Monday, December 30, 2013

Helping Your New Year Out With Today's Shout!

Back once more we go at my shore with the dating nuts who wonder why they are in ruts. But if you need a new years date, a crazy below may be your fate. If you are that desperate though you may want to go roll around in the snow.

Why ant I find a date?
What? No ants will take the bait?
Look at my pants but don't touch
Those ants must go dutch.

Count down the cock with me
Somehow I don't think so at my sea.
I won't be forgotten baby
If I try hard enough just maybe.

Travel the gravel and unravel
Appreciate the rhyme but don't like scratchy gravel.
Join me babe, its UP to u
Snip snip, sorry, nothing up to view.

U B My Tackle Dummy And I Be Ur Cheer
I don't need bruises or a headache, my dear.
Aeroplanes are my specialty of the day
Do you charge a fare for round trips at your bay?

I will drinc u sillie willie
I think you are already drunk and on a fun pillie.
Short out your crap before you yap
I guess short really does get a bum rap.

I'm busy but will make tim for you
I don't want any Tim's at my zoo.
Cough my way
Germs! No way hosa!

You'll jingle all the way
Arnold might take offense at his bay.
We'll ring in 2019
Time travel can be a dangerous scene.

Why you looking at me?
Because you show yourself for free.
Slack asses need not apples make
Ummm am I the only one giving a wtf head shake?

Scores have tried but none have won
Are you saying you team with anyone?
My sweat glands are ready to go
I had a shower, thank you though.

Triple threat, me, you and my sweet.
Sorry, to the cat bestiality isn't neat.
Same the bar and everything will be fogot.
I think you have made the drunk cut.

There we are, I'm always helping out at my bar. You can get a date with ease. But then they may give you fleas. Especially the one with a sweet. You may want to bring a dog treat. But on them we will take a pass which delights my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

65 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. It's now # 20 in a row
      Perfect 10 twice over

      Hank

      Delete
    2. Quite the run
      Once more under my sun

      Delete
    3. Dateline: Dec 31 2013

      Something strange
      On the dot this morning
      But there's no posting
      Pat didn't come in
      Is there a change in timing?

      Hank

      Delete
    4. No change in timing
      Still the same time for rhyming
      Stupid thing did not go
      Dumb blogger is to blame at my show

      Delete
  2. What are we teaching kids in school these days? Obviously, it's not how to spell.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, not how to take ten seconds and look
      Either at their nook

      Delete
  3. Looking around and vying for a date
    There're lots of 'choices' at any rate
    Travel and unravel
    Scraping the barrel
    Sealed without success that's the fate

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I will confess
      None of these scream success

      Delete
  4. I can appreciate a girl who digs her some football. So put on your helmet and pads and let that chick tackle you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Probably break me
      With her tackling spree

      Delete
  5. Of the New Years dates you must confess
    They all sound like they're quite the mess
    There is one, though, I'd take the chance
    With the time traveler I'd like to dance
    Skip ahead five years I'd like to see
    What's happened to this coun-ta-ree
    If the choice were mine, I'd go back
    And dance all night in the swing time track
    Goodman, Dorsey and Krupa, to dance at my shore
    What a beautiful New Years, who could ask for any more

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But if you were to go that far back
      And stepped on a butterfly with your dance attack
      You could change all at your shack
      You could cease to exist or become a smoker by the pack

      Delete
  6. They say whoever you kiss at midnight on New Year's Eve is the person you end up with on the next new year day. hogwash, I'm sure, but best to steer clear from these prospects, just in case. :)

    Happy New Year to you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah that is a lot of crap
      They must have had whatever was on tap
      When they made that up
      Better advice from a pup lol

      Delete
  7. Certainly don't want dates with fleas:) How are you, Pat?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, fleas are way to itchy
      And I bet they'd make all twitchy
      Good at my sea
      hopefully the same for thee

      Delete
  8. I'd throw those gems back. Brains they lack

    ReplyDelete
  9. She sounds like she drank many a willie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That sounds rather wrong
      But the drink must have been strong

