Thursday, July 31, 2014

Nephelococcygia You Say? Pfft Easy Peasy At My Bay!

Do you think you can stump the cat at his rink? Well you can try but the cat will just poke you, figuratively, in the eye. Susan dared the cat to give the above a go. So away with it at my show.

Nephelococcygia is at play.
Are you saying what they umm hay?
This is not the A to Z,
Where we go on a weird word spree.

Hey, don`t blame me.
Blame her sea.
Know what nephelococcygia is?
Let's get on to some nephelococcygia biz.

There I see a horse.
That thing has no remorse.
It is eating Brian's mohawk.
That will make him gawk.

Look there is a dog,
It's chewing on a brown log.
Or I guess it would be white.
That is still quite the sight.

Catch my nephelococcygia trail?
Or are you ready to hit the third rail?
I suppose you'd go near them indeed,
If that were to take seed.

Look it a bird!
Oh don't be absurd.
Nope, it isn't a plane.
It is a great big train.

It even carries Tom Hanks.
It has a dragon in its ranks.
That is rather weird I'd say.
Catch on yet at your bay?

The things flames are white.
They are rather bright.
Look here comes state puff.
That is quite a bit of fluff.

And there is a boat with a cat on top.
That sure isn't a flop.
Setting sail in the sky,
With whatever takes the eye.

Now you must know,
With my rhyming flow,
What nephelococcygia is?
No? Geez next time I'll make a pop quiz.

Nephelococcygia is what you see when you look up. Like a cat or a dragon or a pup. Faces and shapes and stuff in the clouds. I guess big words need to be used to draw crowds? Now my nephelococcygia has come to pass. Damn, I'm such a good little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Tough To Swallow For The Flat And Hollow!

Wow, the cat would say it is amazing but that would just get some gazing. For it really is not. You humans always have to make up some weird plot.

Did you know at your sea,
That you are still living with the crazy?
I guess you probably did,
Unless you're one with a tin cap lid.

Flat Earthers are all around.
They can surely be found.
As they stare at the flat ground.
Kind of like a crap searching hound.

That might be an insult to the mutt.
Even they are not that much of a nut.
Flat Earthers still state the world is flat.
Everyone else is a dingbat.

The conspiracy is far and wide.
The flat Earth they are trying to hide.
They just want you to think it's round.
Did they get a lobotomy in the pound?

Then you have another group,
That are not quite a crazy troop.
At least fiction has fun with it.
But they still dwell in the crazy pit.

Hollow Earthers are here.
Have no fear.
They will save the day.
The Earth is hollowed out clay.

You can go in and find a spot,
That has a nice comfy plot.
Would that not be grand?
To live beneath a billion tons of land?

Or flip that around,
And a new hollow is found.
We are already in hollow Earth,
The universe and such is of worth.

It is the outside.
So we need to take a long ride.
We need to see what is on top.
That mission will never flop.

Which would you choose?
I mean you can't lose.
Flat Earthers fall flat,
And Hollower Earthers don't need a hat.

It will not rain in hollow earth I guess. So they can avoid such a weather mess. Unless lava flows I suppose. Then they may burn off their toes. Want to take a side? It could be a fun ride. Or maybe you want to stick around. Get it? I know, I astound. So fun the crazy theories in mass. I am sure some could even be made up by my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Movie Of The Week At My Creek!

The super hero movie has taken over. Of course that is even known by rover. So the cat has to chime in and do the best one ever at his bin.

 The treasure of inka dinka doo,
Had disappeared from view.
What would the world do?
They called in the super hero crew.

But he was blank.
He had no gas in the tank.
Must be the sheet.
Aren't those pajamas neat?

Then came four,
Who all seemed to adore.
The rock one ate them though.
That was pretty low.

If it talks like a duck,
You are in luck.
Until he came across a cat,
Then that was the end of that.

He dropped the basketball,
Now he'll get you at last call.
He swings his mighty hammer.
Is he wearing parts of the slammer?

He comes at top speed,
Helping all in need.
Just touch his magic rock.
Busted for sounding dirty with his rock stock.

They were just sent away.
Those nipples just caused dismay.
Look at those plastic things,
As bad as plastic hospital wings.

He thought it was found,
He would get a huge reward mound.
They would pay a hefty price.
Oops, it was just ice.

Thor came to play.
He was ready to join the fray.
Whoops, he has the wrong hat.
Just forget about that.

Then she came.
A fine to peep at dame.
But after one of the worst movies ever,
The world threw up and forgot their endeavor.

Now won't you be first in line for such a flick? Then at the end you can just get sick. A super hero film to top them all, right here on my wall. But if you hurl over that last lass, stay far away from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Don't Be A Robot, Shit Or Get Off The Pot!

The cat is being invaded today by a frog. What next? A hog? The thing is singing away too. Warning, some swear words may come due. What? The title gave that away? Well, okay!

Wandering through the day,
With life neatly in place.
Time to pay another bill,
Accepting the daily rat race.

Dreams stuck in a drawer,
Saved for a later date.
Expecting one day it will open,
Finding out it's far too late.

It's time to forget what you've been taught,
And just shit or get off the pot.
Time can't be stopped or caught,
So time to shit or get off the pot.

The what's, ifs and ors,
Pile up all your life.
Things never seem to come to be,
Like the constant stabbing of a knife.

If only you had this or that,
If only such an event would occur.
But the mundane is where you stay,
The lines continuing to blur.

It's time to forget what you've been taught,
And just shit or get off the pot.
Time can't be stopped or caught,
So time to shit or get off the pot.

You take comfort in others,
They are in the same boat.
A flock under one roof,
Sheep with nothing of note.

The time will come for you all,
The forbidden dream will take form.
But as each day passes you by,
You continue to live in the norm.

It's time to forget what you've been taught,
And just shit or get off the pot.
Time can't be stopped or caught,
So time to shit or get off the pot.

