Sunday, August 31, 2014

A Little Twist That Can't Be Missed!

So why not get your tongue in a twist today here at my bay? No objections? Okay! The cat will now take it away.

Wrists wrap wrists with wrappers to wrist wrap wrists.
Wow, wrapped wrists must make fists.
Toes take trots to toe toe town today to toe time.
Piggies must think that is just a crime.

Rabbits riot rotten rodents raw ripe rears.
That will be added to all fears.
Buying big bad beetleborgs bring big bad bugs.
Yeah, I ripped off the beetle thugs.

Buy bugs big bad beetleborgs behind buy buys.
Wait! Is that the same? Lies!
Eat every eats eaten.
Had to leave one that could be beaten.

Faint for figures from figures finding figures found.
That must really friggin astound.
Whoopdi whoops wow whoopers winging whoopdi whoops.
That must awe all the rhyming troops.

Sick sickos slide slick slowly sickos showing shows.
I guess that is how it goes.
Comedy comics come crowing comedy crows.
I guess that is just umm who knows.

Great gonging gongs go gonging.
No gongs can leave you longing.
City cops cop core criminals copping cops.
That has to be some flops.

Tonight true truth tries to time truth that's too true.
True truth? Who knew?
Little long limos like limos long.
I guess limos come on strong.

Watch watchers watching watchers with watches.
Might need a few scotches.
Sour systems sense sour systems sweetly sour.
I guess it is that kind of hour.

Flies fly for flight flying fly flies.
A rat in disguise.
Do dogs drown dogs drowning dogs doing dogs?
Hmmm stick with brown logs.

Screens saw screens screening screens screwing screens.
Hmmm something dirty for teens?
Rhyming rhymers rhyme right rhymes rhyming rhymes right.
That is one that works for my site.

There you go. Did your tongue go high and low? Can you say each three times fast? Hopefully your tongue is not in a cast. They may all cause gas. You were warned by my tongue twisting little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Where It Could Go With An Evolving Flow!

So the cat will tangle with old Darwin today. What else do I have to do at my bay? I could eat a little hay. But that might cause my digestion dismay. Maybe a past version of the cat needed the hay for this and that.

Humans were small,
Humans were wimpy.
Not even the size of a ball,
They were really shrimpy.

Then along comes this,
Along comes that.
Science is bliss,
Not to the cat.

They grow into an ape,
They even have a tail.
With a brain like a grape,
Could be an epic fail.

Isn't a fail a fail?
Epic is a strong word.
What is that you wail?
Okay, on with it, you turd.

They get a club,
They get some meat.
What's up bub,
They do the caveman beat.

Then they wear clothes,
Thankful for that.
Could cause eyes woes,
To this poor cat.

Now here we are,
Fighting from afar.
Which is still on par,
With every past sand bar.

Maybe backwards it will be,
Humans turn to paste.
Shrimpy from sea to sea,
What a waste.

At least the cockroaches will be happy,
They will dance a jig.
Maybe they'll eat Flappy,
Then they'd grow awful big.

Or maybe they won't terminate,
Instead add mechanical parts.
That would be an interesting fate,
A machine with a heart.

That is where the cat's thoughts roamed today. Well actually months ago at my bay. But what they heck, good to have another on deck. Now I will evolve my sass, right, not likely from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, August 29, 2014

Animals On Display With Secrets At Play!

Did you know animals are strange too? I go after humans all the time at my zoo. But animals sure have some weird acts as well, except for cats wherever we dwell.

A bear in the woods,
Really likes hoods.
Put one on its head,
And it will sleep in your bed.

A duck likes to quack,
But go on the attack.
And it will spit,
What? They can do it.

A beaver on the loose,
Will go after a goose.
It wants to goose the goose.
Easier than a moose.

A dog in a park,
May very well bark.
But when it leaves a mark,
Another animal gets a spark.

The hyena comes to play,
To every animals dismay.
For it likes the smell so much,
Every animals nose it wants to touch.

The anteater is grand.
It stretches out across the land.
But what that really means is,
It wants to give you an ant math quiz.

The birds chirp and fly,
Until a cat makes them die.
Why do that though?
Because they want to be an egg again, I know.

Pigs want to fly,
They also want to die.
For to prove the saying right,
To Heaven they want to take flight.

A cow is just absurd,
Eats things twice in every herd.
Tastes better the second time?
I guess it makes ribs prime.

A horse gets horny,
When it sees something thorny.
Rhinos beware,
When you see their stare.

There is some inside scoop. The cat just wanted to keep you in the loop. Just look at those birds wanting to be turned to turds. I guess an egg shape could come due if you really try at your zoo. Then their wish will come to pass all thanks to those like my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Did You Know This And That At Your Mat?

