Thursday, October 24, 2013

Glitch of A Witch Part Fourteen, The Clouds Are Not Serene!

As we appeared in some cloudy place, looking like a heavenly embrace, we all checked to make sure we didn't go crazy like the ninja wannabe, and thankfully we were the same and had not joined the ninja wannabe's crazy spree. I figured it was just him. Maybe one day his bulb began to dim. But how could this be as we now were in the clouds. I guess it beat standing before Betsy's zombie crowds.

"Drazin is home. Drazin is back to Drazin's throne where the great god Duke Drazin will rule all."

"Someone has grown quite the complex."

"Is the demon constipated?"

Pat was back on his King Arthur kick. But Drazin did look like he was going to be sick. I guess that is just the smile of a bald godly mook. All but him knew he was not even the equivalent of a Duke. But we had no time for that as out came some optimistic nut with a weird looking hat.

"What are you supposed to be? God?"

"No, my feline friend. I am Optimistic, I am the question maker, I am peace and love, but my friends call me Keith."

"And you say Drazin has too many names for Drazin's self."

The optimistic clown spun around and began to frown. He actually had a second hack on the back of his head. Why did this guy ever bother to get out of bed?

"No, my feline enemy. I am Pessimistic, I am the answer maker, I am war and death, but my friends still call me Keith."

"Demon, you are easier to understand than this strange little man."

We each took a side and walked around this guy. We figured out it must be different if you live in the sky, as he had no back or butt. He was a two faced optimistic, pessimistic nut. Yes, he had a face on either side of himself. Who let this weirdo off the shelf? It was like the devil and an angel on each shoulder, except this guy was way more bolder.

"So cloud man thing, can you point to the way out?"

"I may be able to."

"I won't do it for you."

"I might do it for you."

"No, I won't."

Even Drazin was thrown for a loop with this guy and his goobly goop. Talk about having a conversation with yourself. We figured we would get more help from an imaginary elf. So we left him chatting all optimistic and pessimistic like and began our cloud hike. But it was like one big maze. After an hour walk we were back in his gaze.

"Drazin has had enough of this two faced thing."

"I thought you were home? Don't you know how to find the exit of your own house?"

"Shut up, Fleabag."

Drazin marched over and grabbed the nut by his optimistic neck. Even with two faces he was not playing with a full deck.

"Tell Drazin where the exit is or Drazin will leave you with only one face."

"I think the exit is to the left."

"Don't listen to that idiot, he is always wrong. Go right!"

This was clearly getting us nowhere. All we could do was sit and stare. How did this guy even go? Wait! I probably do not want to know. Drazin kept whacking him in the face. I think he wanted to put the optimistic one in its place. That is when Pat noticed the static he gave off after each whack. He smiled and also went on the attack.

"Demon, we have to hit them at the same time."

"Drazin is fine with that."

The two kept whacking the optimistic and pessimistic parts of this guy and the static sure began the fly. It was like he was melding together. Soon he spun around like a tornado in bad weather. Pat and Drazin jumped back, lying in wait. That is when the nut revealed his true fate.

"Ahh, I thank you. No longer am I pessimistic or optimistic. I am now realistic."

"Great! A third voice. Keep it up and you will soon have as many as the Fleabags human."

'Quiet, Demon."

We both trotted up behind Pat and the realistic nut threw away his weird hat. He then smiled and started to yap. He kind of did it in a bad sort of rap.

"To get from here,
To over there.
You have to have no fear,
Become more than a pair.

Jumped together,
Jump as one.
Any stormy you can weather.
And get things done.

No way you lose,
No way you die.
Unless the wrong path you choose.
Then you all die."

He spun around once again and then poofed out of sight at his cloudy den. We knew he made no sense at all. So we decided to split up and each try another hall. Once again we all ended up back in the same spot. This idea was not going so hot.

"Drazin is sick and tired of this Piss Pot Place."

"Say that three times fast, godly mook."

"Demon, can barely say it once."

The three of them argued for a while and that is when my brain started to run a mile. the realistic nut was trying to tell us something with his realistic rut. Why do they always have to be so cryptic and crap? I see him again and I'll give him a slap. I told them all the plan and none of them were a fan. Well the three of us were fine, but Drazin did not think it divine.

"If you tell anyone about this, Drazin will skin you alive, Fleabags."

"Being this close to a godly mook is punishment enough. I'll have to lick myself for a week."

"Stop moving so much, Demon."

Pat crawled up on Drazen's shoulders the best he could, holding each of us like a piece of wood. We stood there expecting being as one to work, for of this whole mess that was the only perk. Sadly, it did not work at all until Drazin started bouncing like a ball.

"Drazin isn't going to like this."

"Demon, that makes two of us."

We bounced around for a while and ended up in something rather vile. The four of us were now as one. It was scary by a ton. One body and four heads on display, which body part was which who could say. But there was something there to grip, so I knew that was not mine, as I am snip snip.

"Drazin feels dirty."

"I really need some bleach."

"At least now the godly mook has brains above his shoulders."

We argued with each other for quite a while and this predicament was still very vile. We finally decided the best way to get out of it was to try a spinning fit. We spun in place and before long we were all singing a new song. Like screaming as we went through the clouds and start to fall toward the ground. I hope that optimistic, pessimistic, realistic, love, death, war, question nut who can be called Keith, gets bit somewhere tender by a hound.