Subtle changes blow in the breeze,
Age begins to rear its head.
Before you know it you can't move,
And are tied to your death bed.

Break the ties, break the mold.
Let your dreams take hold.
Things will never become gold,
If on the flock you are sold.

It's time to forget what you've been taught,
And just shit or get off the pot.
Time can't be stopped or caught,
So time to shit or get off the pot.

Just forget what you've been taught,
And shit or get off the pot.

There is another tune done by the cat. It has been a while since he wore that hat. When the saying was said the other day, poof, the idea came into play. Now another tune has come to pass and thankfully I don't have to use a pot for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

A Little Chew Between Me And You!

I was asked the other day why cats chew everything at their bay. Well dogs do it too. We are just more graceful at each zoo. But why do pets chew? I guess it is my job to inform all of you.

You pay no attention,
Not even a mention.
So what are we to do,
But chew and chew.

You leave us all day,
So we make you pay.
Chew up a little of this and that.
Blame the dog, not the cat.

You bring something new,
Into our zoo.
It has a funky smell,
So we chew it to hell.

You take it away.
Pffft we say.
A challenge is grand.
No we can't stand.

You pull and yank.
We'll make you walk the plank.
A game we will win.
The chewing game isn't a sin.

Maybe it just tastes good.
Like the strings on your hood.
Ever chewed string?
The taste buds sing.

Or there is indigestion as well.
When that rings a bell,
May need the floor mat,
Or chew on your hat.

You dropped it.
The floor it hit.
Five second rule.
We win, you drool.

Then there are the toys,
They bring all joys.
We can chew those up,
So why are other things a hiccup?

We own all,
At each and every hall.
So what we want to chew we chew.
And now you have a clue.

Any other information you wish to know? The cat is available for requests at his show. You humans still will not let us chew. I guess that just means more work for you. Now I will go chew some grass, that is allowed by my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Jobs You Could Do For A Buck Or Two!

Want to earn a buck or two? Well the cat can easily help you. Although you may find it not what it is cracked up to be. Then again it could intrigue thee.

Plenty of jobs here and there,
At an online lair.
Odesk has a ton.
Let's give some a run.

Write 10,000 words.
Could be done by birds.
Easy to get some pay.
Hmm $5 pay out on display.

In need of site.
Want it done overnight.
I want it to be a hit.
$20 is all I offer for it.

Need an app made.
One that will never fade.
$10 is all for you,
To make it come due.

Comment on blogs.
Help people through fogs.
Bring them to our site.
$10 a week for helping with our plight.

A review blogger is needed.
Out the bad ones will be weeded.
Never fear though,
Winner gets $1 a review show.

Design our logo.
Beats jumping on a pogo.
You will get $3 too,
For the best you can do.

Change passport info.
I want things more in a row.
$5 for the best one.
Hmm fishy work to be done.

Add Facebook followers today!
I want ones that won't go away.
Give the fake ones to me.
$4 for a 10,000 fake spree.

Create and run a blog.
It is about a dog.
Or maybe a log.
$3 a week plus eggnog.

There you are. Now you can make some dough at your sand bar. Don't say the cat never helped you to buy a happy meal. That is quite the deal. Of course there are good ones that come to pass. If you can get them you could be richer, won't take much, than my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Make The Cut, Now What?

So the cat got an email a while ago and it was not hate mail at my show. Damn, I must be doing something wrong. I guess I need zombie feet to come on strong.

How do you start a blog?
I am a bump on a log.
I want to start a blog.
Help me through the fog.

Gave them the link,
In it did sink.
They signed up,
Like an obedient pup.

Now what do I do?
I don't have a clue.
There are things here.
They make me run in fear.

Blogger is easy as can be.
Not sure what is wrong with thee.
But laid it out with ease,
And it was a breeze.

Does it look good?
Will people come to my hood?
How do I get them to come?
I think I need some rum.

Gave a little meow,
Telling them how.
Then they were happy,
But for all of that, turns out they aren't yappy.

What can I write?
It is such a plight.
I have no clue.
Can you write for my zoo?

So not only did I create it,
Or pointed what to hit.
But now I have to write it too?
Pffft to you.

I guess I won't blog.
I will go walk the dog.
Thank you though.
Now I must go.

So now you know.
Even before ducks are in a row,
Don't assume a thing,
Make sure they know what to write at their wing.

Hmmm start a blog and do not know what to write. That is sure a scary plight. They must have thought it happened by magic. How tragic. Better luck teaching a singing bass. At least it provided a post for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

A Little Skittle Spittle!

Can you say that three times fast without putting your tongue in a cast? Is there even a cast for a tongue? Probably about as likely as popping a lung. Anyway, away we stroll. Did you know a skittle can please a troll?

Today you learn a skill,
That few truly know.
So just stand still,
And listen to my flow.

Give a troll a little,
Give a troll a lot.
As long as it's a skittle,
And nothing pokadot.

No, not peanut brittle.
No, not hot sauce.
If you want an acquittal,
Forget the reindeer moss.

It doesn't matter how.
It doesn't matter who.
No milk from a cow,
It looks too much like glue.

Lose the fancy bag,
Lose the clever grin.
He might start to gag,
When you bring the skittles in.

You need to color code,
You need to keep track,
Take an extra load,
Hide them behind your back.

Put them in his hand,
Put them in his shoe,
Forget nose land,
You'll just make him go achoo.

Click here to have a peer!

What? I did not finish it at my hut? Do I look like a dumb mutt? Want to know the end have to buy and hit send. So if a troll every comes near you, you at least know what to do. Feed it a skittle to stop its sass. No need to thank my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

We Search High And Low But Where Did It Go?

So the mouse on a string we ran off with at our wing, while Pat was away. Now we can't find it at our bay. Yes, I can open drawers with ease. I can go where ever I please.

