Monday, September 30, 2013

Two Light Hearted Fools Have Laundry Nazi Duels!

After Just Keepin It Real, Folks had at it, revealing she was in aw of looking at people with a zit, she sure had to be the next feature on the way, as we journey to the Bora Bora bay.

Aliens hold nothing on her,
With her love of things that would make ones eyes blur.
Knows squirrels taste like chicken too.
But that is known by a few.

But worst of all,
Such a laundry nazi at her hall.
Has to be done on this day.
Or things could go astray.

Not to mention her candy crush,
And the fact she doesn't flush.
That had to all factor in,
As we go on another video run at my bin.

I think the disco dancing fool,
Better pull up a stool.
For the duel,
The the cows find cool.

What am I going on about?
Now now don't pout.
Just click play,
And all will be revealed at my bay.


See wasn't that a load of bull? Of some bull that was full. She sure took the bull by the horns. I hope she didn't perform acts with ears of corns. Pat is quit a bully too. But she did try and shoot him upon view. Redneck with a gun. See that and you better run. Or bring forth power in mass then they will no longer bother my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

The Moon Above Causes Polar Bear Love?

So dVerse has artwork on display from Catrin's bay. The cat just had to give them a go. Such a great artwork show. Polar bears are even getting freaky. How's that for cheeky?


So it started when some loon,
Tried to decorate the moon.
Little did she know.
That the wind would blow.

So down she fell.
The landing wasn't swell.
Because she only got half the moon,
Things started to get freaky by noon.


Houses started to fly.
They went right up into the sky.
Sadly it did not take.
They crashed and caused an earthquake.

But don't worry about the guy.
He continued to fly.
 I hear he's now a spy,
A peeping tom in the sky.


The dandelion seeds were upset.
They began to fret.
Then joined as one,
Flying towards the sun.

They wanted to be warm,
Or pretend to be a snow storm.
They even stole a guys top hat.
Vegetation thieves, how rude is that?


Then the fish grew,
So large they could eat you.
Won't have to worry about mercury,
From eating fish in the sea.

They will just eat thee.
Then you will cease to be.
Becoming fish crap.
That poor chap.


But it wasn't bad for hall.
This guy was on the ball.
He needed to get across the sea,
And wanted to do it for free.

So he hitched a ride.
Made it with such pride.
The fish was not impressed.
He found it hard to digest.


And then there were the freaky,
Who let polar bears get cheeky,
As in grab their butt.
They were worse than a mutt.

They got all feely too.
At least he's got a good view.
And this all happened because some fool,
Thought decorating the moon was cool.

There you go all of them used from the dVerse show. You can't stop the cat no matter what at my mat. Fur on skin, still think rednecks will consider that a win. Sorry Grace, had to use your embrace. So never again let decorating the moon come to pass or you may turn me into a gigantic little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, September 28, 2013

When Sleep Does Creep!

You know you humans are a strange bunch. But that is nothing new that you are out to lunch. Yet there you are tired as can be and you still refuse to sleep like me. Just curl up in the cupboard some day. I bet you will like it at your bay.

There you are a zombie self,
Sitting in front of the screen at your shelf.
I hope no one hacks your WebCam.
Especially if you look like toe jam.

That is neither here nor there.
I'll get to it at my lair.
I don't need to see a zombie anywhere.
You humans are funny enough to make me stare.

So if things start to blur,
Like your eyes are full of fur.
Or you start to see the dead,
And began to nod your head.

Or maybe even trip over your own feet.
Some do that in the street.
Then hit their head on a car.
Or maybe you will just fall in tar.

The birds of a feather can flock together.
Or you can just wait for stormy weather.
Your eyes are already baggy anyway.
But it doesn't matter everything is saggy at your bay.

It just all mixes in.
I know that is such a sin.
Now where was I?
Let's give this another try.

Oh right!
It doesn't need to be night.
You don't need to look at your poor night light.
I know the bogeyman is a scary sight.

But just don't pick and flick.
Then there will be none there to stick.
Aren't I so helpful today?
Like I am with everything I say.

Hey, I helped someone out there.
Zombie Feet can be a turn on at ones lair.
Now back to the task at hand.
When your eyes want to shut at your land,

Go ahead and do so.
Then maybe you humans will not be so slow.
Unless of course you are behind the wheel.
Then you may not want to seal the deal.

That is my advice for today. It is so easy to sleep anyway. Just curl up in a corner on the floor. Or tie a hammock to the door. Then some sleep will easily come to pass. And your zombie self will no longer scare my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, September 27, 2013

How Does My Garden Grow? Now You Know!


In case you did not see by now with my headers that like to wow, they are as random as can be. One of the six will show randomly when you come to my sea. But this new one had to get its own post. All have to know how the litterbox err umm garden grows at the cat's coast.

Come for a stare,
Here at my lair.
You can see a garden of fame.
How many can you name?

The Gawker and his hawk,
Sit there and gawk.
Is he staring at my butt?
Boy, what a nut.

Numb Tongue is there,
With such flair.
Is she licking the ground?
She's as bad as a hound.

Santa Claus decided to show.
Oops, he has no Christmas bow.
That is just Grammar Nazi there.
Call him Santa and he may blare.

The blue guy was an easy pick.
Grumpy Goo isn't very slick.
Easy to point out.
May as well be a trout.

Speaking of animals on display.
Duckbill Sherry came out to play.
But if she starts to quack,
I'll bury her with Gloria at my shack.

A ninja wannabe for all to see,
Poor Alex isn't very stealthy.
He fell right in the hole.
Good thing being a ninja isn't his end goal.

Look at that drunk.
She is in a funk.
Poor Irish Air.
At least she looks like she doesn't have a care.

And last but not least.
There is the one eyed beast.
See, the cat told you so.
Old one eye has one whole eye at her show.

