Wednesday, February 19, 2014

The Dumb Return To Feel The Burn!

A double dose today as the cat is guesting at another bay!

The cat figured it was time to do another chime on dumb crime. I wonder if there will be a mime? These criminals are really in their prime. The criminal underworld ladder the are ready to climb. The cat is gonna drop a dime with this little rhyme.

Fast food is oh so great.
After $120 robbery is your fate.
These criminals went and got some grease,
Then posted on Instagram their fleece.

If a squirrel in a store won't stop.
Just call a nearby cop.
He will scare the critter away.
Shooting to scare it and cause dismay.

A guy walks into a gun store with a bat.
He wants to steal a gun stat.
The owner pulls out a gun of his own.
This guy gets a big dunce cone.

A dumb criminal to take the cake,
A fake ID she couldn't make.
So she gave a stolen ID to a waitress to buy a drink.
Except it was the waitresses stolen ID, landing her in the clink.

Some fun thieves are so broke,
They couldn't hire a getaway bloke.
So they used a donkey to carry their stash.
Now they are having a jailhouse bash.

A couple of thieves couldn't afford a mask.
So what did they use you ask?
Permanent marker on their face.
When stopped by the cops they got a nice cell space.

A thief was good and caught.
So he ran away and forgot his plot.
He did it in the light of day.
So when he was found he thought burglary charges were only for a night display.

A man walks into a bank.
He gives his finger a yank.
Look I have a gun.
Then his finger falls out and he shows everyone.

Another with a nice fake finger gun,
Flagged down a motorist and said what he wanted done.
He wanted to go to nearby bank machines, quick.
But the dummy withdrew from his own account some slick.

The best of all was a man,
Who was no flash in the pan.
Mask, gun, rental car, check!
Wearing work uniform with name tag = no full deck.

They seem to get dumber year after year. You humans are something to fear. The cop technically was not a criminal though. He just wanted that squirrel to go. Too bad, so sad a firing was had. These guys must have sniffed more than grass, so so sad to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

77 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Winning streak #50
      It's half a century!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. half a century old
      And still look bold

      Delete
  2. Wearing work uniform complete with a name tag
    Dressed to pull a job just how dumb can one get
    They are supposed to think hard
    They are supposed to be smart
    Sadly just on the fundamentals they lost the bet!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah guess they aren't bright
      When out in the daylight
      A rather strange pack
      Brains they sure lack

      Delete
  3. Waitress's own ID - that is dumb. Those people have earned the Darwin Award!
    Like the new headers, Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They deserve a couple I'd say
      Glad you like the new headers at play

      Delete
  4. Great to read first thing in my day, sets me up.

    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad I can do so
      With my rhyming flow

      Delete
  5. Finger guns don't seem to work
    Guys who try must be a jerk
    Except when little kids seem to point
    The whole family goes to the joint

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A sad state of affairs
      Throwing them to the joint in pairs
      A jerk or dumb
      With brains in their bum

      Delete
  6. One of my posts last year for A-Z,
    was agnoiology--the study of stupidity,
    I see this field will never run dry,
    of idiots no smarter than a slice of pie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, they would all fit
      Can be classified as a nitwit

      Delete
  7. His finger falls off? Eww Makes me think of all those leprosy jokes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha fell out not off
      That would make many scoff

      Delete
  8. ha. i just went through gang training
    this morning here at school and you could def classify
    some of the things i saw as dumb crook news
    hey you have to watch the finger guns
    with androids on the loose its no so funNy
    guess he could have a trick knee as well
    a bazooka look alike you see...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yeah, never knew about the trick knee
      I wonder if it costs a fee
      What a bunch of crazy fools
      Dumber than a dog who drools

      Delete
  9. I laugh out loud sometimes when I read these kinds of things in the news. The Marker Mask takes the cake, lolol!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol yeah none of them are very bright
      Marker man had to be quite the sight

      Delete
  10. Replies
    1. Glad it was fun
      As i went on dumb criminal 101

      Delete
  11. In my business the dumber the better!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, makes it easier for you
      To make their crime spree through

      Delete
  12. A bat in a gun store?
    Idiots galore!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah moron of the week
      There at his creek