Pat had left,
Not noticing our theft.
We had to put it back in place,
Before he checked the space.

I checked the bag.
Nothing! Not even a rag.
I did tear it up a bit.
I just had to do it.

I interrogated the fish.
But do as I wish,
He did not spill.
I ate him like a pill.

I searched the whole bed.
I took a moment to rest my head.
Even we have to stretch,
I hate playing fetch.

I searched from up high.
I was meditating on it, no lie.
Who needs eyes open to see.
Not little old me.

I saw this thing.
Cassie gave it a fling.
We both watched it go round and round.
My toy had been found.

But it would not stay still.
So I had my fill.
I stopped it using my weight.
Damn, no toy at my gate.

 I tried the tunnel thing.
I may eat it a bit like string.
But there was nothing there.
Maybe just a little cat hair.

 I took high, she took low.
The toy still did not show.
Where could it be?
Beats little old me.

 After such a hard days work,
A nap was sure a perk.
We slept all day long.
That toys hiding power was strong.

Did we find it you ask? I know you want an ending to our task. Yeah, Pat found out where it was when he saw the fuzz. I sorta, maybe ate it. I just ate a bit. Thankfully I was able to pass the mass out my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

It's Blog Land Issues, Break Out The Tissues!

Did you ever notice as you hop blogland that many seem to be a tad umm unique across the land? Many seem to have issues too. I guess that is just a thing in the blogland zoo.

You can tell,
After a spell,
Who has what,
Easy at your hut.

Like little old me,
With a touch of ocd.
Can tell who has it too.
As they hit every post at your zoo.

Even when away.
They come to play.
Much like the cat.
Who does just that.

Many think outside the box,
Even for long lost socks.
Always having a thought.
Not suffering from brain rot.

Ignore the one or two,
Who post at their zoo,
Saying they have nothing to say.
Attention seeker much at their bay?

Many have something wrong,
From worms to can't beat donkey kong.
With a need to vent,
They pitch a tent.

Many need to be like me,
Talk through another at their sea.
Four legs is usually the case.
If only we had thumbs at every place.

But above all I'd say,
Even with this or that on display,
And being a bit unique,
Sending so called normal, a good thing, up the creek,

Bloggers tend to be nicer than people in real life,
Who just want to cause strife.
Like the jerk at work,
Or the jerky jerk.

Unless one is a blog whore,
Then they may fit in jerk lore.
But as we hop around,
No doubt much fun is found.

Just some observations from the cat here at his blogland mat. See any yourself here and there as you hop from lair to lair? Now I have to go relieve some gas but that is nothing new for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, July 21, 2014

The Beer Side Of The Moon In This Cartoon!

Here we are back once more. Who keeps asking for an encore? The light hearted fools keep coming back either way, as they can never find the Bora Bora bay.

But like a loon,
They can find the moon.
As in right on it,
When Truedessa has a fit.

People are on her moon.
Yep, a true loon.
But in a good way.
Or so they say.

The beer guys are there.
Stranger than at their lair.
Dressing for Halloween maybe?
Or maybe they want people to flee?

It seems they have gone insane.
Then the man in the moon causes them pain.
They get the short end of the stick.
Or was it long? Either way, ick.

Oh where that could go.
I will just let you watch below,
As they travel to the moon,
In their next cartoon.

Now wasn't that grand? Where did the beer guys get such outfits in their land? I sure hope no diaper was truly filled. If so, I'd be less than thrilled. Hey, I learned that fact over there. It is what some programmers do at their lair. When they gotta go, they just let it flow. Rather just have gas come out my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Is Joy Simply A Ploy?

Ever notice how joy is subject to all? Of course you did at your hall. Unless you live under a rock. Then that may come as a shock. But can some things even be joy? They can't be as fun as my mouse on a string toy.

Work 80 hours a week.
It is dough you seek.
But can't spend it until you're dead.
Hmmm conundrum of dread?

Eat and eat and eat.
That is some tasty treat.
Grow the size of a tree.
Heart attack, you're dead to me.

Drive really fast,
Like the Dukes of Hazzard cast.
One little jump,
Oopsy, a crushed rump.

Drink and drink and drink.
Not the stuff from the sink.
Although that can make one shiver.
Still wave bye bye to your liver.

Buy everything you want.
Those sales just taunt.
Oopsy, broke as can be.
Goodbye house, hello tree.

Watch this and that,
24/7 at your mat.
Rump grows wider,
Death by channel spider?

Dirt, dirt and more dirt.
You would rather flirt.
That is pure gold.
Oopsy, death by mold.

Lottery tickets by the ton.
You are going to win the big one.
Hmm spent a big one,
And won nothing when done.

Dare, dare, dare.
What do you care?
Do what others say.
They aren't the ones that will drown in the bay.

Excuse, Excuse, Excuse.
Could lead to brain abuse,
Or just all of the above.
After all, do what you love.

Wow, you humans sure enjoy odd things. I would except by now you all think you have wings. One crazy spree deserves another. Did your brain get a little pillow smother? The cat would rather just eat grass. But I suppose that could choke my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

A Little dVerse At My Sea For The Three!

So the cat hasn't played in a while, can be tough to do when you are ahead by a good long mile. But had to go and rejig a few posts at my coast as dVerse gives a three years in business toast.

The cat heard a party was had,
There at the dVerse pad.
Not sure where it was,
So I followed the buzz.

Waystationone was dry.
Where was that gawker guy?
Probably Jay Walking the Moon,
Like some crazy loon.

Or climbing a Glass Stair Case.
That would be tough to embrace.
Some True Wanderings may have been had.
Unless he feel through, then too bad.

But he must liv2write2day.
I bet he even spells it that way.
Maybe in Scarlet Verses.
I know he's not afraid of curses.

Then I saw him In the Corner of My Eye.
He was gawking upon high.
Shouting something about My Daily Spirit,
And how all should fear it.

