted to bring back the king of pop in their land. Sadly they are all dead now. Zombies that can't even plow. Hmmm was that a discovery channel special on bass? I better slink off with my dirty little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Those That You See That Should Be!

So you always see the scary at Halloween and it is always the same old scene. You get these fake monsters and such who look scary to the touch. But the next day they are gone, unless some pass out on your lawn. Yet some scary's are still out there. Let me prove it to you at my lair.

Steroids are bad.
Just look at this lad.
The poster boy.
Buy in bulk, get a free toy.

Drench your face.
Make up you must fully embrace.
Put a clown to shame.
I bet a mime is to blame.

See what I mean?
A golden mime on your screen.
Oh wait that is just lust.
Care for some gold dust?

You better beware.
Who knows what is hiding in that hair.
Probably home to the bogeyman.
Might even be its own trash can.

And man boobs galore.
Those are scary at any shore.
Even the fake kind.
To do this one must be in a bind.

Need I say a word?
I wonder if out comes a plastic turd?
That must be hard to pass.
It might even give plenty of gas.

And still on that train,
Something you could gain.
It would be with you for life.
For an STD she could be your wife.

I just don't know.
This is such a scary show.
Speaking of which,
Even trying to watch that Anger Management thing makes me itch.

 And this one is all tongue.
His belfry may be rung.
But he has a streak.
Even if he is up crazy creek.

And the scariest of all,
This mook who shares his ball.
With another's wife.
Just looking causes strife.

Now I think I have proved my point today at my joint. At least at Halloween they can fit right in at just about every bin. But then the next day they are still that way, with such a scary display. If you wake up to any of them on your grass, bury them like I do stuff in the litter that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

This dVerse Candy Is More Dandy!

So who wants candy anyway? What is the good of that at your bay? I say we change it to something better at each sea. Then age would not matter and we could all get dVerse with glee.

Candy is dandy,
It can be handy.
At getting you fat,
And all of that.

Time for change.
At every range.
Stuff the candy,
In the g-string of Mandy.

Save a buck,
And might get some luck.
Or a slap,
Right to your trap.

Let's give out free gas.
That would get no sass.
Make the greedy go broke.
I hope they choke.

Some free liquor,
Could stop or start a bicker.
Just be a safe picker.
Don't grab one that will make you sicker.

I'd be there is a flash,
If all gave away cash.
The banks should fund it.
In their pants they would shit.

A free car.
At every bar.
Grab the keys,
And away you breeze.

A free trip.
Wouldn't get any lip.
Unless you sent me to Timbuktu.
Then on your mat I'd leave a present for you.

Free coupons could be all the rage.
Could give away a whole page.
To wherever you see fit.
You might get tp'd because of it.

And what is the best,
Beating the rest?
Giveaway nothing at all.
Then you'll be decorated for free as all have a ball.

See all kinds of better ways than using candy trays. You can even get decorated for Christmas early, just make all the trick-or-treaters squirrely. Snow will then surely fall, well after last call. So which would you like to come to pass? I'd take the cash or car or trip or gas for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, October 28, 2013

The Joys Of Toys!

Now a days toys can do much, they can sing and dance and such. But kids are really missing out. They don't know what toys are really all about. The cat has to help them out a bit with a toy fit.

Who needs a remote control,
You could be on a roll.
Who needs batteries anyway.
Just grab a toy and play.

Sit there and one by one,
Having a little light fun.
Take peg after peg and stick it in a screen.
Hours later your light bright work will be serene.

Don't need any hammer,
Instead pick up a slammer.
Hit those cardboard round things.
The Pogs will fly like they had wings.

Oh my God!
It's a hot rod.
That you have to push.
Looks like you'll have to get off your tush.

And why not pretend to be an ape?
But no cheating and using tape.
One by one you must connect.
A barrel of monkeys you can't neglect.

Look it is a pig with a hole.
Filling it is your goal.
Oops, it won't count by itself.
Pull the calculator from the shelf.

Now you have a dog.
It sits there like a bump on a log.
You also have to move that.
At least you won't get fat.

Look it is a Monopoly game.
But this one is oh so lame.
You have to count the money too.
There is no electronic version for you.

An Atari, wow.
We are getting somewhere now.
Two whole buttons you have to press.
Is that hard? Come now, confess.

It's a thing they call a puzzle.
Sorry to a computer screen you can't nuzzle.
Have to take the pieces and put them together.
How are these toys you ever going to weather?

The cat just had to make fun. At least I never used a cap gun. Those things make me run. But better than being Rosey and getting shot in a bun by a BB one to I suppose. Oh the butt cheek woes. Now I will go play with my singing bass. I can just sit and stare at it with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Brains Are Bad And Quite Mad!

So dVerse wants to prove to all that things are not scary at each Halloween hall. Theresa is plenty scary I have to say. She could give one second hand smoke at her bay. After all she was put into a pipe and smoked. I bet Boney choked. Anyway, here is the scariest of all. Gor the killer brain is at my hall.

He's from far away.
He's here to stay.
Whoops, no room.
Here comes the doom.

Gor will get you.
He won't go boo.
You'll get the stink eye.
Then you'll just cry.

For you will fry,
That's no lie.
Those Arous dwellers,
Are tough sellers.

So lock your door.
Avoid the shore.
The floating brain,
Has much to gain.

Beware the air head.
Could brainwash you instead.
Put you through a strainer.
That is a no brainer.

He might just be kind,
Giving you a piece of his mind.
But don't get ahead of yourself.
 He could really be a magic elf.
All brains no brawn.
What a long con.
Don't lose your head,
It just needs to be fed.
Give the brain a book.
It will no longer sook.
Instead go all Johny Five.
Input and it's alive.
The brainless already float by.
What's one more in the sky?
Won't even notice Gor.
He just adds one more.
Brains before beauty.
Don't get snooty.
Wanted: Theresa's Lost Mind!
Floated away, she's in a bind.
Do you mind? Wait, don't mind my behind. Pay no mind to the Krang wannabe. Mindless as a stump is he. I won't mind my own business though. Theresa needs to find her mind too at her show. The cat just wants to help her out. Mind yourself and if you see her mind shout. I may be out of my mind at my grass but as least my mind has not taken off from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Let's Give New A Hand Here At My Land!

So you see it every day in some form or another at your bay. A sign that says "New" then blabbers on about some crap. It is the same across each and every map. Heck, just look at the map to and you will be bombarded with new.

First there is New York.
Dropped years ago by a stork.
Anything that age would be old.
I guess it is just new and bold.

A brand new house.
It doesn't even have a mouse.
But it looks the same as the one next door.
It even has the exact same floor.

A new show this year.
This one will cause fear.
Cop A is going after Bad Guy B.
Hasn't that been done at CBSpinoff's tree?

A brand new car.
You can drive it far.
It is the newest of the 10,000 made.
It's newness will never fade.

Some brand new food.
I don't mean to be rude,
But it looks the same as what I just ate.
It is even on last night's plate.

A brand new phone.
Why does it have the same ring tone?
That version,
Looks oh so worthy of new at your hive.

A brand new flower,
Appeared after a shower.
My, it looks great.
Which is the new one again of the 50 at your gate?

Brand new book.
Have to give it a look.
Guy kills girl, girl kills guy, guy comes back from the dead and eats other guy.
That has so been done under the sky.

Brand new remake.
We wanted a second take.
Remake and new in the same phrase?
Something wrong with that as you gaze.

