Thursday, October 3, 2013

Glitch Of A Witch Part Eleven. Are We In Heaven?

Finally we got back to this tale of lore, where Betsy become a weird half human half zombie crazy person that can roar. Workqueendan is the size of Timbuktu, and keeps growing, yes, his man boobies do to. Thinkingcap still has her ass complexion as well, meaning she is a donkey, and all was not swell. For we all jumped into the fires of hell. It took us a while to regain some composure, so this story we could continue to tell. So for those not in the know and those that are new, just know this is just going to get crazier at my zoo.

"Drazin knew this was a bad idea. Drazin should never have listened to the Irish."

Drazin glared at Anne who still had the dead blue old one eye draped over her shoulder, hoping to bring her back to life and not be stiff as a boulder. Pat was back to being insane, going down the crazy lane.

"Shut thy mouth, demon."

Yes, he thought he was King Arthur again. I don't know how we put up with him at our den. We were just glad we escaped the battle and weren't like Glory Dear and Brian, basically zombie cattle. And poor crazy Waffles getting choked to death by vine. Glad it did not happen to this feline. And of course there were those two, who we thought were dead but they were back in view.

"Hey Bryan, what do you call a cat that can float?"

"A cat that can float"

"Nope, a flea plane"

The beer guys were floating through the air without a care. They have been here longer than us. Anne of course started the cuss.

"What do you call two guys with no brains?"

"She stumped me, Brandon."

"Bloody wankers."

"Bryan, did you put your wanker some place you shouldn't have?"

"Drazin has had enough of this. Drazin is getting out of here."

"For once I'm with the godly mook."

Cassie and Drazen trotted off, as Anne continue to scoff. Pat and I decided to follow those two. Of course that is when we all began to float and not have a clue. In this space like new place, we all floated all over the place.

"What kind of magic is this, demon?"

Pat tried to swat Drazin with his fake sword, for crazy he really gets the award. Cassie and I had another plan. One of which Anne actually seem to be a fan. We went over to the floating beer guys and made them send out cries. Now they just may have a bloody wanker. They then pointed to some far off land mass that had a building that looked like what would house a banker.

"Go there and you will get the answers."

"Bryan, do you think he stretched it and made it bigger?"

As those two continued to discuss unimportant things, the five of us flew towards the building like we had wings. Drazin was saying his name the whole time and Pat was happy there was no grime. Anne still clung to old dead blue one eye. She just would not accept old one eye had to die.

"Why don't you drop that Cyclops, Drazin does not want to smell her did stink."

Anne's retort was rather crass so on that one I will take a pass. When we hit the landmass, gravity once more came to pass. We all floated back down to the ground and out came some three headed hound. Cerberus it was not. I think it suffered from dry rot.

"Rosey, aren't we supposed to eat cats?"

"Yes, Theresa. Lets have him as a snack."

"No! You guys, eating cats gives you worms."

"Why do things like this always find Drazin?"

We all rolled our eyes, hoping to find someone wise. But all we found was a three headed mutt, that was too busy yapping to itself to even sniff a butt. Terry, Theresa and Rosey all yapped away. I think I would take the beer guys any day.

"So why are you here? What brings you near?"

"Rosey, that was a great rhyme. Can you do it all the time?"

"Terry, that was not a good one. So easy to give a run."

And now they started rhyming to. This mutt really belonged in a zoo. After another five minutes of yapping, Anne began flapping.

"Listen you eejits. We want out of here. We want back home and I want my friend healed."

"I'm sorry to you all but you are now stuck at our hall. You see this is death and there is no way out. It is okay to scream and shout."

They raised an eyebrow, yes each head raised one somehow, as we all just stood there not believing a word they said at their lair. We had been told that a time or ten already. They then stared at the dead blue old one eye, kinda steady.

"But we can fix her and make her purr."

Rosey nodded to each other head and then made good on what she said. She snatched old one eye from Anne's shoulder and swallowed her whole without even letting her smolder.

"You you..."

Anne fell to the ground, wanting to be done with the three headed hound. But realizing she lost her friend, until the three heads concentrated and hit send. Then from there butt out came old one eye as good as new without even a cut.

"Annnnnnnnnnnneeee. Did I just come out of an ass?"

"Well you don't see that everyday."

