Sunday, March 31, 2013

A Darn It Comes Due A Time Or Two!

So dVerse wants us to use the fiction and create a new depiction. Could be any character at all that we can think of at our hall. Of course tons popped in but only one could get the win. For he is going to Disneyland and is there to make his final stand.

CTU, are you there?
Darn it, kid don't stare.
I know Mickey Mouse,
Is in the fun house.

Darn it!
Stop your staring fit.
I'll give you a lollipop,
After the terrorists I drop.

I must get the ring leader,
And I'll make him a bleeder.
That Winnie The Pooh,
His reign is surely through.

Kid, Darn it!
I'll throw you in a ball pit.
Look the other way,
So I can stop terrorists today.

Darn it, kid!
Look, a giant squid!
Good, go play with Minnie,
Now I can get the skinny.

CTU, are you there yet?
Doing everything myself is a safe bet.
Darn it, I only have 24 minutes to go,
Before the end of the show.

Factor in commercial breaks,
And we have to up the stakes.
Pluto is passing nuclear crap,
I have to lure him in a trap.

First there is Daffy Duck,
I'll make him upchuck.
This feather will make him cry,
He'll look at it and think he'll die.

Then he'll tell me where to go,
To find his little hoe.
Then I'll pull her bow,
And she will blow.

Giving him up to me,
Then him I will finally sea.
Not falling for his trap,
And stapling shut his yap.

After he tells me where,
Winnie The Pooh has hidden the plutonium at his lair.
He should never have took the money,
But that is what happens when you are addicted to honey.

Darn it!
After this exposition fit.
I have ten seconds to go.
Here, I'll step on the head of this crow.

Wasn't that great!
What will be Winnie's fate?
Tune in next week,
Darn it, I'm once again up a creek.

I mean stuck in Disneyland,
For my last stand,
With no CTU,
What's Jack Bauer to do?

Had to go there at my lair especially after a stare that said the 24 movie is dead. Yep, that is what they said. Would have sucked probably anyway, but still seeing Jack Bauer back on display would have worked for the cat. So I'll have to settle for using him for the dVerse mat. Happy Easter each lad and lass and yep, no pc from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

My Six Month Rant At My Plant!

So every six months or so I have to bring something to the attention of many at my show. As some don't even know they have it on and it can really annoy at ones lawn. I bet many can guess what that is too. After seeing it before at my zoo. But this time I add some tidbits as well, just in case you did not know at your cell.

For the love of God,
Don't be a Newfie and kiss a cod.
Wait! No need to go there,
Those Newfies are close to my lair.

TURN OFF WORD VERIFICATION at your sea.
Are you able to read that easily?
Good, now that things are understood,
Go into settings at your hood.

Next posts and comments you click,
Then scroll down rather slick.
Click NO!
And away the word verification will go.

While you are there,
You can turn off anonymous posts at your lair.
That will help keep the spamemers away,
And all will have a nice day.

Next go down to other on the right side,
Click it with pride.
Then look up top where it says export blog,
Click it and download a copy of your log.

Do this once a month or so,
That way if you get hacked or something else bothers your show,
Poof! Everything is backed up and ready,
So you can keep posting steady.

Then as some don't know,
To find the stats at your show.
And how people find you,
Like the search terms I shout out at my zoo.

Simply go to stats,
Click traffic sources under the stat mats,
And switch from week to day to whatever,
To find the crazies who aren't so clever.

Now aren't I a helpful cat?
Should get paid at my at.
What is it you have to do,
Right now if you haven't at your zoo?

TURN OFF WORD VERIFICATION NOW!
That is my final meow.
It is no good for nothing at all,
Just a major annoyance at your hall.

There we go, surprising how many don't know. Or then some do and think it helps their zoo. News Flash it does not. Makes many an eye rot and they will avoid you. So turn the crap thing off and flush it down the loo. Now I am done being helpful and teaching class, hope you enjoyed the lecture from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Mona Lisa Seems To Swoon Over The Moon!

The cat thinks this is dumber than buying a bucket of rocks. But I'll say umm truck it and see if I can't get some head cocks. Damn, bad choice of words for the gutter mind. But fun to my little rhyming behind. So a little while back the cat read Mona Lisa gave the moon a smack. That is right, they sent her digitally there  one night. Point in sending stuff to the moon? It clearly escapes this loon. What the hell, let's pretend it is swell.

Let's bombard the moon,
From evening to noon.
It is such fun,
Wasting money by the ton.

Let's send a digital house,
For a digital mouse,
Who runs from a digital cat,
Who lives with digital humans at his mat.

