Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Some dVerse Questions From Beyond At My Pond!

This nut is truly dVerse as he and his hologram future self can really make the cat curse. Yep, The Beyonder is back on his question attack. Here we go again as we try to get rid of him at our den.

Why is it called take out when it is brought in?
Has to be took out to be brought in, I win.
Why are all creations in the box called Jack?
Jack likes to wear disguises and go on the attack.

What happens if you lose a lost and found box?
I guess you won't ever get back your lost socks.
Why is it called lipstick if it always comes off?
I guess stuck on fish scales makes some scoff.

What is the opposite of opposite?
You are asking for a drop and hit.
Does a postman deliver his own mail?
I bet he does without fail.

If you stole a pen from the bank would it be a bank robbery in progress?
I hope the pen explodes and leaves you in one big mess.
What do you call a female daddy long legs?
A daddy long legs that begs?

Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?
Both give your doorbell a ring?
What do you say when you are told you're in denial but your not?
I guess you can't say a whole lot.

Do pigs pull ham strings?
Ask one with wings.
Why do you need a group for self help?
So they can slap you when you yelp.

Is a man full of wonder a wonderful man?
Maybe just one in need of a tan.
How can one hear themselves think?
I guess they have a brain link.

Why is it called a TV set when you only get one?
Maybe so you'll give two a run.
Why is it called a building when it is already built?
Because it is crappy and starts to wilt.

What is the difference between a novel and a book?
One sounds better and makes people look.
Why do they call someone late if they died early?
So no one in the family gets squirrely.

Is there ever a day that mattresses aren't on sale?
Not according to the flyers in the mail.
Why would Dodge make a car called Ram?
To crush you into toe jam.

With that he sighed and went away. I don't think he got any answers he wanted today. But plenty of questions he sure gave before he went back to his future cave. Any good answers you can give at my grass? Feel free to leave them for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

118 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Without a break #35
      So we jive!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. Getting quite the streak
      As 100 you seek

      Delete
    3. Still No.#1?
      Hank's still having fun

      Delete
    4. That he does each day
      Here at my bay

      Delete
    5. Maybe one day
      You could win at my bay

      Delete
  2. Why running in when it is running out
    Why not look in, not a 'look out! shout
    Talk opposites
    Of composites
    There are ways to say it with a snout

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha opposites attract it seems
      Or just screwed up by moon beams

      Delete
  3. Pig pull hamstrings - hilarious! One of your best ones.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that one just came to me
      As I went on my question spree

      Delete
  4. I think mattresses are always on sale

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That they seem to be
      At each and every sea

      Delete
  5. Is there a question that doesn't have an answer? Nice Post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, more than 2 words at my sea
      That is impressive of thee

      Delete
    2. Wow, look at that R is having a word attack at your shack..lol..

      Delete
    3. Holy moly! Miss a day
      And miss R play
      With words more than 2
      At your zoo!

      Delete
    4. All seem to be impressed
      I guess R came well dressed

      Delete
  6. The opposite of opposite is the same?
    That's the best I can come up with, you blew my mind with the rest...
    TV set? Caregiver/caretaker? ...
    These are important questions I never thought about before...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess that is quite the claim
      Now I have you ignited with the question flame

      Delete
  7. Um, "R" finally wrote something besides "Nice Post"
    I am flabbergasted, my brain is now toast

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe R is sick?
      Or questions did the speaking trick

      Delete
  8. All things make one stop and think
    Even R, wink, wink, wink
    Can someone be happy as a pig in mud
    How would he know, Old Farmer Fudd
    Maybe pig's mama has been taken to slaughter
    And she still cries out for her piggy wiggy daughter
    Would mud be a cure to make the piggy happy
    Or is it just a spot to take a little nappy
    And I'm sure football is not her favorite sport
    Maybe it's a facial but who really gives a snort?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the poor pig
      Won't be dancing a jig
      In the mud it wallows
      I hope mud it never swallows

      Delete
  9. dude that is like a metaphysical phenomenon, the lost and found might have folded in on itself infinitely, reducing itself itty bitty and getting ever smaller, i know i am wonderful, perhaps a bit boastful, and mattresses, ha, never

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha wow going all metaphysical indeed
      Can it fold in on itself at warp speed
      Or is it a slow transgression type deal
      Maybe a worm hole had it for a meal

      Delete
  10. Our house used to be on my hubby's mailman route, so indeed the postman did deliver to himself. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha one question answered at my sea
      Now just a few more with my question spree