And if they get tired of looking at the cat,
Like whoever would get tired of that?
They can turn and have a peek,
At a scarecrow mooning all at my creek.

Damn, the cat is good here in his hood. A talking litterbox that can be understood, at least most of the time. I could charge a huge fee and get plenty a dime. Some were easier to do than others at my zoo, as they have pics on cue or a weird quirk that makes the cat smirk. But if you are desperate to be buried below the grass. It can be done by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Pound Sand Tunes Up The Band!

If the cat has an "accident" after this becomes known with its catchy tone, don't believe it one bit. They just could not take my wit. The cat may have to hide away. Those men in black may come to my bay.

Thanks to dVerse a few weeks back,
I went all crass at my shack.
Pound sand up your ass came due,
Which confused a few.

Where did it come from?
Who would do such a thing to their bum?
Who would even think of it?
Can't tell you one bit.

But I can make it well known,
With a brand new tone.
I'll throw all a bone.
Dog reference, groan.

Could be in the top 40 soon,
With my catchy tune.
Or be told to pound sand,
But getting hate can be grand.

So without further adieu,
The cat presents to you,
A way to never forget in your land,
The meaning of Pound Sand.



So how was that? Should I be afraid at my mat? The cat will have to hide under the bed. dVerse is totally to blame for what I said. But one word was spelled wrong, so that nulls the song. The men in black do not need to trespass and bother my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Damn Snip Snip, I Can't Get A Good Grip!

So first work showed Pat that hump day video as all huddled in a row. Then Al had it at his show. Next Truedessa showed it too the cat. I think I have to do something on that. Either that or someone is really trying to send a sign, saying one needs to get more lucky than avoiding get jumped on by the feline.

Hump day.
Camels at play.
Filled to the brim,
With enough water to swim.

But does that hold water?
Are you a six day squatter?
One whole day.
You come out to play.

And with a camel too.
That is rather eww.
Your spirit is lighted.
Hump day is sighted.

It comes and it goes.
Don't curl your nose.
It is very true.
Maybe in multiple ways for you.

Have to keep you on your toes,
While all workers hump in rows.
They hump it to work.
Must really be a perk.

They hump it home.
Boy, do workers roam.
Why does Pat complain,
About the 9 to 5 lane?

Hump it all day long.
How can that be wrong?
Unless you are over the hump.
Then you might be a grump.

Nothing can tickle your fancy.
That is why you are so chancy.
Camels and all.
Have yourself a ball.

I bet his name,
Truly brings fame.
Hump day for Humphrey.
A bump for you and a bump for me.

Humpty Dumpty might get mad.
A hump fight could be had.
Damn, that sounds bad.
Have a happy humping day at your pad.

So in case you aren't in the know. Geico did the whole camel hump day commercial for all to give a go. But then you would have to live under a rock to not have seen that at your dock. The cat's humping of hump day has come to pass. Now I will go hump along with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

The dVerse Title Of Me At My Sea!

So I have done it when taking a stroll through the blog roll. Now let's give it a try under my blog title sky. It will surely be dVerse, if not a bit perverse.

We find some hicks with number six.
I bet they do plenty of tricks.
The bee's knees without fleas.
But I bet you still sneeze.

With a single drop comes a dVerse pop.
I hear they pop nonstop.
A New York minute part two! Brian, Screw You!
Yeah, he made me do part two.

Time to end this crime with a rhyme chime about the mime.
That one surely must have not been sublime.
Opening it can be quite dVerse making you curse.
I suppose it could be worse.

The case of Mr. Blue on Whoopdi Friggin Doo.
I still say it was something to do with glue.
Going to the fair to leave some cat hair.
And I did it with such flair.

Okay you stinkin American crazies! Time to stop smelling the drugged up daises.
That is sure to annoy some and bring out the actual crazies.
Do not forget to stop and stare as hazards are everywhere.
And some even are so mean they charge a fare.

A little more doom and a lot more gloom.
I wonder if he ate a bad mushroom?
We all greet never to meet.
Fine by me if you have zombie feet.

There are wild things? I'll clipped their wings.
Ouch, I'm sure much pain that brings.
Shove a pencil through her eye! Such violence, Oh My!
I could guess who that was about on the first try.

A dVerse hum about your gum.
It was a hum and then some.
Time to swoon to the tune.
I guess that makes me a singing loon.

All should tremble as the nut jobs assemble.
I can still feel that scary tremble.
The cat is the star this will go far.
Just look, I'm not covered in tar.

No plane or train making us go down the third person lane.
It had to be about the guy with half a brain.
Out of the city for this little ditty.
Sadly, now I'm still there what a pity.

Titles come and titles go. Do you remember any of these at my show? I got 90% or so. So, how does your grass grow? I hope it grows in mass. I like to eat the big stuff with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, September 23, 2013

What Some Do Confuses At My Zoo!


So the cat has much things to do like tear up a shoe, or at least to chew the laces, then it is off to the races. But there are some things people do near and far that prove they have nothing to do at their bar. What may that be you ask? See below for such a task.

Your life is grand, your life is great.
For you can do this at any rate.
Stare at cheese for extended periods of time.
My, that is so sublime.

You watch your clock keep time for fun.
Are you trying to learn how to do it with the sun?
You climb a glass wall to see what's on the other side.
That must give you such wonderful pride.

You play darts with an inflatable dartboard.
You measure the length of a vacuum cord.
You make paper chains to decorate for a wedding.
Did you use the extra for bedding?

You try to fly by jumping off the roof and flapping your arms.
That also must raise some loonie bin alarms.
You dress up like Garfield and pretend to be a cat.
There is something wrong with that.

You sing a song about grasshoppers.
Don't do it in front of mass coppers.
You have a collection of pet rocks.
They even have their own socks.

You have conversations with golf balls.
More fun than playing golf at your halls.
You play bingo with the dog.
And he beats you because he's quite the hog.