So a little did you know for all today at my hall. Warning though, some of it is nasty that I give a go. But at least I give you tips, may save those hips.

Cashews are great,
Eat them by the plate.
But did you know,
They can make you itch down below?

As in your ass crack?
Yep, such an itch attack.
If not processed right,
Like eating poison ivy at your site.

Jellybeans for you?
Mmmm yummy at your zoo.
Chow down all day.
Time for dismay.

Their shiny coat,
Has your vote,
It's made from bug crap.
Shiny apples too take such a lap.

Drink dispensers are great.
Fast and a cheap rate.
At least most times,
Some have high fee crimes.

But don't dismay,
It gets worse studies say.
50% of them are great,
The other 50% contaminated with fecal bacteria is their fate.

Wine is great too.
Get drunk at your zoo.
Well many don't any longer,
A few come on stronger.

They stomp the wine,
Nasty to the ocd of the feline,
With their bare feet.
Foot fungus wine, a tasty treat.

Ready to chow down on your meat?
Another tasty treat.
Pink slime, mechanically separated meat,
Your mouth can meet and greet.

Treated with ammonia it is,
The stuff from the cleaning product biz.
But never fear at your sea,
It can only be used as 15% filler with no labeling for thee.

Don't you want to go chow down now? Itchy ass cracks and foot fungus wine must really wow. Good luck getting that out of your head. At least you aren't like the meat and dead. That should suffice more than gas, at least to many who aren't my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Instead Of That Do This! You Can't Miss!

Would it not be interesting to do the opposite of what you usually do just to see what happens at your zoo? But what opposite would that be? There could be many opposites at ones sea. At least for some things while others just hide away in the wings.

Instead of sitting, stand.
Better for your back at your land.
Or so they say.
Another opposite is to lay.

Instead of going to work,
Call in sick with a smirk.
Jump a boat to Timbuktu.
We may never again see you.

Instead of no say yes.
Could leave you in a mess.
But instead of yes say no.
Then it evens out at your show.

Instead of being nice,
Tell all what you think with spice.
You may get a fist to the face,
Or maybe a nice embrace.

Instead of driving away,
Walk at your bay.
Get some exercise too.
I hear that's good for you.

Instead of a kiss give a lick.
Okay, that may be kinda sick.
But it is another affection way.
Dogs do it, ummm okay.

Instead of talking out your butt,
Listen at your hut.
That might be a better skill.
But talking out your butt could thrill.

Instead of whining, do.
Too bad many believe it to be untrue.
Whine, whine and whine some more.
Just get it over with at your shore.

Instead of looking down, look up.
A new view with face out of a cup.
Or cell phone and texting fluff.
I know, cause for a huff and puff.

Instead of sleeping in bed,
Dance the night away causing neighbors dread.
Hmmm okay, maybe not,
Sleep the cat needs a whole lot.

Nine out of ten is not bad here at my pad. Or maybe just eight, licking like a mutt might not be a good fate. Now that cat has made you think or just brought you to the brink. Either way I can still give sass with my ever so opposite little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Whoopdi Friggin Doo Sticks It To You!

Robbie Raisin is back and ready to show all at the Whoopdi Friggin Doo shack, how to stick it to all. Sort of like gum to a wall. So here we are today. What do you have to say? This is a stick up. Give your best retort and don't hiccup.

Hank, how would you stick it to all at your hall?

Without a break # 47
Gates of heaven!

Break 47 bones. That will get moans. R, what about you? More words than two?

Nice try!

I guess not. He must suffer from brain rot. So Grumpy Goo, turn them blue.

I was not amused at all
Almost ready to fall

You will fall on them you say? That would make them pay. Ninja wannabe, stick it to all from sea to sea.

I just featured you! It would look bad...

I checked, you lie. No whoopdi friggin doo cry.  Truedessa stick it to those who strike a snarky pose.

I think the cat likes to play trick, a bit of a brat

Ummm cat on the brain? Want a candy cane? Claudia are you ready to stick it, come on, just a bit!

oh dang it!!

Can't even say damn? Do you like spam? WorqueenDan, stick to each fan.

The cat needs skinned, that's for sure
Take away your ability to purr!

Sorry, no taxidermy here. What a weird cheer. Keith with the long name, make stick it fame.

You can never stop blogging
If you do, you'll receive a flogging  

Hmm a flogging you say, is that like drowning in a litter tray? Manzanita, it is your turn, bring the burn.

You scared your readers half to death
They thought you started taking meth

No druggies allowed. Bet your worms are proud. Betsy, can you speak and send all up the creek?

