Sunday, March 16, 2014

Me, Endorse? Sure, Without Remorse!

So every once in a while the cat gets an email that goes to the delete pile. It says such and such a product is so great that I should endorse it at my gate. Wow, it must be oh so grand that they have to bug a cat to plug it at his land. But just for today, I'll give it a go at my bay.

Look a this!
It causes bliss.
It is oh so great.
How can others relate.

Here is a review,
That is oh so true.
What? It's not a plot.
The review was not bought.

33% of all reviews on the net may be.
But this review is oh so true at our sea.
Just put it with your post,
And give a link to our coast.

That is all you need to do.
Oh yeah, and endorse it too.
You can't give a bad review.
That just will not do.

If it is a bad one.
Ignore it a ton.
Don't tell one and all.
We want a great cat call.

We still want you to tell the truth,
Just the good kind at your booth.
The bad kind goes away,
Did we mention we will pay?

Yeah, pay for a great review.
Wait! That isn't true.
We will just pay you,
For a look and review.

The pay is just an incentive from us.
No need for a paid review fuss.
But there may be more if it is grand,
And you help us sell in our land.

So endorse us today.
Get your pay.
Help us sell.
Who cares if it is sucky as hell.

We just want the dough,
Thanks to your rhyming flow.
We only sent this email for help to you too.
The million others don't mean as much, it's true.

Did I just endorse such emails at me sea? Or did I just burn them down with glee? I will go with the second one. They are all robots anyway under their sun. No way hosa is what comes to pass when they bother my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

71 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Now it's #2
      Slowly through!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. Back once more
      On a streak at my shore

      Delete
  2. It is just not worth a bother
    Tell them to lay off, brother
    No review today
    Come another day
    Maybe will then try to ponder

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They would come back though
      If I said another day at my show haha

      Delete
  3. ha. endorsements are what they are worth
    the money paid for their birth
    same reason i dont put a lot of stock in amazon reviews
    as everyone gets friends to spew
    and then you buy it and come face to face
    with the abuse

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Getting paid a ton
      Works under my sun
      But just a little bit
      Won't be a hit
      33% of all amazon reviews are fake
      So right not to partake

      Delete
  4. Get a celeb to endorse
    Easier will be their hand to force
    If a famed one uses it, must be ok
    Like a fairy godmother, she'll save the day

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah the more fame on has to share
      The more they will make people aware
      So use away
      Like the famous folks on display

      Delete
  5. An interesting piece that I enjoyed reading. Well done.

    Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

    ReplyDelete
  6. What if kitty got asked to do a great three story cat scratching house? Or a pedestal eating plate (I saw one recently and laughed)? I think that'd be awesome. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. a pedestal eating plate?
      That may be a nice fate
      The cat scratching house he'd take
      Then the review surely wouldn't be fake

      Delete
  7. Someone told me once, that if I saw a cock roach crawling across the floor, I could write a story about it. YOU can rhyme about anything. Great job.

    Oh and here's one for you. I received an email from a man who said he and his wife want to share their fortune with me. All I had to do was email him back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can rhyme anything at my sea
      Easy as can be
      And yeah got that email too
      Seems they want to share with every zoo

      Delete
  8. Paid to review means it is usually crappy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. More than likely the way
      At each and every bay

      Delete
  9. That was a very nice review of the review of the reviews!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Going into the review of the review of the reviews zone
      Twilight Zone may get jealous at the tone

      Delete
  10. The only way you should do a review
    is if you believe in it at your zoo
    make sure there something in it for you
    how do you know which review is true
    buy the product you might be blue
    some are helpful & to that I say thank you..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some are helpful indeed
      But many are fake at many a feed
      33% of reviews on the internet are fake
      So be careful in what you partake

      Delete
  11. Spam emails I delete with glee
    They won't get a review from me
    Into the trash they go right away
    Before they cause me dismay :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, that is the way
      Except the cat can have fun at his bay
      Bury them in the litterbox
      That will curl their socks

      Delete
  12. I've gotten a lot of review requests, but nobody has ever offered to pay me. Sounds like your pad is a spam magnet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh spam I get indeed
      I was offered to be paid a few times at my feed
      But for some of them no way
      Unless they offer me tons of pay