Then some digital trash.
Some digital cream for a digital rash.
A digital Mount Moon would be grand.
Faces looking out across the moon's land.

But with this day in age,
It would be all the digital rage,
To have the faces be,
Bieber, Vampire, Pitt and Clooney.

Arnold would try to buy his digital way in.
Sadly his digital votes would not let him digitally win.
But with a digital pyramid as well,
He would chop of his nose and find that digitally swell.

Maybe some Digimon would try,
To digitally go to the moon through the sky?
Makes just as much sense as this crap.
This idea should quickly take a nap.

Better yet,
One perk found by this pet.
Let's beam all the brains of those,
Who bring forth reality tv woes.

Those that want us to believe the news.
Those that pray for us to lose.
Those that create war,
Let them all get beamed to the moon's shore.

Other than that,
The meaning eludes the cat.
Whoopdi friggin doo,
I can beam things to the moon for no one to view.

I suppose the man in the moon might like such crap. Or there could be an alien there taking a nap. They may laugh at what is done on this globe, finding us too foolish to even bring out the probe. So ends my digital sass. I will now go wiggle my digital little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

A Warning Call That Is Rather Small!

So the cat has made fun of this or that but never the size of what is seen at your mat. It is so small bugs can't even read it. But it needs to be there to cover some nitwit. Even if they are at fault they need to keep their money hidden away in their vault. Now what am I going on about today? I guess we'll just have to rhyme away.

WARNING right in your face.
So big you could easily trace.
Then poof.
It looks like a goof.

For nothing is after it.
Guess someone just wanted to have a fit.
Oh wait!
Could that be an exchange rate?

Maybe it is some voodoo?
An alien tag to view?
A secret code?
A new Mario Land mode?

Damn, I have to squint.
Is the thing covered in tint?
Since when is a package a car?
Are you with me so far?

So many questions may hurt your head.
But you don't want to be dead.
WARNING! Is all you see.
What could it possibly be?

An Archie comic strip?
Recipes for a secret chip?
Something free?
Maybe a way to kill a flea.

That would work for little old me.
Damn, it is still hard to see.
Must be some kind of riddle.
A backwards hey diddle diddle?

I bet you can't do that.
Not even going to be bothered with by the cat.
Oh look a magnifying glass.
Let's see what is with this cryptic sass.

WARNING! Yeah we hear you.
But what else comes due?
Could cause cancer, blindness, liver failure and/or constipation.
Wow, now that is a revelation.

No wonder it is so small.
People would bounce off the wall.
Can't have that being scene.
"This stuff makes you lean."

But causes death in some cases,
May even paralyze faces.
And if your lucky,
Make you talk like Plucky.

I could see it now.
Someone gives a meow.
Buy it here.
It causes tons of stuff but you get nifty gear.

Woudn't that be quite the pitch?
Instead they try to be a sneaky bitch.
Making things oh so tiny,
So no one gets whiny.

Warning! It is time for you to go blind. Thanks to my little rhyming behind. If you can read this props to you. I bet a curse is coming due. You know it is true. Oh the things I can do. Now my warning has come to pass and I warn you to watch out for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Raise Your Paw If You Disobeyed The Law!

So the cat has brought shame and will surely take the blame. He went and ripped apart a pillow case thing and oops, I ripped the tag off and gave it a fling. Pfft screw the law. I ate pieces of it and tore the rest with my claw. What are they going to do? They come near me and some pringle cans will come due. But that law isn't the weirdest one. I found even weirder ones than the last time this was spun.

In Miami and the surrounding place,
It is illegal to put on an animal face.
That is right,
It's illegal to imitate animals day or night.

Also down that way,
Hunting and killing a deer while swimming is illegal they say.
That takes talent though.
Should be an Olympic show.

And if a man feels like going out on the town.
He can't be seen in a strapless gown.
I guess Brian is out of luck.
Can't even waddle like a duck.

Skip over to Hawaii and I hear,
It is illegal for people to stick pennies in their ear.
I guess a nickel is fine,
And a quarter must be divine.

If you skip on over to Maine,
It it illegal to cause your landlord pain.
At least it is illegal to bite your landlord.
I guess you can strangle them with a cord.

And at the NY show.
This you may not know.
In the presence of a horse,
It's illegal to open and close an umbrella with or without remorse.

In an area of Ohio and its smog.
You better not have your head in a fog.
You need to stock up on gas in mass,
For running out is illegal to come to pass.