Rolled my eyes the whole way through
and thought, 'this is a bunch of doo-doo.'

You have crap on the brain? I hope it doesn't rain. Betty, stick it to the petty.

I would even have given you a dime!

Money for me? How nice of thee. Teresa Powell Coltrin, tell all today where to stick it at your bay.

Ooooooooooh, I WILL get you back!!!!! :) 

Hmmm say it scary and things may get hairy. Oui Oui, stick it to ever cat tree with glee.

Thanks for all the help trashing the house! 

Hmm okay, nod and agree I say.  Rosey, let all have it. Don't hold back a bit.

What a braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!! Oh my gosh, you need your behind kicked a good swift kick or two. I totally fell for it and was thinking, 'no way, not the cat!!' grrr.. I wish I had a dog right now.

Someone has anger issues. Need some tissues?  Anne, can you top that at your mat?

A feckless bastard
you are for
treating us like retards.

Say what you really feel. What is her deal?  Mary Kirkland, time to play. Have your say.

Someone should spank your little rhyming ass

Frisky at your sea? Whatever gives you glee.  Tabbies o trout towne, who still can't spell, raise a little hell.

pay bax a bitch

I think that will come through. You and Anne should form a crew, Robyn, do you have a potty mouth as well? Come now, do tell.

That wasn't nice at your bay

So polite, no wonder celibacy is still in sight. Was that a low blow? Brian, take it away with your flow.

grrr...i was like wtf
then suck

Do you growl like a bear? That may make people stare. I think Brian scared all away. No longer do any want to play. What? It was his smell? I guess he can raise a little hell. Nose hair hell is the same. Bears aren't tame. That is all for today. Tune in next time to Whoopdi Friggin Doo to play.


You all sure stuck it to something. Not sure what at my wing. Maybe you should stick to sticking gum to the wall. Unless you are potty mouth Anne at your hall. But then she is full of gas, which is well known to all, including my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer. 

Monday, August 25, 2014

Wink, Wink You Stink!

Ever come across a stinky person at your sea? Of course that is a dumb question from me. If you have not than you live under a rock. Anyway, they can sure cause shock. The cat would flat out say. But I have been told you need to go the more tactful way.

Smell that air.
Fresh and rare.
Stop and stare.
Did in walk a bear?

Insult to bears.
But who cares?
Get some nose plugs.
Can't blame pugs.

Now what do to?
Can't just go ewww.
Creative with stink.
Before you hit the brink.

Grab a kid.
Let them flip their lid.
Kids say the darnest things.
They'll say stink rings.

Put your shirt over your nose.
Now strike a fancy pose.
Wave that hand too.
Could look strange at your zoo.

Say that person really stinks,
Pointing and giving a few winks.
But say it to the stinky person about another stinky one.
Hey, sometimes have to use gossip to get things done.

Give them a gift.
Run in quite swift.
Drop it when they are away.
Deodorant on display.

Hold your breath.
Let them know they bring death.
Then yell fresh air,
When they leave your lair.

Get a water gun,
Fill it with mouthwash for fun.
Then whenever they flap,
Spray it into their yap.

Or just go umm duck it.
Put a bunch of water in a bucket.
Carry to where they are,
Then dump it over them with a "you stink" har har.

Now you have some good tips from the cat to take care of stinky people at your mat. I do not mean a fart here and there. I mean those that burn your nose hair. They do it all day long. They come on strong. Whether stinky lad or overly scent drenched stinky lass, keep them away from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

It's A Mad Mad Mad Pad!

Ever notice how there are so many words for one thing? You humans do like to express yourselves at every wing. It just makes the cat...well we will get to that.

A bad day,
At your bay.
You aren't happy,
And not sappy.

You are mad,
At your pad.
Mad as hell.
Oh well!

You aren't pissed.
Oh! Add that to the list?
You aren't ticked.
That one was picked?

You aren't upset.
That is a safe bet?
My, testy aren't you?
Oh, that one too?

Peevish you are.
I like that one by far.
Crabby as well?
Aren't you swell.

You must just be irate.
Such a sad fate.
Shout it on Twitter,
Tell all you're bitter.

Go for it crank pot.
You will be so hot.
What? Rather I say cranky?
Do you need a hanky?

You are getting rather cross.
Maybe you need to floss?
Now you are in a huff?
Maybe you need a fluff and buff?

Oh sit there and stew.
Wow, you are turning blue.
Isn't that supposed to be red?
Am I hurting your head?

Be nice while mad,
Here at my pad.
Okay, just a tad.
Displeasure is had.