Claudia told me he was Stardreaming with Sherry Blue Sky,
And star dust got in his eye.
It really clogged his Vision up.
He was drunk with nothing in his cup.

He was going all Inside Out Poetry,
The Gawker couldn't even see.
The cat was just upset,
A new name would be needed from the pet.

I looked for reasons.
Taking in The Course of Our Seasons.
The window for help was narrow,
Like the Feathers of an Arrow.

So the cat ran away quite quick,
To a Dwelling by the Sea for a magic brick.
Let's just say the cat cured the Gawker,
From being off his rocker.

I dropped the big brick on his toes.
He shouted everything but My Tiny Throes.
And lord and behold the Gawker could see.
All was right and no new name needed to come from me.

Who knew dVerse could throw such a fun party for the cat. I got to get violent and watch the Gawker act like a dingbat. Hmmm on second thought it could have been the rum. Either way, his toes could be rather numb. The cat was just trying to help so year four would come to pass. You can't blame my brick throwing little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Round Twenty Four Take The Tour!

So they are here to give your summer some cheer, or maybe fear, either way the search engine nuts once again kick things into gear. They must like their fame and having everyone know that they are rather scary and/or lame.

"i love round ass"

My, aren't you picky. So flat ass is icky?

"i had a nickel verse speaking"

If I had a nickel,
Instead of a pickle,
I'd be in the know,
My bank account would grow.

"boobie prize"

Word to the wise, those aren't pies.

"Stuck in an elevator with music in my head"

Damn, why did you get out of bed? That has to cause dread.

"laws are meant to be poked full of holes."

But they don't use paper any more. Good luck at your shore.

"snow is my friend."

Go away! Keith, I know it is you at my bay.

"so many pretty flowers on the wall."

Hmm nope, not a one here. Are you staring at a flowery rear?

"My dog just ate my toe."

Ouch to that. But better to eat your toe than a cat.

"True wandering places I wonder."

Truedessa, did you make them wonder? Maybe their brains you decided to plunder?

"Slick shit goes two ways."

Hmmm a crap maze? Why do you gaze?

"The power of a gun in my hand."

Yep, nut jobs r us have found my land. Maybe they'll shoot off their hand.

"Easter bunny flopper."

Is that like an Easter copper? Bet it's a heart stopper.

"how many times to I have to say it....."

Maybe if you said it then you wouldn't have a question fit.

"Can I really stick it up there?"

And how did you find my lair? Take the probe and go to the fair.

Now the cat will leave you with the winner of this round. He or she can really astound. I bet they live at the pound. Maybe there this search engine query was found? Either way, they are sure to brighten your day, or scare you away, come what may.

"Scared I peed myself and washed the stain with a tongue."

Yuck and yuck some more. Think twice before a tongue gets near you at your shore. Aren't you glad you came for this search engine pass? They were all so clever that they had to impress you liked they impressed my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Top Ten In Pencil Not Pen!

It seems everywhere you go there is some list all set up in a nice neat row. The top ten things to eat. The top ten ways to clean your feet. The top ten movies this year. The top ten ways to wipe your rear. They just show and show. Let's make them eat crow.

A top ten list,
Not to be missed.
Raises your eyes,
Become more wise.

Who really cares,
If your food has hairs.
The top ten places to eat,
Beats top ten ways to wash your feet.

Maybe the feet thing would work,
If in Betsy's toe thing you lurk.
But back on point,
Toward each top ten joint.

This top ten says on thing,
That one gives another ring.
This one gives another one.
Aren't top tens fun?

Each top ten list,
That can't be missed,
Has a top ten not the same.
Each making a different top ten claim.

On the very same thing.
Like giving food a ring.
Top ten to lose weight.
All give a different plate.

When you just have to eat less, move more.
I guess top two has a bad ring at ones shore.
Have to have that top ten.
But wait! It is not written in pen.

The top ten will change.
That is not strange.
Found a new one.
Now it is a top twenty run.

Or maybe still top ten,
We got rid of the hen.
That was not tops in the first place.
A false top ten case?

People like pretty numbers,
With brains like cucumbers.
Top ten ways to top that.
Whack one over the head with a bat.

Ready to make a top ten list? You could make people pissed. They might be mad if your top ten list is different from another pad. Top ten ways to piss people off. Hmm 100's of ways to make them scoff. But the cat will save that for another pass with my top one little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

The Dumb Band Talk About Sand!

So the cat was out and about from his sea and he really had to pee. I found the big litterbox you call a beach and satisfaction was in reach. Do not worry though. I buried it good and deep at my show. Then I saw the nuts. They really have sniffed one too many butts.

"Gung, how does sand get on the beach?"

"I don't know, Ho. Maybe by some giant's reach?"

"So a giant comes and dumps sand and makes it?"

"That is my best guess. Think it is a hit?"

The two discussed a giant placing sand all across the land. They yapped and yapped, then their arms flapped. Yep, they flapped around like a bird. The two were really absurd.

"Maybe a giant with wings flapped around and turned rocks into sand?"

"Gung, that would be grand."

"Just think about a giant rock crusher in our pocket."

"We could make enough sand to build a sand rocket."

"Ho, let's get that giant and go into the sand business today!"

"Gung, that is the best idea ever, I say."

The two climbed rocks and gave Gawker type gawks. They searched high and low for a giant to show. Yep, they searched low. Maybe the meaning of giant is lost on those with a brain of a crow. Wait! Haven't we been there? No repeats at my lair.

"Gung, the rock crushing giant is nowhere to be seen."

"Maybe we need to make more of a scene?"

"Gung, I have it! Let's pretend we are giant rocks in a sand pit."

"That is a great idea, Ho. The rock crushing giant is sure to show."

Gung sat like a big boulder on the beach while Ho sat like a small one in his reach. They sat there for hours on end. They were there so long I had to repeat what brought me to this bend. I figured I could give them a wake up call. So I went by them and did not bury it at all.

