Sunday, July 6, 2014

Some Humans Are Strange Out On The Range!

The other day the cat was out and about when some strange human gave a shout. You would think there was a psycho axe murderer on her tail with the way she was able to wail. But nope, it was just a little bug. I guess it was quite the thug. Isn't there a better way than screaming at it to go away all day?


 Grab this plastic thing,
And give it a swing.
It's as easy as that.
You screaming dingbat.


Or just give a spray,
And dead it will be at your bay.
Just don't spray your tongue.
Your bell is already rung.


Bowl it over.
Could even be done by rover.
Just have good aim,
Then you can maim.


 Swing for the fence.
Don't act dense.
Hit a home run.
That bug is done.


 Step on it with your shoe,
And if that doesn't do.
Get a bigger one,
Then drive over it for fun.


 Or go to the extreme.
Kill the bug and its whole team.
Might want to clear the place,
As you'll need lots of space.


 Or just use a big cannon on a tank.
That bug will walk the plank.
Bring the house down on it.
That will fix it with one hit.


Or as easy as can be,
Give it to a kid who's care free.
They will snack on it.
It would be a hit.


 Simply point the way,
And I'll swing by your bay.
The bug is good protein after all.
I'll eat them all at your hall.


 But the easiest of all,
Just let him have a ball.
He'll jump on it,
Or scare it to death with some fit.

See, there are much better ways to kill a tiny bug. Oh no, it is crawling on your rug. Time to scream like a nut. To that I say, cut! Kill or eat the bug and be on your way, much easier on the ears to all, I say. That last one could kill them in mass. He even frightens my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

80 comments:

  1. Isn't there a better way than screaming?
    For a little bug that is causing all the din
    Just give it the spray
    It'll not move it'll stay
    Killing an insect, a pest will not be a sin

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah just spray away
      And save my ears the dismay

      Delete
  2. No screaming nor spray, just hit it with a good aim ~

    That shoe car looks pretty cool & fun ~

    Have a good Sunday Pat ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just give it a smack
      Beats a screaming attack

      Delete
  3. Didn't need to see the kid eating one...
    However, I would like to drive that tank to work. Or at the very least have the machine guns on the hood of my car.
    Ever see someone get into a bee's nest from a distance? You're too far away to see the bees, so it just looks like he's having a spaz attack.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha good protein for the kid though
      Going all death race at your show?
      And yeah seen it and been on the receiving end
      Not a fun trend

      Delete
  4. HA! The bugs don't last long with seven kitties in the house!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They take care of that
      Eating or playing them to death, stat

      Delete
  5. If I didn't have a dog that treats cats like wrestling opponents (she seriously lost a cat friend who stopped coming over to see her when she grew from puppy to adult) I wish I had one.

    We demolished an old storage building so the insects that live under it starting to invade other places.

    Bugs and fish, cats can't resist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well some cats like wrestling about
      Of course a big dog may make them pout
      Cats will take out the bugs
      Like they are thugs

      Delete
  6. Well that certainly is a whole bunch of solutions for a bug but we have our kitty, Two Two whose job it is to take care of all bugs that come in the house and she does such a good job. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She eats them as a treat
      Or makes them hit the street

      Delete
  7. A couple of weekends ago we were at a friend's house watching the game (soccer) and the guy broke out his new toy... a zap it thing that stunned and killed the fly in the house. The grown men were like kids again w/that thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rosey
      Someone else was posting about that zapper thing. I think I'd like one for as much as I hate bugs. Yuck to the bugs, I'd rather garden with the slugs.

      Delete
    2. haha a zapper thing sounds grand
      I'd play with it too in my land

      Delete
    3. That zapper thing turned men into little boys, and I kid you not. Even the kids (and there were five of them there including my two) thought the dads were being oh so silly. And they were. ;)

      Delete
    4. I could use one of those... to ZAP! my hump happy neighbor. ZAP!

      Delete
    5. hahaha when the kids think it
      You know they are silly by more than a bit

      Delete
  8. Ideas abound for a bug on a stick
    I'd make them into a candle wick
    From creepy crawlers one can never be free
    Down the chimney they fall from a big tall tree
    I'd swim the Atlantic looking for shelter
    Than live in the south with the bugs and swelter
    I love the short summers, it's all right with me
    In the winters bugs freeze and I can go ski

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha at least the cold
      Can make the bugs fold
      That is sure a plus
      As they all board a bus
      To some where far away
      And go bug another bay

      Delete
  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh, a blooper came due
      sorry to say it is true..