"Sorcery. Rebirth through a three headed ass."

"Drazin thinks Drazin is going to puke now."

Drazin watched on while Anne hugged old one eye and both began to cry. I admit my ears could not even take that. So Cassie and I took cover behind Pat.

"So how does Drazin get the hell out of here? And don't tell Drazin there is no way or Drazin will behead you three times."

"The demon speaks the truth. Reveal the way or suffer."

Drazin and Pat stood before the three headed mutt. They were both ready to kick its butt.

"Rosey, do you think we should tell. They might not find it swell?"

"Terry, I think we should let them go to town. I bet they come back here with a frown."

"Allow me the privilege girls. I fluff their curls."

We had no idea what the head called Theresa meant. But before either Drazin or Pat could vent. The four of us get sucked up into the sky, and all we heard was old one eye cry.

"Annnnnnnnnnnneeeeee, they are leaving us here."

"Get back here you eejits."

"Don't worry, us girls can stick together and tell stories, swap tales, talk about boys and other joys."

"Besides they will die there. Now Anne, don't swear."

"Hey Brandon, what do you call a rebirth from an ass?"

"Something crass?"

"Nope, Ass-inated"

The three headed mutt grabbed Anne and old one eye in their mouth and trotted off south. They screamed all the way, Anne with such a foul display and old one eye was just plain whiny. They squeezed into the weird banker building door which was rather tiny.

"Where are we now?"

Cassie muttered as we tried to find a way. But what we saw was another rather gruesome display.

"Well Drazin will even take this over watching that cyclops be rebirthed from a three headed mutt."

"I''m with you, demon. And Excalibur is ready."

Pat stuck out his arm and I didn't think it was going to do any harm, as it grew closer and closer. Why could I not still be home and just be a mouser?

***************************************

So there we go. Once more going all Glitch of a Witch at my show. Did you ever think together Rosey, Theresa and Terry had such power? Other three headed dogs should really cower. At least old one eye is alive. I hope with lots of therapy her rebirth she can survive. What is awaiting us now? I can tell you it is not a three headed cow. And so another part has come to pass. I'm sure many more will come from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

95 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Hank
      You can be happy for 2 things this early morn
      Be delighted it's the one # and not how many years since you were born.
      Congratulations and enjoy your day

      Delete
    2. There you go
      Made it half a decade at my show

      Delete
    3. Wonderful Truedessa and Manzi
      Thanks Ma'am seeing both at my #50!

      Hank

      Delete
  2. Without a break it's #50
    Pat says it's being nifty!
    It's half a century
    It's being happy!

    Hank

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  3. Eating cats gives you worms? Didn't know that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah might want to avoid that
      There at your mat

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  4. Replies
    1. Poor one eye
      At least she didn't really die

      Delete
  5. Good Morning wild ride on this screen
    never now where Pat and the cats will go
    some crazy images might make you scream
    always fun as he puts on an adventurous show
    as Drazin and friends come into the scene
    holding magical power this I did not know

    enjoy your day at your bay...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We go all around
      Never know what will be found
      With candy land in sight
      Except this one is a fright

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    2. Oops should say know...too early I guess...

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    3. I got the drift
      Early morning you aren't swift
      I'm keeping count too
      Of all the mistakes you make at my zoo lol

      Delete
  6. How do you even recover after being rebirthed from a three headed ass?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gonna need therapy up the wazoo
      To surely come due

      Delete
  7. *sigh*

    It began when I opened the page
    my mind was filled with rage
    I saw you treated me like a plant
    and I wanted to go on a rant
    then I read your next installment
    and found it totally abhorrent
    to my innocent senses
    it's filled with so many offenses
    birthing me out an ass
    is just so very crass
    but what can I expect
    from such a reject
    as the cat
    at his mat

    ~~LOVED this Pat! Good to see the "classics" again!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're ALIVE, you're ALIVE. Thank God you're ALIVE. Damn Cat brought you back in a rather shitty way, but he brought you back! Let's do hurt him :)

      Delete
    2. LOL Anne carried you around like a dead flower
      Until she found a higher power
      Who knew it would be a three headed mutt
      That would rebirth you out its but
      You were sure treated like shit
      But at least you are alive to tell it
      A shit storm in the night
      Climb some stairs, it will be alright

      Delete
    3. Anne, I think the cat deserves some harm for what he's put me through. Killing me, birthing me out an ass, calling me whiny. It never ends! Let's get him!

