Friday, November 22, 2013

A Merry Date Could Be Your Fate!

I had to go and have a look to see what I could make fun of at my nook. There are plenty to choose from, they must already be drunk on the rum.

Here comes Mary Santa Claws
Keep away those paws.
Rudolph won't make you glow like me.
So are you saying a reindeer causes glee?

Find me under the missletoe.
I hope kaboom you don't go.
Vrooom goes my mind.
Not judging by the size of your behind.

Stuke n towne al aloan.
Do you make Al groan?
Maybe you can come put up my lights?
I hate manual labor and heights.

Want to see my bag of toys?
I have a feeling they are for bad boys.
Sack me
Ummm football fan are we?

Riddles are not my strung point.
Maybe put down the joint.
Current affairs are all I want on TV.
My, what a pervert you are at your sea.

Cats in christmas clothes are so cute.
I would throw you down the garbage chute.
Let jingle all the way home.
To cold to jingle while I roam.

Snuggle with me by the tire.
Well I guess a rubber must really light your fire.
Badder things could happen then me.
Gooder things may as well at ones sea.

My magic eight ball said I would get lucky.
I hope all is just ducky.
Fishing animals liquor bathes are my favorite things.
You have some strange fetishes and flings.

Drool all you like.
My OCD tells you to take a hike.
Strip away the bad stuff and love the cood.
Hmm a cod may find that a bid odd.

I see you.
Peeper number two.
Clingy, negative, pessimistic, fat, lazy, unemployed, whiners need not apply.
So after you say all of that will you poke them in the eye?

That is it for another round of dating nuts that can be found. If you want one I can go back and look then send them straight to your nook. I bet you would love a tire snuggling lass about as much as my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

82 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Now it's #4
      At the door!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. Brian was closer today
      Better watch out at my bay

      Delete
  2. no pets in christmas clothes are not cute...its enough to make you puke,
    how would you like some big brute to push you into clothes that well...yeah no, sorry--almost as much as a tire hugging lass...ha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, not cute at all
      Staple the humans to the wall
      For such a feat
      don't thing the tire lass is sweet?

      Delete
  3. OK, there are some real possibilities with this clever crew. You have an obvious pleaser with the Rudolph chick, a dominatrix with her bag of toys, and a bad girl. Look into your magic 8 ball and see which one is the lucky one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My magic 8 ball may be defective though
      It said to run, fast not slow

      Delete
  4. Some of those don't even make sense. And no animal is cute in clothes. The whole time they are sitting there, staring you down and plotting your death.
    However, I am going to try sack me tonight on my wife and see what happens!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha hopefully you don't get kicked
      As her you leave kinda ticked
      Yeah animals hate that crap
      Planning how they will kill you as you nap

      Delete
  5. The phrases are so peachy-keen
    They all add up to quite the scene
    A magic eight-ball in one's life
    May protect you better than a knife
    If a thug comes to your door
    Throw the eight ball, make a score
    Use your magic pitching arm
    That will really do him harm

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right between the eye
      Make the poor thief cry
      And well he gives his wound a lick
      Kick him square in the dick lol

      Delete
  6. Hahaha... with the subject line, I was thinking the Date you eat. I eat them every morning and was just thinking about going out and getting them. I opened your blog and there was a Merry Date!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha a Date of a different rate
      Never had the others on my plate

      Delete
  7. The one who wrote "Snuggle with me by the tire is" the clear winner
    You should totally take her to dinner

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well she does like rubber
      I'll send a version of Flubber

      Delete
    2. She may be the one
      And she may be fun
      Or she could be a nightmare in a lot of ways
      But you gotta take a chance some days

      Delete
    3. After such a glance
      I'd rather run than take a chance

      Delete
  8. Santa, mistletoe, presents, reindeer
    Christmas comes early this year?
    Some sizzles
    With riddles
    Let's see what will there be on offer

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not sure i want to know
      What will be offered by them at my show

      Delete
  9. All dressed up for the holiday
    Cats singing carols & merry
    A little santa hat & jingle bell
    That would make xmas swell :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha no way hosa
      the cat will flee his bay

      Delete
  10. I'm so glad I don't have to date
    and already have my mate
    It's a scary world out there
    One I don't think I could bear
    With people into tires
    that just gets my ire
    and freaks who like to peep
    makes me want to say "eep" <--- (Where's Jax? ha ha)

    Take care cat and have a great weekend, Pat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Being so nice
      Migraines leaving you fuzzy like dice?
      Yeah it is a scary world of dating
      Online gets tons of hating

      Delete
    2. No migraine today. I had a moment of weakness. Must be because I plan on writing my attack on you soon….

