Tuesday, October 29, 2013

This dVerse Candy Is More Dandy!

So who wants candy anyway? What is the good of that at your bay? I say we change it to something better at each sea. Then age would not matter and we could all get dVerse with glee.

Candy is dandy,
It can be handy.
At getting you fat,
And all of that.

Time for change.
At every range.
Stuff the candy,
In the g-string of Mandy.

Save a buck,
And might get some luck.
Or a slap,
Right to your trap.

Let's give out free gas.
That would get no sass.
Make the greedy go broke.
I hope they choke.

Some free liquor,
Could stop or start a bicker.
Just be a safe picker.
Don't grab one that will make you sicker.

I'd be there is a flash,
If all gave away cash.
The banks should fund it.
In their pants they would shit.

A free car.
At every bar.
Grab the keys,
And away you breeze.

A free trip.
Wouldn't get any lip.
Unless you sent me to Timbuktu.
Then on your mat I'd leave a present for you.

Free coupons could be all the rage.
Could give away a whole page.
To wherever you see fit.
You might get tp'd because of it.

And what is the best,
Beating the rest?
Giveaway nothing at all.
Then you'll be decorated for free as all have a ball.

See all kinds of better ways than using candy trays. You can even get decorated for Christmas early, just make all the trick-or-treaters squirrely. Snow will then surely fall, well after last call. So which would you like to come to pass? I'd take the cash or car or trip or gas for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

126 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Straight through to #4
      No more folklore!

      Hank

      Delete
  2. What a great new look
    At your little nook!
    *Sigh* Not quite number one,
    Ah well, coming here is still always fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is as random as can be
      Here at my sea
      Not quite
      Tray as you might

      Delete
  3. One felt overly safe in a designated group
    Fenced in and managed by some dudes
    Once ventured out
    Came the clouts
    Open to the bullying tactics of varied moods

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bully tactics can be put in their place
      Throw a bag of litter in their face
      With more than litter
      It will taste rather bitter
      Then off they'll race

      Delete
  4. I think that it's a good idea this Halloween to think of different or Dverse if you will, alternatives to candy, awesome post Pat.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I want candy! or free booze or a free car but most likely I will end up with free eggs and toilet paper as we don't give away candy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You should have eggs of your own
      And whack those who don't leave you alone

      Delete
  6. Look at you on top of the world! You must have put more than just candy in Mandy's G-string.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm I'll never tell
      "destroys pictures on cell"

      Delete
  7. Rather they not TP my house though. Especially if it's going to rain. Wet TP is a mess.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that would be such a pain
      Unless it all when down the drain

      Delete
  8. Free liquor might be fun and all
    But chaos might reign supreme at some people's hall
    Free gas would be a perk indeed
    For those who drive SUV's would be in dire need
    Me, I'll still choose candy - many hundreds of pieces
    Due to my passionate love affair with those wonderful Reese's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Does your girlfriend know
      You cheat on her with candy at your show?
      That is just low
      She may step on your toe lol

      Delete
    2. She has given me a free pass
      She says better to have an affair with Reese's than a lass

      Delete
    3. haha lucked out
      Does beat you going out and about

      Delete
  9. I wonder how strippers would react to candy in their panties. Lol too funny!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha hmmm maybe put that to the test
      Could be a fun blogfest

      Delete
  10. A free car given at a bank
    Be sure the gas is in the tank
    Cody likes to go there too
    Give her milk bones don't say boo
    Just because it's Halloween
    No one needs to make a scene
    Take your treat and hit the road
    Jump'n high like a big green toad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They would give you a free car
      And then no gas to get very far
      Sounds like the bank crew
      Cody gets her bones upon view
      And without a boo
      Bet she is happy and full too

      Delete
  11. ha. give out free gas and i might be first and last in line
    it has been nice of it to rewind, under 3 dollars
    this last week, but free gas is an idea that surely wont reek
    dont try to stick it under a g-string though
    you might set another fire at your show

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha on fire in a whole new way
      Bet those hips will sway

      Delete
  12. No trick or treat?! None?
    Oh, the cat is no fun :)
    Haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat runs under the bed
      Those trick or treaters cause him dread

      Delete
    2. Cats don't eat candy anyway
      But play with it like a toy
      Chasing it around the house
      Thinking it's a little mouse haha :)

      Delete
    3. Oh they will do that
      But each cat
      Will also eat the wrapper
      They are a plastic snapper