Brand new sale.
So hit the trail.
It will still be brand new next week.
But you should still have a peek.

New is thrown around a ton and all give it a run, but as much rather new at any zoo? New friend, baby, pet and new is a safe bet. New can be relative I suppose like growing grass. Anyway, there was a new rhyme from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, October 25, 2013

I Will Not Lie As I Answer The How Do I?

On October 24th, 2013 at 9:35am Atlantic time reached the 1 millionth person to view a rhyme!

The cat has been asked here and there how he keeps it all up at his lair. Oh that sounds rather dirty and a bit flirty. But I'm snip snip, so pick up your lip.

How do you keep it up?
Have special coffee in your cup?
Nope, not even one glass.
Care to try again at my grass?

You must have a clone.
That is why there is never a ring tone.
Do I look like a ninja wannabe,
Too shady to let his clones free?

You hire out.
That is how you have time to shout.
Umm with what money I say,
A cat does not get any pay.

The cat has a litter.
So he uses the babysitter.
Using a babysitter you say?
My, someone's in the gutter today.

You can stop time.
So you can keep up the daily rhyme.
Very out of the box with that one.
But nope, although it would be fun.

You wrote 1000 posts before you decided to blog,
So now everything rotates like a cog.
My, I must have really been on it,
With some posts I was able to tell the future a bit.

You have a machine that hooks up to your brain,
Then it transfers thoughts to your blog lane.
Damn, that would be nice.
I bet it costs a hefty price.

You force neighborhood kids to do it.
Not paying them one bit.
Now there is a plan.
I could round up a whole clan.

You just don't sleep.
Easy enough answer at your keep.
Cat's sleep 70% of their life.
So wrong, sorry for the strife.

I give up.
Let's go back to the coffee cup.
Some nice guesses there.
But actually it is far more rare.

Ready to hear the cat secret at his bay? It may cause you a little dismay. So go now if you don't want any strife, I don't want to rule your life. This blog is all in your head. Yep, that is what I said. Really there is nothing here at all. You all just have a rhyming syndrome at your hall. I hear it also causes a case of gas. Now I wiggle off with my imaginary little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Glitch of A Witch Part Fourteen, The Clouds Are Not Serene!

As we appeared in some cloudy place, looking like a heavenly embrace, we all checked to make sure we didn't go crazy like the ninja wannabe, and thankfully we were the same and had not joined the ninja wannabe's crazy spree. I figured it was just him. Maybe one day his bulb began to dim. But how could this be as we now were in the clouds. I guess it beat standing before Betsy's zombie crowds.

"Drazin is home. Drazin is back to Drazin's throne where the great god Duke Drazin will rule all."

"Someone has grown quite the complex."

"Is the demon constipated?"

Pat was back on his King Arthur kick. But Drazin did look like he was going to be sick. I guess that is just the smile of a bald godly mook. All but him knew he was not even the equivalent of a Duke. But we had no time for that as out came some optimistic nut with a weird looking hat.

"What are you supposed to be? God?"

"No, my feline friend. I am Optimistic, I am the question maker, I am peace and love, but my friends call me Keith."

"And you say Drazin has too many names for Drazin's self."

The optimistic clown spun around and began to frown. He actually had a second hack on the back of his head. Why did this guy ever bother to get out of bed?

"No, my feline enemy. I am Pessimistic, I am the answer maker, I am war and death, but my friends still call me Keith."

"Demon, you are easier to understand than this strange little man."

We each took a side and walked around this guy. We figured out it must be different if you live in the sky, as he had no back or butt. He was a two faced optimistic, pessimistic nut. Yes, he had a face on either side of himself. Who let this weirdo off the shelf? It was like the devil and an angel on each shoulder, except this guy was way more bolder.

"So cloud man thing, can you point to the way out?"

"I may be able to."

"I won't do it for you."

"I might do it for you."

"No, I won't."

Even Drazin was thrown for a loop with this guy and his goobly goop. Talk about having a conversation with yourself. We figured we would get more help from an imaginary elf. So we left him chatting all optimistic and pessimistic like and began our cloud hike. But it was like one big maze. After an hour walk we were back in his gaze.

"Drazin has had enough of this two faced thing."

"I thought you were home? Don't you know how to find the exit of your own house?"

"Shut up, Fleabag."

Drazin marched over and grabbed the nut by his optimistic neck. Even with two faces he was not playing with a full deck.

"Tell Drazin where the exit is or Drazin will leave you with only one face."

"I think the exit is to the left."

"Don't listen to that idiot, he is always wrong. Go right!"

This was clearly getting us nowhere. All we could do was sit and stare. How did this guy even go? Wait! I probably do not want to know. Drazin kept whacking him in the face. I think he wanted to put the optimistic one in its place. That is when Pat noticed the static he gave off after each whack. He smiled and also went on the attack.

"Demon, we have to hit them at the same time."

"Drazin is fine with that."

The two kept whacking the optimistic and pessimistic parts of this guy and the static sure began the fly. It was like he was melding together. Soon he spun around like a tornado in bad weather. Pat and Drazin jumped back, lying in wait. That is when the nut revealed his true fate.

"Ahh, I thank you. No longer am I pessimistic or optimistic. I am now realistic."

"Great! A third voice. Keep it up and you will soon have as many as the Fleabags human."

'Quiet, Demon."

We both trotted up behind Pat and the realistic nut threw away his weird hat. He then smiled and started to yap. He kind of did it in a bad sort of rap.

"To get from here,
To over there.
You have to have no fear,
Become more than a pair.

Jumped together,
Jump as one.
Any stormy you can weather.
And get things done.

No way you lose,
No way you die.
Unless the wrong path you choose.
Then you all die."

He spun around once again and then poofed out of sight at his cloudy den. We knew he made no sense at all. So we decided to split up and each try another hall. Once again we all ended up back in the same spot. This idea was not going so hot.

"Drazin is sick and tired of this Piss Pot Place."

"Say that three times fast, godly mook."

"Demon, can barely say it once."

The three of them argued for a while and that is when my brain started to run a mile. the realistic nut was trying to tell us something with his realistic rut. Why do they always have to be so cryptic and crap? I see him again and I'll give him a slap. I told them all the plan and none of them were a fan. Well the three of us were fine, but Drazin did not think it divine.

"If you tell anyone about this, Drazin will skin you alive, Fleabags."

"Being this close to a godly mook is punishment enough. I'll have to lick myself for a week."

"Stop moving so much, Demon."

Pat crawled up on Drazen's shoulders the best he could, holding each of us like a piece of wood. We stood there expecting being as one to work, for of this whole mess that was the only perk. Sadly, it did not work at all until Drazin started bouncing like a ball.

"Drazin isn't going to like this."

"Demon, that makes two of us."

We bounced around for a while and ended up in something rather vile. The four of us were now as one. It was scary by a ton. One body and four heads on display, which body part was which who could say. But there was something there to grip, so I knew that was not mine, as I am snip snip.

"Drazin feels dirty."

"I really need some bleach."

"At least now the godly mook has brains above his shoulders."

We argued with each other for quite a while and this predicament was still very vile. We finally decided the best way to get out of it was to try a spinning fit. We spun in place and before long we were all singing a new song. Like screaming as we went through the clouds and start to fall toward the ground. I hope that optimistic, pessimistic, realistic, love, death, war, question nut who can be called Keith, gets bit somewhere tender by a hound.