      Delete
    3. Oh an attack for me?
      Yipeeeeee

      Delete
  11. Good to hear you start being Christmassy Pat, I thought that the cat might not be in the mood for the party or the cracker hat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat has some cheer
      It comes out his rear

      Delete
  12. With rum is the only way to drink eggnog,
    While laughing at these horny hogs,
    Truly makes for a fun visit at your blog,
    Better than watching turkeys dance Prague.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i beat dancing turkeys at my bay
      Yippeeee I say lol

      Delete
  13. Marry Date could be cat's fate...
    snuggle by tire and wake up all wired
    to lass and her cars...

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ha, I can't imagine cats in Christmas clothes. Dogs, yes! Cats, no!!
    Now I am contemplating "Mary Santa Claws." But I will stay away from the paws for sure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah cats would kill one
      If they gave clothes a run lol
      Keeps those paws away
      There at your merry bay

      Delete
  15. If those are the prospects, single life never sounded better. :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. More reasons to be glad that I am married! Yikes! I'm with the cat ~ I don't like Christmas clothes either! Have a happy weekend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they are crap
      Blow them off the map

      Delete
  17. Awww, the cat doesn't want to get dressed up all holly jolly?
    He would be so cute looking like a stuffed dolly!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pffft to you
      I'll let Boney smoke you at your zoo

      Delete
  18. I'm now picturing a cat, ugly Christmas sweater party. Thanks for ruining the holidays for me! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol that would suck
      Poor kitties be outta luck

      Delete
  19. I still don't know why my Christmas Tree isn't up yet!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Slow people at your sea
      Need to be more merry

      Delete
  20. My mind told me you wrote with tongue in cheek,
    A lot of bad boy double speak.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your mind was right
      As my rhyming behind took flight

      Delete
  21. With those a merry date would not be anyone's fate unless you are the mayor of Toronto

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He may like them all
      There at his no powers hall

      Delete
  22. Not too bright but fun like this one:

    Riddles are not my strung point.

    Have a good Friday Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha strung up they need to be
      Far away from me

      Delete
  23. You might want to look into becoming a monk with those picks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wouldn't be a bad calling
      Compared to those above who are appalling

      Delete
  24. Replies
    1. You and hookers
      Hope they are lookers

      Delete
  25. With weirdo dating choices like that,
    You're better off sharing your pad with your cat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i very much agree
      Just Pat and each kitty

      Delete
  26. I wonder if the liquor bather take egg nog baths, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Make that, "takes." (Maybe I've been taking too many liquor baths, so now I can't type correctly!)

      Delete
    2. haha after reading all of the above
      Your grammar flew away like a dove

      Delete
  27. Snuggling by a tire? Sounds like every mechanics dream date!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Wow, there are quite a few there to date
    hmm..who knows what will be your fate
    "snuggle with me by the tire"
    I wonder what would be the attire..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A mechanic suit of some sort
      I know my fate at my court

      Delete
  29. Funny stuff - do you watch that game show Baggage? More fuel for your tire fire!

    Would not want to date today!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I've seen that show a bunch
      Some are out to lunch

      Delete
  30. Oh, Alex's response, that was the best
    I wish him luck in his fest
    Just think, those poor lasses and lads
    The ones writing those awful ads
    All they want is what Alex has got
    But until the brain kicks in, they've got no shot

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they are screwed
      Play with themselves in the nude
      All alone
      They can umm groan

      Delete
  31. Replies
    1. lol at high speed
      Mary will do the deed

      Delete
  32. Do you have a crystal ball through which to watch your readers??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, I hack them all
      there at their hall

      Delete
  33. None of my cat would like Christmas clothes.
    That would surely cause them woes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Scare each and everyone
      Sure to make them run

      Delete
  34. Missletoe...kaboom! Took me a few seconds to figure out that one, lol...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol it was a little harder to see
      Then each other crazy

      Delete
  35. have to get through the rellies from PA
    For Thanksgiving Day
    Before the parlay
    to Christmas Day

    ReplyDelete
  36. The very idea of animals in clothes make me want to laugh out loud.

    www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  37. Was I supposed to read this to the tune of "Here comes Santa Claus"?

    Either way, the Christmas music has begun to play everywhere and I'm already sick of it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You'll get plenty more
      Before it's over at your shore

      Delete