Tuesday, February 18, 2014

They Provide With dVerse Pride!

There are those with names that allow you to call and play games, Verizon and Bell think they are swell. They give you a fee and laugh to the bank with glee. Bill you up the wazoo with pride but they surely provide.

Leave a message at the tone.
If you paid for one of your own.
If not, sorry is all we say.
Call back again another day.

That is if your minutes are there.
If not, we really don't care.
Just sit and wait a while.
Hey, at least you don't have to turn a dial.

Texts you ask?
In them you can bask.
But we will charge for each one.
Feel free to have many spun.

Reach out and touch.
Go talk much.
Even if they are far away.
Show the love at your bay.

Forget the extra fee.
Let your blabber fly free.
It doesn't rack up fast.
That is a thing of the past.

What? You calling me a liar?
I suppose my pants are on fire.
But your wallet feels the burn,
As we ding you at every turn.

And never fear,
You can find each blog cheer.
Just log on the Internet.
If your data purchase has been met.

If not, buy some.
No need to be glum.
Then if you go over,
We charge you up the rear of even rover.

But if you want.
You can forget our taunt.
Don't worry your pretty little head.
We will still charge you a processing fee while you're in bed.

What? Forget the hype.
Don't use that thing called Skype.
Free isn't what it is cracked up to be.
Stick with me and my fee.

The cat just had to have a little fun with the cell phone companies under the sun. A fee for this and a fee for that, they are worse than a gnat. Even worse than a singing bass. Glad none are needed by my dVerse little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

103 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Without a break #49
      One so sublime!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. One more to go
      And 50 will show

      Delete
  2. oh yeah, go over and rover will bend you over ha
    i have unlimited so i wont worry
    though all i use data for is to check email
    occassionally

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha bend over and take it
      They sure have that down as the charges they hit

      Delete
  3. I do so enjoy your poems, sets me up for the day. Another excellent one.
    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad it sets you up
      And not down like a pup

      Delete
  4. They screw you in the end with a fee for this and a fee for that

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Out to screw you
      No pleasure either at your zoo

      Delete
  5. Never leave it on when going to another country. Bills are through the roof

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, never ever do that
      You'll have to sell your doormat

      Delete
  6. I can't stand a cell phone
    I proclaim with a moan...
    Even the one I own
    Is used only as a phone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I turn it off when one me
      If it wasn't convenient at times I'd pitch it in the sea

      Delete
  7. I have had many a bad experience with my cell phone carrier
    In the days before cell phones things were much more merrier

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That they were indeed
      Now its just text text text at ones feed

      Delete
  8. I got burnt once, many years ago when I first purchased a plan and came to realize minutes meant any second into a minute that you've used. ;) I think it was a $200 phone bill that did the trick. :)

    That was back when I was working. We have Trac Phones now, hahaha. $20 every three or four months if that, and I've got a phone in case of emergency. Fine by me. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ouch, that is quite the bill
      That would not be a thrill
      I need to get one that is $20 like that
      Would be easier on the cat

      Delete
  9. What say Cat, you don't charge a fee
    Say your little rhyming ass is free
    Does it include unlimited calling
    Or would that be too appalling
    Does that include free sand
    And a hootchy kootchy band
    But I suppose it has hidden cost
    And all saving then be lost

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah you have to remember
      That to be a member
      There is a hidden fee
      It is always charged to thee
      Can't find it?
      Don't sweat it a bit

      Delete
  10. This could not be more true! Its so sad how these companies feed on the cell phone addiction that has plagued us and profit off of it hand over fist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they make so much dough
      Off of this stupid texting show

      Delete
  11. Don't forget the tax. The Feds get theirs to the max. And the access charge, well, it isn't so large. Then there are the usage fees bringing us to our knees. Oh and if you don't put in a code, you'll be using Canadian towers up the road. Verizon is the king of taking everything.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never knew about the Canadian towers
      That could sure bring fee showers

      Delete
  12. They are raking in all the big bucks
    They provide a service but it sucks
    They're innovative
    No, just repetitive
    Though they seem to have all the luck!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah repeat repeat repeat
      Pretending all is neat
      Version 6.6.7.8.9
      Pretending it changes down the line

      Delete
  13. Um, what the hell, cat? The banner I got today had me on a ferris wheel as a pig???? Thought I was a turtle?? Pfft!