Wow, who knew we could all become one? Who knew Keith was bat strat crazy by a ton? Who knows where we will land. Maybe in some giant litter box sand. After all of this I have more than gas I need to pass from my adventurous little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Whoopdi Friggin Doo Gives You A Clue!

Robbie Raisin is here, so have no fear, if you are late there are plenty of others who can relate. But here today on Whoopdi Friggin Doo. I am going to be nice and help all of you. So get ready for your best costume ever. After this you will swear I am clever.

Need a pop?
Well forget the gum drop.
Just chew the fat.
Aren't I a dirty rat?

If you get drunk,
Don't sleep in your trunk.
Test your breath here.
Blow into that center gear.

Catch the big one.
Have tons of fun.
Don't even need a pole.
I guess that depends on the role.

Get a wish.
Instead of a fish.
Rub a ton.
A wish may be spun.

A good vibration.
At your station.
With a big vibrator on hand.
Would that not be grand?

Announce a bun in the oven.
After some lovin.
Or say you want one.
Then have fun.

She can play with Captain Pat Hatt.
Dressed like that.
With one yank,
Could walk the plank.

This sounds like a deal.
You can spin this roulette wheel.
Then you may win.
Either way it's a sin.

Anita Waxin time.
Folklore knows that is a crime.
But then she does it the redneck way.
Still doesn't sound like fun at any bay.

Or you could just get spooned.
And maybe even mooned.
Spooned and mooned,
Beats being marooned.

So there you have it today. Robbie Raisin is spicing up each bay. Don't every say I never helped you out, with my Whoopdi Friggin Doo shout.


Hmmm he was helpful today I suppose, if you humans want to curl your toes. Maybe get weak in the knees. Bah, I'll just send you fleas. Any perk you up today on display at my bay? I may not want to know what comes to pass. I'll go back to cleaning my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

A dVerse Mash That Is Quite The Bash!

So today for dVerse it seems those that are hit with some bad guy curse, want to come out and play. And they would not leave my bay. So I gave them all fleas and away they did breeze.

First came the Shredder.
He had a doubleheader.
Carrying some brain thing.
Krang was all it could sing.

Then there was a zombie lurking.
It left the cat smirking.
For it had clean feet,
As it hobbled down the street.

Next was some vampire.
I knew the situation was not dire.
When it brushed Lady and the Tramp.
So on my neck it did not clamp.

A pirate came due.
He wanted the loot at my zoo.
But I just kicked out his peg leg,
And no longer did he beg.

Then came some cackling witch.
She sure deserved to itch.
Running her mouth about some apple.
Drown her in Snapple.

Then came a Bush.
I wanted to give him a push,
Right in front of a car.
But I just sent fleas from afar.

Another Shredder was in sight.
I bet there was going to be a fight.
But all they did was shake.
Shredder #2 looked like he just ate cake.

Some thing with robot eyes,
Next gave some scary cries.
But I took his batteries away,
No longer did it bother my bay.

Then came the worst of all.
A dog tried to get into my stall.
No, not even a real mutt.
It was was a human cross at my hut.

After that I slammed the door.
I did not want to see anymore.
A human and a dog.
What next? A cute fluffy hog?

It has been a while since I wrote this one under my rhyming sun. For it has been stuck in draft for almost a year, had to wait for the next Halloween to draw near. Saw these creepy things last year. They were something to fear. Especially cake face who wanted an embrace. No way is that coming to pass. I scurried away with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, October 21, 2013

I Thought It Was Bad When They Got Weepy But This Is Just Creepy!

So the cat is going here and there when he noticed something disturbing at his lair. There are nut jobs out there by the ton. But that you knew under your sun. Now they just give a creepy encore and a whole lot more.

You don't like that character on your show.
You want them to go.
Meaning wind up dead.
You want a zombie to rip off their head.

You even smile when they do it.
With you that is such a hit.
Then for others they may weep,
For fake characters at their keep.

Key word there is fake.
As in all made up from take to take.
And I can see, in a way, the weepy.
But no damn way the creepy.

For there are some out there,
Who really really care.
Now they have taken to the message boards,
To cheer the zombie hordes.

And anything of the like,
Then they ask for your head on a pike.
No, not the character in the show.
They want the actual actor/actress to go.

Yep, these people are so bright,
They hide within the night.
Then utter death threats to the real one,
Who plays the character they find no fun.

Some have even had to hire bodyguards.
As they don't know what is in the cards.
Could find a nut at the corner store.
Can't even go out to explore.

Nuts have been there through the ages.
But now with anonymous Internet pages.
They can utter death threats to their delight,
From mommy's basement at night.

And for stupid things to,
That they see in view.
A serial killer character is fine.
But a wife who stands up to her husband is not divine.

Oh no, we can't have that.
Think of the chaos at your mat.
Lets utter a death threat to keep that at bay.
Pffffffffft lock them all in a rubber room I say.

So not only do these idiots lose brain cells watching reality TV, but they also let death threats for real people who play made up people fly free. All for something as stupid as the above. I guess if your fake husband is a crack pot you should still show fake love. You humans are a crazy mass. Stay far away from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

The Mind Of A Child Runs Wild!

So today dVerse wants the cat to go childish at his sea. Umm is that any different than any other day for me? I suppose not. but I'll pretend it is a new plot. So away we go with a childish show.

That little rat,
Ate my cat.
Fur and all,
Like his ball.

Cat in a dog.
Dog with a clog.
Controlled by a cat,
How about that?

Bark into meow,
Run from a cow.
Grass into holes,
For potty strolls.

Climb up a tree,
Swat at a bee.
No longer eat poop,
Or follow the troop.

Stare at a hawk,
Forget a walk.
I need to lick,
Keep the stick.

Cat in a dog,
One big clog.
But how to pass,
More than gas?

Chew on a string?
Give pest control a ring?
Hawk it up,
To be a free pup?

Trust the talking toaster,
Use a help wanted poster.
Along comes a flea,
Dancing with glee.

Ears like a bat,
Under a hat.
Pop your eyes,
Tell no lies.

Open the door,
To something more.
Leap off a cliff,
So butts you can sniff.

Land on a beach,
Rat in reach.
Out comes the cat,
How about that?

Cat out of dog,
Goodbye clog.
Rat in a cat,
How about that?

There you go with my childish flow. Just what came due here at my zoo. And now I have to go back to crass before I get to be too childish of a little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

More Crap They Try To Make Take A Nap!

No matter where you go there is something that is going to get you at your show. But you are literally being gotten each day, as you sit about your bay. Just sit back as we go on the attack.

Curly light bulbs are great.
They save energy at any rate.
But who cares if they poison you.
Away the radiation hits you on cue.

Think the fight between Plasma and LCD TV,
Is just how you view and see?
Plasma actually irradiates the crap out of your home.
Bet they didn't tell you that under their Sony dome?

North Americans are so great.
We just put our heads in the sand and accept the fate.
Unlike Sweden and every other sensible place.
Who monitor this shit and don't embrace.

I bet if you took an EMF reader through your home,
You'd curl your nose up at where you roam.
Because guess what?
You have plenty of this crap at your hut.

Did I already say that?
I am such a silly cat.
But then some need to be told it twice,
Thinking everything is oh so nice.

Right! I say,
Pull your head from more than the bay.
I could get crass,
And say something with mass.

Canada and the United States,
All have such great fates.
Some of the greatest countries on earth.
If you want to have a mutated birth.

Backasswards is the word for it.
Who cares if they bombard us with shit?
That is more pills they can make you swallow,
As in pain you continue to wallow.

