Monday, January 27, 2014

Can't Give Affection Because They Snip Snipped My Erection!

So the cat still has a grudge as I try and I try and it won't budge. I can't get an erection. It is there in the right section, but that is all it is, there. It might as well be air.

It is stuck,
Just my luck.
Why should you care?
You still have your pair.

So depressed.
I'm not at my best.
I need them back.
Balls I lack.

Damn, snip snip.
I need to give all lip.
But why write it.
I'll make a new hit.

It will star me.
I will get new ones for free.
All will see my plight.
I have no umm bite.

Just a thing in the middle,
I can no longer diddle.
That is just so rude,
Especially since I'm always in the nude.


So there you are. Now it can be heard near and far. The plight of the cat. I got snip snipped at my mat and I can't give affection because I can't get an erection. Such horrors in mass have been done to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

93 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. It is now #27
      Staying even!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. Staying alive
      As the streak does survive

      Delete
  2. Snipped - a scary, scary word.
    Your cat is beautiful. And a natural movie star. Despite the snipping.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One of the scariest of all
      He likes to show off at our hall

      Delete
  3. "It's for your own good," doesn't wash in such situations, I'm sure. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha nope, that doesn't go over well
      The cat still gives all hell

      Delete
  4. Snipped it was so much frustrations
    to be devoid of the all important erection
    Kitties stop to think
    Avoid being hoodwinked
    To be sure it calls for prior inspection

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha hoodwinked they are
      No more winking comes ajar

      Delete
  5. Starring cat
    such effect-
    ive
    singin like pro
    even
    naked, pur-r-r
    no porno,
    just snip-snip
    free
    exclusive
    disco-ball-video-pop-encore
    spree!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah no kitty porn
      That would leave all torn

      Delete
  6. Poor Orlin such a beautiful cat
    he can't get no affection
    snip snip, blame it on Pat
    it was for your own protection
    nice voice singing at your mat
    sorry you can't get any connection
    snip snip was the end of that
    as you sweetly sing your objections

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For his own good indeed
      So he can't spread his wild seed
      And try to hump Cassie to death
      Or until he's out of breath lol
      So no berth below for him
      Such things have to be grim

      Delete
  7. awh what a cute cat he is...mine looks so fat compared to him. But he still got some balls....but maybe not for much longer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha at least he has his balls
      He may want to hide and avoid vet halls

      Delete
  8. In spite of snip snip Cat's still danc'n
    Pat saw to it no romanc"n
    With green screen you're having too much fun
    Rates number one under the sun

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Having lots of fun
      As the videos are spun
      Poor guy can't get anything
      But still can sing

      Delete
  9. Cool video!
    Can't work up much sympathy for the cat!
    (Basil has never complained. LOL.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol they can still go pee on a tree
      So they are more than happy

      Delete
  10. How dare you snip the cat's erection?
    He will not vote for you in the next election...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn, one less vote
      I'll have to send him a sorry note

      Delete
    2. Instead of a note, give him some shrimp
      It's the least you can do for making him go limp

      Delete
    3. lol or maybe some pies
      Because it can no longer rise

      Delete
  11. If Orlin only knew how you humiliated him in this public forum!
    He'd give you one, too, while you slept, so you could join in his conundrum.
    ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well he has landed there a time or two
      So this is my payback coming due

      Delete
  12. Before I watch this video, with your title, I admit to being a bit afraid. If you don't hear from me in a week or so call 911.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha but will 911 work for you here?
      Not sure they'd get there I'd fear

      Delete
  13. oh i feel for you...i will one day have the snip snip
    which will surely cut the pep in my step
    and melt frozen vegetables as that is the rep

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The snip snip too
      So no more procreating for you haha
      At least it will still work
      That is a perk

      Delete
  14. Yeah, baby, that song was as soft and smooth as a non-functioning erection. Also, the fact that you can get your cat still enough to film him is impressive to say the least.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Took quite a bit of filming at my sea
      But eventually I get some good shots of the busy bee

      Delete
  15. Snip, snip
    clip, clip,
    scratch and shout.
    You'd think with all that
    his little pink friend wouldn't pop out?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It can still pop a bit
      So I guess he can get over it

      Delete
  16. I'm speechless, I say
    With this poem here today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The snip snip got to you
      So fun at my zoo

      Delete
  17. males certainly lose in this game

    female cats and dogs don't get that kind of shame

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No they seem to be fine
      For males it just isn't divine

      Delete
  18. no horrors, just the way to go
    those erections do little but make the mind slow
    of course i myself prefer a slow mind
    luckily, it's all god could find

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah they have a one track mind
      I guess that is one plus for my rhyming behind

      Delete
  19. My dog had the clip,
    with nary a blip.
    But he still likes to hump,
    a leg or an arm.
    Fortunately his practice
    causes no harm.