      Delete
  13. LOL at Timbuktu. If people start passing out free trips, I'm dressing up and going trick -or- treating (but I don't want to go to Timbuktu either). :)

    Thanks for linking to Super Sunday Sync, I decided to play in the yard instead of being a good host that day and am just now making my way through the list. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha no love for Timbuktu?
      That is rude of you haha
      No problem at all
      Can do so when pg at my hall

      Delete
  14. Replies
    1. Living vicariously through a cat?
      Hmm something wrong with that lol

      Delete
  15. I'm surprised you don't go for the trick.
    You could think of a few that are mean and sick.
    ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha no problem at all
      Here at my hall

      Delete
    2. I bet you'd enjoy designing a House of Horrors
      You could really cause some disorder.
      ha.

      Delete
    3. haha I'd probably get sued
      Because I'd make it so they'd fall in traps that were rude

      Delete
    4. see...I knew it!
      You love to cause a fit!

      Delete
    5. If I can make it anonymously
      I'd go so far when done they'd flee

      Delete
  16. I'm always wary of those free stuff ~ there's always a catch there
    between the lines ~ Happy Tuesday Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh, somedays I wouldn't mind being sent to Timbuktu lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol might want to get sent back
      Pretty quick at your shack

      Delete
  18. I vote for the trip to Timbuktu. All that candy will kill them.

    ReplyDelete
  19. so you are on top of the world??? lol

    ReplyDelete
  20. Replies
    1. I think she took off with the silver fox
      he was asking all hot to trot.
      ha.

      Delete
    2. He needs a date
      Maybe they can relate

      Delete
    3. Mandy and fox
      Don't ruffle your socks

      Delete
  21. Why do I have to stuff my candy in Mandy's G-string? I want to keep my candy since I love candy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mandy needs it more
      Besides, don't you want to explore? lol

      Delete
    2. No sorry I don't really want to explore Mandy's panties!

      Delete
    3. hahaha mandy is crushed now
      Sure she'll get over it somehow

      Delete
  22. I'll keep my candy and not be stuffing it in anyone's anything.

    ReplyDelete
  23. So, trick to trip!
    I love this tip!
    Let's wave a wand
    To have a fond,
    because for free
    you can just pee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm that you can indeed
      At any feed
      The cat lets it fly
      Watch your eye

      Delete
  24. Haha love you alternatives to giving away candy. I am surprised you didnt suggest giving out a rhyme, because that would sure be sublime! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A rhyme is easy to do
      Plus too free at ones zoo
      They need to spend
      Give free cars around the bend

      Delete
  25. Oh, how I hate Halloween. After two hours of opening and shutting the door, and feigning excitement over the costumes, I have had enough. Call me HumBug...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha scrooge you are indeed
      Turn off the lights and ignore the deed

      Delete
  26. I put the dog in the porch, no problems with the little feckers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Takes care of that
      Doesn't work with a chicken shit cat haha

      Delete
  27. I used to love Halloween, until this year, when I can't eat any of the stupid candy. Bah humbug! I'll take the trip, ALONE, ONE-WAY, please! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha poor poor you
      Whatever will you do?

      Delete
  28. Liquor is quicker
    So why bicker?
    Hand out free booze
    Watch the kids snooze
    And their bags of stash, lose
    As we grab there stuff.
    Shut the lights.
    That's enough.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They'll sleep through the night
      Than at first light
      Won't remember a thing
      Candy horded at your wing

      Delete
  29. We like seeing the little goblins and my Dad likes the left over candy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well that can be dandy
      Stealing the leftover candy

      Delete
  30. Cash is better than candy
    Of that we can be sure
    Not only does it come in handy
    It also doesn't need a cure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is very true
      For me and for you
      But with the current banking state
      A cure may be a good fate

      Delete
  31. I'm a picky cat about my sugar
    have to go to the store
    For the marshmellow fodder

    ReplyDelete
  32. Great post and great alternatives to candy.