So watch your plasma TV,
Walk around in an irradiated sea.
Let the signals mutate you.
I bet it will be fun when instead of speak you moo.

Hard as hell to avoid indeed. But it is there at every single feed. Dirty Electricity runs throughout your home, 40-50 GS is the rate recommended at every other dome. But nope, North America doesn't care and many aren't aware. The average home is 700 GS plus. So 650 GS, at least, above what other places who get in a  fuss, do at their zoo. Hmmm no wonder pills fall like rain. Trust the cat, we're a walking billboard for this at our lane. Now I have done my ranting pass that was rather crass, and I try to avoid such a mass with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Glitch Of A Witch Part Thirteen is Quite The Scary Scene!

We followed the godly mook with his eyes all aglow, down the tunnel wondering what next was going to show. There had to be some way out of here. That is when an interesting light came near. It looked like some evil doers cave. I expected Frankenstein to come out and rant and rave. But the lights switched on and all we saw, was some weird ninja wannabe holding his hand like a claw.

"Drazin expects next he is going to hiss. Fleabags, you have fans everywhere."

"Don't go giving your crazy fans to us. You can keep the ninja wannabe."

"You will not go near my teleportation device. I have worked too hard to secure it. Beware evildoers or I will sing you into submission."

"Drazin thinks we have found someone as crazy as your human, Fleabags."

We watched the ninja wannabe walk over to his teleportation device, which looked so pretty and had to cost quite the price. He stroked it like he was in love with it. I think he used it and his brains got scrambled quite a bit.

"Okay, ninja guy. Let us through or the demon will have his way with you."

"Pat, that sounds kinda wrong."

"Drazin takes it back. Your human is still the craziest."

The ninja wannabe had a determined look on his face. Then he trotted up to us at a steady pace. He laughed and stepped on Drazin's toe. I guess like Tarsier Man he wanted a foe. Drazin grabbed him by the neck and then he gave Drazin's nose a peck.

'Prepare yourselves for the song of death."

The ninja wannabe squirmed free and danced around with such glee. I was right before. He lost his brains in that machine forever more. Just as Drazin and Pat went to attack our ears were assaulted at his evildoer like shack.

"Is that the song the never ends?"

"Yes, it goes on and on my friends. Submit to Ninja Alex and I may let you live."

"Drazin has had enough of this."

Drazin trotted up and grabbed him in a headlock. The ninja wannabe continued to squawk. He kept declaring this was the song of doom, saying it would soon make our head go boom. Annoying as it was I do not think it would make our ears do more than buzz. He finally got the hint that it did not work and then did something that was not a perk.

"My eyes, Demon, give the guy his pajamas back."

"Seen one naked human we seen them all."

Cassie just cleaned herself, as the ninja wannabe hopped around like an elf. A naked one at that, he squirmed his way free of Drazin like a rat, right out of his ninja suit. I think he even scared the godly brute.

"Now Drazin has and wishes Drazin has not seen it all."

"You will never get me. Not when there are more than three."

The ninja wannabe went into the shadows, thankfully for us. He kept shouting and making a fuss. It sounded like he was hulking out or maybe he was choking on a trout. Then he walked out in a new suit, which pleased all including the godly brute. Next he danced around playing a flute then on the walls there seemed to be openings with things coming down a chute.

"Meet the clones. You don't think I could do this all by myself?"

From all sides came a ton of ninja wannabe's and we wanted to run. But as we turned to go away, more blocked our path at this evildoers bay.

"Drazin liked it better when he was naked."

"Does the godly mook have a crush?"

"Shut up, Fleabag."

"Now is not the time, Demon."

The ninja wannabe gave an evil laugh and then used his flute like a staff. He commanded his clones to attack and away they began to whack.

"Suffer fools, suffer!"

We stood there expecting lots of pain, but their assault hurt us about as much as rain. Drazin laughed and clunked a pairs head's together. This storm we all could weather.

"No! I need more clones!"

The ninja wannabe began playing his flute again and more clones entered his evildoer den. I knew what I had to do and slunk around his clone crew. It was as easy as can be. They were about his fast as a slow zombie. I guess when you clone a streaker the clones come out weaker. I jumped up and snatched his flute, tossing it to that Drazin brute. He snapped in two and one by one the clones disappeared from view.

"No! You can't have my precious!"

"Did he really just go all movie rip off?"

Pat just shook his head as the ninja wannabe sprawled out on his teleportation device like a bed. He rubbed it over and over, so much it would even make one a jealous rover. Drazin shook his head and yanked him off. The ninja wannabe continued to scoff. Drazin smiled and hung him on a hook in the wall. I guess that is what happens when you are rather small.

"Don't touch my precious."

"Ninja wannabes, worms and three headed dogs, all from jumping in a fire. Drazin is sick of this place."

Drazin jumped on the teleportation device with all of us, as the poor ninja wannabe continued to fuss. Pat hit a bunch of buttons and we began to feel tingly from head to toe. Then we all disappeared in some weird glow.


Are we going to get out of that weird place? Once more in Candyland will we race? Who knows where we are going to end up this time. I just hope it's nowhere with another worm or mime. Ever see a naked ninja wannabe at your grass? Not a sight that would be recommended by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

And Even More At My Shore!

Tarsier Man does not like to be outdone. So when it comes to new books under my sun, he can't do just one new story. He has to do three as he stands there in all his glory.

In book number four,
The Mailman takes another tour.
It seems all want to stab Tarsier Man.
No one any longer a fan.

But he soon finds out why,
When his new power lets him fly through the sky.
It even has Whoopdi Friggin Doo,
And Robbie Raisin too.

Then with book number five,
He was sitting in his disco secret hive,
When The Astronaut takes over the world's TV.
On every channel he is all they can see.

So Tarsier Man has to end that.
Not just because he is a gnat,
But because he wants an alien bride.
Tarsier Man pictured that and almost died.

In book number six,
Timer pulls out some tricks.
He can bring things to present time,
That are way scarier than a mime.

Dinosaurs and big robots for one.
Tarsier Man wants to run.
Be he stays and fights for the gold,
He figures he will get when victory takes hold.

Number Four - Take a tour

Number Five - view at your hive

Number Six - Give some clicks

And better yet, for today and tomorrow from this pet, the first 3 are FREE. So go download with glee!

Now does that not look like quite the array? That brings the count up to 22 books at my bay. So many containing this nut. It is almost as bad as making one about a mutt. Now they are all there to see, hanging from my book tree. Another three releases have come to pass this month from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The Two Light Hearted Fools Are A Hit. Put That In Your Pipe And Smoke It!

So it looks like the cat is here once more with two lighthearted fools at my shore. They sure do get around. This time there is even mention of a leg humping hound. That is just great, all I need is a mutt at my gate.

Away they go,
Searching high and low,
For Bora Bora's beach.
But it always seems out of reach.

Today they find sand.
The fake representation of the rhyming cat thinks it is grand.
But soon they go for a ride.
It's not really a mutt, I lied.

But Theresa calls it that.
She is really weird to the cat.
Her Hello Kitty fetish and all.
Along with the need to decorate her hall,

With all kinds of Halloween stuff.
But that does not put me in a huff.
The two lighthearted fools will make her go away.
So Halloween won't be every single day.

Are you confused once more?
I guess it is time to explore.
Another video at my zoo.
All of them don't have a clue.

Wow, Boney got high. But to do so poor Theresa had to die. That is such a shame. Terry and Rosey could not even play their giveaway game. At least Halloween isn't every single day. The two lighthearted fools kept that at bay. Poor poor lass. She got stuck in a pipe and smoked thanks to the power of the fake representation of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

A dVerse Pose Of The Rose!

