Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Bring On The Baiting To Up The Rating!

So the cat saw the other day at that other bay the dumb news on display. With no cable near here we do not have to watch that crap as it hops across the map. But it was on and there was a story and the newscasters seemed to be in all their glory.

How does it feel?
Care to spin the weather wheel?
We need to know.
Viewers need to be high not low.

What went through your mind?
Were the words mean or kind?
Do you blame anyone for this?
Come on, fess up, Miss.

Don't you see this mic?
We need the ratings to spike.
So tell all now.
People want to go wow.

Did you attempt to stop it?
Come on, elaborate a bit.
That is okay, let the tears flow,
It just makes for a better show.

What are you thankful for?
Are you glad you live by the shore?
Can you ever forget it?
That's okay, throw a fit.

Wave your arms in the air.
Make the story more rare.
Feel free to bend the truth too.
Surely more views will come due.

Could you repeat that?
You sounded kinda flat.
We can fix it in the final cut.
We will make you look like King Tut.

Don't you want your time?
Give us a great chime.
Get your 15 minutes of fame.
Everyone, everywhere will know your name.

Just let us know how you felt?
Did you die inside or did things melt?
Are you ever going to share?
Here, let me fix your hair.

Thanks for the scoop.
It will soon be on loop,
Shown 50 times a day.
What was that you had to say?

House burns down, family members disappears from town, dog gets hit by a car or you blow up a bar, they ask these dumb ass questions every time. How do they think it felt, like you are in your prime? Take the mic and whack them upside the head then repeat what they said. I bet they would say something crass. Keep the weirdo humans away from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

75 comments:

  1. Whenever there's a tragedy, there's some idiot reporter shoving a microphone in victim's face. Like the reporters who run up the to losing team after the Super Bowl. How do they feel? Like total crap, guys.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, stupid idiots ask dumb questions every time
      Trying to get on prime time about losers in sports or crime

      Delete
  2. ...And what to my wond'ring eye did appear,
    But a rude reporter being booted in the rear.
    At the risk of sounding callow,
    Most tv reporters appear mighty shallow!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That they do
      So their ass meets your shoe

      Delete
  3. 'Thanks for the scoop',do they really acknowledge?
    They would rather fight insisting it's their privilege
    Next to car repossessers
    We now include reporters
    Adept in getting all they want without giving face

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha repo people are bad too
      But then you didn't pay at your zoo
      So they have to get you
      Reporters just want to watch you turn blue

      Delete
  4. Boring boring boring news
    Makes one want to take a snooze
    Who has the time, who really cares
    Maybe Goldy and the bears
    Go live life it's very short
    Spend some time in every port

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Every port would cost a ton
      Unless you walk under the sun
      Then you'd be dead
      With Goldy in your bed

      Delete
  5. I went to college to be a TV reporter and even worked at the campus TV station as a reporter and anchor. I'm too much of an introvert for that career. I never like bothering people! I freelance as a reporter/writer now and I always turn down jobs that require me to interview people unless I can do it through email. I'm just finally accepting the fact I'm not a people person!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not a people person isn't bad
      More time for you at your pad
      Ignore the rest of the crap
      All across the map

      Delete
  6. everyone needs a sound bite, and eye witness account to what it all amounts to, that is the news for you, funny i am watching the news on tv for the first time in a long time this morning...really i just wanted to see the weather everything else, whatever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the cat was in tune with your shore
      When he wrote this months ago or more

      Delete
  7. We need to witness each other lives
    well, we are the creatures who like to socialize...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not me
      Fine being a hermit at my sea

      Delete
    2. Me to Cat. The older I get the more reclusive I am. Not a big fan of other people or their drama.

      Delete
    3. Yep, other people just annoy me
      So stay at home at my sea

      Delete
  8. Some of those dumb questions drive us crazy, but then again, it's a short trip!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Short trip to crazy land
      That can be grand

      Delete
  9. Those news people do ask really dumb questions but why did that poor soul agree to be on TV. Nuts is what it is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 15 minutes of fame
      So they can have such a claim

      Delete
  10. We've go more rain today, I wish the weather man would change his tune so we could go out to play. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rain everywhere
      Still here also at my lair

      Delete
  11. I think they need to respect people's privacy
    at times when things are going bad
    and not think they are entitled to be able to talk to them
    when they might be feeling sad.