      Delete
  13. Say you'll do it, just charge them triple

    ReplyDelete
  14. I have gotten a few as well. But I just delete them

    ReplyDelete
  15. I've been asked for reviews, but never to be paid for them. You're special, Pat:)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oops, I take that back. I did get one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn, not special after all
      I'll go mope down the hall

      Delete
  17. What? You mean I am not the only best blogger who was asked to endorse the greatest new energy hogger? I thought I was so great, but now I see that riches for reviews aren't my fate. Alas, thanks for that, Rhyming Ass.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad i could show you the light
      Hopefully you don't want to fight

      Delete
  18. When you bury those emails you dread
    make sure you don't hit Gloria in the head!
    ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha she make give me an oh dear
      If sand in her mouth isn't near

      Delete
  19. I do not endorse, no, not I
    on this my space
    those similar emails get deleted too
    and all memories of them erased.

    Will do a book review if I choose to
    on my terms, but won't advertise nor endorse, nor hold any type of contest unless it is of my choosing.

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, that is the way
      Choice yourself at your bay
      Unless they offer tons of pay
      Then I'd wing it I'd say
      I can be bought
      It just takes a lot lol

      Delete
  20. Sounds like the price of fame
    It's all the same:
    Everyone wants their cut
    To get out of their fiscal rut
    But work for it? That they refuse
    When all your work they'd rather use
    To sell their stuff here at your site
    And bring them big bucks and fame.
    Yeah, right.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah right is the way
      To go about it at your bay
      Tell them to take a hike
      Not gonna give them a fake like

      Delete
  21. Well, I have become more and more skeptical of endorsements. They are so easy to do on the internet, I always think that people are finding a way to endorse their own things....and, Pat, good for you for resisting being paid for things on your feed. I had those commercials I see on people's feeds.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, there is a way
      I know many ways at my bay
      But I reframe as it's kinda under handed to do
      Not that I'm above that at my zoo
      But would rather rhyme
      And not to some commercialized chime

      Delete
  22. I hate those type e-mails. And it disgusting that Google posts ads at the top emails.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah stupid google is a pain
      With their ads across the train

      Delete
  23. Ha, it's also happened to me/Mr, would you like to see/the product we have to sell?/My reply? Go to hell! :-)/So, the cat's actually quite polite/Me, I wouldn't give them the time of day... or night!

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha go to hell
      Fits about right where they dwell

      Delete
  24. Why someone would pay for a review is just so beyond me when so many are willing to give products and books a truthful review for free.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because the reviews are usually crap
      So they pay to get more across the map

      Delete
  25. I like free stuff at my zoo
    So I will take a review offer or two.
    Though I get plenty spammed with offers that make me say no way
    If I don't feel it's something we will enjoy, hit delete and walk away.
    I appreciate the offers that pay
    Being a sahm, it's a way to help with the bills at my bay :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True, keeps the bills paying
      With their review playing

      Delete
  26. plug something at your sea?
    where's the dough it seems to me.
    better than an email from the king of Nigeria
    leaving you and the cat in hysteria (not really a rhyme:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah king abubu
      Has sent me an email a time or two

      Delete
  27. Pay for review ? Or pay per review.. But thanks no thanks. Do I need to swallow something? Do I need to plug something ? Do I need to disguise myself and go somewhere and drive something back? Thanks no thanks..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha if it were a lot of pay
      I may do it at my bay
      But it would need to be a lot
      For me to be bought

      Delete
  28. To endorse
    I'd ask to taste the piece-
    If it's good - send me more...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That could be grand
      If you like to eat in your land

      Delete
  29. I have barely enough time to review the stuff I actually think I might like.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Time is a factor
      can't review a tractor

      Delete
  30. I must be a slacka,
    With a real lacka,
    Of endorsing ambition...
    They can go to perdition!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They don't like you
      Slacking at your zoo haha

      Delete
  31. I am not below offering space on my blog for endorsements. I need the money. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They have to pay me a ton
      For my to give that a run

      Delete
  32. This is jumping the shark territory, Fonz....Because then you write to please the ad people...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, no jumping the shark
      That will leave a mark

      Delete
  33. Will you ever do political endorsements is paid enough?
    That would be some interesting rhyming stuff

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahaha oh that would be fun
      Might not like how it's done
      But if paid enough
      I'd do almost any stuff

      Delete
  34. I don't know why these people think we will endorse anything they are trying to push. Bunch of jerks.

    ReplyDelete