      Cat, your ass is mine. Watch yourself. I'll take my stairs and beat you over the head with them!

      Delete
    4. You will never climb them that way
      Then you will whine some more at your bay
      I guess it would add material to use
      I'll call the spca if you abuse
      At least you got birthed out a three headed dog's ass
      And not an actually ass, donkey, gave you a pass

      Delete
    5. You were mythical crap
      That deserves to take a lap

      Delete
    6. I've climbed the steps at my shore
      I can do it once more
      go ahead and call the police
      they'll take YOU because of fleas!

      Delete
    7. Pfft when I give them fleas on their knees
      Away I'll breeze
      Then when they get done scratching
      Seeing the amazement of a cyclops on you they'll be latching

      Delete
  8. What an adventure befell the five
    Man what luck to get out alive
    The smell of death was in the air
    A mouser at home would be better fare
    A cyclops reborn from a 3-headed ass
    At least all the heads had a bit of the class
    2 T's and an R on a yippity yap
    Chattering on and don't give a rap
    How exciting that tale is to unload
    Now to go home on a yellow brick road

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A fun tale
      To hit the trail
      And use the crew
      At my zoo
      Drazin too
      Pat with a loose screw
      And Cassie and the cat
      But next week at my mat
      Along comes you
      You turn out rather ewww hahahaha

      Delete
    2. OMG I shake in fright
      I'll walk a rope that's very tight
      Depends upon the mood Cat's in
      I'll have to take it on the chin.

      Delete
    3. haha oh it will be fun
      But the cat will want to run

      Delete
  9. I'm sure Rosey, whomever she is, is a kind-hearted soul who would apologize profusely to Anne for eating her little friend.

    I'm also quite sure Terry, Theresa & Rosey could rival the Beer Guys any day w/their conversation.

    This post doesn't have anything to do w/Theresa calling off the truce and decorating her yard w/a Pat Hatt theme does it? buwhahaha to you both!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well the kind hearted Rosey did bring her back alive
      Indigestion I hope she can survive
      Snacking on a cyclops can be rough
      That one eyeball is rather tough
      Sure they can indeed
      And nope, this was done before the truce was even made at my feed

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    2. We will call ourselves the Three Musketeers. We will slay every worm in sight and even those that hide in fright.

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    3. haha worm slayers you say
      I'd watch it at my bay

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  10. I'd forgotten how you'd left this off you foul fetid feline. Thanks for bringing Elsie back but did you have to re-birth her out of the ass of a three headed hound? Of course you did, you arsemonkey.

    This was fun Cat. I'm having flashbacks to Pringle cans filled with poo, fleas on knees, Viking Women, alien probes and surveillance cameras underneath your bed. By the way, I've not destroyed the tapes showing what you get up to when you think no one is watching :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha need to bring her back alive
      In a way we could all survive
      If some one gave the blue cyclops mouth to mouth
      They'd be left with a hideous growth
      A flesh eating one
      Then they'd be dead to under the candyland sun
      So better she come out an ass
      Wonder if she stunk worse than gas?

      haha flashing back to times of fun
      When plenty was given a run
      The tapes will only add to my fame
      If you have what you claim

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    2. Those were fun times indeed Cat, fun times. But nothing good lasts forever and the old guard gets replaced by the new guard. But to our credit, the old guard remains loyal.

      Delete
    3. Yeah everything comes to and end
      But the cat will always be right around the bend

      Delete
  11. Wow..it's been a while for this!
    Can't remember chapter 10..I guess that's bliss!
    hahaha...

    Off to the auction I go....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I remembered the ending to it
      But went back to refresh a bit
      Now that I have the dictation thing
      Can keep on going at my wing

      Delete
  12. Don't you hate when people think they're King Arthur

    At least they play nicer than those pretending to be Mordred

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah the play much nicer that way
      Being all regal at their bay

      Delete
  13. hahahahaha...not sure if the cure, or at least the intestinal adventure is worth the resurrection, couldnt i come back out via C section, and you def have to watch where you put you wanker, else you walk around with a clanker of canker

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah might want to remain dead
      How would you get such stuff out of your head
      C section would be rough
      But at least you wouldn't have to go through the second half of the stuff

      Delete
  14. Ass birth jokes? Discussing unimportant things? Completely oblivious to the world around them? It's as if you know us in person. It's kind of eerie.