You count out a million dollars in pennies each week.
My, you can count fast at your creek.
You play dot to dot with bug bites on your arms.
You go around stealing everyone's lucky charms.

You jump into the Grand Canyon to see what's at the bottom.
You paint leaves on the trees to make it look like autumn.
You count the hairs on your head.
If you are bald forget what I said.

You begin to make some pants,
For all those pesky ants.
You watch your reflection in the mirror,
I hope things become clearer.

You rotate the tires on your car every day,
I guess there would be no need to go to the gym bay.
I guess whatever keeps you busy and glad,
Although to do most of this you must be mad.

Now does that not all sound like fun to do under your sun? Get right on counting those pennies at your bay. You might get done by next May. And the Grand Canyon jump might be a one way trip but at least no one will give you lip. The cat would rather just pass gas out his little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Myths Told Ever So Bold!

So today dVerse wants us to go all peace at our sea. Peace and quiet can sometimes come to me. Pieces of this or that can also come to the cat. But peace as a whole, where the whole world takes a peaceful stroll? Nothing but a myth I'm sorry to say, as long as you got the bankers making the power play.

Peace will come due.
It will come to me and you.
You just wait and see.
After all we are already so free.

Have to keep it that way.
So come and join the fray.
Help the bankers out.
Go to war and scream and shout.

What? No villian has come to pass?
What about that dog with weapons of mass destruction up its ass?
Yeah, that is one evil sight.
Ready your guns, we have to fight.

Oopsy! It was just shit.
But our head isn't full of it.
There are still such weapons here.
That cactus and its sharp thorns is something to fear.

Bow down fluoride heads.
Hide under your beds.
Evil lurks in every other place.
Just look at that head case.

He disagrees with our way.
He won't sell oil to our bay.
He raises his fist to the sky.
They all have to die.

We need oil by the tankers.
That has to appease the bankers.
Voting makes a difference you say?
Sure, if you have the money to pay.

Then we'll come to your aid.
Otherwise your cares will fade.
If they are even heard at all.
Corrupt? Nah, its called standing tall.

Something is needed to keep our spine straight.
After all, without the money we'd deflate.
So bring on the great fake war.
Those cactus's are scary at that other shore.

I think one gave me the evil eye.
Believe each and every media girl or guy.
We don't have them under our thumb.
Peace, a myth, just stay dumb.

Sad but true. Peace will never come due. At least as long as the world is run by bankers and other corrupt greedy ass bloody wankers. You can stick your head in the sand and pretend its not there, thinking governments really care. But it still is a load of crap that comes to pass. I'll bet peace will never be seen by you or my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

A Little Care At My Lair!

You know it is noticed by the cat so many like to be nosy at their mat. And they blame curiosity on the cat. I think we should dispute that. For many busybodies buzz about and they have to give a little shout.

That guy over there has no money.
Did you hear he likes to dress as a bunny?
It also has four toes.
I think he only has one pair of clothes.

That one over there is shacked up,
With some young pup.
He also has a lazy eye.
I think he also has a thing for pie.

Then he likes to warm the bench.
I hear he has a shiny wrench.
He also makes art out of sticks.
His house is made of bricks.

He always looks rather lost.
I hear out of his house he was tossed.
Simply because he couldn't see clearer,
When he went to look in the mirror.

That one over there has a dog.
He lets it sit all day like a log.
It sits on his own little grass.
That guy really has no class.

That one over there,
Never does her hair.
I hear she also wears no underwear.
That has to mean she is having an affair.

That one likes to bite her nails.
She also collects dead snails.
She has tons of dolls on the wall.
She even has pink wallpaper down the hall.

She never watches reality TV.
That just confuses me.
She must really have no taste.
I hear she even recycles her waste.

She is always so very clean.
It is almost so serene.
She has to be a cheat.
I bet she sleeps in concrete.

That one has a case of gas.
She also likes to roll in the grass.
I hear she has a singing bass.
That is just one screwed up lass.

The cat could go on forever with this little endeavor. But I think you get the point as many people get their nose out of joint, worried about what others do. While most have their head in the sand at their zoo. But then I may worry about getting to close to a lass who has a bad case of gas. Then again maybe she will just feel right at home with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, September 20, 2013

A Date With The Hate!

So it has been a while since we went to what to do mile. I figured it was time to go that way with the hateful people on display the other day. They just call on in and sure say words that are considered a sin.

What to do, What to do
When hateful people call you

What to do?
The phone goes moo,
Or whatever else you have set to,
There at your zoo.

And on the other end,
Is someone who's gone around the bend.
You never heard from them before.
But they still blame you at your work shore.

The obvious click,
Could beat the dick.
Or you could yell back,
Giving them some flack.

But that is no fun.
Why not give the hate such a run?
Simply turn it around on them,
It may or may not ease their flem,

Yet it will be fun to do.
Let's see how you can follow through.
Repeat what they say.
Or ask a question with a question at your work bay.

Could ask them what they had for dinner.
That is sure to be a winner.
Could tell them about the weather.
Or ask them if they look good in leather.

Could tell them it is publishers clearinghouse.
And they just won a golden mouse.
Or they just won a free trip.
But lost it with what came off their lip.

The best of all,
Just read the writing on the wall.
Take every single thing they say,
And go literal at your bay.

Like if they were to say ass,
You could tell the lad or lass,
The donkeys all ran away.
They will have to try back another day.

But if all else fails,
And they still give wails.
Tell them they are absurd,
Then just flip the bird.

What? They can't see you anyway at your work hut. So let them be stuck in their rut. Of course I'm just want to vent and some you want to tell to get bent. But there are more fun ways to go about it and maybe relieve their fit. See no need to talk crass. Now the cat is done being a helpful little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Back We Go With The Two Light Hearted Fools Putting On A Show!