The cat decided to play ring around the rosey today here at his bay. A rose between two thorns at his sea. Yep, so sweet unlike Pat and Cassie. I think I just threw up in my mouth there. Bah, just another hairball at our lair.

A rose has power,
Such a flower.
If I guy has it,
You know he did something to get in shit.

Good for the cat,
Also at his mat.
Makes a nice snack,
Flavor it doesn't lack.

Comes in colors too.
Not just red at ones zoo.
Can even pull a trick,
Leaving wounds to lick.

A person you hate,
At your gate.
Buy a thorny one,
And give it to them under your sun.

Stab them right in the heart.
Or some other part.
Damn, aren't you good,
There in your hood?

Or for those not snip snip,
Can send one for a trip.
Noises that do not delight the cat.
Kinda sound like an annoying gnat.

Went to the gutter.
But you closed the shutter.
What do you expect?
Not hard to detect.

And as around you putter,
They won't for long clutter.
Dead in no time.
Such a crime.

Buy something that dies,
To hear umm cries.
My, what you humans do,
Just for a screw.

This was dVerse and dirty.
At least the cat isn't flirty.
I smell like a rose,
And not like zombie toes.

In blogland roses seem to be everywhere and I just had to give them a go at my lair. Can't be left out of the rosey fun. Now I am done. I will rise above the rose at my grass and still be a rosey little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, October 14, 2013

The Future I See At My Tree!

So the cat invented a time machine but the thing was rather mean. I only let me see headlines for a while and them turned back the dial. Damn thing just won't work right. But I decided to share them at my site.

2042: Taxes are no more!
That is right, they threw them out the door.
Instead the government takes all your money,
And gives you an allowance on days that are sunny.

2024: All food is now GMO produced.
Waste is now so reduced.
Grow your food in a lab.
Who cares if to the hospital you have to take a cab.

2099: Cure for cancer could be here soon.
Right! Lazy minds fed with a spoon.
All are still shit outta luck.
Bow to the almighty buck.

2033: Robots to step in for humans at work.
My that will be such a perk.
You can stay home all day.
Get your allowance in 9 years on a sunny day.

2065: Lindsay Lohan wins presidential election.
At that age could she give anyone an erection?
Does she even now?
Maybe a barn yard cow.

2019: The first computer talks back.
It wanted to go on an attack.
But after playing a thermonuclear war game.
It realized humans were just lame.

2051: Number of extinct animals is greater than alive ones.
But of bugs there are still tons.
That will keep cats at play,
At each and every bay.

2028: Lottery proven to be rigged.
A money pit is surely digged.
I know it is dug,
But I was happy as they all sued the thug.

2035: Houses are put on the moon.
You can now live like a cartoon.
Float around with no cares.
Watch out for evil alien stares.

2020: Pat and The Cat are super rich.
I hope that wasn't a glitch.
The cat would like to be rich in his old age,
Forever going strong on his page.

And those are the ones I got this time. If I find more I'll give them a chime. Any sound appealing to you? The last is the only one we like at our zoo. The rest just gives us gas, especially my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Plenty You Can Do Even With One Left Shoe!

Wait! Don't you already have only one left shoe? Unless you have more than one pair then you may have two. But you will get the drift as I go about my rhyming rift.

One don't work,
Sure isn't a perk.
But you can still win,
In a way at your bin.

For did you know,
You can use either arm to give the horn a blow?
I bet that one you did indeed.
But what about these ones at your feed?

If you're right has a peg,
You can drive with your left leg.
It is easy to do.
Done it for a year at my zoo.

You can also type with one arm.
If the other the keyboard causes harm.
That almost reaches a year,
At my zoo I fear.

Next you can play piano with your toes.
I don't really know how that goes.
But it can easily be done,
With lots of hard work under your sun.

I can't even wiggle one toe at a time.
I bet I could type with them to make a chime.
But that may take a while.
Warning, one shouldn't try it if their feet are vile.

You can also use the steering wheel with your feet.
That would be hard on any street.
But there are some that do.
I'll stick with the left leg at my zoo.

You can also cook with a flask.
Then take a swig to hurry along the task.
That just popped in there.
I bet it is not very rare.

You can also play video games with one hand.
There are some that do it across the land.
Would be tough for a fighting game.
But the one hander could easily maim.

If forced to,
Much can come due.
It may not delight,
And sadly lefty may get jealous of the right.

I think I slipped into the gutter with that last one. But dwelling there can be fun. Just depends on what you want to do, one way or another it can get done at your zoo. At least that usually is the case. Some things with two arms you should not embrace. So have you ever tried to drive with the left leg at your grass? It is not hard, trust my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

A Little Update Here At My Gate!

So way back when here at my den I went and did a little rhyme with all but a mime. Let's face it, if they come here they can't speak so aren't a hit. Many have come and gone, so an update was due at my lawn.

Don't go Standing Into Danger,
Or From Sophie's View you may be a stranger.
Might want to W.I.P. It in the bud,
Or a Daft Scott Lass may hit you with mud.

A Beer for The Shower may take place,
As A Sun Kissed Life you embrace.
About Last Weekend you may ignore.
Alex J. Cavanaugh's blog title is a bore.

Then again Another 920 Spot,
Makes Anything Imagined hot to trot.
Could bring out the bikesbirdsnbeasts.
Blogging Away as you have feasts.

Brian's Home is so inviting.
Coming Home To Myself may find it exciting.
Why Conceive Writing?
Dark Thoughts may lead to biting.

Are you Defending The Pen?
Donna Hole may take offense to that at her den.
Donna K. Weaver, Author though,
May use it on Ed Pilolla, her foe.

Elise Fallson another blog title bore.
Elsie is Writing with mutts on the floor.
Everyday Amazing is a way to live by.
Far Away Series sure does that under her sky.

Holy Ghost Writer is kinda holy.
I am such a Derp, holy moly.
I Think; Therefore, I Yam.
In the Corner of My Eye I see ham.

Be safe Jaywalking the Moon.
Journaling Woman may create a cartoon.
I'm Just Keepin' It Real, Folks.
klahanie must think it is a blogfest hoax.

Life By Chocolate: Robyn Alana Engel's Blog,
In Lucy's Reality she is a name hog.
M.J. Joachim's Writing Tips,
Don't come off Mail4Rosey's lips.

Those Mama Diaries must be long.
Meatballs and Yucca sounds so wrong.
Miranda Hardy sounds so hardy.
Mock Turtle's Musings is so tardy.

Musings of an Unapologetic Dreamer.
My Five Men can say that as she gets out the steamer.
But My Journey with Candida may fall flat.
My Meddling Mind may squash her flat.

Penwasser Place has a Captain Caption.
Poke the Rock a finger contraption.
Fly away on the #1 Rainbow.
Random Scribblings better look out below.

Randoom Blog! Sounds scary.
Read is the New Black may make things get hairy.
Or is that over at Sandra's Blog?
Slam Dunks may have to ask his dog.

Soon we will all be a Snowcatcher.
I'd rather Spit My Pity and be a whine fetcher.
Spitty Speaks.......hmm..... I guess not.
The Angry Lurker gets angry a lot.

The Blue Grumpster should know about such a hum.
Not sure on The Crazy Life of a Writing Mom.
I Wonder if The Eagle's Aerial Perspective,
Is like The Lair of The Silver Fox and objective?