"Ho, did you feel that? A giant just went splat."

"Gung, he must be hiding in the ocean and splatted us with his constant motion."

The two ran toward the water as fast as they could. I guess you cannot expect the brainless to really be understood. They splashed and swam and searched away. They did it so much they finally sank into the bay. Maybe the cat is rid of them for good? I doubt it, they will be back at my hood. I grabbed some nearby bass and wiggled home with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Bring On The Baiting To Up The Rating!

So the cat saw the other day at that other bay the dumb news on display. With no cable near here we do not have to watch that crap as it hops across the map. But it was on and there was a story and the newscasters seemed to be in all their glory.

How does it feel?
Care to spin the weather wheel?
We need to know.
Viewers need to be high not low.

What went through your mind?
Were the words mean or kind?
Do you blame anyone for this?
Come on, fess up, Miss.

Don't you see this mic?
We need the ratings to spike.
So tell all now.
People want to go wow.

Did you attempt to stop it?
Come on, elaborate a bit.
That is okay, let the tears flow,
It just makes for a better show.

What are you thankful for?
Are you glad you live by the shore?
Can you ever forget it?
That's okay, throw a fit.

Wave your arms in the air.
Make the story more rare.
Feel free to bend the truth too.
Surely more views will come due.

Could you repeat that?
You sounded kinda flat.
We can fix it in the final cut.
We will make you look like King Tut.

Don't you want your time?
Give us a great chime.
Get your 15 minutes of fame.
Everyone, everywhere will know your name.

Just let us know how you felt?
Did you die inside or did things melt?
Are you ever going to share?
Here, let me fix your hair.

Thanks for the scoop.
It will soon be on loop,
Shown 50 times a day.
What was that you had to say?

House burns down, family members disappears from town, dog gets hit by a car or you blow up a bar, they ask these dumb ass questions every time. How do they think it felt, like you are in your prime? Take the mic and whack them upside the head then repeat what they said. I bet they would say something crass. Keep the weirdo humans away from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Glitch of a Witch Scratches The Book Itch!

So here we are with another release at our sand bar. But this one is not so kiddie at our sea. This one includes all of thee. I mean a Thinkingcap Ass and a freaky Betsy half zombie lass, the kids should not read. In it, much surely takes seed.

You've got a rhyming cat,
But you knew that.
Pat, going crazy.
Who he is gets hazy.

Miss Priss all sassy.
Of course that's Cassie.
Duke Drazin the godly mook.
And enough candy to make anyone puke.

Then comes a Thinkingcap Ass,
Betsy the freaky half zombie lass.
WorqueenDan, who gets rather large.
Manzi the worm queen on a barge.

A naked ninja wannabe.
Yep, that is rather scary.
An optimistic nut.
Some beer guys in a rut.

The Irish are there.
Old One Eye gives a blue blare.
She gets birthed out an ass.
Yeah, that is rather crass.

Rosey, Terry and Theresa did it.
The three headed mutt was a hit.
Old Duckbill is there.
The Gawker and Gloria are slaves at Betsy's freaky lair.

All of that and more.
Plus the ending I never posted at my shore.
And about 20,000 words in rhyme.
That has to be a fun time.

Click here for a peer.

Ready to get into Glitch of a Witch and feel that itch? She may cast a spell on you or just hit you with Worqueendan goo. Who really knows what comes to pass? Sure, beats my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Another Few I See As They Fly Free!

The cat just can't get a nice sleep here at his keep. Always bothered by something at his sea. Now more future headlines seem to come to me. These ones are oh so great that I have to repeat such a fate.

2045: Woman trips on her shoe and dies!
I guess that brought out the flies.
2036: Car runs into deer, deer wins!
Those deer like to commit sins.

2068: Dogs forced to stop drooling!
Wow, no fooling?
3905: Dogs can drool again!
At least there was peace for a while at each den.

4035: Asteroid Olympics postponed!
I guess skills needed to be honed.
3046: Spoiled eggs cause sparkly farts.
Bet they are flying off the shelves of Wal Marts.

4024: OCD proven in humans everywhere.
That I already knew at my lair.
5298: The Earth is home to 50,000 alien cultures.
I hope none of them are spleen eating vultures.

3208: Camels become public transportation.
That has to be an aggravation.
4026: The dead can be brought back!
Oh no! It's a zombie attack.

2015: French fries kill 40,000 people this year!
Did they choke across the sphere?  
3004: Brains are cloned and replaced!
I hope they are put back in well placed.

2056: Rats outnumbers humans 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 to 1!
Damn, plenty for lunch as around they run.
3023: Trees no longer exist!
Mother nature must be pissed.

5043: Dripping water caused anxiety in alien towns!
I bet that got many alien frowns.
1: Humans can't count high any longer, time restarted!
I guess even the good cloned brain cells departed.

2048: Frogs invade small village!
Did they plunder and pillage?
4045: All politicians are now dead.
Was it off with their head?

3026: It's Rhyme Time still going strong!
Damn, I must have written more posts ahead than people in Hong Kong.
2052: X no longer a letter due to a remake of Xanadu!
The first crap time around wasn't enough for you?

There you are, plenty of things to look forward to near and far. Enjoy having posts from me for another 1000 and 12 years. I must rack up lots of cheers. Now I will go pass some non sparkly gas, unlike that Truedessa lass, out of my ever so news worthy little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

A Giant Bald Cat At Every Mat!

So there was a study a while ago that said something interesting and thought they were in the know. It said cats see their humans as a giant bald cat. Hmmmm is all I can say to that.

We look and see,
When all is set free,
Meaning no clothes,
As you strike a pose.

That you are bald,
And we aren't appalled.
Even if the size of a bear,
Or you have some curly hair.

Cats see you as a giant cat.
What do you think of that?
How would you humans know?
Are you able to mind read at your show?

