Monday, December 9, 2013

The Ones We Need At Each Feed!

You know they have a gift basket for this and a gift basket for that, some cause bliss and some help when things go flat. But they do not have the ones we really need. Once again I have to help out at my feed.

Sorry, your brother is a moron.
Could put that right on the lawn.
Could swap the name out to.
So you can use it for anyone at your zoo.

It's not you it's me.
It would say it clearly.
Then no need to lie.
Bet it would go over well with a guy.

Sorry, I shot your foot.
That is just so well put,
That the NRA,
Would have a field day.

Go to hell.
That gift basket would be swell.
It could burn their hand.
Warning, might get sued in your land.

The pleasure was yours.
That will fly from the stores.
Don't you think?
As away you slink.

Happy rope hanging day.
Might go a long way.
A cheer squad,
When no one is there to applaud.

I won one million bucks,
But aww shucks.
All you get is this basket.
They may blow a gasket.

Congrats on weighing 300 pounds.
Will sure get plenty of sounds.
They may sound like a bull moose though.
So you may want to be out of range at your show.

I enjoyed the robbery.
Will prove the thief doesn't relate to snobbery.
The house may be bare,
But at least a gift basket is there.

The final one will have no sign.
Until the recipient eats the food that is divine.
Then they will find the note at the bottom.
I just poisoned you, enjoy your autumn.

Wouldn't those be a hit? I am on a roll at my pit. The cat should charge for these ideas at his barge. For they just come out in mass, much like the gas from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

95 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Without a break # 4
      There are more!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. Lets hope so
      Waffles may strike a blow

      Delete
  2. The NRA wind me up so much, so many things happen and yet they refuse to even try to change. You can fit so much into a gift basket, but I guess it's better than a casket!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah beats a caskett any day
      Plus they are way more expensive at ones bay

      Delete
  3. If you can say 'I won one million bucks'
    That is more than just very good luck
    Giving a little
    Will not whittle
    But not at a casino or will end a duck

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah there we are screwed
      They are rude
      Rigged games
      By many names

      Delete
  4. I'll bet there is some damn good shit in the 300 el bee basket!!!! Much better than the crap you would get in the gift basket if you won the Biggest Loser! Who wants to eat a bunch of power bars? Bring on the chocolate!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah there must be a ton of good stuff
      Have to rival good old state puff

      Delete
  5. Go to Hell - awesome!
    Actually, we do have cards here in the South that say Sorry I shot your foot...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha hmmm makes me want to stay away
      From the south and its foot shooting display

      Delete
  6. It's not met it's you
    I've used that a time or two at my zoo
    Usually doesn't go over so well
    I get told to go to hell

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol yeah much the same
      Never really ends tame

      Delete
  7. Hahahaha Fun Fun Fun
    I laughed at every single one
    The robbery one is such a gas
    Now there's a thief with some class
    Knock, knock who's there...it's just Robin
    I'm Robin you, here's a basket, stop sob'n

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol the thief would be polite
      As he slinks through the night
      Even tells a joke
      What a nice bloke

      Delete
  8. You could start a business, and I bet it'd be a huge hit!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol could get some dough
      I guess you just never know

      Delete
  9. Shall I add these to my list
    in my gift basket business?
    I bet I'd get a lot of orders for them.
    Some truly are gems.
    Forget the coffee, chocolates and bath soap
    Let me tell it like it really is, you dope.
    hahaha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha bet you'd get a bunch
      As many are out to lunch
      Just like the cat
      Just send a kickback to my mat lol

      Delete
  10. ha, i enjoyed the robbery, now that might be taking thankfulness a but far,
    the poison one is best by far, i think i will make my list for order

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol yeah may be a bit of a stretch
      But beats saying I took your stuff now fetch
      Send your list through
      I'll see what I can do

      Delete
  11. I'm still stuttering over your first line. HAHA! You have no idea how appropriate that is for me, right now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha see the cat has a great idea indeed
      Could sell a lot at his feed

      Delete
  12. I wouldn't want a three hundred pound dude to sit on me. Then I'd be making some sounds. Or not.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Might echo a bit
      As on you he continues to sit

      Delete
  13. My brother is a moron. My sister is too. Please send 2 gift baskets over to my zoo. Please fill them with lots of liquor and beer. That way I can get through Christmas dinner without kicking them both in the rear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha a customer already
      They seem to come steady
      Their will be plenty of liquor
      But don't blame the cat if you still bicker

      Delete
  14. I think a Go To Hell gift basket is a fabulous idea!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No need to say a word
      Drop the basket and flip them the bird

      Delete
  15. Replies
    1. Go to the loo
      and get rid of it for you

      Delete
  16. Hahaha... I could use one or two of those gift baskets to give to some family members... On my Hubs side of course.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I could do that with ease
      Rather give them all fleas

      Delete
  17. If you attend the school of Don Rickles mockery, sure. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I can mock away
      Like he does on display

      Delete
  18. Yes! I especially love the "congratulations on being over 300 lbs" one. It should include an invitation to the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas.

