Monday, January 6, 2014

The Beer Guys Get Caught! It Must Have Hurt A Whole Lot!

Back we are at my bar, of course that is no shocker. But did you know the beer guys are being carried around like shoes from Foot Locker? No? Well you will after this show. Could it be rip off week once more? I guess we shall see at my shore.

Last the beer guys knew they were in the shower. No, not together, because Bryan refused to first give Brandon a flower. Then they awoke ready to make fun of some bloke. I guess they had too many beers because their situation was still not clear.
 
"What should we write about today? Damn it! My fingers aren't working."

"I told you not to pleasure our retarded goat any more. There is our next post, six simple ways to pleasure a goat. Miley Cyrus will love it. Damn it! I think I helped you. My arms won't move."

They schemed about their goat post and finally attempted to move and give each other a blog roast. It finally dawned on them they were all head. Three whole hours later, yep, that's what I said.

"Bryan, I have no ass. What did you do?"

"Hmm I knew I shouldn't have spoke to that green skinned woman. Why did I find her nine breasts attractive? She said she was just testing a new product."

"And you believed her? Well she did have nine breasts."

The pair yapped about size, structure and placement for a while, enough that it would make even the most devote porn addict change that dial. Finally they decided to make a plan to make themselves once again a whole man.


"Okay, she has nine breasts right? So she doesn't need all that skin. We can mold them into bodies of our own."

"It's alive, It's alive. I always wanted to say that."

"Then we kick that alien bitches ass with our little gingerbread man, alien breast made bodies and hop a ship for home."

"I'm game. But just so you know, she had two asses. So we leap on three?"

"Leap with what? Didn't you listen to what I was saying? We have to pucker up to each breast and then climb them one by one until we get to her throat. Then we bite through it."

"Do they make shots for alien std's?"

The pair went over their plan time and time again, waiting for the nine breasted alien to enter their display case den. Finally she came into the specimen room and they puckered up, making her alien ears bloom. She stripped and the beer guys were open lipped.

"Bryan, your nine breasted alien is a hermaphrodite. She has six peckers. And they look frisky. Damn you!"
"I was hoping those lumps in her pants were a tenth breast."

"I'd rather stay a head than get frisky with your nine breasted, six dicked alien crush."

"You can't deny, she gives a whole new meaning to sixty nine."

The pair pondered that as they remained in their jars, each realizing they would never again visit bars. The alien girl was ready for action though. Who got high and who got low? I don't want to know. End of this six dicked, nine breasted, alien hermaphrodite show!

Oh the life of a head in a jar. At least they can visit galaxies afar. Must be hard for them to drink beer. I hope they have an alien with some near. Otherwise that could cause dread. I hope this does not go to their head. So there was a heads up for you on the beer guy crew. It could be all in your head at my grass. Head on down to get ahead of the game and leave a comment for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

75 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Now it is #6
      Gets one transfixed

      Hank

      Delete
    2. R is on your case
      With the #1 race

      Delete
  2. An alien very much endowed
    Got all the onlookers floored
    Multi-packaged
    No not a catch
    Just yearning to be adored

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha it can yearn
      I'll run at every turn

      Delete
  3. Those beer guys have always been at the head of their class!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They gets the heads up
      A header right into a pup

      Delete
  4. Only Brandon and Bryan would meet a nine-breasted alien with six peckers while they were just heads!
    Wait, I'm stating the obvious there, aren't I?
    Funny stuff, guys!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The obvious is stated
      I wonder how they'd rate it

      Delete
  5. hahahaha...well it seems she has enough to go around
    too bad they are just heads that are round
    it would def be hard to climb just by your teeth
    but it seems another breast is just out of reach

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it might hurt a bit too
      There at her alien zoo
      As they try and get to her head
      An alien club med

      Delete
  6. At least this'll keep em from thinking with two heads
    For a bodiless head can't take a girl to bed
    Good to be back after a holiday break
    So I can enjoy the rhymes you make

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they are just all head
      With bodies quite dead

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. One may get a good end
      The other a scary trend

      Delete
  8. Are these specimens for sale? :-)
    Have a lovely Monday.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not sure what they'd charge
      I hear they may be at large

      Delete
  9. Like Octomom she could nurse a litter
    It makes the litter fitter
    But don't leave in a bitter flitter
    Or you'll be called a boobie quitter

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She could nurse a ton
      And have fun
      Getting quite the thrill
      I think I'm a tad ill

      Delete
  10. You already know what we think about this post, and again, a firm thank you for creating it (it's awesome), so I'm just going to answer my own question.

