Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Tick Tick Tick Watch It Kick!

Everywhere you go it seems people are kickstarting this and that at their show. Some it sure does help as they give their little yelp. But then there are those who should do something else at their sea. So they will be helped out by little old me.

Forget kickstarter,
That is nothing but a farter,
Compared to what I got.
I'll get you out of your rut.

With stuff like these,
Funding will be a breeze.
Help a rich dick!
Doesn't that sound slick?

Feed my maid!
A golden sidewalk will be laid.
Fill my private yacht!
That will make all hot to trot.

Tip my dog!
That will be juicier than a brown log.
Just buy this!
That is pure bliss.

Pay my traffic ticket!
I bet it will even be funded by a cricket.
Fund my nose job!
Might even attract Sideshow Bob.

Football my backyard!
That will make buyers hard.
Martian funder!
That will bring the thunder.

Stoked, Dude!
After that how can you be rude?
Designer Car!
That will surely be above par.

Forget penny waste!
They'll give them over post haste.
Sign your life away!
You may have already done that the other day.

Stick it in my pocket!
That will get you enough to build a rocket.
Buy me lunch!
I bet you will get a bunch.

I saved the best for last.
This will make all a thing of the past.
Give Me Money!
That will even impress the Easter Bunny.

See, aren't my ideas so grand? I bet they could make a ton across the land. No? What do you know? I bet I could sell them to a singing bass. He would appreciate my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have nice fall.

76 comments:

  1. Could always have someone pay my traffic ticket

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That would be nice
      Those are a hefty price

      Delete
  2. Get a kick start
    Or end in the rut
    Just go
    Ever more
    With all the guts

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your kick start slow today?
      Streak ended by R at my bay lol

      Delete
  3. I came here in hope to tip your dog!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pffft no dogs allowed
      Mutts are a crowd

      Delete
  4. Replies
    1. I wouldn't be opposed to that
      Here at my mat

      Delete
  5. Hahaha They are so funny
    I wonder who gives these people money
    The music business is a sham
    But people seem to give a dam
    They give so musicians never work
    They can sit around and be a jerk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sure beats me
      But it flies free
      Dough here and there
      To the rich dicks by the pair

      Delete
  6. so i need to find a rich man to be the slave to
    that is nothing new, that pretty much describes
    any industry i see, ha...i might stand a better chance with
    the martians, esp if they are fond of farting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You never know
      The aliens could blow
      And be right there
      At your fart lair

      Delete
  7. R was first and Brian is a potty mouth.

    One is a shock
    the other is not.
    lol....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Farting isn't that bad to say
      R was quicker than Hank today

      Delete
  8. Hmm. Thought I did away with the Easter Bunny...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A new one was crowned after that
      Less evil at its easter mat

      Delete
    2. You always come back to the Easter bunny!

      Delete
    3. You didn't like the sight
      Thought it was a fright

      Delete
  9. There isn't anything that hasn't been kicked these days.

    ReplyDelete
  10. orlin N cassie...just bee care full oh that singin bass.....could bee a big mouth bass...that fish haz de biggest damn mouth.....tell him a sekrit N all 5 oceans noe bout it in half a day....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Throw some litter in their yap
      Then they won't become a trap lol

      Delete
  11. Wait, are you offering to pay my traffic ticket?
    You're welcome to it ;p
    And I agree, I don't think they'd be able to pass,
    on a good old singing bass!

    P.S. Happy Thanksgiving (probably won't be on much tomorrow, so saying it today)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope they all need that
      Sure I'll pay, just dial 1800scat

      Delete
  12. You are so smart.
    My second favorite is 'stoked, Dude'.
    The best, though, is 'send me money'.
    Guaranteed, some people would do it. Truth works best!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tell them upfront what it is
      can be quite the money biz

      Delete
  13. You'd make a ton from Kickstarter!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that would be very nice
      But I don't think I'd fetch a price

      Delete
  14. Actually the Easter Bunny vacations real close to where we live!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can have a quick snack
      Then bury the remains out back

      Delete
  15. Hmm, I like the give me money, but no one ever complies.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they just look away
      Never works at any bay

      Delete
  16. There should be a website called, Just give me the money. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol be fun to do
      Should make that at my zoo

      Delete
    2. lol could make it into a game show
      how to get rich all you need to know

      Delete
    3. lol that would be grand
      Could get rich in my land

      Delete
  17. I am not interested in helping a rich dick
    as I am sure he would have enough to be able to share with ME!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He would have a ton
      But they always want more under their sun

      Delete
  18. Help a rich dick?
    That DOES sound slick.
    Especially if he's a looker
    and can afford a hooker.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Help him find a home
      So in a hooker he can roam

      Delete
  19. This is so true, And it's something to rue.
    But you made it a joke
    so fun we can poke.
    jean (trying!!!)

    ReplyDelete
  20. R making first comment is quality haha, see next time anybody brings up Kickstarter I'm telling them that it's just a farter, hahahahaha!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha there you go
      Tell them at your show

      Delete
  21. Relax your wait is over
    I'm sending you Rover
    Been paying for the rich
    Aint that a bitch
    Posh politics
    Removing my sticks
    David Cameron
    Rich moron
    Is taking from the poor
    To even the score
    Banker friend
    Can kiss my end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Might get germs
      End up with worms
      Or something worse
      May even get perverse
      Let him kiss the floor
      Much safer at your shore

      Delete
  22. Help the rich is that a pitch
    that is one idea I will ditch
    Give me Money, a slogan for thee
    then we could be happy & flee
    put, it an over seas account
    and watch the interest mount
    add pennies as they do count

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ops should be put it "in"...lol..
      zombie toes for me I suppose

      Delete
    2. Zombie toes for you
      Sad but true
      Unless you make up for it
      Some other way a bit
      That would be grand
      Earn interest with our feet in the sand

      Delete
    3. Mmm anyway is not important that I can say I die lol

      Delete
  23. tip the dog with a biscuit treat

    just not canned beet

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They'd take both
      Won't stunt their growth

      Delete
  24. LOVE the last couplet!!! Great scathing rhyme! Perfect right before Thanksgiving. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perfect for the time
      I'll pretend I meant to do that with my chime

      Delete
  25. I hate the sap stories and never give to them. However, if I get a kick out of the sign and it seems like the truth, I may chip in a bit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You the sap stories are usually full of crap
      The fun ones are still crap but the chap can flap

      Delete
  26. Go Fund You?
    Give you a Kick in the Start?
    I'll say Boo Hoo
    But with cash I'm not gonna part!

    Happy Thanksgiving! Even though I know it's already passed Up There ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least you are in the know
      Good way to be at your show

      Delete
  27. See, if I give someone money on Kickstarter, I get something back like a neat Indie Game or a silly t-shirt.

    What will you give me if I pay off your parking ticket? :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ummm save 1 cent on gas
      The next time a gas station you pass

      Delete
  28. That singing bass might have an idea or two to share too...I hear he was pretty popular back in his heyday. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah he was a popular one
      Still makes the cat run

      Delete
  29. I didn't think there was anyone who would buy a singing bass left in the world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh there are a few
      That I'd bet on at my zoo

      Delete
  30. My boss had a singing bass
    Crooned as anyone would pass
    What a pain it was in the rear
    Sure more than your rhyming rear

    ReplyDelete