Tuesday, December 17, 2013

A dVerse Helping Hand From My Land!

So you are late and need to find a place that still is stocked with an open gate. Never fear, you will be helped by my little rhyming rear. You just have to get dVerse. No need to curse. Even if they are slack and taking a break from their shack. Pffft I do not need any stinkin break. So I will still partake.

Who doesn't like liquor?
Can make one see things that flicker.
Could get it with ease,
Away to the bar you breeze.

Just fill an empty bottle from your cup.
Never bring the bottle up.
Keep it hidden low.
Then once full, wrap it in a bow.

Your office is ripe for the picking.
That clock that is ticking,
That stapler that is so shiny.
Forget the receptionist, she's too whiny.

Could even swipe a sheet of paper.
I'm sure you could pull off such a caper.
Then make a paper airplane.
Bam! Instant gift, beats a train.

Go outside.
Search far and wide.
Actually just stand in the yard,
Unless that is too hard.

Hold out a cup and wait for rain.
Stick in a pretty candy cane.
Free water and a treat.
I bet all with think it is neat.

Go in your house,
Make sure no one is close,
Then sneak around,
And see what is found.

It is a ton of hair!
Collect it all at your lair.
Then form a wig.
Bet it will be quite the rig.

And then there is the place,
That many embrace.
Though it may stink,
When in trash you sink.

But the dump can pleasure.
It can hold many a treasure.
Who knows what you will detect.
Don't touch things though that stand erect.

See, no need to curse at your sea. You can find stuff for under the tree. Just do some hopping and you can find fun places to go shopping. What? You want a heated store? You are such a bore. Could also swipe your neighbor's grass and give it to my grass eating little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

86 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Without a break #7
      It's a good turn!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. 7 for you
      R was close today at my zoo

      Delete
  2. So there is not going to be a break
    Every morning it'll be the same take
    Just lurking
    And hoping
    They're still at it and not quite awake

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gonna keep at it each day
      Here at my bay
      At least for now
      So you can get a streak that will wow

      Delete
  3. Reminds me a of Dilbert book - How to Get Rich by Stealing Office Supplies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well you could I suppose
      Until you got caught and/or the office went broke and had to close

      Delete
  4. This is funny, made me smile
    Steal office supplies all the while
    Free water with a candy cane
    No need to let you go insane
    Still good picken's at the dump
    Never need to be a frump
    ~~~~~~~~~~~
    And that all makes for a very Marry Christmas

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There we go
      Blow for blow
      At the dump
      Presents it could trump

      Delete
  5. Excellent ideas for my annual Christmas Crap party!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Christmas crap
      Could be used for a fun lap

      Delete
  6. ha. i need to go to my neighbors and see if i can find hair in their lair, i could use a stapler to stick it to my head, like reindeer antlers on mice, wouldnt that be nice, like that drop of a movie reference right there...ooo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha look at you go
      With the flow
      On the screen
      Credits roll for all to be seen

      Delete
  7. You know it occurs to me, you mention your bum a lot.

    And thanks for the wig idea! I know what I'll be getting everyone I know for Christmas!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well little rhyming eye, foot, hand
      Just doesn't sound grand

      Delete
  8. At least these are original gift ideas for sure
    For Christmas gift boredom, this may be a cure

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Original they are
      Just be careful if you steal from a bar

      Delete
  9. I want a purse from all that cat hair;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A cat hair purse
      Those with allergies may curse

      Delete
  10. I can find plenty of hair
    collecting at my lair
    three dogs and me
    shed a ton at my sea
    My meds make my hair thin
    But it's okay, I'll drink some gin
    and not worry about my locks
    Instead, I'll have a rum on the rocks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See could make you own
      Steal hair from those who chew a bone
      A dog hair wig
      Put it on and dance a jig

      Delete
    2. I would do just that
      but the dogs are grey at my mat
      I spend enough for color on me
      To waste anymore at my sea!

      Delete
    3. haha need to dye the dog first
      Then use them for such a burst

      Delete
  11. Such helpful hints to avoid last minute shopping. Imagine the 'present face' you'd get on some of those. "thank you?" buwahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha oh yeah it would be grand to watch
      Might drive some to the scotch

      Delete
  12. To give
    or not to give
    that is the question.

    Is it nobler
    to steal gifts
    than to buy?

    Would one not
    look like a swine?

    So Horatio
    I say to you
    "Worry not,
    become a Jew"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha but then you have to give a gift a day
      If you go the Jew way

      Delete
    2. I couldn't think of anything else that rhymed.

      Delete
    3. Hide out in the loo
      Sail upon the deep blue
      Sniff some glue
      Bippity boppity boo

      Delete
  13. Too cute what we can find for gifts
    if we just look far and wide
    and let our imagination
    be our guide!

    Seriously, I could do all my shopping
    at the local 7 and 11
    the selections they have there
    are really heaven!

