There are just so many out there that the cat has so much ammo at his lair. They come near and far as they try to rob things like a bar. But the dumber they are the easier they are to catch by train, plane or car.
A guy tried to rob a liquor store.
Tried to climb out through the roof to explore.
Fell on his butt three times.
Third time gave up, sat down, smoked and waited for cop chimes.
A lady decides to rob a bank.
But she doesn't want a tank.
She was just drunk on mouth wash,
And wanted to buy more of the slosh.
Car gets stolen with a car phone.
Cops call and say they want to buy it at the tone.
Thief meets up to sell,
Now he has a nice comfy cell.
A guy thinks it was grand,
To impersonate a cop and shake a hand.
Except he does so to a real cop.
Ended up in quite the flop.
Can't get a ride home?
No need to walk or roam.
Just steal an ambulance that is near by.
That won't be hard to spot from the sky.
A guy sets trash cans on fire,
States he was not a liar.
He was just trying to keep warm.
In 115 F weather there could be a snow storm?
Stab your friend in the rear.
Then give a happy cheer.
Even if they choke,
Go with the defense that it was just a joke.
Not enough money in the til?
Tie up the clerk and wait for it to fill.
Just work the desk yourself,
Sadly you may end up on a jail house shelf.
Cops knew they had the right guy,
In each coin machine theft cry,
When he paid $400 in quarters for bail.
Sadly, not a tall tale.
Suck back a single malt,
And prepare to assault.
A Taco Bell Burrito does the trick.
Yep, you still can end up behind a wall of brick.
There we are for today, another bunch of dumb criminals on display. Maybe they will wise up one day? Yeah, that is highly unlikely at any bay. They just keep adding to the mass and giving ammo to my little rhyming ass.
Experience spring, have a fling.