Down the Tulsa way,
It is illegal to have a kissing display.
Actually it is illegal for three minutes or more.
I guess you better time it if you are at that shore.

Up near the cat's way.
When it is a rainy day.
It is illegal to water your lawn.
I guess the rednecks will have to wait until a clear dawn.

On the other side in BC,
If a Sasquatch you were to see,
It is illegal to kill it.
Better hope it doesn't have a fit.

Skip the pond to England as well,
And you will be caused hell.
Just hang a bed out a window,
And off to jail you'll go.

Ireland is also a bit out there,
For it is illegal to practice witch craft at your lair.
If you do and get caught,
You get thrown in the stocks outside Dublin Castle and are allowed to be pelted with rotten fruit a whole lot.

There are many many more but I don't want to keep you here all day at my shore. They may make a law against that. Then they would fine the cat. That will not do. So have any been broken by you? The cat will break them in mass. I'll rip and eat all the tags off that are in view of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

A dVerse Trance From A Glance!

A little out there today as I go another way, recounting a display I took in the other day. But what the heck, have to go on a different treck every now and again. For all must keep guessing at my den.

Swirling of lips,
Canker to hips.
Wandering toes,
Strike a pose.

Filthy vermin ignite,
Butchering with bite.
Buy two, get free.
Missing crutch or three.

Dropped words quake,
Luck of the mistake.
Binding slithered loose,
Tightening the noose.

Shadows whisp dark,
Fork swells into park.
Blaring panting faints,
Ripening coarse paints.

Paper thin ass spoken,
Drowning absent token.
Withering cash back,
Purchasing die pack.

Sampling treatment aisles,
Nudging broken piles.
Crowding set space,
Numbing womb case.

Stuck with no stick,
Bucking for a trick.
Allowance fortold near,
Embracing shedded tear.

Buttered popcorn smothers,
Overboard from others.
2% dairy withdraw,
Funded with paw.

Blackened hair rises,
Crusting actual disguises.
Preaching curious luck,
Hare of the duck.

Boughten in pounds,
Penny makes the rounds.
Cancelled circulation forgotten,
Borrowing at 0% cotton.

And there we go, felt like stretching my skill at my show. After such a grocery store visit the other day and so mixed and matched for the dVerse display. A whole different kind of class than what usually comes from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, March 25, 2013

I Will Grant Your Wish And Fill Your Dish!

I mean how could the cat not grant such a want after his/her oh so awesome taunt.

"You should interview me on your blog about my new book and my next book too as I am very good at answering questions and will keep your readers entertained the whole way through with my wit and they will like what I have to say even if it doesn't rhyme and maybe I could come back again as well Please Please Please I really like your blog."

Word for word. Damn, reading that even the most laid back grammar nazi would flip you the bird. But the cat isn't like that. So there Mr/Mrs. spammer I'll let you talk away at my mat.

Do you know what a run on sentence is,
And would you like to answer in a multiple choice quiz?

Wow, so many questions at once.
I don't want to look like a dunce.

So was that your answer then?
My aren't I glad you came to my den.

I knew you would be.
I can tell you really like me.

Wow, maybe the cat could find love too.
Or at least give Pat something to do.

Why are you flirting with me?
Not sure I'm into bestiality.

My you are spelling right now.
It must be my great meow.

I always spell right.
Some people just need to adjust their eye sight.

No need to get hostile.
Turn down the dial.

Right, I'm so sorry for that.
I will send you a nice rat.

So what is your book about?
Isn't that the purpose of this shout?

It is soooooo wonderfully great.
All who read it can relate.

Wow, that sounds so magnificent and such.
We wouldn't want you to spoil too much.

I would be pleased to read a passage to all.
It could forever remain, impressing all who visit your hall.

Sure, that would be grand.
I'm sure it will be shouted out across the land.

"The day was sooooooo good looking and the good looking guy held hands with the good looking girl it was such a good time not even the good townspeople could tell you how good it was good thing the two good looking good people had plenty of wood so things could turn out good and so the good people lived happily ever after with a good long walk into the good setting sun that gave them a good smile."

All the cat has to say,
Is that was a good display.
I'm so good and happy you came along.
Good thing they didn't burst into a good song.

But wait there is more.
I was only half done at your shore.

Sorry, we are out of time.
I actually wish you were a mime.
Too many goods for me.
You goodle like a turkey.

Now obviously the cat embellished there about the spammer who came to my lair. But the first shout was word for word. I got all good happy as I flipped them the bird. Oh and their name is ever so tame. Fluffy is what their handle was. Damn, that has a good buzz. Good thing the cat has made all the goods come to pass. Of course fluffy could show her goods to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Top 10 Big And Hairy At My Den!