Did you go all probe,
Somewhere around the frontal lobe?
That is just mean,
Invading our dreaming scene.

So let's say it is true.
What do dogs view?
You as a giant bald pup?
My, you humans are screwed up.

Shifting from person to dog to cat,
To maybe even a ding bat.
I guess you have special powers.
Can you create rain showers?

Oh no!
Rain on the go.
What if rain sees you?
Are you giant water in view?

Maybe trees think you are a moving tree?
That must stir up some jealousy.
Can a car think you are a wimpy car?
Wait! Maybe that's the drunk at the corner bar.

Maybe a kid sees you as an elf,
Like that thing you stick on a shelf.
My, you can just change.
Does it hurt a lot to rearrange?

The cat says pffft to that.
You may be bald and your feet flat,
But you still do our bidding,
The bald cat thing had to be kidding.

So what do you think? Can cats see you as the missing link? A giant bald thing as you strut around at your wing? Hmmm on that I will pass as it is too scary a thought for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, July 11, 2014

Would You Ever Do Such An Endeavor?

The cat will grill you today here at his bay. You may have to think. Uh oh, some may be brought to the brink. So if things go to pot, or not, would you do any of the below lot?

Would you defy your boss?
That doesn't need a coin toss.
Would you ever eat a person if it was the only way to stay alive?
Hey, a guy or girl has to survive.

Would you ever become a criminal at your sea?
Like going on a Robin Hood type spree.
Would you ever eat rat meat?
The cat thinks it is a tasty treat.

Would you ever skydive?
You may not survive.
Would you ever bet the farm?
Gamblers anonymous says that is an alarm.

Would you ever hop a plane and meet someone you never met?
Already done by Pat as he left the pet.
Would you ever bungee jump?
Ouch, if you land on your rump.

Would you ever paint your rooms black?
Always night time at your shack.
Would you ever walk bare naked through town?
Hey, could win the crazy crown.

How about going to a nude beach?
I hear some of those are in reach.
Would you get a divorce if a famous person wanted to marry you?
Hmmm thinking what would happen if that were true.

Would you ever be a gold digger?
Hey, nice to make your wallet bigger.
Would you ever eat bugs?
Tasty ones can be found under rugs.

Would you ever out run a cop?
Those speeding tickets must stop.
Would you ever pick up a hitchhiker?
Just tell them they should bug a biker.

Would you ever wrestle a bear?
That would be quite the affair.
Would you ever cheat?
Spouse, test, whatever is neat?

Would you ever run for some political thing?
Then all could hear you sing.
Would you ever live in the Arctic snow?
Never ever at my show.

Would you ever take a bullet for someone?
That might hurt a ton.
Would you ever rhyme 365 posts a year?
To that I can give a cheer.

Did the cat make you think? Threw in all but the kitchen sink. How can you throw a kitchen sink anyway? It would be heavy and it's attached at your bay. That is another question added to the mass. I am just an inquisitive little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Flight Means Fight?

It is no wonder you humans can't get along. Not even those that have a song, who you all look up to, can get along at their zoo. So how can you? Have I confused you at my zoo? I will fix that in no time flat.

The world is going to end!
A not so clever plot twist trend.
But even if used to death,
Leaving the hero out of breath,

It seems no one likes the other.
Maybe in their sleep they want to smother?
Still confused?
Okay, don't want you to feel abused.

Spiderman needs to stop a bid bad.
He has gone all mad.
He will destroy the Earth.
He is a bad guy of worth.

But Superman doesn't care,
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are nowhere.
The X-Men are even away,
No one wants to come out to play.

The good guys can't help.
Only one for each bad guy yelp.
The Avengers aren't allowed in.
Not even Rin Tin Tin.

Some may be busy indeed.
But The Flash has super speed.
Whoops, not allowed to help out.
Let the bystanders scream and shout.

The gargoyles just watch on,
Even when not stone before dawn.
Jack Bauer doesn't even come out to play,
Bah! He's too busy saying damn it anyway.

James Bond won't help at all.
Gotta be that split personality at his hall.
The Rescue Rangers don't heed the call,
Even if they are less than a foot tall.

Even Murder He Wrote,
Castle is not around to take note.
They just all want the world to end,
Willing to let it go around the bend.

So Spiderman is all alone.
Tarsier Man doesn't even help at the tone.
What is it with such a plight?
Oh damn! It's copyright.

Ever think where the other ones are at your bar? Even in the same universe at play. They can't always be that far away. But I guess if 50 good guys swept in all the same time for the win, might get kind of boring and leave people snoring. So they have to go it alone and no one throws them a bone. Even if they have a super case of gas. That is all from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer,

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Meaning Lost Or Just Tossed?

So the cat was out and about when Old One Eye gave a shout. It was be happy day at each and every bay. They even call it a holiday. Hmmm not off work with pay. Nope, just another day. Now with this we will play.

Let's make a day,
To join the fray.
A brand new holiday.
Come out to play.

Suck a finger day!
Place it sometime in May.
It can go hand and hand,
With Mother's day across the land.

Be glad day!
Not happy, no way!
Just be glad,
Between happy and mad.

Wait! That is wrong.
Mediocre day sings that song.
Do things half assed.
It will be a blast.

Litterbox cleaning day!
Make it a brand new tray.
Clean and spit shine.
Impress every feline.

Say no day!
Go no all the way.
Want a millionaire dollar check?
No! Leaves you in a wreck.

Smash a printer day!
Find a sunny ray,
Place the printer there,
And join in on the affair.

Stink eye everyone day!
Crazy from bay to bay.
All with a look,
You could wind up a crook.

Sing like a fish day!
Fishes sing? Umm okay!
Let's go with that.
Beats singing like a rat.

Then the best of all,
To be celebrated at every hall,
Do Nothing Day!
Ready to here that play by play?