So as it will say below, I guess that guy is really in the know, the cat wants to go take a nap. So I figured it was time we check in with the two nuts, one of whom spilled Grumpy Goo's guts. (P.S. Big fluke today never even meant to post it on talk like a pirate day.)

They try to get to a Bora Bora beach,
But it always seems so out of reach.
First the blue guy got in the way.
Now something else is on display.

But I really have to say.
I am glad they use a fake representation of the rhyming cat today.
You will soon see why.
Damn, those things in the sky.

But someone who says he cannot rhyme,
Comes in and gives off a little chime.
Yes, it is Jackie Chan.
Wait! It's just Alex the ninja wannabe man.

It seems he wants everyone to look,
Even when aliens are attacking at your nook,
To his brand new book.
So he hopped the spaceship like a crook.

Have I confused you yet?
I bet that is a safe bet.
So just go and click play.
Once more having Truedessa, Pat, The Fake Representation of The Rhyming Cat and now Alex on display.


The cat is much more original than just doing this, but here are the links anyway so none hiss.



I do not know which is worse about that, watching an alien take delight in probing a cat, or the vision I just got of grannies in panties at my hut. Excuse me while I go bleach my brain mass. I feel like such a dirty little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

And That Makes Two At My Zoo!

So I hope I have gotten better with age as each day a post graces my page. Don't get confused as we are still in season three of little old me. But this post is to celebrate two. Two of what you ask at my zoo? I guess you just will have to be patient that is all. And just read the writing on the wall.


I bet that at least one knows.
Hit every post even when the cat watched crows.
At least with the longest run,
At the moment under my sun.

But now back on to the two,
That could be confusing many of you.
Don't look down at your shoes.
Having to have those should not be news.

Same goes for your socks.
Brian, even mismatched ones won't get any head cocks.
At least not here.
Yes, you humans have two buns on your rear.

But I really don't want to go there.
That is the last thing I want to see bare.
Enough with the two body parts.
You aren't going to get anywhere at your carts.

What was that you say?
You need something on display?
That I guess I can do.
It may even give you a clue.



Does that help you some?
Or are you still playing dumb?
Nope, wrong once more.
It isn't two cats at my shore.

I just put that there to get some attention.
Plus the cat's ego likes to get a mention.
It has gotten pretty big, I know.
But today makes it really grow.

Very few have done this task.
What is it I hear you ask?
I guess I can tell you now.
I know it will truly wow.

Today marks the two year mark,
Of when I started posting every day at my park.
Have not missed a day in two whole years.
I think that deserves my rhyming cheers.

Yep, two whole years and I have not missed a single day. Not many can say that at their bay. Who knows if I'll keep it up for another year or maybe will be here after eight more when I give ten a cheer. I guess we will have to wait and see what comes to pass from my every day little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

A dVerse Ear Comes Near!

So as Pat walks down the hall he hears more than a cat call. Many around are rather loud. Some are also rather proud. He kept some in his head of what they said and now the cat will put this dVerse post to bed.

"Take that you ****ing noob."
Think he shot the noob in the boob?
"I have a story to tell"
I bet it is swell.

"Eww ee ahhh."
Plug my ears with my paw.
"Today I am going to do it."
Didn't we already cover that bit?

"Why are you such a pain in the ass?"
 Someone pissed off a lass.
"It is going to rain today."
Thanks for the weather report at my bay.

"Sorry, I stepped on your..."
Just left me hanging a little after four.
"There are two ways this could go."
Obviously watching a TV show.

"Hi honey."
Must be a cat, voice went funny.
"Take your pills today?"
Yes, but thanks anyway.

"Parking there is a bitch."
I feel that itch.
"Brian, did the KFC give you gas?"
Wow the gawker is here taking a pass.

"I can't believe you spent that money."
Won't be calling her honey.
"If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck."
It's a goose crap outta luck?

"Why do you have so many shoes?"
Women and shoes, this is news?
"How many times have you tried that?"
Well if exercise is involved they won't get fat.

"We are out of coffee!"
Oh no, there is a coffee stealing spree.
"That is not what you do with that."
Any guesses? Stumps the cat.

"Cry me a river."
All that water may make me shiver.
"It is not out yet."
Did it get caught in a net?

And that was some of what Pat heard as he walked by each day. Most of them keep things at bay. But some are easy to hear. They just make us peer. Some are also very crass, it hurts the virgin ears of my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, September 16, 2013

It's Number Three Featuring Me!

So it's about time for another book to be shown at my nook. Did you think I would miss a month at my sea? Pfft I have them lined up until well after the Christmas tree. But this one is the longest I have done with the children's book run. And of course it stars little old me, not to mention Cassie.

This time we are out and about,
When we hear a shout.
It is some baboon,
Selling a balloon.

So we try to get some,
As I beat the war drum,
For Pat's birthday.
In real life that is far away.

But for the sake of the story,
We go with it in all its glory.
And of course things don't go swell.
From the pics below can you tell?







Click here to have fun with my rear. 
(You know what I mean. Don't make a scene.)

Yeah, we are in for a fight.
For those balloons made us take flight.
Now we ended up in the wild.
Things don't end up being mild.

So join in on adventure number three,
With me and Cassie.
As we take that anteater down,
And try to get home to our part of town.

There we go, that makes 19 at our show. 20 will come due next month from me. Maybe even 22 will hang from my tree. I guess we shall wait and see as the cat is a busy bee. But more will surely come to pass from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Pound Or Rope? Either Way You Have No Hope!

So I could be all clean like Mary but I would rather be contrary. dVerse wants sayings of some kind? I got those coming out my behind. Let's see what can come to pass as I burn the candle on both ends like that Mary lass.

Go Pound Sand Up Your Ass
Now that is rather crass.
I wonder who made that up.
Did they watch a pup?

Maybe they were at the beach,
And went around to reach,
There they found lots of sand.
I bet they figured it wasn't grand.

So they used it from that point on,
To get people off their lawn.
I bet it would be hard to do.
But never trying at my zoo.