The 24 Hour Rhyme Time Movie-athon
A Post Every Hour Today At My Lawn

Finally the last one at my bay. This sure took some doing I will say. Kudos to you if you even made half of the ones under my sun. I'll look through and see if any did a 24 comment run and as said a reward could be spun.

Now for the last in no order at my border and the first that comes to mind, it's a Top 10 Scary Animal Movie List from my rhyming behind. This one there is really a ton so just gave the first that popped in a run.


See never trust a mutt,
They will sniff your butt.
Then bite it off.
That has to make you scoff.


Lame as can be.
But the eye still scares me.
With one stomp,
You'd be dead and then he'd chomp.


So many rules.
But they are for fools.
So bring on the Snow White loving creatures.
We'll blow them up during double features.

That music is scary,
And he isn't even hairy.
Wish he would take a berry,
Or just eat a cherry.


Dinos want you for lunch.
There is a whole bunch.
Eat you even on the loo,
So hold it if you have to poo.

 

Poor Kong,
Just wanted to get along.
Was even called King,
And not a Donkey at his wing.


That thing had lots of toys.
That it sure enjoys.
Making you want to win,
By giving a big explosion a spin.


They can roll in a ball,
And chase you down the hall.
Then eat your feet,
Thinking you're a tasty treat.


The killer rat.
Guess he got tired of a cat.
He sure wants to fight back.
Even forcing poor Ben to go on the attack.

And the scariest one of all,
Is the giant running to the mall.
With diapers that will drown you,
Along with boogers that are just ewww.

And that is that. 24 hours of movie posts from the cat on the birthday of Pat. Never fear, as this is the only time I'll do this all year. So did you keep up with each pass? Sure was fun to watch by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Top 10 Comedy At My Den!

The 24 Hour Rhyme Time Movie-athon
A Post Every Hour Today At My Lawn

Are you exhausted yet? So fun to do by this pet. As one an hour keeps up all day. For Pat's birthday and because picking ten last Monday annoyed me we are having a movie day at my bay. If you are able to comment on every one, may get a little reward under my sun!

In no order at my border and the first that come to mind, it's a Top 10 Comedy Movie List from my rhyming behind. This one there is really a ton so just gave the first that popped in a run.


Making the druggies think they were insane,
By going back and forth in each lane.
The flasher too,
 Sure that could thrill a few.


Yeah it had a mutt,
But still a fun view at each hut.
Unless plastic blubber lips comes on scene.
Not talking about the guy who's green.


Before he was an ass,
He was funny even when crass.
Had another ghostbuster too,
My what can happen when egos are few.


Agree in every way.
Work sucks each day.
Be fun to burn the place down.
Although one may be wanted across town.


Just the title alone,
Can make many groan.
As the joke has been done.
But aren't meatballs fun?

Off to the line,
For more than moonshine.
As the try to escape,
Gonna need a superman cape.


Nothing remains idle,
As Santa goes all suicidal.
All from a bet for a dollar.
Would make any man holler.


Crash away,
And get the lay,
Or so they say.
Try a funeral next at your bay.


Another where man goes girl,
Giving their wig a whirl.
But just so fake,
Hard not to give it a take.


Lots of action too,
But the perfect blend of the two.
Unlike the sequels to it,
As 3 really was shit.

Another one down, now now don't frown. Just wait an hour or less than that and a new list will come from the cat. Going for 24 posts in one day. Damn, even I may get all movied out at my bay. Can you keep up with each pass? Sure fun to watch by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Top 10 You Probably Never Seen At My Den!

The 24 Hour Rhyme Time Movie-athon
A Post Every Hour Today At My Lawn

Are you exhausted yet? So fun to do by this pet. As one an hour keeps up all day. For Pat's birthday and because picking ten last Monday annoyed me we are having a movie day at my bay. If you are able to comment on every one, may get a little reward under my sun!

In no order at my border and the first that come to mind, it's a Top 10 Films You've Probably Never Seen Movie List from my rhyming behind.


The title alone,
Ought to make you hold the phone.
Plus throw in monster truck races,
And dogs that get funny faces.

Starring the Full House girl,
Well worth a whirl.
Classic little guy against big bad.
Not all fun at the amusement park is had.


Night shift and a thief save the day?
Or maybe they get blown away?
Look a movie reference within another one.
This one sure is fun.

May never have heard of this one,
But should be given a run.
As all the adults die,
Oh me oh my.


