Saturday, February 15, 2014

It's Not Too Late! You Can Get A Commercialized Date!

So you spent the commercialized day alone? No one dialed your phone? I guess the guy in the diaper neglected you. Never fear, I'll help you out at my zoo. Here are some picks to perk up some ummm errr wicks.

I'll change your diaper baby
No way, not even a maybe.
Click here to enlarge your gift.
You're already so large, you clearly aren't swift.

Con u luv me today?
I don't think so at my bay.
I want roses damn it!
Hmm direct, just a bit.

Move over, momma is ready for you.
You belong in a zoo.
Lets help cupids arruw along.
Sorry, you spelled it wrong.

From me to you
Nothing! Indian giver at your zoo.
My sis said you'd love me
She lied, sorry!

I share my roys
No way hosa, not into boys.
I'm ready for doody.
Smells like roses or fruity?

I'll be your fair fary.
Only one I or things get hairy?
Scroll down for more details.
If I scroll down will I find umm tails?

Werk on your skills cry babies.
Do you have a form of rabies?
Life could be best with me.
My ears may bleed at my sea.

Top pick on my twitter feed.
I bet you help all in need.
Not a good time for me but oh well.
Yourself you really can sell.

Don't message me if you are old, hairy, shy, double dipper
What if it is still umm chipper?
Clothes make me feel naked.
Bet your brain suffered from bake it.

Swim in the waters with me.
Sorry, too cold at our sea.
Baby, its bold outside.
Shouldn't bold be cause for pride?

So there you go. I can forward them to your show. Just ask the cat and you could have a lover of doody there in no time flat. Some even share roys, I hear they are lifelike toys. You could have a lass of a whole other class all thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

69 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Its without a break #46
      A nice fit and fix!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. Still on a roll
      As you go for a #1 stroll

      Delete
  2. Great verse, no the phone didn't ring as usual.
    Enjoy your week-end.
    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good for you
      No phone to annoy at your zoo

      Delete
  3. No need to share, everyone's got enough trouble of their own. Though I do admit I'm singing, 'Baby, it's bold outside,' lolol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha better be careful who can hear
      May get a bold type of cheer

      Delete
  4. Typos made or just plain dumb
    Sounds like they got in the rum
    Squish a bug or eat a gnat
    Their line is falling, flat, flat, flat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rather eat a gnat
      Then get near their mat

      Delete
  5. its a good thing i dont have a click here button
    that could get un-comfortable
    as reading some of these
    mama is just disturbing...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah no click here
      That would leave all running in fear

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. Make each time
      With a little chime

      Delete
    2. but why he never change his chime?????

      Delete
    3. Maybe his copy and paste
      He doesn't want to waste

      Delete
  7. By a card for yourself be safer than going near one of those

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Much would be safer than that
      Here at my mat

      Delete
  8. Scrolling down for details might reveal more than a tail. And I think you've had enough of that sort of thing lately!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, no more of that ever
      Blah to such an endeavor

      Delete
  9. Better to spend the day alone
    than to spend it with someone who'd make one groan!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well groan in a bad way
      A good way is okay

      Delete
  10. Did you notice that cupid rhymes with stupid?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah I took notice of that
      True words at ones mat

      Delete
  11. hahaha "Click to enlarge your gift" I don't know I like cheesy lines I guess. My kid gave me a card which had only from and to and in to he had his brother's name when I asked why it doesn't have my name - he replied - "oh, no problem - write "K's mom".
    So, yeah Valentine's day was blah...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well to one another is okay
      Welcome back to the blogland bay

      Delete
  12. Top pick on your Twitter feed?
    Well Whoopdi Freaking Doo indeed

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is all they well get from me
      A whoopdi friggin doo at my sea

      Delete
  13. haha... i'm on a valentine's day boycott you know... and after reading this i think that was the right decision...smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, right way to be
      There at your boycotting sea

      Delete
  14. Texting is a phenomena is an art
    Not confined to those who are smart
    One can just shoot
    In any sort of moods
    Without regards in shorts and starts

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah say this or that
      At their mat
      Make no sense
      Giving their two cents

      Delete
  15. Am smiling here while munching on chocolates, smiles ~

    I would love to swim if its not too cold you know ~

    Am looking forward to our long long weekend ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmph to you
      We have no long weekend at our zoo
      I'll have to move up there
      Stupid NS lair

      Delete
  16. This isn't encouraging me to get a Twitter account, Pat!!!! Thank goodness I had my valentine close by to give me a consoling hug when Patrick Chan stumbled on the Olympic ice last night. :(
    Be happy today at your bay!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I forgot to say I'm enjoying all the creative headers you have, old and new!

      Delete
    2. Glad the headers are fun
      Might not want to give twitter a run
      Nuts abound there too
      More than a few

      Delete
  17. Wonder how all those Roys feel about being shared...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe they like the thrill
      Or get paid many a bill

      Delete
  18. Well, yesterday I tried here
    to spread Valentine cheer
    I gave the cat a hug & kiss
    and got back a scratch & hiss!!
    haha :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that is what you find
      When trying to slobber on the cat's behind

      Delete
    2. I should have hugged a tree,
      the cat is always mean to me
      haha :)

      Delete
    3. haha the tree wouldn't fight back
      Unless a woodpecker went on the attack

      Delete
  19. Today I truly can smash a printer
    because I got a new one that's truly a winner!
    ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha make a video and smash away
      Show it there at your bay

      Delete
  20. Like many said Cupid is stupid

    his choices are never lucid

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, usually dumb
      Must be the diaper rash on his bum

      Delete
  21. Twitter feed
    Indeed
    A diaper is a nappy
    Aint that crappy
    I can't even look at the phone
    All alone
    Just have to face the fax
    And stare at my cracks....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't step in a crack
      Might break a back
      That how that goes?
      Watch your toes

      Delete
  22. """Swim in the waters with me""" haha! I dont sehd this!
    I love swim alone!! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha no swimming with anyone else in the sea
      What if you get a cramp or bump your knee

      Delete
    2. AH Im not worry Im swim many years and love it!! lol

      Delete
    3. Swim away at your bay
      When out of the sand you get, oh the dismay

      Delete
  23. Top pick on Twitter? My gosh, that gets me all hot and bothered. One who can amass such a large following on Twitter has to be the man of my dreams!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well there could be many oh so sweet
      On those who can tweet

      Delete
  24. please don't forward to my door
    these gifts I don't want galore
    some are just downright strange
    and given by people deranged!

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah they are out to lunch
      I think they got lost at brunch

      Delete
  25. I like to scroll
    your page to read
    all comments feed
    thanks to your rhyming ass,
    but I will pass
    the dating class.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fun to go down
      And see what's said at my town
      Not a one for you?
      Whatever will you do

      Delete
  26. To swim the waters at your sea, you would need an ice auger, or maybe just pee on it to melt it. Isn't spring coming soon?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Could pee on the ice
      But might not smell nice

      Delete
  27. No thank you, you can keep all of them

    ReplyDelete
  28. Diaper Man....
    Sounds like something hit the fan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What if it was #1
      Then just down the leg it would run

      Delete
  29. Some even share roys...LOL! Like, big roys and little roys...acuffs and orbisons, LOLOL...
    One day you gotta share where you find these people...I would love to know where they keep coming from!

    ReplyDelete