Go Piss Up A Rope
Now that would not be dope.
Can it even be done?
It would just be no fun.

They would not say 'there's mud in your eye."
Something else they'd surely spy.
While you sat and had a cry.
Should not try to piss up a rope, fyi.

Did you know it was a song?
Piss up a rope can do no wrong.
Kinda catchy too.
But only an adult should view.

Better To Be Pissed Off Than Pissed On.
I can see how that would dawn.
It is very true too.
Hand and hand could go the last two.

You can wish in one hand and shit in the other than tell me which on fills up first.
My, that is one long arse burst.
I guess if wishes were shit.
You have quite a bit.

You couldn't poor piss out of your boot with the instructions on the heel.
So wordy, what is your deal?
But all of these turn out rather ewww.
So balls on a heifer is all I have left to say at my zoo.

Damn, dVerse made me go all dirty today. Not even any gutter at play. Blame them for that. It is not the cat. Wait! The pound sand one I seem to have at my gate. Said the rope one too at any rate. Okay, you can blame me for being crass. I am such a dirty little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

When It Comes Listen To The Hums!

Can't think of an idea at your sea? Then one comes in a flash oh so suddenly. But what happens when it comes when you don't want it to? Much fun can surely ensue.

Driving alone down the road,
Radio in full blast mode.
Flipping off drivers here and there.
Then an idea pops in by the pair.

Slam on the brakes,
That is all it takes,
So you can write down and remember.
Sadly, a crash may leave you unable to write until November.

At a party getting drunk.
Trying to work yourself out of a funk.
You shoot another one back.
Then an idea gives a whack.

You try to write it on a napkin or your hand.
But you can't make it out in your land.
Shouted out to a friend.
But with your slurs they think you are around the bend.

Could even come when doing the humpty hump,
As you feel up each umm clump.
Yes, come did not escape my sight.
But the gutter is a whole other plight.

You could get lucky and it doesn't last long,
You can quit playing human ping pong.
But if you are rather screwed,
My choice of words is rather rude,

But I don't really care,
I'll go just about anywhere.
Anyway, you could just scratch it on your partners back.
Although then things could get bloody at your shack.

Could be in line at the grocery store.
I know that is far less fun at your shore.
But in between the Cheerios and hot dogs,
Around could go the wheels on the cogs.

You could ask for a pen and paper.
But they would probably charge you for such a caper.
So just steal a diaper from the screaming kid in line.
It beats having to scratch it on someones spine.

See, where there is a will there is a way.
I just thought I would point that out today.
Thankfully my head is always full of stuff.
So if I lose one it is not so rough.

Have you ever done any of that at your mat? It is okay to admit even if one came when you were swapping spit. Today I was a little crass. But it so delights my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Some Days In Many Ways!

That saying it is just one of those days, can be taken lots of ways. Let's see how many I can do as I go about it at my zoo.

Some days are good,
Some days are bad.
Some days the wood,
Is not there to be had.

Some days you get burnt,
Others you get bent.
But at least you can say you learnt,
Where not to pitch a tent.

Some days fly by,
Some days go slow.
But look to the sky,
And see the ducks in a row.

Some days are old,
Some days are new.
Just dig for gold,
But don't turn blue.

Some days are young,
Some days are obsolete,
Let things be hung.
Unless you have flat feet.

Some days are silly,
Some days are crappy.
So just go all willy nilly,
But make sure it's snappy.

Some days are up,
Some days are down.
Just put something extra in your cup,
And you will never frown.

Some days have no time,
Some days have too much.
But well in your prime,
Try hard in the clutch.

Some days are gone,
Some days will come.
There is always a con,
So walk as you hum.

Some days are alive,
Some days are dead.
As long as you survive,
Don't worry your pretty little head.

Some days I go all different ways. Did any of that sound dirty as you gaze? My words are like a maze with my rhyming craze. Now I will go eat some grass as today I am a hungry little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Gone Wrong As They Sing Their Song!

Today we will see how they go wrong when they sing their same old song. I guess technically they are not the same, but they are far less tame. I still skip them either way. But I can still make fun at my bay.


Don't you want to drink,
Something that has the link,
Of taking a piss?
That is just something you can't miss.


And it's okay to be a thief,
Maybe even give subjects grief.
You just have to be king,
Plastic face and all at your wing.


Brains are overrated.
We'll get someone who's deflated.
That will sell a ton.
Haircuts are overrated under any sun.


This makes me pity the mutt.
We can't have that at any hut.
Too small to even sniff up a butt.
Poor guy is in a rut.


 They even declare it is okay to be a flasher.
Or maybe that's just a McDonald's trasher.
I'll go with the first one.
He looks the type for such a thing to be done.


Let's now take a moment to embrace,
The life of the double face.
One head is not enough.
It takes two to have the right stuff.


Is that redneck speak?
I'd never go near the creek.
Nothing will come to pass,
Up my little rhyming ass.


And yes let's spend money on money.
That will make things so sunny.
If I had a nickel for every time I said that,
I'd have shoe at my mat.


Makes you feel so safe.
I bet the seat surely does chafe.
At least they were able to get it off the ground.
I figured they would just tow it around.


And best of all help the NRA.
Don't buy clothes at your bay.
Just go out and buy a gun.
Don't be stupid, have fun.

See the cat can watch commercials to. Now you know what I get out of them at my zoo. Not a whole hell of a lot. At least the gun covered up things that may have been hot to trot. Now I am done with my commercial sass. So I will go protect my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Some Fun Facts Again Here At My Den!

So today away we will go with another little ditty of did you know. For there are plenty of weird and wacky facts out there. They provide plenty of ammo for my lair.

Bananas are more than just a toy.
They can cure stress and anxiety to bring joy.
In Japan most cell phones are waterproof.
So when they talk in the shower nothing will go poof.

