Saturday, February 8, 2014

Board The Bus Of Blow Jobs R Us!

Okay, this may get a little strange today at my bay. But the following is a true story told in all its not so glory. You have been warned at my sea. So now is your chance to flee.

So the other night,
Pat got a letter at our old site.
He was told he could come get it,
Instead of that return to sender bit.

So he went to the old place,
To see why it going there was still the case.
It was just some credit on a bill.
One that already happened at my hill.

Nothing new there.
Still hate our old lair.
But one of the old guys is still there,
Wife in the hospital and unaware.

Was lonely and wanted to chat,
Said okay as he was always nice to Pat.
Plus I could do Betsy's act of kindness thing.
Betsy, I am going to put a curse on your wing.

For up we went and sat down,
That is when Pat entered crazy town.
After the usual chit chat crap,
Pat was propositioned by the old chap.

"Every been with a man?"
I guess of a man he was also a fan.
Nothing wrong with that mind you,
If that is your thing at your zoo.

Of course Pat said no.
Then he went on at his show.
"I saw you naked through your window,
You have a great body you know."

Yeah, he really went there.
I guess my broken body is a nice affair.
Before this I figured people see me naked, what do I care?
Everything is the same one way or another down there.

But then came the kicker,
I guess he likes to be a licker.
Offered me $40 to give me a blow job.
Maybe he got tired of corn on the cob?

And did I mention is age,
As his hormones rage?
Over 70 or so,
Easily at his show.

And that is why I avoid people at my show. No more acts of kindness or walking naked near the window. So what do you think? Should Pat set up by the sink and charge $40 for people to give him blow jobs each day? Could get some thrills and some pay. Mind you it was not done in a, that, creepy a way. He just hoped Pat would be up for experimenting with such a display. Yes, it is all a true pass. Damn, the crazies, offline and online, keep finding my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

80 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Without a break #39
      Running along fine!

      Hank

      Delete
  2. This really way too off the line
    Being propositioned by a kind
    Tell him off
    Give the scoff
    Got to telling him one is all fine!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha let him know where to stick it
      With his horny fit

      Delete
  3. That is something I do declare
    Propositions seem to be in the air
    Perhaps the moon was round and bright
    Beware full moons they give a fright
    Moon madness rages with old men
    Better to lock them in a pen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, i agree
      Lock them up and throw away the key
      Keep them away from me
      Last time I go near that sea

      Delete
  4. errr....can you say stalker....creepy gawker
    that is pretty straight forward and bold
    for the old man, you could get shot in the
    wrong land

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah a stalking creepy gawker
      Send him where he'll get shot for being such a talker

      Delete
  5. Pat you have my laughing my ass off with this story
    This should be on that show by Maury
    A lesson or two could be learned from this
    To use in the future when something is amiss
    Never walk by your window naked and bare
    After all, what about all that drafty Canadian air

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well you get paid to be on that show
      So away the cat could go
      Yeah, never trust old men either at your sea
      They may have a thing for thee

      Delete
  6. ugh..that is creepy indeed... all kind of strange people out there...you better close your blinds...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah better yank them shut
      Way more creepy than a leg humping mutt

      Delete
  7. My neighbor fired up his snowblower
    While I was taking a nappy.
    MY snow could wait 'till tommorra.
    Today? HIS snowman is happy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy and ready to play?
      Maybe the creepy old guy can have the snowman at your bay

      Delete
  8. ROFLMAO,
    Oh Pat I must say you handled that well,
    In his dreams I bet he takes you with copious amounts of gel.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I just threw up in my mouth at that thought
      haha oh that is a scary plot

      Delete
  9. It's said that you are less inhibited the older that you get. which is especially true for amorous old men I bet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that has sure been proven true at my feed
      Yuck is all I can say indeed

      Delete
  10. I'm laughing to hard to rhyme on this post
    but now you get to boast
    about what a stud you are
    and can make a quick dollar

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha figures old one eye would be around today
      Yeah if I'm every hard up for pay
      Could go across the way
      Get a thrill and some money at my bay
      Hmmm I'd rather take the cardboard box
      Maybe I should get more locks hahaha

      Delete
  11. hahaha! I can see all this !! OMY !!! xxxx
    hehehehe!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha figures you'd enjoy that
      Your dirt hole got deeper from the cat hahaha

      Delete
    2. you snd the cat are crazy!!!lol
      (R talk

      Delete
    3. R said a ton today
      I guess creepy makes him speak at my bay

      Delete
  12. And you said it was true? well I never.

    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah every word true
      Makes me go ewww

      Delete
  13. I suppose you thought that was fun
    to put Betsy and blowjob on the same label run.
    lol. But GEESH! What on earth?
    Aren't you glad you've moved from that jerk?
    Wonder how long he'd been gawking at you
    that is so weird and makes me say Ew!
    And thanks, for once, not using Mr. Linky for that.
    The old ladies at my zoo would have fainted flat.
    haha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I never even noticed that
      Until you pointed it out at my mat
      Yes, glad i moved the hell out of there
      Just think, 6 years there, and he thought that at his lair
      Yuck yuck and super yuck indeed
      Yeah wouldn't want to scare the old ladies at your feed haha

      Delete
  14. So you took off the spandex???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I guess so
      Never again near the window

      Delete
  15. Well, if nothing else, I'd be flattered.

