Friday, January 31, 2014

What To Use To Printer Abuse!

I always say smash a printer each year. But what to use never gets said by my little rhyming rear. I guess I should rectify that as I have been such a neglectful cat.

Enjoy your winter,
Smash a printer.
Get your exercise,
Hope no one dies.

Grab a bat,
Squash it flat.
Look at that swing,
You could be the next big thing.

Pick up an ax.
Don't pay tax.
Chop the thing to bits,
For being the pits.

A sledge hammer,
Will make things clamor.
With each swing,
You'll hear a ding.

A blow torch,
Could maybe scorch.
But it would need to be hot,
To melt it on the spot.

Could use your feet.
That may be sweet.
Getting all touchy feely at your zoo.
Unless it backfires and a leg breaks off of you.

Get your car,
No need to go far.
You'll save gas,
Making it a flat mass.

For those who are paranoid,
Strap it to an asteroid.
Then no data can be found,
Unless it lands on alien ground.

A chainsaw would be grand.
Chop it as you stand.
Watch your eyes though,
And things down below.

So there you are,
Helped out near and far.
Some simple ways,
To make sure every printer pays!

Smash away, all through the day. Take videos too at your zoo. We all want to see you smash with glee. I guarantee you will enjoy your winter and will not get a splinter.  You can also yell things that are crass as you smash it thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

87 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. It's without a break #31
      Good for the whole month!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. From start to end
      #1 around the Jan bend

      Delete
  2. A good swing and the next big thing
    Sadly Tiger lately is found wanting
    Printer smashing
    Not really helping
    The golf ball is somehow shy of going in

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha poor guy
      Too busy being spry
      Wasting energy all around
      Can't get the ball in the hole in the ground

      Delete
  3. An interesting piece that I enjoyed reading. My printer plays up a lot of the time - tempting! Ha.

    Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Give in to temptation
      It will be an elation

      Delete
  4. Chainsaw would be good. I saw explosives. What grown man doesn't like seeing things explode?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I'd watch it go boom
      Bring that printer lots of doom

      Delete
  5. Good and interesting to read, By the way Alex, women likes to see things explode also.
    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That they do?
      I guess exploding is the one that is true

      Delete
  6. The way our printer here at work acts up every day
    I want to use some C4, and blow it the hell away

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha just don't blow the building up too
      Then the fbi may come after you

      Delete
  7. Uh. I'd rather not follow your advice on this one.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2014/01/operation-smile-and-rentback-books.html

    ReplyDelete
  8. One could have a catapult day
    And send it like a load of hay
    What a grand sight that would be
    Headed toward all eternity

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Letting it fly
      Through the sky
      Hopefully a bird doesn't die
      Some bird nut may cry

      Delete
  9. ha. i am all for strapping it to an asteroid...lol...that would be a blast, maybe shove some TNT in its...dont ask me, i think we could drop it off a tall building and film it falling then exploding, 100 billion hits to see how we break this

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That would take some doing though
      TNT would be easier at ones show
      But then dropping it off a roof
      Would be grand as it went poof

      Delete
    2. that is too funny imagine all the hits
      watching it smash into tiny bits..haha

      Delete
    3. Be grand to see
      Should be done by thee

      Delete
  10. Smash a cat
    Use a bat
    Ooh I'm sorry that
    Instead...smash a bat
    Imagine that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Topsy turvy today
      At my bay
      Can you smash a bat with a bat
      That would be redundant at that

      Delete
  11. "Paper jam? There IS NO paper jam!" Yes, printers must pay, whatever the way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That stupid paper jam sign
      I'd like to take and on an alligator let it dine

      Delete
  12. my printer is being bad

    won't load paper which is sad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a hunk of junk
      Time to use it for a slam dunk

      Delete
  13. Used to have a printer
    that made me want to squash it in winter.
    My new one is better, what a bummer
    I guess I'll keep it through spring and summer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess you can't have fun
      Unless it acts up on you in the summer sun

      Delete
  14. Swing with a ding,
    but my printer-
    still something
    that works
    even can share it
    with Orks...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well if it works
      And Orks are perks
      Then keep it I suppose
      Make sure it doesn't eat any toes

      Delete
  15. I've been having printer problems since I got my new computer. But I'm not quite ready to smash it... yet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha video tape it when you do
      And use that as a new post at your zoo

      Delete
  16. I would be oh so sad if something happened to my printer. I'm just saying... :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha bah blow it up at your sea
      Then get one that is new and pretty

      Delete
  17. There are many a day
    At my work bay
    The printer begs to learn to fly
    From the window 30 floors high
    If I could lift it, I'd give it a go
    Hey, watch out below!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah have to steer clear
      Of pedestrians that are near

      Delete
  18. But I like my printer
    it is a dear friend
    why would I want to hurt it
    and cause its end?