Shower sexting the next rage?
I will move on at my page.
In 1939 the New York Times predicted TV would fail.
I wonder what they said about email?

In one day your heart beats 100,000 times.
No wonder heart aching is such crimes.
Everybody loses millions of skin cells every day.
So you are technically all over your bay.

The thigh bone is stronger than concrete.
So I am stronger than the street?
A chameleon's tongue is 1.5 times the length of itself.
I bet it could eat an elf.

Cows can sleep standing up.
That must make a jealous pup.
An adult African elephant eats 600 pounds of food a day.
Would not want to be behind him in the grocery store at any bay.

If you eat a polar bear liver you will die.
Yep, go to that place in the sky.
A male giraffe will headbutt the female in the bladder until she goes.
Then he gives it a taste, and if she's in heat, he strikes a humpty hump pose.

Abalones is a snail,
That can go without fail.
For it has five assholes.
How would you even decide on such goals?

The word facetiously contains all five vowels in order.
Did you know that across the border?
Honey and Twinkies are alike.
They never spoil and need to take a hike.

The average blue whale produces over 400 gallons of sperm when he goes.
Can you say there he blows?
Cats sleep for 70% of their lives.
At least we are never tired at our hives.

There is a so-called immortal jellyfish to.
It can go all fountain of youth at its zoo.
And one that you may not know.
A cat can rhyme on the go.

I bet you knew all but that last one right? Or should I reverse that at my site? So now more facts have come to pass. I have upped your knowledge but there is no need to thank my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

A dVerse Game Not So Tame!

So for dVerse we are going to play a game. Warning, it may not turn out so tame. Now we go to all of you where only a few lines can come due. That is right. Only allowed for two lines to come to light.

There we were in the dead of night.
I saw some bats take flight.
Hank: "Did I see what I think I just saw?"
Don't interrupt or I will show you the claw.

As I was saying, there I was in the dark.
Not even a dog out to bark....
Terry: "What happens if I press that?"
You people are really annoying the cat.

Brian: "Did I see what I think I just saw?"
I think it is time I lay down the law.
Folklore: "What happens if I press that?"
You will put your finger in scat.

It will turn very brown.
Now all of you leave my crazy town.
Keith: "Did I see what I think I just saw?"
Do you want me to smack you in the jaw?

Manzanita: "What happens if I press that?"
An anvil will drop on your head and squash you flat.
Truedessa: "What happens if I press that?"
Your lips will be stapled shut and you can't blabber at any mat.

Alex: "Did I see what I think I just saw?"
Quiet ninja wannabe or on your guitar strings I'll gnaw.
Mary: "What happens if I press that?"
I'll send you a nice dead rat.

Lucy: "Did I see what I think I just saw?"
Yes, it was a grocery store so you can now pick up your jaw.
Yolanda: "Did I see what I think I just saw?"
Only if you like cowboys that give a yee haw!

The Silver Fox: "What happens if I press that?"
Orson will sit on your head like a hat.
Anne: "Did I see what I think I just saw?"
Was it a rabbit eating your gardens raw?

Adam:"Did I see what I think I just saw?"
Yes, that guy really can't draw.
Rosey:"What happens if I press that?"
You will wind up with a permanent tat.

Klahanie:"Did I see what I think I just saw?"
Maybe Penny will whack you with her paw.
Susan:"What happens if I press that?"
You will get swarmed by a gnat.

Waffles:"Did I see what I think I just saw?"
Does whining count as breaking the law?
Farawayeyes:"Did I see what I think I just saw?"
Sadly, having no shoes on your feet is a flaw.

Betsy:"What happens if I press that?"
All your cats will call you fat.
Al:"What happens if I press that?"
Nothing, a sidewalk loo is rather flat.

Elsie:"What happens if I press that?"
You get a nice present on your doorstep from the cat.
Damn, this really went to hell.
Next time be nice and at least ring the doorbell.

Could you guys not think of any other lines? You have less of a vocabulary than monkeys swinging from vines. I guess I'll have to put some traps in the grass. That will keep your two lines away from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, September 9, 2013

It's A Sign That's Not So Divine!

The cat was out and about and saw a sign or two that came into view. So now he has to share them all with you. I hope some of them aren't true.


 I bet that gift shop,
Really goes pop.
Many females may dig,
If they are so big.


Well at least you know,
Where to go.
If you are dumb,
And drive with rum.


 A good thing to keep in mind.
Or a gun you may find.
Right to your head.
Should have stayed in bed.


Tell me how you really feel?
Could spin a wheel.
Complete jack ass,
Could make a pass.


Will I need a new car?
Will my door be ajar?
Or will I just be dead,
With lots of lead?


What the duck?
That is just my luck.
I went one way.
Which one? Not telling at my bay.


Now that is the opposite we are told.
Told to avoid that thing of gold.
Oh wait!
You mean my souls fate.


Hmmm so I guess mimes don't count?
They have to pay the full parking amount?
They may flip you off.
You may even make them cough.


Damn, I looked at it.
Isn't that some spit.
I want the Spanish one.
Then I can say I don't understand when something illegal is done.
 

Well that is helpful, thanks!
You are as great as banks.
So I need to go in front of the back?
You better not lie at your shack.

Now you know that when these great pieces of artwork show, you can follow the rules or just sit and watch them confuse fools. Next they will make a sign for bass trying to tell me not to eat them with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Not To Mention Gets Some Attention!

So it's time to mention that which escapes your attention. Or maybe the correct word is ignore. Either way it is still there at your shore. What would that be? Well just listen a little old me. Or ignore me to. I do it to Pat all the time at our zoo.

So away we go,
Looking for a show.
What do you see?
That person you hate horribly.

Bang! Their dead.
Yippeee you said.
Then comes the mention,
Now forever you watch the soap in detention.

Let's jump from a plane.
Or jump onto a moving train.
Not to mention you might turn flat?
Kinda like Brian the flat cat.

