As we appeared in some cloudy place, looking like a heavenly embrace, we all checked to make sure we didn't go crazy like the ninja wannabe, and thankfully we were the same and had not joined the ninja wannabe's crazy spree. I figured it was just him. Maybe one day his bulb began to dim. But how could this be as we now were in the clouds. I guess it beat standing before Betsy's zombie crowds.
"Drazin is home. Drazin is back to Drazin's throne where the great god Duke Drazin will rule all."
"Someone has grown quite the complex."
"Is the demon constipated?"
Pat was back on his King Arthur kick. But Drazin did look like he was going to be sick. I guess that is just the smile of a bald godly mook. All but him knew he was not even the equivalent of a Duke. But we had no time for that as out came some optimistic nut with a weird looking hat.
"What are you supposed to be? God?"
"No, my feline friend. I am Optimistic, I am the question maker, I am peace and love, but my friends call me Keith."
"And you say Drazin has too many names for Drazin's self."
The optimistic clown spun around and began to frown. He actually had a second hack on the back of his head. Why did this guy ever bother to get out of bed?
"No, my feline enemy. I am Pessimistic, I am the answer maker, I am war and death, but my friends still call me Keith."
"Demon, you are easier to understand than this strange little man."
We each took a side and walked around this guy. We figured out it must be different if you live in the sky, as he had no back or butt. He was a two faced optimistic, pessimistic nut. Yes, he had a face on either side of himself. Who let this weirdo off the shelf? It was like the devil and an angel on each shoulder, except this guy was way more bolder.
"So cloud man thing, can you point to the way out?"
"I may be able to."
"I won't do it for you."
"I might do it for you."
"No, I won't."
Even Drazin was thrown for a loop with this guy and his goobly goop. Talk about having a conversation with yourself. We figured we would get more help from an imaginary elf. So we left him chatting all optimistic and pessimistic like and began our cloud hike. But it was like one big maze. After an hour walk we were back in his gaze.
"Drazin has had enough of this two faced thing."
"I thought you were home? Don't you know how to find the exit of your own house?"
"Shut up, Fleabag."
Drazin marched over and grabbed the nut by his optimistic neck. Even with two faces he was not playing with a full deck.
"Tell Drazin where the exit is or Drazin will leave you with only one face."
"I think the exit is to the left."
"Don't listen to that idiot, he is always wrong. Go right!"
This was clearly getting us nowhere. All we could do was sit and stare. How did this guy even go? Wait! I probably do not want to know. Drazin kept whacking him in the face. I think he wanted to put the optimistic one in its place. That is when Pat noticed the static he gave off after each whack. He smiled and also went on the attack.
"Demon, we have to hit them at the same time."
"Drazin is fine with that."
The two kept whacking the optimistic and pessimistic parts of this guy and the static sure began the fly. It was like he was melding together. Soon he spun around like a tornado in bad weather. Pat and Drazin jumped back, lying in wait. That is when the nut revealed his true fate.
"Ahh, I thank you. No longer am I pessimistic or optimistic. I am now realistic."
"Great! A third voice. Keep it up and you will soon have as many as the Fleabags human."
We both trotted up behind Pat and the realistic nut threw away his weird hat. He then smiled and started to yap. He kind of did it in a bad sort of rap.
"To get from here,
To over there.
You have to have no fear,
Become more than a pair.
Jump as one.
Any stormy you can weather.
And get things done.
No way you lose,
No way you die.
Unless the wrong path you choose.
Then you all die."
He spun around once again and then poofed out of sight at his cloudy den. We knew he made no sense at all. So we decided to split up and each try another hall. Once again we all ended up back in the same spot. This idea was not going so hot.
"Drazin is sick and tired of this Piss Pot Place."
"Say that three times fast, godly mook."
"Demon, can barely say it once."
The three of them argued for a while and that is when my brain started to run a mile. the realistic nut was trying to tell us something with his realistic rut. Why do they always have to be so cryptic and crap? I see him again and I'll give him a slap. I told them all the plan and none of them were a fan. Well the three of us were fine, but Drazin did not think it divine.
"If you tell anyone about this, Drazin will skin you alive, Fleabags."
"Being this close to a godly mook is punishment enough. I'll have to lick myself for a week."
"Stop moving so much, Demon."
Pat crawled up on Drazen's shoulders the best he could, holding each of us like a piece of wood. We stood there expecting being as one to work, for of this whole mess that was the only perk. Sadly, it did not work at all until Drazin started bouncing like a ball.
"Drazin isn't going to like this."
"Demon, that makes two of us."
We bounced around for a while and ended up in something rather vile. The four of us were now as one. It was scary by a ton. One body and four heads on display, which body part was which who could say. But there was something there to grip, so I knew that was not mine, as I am snip snip.
"Drazin feels dirty."
"I really need some bleach."
"At least now the godly mook has brains above his shoulders."
We argued with each other for quite a while and this predicament was still very vile. We finally decided the best way to get out of it was to try a spinning fit. We spun in place and before long we were all singing a new song. Like screaming as we went through the clouds and start to fall toward the ground. I hope that optimistic, pessimistic, realistic, love, death, war, question nut who can be called Keith, gets bit somewhere tender by a hound.
Wow, who knew we could all become one? Who knew Keith was bat strat crazy by a ton? Who knows where we will land. Maybe in some giant litter box sand. After all of this I have more than gas I need to pass from my adventurous little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.