      Delete
  11. So many things to ponder
    it makes my mind wander
    except when it comes to spiders
    those things make me shudder (sshh, it rhymes, kinda)

    How did you get R to say more than Nice Post
    did you threaten him with a roast?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. R must be sick or something
      I guess he/she/it likes my question ring
      Spiders and shudder rhyme
      Damn, must have got that from a mime

      Delete
  12. Interesting question about caregiver and caretaker! Never thought about it before, but oh so true! And how tragic it would be if one lost the lost and found box and could never again have a chance to find what one had lost....especially if it was one's memory. LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yeah losing ones mind
      Would sure be a hard thing to find

      Delete
  13. Those are such good questions! When an alarm goes off, doesn't it really come on?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that is very true too
      I run when it comes on at our zoo

      Delete
  14. Awesome post, Mr. Hatt!
    Big guffaws where I'm at!
    I'm still chuckling offer that lost and found box,
    maybe it's hiding among my lost value in stocks!
    Have a happy day
    at your bay!
    Behind the ear scratches to your kitties,
    if it gives them giddies!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. P.S. I'll take that house in a rock in yesterday's post,
      but that toilet bowl in a chair creeps me the most!

      Delete
    2. It was rather creepy
      Anyone with ocd may get weepy
      The lost and found box could be with socks
      Or maybe it was stolen and eaten by an ox

      Delete
  15. I should be jailed for life for all the pens I've "stolen"!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Geez, good grief
      You are such a pen thief

      Delete
  16. ha - sometimes you have to wonder where the words come from....we have some pretty strange word combos over here as well

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it sure does make one think
      Could bring some to the brink

      Delete
  17. This is priceless, Pat. Hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad the questions were grand
      Here in my land

      Delete
  18. Very funny. Rhyming can take you on a fun adventure. Thank you for sharing it with everyone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Many adventures can sure come due
      The cat has had a few

      Delete
  19. Hmmm, good question about the pens. Mine are chained so tight to the counter I don't think I'd ever even have a chance to walk out with one and find out!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well that is a good thing
      Wouldn't want to hear jail house rock ring

      Delete
  20. Why is it called a building when it is already built?
    It's like wearing a skirt that they call a kilt
    It's like invaluable that is valuable
    Or a Cat that's really a . . . ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A cat that is really a what?
      A furry mutt lol
      Kilt and skirt
      Same thing as they flirt

      Delete
    2. Or a Cat that's really... a Pat
      Haha well, I guess you didn't know
      Who's really running this show
      Does that make you wanna scratch your back
      Or surf to a Bora shack
      A furry mutt that can type
      I'm told it'll be a new hype
      Your new art looks real cool
      Makes a blue guy wanna drool ;)

      Delete
    3. P.S. A lot of new faces that I see on your beach
      Were you getting out of reach?

      Delete
    4. There is much new art
      Since you came to my cart
      And more to come
      From my rhyming bum
      Even has the blue guy in the ground
      With a head that can only be found
      They keep finding me
      And my rhyming spree

      Delete
  21. Wait...wait...what? If outdoors means a door that is out,then that means...no, I can't think right now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha got you all confused
      Leave me rather amused

      Delete
  22. Why is it called a "tooth"brush when we have more than one?
    Unless you're from West Virginia...?
    I guess they use a "teeth"brush for fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm maybe they were trying to up sell
      Making all think they needed a brush for each tooth to be swell

      Delete
  23. The stupidest car name is Avalanche
    Not a name I'd want on my ranch;
    Oh sure, a truck named for that which will make you kick the bucket...
    Methinks I could tell 'em where they should have stuck it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha stuck it in their ear
      Or would that be rear

      Delete
  24. How is it that mattresses are always on sale but still cost s much?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they still cost a ton
      Especially if you want a good one

      Delete
  25. Indeed a lot of questions here.. One thing for sure languages ain't logical.. And a lipstick that stuck would be scary... but maybe silence a few too talkative ladies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No they sure are not
      But hey, I'd be glad if those got stuck that yapped a whole lot

      Delete
  26. Then there's the expression "take a crap." I leave mine there. (If anyone already wrote that, I didn't see it.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that one is nasty to think about
      Have to go pick the crap out

      Delete
  27. Then there's Gallagher's question, "Why does a man wear a pair of pants but a woman wears only one bra?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess they want to surprise
      Two for the eyes

      Delete
  28. orlin N cassie...sew...ask yur dad what WUZ de best thing sinze sliced bread...N why traffic can bee atta stand still.... N itz called... rush hour !!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i guess knives were grand
      There in bread land
      And rush hour goes nowhere
      A bit confusing at ones lair