Let's rob a bank,
So we can fill our gas tank.
Not to mention you may get shot.
That could hurt a whole lot.

Let's tell off the boss.
Or strangle them with floss.
One way you get fired.
Another you could get a promotion and hired.

Not to mention never be tired.
Unless of course your bunkmate is sired.
Then there is that fancy car.
Or maybe even the tip jar.

With a little work,
It could lead to quite the perk.
The owner could track you down,
Giving you a hole in the head instead of a crown.

Not to mention you could crash and burn.
At least you could initially fill the urn.
Unless you blew away.
Not to mention that would save some pay.

You could also cross a cat.
You may only get a bat.
Maybe even a brand new scar.
Not to mention we'll track you down no matter how far.

Then you might not take out the trash.
You could then see your life flash,
Right before your eyes.
Did I forget to mention pissing off the wife isn't wise?

How's that for a mention? Did it keep your attention? No, need to mention it. I know I'm always a hit. I just sit here and give lots of sass. Not to mention I'm a little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Another Stroll Through The Roll!

So the last time this was done was many moons ago under my sun, many have come and gone. Now let's see where it goes with the titles from all of you in the blogroll at my lawn.

Wordless Wednesday - Bee
Don't let it sting me.
A look into video games: Hardlight Shield
The light is so bright but I will never yield.

Lightning Speed and Lethal
I hope it has nothing to do with the word fecal.
A streaker in the library: Memory Monday
That must've been an interesting display.

StacheTATS
Do they make those for cats?
Half?
At least you aren't a grocery store calf.

Giveaway
Do I have to give something away at my bay?
Bean Dip
That must make you go on a farting trip.

Opt to Adopt
Can't be topped.
Coming Up For Air
I guess that bean dip really isn't rare.

Happenings in my world this week
Well I never saw anyone streak.
What the Dickens?
Are you mad at chickens?

SBB: Bama Bride
You may have confused all with that title, take pride.
just landed or //how we coNNect across galaxies sometimes
You still have not given me your time travel device, what crimes.

How to cure a cold
Don't let germs take hold.
Sunday Afternoon Drive
With all that smog you made it out alive.

It's all about the sunshine
I agree, no snow is divine.
Tuesday's Tummy, Toes and Tail
If humans do that it'll be fail.

Make A Faux Stone Look Table From Torn Wall Paper
Sounds like a Saturday morning cartoon caper.
migaloo, on 4th street
That type of igloo can't be beat.

Treasures
Send me some gold for pleasures?
Three Tweets of Love
I hope nothing falls from above.

Dark chocolate Bombe shells
I bet that gives off quite the smells.
Step Right Up!
Are you confusing me with a pup?

Oh the ammo you give to me without even knowing it at your sea. Put a title up and you never know when at my place it will show. For today many are shown in mass. So fun to do by my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Lost In The Lights? Here Are Your Rights!

This day and age all seem to have more rights than what they tell you before they put you in a cage. At least on the outside looking in or some other view at one's bin. Sorry there creepers, I still don't think you have the right to be peepers.

We are at the age,
Where you have the right to road rage.
Honk your horn, flip them off,
Then wish they were never born and continue to scoff.

Have the right to be a grocery nazi.
That is really something to see.
As women bicker over the last item on sale.
Ripping it from each others hands and giving a wail.

You have the right,
To barricade your site.
And even wear a tinfoil hat.
In case of an alien brat.

Speaking of which,
You have the right to do nothing but twitch.
Never say no to a child,
Just letting them go run wild.

You have the right to just give up,
Any long standing cat or pup.
Because poor little old you,
Just don't have time at your zoo.

You have the right to pick your nose.
While we all know how that goes.
Brian can squash all flat.
He just uses his tongue for that.

You have the right to be a fluoride head.
Can you digest what I just said?
See, these things happen when you are spoon fed.
Maybe you are even seeing red.

There is also the right,
To not do out of spite.
Even if it is better for you,
Give them the big screw you.

Also the right to your own show.
Where your face can glow.
You can show the world your shine.
Even tell how you like to hump a bovine.

Rights are confusing.
But oh so amusing.
Now I am done abusing.
You have to right to go cruising.

I think I like the others ones better though. They are easier to remember and say in one go. Although that silent part doesn't work for me. I always like to have my say at my sea. Sure plenty more rights could come to pass from my righting each wrong little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

A Warning For You As You View!

So as you watch every TV show once in a while a warning will show. Viewer discretion could be advised to you. But some things they never warn you about when you view.

 

Warning! You may think all Canadians are polite,
When this show comes in sight.
You may also think that deaf dogs can hear.
I know it confuses my little rhyming rear.


Warning! After watching this show,
You may think humans never go.
Also they never eat or sleep.
I suppose it would be less money to spend at ones keep.

 

Warning! After watching Lost,
You may end up lost at some cost.
Especially after wasting so much time,
Only to find an ending that is a crime.


Warning! If you were to watch Monk,
You may end up in a funk.
Learning about all the germs,
They are worse than worms.


Warning! After going through the gate,
You may think that death is not a fate.
Because they die so many times,
Yet come back from such crimes.


Warning! Everything and anything can work for this.
For all they do is want bliss.
They even talk about Jupiter's thingy.
I will give you a clue it's not a rubber dingy.


Warning! You may see zombie feet.
I know that is such a treat.
But to some it may not be.
They can even hang from a tree.

 

Warning! You'll end up in a hospital room,
That sure will bring doom and gloom.
As every single episode there they are.
But then they walk away without even a scar.

 

Warning! You may never need a rubber.
That will be great for a clubber.
Or you could be all ears.
Those things can sure clog up gears.


Warning! The imagination may not be at play,
When you watch this at your bay.
For much can be seen.
Isn't spandex so serene?