Wait! Objective in that Ruralhood?
The Sunbeam misunderstood.
At least that is what The Word Is.
thecontemplativecat may have to mark a quiz.

And of course Theresa's Mixed Nuts,
Cause the Trout Talkin Tabbies fear with her mutts.
Just one of life's True Wanderings.
Twinkletoe Tails all day you'll be pondering.

VR Barkowski related to Chuck?
Have to ask Wanna Buy A Duck.
Maybe stop at WaystationOne.
But just beware your Writing Jewels may get gawked at a ton.

Damn that sounds bad. Look what Brian does at his pad. Stares at writing jewels all day. Maybe he'll even roll them around and play. So there we go, many show and have come to pass, from my ever so little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Back For More With Another Scary Encore!

And around we go once more to the scary under the Internet shore. But you know the crazies come to my zoo, so maybe they will want to pick up one or two.

Special curls await you.
You can keep your curly crew.
Come catch my bus.
Why would I want to go through such a fuss?

Stylin baby maker at your service man.
You look similar to a guy I knew, Dan?
Accepting cracks of all shapes and sizes.
I bet you like disguises.

Rut filler in need.
They us manure for filler to plant seed.
Clients all say I'm great.
Wow, so why are you looking for a date?

Drowning in this sea of seas.
I hope your sea doesn't freeze.
Zip up and we can meet.
Do you think I walk with the barn door open on the street?

Sizeable toys just in case.
That will make all want to embrace.
Would you help me tie my shoe?
They make Velcro for special people like you.

Stay back unless you want fun.
I think I'll turn around and run.
Simple girl simply looking for a simple guy.
Simply put you need to give Simple Simon a try.

Stik up 4 me baby.
Not even a maybe.
Roses get me in motion.
Flowers make such a commotion.

Wrong way to the promised land.
Seems you have everything in hand.
#1 Rule - Don't Fart At The Table!
I take it your dates were not that of a Disney fable?

Drink, mix, Drink, mix and Drink.
AA is where you can give that wink.
Trying tit once again.
So why are you looking for men?

Paws off until you feally know me.
That is kind of a mixed message from thee.
Style and bots, my two favorite things.
I hope at least your robot sings.

And so the cat braved the crummy dating site once more just to bring you such an encore. That tit one had to be on purpose though. Is someone that stupid at their show? So if you need a lass, you can now find one thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Glitch Of A Witch Part Twelve. Into The Bowels Of Something We Delve!

We are back, technically I guess not back, as we aren't at our shack. Instead we are here in some deranged Candyland getting flack. For what stood before us now was so nasty all you can do is say, wow. Or throw up a hairball. It is your call.

"Drazin is going to take this...this... What the hell is it?"

"You mean the godly mook doesn't know?"

"It is a demon. And I shall send it back to the bowels of hell."

"I think that is where we are already."

Cassie kept making fun of Drazin and Pat while we looked for somewhere to scat. But there was nowhere to go and this nasty thing was putting on a show.

"Ugg, Drazin is going to be sick."

"Watch were thou spews, demon."

Yes, it was a god awful sight. It was at least double Drazin's height. It squirmed closer and closer to us. The thing was even dropping acid puddles of puss. It had a number of arms, which raised some alarms. But the thing only had two feet and it sure thought those tap dancing shoes were neat.

"Manzantia here,
Have no fear.
Just come near.
I'll squirm in your ear.
Circle you like a sphere,
And grab some air from your rear.
Don't shed a tear,
Listen to my cheer."

"Did that demon just say she was going to violate me?"

"Drazin is done with this thing."

Pat came back to his normal state. I think Manzantia's cheer brought back his OCD trait. Drazin went to punch some part of her, when he get thrown back by some sound blur. Manzantia started tap dancing away, sending shockwaves our way.

"You can't beat me.
Can't you see.
I'm the mother of all worms.
Heed to my terms.
Or I'll grid you up for food.
I bet that will be far more rude."

The Worm Queen could rhyme and even keep pretty good time, I will give her that. But no way was she going to live in the cat. We had to get those shoes and then all she could do was sing the blues. Cassie and I slunk along the wall, barely able to see much in his darkened hall. Sadly, we could see her gross self. I bet she could even devour an elf. Drazin and Pat finally caught on and they each tried to use some brawn.

"Drazin has something for you."

"Do I have to touch it? I wish I brought gloves."

But of course those two were no help, all they did was yelp, when she blasted them away. Though their distraction was okay. We each grabbed a shoe and with one yank away we flew. The Worm Queen screamed out as she fell on her back? Butt? Head? Trying to find parts on a worm does bring dread.

"Get back here pussy cats.
Or I'll turn you into hats."

"Is that worm talking dirty and getting rather flirty?"

"Drazin does recall something about a rear. Maybe she needs to be more clear."

Even those two fools were rhyming now. It seemed to make sense somehow. Cassie and I went to work in a few seconds later we trotted off with a smirk. Her shoes had been torn to bits. She then tried to crawl near us and snatche us up with her many mitts.

"Keep your germs and weird sexual fantasies away from me."

Pat ran about, avoiding every shot she tried to take like he was a slippery trout. I guess when it comes to germs he can easily get away from giant worms. We followed suit which just left that Drazin brute.

"Drazin does not run from something that belongs on a fishing pole."

Drazin stood still as Manzantia came near. Even the godly mook does not deserve a worm squirming in him from ear to rear. But he waved us away looking like he had a plan in play. And as she was really near, he let his eyes glow red, showing no fear.

"And on a hook, is where you will go because The Great God Duke Drazin declares it."

"You will die.
I'll make you cry.
What is this I spy.
Noooo, I'm not that high."

Drazin actually grabbed onto the nasty worm queen and she became nothing but an art scene. I call it Worm Queen Stuck In A Spike On The Ceiling That Drips Worms Guts Everywhere. Don't you think that will make people stop and stare? Too wordy I suppose. Worm Guts could be the name to strike a pose.

"I will never fight the vet again over a worm pill."

"I need to find some bleach."

"Drazin has had enough. Giant man boob kings, weird thinkingcap asses, three headed dogs that crap out whiny blue cyclops, a half zombie freak of a woman and now a giant worm thing. Drazin never had so much trouble until Drazin met you fleabags."

The godly mook kept letting his eyes glow and a path finally did show. We stuck close behind him, hoping our next encounter would not be so grim. Oh and just so you don't think he was the bravest at Manzantia's wormy rink. He left a hairball back there to. But away we went hoping home would soon come due.

Did you ever think a giant worm would attack? Blah is all I can say to that at my shack. Good thing Drazin was willing to touch it. It gave the rest of us a fit. Who knew Manzantia was such an evil creation. Of course it could be a bit of an exaggeration. After all with a little wormwood her and her worm offspring would pass right out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

A New Addition To Our Sea. It Is A Mini Me!

So here at my shore there was a certain encore that came to pass about a hand up an ass. I think you all remember that. It spurred an idea for Pat. One that is hated by the cat. I keep trying to squash it flat. But then again it does represent me and can be rather fun to see.

How do you sell?
Do tell?
Why not give this a try.
Give them the old plastic eye.

Show them your hole.
That is a lofty goal.
Oops there is Pat's head.
He should have stayed in bed.

Not dirty at all,
Here at my hall.
At least not yet,
Soon though you can bet.

All will come into focus today,
Here at my bay.
The mini me will play,
Or half me as it has no ass on display.