      Stomping on bugs in a giant shoe
      taking it to extreme who would've knew
      looks like some crazy driving fun.
      might be easier with the raid gun..
      I'm sure the cats would make them run

      Delete
    2. You went bloop
      And missed the hoop
      Geez such a shame
      Could have won the game haha

      Raid would be easy as can be
      But then as calling on the kitty
      Cat ate a house fly today
      Chased it down and made it pay

      Delete
    3. haha..my favorite pic is the one of Orlin

      Delete
    4. That is how he looked today
      As I came in to him attacking the house fly at our bay

      Delete
    5. Did she make a mistake
      At your lake?

      Delete
    6. That she did
      Maybe she has 8 arms like a squid

      Delete
  10. I try to live and let live
    and not to squash too much
    unless it is heading my way
    and wants to have me for lunch

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Must be one big bug though
      To have you for lunch at your show

      Delete
  11. omg. that kid eating the spider, good lord...ha...
    hope it was cooked at least, take a flame thrower
    to the beast, damn the house, we'll burn it out
    or nuke the place, we'll destroy his whole race

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha but the cockroach will still win
      No matter what you use at your bin
      Nuke all and it will still crawl away
      Good protein for the kid on display

      Delete
  12. Or you could hoover them up/and chuck them in the tub/a dust and pan I hear it's fine/if you, like me, are that way inclined. :-)

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cats hate the hoover though
      They run when it gives a blow

      Delete
  13. I let Schultz eat the bugs. He seems to like them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good protein for him
      As he chows down on a whim

      Delete
  14. That is one giant shoe. Could kill a whole ant hill with that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Easy as can be
      Crush ants and make them flee

      Delete
  15. That last one will scare them to death

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They all roll over and die
      Sure no one will cry

      Delete
  16. That's what I call a shoe
    Perfect size for stepping in some dino poo
    That kid must be hunry alright
    I'd rather eat a shoe in the middle of the night
    Or a bat in heat
    With stinky feet

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm a bat in heat
      I'd rather eat concrete
      You can have the bat
      Hope it doesn't make you fat

      Delete
    2. Well, maybe a wooden bat
      We could chew on that

      Delete
    3. Might hurt the teeth though
      and to the nasty dentist you may have to go

      Delete
    4. Good point
      Don't wanna go to that joint
      It would cost me a mill
      When they give me the bill

      Delete
    5. Yeah one little prick
      They can charge $1000 some quick

      Delete
  17. For me I'd go with the big tank with a massive gun,
    Spiders are scary and bugs are just no fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha all that cost to kill them though
      When you could just crush them against the window

      Delete
  18. I scream like a nut for sure. Then I call my new cadaver dog who will eat bugs dead or alive. One of my cats (who was obese) could jump three feet in the air and catch flies. How handy was that? Handy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha a fat cat can jump when in need
      Just needs something worthy of the deed

      Delete
  19. So Orlin takes the orders?
    Good idea might work!
    Help the significant others
    with those bugs' firework!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Orlin will catch and eat
      Helping all while getting a treat

      Delete
  20. Funny. Cat would be proud of the two feline brothers here. They are all into bug chasing--especially fly swatting. I don't even need to look for our swatter now, as the 2 hunters are on the job 24/7.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha saves you time and effort and keeps them amused
      The poor flies must feel so abused

      Delete
  21. I have a cat, Frank, who is my main bug catcher. He is badass. :o)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad he can do it with ease
      Catching them must be a breeze

      Delete
  22. As soon as I saw the Raid
    I knew what was going to be said.
    What an impression I've made
    on those who thought my tongue was dead!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that will never be let go
      Once you let it slip at your show

      Delete
  23. Unless it's a house fly
    Give it a try
    Fly the size of your house
    Walloped by a fifty foot mouse

    ReplyDelete
  24. The kid eating the spider makes my stomach turn
    I hate bugs, but since my dogs wouldn't kill them for me, I must do it myself.
    Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha geez the dogs would do it?
      I guess they are scardy dogs at your pit

      Delete
  25. they will live as long as they are not near or on my bed...otherwise I will go smash smash bugs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In the bed and they are dead
      Is it off with their head

      Delete
  26. I usually just let them be, but if they get too near to me
    A warrior cry I will yell, as I smash them to bits sending them straight to hell.

    I haven't forgotten our last verse. I am just so far behind on emails. I will get to that tomorrow for you :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha go all Xena at your sea
      And crush the bugs beneath thee

      Delete
  27. How did you know what's going on at my house? Thanks for all the tips. I'll definitely be raising the warfare level on the bugs at my bay.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad i could help out
      With my bug shout

      Delete
  28. Yep, I do a lot of high steppin on bugs when I see them. If I see a snake, I will even do a dance and almost pee my pants.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, know your fear
      Hopefully no snakes are near

      Delete
  29. Guess I'm in the minority
    Bugs aren't my priority
    I catch them alive
    And release them outside

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is easy to do
      The cats eat what are in view

      Delete