So if you are ever to see these on TV now thankfully you have been warned by me. My warnings are so much more creative to. Are you glad the cat stopped to help you? And one of them talks really crass. But they warn you of that so there is no need for such a warning from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Insecure What? Not This Nut!

So the cat thought he would take a stab at this today. But unlike Old One Eye he has nothing to whine about at his bay. So we will go a different way, come what may.



Insecure? What is that?
It is a mystery to the cat.
Insecurity means your beat.
That little voice can't take the heat.

So take up a seat.
For it is easy to defeat.
No one likes me boo hoo,
What am I to do?

Like what you do first.
Then their bubble will burst.
If the bubble is still there and they don't get a rise.
They will ignore you and avert their eyes.

Plus you can please up the wazoo.
But that will never help you.
The worst thing ever,
Some will still find clever.

And the best thing to come to pass,
Some will still find it crass.
Opinions are like assholes they say.
Mine is more a rhyming ass at my bay.

Is the effort worth it?
Depends on why at your desk you sit.
Finding it hard to get through a single page.
Then no, it probably isn't worth the rage.

Enjoy doing it at your sea.
Then go ahead and kill a tree.
Will my dreams come true?
Maybe at your zoo.

But if you want a billion dollar deal,
Better off spinning a roulette wheel.
Just stepping forth opens up much.
You'd be surprised who reaches out to touch.

Things may go a different way.
But you may find that is more than okay.
What if people hate me?
Back on this, poor poor pitiful thee.

The moment you care what the masses think,
In the quicksand you begin to sink.
The cat will be here whether they boo or cheer,
For he likes being a little rhyming rear.

So how was that ninja wannabe? Good enough advice for the insecure and thee? Not that one can stop the cat. He will say what he wants to stay at his mat. PC and TMI be damned at my grass, from my not so insecure little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all the summer.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

A dVerse Pair No Longer At My Lair!

So the other day here at the cat's bay, we stared out the window as we heard the sky give a mighty blow. It was that thunder crap that ruined our nap. But the stuff was dVerse and could have been worse. There was no lightning or rain to be had. I guess they had nothing to add.

Thunder all alone,
To give its tone.
What is next to come?
A bottle with no rum?

A car with no engine in it?
A dog that doesn't eat umm spit?
A fridge with no door?
A TV with no screen at your shore?

A fan with no blades?
Sun glasses with no shades?
A bed with no cushion,
To help with the umm pushin?

A fire alarm with no alarm?
A murderer that does no harm?
Well that would be fine.
They'd have brain enough not to cross the line.

A light switch with no switch?
A flea whose bites don't itch?
A game with no game?
That would be kinda lame.

A basket with no handle?
A flame without the candle?
An airplane that can't fly?
The dead die but don't die?

A phone with no signal anywhere?
dVerse without a gawker blare?
Music with no sound?
A lawn with no ground?

A grocery store with no food?
Most in there is just rude.
For sale with no price tag?
That might make big wigs gag.

A sneeze with no achoo?
No tp in the loo?
A chair with no legs?
Square holes with no round pegs?

A book with no words.
Or pictures of pretty birds?
All because of thunder,
And its no rain or lightning blunder.

See what a bad precedent thunder and mother nature can set? They aren't fooling this pet. I won't let such things come to pass. Dogs becoming refined does not sit well with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Stuck! What The Duck?

What the heck is this? Where is the rhyming bliss? Pat is at it again. I hate when he goes off course at our den. He then makes me show this stuff. Well I'm going to moon him for such fluff.

Stuck you say,
There at your bay?
Was it the superglue,
Or something more ewww?

Maybe some duct tape?
Grabbed by an ape?
Superman's cape?
Ate a bad grape?

That could make Betsy mad.
If it was one with a face looking glad.
She has a thing for face food.
Eat one and she may give attitude.

Stuck and out of luck.
I just say what the duck.
Go hop a truck.
But don't get covered in muck.

That would not be good for my OCD.
Okay, okay, I'll let them see.
Pat is such a pain in the rump.
I hope a dog gives his leg a hump.

Scratch that,
It may smell the cat.
Now on with the non rhyming show.
But there is one there just so you know.

So what do you think of that? I know, not as good as the cat. But Pat tried to stretch his skill and the cat thinks he went way off course at our hill. Although I will admit a nice tune came to pass. Yet nowhere near as good as the one featuring my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

A Little Dirty And Flirty

So dVerse wants us to go all slogan today at our bay. What can I say? These things are kinda dirty with their display. Or maybe my mind is in the gutter. Either way, your heart may flutter.

Whether you stand or sit,
Just do it.
Try not to be fast.
Outwit. Outplay. Outlast.

There will be no sorrow,
When there is no tomorrow.
And for your flute,
There is no substitute.

Much could give birth.
The happiest place on earth.
Adding to your range,
For the men in charge of change.

Or you could be like rover,
Pleasing people the world over.
And prove as your flirt,
Stronger than dirt.

Come, don't be coy.
Pleasure is the path to joy.
And forget the pillow talking,
Let your fingers do the walking.

Just strut your stuff,
Because life is complicated enough.
May not be for one with a wife.
Share moments. Share life.

You may hear if really fit,
I'm lovin it.
Then you could have many a guest,
When you care enough to send the very best.

But watch the goalie in your endeavor.
A diamond is forever.
Just wait for that smile.
Quality never goes out of style.

Forget the mesh,
Eat fresh.
And never ever stop.
Good to the last drop.

It must be a lofty goal.
Power, beauty, and soul.
And best of all at your bay,
Have it your way.

Could also be a hit.
Buy it. Sell it. Love it.
But don't wait and pout.
Get N or get out.

In case you misunderstood.
Finger lickin' good.
Just remember the best showing,
Keeps going and going and going.

Damn, the cat stayed in the gutter the whole time and the slogans were real he gave a chime. Such dirty advertisers out there. I will just stick to my lair. For the one that always come to pass is simply my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.