    Watch your tongue cat
    or you won't be able to say scat
    when you push the green button
    on your phone, it'll do nothin'
    because you pissed off the big
    phone companies with your gig
    no more calls or texts for you
    their vengeance will come due

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha I gave the illustrator free reign
      To make the one eyed one look insane
      Pfft I'll just get a burner phone
      And still have a dial tone

      Delete
  14. Cell phones
    Dog groans
    Phones in your cell
    What the hell
    The joy of text
    What next
    More hidden fees
    They aim to please
    Not
    A lot

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not a bit
      Full of shit
      That they are
      Near and far
      You might like that
      Some tasty scat

      Delete
  15. What would we do without our silly cells?!?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Be lost in the dark
      They can even bark

      Delete
  16. When our electric was out for a week, my neighbor tried to get our cable and phone company a price break because no one was using their services. No, it didn't work. Though if I didn't show up for work, no matter the reason, for a week, bet my wouldn't have paid me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah kind of a double standard there
      Of which they pretend to not know at their lair

      Delete
  17. That's why I'm glad I don't have a cell phone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only reason I like it is if I get stuck
      Won't have to sit there and say umm duck

      Delete
  18. I don't have a cell phone either! I've heard a lot of horror stories about the charges. Cable, internet, land line ~ they all ding you. At least you make the topic humorous! Have a good day at your bay!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah you get dinged every way
      Fun to give them a blast at my bay

      Delete
  19. No life with cellphones now
    Sad you or proud ~ go with time
    or skype it sublime.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Skype away
      At ones bay
      Nice and free
      Causes glee

      Delete
  20. I've been using Skype. It's not the most reliable thing, but it probably beats cell phones.

    (I like your new Ferris wheel banner. Quite a crew you have going around on it!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it cuts out a ton
      But it is free under the sun
      That one was fun to do
      As many are there in view

      Delete
  21. Skype is free and easy to use ~ Other stuff, you pay and pay ~

    I prefer paying up front, so no hidden fees will be a surprise ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah paying up front is easier to do
      Then you don't get the big screw you

      Delete
  22. My gr-son has grabbed the iPad and taken off with it, Mom in pursuit. No phone calls or apps purchased, but it is only a matter of time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah it will happen soon
      Many an app for a cartoon

      Delete
  23. FUN :) this reminds me that once while I traveled and I had my phone off, Sprint charged me roaming charges through the roof. Grace is right, Skype is free and easy :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they can sure get you every way
      Have to leave it home or take the battery out should away you stray

      Delete
  24. oh i luckily have a flat rate... at tchibo...their main business is coffee actually..ha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha never heard of that one
      I guess they always make it easier for a coffee run

      Delete
  25. Fun. Telephones just aren't what they used to be, not to mention the service.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah the service has gone way down hill
      That also isn't a thrill

      Delete
  26. I love my cell phone but don't get charged a ton of fees. I do the prepaid plan. Flat fee for talk, text, and internet each month. Though I do hate it when they call to try to upgrade to their other bs services!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they try that one me a time or three
      But I just hang up at my sea

      Delete
  27. orlin N casie...de carnival header iz rockin !!!

    N ewe nailed that fone fee ...

    give em a minit N they will bee chargin ewe for carryin de fone from point A ta point B N callin it mileage !!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, that is about the way
      One big carnival there too on display

      Delete
  28. I was out of luck when I opened up the phone bill this month
    Almost $500
    What the f***!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yuck to that
      That would bankrupt the cat

      Delete
  29. Dear Pat, I seldom use a cell phone--although I have one, which is on my niece's contract. She wanted me to have one because of the problems with Meniere's Disease. But I do so understand about fees because I use AT&T U-verse for Internet, Phone, and Television and that company charges all the time without even asking if I want something new or this or that. Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds like they need to take a hike
      But then more charges i bet they would strike

      Delete
  30. I was reading and was saying "Skype" "Skype" till I read the line. To me Skype works just fine. Most of time I spend on conference calls and they are free and international calls are pretty much negligible. I may sound like a granny but I remember days when we used internet an hour of a day blocking the phone calls now I use internet for my homephone (no, not magicjack but viatalk, phonepower) and T-Mobile prepaid. Works much better.
    Cell phone bills are literally atrocious. See, landline they have to run copper but mobile phone there is only first time investment then everything is like toll road - you cant be charging same price for ever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Skype is the easiest way
      Although not always reliable at ones bay
      They thing they can charge up the wazoo
      One big racket at every zoo

      Delete
  31. So true...free is not always free! You have to read the fine print.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The fine print can get you in the end
      Sometimes don't hit send

      Delete
  32. Thank you! You nailed that one. The telephone company makes me nuts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hit the nail on the head
      As they cause dread

      Delete
  33. cell phone is a must for me
    need to keep in touch at my sea
    I just go with the flat rate plan
    hidden fees they should ban

    The new header is grand
    taking in the view on top
    so much fun in your land
    may the ride never stop...


    two light hearted fools on top

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With how fast you type
      You don't need to gripe
      Can get everything sent in a second or two
      Giving the cell phone company a big screw you
      No fees for you
      In and out at your zoo
      Hmmm that sounds bad?
      On top fun is had
      But only one
      To get things done