    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
  33. ha - so what was that with the g-string exactly.. smiles... timbuktu sounds not that bad you know..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Okay, go there
      I'll send the g-string along to your Timbuktu lair

      Delete
  34. that candy in the g-string
    can be an ugly thing
    if it's left to be sticky
    your treat can be tricky

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it might linger
      You'd get more than the finger

      Delete
  35. Ha, I am never lucky with getting anything free., no matter what it is. I have come to the conclusion that there really is 'no free lunch.'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, not a free lunch
      Just a credit crunch

      Delete
  36. Sorry, Pat, can't give up the candy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Candy crush for you
      Oh the shame at your zoo lol

      Delete
  37. orlin N cassie....we wood like sum free fish sew if ya guys iz "in de noe" who bee passin it out sted oh candee can ya gives uz a heads up !!! thanx !!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm go down near the dock
      Sure you'll get fish by the flock

      Delete
  38. Clever. Never considered putting candy in a g-string, but then again you've put an idea in my head. Excellent piece, Pat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha always an idea to be had
      Here at my pad

      Delete
  39. No candy at our shore this year
    Hopefully won't induce a tear
    Instead we're giving little toys
    For all the TorT girls and boys!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that will go over well
      They'll find it swell

      Delete
  40. When I was a child and went to trick or treat
    There was a house that did not give you something to eat
    Instead they gave each child a book to read
    Deciding their minds they would rather feed

    Way down the street the kids would line up
    No one was concerned that there was nothing to sup
    Reading was fun and thought to be cool
    Anyplace at all not only at school

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow that is neat
      Never did that on our street
      Beat it was a hopping spot
      All must have enjoyed it a lot

      Delete
  41. Trick or treat?
    Begging for candy
    An extortionist trick.
    Snickers are hot
    they hit the spot.
    Toothbrushes? That's sick.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah that is sick
      Rather have a brick
      But then they help
      So no dentist makes one yelp

      Delete
  42. Gentlemens Club?
    Well, golly, that sounds so neat.
    But I'm no flub
    I ain't looking at their feet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Screw the feet
      They may be neat
      But what is best
      Lies in the chest

      Delete
  43. Trick or Treat for Unicef - now that a concept! Hooray for those who do both, a penny in the box - and a candy bar in the bag! Happy Halloween!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah used to do that too
      Here at my zoo

      Delete
  44. Candy is dandy...but otherwise I don't like free stuff :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't like free
      What is wrong with thee? lol

      Delete
  45. what a blast free cash
    lets make our own stash
    how about a free trip
    would that be on a ship (lol)
    take us away to bora bora shore
    what more could we ask for???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That sounds grand
      Sun and sand
      With piles of dough
      Away we go

      Delete
  46. I'd definitely take cash over candy
    that would make my life so much dandy

    but since all I seem to have here is Halloween candy
    that's what I will grab since it is handy

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah cash is better in every way
      Sadly none either at my bay

      Delete
  47. except Mandy don't like the candy

    she prefers George Washingtons or President Andy (Jackson)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. damn, outta luck
      Guess I'll take a free truck

      Delete
  48. Replies
    1. May have to test to see
      Good luck to thee

      Delete
  49. Yeah, it would be cool to get cash when we go Trick-or-Treating! Heck, I'd dress up in one of those stupid costumes you featured last week to get the cash. Maybe. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  50. I do like candy, but you are right. Free gas, cars or trips would be dandy!
    I'd take any of those over candy any day. But might rethink if you offer a brownie tray :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha nope, no rethinking for me
      Brownies are out at my sea

      Delete
  51. This comment if free
    It's plain to see
    Pass the buck
    You're out of luck
    You might get stuck
    Here's a pick-up truck
    Some free gas
    To add to your ass
    Some candy cane
    What's in a name
    Free trips to you
    Out of the blue
    Go on Oprah
    Get a car

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oprah is through
      Last I knew
      So will have to get gas
      Capture it out my ass
      Oh so grand
      Sell it across the land

      Delete
  52. We could use some free cash! But we'd settle for candy too, especially chocolate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cash beats candy anyday
      Here at our bay

      Delete
  53. I plan on going to Wal-Mart and just buying tons of post-Halloween candy for cheap.

    ReplyDelete
  54. In England its mainly chavs who trick or treat.
    So borrow a large dog for the night and keep it in your garden , train it to sniff out the smell of tracksuits and skunk.
    And i don't mean the animals.
    Ha!, i can just imagine giving out free coupons instead of chocolate, see how many of your windows are smashed the next day lol.
    Great poem, i think the Religious nuts are always banging on about banning Halloween in America. Can't see them standing up the commercial might of the big chocolate companies.Sole reason Halloween exists in the first place.

    ReplyDelete