Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Getting Rhetorical Today At My Bay!

Don't you love it when they ask questions to you and then don't want you to answer on cue? That is less work for you. But then along come a few that have no idea at all as they give the rhetorical questions a call. They actually want you to answer each one. They must have gave the dunce cap a run.

Does a bear crap in the woods?
Depends if it walks into hoods.
Are you kidding me?
Nope, they'll crap on your knee.

Is the sky blue?
Nope, grey today at my zoo.
Is the sun hot?
Go touch a stove pot.

Did you really just say that?
Yes, I am a mean cat.
Does the cat rhyme?
All the friggin time.

Does the government screw you over?
Faster than a leg humping rover.
Have you no shame?
Nope, Pat's to blame.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Go find one and watch you should.
Do bunnies hump?
Just watch for the bump.

Does a tattletale tattle?
Even to cattle.
How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?
None if the man is Peter Pan.

Do you expect me to go along with that?
Who cares, I'm a cat.
Isn't that nice?
Yep, you and your lice.

Can pigs fly?
Sure, put them on an airplane and send it into the sky.
How many times have I said that?
53, but I'm not counting at my mat.

Are you serious?
Yep, you are delirious.
Why did you get out of bed?
Same thought was going through my head.

Does a phone ring?
Not if it is on vibrate, ding a ling.
Is Santa fat?
Big enough to squash you flat.

Rhetorical many can be but some fail to see, they want an answer I guess. So I confess. Don't ask a question you don't want the answer to and such responses won't come due. Otherwise such things will come to pass from my always little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

74 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Now it is # 2
      Little too few!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. Only about 50 away
      From where you were back in the day

      Delete
  2. With all the rhetorical questions
    All are asked just to get attention
    Demand no answers
    Meant nothing serious
    But may enhance further suspicions

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they just want attention
      Don't even give them a mention

      Delete
  3. Note that rhetorical questions are all sarcastic as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, they surely are
      Which works for my sand bar

      Delete
  4. Bear crap on the knee. Yuck! But funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Would surely suck
      Have to jump or duck

      Delete
  5. LOL love your humor dripping with sarcasm. Brilliant!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha can use both with ease
      Seems to be a breeze

      Delete
  6. I have said a few of these myself. One I heard growing up... Do Bird Dogs Fly?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well they may jump high
      Never know if they could fly

      Delete
  7. ha. the govt def screws one over,
    rover better move over though cause the bears
    out the hood and into the woods where its lonely
    or maybe quiet, as a riot, maybe i should make
    heavy metal music, its sick the questions
    people drop about the craziest sh---it's like they
    speak in metaphor at times, some even do it
    in rhymes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Screwed over at every end
      Seems to be a govt trend
      Have to play some heavy metal stuff
      To make sure no bears come and drop umm fluff

      Delete
  8. Rhetorical questions all day long
    You don't have to answer you can just sing a song
    "Are you crazy?" Must I confess?
    Or find a way to take leave of a mess
    "Is the Pope Catholic?" How would I know?
    Could be an imposter just lying low
    "Have you taken leave of your senses?"
    Could just be trying to mend many fences

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha answer them with a question
      That is a fun suggestion
      Then watch as they go away
      More confused than when they started at their bay

      Delete
  9. Rhetorical questions can sometimes be taken serious
    Though the answers can make some people delirious

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah can make one go crazy
      At least the mind won't get lazy

      Delete
  10. You could have created the Geico 'when pigs fly' commercial. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahaha
      He could have, good one Rosey
      I present you with a pig posey

      Delete
    2. haha and then I'd get paid
      That would be a good trade

      Delete
  11. if the bear doesn't do it in the woods

    it better not be the river

    that could cause a shiver

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah go for a swim
      And step in something grim

      Delete
  12. Love the answer about pigs fly
    truly brilliant I do say
    your answers to life's questions
    truly take my breath away!