      Delete
  29. Your rhymes are so clever!! Sheer brilliance on this one. ♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like to be clever
      With my rhyming endeavor

      Delete
  30. I like how you think
    I'm on the brink
    Why is abbreviation such a long word
    How absurd!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah the damn thing is so long
      That is just wrong

      Delete
  31. Spill a "dry" wine on your pants, and they get wet...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On a roll you are
      Even they you aren't moving by feet or car

      Delete
  32. Loved the one about the postman delivering his own mail, he's too busy do that he forgets our road quite often.
    Excellent Pat.
    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha must be quite the busy chap
      As bills come and he misses your gap

      Delete
  33. What is the opposite of opposite? hmmm...let me think about that :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha don't think too much
      You might go out of touch

      Delete
  34. I enjoyed this, Pat! In France, lost and found is 'found objects'. Maybe we do not lose them first, they just get found.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm that is better I suppose
      No more lost woes

      Delete
  35. All these questions make my head spin
    "Do pigs pull ham strings" made me grin

    Why do they call it a pair of pants
    when you are only wearing one?

    Why do they call them scissors
    implying you have more than one?

    See what the rhyming cat has done
    too many questions I've come undone..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that one was fun
      Look at you go on a run
      I guess pants have two legs
      Or they were named by people who took round holes and shoved in square pegs
      Got you going now
      That cat will take a bow

      Delete
  36. Yes, he is a wonderful man ~ But that last one made me smile ~

    Have a good night Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad it was grand
      And a smile came due at my land

      Delete
  37. Oh, now I'm so confused,
    I don't know what to do!
    hahaha...
    hamstring really made me giggle
    and take out made my middle jiggle.
    lol....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha confused you too
      That isn't easy to do
      Such a feat
      At my street

      Delete
  38. What is the opposite of opposite?

    really interesting lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol who knows what it would be
      An opposite opposite of opposite for thee

      Delete
  39. TVs are called sets because we all want two

    though you can't watch both at the same time not even cross-eyed Sue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well you could try
      If they were small and not very high

      Delete
  40. Oh, oh, oh. I think my head just exploded!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that is not good
      Hopefully it can be put back together like a puzzle at your hood

      Delete
  41. It's closer to bed time
    so, mattress will be
    soon mine.
    Why on the sale?
    'cause made for 1 to 1,
    not for share.
    Good night :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not a share
      That is no fun at ones lair lol

      Delete
  42. lol, great questions. I must ponder on these deep mysteries...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hopefully an answer or two
      Comes due for you

      Delete
  43. Fill it out and fill it in
    Are the same! I need some gin!
    And flammable and inflammable
    Will both burn up a table

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah opposite of this and that
      Seem to turn out that same at your mat

      Delete
  44. Good questions you have raised here
    especially about the one with novel and book
    maybe it has something to do with the amount of pages
    or if it is interesting and makes you take a second look?

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Could have something to do with the pages
      Or maybe just named by monkeys in cages

      Delete
  45. I just assumed losing the lost and found box would create a black hole where it was last seen and anyone close would get sucked in. Too much sci-fi for me maybe?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha maybe a little bit too much
      But if you see a black hole, don't touch

      Delete
  46. Beautiful things can be read all the time as your words here...

    ReplyDelete
  47. Not sure if a pig can pull a hamstring but funny

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that one was fun
      had to give it a run

      Delete
  48. Absolutely enjoyed this. There's a smile on my face. Some of these questions are super clever. Great job.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love to be clever at my sea
      As I go on a question spree

      Delete
  49. Mama Longlegs, what a hoot!
    Makes me wonder at my butte
    Does the black widow male
    Have a name before he's in the pail?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kicks the pail...

      sometimes afterthoughts are so much better!

      Delete
    2. Hmmm I suppose he may
      Or just be a nobody left in dismay

      Delete
  50. Oh my gosh... this post for some reason reminds me of a neighbor I used to live by. He would sit and wonder why trees didn't grow upside down or some other thing that made me just say hmmmmmm

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha the cat made you go hmm you say
      Too funny at my bay

      Delete
  51. Ahhh..the mysteries of the Language..some of my favorites..are evil and live lived..and ..devil..stressed and desserts...and anything that makes my head spin..curved..or looking back for..
    more...:)
    secrets..embedded in the language..
    i speak..!
    again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Back and forth they go
      Words with their flow

      Delete