********************************

Wow, who knew we could all become one? Who knew Keith was bat strat crazy by a ton? Who knows where we will land. Maybe in some giant litter box sand. After all of this I have more than gas I need to pass from my adventurous little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

66 comments:

  1. Quite interesting to read Pat.
    Have a good day.
    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
  2. #3
    Fills me with glee
    One of these days I'll be #1
    But I'll have to be like Hank and wake up before the sun

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe one day
      Ever the optimist at your bay

      Delete
  3. Bald godly mook it is the Drazin
    Looking a mite shy of brazen
    Optimistic is quite the puzzle
    Better that he wears a muzzle
    OK to answer one's own self
    Wait till they put you on the shelf
    Then one can talk to your self all day
    It always goes with the age they say

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I talk all day now
      Sometimes I even meow
      At least the cat answers back
      Although his vocabulary does lack

      Delete
  4. This sounds like the story of my kids. I have an optimist and a pessimist. Maybe I should whack the shit out of them like you did and get two realistic kids instead.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha in worked here
      Although you might make them run in fear

      Delete
    2. One sees a glass full

      the other sees the glass empty

      if there was a third they'd just see a glass nobody is drinking.

      Delete
    3. Or a fourth it could be
      And see a glass with stuff that tastes icky

      Delete
  5. Sounds like Drazin has got his hands full, the optimistic/pessimistic outcome has left me spinning. Hahaha, get it? Sorry, Pat... :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha nice one indeed
      Spinning about my feed

      Delete
  6. hahaha nice to see keith crash the show, optimistic, realistic, pessimistic, and brains above the shoulders is not a bad thing surely, sounds like a predicament that can be very squirrelly all stuck as one, too many people in one little bun....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that would be a whirl
      The cat would rather chase a squirrel

      Delete
  7. We can relate to this way too much. One of us is optimistic, the other pessimistic. Not sure if anyone can guess who is who.

    Also, I love Optimistic/Pessimistic's name. I can just imagine dying, floating up to the pearly gates, and the bearded man awaiting me saying, "Hi there, I'm God. But everyone here just calls me Keith."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah that would be rather funny
      Telling his name up where it is sunny
      At least pessimistic you are always ready
      For a crap storm to come steady

      Delete
  8. Whenever I tell my hubs he's a pessimist,
    he corrects me and says he's a realist.
    A realist with a negative slant!
    Thinking lemonade-ish, he can't!
    haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well a realist is the way to be
      Then ready for anything at your sea

      Delete
    2. nah...I disagree!
      An optimist is the way to be!

      Here...put some sugar on that lemon...lol...

      Delete
    3. lol blah to both
      A negative optimist could see growth

      Delete
  9. I am a bit of an optimist is that bad?

    Oh and are you a Batman fan???? Omg hi you're my friend now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Batman is grand in my land
      Optimist isn't a bad stand

      Delete
  10. Keith definitely is an optimist! Great to see him in a featured role today. Smiles.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Being pessimistic, optimistic or realistic
    Gets one to think of what really will mix
    There's Keith
    Give a miss
    Instead think of what to fix that will stick

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beg your pardon Pat
      Messed up the linking
      Drats
      Hope you can do something

      Hank

      Delete
    2. haha you are on a roll
      Three times is your goal
      Not happy with one
      Three had to be done
      When you came for a stroll

      Delete
    3. Thanks Pat
      Looks better now!

      Hank

      Delete
  12. Lets not land in the litter box sand. Who knows what's in it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, that would be wise
      Plus there could be flies

      Delete
  13. The optimistic will say: I love this bay
    The pessimistic - you're wasting the time today,
    Our realist will send them a trout,
    wear a vast to float...

    ReplyDelete
  14. I am optimistic that I don't want be a fleabag anytime soon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, that is very true
      Those fleas can sure shew

      Delete
  15. Where do you get all your lyrics from? How do yo do this everyday?
    "You have to have no fear,..."

    ReplyDelete
  16. Your bantering with the ninja gives me a grin,
    and I'd vote optimism is the best camp to be in =)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Depends on the day
      Which camp we're in at our bay

      Delete
  17. Some days I want to be the optimist, but more often the pessimist takes over. I want to be more like Keith, but being that positive all the time is exhausting!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah more fun to be negative too
      At least for some things that come due

      Delete
  18. I love that Keith is now in the mix of Glitch of the Witch! Well done, cat, well done! Oh crap, I said nice things...time for me to hit the road!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Better run
      You will be back for fun
      The one eye that was rebirthed out an ass
      Is not done with her glitch of the witch pass

      Delete
  19. Can't wait for the next installment to find out what you've become.
    Was Realistic also known as Keith?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, also know as Keith too
      Just a different point of view

      Delete
  20. Constipated demons are never fun to be around!

    ReplyDelete
  21. quite the adventure at your feed
    the inner realistic was freed
    as the optimist and pessimist
    are confronted by an antagonist
    would Drazen be a protagonist
    rather amusing entanglement...
    now, need bleach for contaminants..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Freed and made us flee
      Caused us no glee
      Drazin would be much
      Not sure you can lbel him as such
      But he does amuse
      Bleach I'll have to use

      Delete
  22. The Realist! I love it!

    I have this strange picture in my head of what you've become, especially after the snip snip (TMI, LOL) comment...this serial adventure can't come fast enough! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha a scary picture indeed
      It could be that takes feed

      Delete
  23. Liking that Keith is featured in the story Pat ~ Depending on the situation but I say always be an optimist ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes optimist isn't the way to go
      But most times it is at the show

      Delete
  24. Demons are not nice! Glad he's not at our bay.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah he is scary
      At least he wasn't overly hairy

      Delete
  25. This has been some heck of an adventure Pat, I've loved it every step of the way too, not going to lie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Going to keep going
      As the nuts keep showing

      Delete
  26. ahaha " I knew that was not mine, as I am snip snip." my favourite line!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha had to put that in
      Time and time again at my bin

      Delete