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that is more than i thought
      Glad you enjoyed my rhetorical plot

      Delete
  13. Dear Pat, the tv interviewers don't exactly ask rhetorical questions but they do ask questions that seem so insensitive and rather stupid to me. Like asking how a mother feels after her child is kidnapped. Or pushing the skier until he cries over his sister's death. Those asinine questions really annoy me. Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they are as stupid as can be
      Obvious and just looking for ratings at their sea

      Delete
  14. Aggh Lice! We've spent a small mortgage at Nit Pixies getting rid of lice

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yuck to those nasty bugs,
      Never had to tangle with such thugs

      Delete
  15. There was a girl in my high school that would always have a snappy comeback for rhetorical questions. We always thought she was crazy, but now I admire her quick thinking. She was definitely ahead of all of us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha crazy can seem crazy at first
      But then it can sure a bubble burst

      Delete
  16. God points you make today...
    And from now on I'll always know what to say:
    "Have you no shame?
    Nope, Pat's to blame."

    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha blame me all you like
      Consider that a strike

      Delete
  17. Love the government answer! And I do agree. And it's good to know the cat knows he's only written that way :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yep, they are rude
      Worse than a rover with attitude

      Delete
  18. I've been growing more and more annoyed
    With the phrase so oft deployed...
    Limited vocab spurts, "Seriously?"
    Now an answer I can spout deliriously!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There you are
      Helping you out at my bar

      Delete
  19. Ah, the sarcastic cat,
    Fantastic that!
    Wonder if it would be indecorous
    To point out he's preaching to the chorus?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True, many seem to get it
      At least as on blogger they sit

      Delete
  20. orlin N cassie

    a wood chuck wood chuck just what he could chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood

    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can he chuck it at a car
      Or very very far

      Delete
  21. Replies
    1. That's it
      With your eyeball staring at my pit

      Delete
  22. Replies
    1. Yep, easy as can be
      Right over the sea

      Delete
  23. Belated happy birthday to your kitkat, Pat! I really enjoyed your kitty photos! But the hoarding pictures gave me the creeps! They make me want to run and tidy a drawer! What have I been doing at my zoo? Rhetorical on your part, I'm sure! I've been way too buried in dealing with my To Do list. At least I can count on your posts to brighten my day with some good laughs! Have a good one, under your sun!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad they were all grand
      As you get caught up in my land
      Good luck with the to do list
      Hopefully nothing is missed

      Delete
  24. I hear, "Are you serious?" all the time. My family loves to say that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha maybe they think
      You have gone off the brink

      Delete
  25. Interesting questions at your zoo..
    so let me ask one more or two

    How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
    How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

    How many roads must a man walk down/
    before you call him a man? (Bob Dylan)
    How many deaths will it take till we know
    too many people have died? (Bob Dylan)

    The new banner is great smiling with glee
    as many friends below we do see..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Geez, trying to make me think
      I can draw a link
      Hold a moon beam with ease
      Just stack a billion fleas
      Then climb to the top
      Grab a moonbeam then drop
      If the man has to walk down a road
      I'd call him a toad
      And with greed
      Death they need
      Many are there
      To give a stare

      Delete
  26. Are you serious today? Same as any other day?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That the cat is
      Here with his rhyming biz

      Delete
  27. Most want attention. Yes, I really just said that

    ReplyDelete
  28. Are you trying to make me laugh every day?
    You don't have to answer either way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, it works grand
      To laugh away with or at my land haha

      Delete
  29. I've never really understood the pigs fly thing. Why pigs? Why not horses or dogs or porcupines?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah not sure why pigs
      I guess because they can't dance jigs

      Delete
  30. I am laughing when R post and you say the same thing...ha..ha..

    Sky is blue today but it was really really cold, yikes ~

    Great looking carnival banner, I dig the color too ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha R gets the same response each day
      Yeah the carnival one was fun to have done at my bay

      Delete
  31. Pat's to blame?! We always suspected as much!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, all the humans fault
      At every single vault

      Delete
  32. Then there is "I know, right?"
    This question isn't very bright.
    If I said it, I wouldn't say "wrong."
    Unless I'm smoking a humungous bong.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well you never know
      A dope head could give that flow

      Delete
  33. "Who cares, I'm a cat?"
    Classic. I love it.

    ReplyDelete
  34. I've seen bears crap before. It is horrifying how that much poop could build up in any set of intestines.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha can't say I ever saw that
      Blah to all that scat

      Delete