      Delete
  10. You better go the other way or get good and drunk first

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll take the first one
      And away I'll run

      Delete
  11. Oh dear, oh dear.
    Of those I'd stay clear!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Give them a wide berth
      Like the other side of Earth

      Delete
  12. I tried to make Tim for you, but my recipe got all screwed up somewhere and now he's riddled with incurable diseases. Are you gonna put him down or shall I?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll let you put your creation down
      Before he infects the whole town
      Making all become zombie daters
      Sure that will get haters

      Delete
  13. ha. its pretty funny what a misspell or missing letter will bring to light
    and cause a bit of fright as well, eep on the bestiality, the cat better run so that isnt a reality....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat will go under the bed
      And avoid such dread
      A simple misspell can do much
      Have to re-read and such

      Delete
  14. I'm always making spelling mistakes , it is amusing-or not what a misspell can cause.
    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Speloing boo-boos always make us giggle!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They sure are fun
      To abuse under my sun

      Delete
  16. So thankful I am out of the dating scene
    would not want to tackle that one bit
    but it seems like you have many a good line here
    I'm sure one will take a hit!

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll leave them for all
      Who can't spell at their hall
      Then two by two they can go
      Each brain dead at their show

      Delete
  17. It seems to me
    What you've learned at your sea
    Is that wanting a date
    May just seal one's own fate!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, send you to hell
      With people who can't spell

      Delete
  18. ...and we can't bring our dates to work....unless they're in a tin!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The best kind
      As they haven't lost their mind

      Delete
  19. Like to travel in time
    ringing chime.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Travel away
      Get a delorean at your bay

      Delete
  20. orlin N casie....hope ya hada grate holly day...N ya noe...mor often N knot...we iz WAAAAAAAAY glad we iz cats ....

    noe thanx two de datin seen...we wood rather eat a spleen...we will pazz on da roe mants...we R glad we dont wear pants !!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah better as a cat
      No dating crap and all of that

      Delete
  21. ants can't find a date

    as the queen is the only mate

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sucks for all of those guys
      Having to swirl around her like flies

      Delete
  22. Wow, that's quite the interesting bunch
    perhaps, you can meet one for lunch
    time traveling might be rather fun
    giving the future a quick run...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No thank you
      Berth below two by two
      I'd time travel though
      And get the lotto numbers to win some dough

      Delete
  23. Tick tock
    Countdown your cock
    Ants in your pants
    Doing the slants
    As you wind down the cock
    Tick tock
    Time to rock
    In a new year
    You hear

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. New year
      For a cheer
      Just another day
      Here at my bay

      Delete
  24. I think the single life sounds grand
    If these would be my only options at finding a man.
    Though time travel does sound cool.
    But only if the guy operating the machine isn't a complete tool.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You may be outta luck
      Guaranteed he'd be a schmuck

      Delete
  25. Spell check is a wonderful thing. Why don't these people use it?
    I guess if you're drunk your vision is too blurry to see the squiggly red line.
    I wonder if any of these people had any takers?
    Probably each other.
    That's mean. I take it back. I'm trying to be nicer going into the New Year.
    All of these people were victims of malware. That's nicer, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha malware is a pain in the ass
      So let them all have it in mass
      Nice is overrated anyway
      Be mean at your bay lol

      Delete
  26. I started reading those and had to take another look. LOL Those are some good ones alright.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha good ones to avoid
      And be very very paranoid

      Delete
  27. Where is your newest post, cat? You're late!

    Happy New Year to you, Pat. Look back and try to remember all the good stuff…like knowing me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This year was better than last
      I can say that of my past
      I guess knowing a one eye tops the list
      Stupid blogger made it so my recent post was missed

      Delete
  28. I am so glad I don't have to think about finding a date for any time of the year. I am sure you have read Robyns blog... Death by chocolate.. Is that the name of it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah insane people all around
      Seen the ones she has found

      Delete
  29. This makes me realize that dating is highly over-rated!! Smiles.

    ReplyDelete