Friday, April 4, 2014

Hold Your Breath To Avoid This Death!

Today the cat will help you out so no one around you does a twist and shout. I will keep you alive by giving you some tips on how to survive. Today for D we go all Death at my sea.

Did you know,
That when you go,
If you push too hard,
Could pop a blood vessel and be beneath the yard?

What about those with a long beard,
They aren't just to be feared.
One guy stepped on his hair,
Tripped, and burned up at his lair.

A poet tried to kiss the reflection of the moon.
He was said to be a drunk loon.
Then oopsy, he fell in.
Drowned at his moon kissing bin.

Grammar Nazi better take heed,
The second could happen at his feed.
Truedessa better watch out for the third,
Okay, back to the absurd.

A man said when he died,
He wanted to be struck by lightning and fried.
He told one and all,
Then oopsy, fried as Zeus answered his call.

A Congressman was defending a case.
He said the victim shot himself in the face.
To prove it he pulled a gun of his own,
Showed how, oopsy wasn't empty, dead at the tone.

To prove the glass at the Toronto Dominion Center would not break,
A guy ran at it while all did a double take.
The window popped out of its frame and he died,
But the glass didn't break as he went for his ride.

A man wished to be killed,
So it was actually willed.
But that is not the whole story,
He also wished to be eaten, kinda gory.

A crazy woman driver hit a homeless guy.
He did not get thrown into the sky.
Instead stuck in her windshield but still pretty fine.
She went home, parked, left him there and acted like all was divine.

Then come the hoarders,
They have no borders.
Instead they had so much crap,
They were buried alive in their own death trap.

There you go the cat has now told you what not to do at your show. Too bad someone actually had to do the above though. Just never follow such an example at your show. So no moon kissing or running at glass. Feel free to thank my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

80 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. 20 in a row
      No counting today at my show?

      Delete
    2. Perfect 10 twice over
      #20 now but lots to cover
      Apologies for not counting
      Had to rush for something

      Hank

      Delete
    3. But still got in
      Beating Brian for the win

      Delete
  2. i'd hate to bite the bullet taking a dump,
    could be worse you could be doing the humpty hump
    in costume, yelling giddiyap!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha hmm both would be a bad way to go
      At least with the giddiyap you'd be having fun though

      Delete
    2. that's the way Elvis went

      time not well spent

      Delete
    3. Yeah not well indeed
      Screwed at his feed

      Delete
  3. That's crazy that the glass didn't break. In fact, all of these are crazy. And oy at the lady who hit a homeless man!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah nuts as can be
      No running at glass at your sea

      Delete
  4. Well, one less crooked congressman... That was really dumb though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah always test the gun first
      Before your brains burst

      Delete
  5. There are so many ways to die
    To your post I will reply
    It's a wonder that any reach old age
    The world's a perfect death-trap stage
    Huge machines are made of metal
    Drive a car on chance you settle
    Living is akin to a cats paw
    It all depends on luck of the draw

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very true
      A billion ways to go at ones zoo
      Be here forever in a day
      Trying to list them all at ones bay
      Could trip over a cat
      Bang your head and that is that

      Delete
  6. Wow did all these really happen for real?
    Those stories will make someone squeal!
    I guess I better limit the growth of my beard
    I didn't realize it was something I should have feared

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Get it way to long
      And all could go wrong
      And yep real too
      Some have little clue

      Delete
  7. I've never had the urge to run at glass.
    You'd have to lose brain cells in mass!
    I actually remember a few of those!
    They got what they deserve, I suppose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brought it on themselves
      Brain cells must still be left on the shelves

      Delete
  8. I hope when I die
    it will cause all to sigh
    and say I'll be missed
    and maybe be pissed
    I'm no longer around
    but buried underground
    then I'll rise from the dead
    and bite those I dread

    like the cat
    at his mat!

    Elsie
    AJ's wHooligan in the A-Z Challenge

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha will you floss first
      Some mouth wash for such a burst?
      I hope you have good dental hygiene
      But even your dead self will choke on my spleen

      Delete
  9. Nope, no moon kissing or running at glass for me. I'll just let whatever will be will be. A fun post. Thanks. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha a good way to be
      No hanging from the super crazy tree

      Delete
  10. That would be scary to be a hoarder
    buried in all their stuff
    removing their body
    could be a bit rough!