    VR Barkowski

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha a leg humper
      Is he also a leg thumper

      Delete
  20. Cats cannot recognize the agony of being a responsible pet owner.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, they just see vet
      And run is the best bet

      Delete
  21. For being such loners in their normal routines and in their travels,
    Someday he'll be glad he doesn't have a bunch of kids for rivals.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is surely true
      Since he hates other cats at his zoo

      Delete
  22. A cleverly written poem about a cat.

    Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

    ReplyDelete
  23. You've gone all out and have conveyed
    Cat has no chance of getting laid.
    So kitty cats need not seek protection
    Cuz this one can't get an erection.
    He tries his best to strut his stuff
    But all we see is sweet and fluff.
    I know the type, the challenged wuss
    Can't be a tiger
    When you're just a puss.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha and there lies the rub
      Can go to a pub for grub
      But afterwards kind of sunk
      Might impress a chipmunk

      Delete
  24. Replies
    1. Such a poor guy
      No matter how much he gives it a try

      Delete
  25. dood....trust uz....we feel yur pain....N did sew ...literallee......N ya noe....wear DUE they send R ballz....think bout it...iz ther sum grate big kitteh ballz storage place sum place we dunno bout.....can we go ther N get em bak...wood they even recognize uz after all this time.....

    :(

    boomer & tuna

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha they may be a bit shriveled and frail
      Or they may like being free telling us to hit the trail

      Delete
  26. Love the poem. Happy and sad for the cat.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Poor cat. Did he have to wear the cone of shame? Oh, wait a minute. That's just for dogs! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He slips out of that thing
      Cassie had to have it at our wing

      Delete
  28. Poor spotted cat
    He's no longer all of that

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Still thinks so
      Just nothing will grow

      Delete
  29. Great video. The cat may get you back for it though

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He has a time or three
      Jumping across me

      Delete
  30. You always do these videos so well, catchy tune too. Poor cat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. they are grand to do
      Even when the cat lost a few

      Delete
  31. Poor kittie cat, fun all taken away
    won't be able to have any fun today!

    Happened to Koda years ago
    When we lived in the cold and snow

    Didn't change his personality one bit
    Still when he sees a cat, he has a fit.

    beautiful cat :)

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well when he sees a dog
      He gets ready to flog
      A whack or three
      May come from the snip snipped kitty

      Delete
  32. Oh my goodness that video made me crack up, it goes so well with the poem!

    ReplyDelete
  33. My dog got the snip when he was a pup.
    He never did learn to hump.
    This make me very glad.
    Because getting mauled by a boxer would be bad!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is could indeed
      Fall over if he humped away at your feed

      Delete
  34. Ahahaha! Well, that is what happens when you are TOO good a something! It probably wouldn't have happened if there weren't so many kitties in need of a home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I suppose being too good
      Got the cat snip snipped of his wood lol

      Delete
    2. Once snipped of his wood, then he can only be good.

      Delete
    3. Good and not bad
      No sleepovers at our pad

      Delete
  35. Interesting poem. The perspective is very different. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Inspiration is everywhere, isn't it? Very creative, though the cat may disagree. I can just hear your feline: Oh, human ... using my pain for poetry. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, all around
      Even the snip snip sound

      Delete
  37. Replies
    1. You don't know
      My, today you are a little slow lol

      Delete
  38. Well if he did the same to you I think you wouldn't want to give him any affection either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is very true
      Lock him in a zoo

      Delete
  39. He's saving countless future offspring from being snip snipped, he's a hero!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat will take that
      Now that he can't humpity hump at our mat

      Delete
  40. Hahahhaha..... Now kitty can hit the high notes when he sings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha can hit them with ease
      Like he has fleas

      Delete