    Another new header? Damn!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha I guess flattered one can be
      New headers, there are three!

      Delete
    2. Three? Now I have to sit here and hit F5 until I see them all! :)

      Delete
    3. haha there will be a few more too
      In the coming days at my zoo

      Delete
  16. Goodness, what a proposition ~ Good thing you moved out of there ~

    Me, am careful never to dress or undress near the window, who knows what
    creep is out there ~

    Happy Saturday ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is a good thing to keep in mind
      I never cared, but from now on will watch where i show my behind haha

      Delete
  17. Me flee, no way! It's been a while since I've been at your bay!

    Madison:-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha good it didn't make you flee
      The creepy at my sea

      Delete
  18. I am quite amazed at this story
    of the man who saw all your glory
    Definitely shut your blind
    something you def do not need
    very creepy true story indeed!!
    to keep away eyes of that kind

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah have to keep away
      Eyes like that at my bay
      Run far away
      Is what I say

      Delete
  19. Replies
    1. Sounds like a plan
      One which I'm a fan

      Delete
  20. Great new header so wish we were there
    running away from the crazy at your lair..
    as the two light hearted fools narrator guy would say
    moral of the story close you curtains at your bay

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it would sure be nice
      Too bad on the price
      Be better than the crazy nuts here
      Narrator guy causes much less fear

      Delete
  21. You may want to think about moving yet again, far away

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah thinking long and hard
      About moving far far away from this yard

      Delete
  22. You win.
    Or lose.
    Either way, I'm glad I can't top that story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha well top story I suppose is great
      But rather lose at any rate

      Delete
  23. Replies
    1. Yeah either or
      Depends on how one looks at it at their shore

      Delete
  24. LMAO Oh dear, the crazier have no fear of asking for things like that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah crazy and old
      They tend to be way more bold

      Delete
  25. Whoa, dude that is kind of funny. Never knew you had it in ya to be a Playboy Bunny. Guess you'll now fear older men. Not going to go visit one again. And you will get some fun hits at your zoo from searchers looking for a blow job, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha never knew I had it either at my sea
      I guess the older generation gets caused glee
      The search engine nuts will have fun
      As they search out my sun

      Delete
  26. I'm stunned, and gobsmacked - what a gall! .
    I wouldn't have liked that at all
    But punched him squarely in the face
    The height of rudeness and disgrace
    How dare he ask - the dirty sucker
    Old age pensioned motherf****r !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahaha that was good
      Old aged pension should be taken away in his hood
      Leave him in need
      Or snip snip so he can't do the deed

      Delete
  27. I was shocked and appalled, UNTIL I started reading your comments, then it got hysterical, LOLOL! Since all the crazy things happen to you, there's only one conclusion to be drawn...you're secretly, um, (whispering) freaky. :)

    I guess I am, too, because I leave my shades open as well. If I ever get my own indecent proposal, I'll close them...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahaha well if a 100 year old guy or girl
      Wants to strip you down and give you a whirl
      May be time to pull the shades as well
      haha is did end up kinda funny as hell

      Delete
  28. Oh my gosh, I can so relate (well sort of, buwahahhaa). EVERY SINGLE OLD MAN I am nice too turns out to be a big perv. What the heck are those guys taking, mega vitamins or something????? Never mind, it's probably that silly little blue pill.

    Sorry you got hit on by an old dude, but really, buwahahahahahahahaa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha nice to see I'm not the only one
      But it is a bit more disturbing under my sun lol
      I think he was on the blue pill too
      Or maybe he was just using super glue

      Delete
  29. I guess if one had to make rent
    they might do that for that pay
    but really I am just as shocked as you
    and really don't know what else to say!

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah it was a shock
      Then do that I'd rather live under a rock

      Delete
  30. Awww, Poor Pat.
    Didn't want to be fondled like that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha not by a 70 year old man
      Of that not a fan

      Delete
    2. Best rhyme evah! :) hahahahahaha (still laughing today).

      Delete
    3. haha the cat can entertain
      At least at his lane

      Delete
  31. I'm with Grace up above me, your comments are hysterical... I tried not to laugh, but I am... aren't afraid to go there, are you, mate? ;)

    Again, I bow to your talent. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha it is funny indeed
      Not afraid to go anywhere at my rhyming feed

      Delete
  32. "Maybe he got tired of corn on the cob?"/Maybe he was a lumberjack in need of a "log"? :-)

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A hollow log?
      in a deep deep dark bog

      Delete
  33. Forty bucks.... that's all, Mr Hatt?
    There must be a crisis going on
    Or something like that
    Should've been at least a million
    Better make that a zillion
    Close your eyes and pay all those bills
    Or am I giving you the chills? :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha for a million bucks
      I may count ducks
      And let it go on
      Hmmm maybe not at my lawn

      Delete
  34. I hope all basses went on strike...lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On strike
      And went for a good long hike

      Delete
  35. Well WoW! What?? Holy crap... I bet you couldn't get out of there fast enough. What a pervert.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha my thoughts indeed at my feed
      Left at top speed

      Delete