Sunday, June 29, 2014

Make The Call To A Near Umm Far Away Hall!

It seems every single company has the same call center these days. It is like one big loop around maze. They always go back to the same spot. Basically to some far off sand lot.

Something breaks,
You get the shakes.
This cannot be.
What can be done by thee?

You find the toll free number,
This interrupted your slumber.
They swear they are near,
So you stick the phone to your ear.

You hear lines are busy,
Throwing you in a tizzy.
But forget the hissy fit,
That music is sure it.

The robot voices chimes in,
Saying you will soon win.
Do not go away,
You are in the call fray.

The music is in your head,
It is causing dread.
You can repeat the robot,
It annoys a whole lot.

Then you hear a click.
They pick up some slick.
Ready to hep you,
From a far away zoo.

They can help you out,
They know what it's about.
Just give access they say,
To your computer today.

A remote login is fine.
We stay behind the line.
We won't surf your porn.
You don't have to be torn.

Maybe take some info for this,
Something you will not miss.
Until one faithful day,
When our bills you have to pay.

But remote access is okay.
Listen to what we say.
It will be fixed in no time flat.
Trust us, you silly cat.

Yeah right! Not in the sun or darkness of night. Thankfully the cat has no need to use such things at his feed. At least not much to date. But that will never be such a fate. Install a keylogger they could with ease and then away with your info they will breeze. Do not let anyone trespass, trust my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

75 comments:

  1. You find the toll free number
    That'll make things a lot easier
    One is relieved
    Not getting spiffed
    Not played out because of fear

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No fear to be had
      Just annoyance at ones pad

      Delete
  2. I have never had anyone from a call center ask to remote in
    I would never oblige them, nor grant access to my pin
    And that music they play is top notch
    Makes me wanna down a bottle of scotch

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha get drunk on the phone
      As they leave you all alone

      Delete
  3. Oh and by the way I was #2
    That calls for a whoopdi-friggin-do

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yippeee for you
      Or yeah, just whoopdi friggin doo

      Delete
  4. Damn, man, that cat's right all the time/it drives me nuts when I call up and all I get it's old Vivaldi's springtime.

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha drives you nuts
      Hope you aren't crazy enough to sniff butts

      Delete
  5. I worked in tech support for the govt. and the users expected us to hold their hands, basically. Even in government, it's gradually going toward outsourcing it. I think eventually we'll all be calling India when we have a problem. This is why I just live with my laptop's problems--the one time I called, I got a guy who barely spoke English and it's just too frustrating to me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I fix it my damn self if need be
      Screw calling such crap when I can do it at my sea

      Delete
  6. And don't forget it takes five whole minutes just to understand what they are saying...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, have to perk up your ear
      And still don't get it I fear

      Delete
  7. :) Yes..the cat does not need that :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Catnip for the cat for being spot-on about the calls. If you want to waste a huge part of your day and be annoyed to the max, make the call.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. catnip for me?
      Yippeeee
      The cat will roll
      And not worry about such a stroll

      Delete
  9. at least they have moved them all out of india
    i actually got someone from missouri the other day
    i cant stand the automated responders
    with ineffective voice recognition software
    drive me a bit crazy at my lair...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh those automated things suck
      Press the wrong button and shit out of luck

      Delete
  10. A Suess-ishly brilliant cat hath spoken here!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat shall speak
      Sending all up the creek

      Delete
  11. Oh how I hate phone calls made by those in call centers. When I hear a lot of mumbling voices in the background, I just hang up......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hang up and be on your day
      That is sure the better way

      Delete
  12. I'm just glad the internet cut down on the necessity to call a help center and get someone you can barely understand.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, can find things with ease
      Much better unless the screen does freeze

      Delete
  13. Oh my. Want to see me turn into something ugly? Tell me I have to call customer service for anything. Ugh. No--DOUBLE UGH. That's Ugh, Ugh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha know how to get you going
      Thanks to this little showing

      Delete
  14. We will do everything we can to avoid calls like that and we're pretty good at it!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha run under the bed
      And put your paws over your head