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, they need to but will not
      They have to know the plot

      Delete
  12. Rarely watch the news
    Far too depressing
    Badly phrased questions
    Rest... window dressing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't even have cable
      So I don't bother with their fable

      Delete
  13. There are no more journalists, there are only reporters. And reporters are hired for their looks, not their intelligence to investigate a story and write good copy. Can you imagine Walter Cronkite sticking a microphone in the face of a grieving family and asking "how does it feel?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah airheads on the air
      That is all they are by the pair

      Delete
  14. Ugh! The stuff they think is "news". And then the way the anchors act all chummy. Yuck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yuck is the right word
      Completely absurd

      Delete
  15. Sensational post! Yes, that was punny.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I hate watching the news. One, it's always depressing. Two, it's usually crap. And three, the news anchors irritate me. I only tune in to check the weather report.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One two and three
      All agreed upon at my sea

      Delete
  17. There's a reason I walked away
    From the news career I did stray
    Couldn't stomach the ratings glory
    Couldn't do one more bogus story
    Now I write for me if that's what I feel
    Or share a bunch of photos with grand appeal
    This life is the one I yearn to thrive
    The newshound stage I did survive

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is the way to be
      Write only for thee
      Screw the rest
      Who needs to be the best

      Delete
  18. Yep. The news is the same-old-same-old rerun fifty thousand times.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On 50 different channels too
      They all have a loose screw

      Delete
  19. ugh...it's bad enough when something bad happens and reporters with silly questions make everything worse...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That they do
      Wanting the story from you

      Delete
  20. orlin N cassie; de food serviss gurl said Don Henley summed it up best with hiz song... Dirty Laundry...we dont watch de tee N vee any more N hasnt in like two yeerz....trooth....

    ReplyDelete
  21. Im agree with the "news" and they aren´t news lol
    And what you say about all they repeat,???
    and the news make me sad, true!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The repeat the same crap
      On a loop or lap

      Delete
  22. And they always seem to interview the most idiotic people they can find.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Normal people run away
      And don't want to be on display

      Delete
  23. Very little in the way of journalistic integrity remains nowadays...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not much at all
      As they give a question call

      Delete
  24. I don't watch TV that much actually only when there is an important event or news ~ I can't stand the slow pace & the repetitive questions which grates on my nerves ~ Hey Pat, have a good week ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that crap just makes me want to biff something at it
      So I ignore it, every bit

      Delete
  25. My local stations are the worst. They don't show much news, just stupid stuff for even worse people to comment on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha sounds like something to avoid
      Even for the paranoid

      Delete
  26. Please don't get me going on the news
    as it sometimes brings on the blues
    Live news at 5:00, 6:00 and seven
    same story brought to you again at eleven

    I like to tune in to watch the weather
    wonder if mother nature will hold it together..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, same old crap here and there
      As they fix their hair
      Weather I look at online
      So no need for any of it for the feline

      Delete
  27. They say the same thing over and over again

    ReplyDelete
  28. I don't even watch that nonsense anymore

    ReplyDelete
  29. 'Take the mic and whack them upside the head'....heh heh I like it:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha might get sued
      But they are being rude

      Delete
  30. Ah that cliché question,
    how do you feel,
    to get ratings sensation
    and mass appeal

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just flip the bird
      And don't say a single word

      Delete
  31. The news can certainly accentuate the difference between fear of crime and the actual amount of crime. The message after the evening news--lock yourself in your home and never leave.

    Why did your "take the mic and whack…" have me thinking the piñata song" "Take a stick and whack it, be the one to crack it, the pinata's treasure, candy for your pleasure!" Wow, there is my rhyme contribution--lame at that too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha well now all can sing along
      As you contribute with a song
      Yep, fear they thrive on
      From dusk to dawn

      Delete
  32. I don't watch the news much anymore. I just prefer to read up on articles here and there online. That way I can avoid those floozy reporters.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A much easier way
      To get it at your bay

      Delete
  33. I don't watch any news. If I hear anything newsworthy it is from my Hubs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Easy way to do it
      Cut out the umm shit

      Delete