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wait until it breaks
      Then give it the shakes

      Delete
  19. Boot your computer, and your printer, too.
    It'll lead to a fun day off for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is very true
      Unplug and have fun at ones zoo

      Delete
  20. Oh, oh ,oh! Our mom is a printer! Or at least an estimator at a printing compnay. She doesn't like those weapons at all!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha knew I would get a rise from her
      I estimate she would not get hit with anything but fur

      Delete
  21. Very funny! I enjoyed this stanza the best! I guess I've know too many paranoid people!
    For those who are paranoid,
    Strap it to an asteroid.
    Then no data can be found,
    Unless it lands on alien ground.
    Have a happy weekend, Pat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well unless the aliens pull data off of it
      You will never have to be paranoid at your pit

      Delete
  22. I like strapping it to an asteriod

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Would be grand
      To watch it fly to a new land

      Delete
  23. ho ho ho naughty list for you ho ho ho

    ReplyDelete
  24. We did have a wireless printer that kept shutting itself off. Dad really did smash it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha that is grand
      Smash away at your land

      Delete
  25. There's no way a printer should remain alive after all those ways of decimating them!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they should all die
      To that big trash heap in the sky

      Delete
  26. Enough violent plans to take quite a while,
    Pat, you always make me smile.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad I can brig a smile
      As I get rather printer smashing vile

      Delete
  27. But Cat, my printer ain't so bad
    The computer itself drives me mad
    I'd like to toss it in the slammer
    Or take to it a huge, huge hammer
    This POS has no glammer
    Right now it's not doing what it should.
    Damn her.
    My printer, though, it may be slow
    But usually works when I say "Go!"

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well smash a computer at your sea
      It makes more sense anyway for thee
      As they hold data and such
      So you can't just touch
      have to take a big hammer
      Whether it leads to glamour or glammer

      Delete
  28. PS Glamour, not glammer. But it doesn't mammer. Or matter.
    It's windows vista that I'd like to batter with a hammer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A bit of a slang today
      Your printer must be really getting to you at your bay

      Delete
  29. Ha, I guess we all probably have something we want to smash. Right now I want to smash my thermostat, which says it needs batteries change and I can't figure out how to do it. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that is the worst indeed
      When you can't figure out how to make it work at your feed

      Delete
  30. My printer work sometimes well and other not!
    Fortunately I don't use so much!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well that is good
      Now you can smash it at your hood

      Delete
  31. Having a bad day with the printer are we?? LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't even have one
      Under my sun haha

      Delete
  32. orlin N cassie....if we can use theeze techniques on de phone, ALL phones....think oh de peace & quietz !!!! ahhhhhhh.....life iz good again...hope everee one haza fun filled flounder N friez kinda week oh end !!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah get rid of that ring
      We also hate that thing

      Delete
  33. Wow, Pat. You must really hate that thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hate the postage machine the most
      Here at my coast

      Delete
  34. Printers are the bane of my life
    Rack and ruin and enormous strife
    usually have to wait
    for the 16 year old to get home
    Till order is restored and happy is the life

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha poor you
      Stuck at your zoo
      Until school is out
      Printers sure make you shout

      Delete
  35. I just want winter to go away
    sick and tired of it at my bay
    bored of the snow on the ground
    no flowers can be found
    it's time for spring to arrive
    when things bloom and thrive!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is very true
      Time to have spring in view
      Flowers and green
      Winter needs to be wiped clean

      Delete
  36. I am happy with my printer
    but, not so happy with winter
    play a game spin the spinner
    you may be a lucky winner
    or perhaps, a sinner..haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh a winner and a sinner
      I'll take that over any dinner
      Spin away at my sea
      And let things hang free

      Delete
  37. I've had a few I'd like to smash to bits

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Go ahead
      And give those printers some dread

      Delete
  38. I guess that is one way to work out your aggressions. I would probably smash something besides my printer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd smash the postage machine
      If I could get away with it at the work scene

      Delete
  39. I rather enjoy the tag line. I hate my printer and would surely love to dispose of it any horrific manner.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha be sure to tape it
      And put it on youtube so its a hit

      Delete
  40. Ha! You know we have at least five printers in this house and not one of them are hooked up? I don't even know where the cords are...don't even know if they work anymore. Smashing them sounds awesome!
    All I have is a Louisville Slugger (fitting for where I live, right?)...I will definitely video the act!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha there you go
      Let your printer hate show
      Take that bat
      And squash them flat

      Delete