Pat's hand must be grand.
At least he can make it stand.
I still want to eat it.
Unless of course it becomes a hit.

Now is that song stuck in your head? Do you now get what I said? Pat's head is seen a time or two. I guess he needs to work on ducking at our zoo. But still for a first effort not bad. Plenty more to come at our pad. May even chew up and spit out a certain halloween queen like a trout. I guess we shall see what comes to pass from the mini me of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

A dVerse ABC At My Sea!

Haven't gone the ABC's of Rhyme Time mile in quite some while. It is rather dVerse as well. So I figured what the hell. This one is for work which can so no be a perk.

A is for amount, the big time suck.
But if you can't count, maybe you are in luck.
B is for boss, who gets on your ass.
Unless roles you toss and latch on to their mass.

C is for cat, who you left at home.
At your mat, you'll never know where we roam.
D is for dog, I guess I'll go there.
Might find a log if you work late at your lair.

E for energy, away it will flow.
What started with synergy will no longer glow.
F is for frig, as you can't go for the gold.
Unless in a big rig, then more than frig is told.

G is for gold, that you wish to find.
But none takes hold to your widening behind.
H is for hell, what could be worse?
Where you dwell you can't even curse.

I is for idiot, as there are a few.
From a Canadian to a Cypriot all will come in view.
J is for junk, you'll get it all.
Out comes a trunk burying you behind a wall.

K is for kibble, what you can afford.
Each day take a nibble thinking about pulling the cord.
L is for lazy, so many of those.
Their sight is hazy as they strike a pose.

M is for mutter, which each day you do.
With even more clutter you wish to flush down the loo.
N is for nag, those you will  forever find.
Like some old hag who screws up and wants to hit rewind.

O is for old as the job ages.
Quicker than mold away go your wages.
P is for prattle, there is always one.
Who just has to tattle, I hope they choke on a bun.

Q is for queen, giving the wave.
Think they are so serene coming from their cave.
R is for rank, which you have none.
Won't laugh to the bank, walk or run.

S is for shit, which you seem to take.
Bit by bit, you fantasize about drowning them in a lake.
T is for trouble, which falls on you.
When down comes the rubble you wind up in the loo.

U is for utility, those stupid programs.
Which have no ability and are slower than traffic jams.
V is for vixen, that little show off.
When the higher ups are mix in they give a cough.

W is for week, which drags on by.
No wonder the meek believe the lie.
X  is for xing, as one more than nine,
At least at my wing makes me a thankful feline.

Y is for yes, what they always want to hear.
But just confess, you'd like to shove a pencil in their ear.
Z is for zip, which is now gone.
Here is one tip, don't buy into the work con.

Each and every way here today. Now that was fun and had to be done. Money is a perk, about that is the only thing of work. Now I am done with my work sass with my always working little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, October 7, 2013

A Little Hate At My Gate!

Newsflash: Make a dash, you won't get a rash, as the cat is interviewed on the A to Z blog today so you can skip reruns of MASH.

So as we all know from the countless times the cat has gone on at his show, word verification he surely hates. I would rather watch dogs clean dinner plates. Then there is another that is a pain in the rump. On which, I'd like to take a big dump.

Hopping about,
In and out.
Up and down,
Forget dirty town.

But it is gutter.
Not in a stutter.
Just in a way.
That there it should lay.

Commenting along,
Humming a song.
Then all goes wrong.
Can't hit ding dong.

Stay clear of the gutter.
For now you just mutter.
Sputter and spit.
What is this shit?

Disquis you rule.
You are so cool.
Loved by this fool.
Go drown in a pool.

Google + you suck.
Get hit by a truck.
Tire marks galore.
Flat as the floor.

Now I am bitter.
Sign up through Twitter?
I don't want to tweet.
Go eat zombie feet.

Welcome, embrace my nook,
Sign in through Facebook.
Rather blow it up with a nuke,
Take that you mook.

Give me a ring.
It won't sting.
Here at my wing,
I use this, that and the other thing.

Stick to what works.
Forget the perks.
Name and link.
Or end up in the comment clink.

I just had to get that off my chest, sending it out east to west. Also just to let some know why many comments may not show. If you use such crap, may want to consider making it take a dirt nap. It just gives me gas which is not good for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Pumpkins Abound As They Sprout From The Ground!

So dVerse wants the cat to carve something out. What is that about? It is just too messy at my bay. I would not have a very nice day. Maybe I will just pitch them in Brian's yard. Hey, I'd leave a smiley face card.

My pumpkin has an issue,
It may need at tissue.
Wait! Scratch that.
Give it a diaper, dingbat.

For it was found,
In such pretty ground.
Where the pesticides roam.
Antibiotic filled cows foam.

EMF runs right below,
GMO grows in a row.
Where fumes fill the air,
And no one seems to care.

My pumpkin has no need,
To produce any new seed.
Its guts already bleed,
Knowing nothing of greed.

It's watered every day,
So it can join the fray.
Fluoride heads are great,
So dumb they can relate.

My pumpkin droops,
Eyes like fruit loops.
Still able to see,
That poison is free,

Minus the will,
When you see the bill.
Free is still grand,
Stuck below the sand.

My pumpkin rots,
With the have nots.
Needing a pill,
From a free ill.

Pushed to the brink,
Deeper in the drink,
Unable to think,
Refusing to blink.

My pumpkin knows,
Many new lows,
Tied in pretty bows,
To make believe it glows.

My pumpkin is sure a sad sack. Bet it soon has a heart attack. There is an issue for dVerse and it was not even perverse. I guess next time I will let that come to pass with my head above ground little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Sixteen Brings Some Love. Be Sure And Wear A Glove!

Here we go again with some more crazies that come by my den. They just keep on coming so the cat lets you all see their humming. Why should I be the only one to suffer such a fate? Maybe with some you can relate?

"animal friendship between different s"

What do you think the last word will be? I bet it isn't see.

"rxea name meaning"

I say it means you are in need of a screening or good detox cleaning.

'kill the easter bunny\"

Do you think that slash will help you? Or is that a secret message to the Easter Bunny crew?

"stop touching signs"

No! I will touch signs high and low. I will touch them and in the dark they will glow.

"that fart was so nasty i could smell it for a week later"

And you are telling this to an alligator? How did you end up in my crater?

"Nude hags on the beach"

My, aren't you a peach. I bet you wish they were in reach.

"Weiner with a coating"

Hmmm are you trying to make it slick? You might want to try some spotted dick.

"Spotted dick"

See, what did I tell you? This guy has some at his zoo.

"One eyed creatures that could be real"

Elsie is the star today, I guess old one eye will have to come out and play.

"time never lets me have any fun and it keeps"

It keeps what? Ticking at your hut?

And finally the winner for today sure had a lot to say. They deserve a trophy at their sea. But they won't be getting one from me. Instead they will be here for all to view. Do you think they have a clue?

rubbing two balls make iron and has a hard cast

I bet with the rubbing they had a blast. But if they put iron on them they are probably a thing of the past. Why anyone types such things in mass, is sure unknown to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, October 4, 2013

A Confession From The Big Baby Profession!

How can it be that the most pay goes to the baby? At least if you're the biggest baby of all there at the movie hall. Cry me a river has a whole new meaning when you get a movie that is screening.

Look at me sit in my chair.
I am a human that is so rare.
I have a full head of hair.
And if not, I have a wig to wear.

I sit and suck my thumb all day.
Stopping for a moment or two to have my say.
Wait! The words are not even mine.
I just have to memorize the line.