    (If you've never heard, it's a disgusting restaurant with monstrous, greasy burgers where people over 300 lbs eat for free, and if you don't finish your whole meal, the waitress spanks you. Seriously)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well I guess I will forever avoid that place
      Don't need any spanking embrace
      Plus there would be no space
      Wonder how they tie their shoe lace

      Delete
  19. Those gift baskets sure come in handy.
    When you don't know what else to get
    They're really quite a dandy!

    ReplyDelete
  20. hmmm. Remind me not to send you a gift basket, lol!
    :-)

    I like to give gift baskets through out the year. I call them my special moment baskets. Recently gave one to a girlfriend with chocolate, a selection of teas I knew she liked, some candles and special bath oils. I also included a new release from an author she loves to read.

    Sia McKye Over Coffee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha well one send that is from you
      Won't be crazy like at my zoo
      That is a nice one you send too
      That is true

      Delete
  21. Might be a business idea in the making

    ReplyDelete
  22. I'd love to see the catalog
    that listed some of these gift baskets
    better yet, I'd love to see who would buy them
    and cause such a racket!

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah I'd like to watch who bought them too
      Here at my zoo

      Delete
  23. You'd always know when someone was going to commit a robbery at least

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is true
      Could call crimestoppers at my zoo

      Delete
  24. You've given me a marketing idea. I'm going to create gift baskets that say "Sorry I shot your foot but you weigh 300 pounds (294 now) so nobody will notice." These should sell well in the US.

    Cheers.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha they will sell across the land
      You'll make more than a grand

      Delete
  25. No baskets I have
    to give this year
    except piss for
    a pot or a pot
    to piss in.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Greeting from dentist:
    we glad to see you
    every year...with new look
    at our hook.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha run away from that one
      Be scary by a ton

      Delete
  27. Uh oh... Pat Hatt ego feeding time...

    Yeah. Pretty awesome.

    Do you rhyme in your sleep? I bet it gets exhausting...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like the ego feed
      Works fine for me indeed

      Delete
  28. Well they have Snark E Cards why not Snark E Baskets, for those times you just don't know what else to say? lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol snark away at my bay
      And share what I have to say

      Delete
  29. You really have a nice way with words. I like how you made some horrific thoughts and ideas sound nice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha can sound nice
      With a little added spice

      Delete
  30. lol Liked the bit about shooting the foot. Very clever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shot in the foot would suck
      But one would be in luck

      Delete
  31. orlin N cassie ...if ewe start sellin hell ina hand baskit, let uz noe coz werd on de streetz iz ...de food serviss galz place oh employ runs on hell ina hand baskit....may bee yurs iz at a better rate !!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hell in a hand basket you say
      That we could try at our bay

      Delete
  32. A tisket, a tasket,
    a Miley Cyrus basket.
    With a twerk, twerk here,
    and a tongue, tongue there.
    It's more or less empty,
    but people still stare.

    VR Barkowski

    ReplyDelete
  33. I like the 'won a million bucks':)

    ReplyDelete
  34. Ha, I would never turn my back on a gift basket.
    I am sure I could find something to do with
    whatever the basket would contain. Smiles!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah there is a bunch one can do
      No matter the gift basket before you

      Delete
  35. Some of these would make great greeting cards too.

    Well done.

    Heather

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha they may not be a nice greet
      Run away before you meet

      Delete
  36. What? No basket on your list
    For the yarn addict?
    Oh, she'll be pissed!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha She may get a sorry you're pissed
      Because that one I missed

      Delete
  37. I never look at a gift basket quite the same,
    And I guess I know who to blame.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I worked with a girl whose boyfriend accidentally shot her.
    I worked with another girl whose boyfriend accidentally shot himself.
    And I work with a girl now whose boyfriend got shot twice with his own gun during a home invasion (all the girlfriends and boyfriends are alive and well now).
    So now I'm thinking, gift baskets from the NRA! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL wow, I'd avoid them near and far
      They sound like when using a gun they got drunk at a bar

      Delete
  39. We'd like to send some hell in a baskets for Christmas! MOL

    Thanks so much for helping out with Lilly! We really appreciate it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha hell in a basket would be grand
      Send them out across the land

      Delete
  40. It's not you, it's me, wait--
    Didn't Seinfeld say that
    when he broke up with a girl
    so she wouldn't unfurl--
    an easy way out
    not to break her heart?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That had to be used
      And abused
      On that show
      A break up basket would fit well with a bow

      Delete
  41. The NRA always has a field day

    when some law with sense comes out of Washington's bay

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is rare though
      Such a law will show

      Delete
  42. I really like the million bucks one, lol.

    ......dhole

    ReplyDelete
  43. I am due a "I enjoyed the robbery basket", thieves have no courtesy these days!

    For some reason I want a glow in the dark basket now.

    ReplyDelete
  44. the bare house with the gift basket spoke a thousand words

    ReplyDelete