      Delete
  13. They are sure growing dumber crooks these days!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they grow like weeds
      Maybe they need to be in criminal special needs

      Delete
  14. I like the twist of the fake ID
    that would certainly cause a stir
    certainly something she didn't see coming
    and something to next time perhaps fear

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah something to be aware off
      When for a criminal push comes to shove

      Delete
  15. Wow, these were rather funny
    all the things they do for money
    how they get by I haven't a clue
    ending up in cell without a view

    I am so enjoying the new headers

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well at least the get a free meal
      That has to me a deal
      New headers sure are fun
      Adding to my header run

      Delete
  16. The permanent marker beggars belief
    They'll be in the shower scrubbin to the thief is nuffin

    ReplyDelete
  17. Robbing a gun store with a bat?
    Worse than the guy robbing a gas station wearing a flower pot as a hat. (yes, that happened this week lol)
    Some criminal activity is so insane.
    Really makes you wonder if they were born without a brain.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol wow, that really happened too
      What stupid criminals do
      Could make a good show
      Dumb criminal 101 on the go

      Delete
  18. Once again, I must compliment you on the new headers. Very imaginative!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Even has the grammar nazi
      Going on a ferris wheel spree

      Delete
    2. Stuck between a super cat and a prober too
      Better stay seated when in view

      Delete
  19. I think the only really clever crooks that we see,
    Are on the CSI shows on TV.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But most still get caught
      So screwed, clever or not

      Delete
  20. orlin N cassie....theeze peepulz iz even stooooooooooooopier than burds N thatz sayin some thin...

    permament marker on yur face
    N take it off with a can oh mace

    ~~~~~~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. mace them in the face
      They would deserve such an embrace haha

      Delete
  21. Stupid is as stupid does
    No reason why
    Just because
    Then they cry
    For what it was

    Thanks for guest posting on my blog today and sharing the link, Pat. I really appreciate it :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they cry and moan
      With their one phone call after the tone

      Delete
  22. Those are some smart criminals indeed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they need an award
      The whole horde

      Delete
  23. Glad so many criminals are just plain dumb!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they get caught and put away
      Not to bother us again any day

      Delete
  24. Stick em up or I'll point my finger at you and spit.
    Better than pointing my finger and sh--

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Could throw some sh--
      That would make them sputter and spit

      Delete
  25. Frik and Frak went to the shore
    They thought to rob a liquor store
    So they pulled a knife on the owner one day
    Who grabbed a gun and blew them away.
    The End

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did he blow them to Oz?
      That deserves an applause

      Delete
  26. Marker on the face?

    hard to erase

    ReplyDelete
  27. The dumber they are the easier they are to catch

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is very true
      Catch them all in view

      Delete
  28. What idiots to draw on their face with permanent marker

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah dumbies indeed
      There at their feed

      Delete
  29. Walking into a gun store with a bat?
    That's dumber than a mouse chasing a cat
    Posting your loot on Instagram though
    I'm afraid that steals the show

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that just is asking to be caught
      Dumb criminals have no idea how to plot

      Delete
  30. They do sound pretty silly. Maybe they should try a change of career.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah need to go be a lumber jack
      Or learn to find the brains they lack

      Delete
  31. Now this is my kind of post. Dumb criminals offer endless entertainment value for the masses. Glad the cat found some good ones.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they can entertain a ton
      With their very dumb run

      Delete
  32. Like the chime,
    when drink chai
    read the rhyme
    anytime ...

    specially, with double doze :)



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A double dose is grand
      To read across the land

      Delete
  33. Work uniform with full name?/That's so lame/no wonder the cat's mocking us/animals just go about their crime with minimum fuss! :-)

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they get it done
      And away they run

      Delete
  34. I love the permanent marker on the face. It's my disguise!!! Uh, permanently!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha what color do you use?
      Some colors might confuse

      Delete
  35. Don't you wish with humble zeal
    Sometimes finger guns could work for real?
    Just teasing of course, but still made me yearn
    For a novel way to make heads turn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha yeah that would be fun
      Take the money and run

      Delete