    Why did I find her nine breasts attractive?

    Because nine breasts are four and a half times better than two, and that's just basic math.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha was fun to do
      As the idea popped in at my zoo
      Basic math many may find hard to follow
      Their head even with a body is hollow

      Delete
  11. This is so hilarious and outrageous..ha..ha... Thanks for the smiles Pat ~

    Keep warm~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha went far out there indeed
      Was fun to do at my feed

      Delete
  12. Seeing such a multi-sexed beauty would take a lot of beer,
    Such a creature might cause less lust and more fear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lust may be around with tons of beer
      Maybe if they saw her from the rare

      Delete
  13. sometimes you wake up in a pajama

    and sometimes in an episode of futurama

    ReplyDelete
  14. I image La Perla would be pleased... a new item to create and market. :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. When you scroll roll
    You get the real
    talk show on
    ...
    so why climb to head
    if you can press the button
    with your hand
    ...
    I realize the beer psychology
    is counter- wise

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is counter everything
      At their wing
      So is the way
      As they stare at that display

      Delete
  16. Replies
    1. hahaha what?
      You wanted pictures of her at my hut

      Delete
  17. green-skinned woman, alien or witch?
    becuz if it's the later, i'd go for that switch
    i know, your blog roast here is not a full disclosure sphere
    but 'green-skinned woman' brings out my weird

    thanks so much for your support, man. you are an amazing blogger and author and i'm really grateful for our connection.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm you like green
      I like the paper kind at my scene
      But you can keep the witch
      That is a bit of a glitch lol

      Delete
  18. I think this post just went to the head of the line!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No need for a head start
      They only have one part

      Delete
  19. Wow, that alien brings a whole new idea to the thought of being 'probed' lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol a very scary probe
      Things may just strobe

      Delete
  20. Grass might be the key word
    Haven't you heard
    It might take grass
    To make your rhyming ass
    A bust in a jar
    You've gone too far
    I'm reminded of Strange Brew
    Two hosers for you.
    Soixante Neuf
    You hit the roof....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 69 to east to say
      Getting all prestigious at your bay lol
      And too far
      haha never at my bar

      Delete
  21. oh my...i'm glad i don't have nine breast...just think about the fuzz when you want to buy a new bra then...oy...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that would be expensive indeed
      As they grow like a weed

      Delete
  22. Replies
    1. Glad I can spread cheer
      In the new year

      Delete
  23. I have no words.
    I cannot write.
    Heads in green substance
    Give me fright.
    Even when it's the beer duo
    Thanks for keeping balls in blue
    Out of this show.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha no problem at all
      I'll just stick with green today at my hall

      Delete
  24. All I can say
    Is that on this day
    I am most grateful
    That you are definitely not hateful
    And posted no pictures for my eyes to peek
    Or else a bucket to puke in, I might have had to see.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha no alien pics for you?
      But she is quite the thing to do

      Delete
  25. I'll never think of aliens quite the same way again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha what the cat can do
      Here at his zoo

      Delete
  26. Wow, where do I begin
    heads in a jar with a grin
    aliens in some funky skin
    not sure where you've been
    making some heads spin
    beer guys may switch to gin
    oh, wait that might be a sin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha gin guys has a nice ring
      But beer they fling
      Head just went with it
      Crazy as can be at my pit

      Delete
  27. The Bs: Bryan, beer, bodies, and breasts. A head in a jar. This is a creative post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha creative and crazy
      At least I'm not lazy

      Delete
  28. Ho ho ho some one lost their head ho ho ho

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They they did
      Think you flipped your lid

      Delete
  29. Now that is an alien I wouldn't want to meet

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can't blame you
      But be an interesting view

      Delete
  30. That must take some skill for head to climb up them

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The beer guys are full of tricks
      As they get their umm licks

      Delete
  31. You men certainly can get in trouble with those breasts. Always thinking first with something other than your brains!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha but with it cut off
      It can no longer umm think cough cough

      Delete
  32. Ahahaha! Nine weren't enough! One never knows what is going to happen in your bay, Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha always something at play
      Here at my bay

      Delete
  33. Um...gotta watch out for those green ones.

    ReplyDelete
  34. OMG.
    Poor guys. I have several questions about how certain things would work but I think I'll just leave it. I'm blushing now. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha mind went to the gutter
      Hope you didn't stutter

      Delete