See! The cat can do it to. I can make days up and call them a holiday at my zoo. They are just as relevant as be happy day. Like telling you that you have bills to pay. Or that it's take a dump day. You do all of that anyway. Pointless as can be at each and every sea. Maybe they just had a bad case of holiday gas? Sure beats my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

All Around They Are Found!

Did you every notice this growing trend? I guess the Internet makes things easier to send. You can sit and learn all day and/or just become one at your bay. What can you become? Let's expertly give it a little hum.

I read a book.
Wow, amazing at my nook.
I read some sites.
I can now perform last rites.

But I can do more,
Than you at my shore.
I am the best.
I am better than the rest

I am a fitness expert.
I know how to make you hurt.
I hiked some stairs.
Good shoes? Who cares?

I am an expert at talking.
I learned it well walking.
Just sit back and listen to me,
And you'll be filled with glee.

I am an expert animal mater.
Umm see you later.
I made a Zebra white and black,
Instead of a black and white attack.

I expertly confused you there.
You aren't even aware.
I am an expert at that.
I declared it at my mat.

I am an expert flyer.
I can take you higher.
That video game I mastered.
On the cement you won't be plastered.

I am an expert writer.
I can pull an all nighter.
Expertly said.
I do not need a bed.

I am an expert in giving,
I leave all living.
Get my expert run?
Yes? Expertly done.

Experts? Who needs those?
They just cause woes.
I am a guru of all.
Listen to my guru call.

I guess experts are easy to come by. Maybe I should give it a try? I am an expert rhyming cat. Hmmm guru may have a better ring at my mat. Anything you are an expert at? Maybe an expert at squashing things flat. Could be an expert at mowing grass. It is okay to admit it to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, July 7, 2014

A Little Dirt Does Not Hurt!

Pffft as a litterbox maybe. But that is it at my sea. What is it with badgering people anyway? Think all should like what they like at ones bay? Pffft once more. They can stuff their wilderness forever more.

You should come,
Bring some rum.
Sleep on the ground.
The stars can be found.

Crap in a hole.
Go for a forest stroll.
Sit around a fire,
Until time to expire.

Come pitch a tent.
Time well spent.
The ground is fine,
Good for the spine.

Eat great food,
When in the mood.
Go for a swim,
Until the lights go dim.

Climb a tree,
To see what you can see.
Nature is everywhere,
Make it your lair.

Pffft to you.
Like my flushing loo.
Sleep in the dirt?
Where animals stop to squirt.

Yeah, sounds so grand.
Could jump off land,
And swim you say?
With all the fecal matter at play.

That also sounds great.
Should be everyone's fate.
And sit around a fire,
When even your ass crack does perspire?

Why not add fuel to it.
Screw the A/C unit.
And eat crap food?
That is just rude.

If I want to sleep in the dirt,
And cause my back hurt,
I'll be reborn as a snake.
Until then, go fall in an earthquake.

The cat is delicate you say? Pffft that is okay by my bay. The wilderness can bite me. A walk or day in it is fine at my sea. But sleeping there on the ground when a house with a bed is around? Pffft to that. I would rather be a house cat. So on camping I will take a pass. You can sleep in animal squirt and swim in fecal matter for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer. 

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Some Humans Are Strange Out On The Range!

The other day the cat was out and about when some strange human gave a shout. You would think there was a psycho axe murderer on her tail with the way she was able to wail. But nope, it was just a little bug. I guess it was quite the thug. Isn't there a better way than screaming at it to go away all day?

 Grab this plastic thing,
And give it a swing.
It's as easy as that.
You screaming dingbat.

Or just give a spray,
And dead it will be at your bay.
Just don't spray your tongue.
Your bell is already rung.

Bowl it over.
Could even be done by rover.
Just have good aim,
Then you can maim.

 Swing for the fence.
Don't act dense.
Hit a home run.
That bug is done.

 Step on it with your shoe,
And if that doesn't do.
Get a bigger one,
Then drive over it for fun.

 Or go to the extreme.
Kill the bug and its whole team.
Might want to clear the place,
As you'll need lots of space.

 Or just use a big cannon on a tank.
That bug will walk the plank.
Bring the house down on it.
That will fix it with one hit.

Or as easy as can be,
Give it to a kid who's care free.
They will snack on it.
It would be a hit.

 Simply point the way,
And I'll swing by your bay.
The bug is good protein after all.
I'll eat them all at your hall.

 But the easiest of all,
Just let him have a ball.
He'll jump on it,
Or scare it to death with some fit.

See, there are much better ways to kill a tiny bug. Oh no, it is crawling on your rug. Time to scream like a nut. To that I say, cut! Kill or eat the bug and be on your way, much easier on the ears to all, I say. That last one could kill them in mass. He even frightens my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

A Rubber Room Or Magic Mushroom?

The cat was relaxing, hey, eating and meowing can be taxing, and there was a noise from above. Maybe some being was trying to send us love? It came and it went, not stopping and pitching a tent.

There came a clatter,
That didn't seem to matter.
A faint little sound,
Nothing too profound.

It came and went,
Trailing down the vent.
Not giving a peep,
Then what the bleep?

The noise was loud,
And rather proud.
Going across the ceiling,
It was an eerie feeling.

Then down it came,
Sounding the same,
Stuck in the microwave vent.
It must have got bent.

It climbed out,
Without a shout.
Trotting along,
Like nothing was wrong.

What could it be?
Are we just crazy?
Give the super a call.
Could be rats in the wall.

Comes for a look,
As I write a book.
Thinks I am rather mad,
Hearing things in my pad.

Then trot trot trot,
Becomes part of the plot.
Both could not be as mad as a hatter,
So out comes the ladder.

Nothing of note,
Aboard this boat.
Yet still a trot,
Annoys a lot.

Pull off a grate,
Hoping to avoid a Gremlin fate.
Then what should appear?
A pigeon giving a "Freedom" cheer.