    We both loved this. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha got you down
      In candy land town
      Glad it was enjoyed too
      Will both be back down the road at my zoo

      Delete
  15. I thought this was some of your best writing of this style... there is a slight difference; and I am so glad I got to see it! Thanks! jean xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah the cat breaks out new writing ways once and a while
      When he goes the story lane mile

      Delete
  16. A three headed mutt
    (sounds like a slut)
    I'd like to see it strut
    but not around MY hut!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Good joke with the ass. Are you sure it wasn't a wind they were trying to pass? :-)

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Could have been indeed
      But out plopped a cyclops seed

      Delete
    2. By the way, the video is playing now/Gave it a kick up the bum and began to work somehow! :-)

      Greetings from London.

      Delete
    3. Will have a look
      To see if the kick worked for my nook

      Delete
  18. Butt of course I liked this too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Butts all around
      With a three headed hound

      Delete
  19. A wild ride indeed, sounds like interesting folk in your feed :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Pat, I think you might be the *most* original writer on the planet. There. I said it. :) I really do think everything you create is fresh, humorous, and fun. Thanks for this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Original I try to be
      Here at my sea
      But most on the earth?
      Damn, my ego is now sure something of worth

      Delete
  21. I'm definitely waiting to hear what happens next! I got a kick out of the flea plane joke after flying in a number of float planes myself!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the beer guys
      Crack jokes as they swarm around like flies

      Delete
  22. This could be the cousin of the "Bremen Town Musicians". I would imagine this crew could make do with a whale of a wail.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Had to look that up
      It had all including a pup

      Delete
  23. I'd better tell Schultz that eating cats can give him worms. I don't think he knows that! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah he might want to watch out
      Those worms could cause blout

      Delete
  24. many more will come from your little rhyming bum
    sorry, I skipped some...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that is fine
      Plenty left from the feline

      Delete
  25. A 3 headed mutt. With the heads mentioned, that sounds like one sexy dog! Maybe Pat should be nice to that dog. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Scorn 3 together, there's really bound to be trouble ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha not afraid at my zoo
      Just throw the three headed dog a bone and then slip from view

      Delete
    2. Can you throw Johnny Depp at us instead?

      Delete
    3. As Edward Scissorhands maybe
      Then he could chop up thee

      Delete
  26. a cat as a snack...better not me thinks...smiles... and the book of rhymes..ha...i knew you would fall for this...smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that out sure stuck out
      Not sure what eating cat is about

      Delete
  27. I always enjoy reading your posts. Quite fun.

    ReplyDelete
  28. No eating cats at the zoo. Though it is an interesting rebirth theory.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah a fun theory
      Although not very cheery

      Delete
  29. I imagine you laughing while writing this for some reason Pat, maybe it's because the only person who finds the three headed dog more funny and amusing than me is yourself, so glad to get another part of this, it was well worth the wait I tell you that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha oh yes I laughed a while
      Getting old one eye with something vile

      Delete
  30. Geez, I was getting a bit Hotel California-eyed as I read this... "Eejits..." I'm going to be giggling at that all night!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha eejits is a fun word
      To use when things get absurd

      Delete
  31. What an adventure ~ I had fun reading the comments too, smiles ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Comments are fun as well
      As the cat gets some to give him hell

      Delete
  32. Wow, masterful story teller. Who thinks of rebirth that way

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My crazy mind
      Much there one can find

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  33. Pat, you live in an unusual world! You never know what will happen, or to whom!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha nope, just never know
      As I'll go anywhere at my shoe

      Delete
  34. I'll never understand how Brandon and Bryan managed to stay alive past paragraph 1.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the beery guys survive
      Always seem to get out alive

      Delete
  35. I agree with what Morgan's comment herer at your zoo
    Most original writer award should go to you
    A fascinating character, that ole Drazin
    Does he like raisins?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Drazin sure is original indeed
      He was thought up at another feed

      Delete