Feck Texas is said,
As bandits try and rip off their head.
Enjoyed it way more than most,
New things that hit my coast.


Still relevant today,
As not much changes at the work bay.
Still all about the dough,
And how ones career can grow.

N

Only allowed one kid.
No more or the bad guys will flip their lid.
And into jail you will go,
Only a few years left before it takes place at your show.


Pretending to be in high school,
An becoming oh so cool.
Yeah why would you want to go back there?
Maybe to get rid of facial hair?


Stuck on an island with no way out.
That is where all the thieves pout.
The ones who don't deserve it as well.
Throw them all there, what the hell.


A romp through time,
On Mickey's dime.
Was really well done,
Even Bond himself gave it a run.

Another one down, now now don't frown. Just wait an hour or less than that and a new list will come from the cat. Going for 24 posts in one day. Damn, even I may get all movied out at my bay. Can you keep up with each pass? Sure fun to watch by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Top 10 You May Have Skipped At My Den!

The 24 Hour Rhyme Time Movie-athon
A Post Every Hour Today At My Lawn

Are you exhausted yet? So fun to do by this pet. As one an hour keeps up all day. For Pat's birthday and because picking ten last Monday annoyed me we are having a movie day at my bay. If you are able to comment on every one, may get a little reward under my sun!

In no order at my border and the first that come to mind, it's a Top 10 That You May Have Skipped Movie List from my rhyming behind.


Who wouldn't want such a power?
The money could shower,
As you gamble away.
A bit cheesy but a fun display.


This one came out of the blue,
Decided to give it a view.
Even sung those were the days,
Watching All in the Family pays.


That wouldn't be such a hard task,
Then again depends on who you'd ask,
To get rid of the dough.
I'd go for it though.


Just because you are paranoid,
And things you avoid,
Does not mean Professor X isn't after you.
Although you still may have a loose screw.


Great idea pulled off well.
Would be freaky as hell,
If it really happened to you.
Oh what time travel can do.


A newer one,
But quite fun,
With time travel once more,
Didn't mean for two in a row with that at my shore.


Could have skipped you by,
But revenge is grand with a tiger eye.
Getting those guys,
Who run into a line proving they aren't wise.


Watching him get down the tower,
Like a dead flower,
Was quite grand,
As he teaches the double d's in army land.


Have fun with life,
Get rid of your crazy wife,
Smoke some pot,
Don't act like a robot.


Just had to give this a pass.
Los Locos kick your ass,
Los Locos kick your face,
Los Locos kick your balls into outer space.

Another one down, now now don't frown. Just wait an hour or less than that and a new list will come from the cat. Going for 24 posts in one day. Damn, even I may get all movied out at my bay. Can you keep up with each pass? Sure fun to watch by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Top 10 You Maybe Did Not See At My Den!

The 24 Hour Rhyme Time Movie-athon
A Post Every Hour Today At My Lawn

Are you exhausted yet? So fun to do by this pet. As one an hour keeps up all day. For Pat's birthday and because picking ten last Monday annoyed me we are having a movie day at my bay. If you are able to comment on every one, may get a little reward under my sun!

In no order at my border and the first that come to mind, it's a Top 10 Of Ones You May Not Have Seen Movie List from my rhyming behind.


Lose your book,
It won't get you off the hook.
Yet you'll still get to watch the cubs,
Just don't get on any video hubs.


An ending like no other,
Copied by another.
But one you may not see,
As it is very tricky.


Going all cool,
A politician that is a fool,
And not afriad to show it.
Maybe if more did so things would improve a bit.


Got a new heart,
So he could keep pushing a cart.
Going after that evil guy,
Who may be right under his eye.


Didn't know what they needed,
But things were seeded,
That sure came due,
As all tried for a screw.


Has to save his fish,
Thinking all want to turn him into a tasty dish.
But then they blame the Japanese.
I guess jumping jacks do not please.


With each disguise,
He builds up the lies.
But can be oh so wise,
As he gives his news cries.


Walk like a man,
With angels as a fan.
Stuck to you like glue,
More than one or two.


If you want to shut ones yap,
Take your car for a lap.
Then ram them over and over again.
Although you may need a new car at your den.


A story that is true,
Money fell off a truck right in plain view.
I'd take it and run too,
But this guy had no clue.

Another one down, now now don't frown. Just wait an hour or less than that and a new list will come from the cat. Going for 24 posts in one day. Damn, even I may get all movied out at my bay. Can you keep up with each pass? Sure fun to watch by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.