All through the day we were privileged to be  host to that dumb noisy bird. People thought we were absurd. They were ready to ship us off to a rubber room or throw us in jail for taking a magic mushroom. Turns out it was a trespass. Never doubt my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, July 4, 2014

That Spark Sure Hits The Mark!

So people far and wide this week are all out looking up at their creek. And you call the cat crazy for chasing a light. You stare at them in the night. Even pollute the planet too. My, what a great human crew.

A light display,
Sparkles over the bay.
Oooo and Awwww.
Add another flaw.

Pay to go on a ride.
Sit with such pride.
Until around you whirl,
And you let loose a hurl.

Human hairball, check!
Cat tower wannabe on deck.
Light followed by masses.
Three things a cat passes.

Win a bear,
At your lair.
Maybe a pair,
Oh so rare.

Yep, rare with germs.
Could give you worms.
Did I ruin your fun?
Had to be done.

Pay to play,
At your bay.
Just to get in,
Rob the money bin.

Germs at your sea,
Stuffed things to cause glee.
Costs that abound.
Three things no cat has found.

Aliens die,
Oh me oh my.
Hmm wait!
A fiction trait.

Run around drunk,
In a big funk.
Wow, look at you go.
Did you eat crow?

Hmm that might not have been crow,
Just so you know.
Could have been crap,
Such a silly sap.

What? The cat is no fun at his hut? Pffft the cat does the fun stuff at home for free. no need to go on a spending spree. A red light is all I need and chase it at top speed. I get exercise and fun. You just stare up, get a kink in your neck and grow a pound or two on each bun. Oh the things humans do in mass are just nuts to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Things You Can Say Part One At My Bay!

A new idea struck and it could be fun with any luck. So away the cat will go and we shall see which way the wind does blow. Things are only good to say if talking about certain things at play. This you shall see, trust me.

Things you can say about your house,
Whether alone or close,
That you can't say about your wife,
Unless you want her to end your life.

That needs a trim.
Blurt it out on a whim,
Things could turn grim,
Unless pointing to a tree limb.

That is one big backyard.
Pick a card, any card.
One will leave you black and blue,
The other she will run over you.

That hallway can fit many men.
Like one or ten?
Geez, you might be out of a lair,
Or maybe she'll like to share.

It has sprung a leak.
May not be for the meek.
Could get a clean clock,
Or pitched off a dock.

I'm at a point in life where I need to downsize.
Word to the wise,
Cover your eyes,
And your umm french fry.

There is pet hair everywhere.
What do you care?
Just pet it,
To avoid a fit.

The garden is withering.
Things may not go slithering,
You may get a trip,
To the big snip snip.

There are too many steps to the top,
May end up in a flop.
You may get beat with a mop,
Or a stove pot top.

That frame is rather wide.
Ooops, you died.
Should have stayed quiet,
Instead of inciting a riot.

So the cat has helped you out once more. Now be sure and add house to such sayings at your shore. You might wish to point too, just in case she second guesses you. Now I will go roll in the grass with my ever so fun little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Forget Ice Cream, Get A Theme!

Want a tip on how not to be insecure at your lair? Well just sit back and stare. Yeah, being crazy helps a ton. But that I have already given a run.

Don't pucker those lips,
Shake those hips.
Don't clench your ass,
Shake that mass.

Twerk and you die,
Sorry, don't cry.
On with the show,
About the flow.

If Tarsier Man,
That flash in the pan,
Can have one too.
Then so can you.

Even the cat,
Has one at his mat.
Just up to the left.
Sorry, no theft.

Made you look.
On the right at my nook.
Talking about a theme.
A steady fun stream.

Whenever you go,
Hang your head low,
Poor pitiful me,
You lost your glee,

Just play your tune,
Bounce like a baboon.
Shake that moon,
Just be a loon.

Don't grab a cat,
We hate that.
Humans can prance,
We'll just give a wtf glance.

So make up a theme,
Forget the ice cream.
Have a tune all your own,
With its unique tone.

Then give it a play,
When down at your bay.
Be famous like Spider Man.
Could even get a groupie clan.

Now was that not better advice than Drazin? He has the mind of a raisin. So forget that so called god. You are better off kissing a cod. Make your own little diddy and dance about. Groupies may give it a shout. Then you can be better than a singing bass. No need to thank my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Some Loonie Play For Canada Day!

So for today at my bay instead of singing that annoying O Canada song and be bored to death before long, the cat figures some facts could come due. Canada has facts? Who knew?

Come near, come far,
By plane, train or car,
Just let it rip,
And have a fun trip.

Go to Winnepeg for a spell.
I here it's fun as hell.
You can see more snakes there,
Than in any other lair.

Our money is funny,
Even down where its sunny.
But the ink for the US green,
Was created at a Montreal scene.

We don't just fish.
Could get an iceberg on your dish.
Yep, harvesting icebergs is fun.
I hear we harvest a ton.

My fears are validated,
For it may be gated,
But we built the world's first UFO landing pad.
Butt plugs must have sold like mad.

We have the safest roads for wildlife.
Unless they really want strife.
Build bridges for them to get to the other side.
See, now chickens don't have to hide.

A park in Alberta somewhere,
Is bigger than many a lair.
It is bigger than all of Switzerland too.
I wonder if they have a clue?

Err umm okay.
The drunks must be at play.
For we have bathtub races too.
Why? I have no clue.

Also have the canoe capital of the world.
I guess bathtubs don't want to be twirled.
So canoe it is.
This is starting to fizz.

Oh wait! There is one more.
The best thing ever at our shore.
The world's first outhouse museum is here.
Sadly, it is even near.

Not that the cat cares about such country boasting crap, but I figured I would give it a lap. Where else can aliens and bathtub races take place? At least the drunks get their full thought embrace. Now I will walk across a safe overpass, shaking my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.