      Delete
  34. The cat is rather funny, though I never laugh at my bills. And those fees, hidden and seen, they make me steam!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah bills don't make one laugh indeed
      Unless you plan to run away and not pay them at your feed

      Delete
  35. I own a cell phone but it doesn't own me. All bills make me crazy. For some reason I'm expected to pay for the goods I use.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah those bills need to go
      No more high or low

      Delete
  36. My tech savvy son convinced us to try
    calling long distance by using wi-fi
    "It'll save you some money" he said with a grin
    so we cancelled our carrier and gave it a spin.
    It seemed good in theory, we said "What the hey!"
    but now when we speak, we're on 5-second delay
    Just like prime-time t.v. that cuts out the cursing,
    but it sure is a pain each time we're conversing'!!!

    Seriously, this is true!! The good news is we're saving all kinds of money, primarily because we're not calling long-distance very often anymore! Lol!!

    As always Pat, loved your poem!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha look at you go
      With the phone flow
      Skype has a delay?
      Usually on cue at my bay
      But at least you save lots of dough
      And can still talk at your show
      Even if on delay
      Time travel on display

      Delete
  37. Lol. When it comes to technology, I have much to learn. I know I am part of the technology generation but I have not caught up with it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And it keeps on flying by
      Why even try lol

      Delete
  38. Can't rhyme my try
    no matter how hard I would try

    But you really hit this on the nail! Transferred son's phone back onto our Verizon plan back in December, except I assumed his plan would come with him until we upgraded our plan later that month. Boy I was wrong. $798 later when the bill came, I realized we were charged for every single one of his text messages. Luckily they adjusted the bill significantly and I learned my lesson to not assume if this happens in the future. They got you coming and going and now that you can get hooked up to the internet with your phone and they sell gigabytes so cheap, they are training you to use your cell phone for everything. Ridiculous!

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha wow, would have be rough
      To rhyme all of that stuff haha

      But yeah they get you every way
      that is one big arse bill at your bay
      Adding everything to the thing
      Allows them to give your bill another ding

      Delete
  39. I'm so happy I don't have a cell phone. The texting, calling, texting, charges, fee's...lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The texting really annoys
      Brings me no joys

      Delete
  40. I miss my old landline phone

    cell phone audio quality might as well be an ice cream cone

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah it can sure suck
      Sometimes you get in luck

      Delete
  41. I love my phone for keeping in touch with the kids away at school,
    I'm lucky that my children still find talking to mom is cool.
    I'll pay a big fee to hear what they to say,
    It's so great to hear from them nearly every day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well that is a good way
      To keep in touch at your bay
      Worth it I bet
      As the crummy fees are set

      Delete
  42. My Human has a dumb cell phone
    Which she mostly leaves strictly alone
    She don't ever make a fuss
    Cuz it only costs 8 bucks
    (A month) so she doesn't complain
    It causes no financial pain!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha wow that is cheap
      I'd take that by the heap

      Delete
  43. That last paragraph about Skype and free is just pure genius!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah just grab on to that
      I like being a smart cat

      Delete
  44. Well ATT&T makes possibilities..free..to fish..until the bill comes..at first at $99..soon escalating with BeLL's and whistles..
    for over $240 for more..
    so the information highway is never free..but
    information is priceless
    so i go
    and bite...
    ATT&T already captured me..
    Y
    NOt

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They sem to have you caught
      And fee you a whole lot

      Delete
  45. skype is great I use it to call my parents all the time, so much cheaper than having to call another country with your mobile phone, could you imagine the phone bill? probably would have to sell my soul to pay it off...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah the bill would be huge indeed
      Skype sure helps things along at ones feed

      Delete
  46. Bleh, Bell has been giving me issues too with trying to upgrade my phone. I'm not paying over a hundred dollars to switch, thanks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah the dicks like to be a pain in the ass
      I have them for internet and they kinda suck in mass

      Delete
  47. Unlimited is the way to go
    then you don't have to worry so!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah but that isn't cheap
      As up the price does creep

      Delete
  48. I don't pay for texts... but I hate texting. We have 5 of us on our cell service so we have to watch the talking minutes unless others have our same provider

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah hate stupid texting too
      Takes to long at ones zoo

      Delete
  49. My stupid carrier doesn't have unlimited data - doesn't even offer it - which we didn't know, until we went over it. I didn't know a bill could go that high.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah as soon as you go over
      They screw you worse than a leg humping rover

      Delete
  50. My carrier has me by the tail
    Even when all signals fail
    Can't live with the price
    Can't live without the nice
    Guess I'll keep on paying the bill
    Even though it makes me ill

    ReplyDelete