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow that is some 7 and 11
      Must be a little piece of heaven

      Delete
  14. I bet you could make fire starters with all the hair balls you find.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Probably could indeed
      Here at my feed

      Delete
  15. haha you know... i could surely make a wig from all my girl's hair that i find alone in the bathroom... and a paper airplane to fly to a nice, warm island...hmmm... that would be cool

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fly there on a paper airplane
      Use some hair as flaps at your lane

      Delete
  16. Between my dog's hair, my daughter's hair, and my hair, I'm sure we could fit the whole world with wigs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A profitable idea to make some dough
      There you go

      Delete
  17. Hey, the Follower list
    Disappeared in the mist!
    Where did it go
    At everyone's show?
    Seems hairy & weary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Followers list is back now at all shows
      Must have been a temporary glitch, who knows
      Peppermint candy it is
      But with hot chocolate please :)

      Delete
    2. Yeah seen it go
      Being a no show
      Then it came back
      Google glitch attack

      Delete
  18. All good advice
    I don't think twice
    About touching things that stand erect
    Diseases one can't always detect
    Return to sender works real swell
    When it goes flaccid, run like hell.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wise advice indeed
      I'd run upon first sight at top speed

      Delete
  19. orlin N cassie...sorree but we iz gonna cuzz...wear de hell N ba jesuz iz R commint again.....hizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It disappeared once more?
      Geez google hates you at my shore

      Delete
  20. Good ideas
    for our fiesta:
    steal some water
    and become a rain-
    little old cloud
    in the midst of the day lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that would be fun
      Get all misty under ones sun

      Delete
  21. The cheapest... I mean nicest... gift this time of year
    Is something sure to spread great cheer.
    Give a bottle of air from a summery day
    For chasing cold and dreary winter away.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But will it last?
      I bet it will just be a quick blast

      Delete
  22. Nothing like a good treasure hunt at the last minute!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Digging through the dump
      Searching each bump

      Delete
  23. Shopping at the dump...at least it's free.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Free as can be
      For your shopping spree

      Delete
  24. So many new places in which to shop. I'll leave my purse at home!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No need for money or a card
      Just steal grass from your neighbor's yard

      Delete
  25. Go in your house sneak around
    and see all that can be found..haha
    maybe, you could recycle a gift
    avoid all the giant snow drifts..
    go out side find some rocks
    paint them put them in a box
    with words filled with wishes
    love, peace, health , life's riches

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Recycle a gift works
      It has its perks
      But yeah avoid the crummy snow
      As the wind gives it a blow

      Delete
  26. Ha, I am sure a visit to the dump would be an interesting one
    can't beat the prices, and at this time of year the smell would be better
    than in a heat wave of summer. LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is true
      The smell wouldn't be soo eww haha

      Delete
  27. Here I am with three days
    Before our family comes together in their traditional ways.
    Still a gift shy
    For one girl and one guy,
    This list comes at the perfect time
    And will likely save me more than a dime!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Save you tons of dough
      Easy to do also

      Delete
  28. Grab the nearest thing and wrap it up

    ReplyDelete
  29. Replies
    1. Not all of them great
      But same may be a good fate

      Delete
  30. Ha you and your ideas. Notice I withheld the "good" in front of ideas; or maybe I am just bitter with all the hair we have collecting here with 2 new kittens and a big dog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha hold the good back
      That is fine at my shack
      Tons of hair
      Sounds like at your lair

      Delete
  31. the clock is ticking

    but never tocking

    makes you wonder

    about that blunder

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just don't wander too far
      May get lost at a bar

      Delete
  32. You know what, handmade gifts are full of class!
    A crocheted something or other out of the hair and grass!
    But if you do just go to the gas station and shop,
    they do have nice $1 pairs of socks.
    And also gum.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha $1 socks is as easy as can be
      Even that can be afforded by me

      Delete
  33. Christmas is saved! Actually, I am staying in Ireland this year so present buying/making/stealing can be delayed until next year!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh cheating this year
      Well that deserves a cheer

      Delete
  34. If someone got me a nice bottle of bourbon this year I'd be pretty happy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha just get you drunk
      In a happy funk

      Delete
  35. I try to keep a few blank cards and a little cash on hand for those I forgot to buy for. But I do like the idea of giving grass to some less than desirable party guests!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Grass is the way
      Then they can stare at it every day

      Delete
  36. Although I've been known
    And sometimes have even shown
    I can recycle a thing or two
    I'll stick with snowflakes at my zoo

    ReplyDelete
  37. Blogger ate my comment
    I do lament.
    I had said something about rain in a cup
    except here it would be snow to the top!
    Blogger hates me, I swear.
    And usually I'm not even aware!
    ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha wasn't in spam
      Like toe jam
      So blogger just sent it into space
      no snow in a cup allowed anyway at my place

      Delete