      Delete
  15. the automated thing drives me insane
    that music is too much for my brain
    then when you finally get a real voice
    you just want to dance and rejoice
    language barrier at many a halls
    just hang up and forget about calls
    a help desk you say
    that will be the day..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha found what you hate
      Now the cat can get your irate
      I'll make up an automated voice
      Female or male, your choice

      Delete
  16. That is so scary when they want to just get into your computer. And those automated calls are the worst. Take care and all you cats have a great day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That they are
      Tell them where to go at my bar

      Delete
  17. I ignore their offers, even if its for a free trip
    Free? Nothing is ever free around here ~
    Have a good Sunday Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, nothing is free
      But maybe a kick to the knee

      Delete
  18. I prefer to do my deals without the phone
    as the call-center voices makes me groan
    and they always take the larger cut
    as I wait in line and slowly rut

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah best way to go
      Then you get more dough

      Delete
  19. I spent some time working in IT to keep the call centers up.
    The call center is a crucible where the last vestiges of humanity
    are purged from our souls.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that is a good way to put it
      I'll avoid that hell pit

      Delete
  20. Try to avoid the call centres...thankfully I only had to call once and that was relatively pain free...phew

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pain free is rare
      Need a gold star at your lair

      Delete
  21. For my work if there is a problem with my computer
    I need to call a faraway land (India)
    where the techs are not always very kind
    I would rather have major surgery than
    have to call my tech support.

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha geez that must be bad
      To risk going to a germy hospital at your pad

      Delete
  22. If you must call away to India
    it's hard to understand them, I ain't kidding ya'
    And don't let them sell you a bag.
    Of goat skin it will come, looking like a hag.
    hahahahaha....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha all saggy and stuff
      With the smell of a bum in the buff

      Delete
  23. Customer service what the hey
    It will spoil a very special day
    I can't be bothered but what to do
    I'd rather fight a battle or join a coup

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A chicken coup
      Could run around a loop

      Delete
  24. I believe in your kind warning of the danger of theft from those tricky guys,
    Remote takeover is a scary, Skynet looking into my house with creepy eyes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they can get on in if let be
      And then screw over your sea

      Delete
  25. They drive me up the wall with their outsourced call

    ReplyDelete
  26. I try to avoid such calls or get someone else to do them

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is a good plan
      Get another I'm a fan

      Delete
  27. Famous last words –– soon.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2014/06/mm-celebrate-me.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. soon is a long way away
      It seems from ones bay

      Delete
  28. To work out this reply
    You have to try
    Pressing number two
    A message for you
    To press number three
    Which still wont be me
    You press option four
    To even the score
    Yell loud in the phone
    Then hear the ringtone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But i don't get to hit five?
      How will I get out alive

      Delete
  29. My favorite is how they all try to steer you to some recorded information--also known as The Island of Death. Once there, you either stew on your homicidal thoughts or call back and get in the back of the long queue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah that is sure a pain in the ass
      Do not enjoy taking such an island pass

      Delete
  30. Calling Verizon is totally like that...so glad my son is paying his own phone bill at his mat. And to let the buggers remote in surely would not be a win.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah give them a big screw you
      If a remote in ever comes due

      Delete
  31. Don't even get me started on this issue. With my computer problems lately, my husband has probably talked to every person who works a call center in India this week. I refuse to do it. They get frustrated with me, and I them. I'd rather shove a fork in my brain than call tech support.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha damn, hides the forks at your place
      Wouldn't want such an embrace

      Delete
  32. AT&T you see
    Provides our devices three:
    Cell & land phones & DSL
    But we say to them: Go straight to hell!
    They call here EVERY single day
    Even though I must say
    The Human never picks up at all
    (We thank them for ID'ing the call!)
    She hates them cause they're off their rocker
    She'd like to arrest them for being a STALKER!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha or maybe she could sue
      For all the time wasted at your zoo
      She does have to get up to look
      At the id at your nook

      Delete
  33. Oh man... why don't they get people who speak english???? I don't talk to them... can't understand much of what they say.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah such a pain in the butt
      When you can't understand at your hut

      Delete