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. May be in need of a back hoe
      Even to find their toe

      Delete
  11. Lightening guy should've been more careful about what he wished for!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah poor guy got fried
      Had to be a blow to his pride

      Delete
  12. The running at glass one was pretty tragic. We all gotta go some time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that would suck
      Needed the wings of a duck

      Delete
  13. Oh, my heck. Some of those people needed to think ahead better. Great post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that they do
      Before they go and turn blue

      Delete
  14. I sure wouldn't want to be fried, yikes!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'd hate to die an embarrassing death...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Be remembered by all
      Though at your hall

      Delete
  16. It is no joke when it comes to dying
    But it is no surprise many died trying
    'Let me die
    Don't ask why'
    After all nothing like having a last fling

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A good last fling
      Can turn into a deadly thing

      Delete
  17. When I go
    It's quite a show
    Sitting on Jo
    That's the seat
    A place where friends meet
    No blood or flees
    No dying bees
    Just trembling um... knees
    Sick yet? Don't you die on me
    Thanks for the advice all 4 free
    That Congressman had half a brain
    Lying on the floor insane

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He let his brains out
      With his final shout
      No blood or fleas
      What about poison peas

      Delete
    2. Betsy just came a-knocking on my door
      Wrote something that makes me want some more
      No fleas, though, in her comment game
      But she did mention your name
      Something about the color green
      More beautiful than I've ever seen

      Delete
    3. haha green you say?
      I'm going all teenage mutant ninja turtles at your bay

      Delete

  18. Who knows what will fall at you
    when enter outside on cue.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Replies
    1. Bad luck by the ton
      As death had its fun

      Delete
  20. Those are some terrible and creepy ways to go,
    I'd rather just fall asleep in the snow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that be easy as can be
      Although kinda cold for thee

      Delete
  21. They will always live on in a not what to do way

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A what not to do way
      Indeed on display

      Delete
  22. I don't know which one would be the worst way to go

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Falling out the window
      Or drowning below

      Delete
  23. Ahahahahaha! Totally funny. I can't express how unafraid I am. But I completely your verses today! jean xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unafraid of falling out a window
      At least it won't break at your show

      Delete
  24. Well those are sure lots of ways to die, none of which sound great but some good lessons to be learned too.Don't go kissing the moon.
    Have a great day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah don't kiss the moon
      It isn't some cartoon

      Delete
  25. Hoarders are sick people, knowing that death is part of the sickness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sickness they have at their sea
      Need to give them nothing but a tree

      Delete
  26. I'm trying to refrain
    To say I hope the Congressman
    Was in that party with McCain
    The evil one that ends with "n"
    But I'll shut up before I'm shot dead
    At your den.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, it doesn't bother me
      But yeah may start a war at my sea
      They all lie any way
      Let them all shoot themselves I say

      Delete
  27. Life can be sort, life can be long
    Sometimes tears, sometimes a song
    While life is neither here nor there
    It's death that's rarely ever fair.

    VR Barkowski

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it comes on a whim
      And things can get grim

      Delete
  28. Wow, what a death just to kiss the moon
    better to be a bit wiser & not a drunk loon
    as the poet's head did the moon swoon..
    now he is dead, his time came too soon

    now, cat thanks for the advice..
    I will definitely think twice...
    if I get the urge to kiss the moon
    I'll just play a mystical tune...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha sounds like a better way
      To stay above ground at your bay
      Or is you must do it on a whim
      Stay far away from places you need to swim

      Delete
  29. Replies
    1. Not a one
      But many ever are under ones sun

      Delete
  30. orlin N cassie....a zombeez wanna bee iz de dood who willed hiz own self deaded !!! hay, heerz two a wild whitefish week oh end ◄►

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That makes sense too
      They love the zombie crew

      Delete
  31. I guess a thank you is in order
    In case I try to cross life's border
    None of these will I try
    I'll just lie down and wait for the by and by

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is a safer way
      As long as you make time to play

      Delete
  32. Depending on what camp you're in, it sounds like D might be for Darwin.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Evolution isn't a play
      I think it went backwards today

      Delete
  33. Wisdom in your words once again!

    ReplyDelete
  34. I think that's just the universe weeding out the morons from the gene pool. Except the poor guy that was stuck in the windshield for days. I remember feeling really sorry for that guy when I first heard about it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is good way to look at it
      The morons take the hit

      Delete
  35. Yikes ~ Your first verse reminded me of Elvis and how he died!
    Fun post produced by your hide!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He kicked the bucket
      Sure to say umm duck it

      Delete
  36. If you have to try that hard to go.... you probably are constipated and should do an enema.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha stick it up your rear
      So things are clear

      Delete