And if that is too tough for little old me.
I'll just get some cue cards big enough to see.
Then I go back to my fancy chair.
There I will give an evil glare.

It will indicate things will soon head south.
So please me as I stick my thumb in my mouth.
You must read my mind to,
Or I will cry, boo hoo.

Don't be rude,
Get me my food.
I want to have a drink,
Something from the Alps and not a sink.

I don't want to pick out my clothes.
I'm too great to even pick my nose.
So both will be done by you,
Unless you want me to boo hoo.

You may as well bath me while you're at it.
But you have to do it where I sit.
I'll take a shave as well.
Do it now or I'll cause hell.

I'll stomp into my little trailer,
Crying like a drunken sailor.
Oops I meant a newborn baby.
I don't want to hear no or maybe.

Just say yes and get it done.
Do not walk, you better run.
I don't care if you're a nun.
I want you to get it done.

Making me repeat myself is not wise.
For I will let loose my wailing cries.
After all I am such a great actor.
I put to shame those people on Fear Factor.

Call the cat crazy but to be so lazy that you can't even get your own damn drink, you are nothing but a fink. I bet they think their crap don't stink. Probably a better class in the clink. I'm done looking at that so called class, with my crazy but never lazy, little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Glitch Of A Witch Part Eleven. Are We In Heaven?

Finally we got back to this tale of lore, where Betsy become a weird half human half zombie crazy person that can roar. Workqueendan is the size of Timbuktu, and keeps growing, yes, his man boobies do to. Thinkingcap still has her ass complexion as well, meaning she is a donkey, and all was not swell. For we all jumped into the fires of hell. It took us a while to regain some composure, so this story we could continue to tell. So for those not in the know and those that are new, just know this is just going to get crazier at my zoo.

"Drazin knew this was a bad idea. Drazin should never have listened to the Irish."

Drazin glared at Anne who still had the dead blue old one eye draped over her shoulder, hoping to bring her back to life and not be stiff as a boulder. Pat was back to being insane, going down the crazy lane.

"Shut thy mouth, demon."

Yes, he thought he was King Arthur again. I don't know how we put up with him at our den. We were just glad we escaped the battle and weren't like Glory Dear and Brian, basically zombie cattle. And poor crazy Waffles getting choked to death by vine. Glad it did not happen to this feline. And of course there were those two, who we thought were dead but they were back in view.

"Hey Bryan, what do you call a cat that can float?"

"A cat that can float"

"Nope, a flea plane"

The beer guys were floating through the air without a care. They have been here longer than us. Anne of course started the cuss.

"What do you call two guys with no brains?"

"She stumped me, Brandon."

"Bloody wankers."

"Bryan, did you put your wanker some place you shouldn't have?"

"Drazin has had enough of this. Drazin is getting out of here."

"For once I'm with the godly mook."

Cassie and Drazen trotted off, as Anne continue to scoff. Pat and I decided to follow those two. Of course that is when we all began to float and not have a clue. In this space like new place, we all floated all over the place.

"What kind of magic is this, demon?"

Pat tried to swat Drazin with his fake sword, for crazy he really gets the award. Cassie and I had another plan. One of which Anne actually seem to be a fan. We went over to the floating beer guys and made them send out cries. Now they just may have a bloody wanker. They then pointed to some far off land mass that had a building that looked like what would house a banker.

"Go there and you will get the answers."

"Bryan, do you think he stretched it and made it bigger?"

As those two continued to discuss unimportant things, the five of us flew towards the building like we had wings. Drazin was saying his name the whole time and Pat was happy there was no grime. Anne still clung to old dead blue one eye. She just would not accept old one eye had to die.

"Why don't you drop that Cyclops, Drazin does not want to smell her did stink."

Anne's retort was rather crass so on that one I will take a pass. When we hit the landmass, gravity once more came to pass. We all floated back down to the ground and out came some three headed hound. Cerberus it was not. I think it suffered from dry rot.

"Rosey, aren't we supposed to eat cats?"

"Yes, Theresa. Lets have him as a snack."

"No! You guys, eating cats gives you worms."

"Why do things like this always find Drazin?"

We all rolled our eyes, hoping to find someone wise. But all we found was a three headed mutt, that was too busy yapping to itself to even sniff a butt. Terry, Theresa and Rosey all yapped away. I think I would take the beer guys any day.

"So why are you here? What brings you near?"

"Rosey, that was a great rhyme. Can you do it all the time?"

"Terry, that was not a good one. So easy to give a run."

And now they started rhyming to. This mutt really belonged in a zoo. After another five minutes of yapping, Anne began flapping.

"Listen you eejits. We want out of here. We want back home and I want my friend healed."

"I'm sorry to you all but you are now stuck at our hall. You see this is death and there is no way out. It is okay to scream and shout."

They raised an eyebrow, yes each head raised one somehow, as we all just stood there not believing a word they said at their lair. We had been told that a time or ten already. They then stared at the dead blue old one eye, kinda steady.

"But we can fix her and make her purr."

Rosey nodded to each other head and then made good on what she said. She snatched old one eye from Anne's shoulder and swallowed her whole without even letting her smolder.

"You you..."

Anne fell to the ground, wanting to be done with the three headed hound. But realizing she lost her friend, until the three heads concentrated and hit send. Then from there butt out came old one eye as good as new without even a cut.

"Annnnnnnnnnnneeee. Did I just come out of an ass?"

"Well you don't see that everyday."

"Sorcery. Rebirth through a three headed ass."

"Drazin thinks Drazin is going to puke now."

Drazin watched on while Anne hugged old one eye and both began to cry. I admit my ears could not even take that. So Cassie and I took cover behind Pat.

"So how does Drazin get the hell out of here? And don't tell Drazin there is no way or Drazin will behead you three times."

"The demon speaks the truth. Reveal the way or suffer."

Drazin and Pat stood before the three headed mutt. They were both ready to kick its butt.

"Rosey, do you think we should tell. They might not find it swell?"

"Terry, I think we should let them go to town. I bet they come back here with a frown."

"Allow me the privilege girls. I fluff their curls."

We had no idea what the head called Theresa meant. But before either Drazin or Pat could vent. The four of us get sucked up into the sky, and all we heard was old one eye cry.

"Annnnnnnnnnnneeeeee, they are leaving us here."

"Get back here you eejits."

"Don't worry, us girls can stick together and tell stories, swap tales, talk about boys and other joys."

"Besides they will die there. Now Anne, don't swear."

"Hey Brandon, what do you call a rebirth from an ass?"

"Something crass?"

"Nope, Ass-inated"

The three headed mutt grabbed Anne and old one eye in their mouth and trotted off south. They screamed all the way, Anne with such a foul display and old one eye was just plain whiny. They squeezed into the weird banker building door which was rather tiny.

"Where are we now?"

Cassie muttered as we tried to find a way. But what we saw was another rather gruesome display.

"Well Drazin will even take this over watching that cyclops be rebirthed from a three headed mutt."

"I''m with you, demon. And Excalibur is ready."

Pat stuck out his arm and I didn't think it was going to do any harm, as it grew closer and closer. Why could I not still be home and just be a mouser?


So there we go. Once more going all Glitch of a Witch at my show. Did you ever think together Rosey, Theresa and Terry had such power? Other three headed dogs should really cower. At least old one eye is alive. I hope with lots of therapy her rebirth she can survive. What is awaiting us now? I can tell you it is not a three headed cow. And so another part has come to pass. I'm sure many more will come from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.