You humans are mad and not in a good way at your pad. Even mad means different things. Like a phone with different rings. No wonder you can't make up your minds class. Sure beats my mad mad mad little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

A Little Work Out Shout!

So with Pat working out every day at our sea, a lot of them are, sadly, viewed by me. You humans are strange. But we already went there at my range. Ever look at the names off them though? What the umm duck you may say at your show.

There is Atlas Stones,
Some kind of backwards moans?
Is that like blue balls?
Beats me, can no longer give cat calls.

The Monster Walk.
That will make all talk.
Frankenstein or a vampire?
Maybe a namer they should hire?

Get ready for a Muscle Snatch.
Grab Arnold and steal a batch?
He may terminate.
Such a sad fate.

Hmmm Rack Pulls you say?
I don't know about that at my bay.
Isn't that sexual harassment of some sort?
I don't think it would hold up as a sport.

But if pulling is not your taste,
Rack Delivery will get there post haste.
Be careful when you dial the number.
I hear they come when you slumber.

Then you can do a Rocket Jump,
That will get you over the hump.
Or maybe into it.
I don't judge at my pit.

And if you can't say a word,
Do Good Morning and look absurd.
Maybe even quack like a duck.
Put a hat down and get a buck.

You can also get a good view,
Just let Windmills come due.
Flap with the breeze,
Get rid of those fleas.

The river may be rising soon.
Use the Sandbag Load to stop it by noon.
Where will you get the sandbag?
Maybe go to a farm and play tag?

When all is said and done,
When working out is no fun,
And you just want to be shot,
The Shotgun Row can do such a plot.

Who names these things? A rat with wings? Don't even go into the yoga names. They sound like they are from ancient Greek games. But at least you can add mass, even if the names make no sense to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, August 22, 2014

Advice For A Price?

So opinions are like assholes they say, everyone has one from bay to bay. But is advice the same racket or would that go in another bracket? I guess we shall see as we go on an advice spree.

People are great,
People are grand.
They can relate,
And lend a hand.

Advice for this,
Advice for that.
Advice they piss,
Or is it scat?

Read a post,
Read a paper.
Advice they host,
About every caper.

They know all,
They know you.
Just give a call,
Away they moo.

They are smart,
They are wise.
Take to heart,
Attracting flies.

You should hear,
You should see.
Forget their beer,
Just gives them glee.

Listen up!
Listen near!
Fill your cup,
Have no fear.

Follow me,
Follow him.
Advice is free,
From the dim.

They did a search,
They had a look.
Asked at a church,
Their off the hook.

It was found,
It was wise.
They will astound,
Until the Internet dies.

There you are. I guess advice is like the crap on your shoe you get when you walk near or far. It stinks and needs to be wiped off of you. But oh no! The Internet empowers every zoo. Pfffft stick it up your rear. Best advice from my sphere, never take advice from someone who has not been through what you have been through. Just tell them to stick their advice up their gazoo. Or you could get crass. That would be fine by my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

A Scream And Shout Freak Out!

Oh my god! You would think when that was said someone turned into a cod. The cat goes under the bed when such a freakout causes one dread. It is a scary sight. Maybe their curlers were screwed in too tight?

You can't make me pay.
I won't, I won't I say.
That just will not do.
Do you see what is in view?

Freak out galore.
Crazy came through the door.
I think nut job is right,
For this so called plight.

Look, look look!
Do you see what took?
It says this!
How could you miss?

Umm because I don't care.
Even when aware.
So just shut up.
There are worse things than a pup.

But but don't you know?
You could fry below.
You are in for an awakening soon.
Just wait for a full moon.

A bad saturday mornig cartoon,
Could sure explain this loon.
Sadly she wasn't on paper.
Maybe those lips I could staple or tape her.

I will not pay.
I don't care if I'm overdue today.
I will have to buy another thing.
Here give me this little bit of bling.

Sure, be a dumb nut.
Spend more money at your hut.
Give it all away.
Hmmm idea at my bay.

I can't believe you did that.
You are such a bad cat.
You let, sorry Rosey, 666 be what I had to pay.
There is just no way.

Whoopdi friggin doo.
A number like any other in view.
Maybe I should turn it upside down.
999 won't make any frown.

Maybe the cat should go and have everything end up 666. Then they would have more than one picks. Having to buy an extra book or two because they don't want 666 in view. But then they could just run away and not have a very nice day. So I will leave the 666 to the nut job lass who is waaaay far gone even for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer. 

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Mortal Kombat Or Something Like That!

It seems some fake representation of Drazin wants to have fun. He wants to make the two light hearted fools done. Does that ring a bell? He did try and cause Cassie and I hell.

They were on a boat,
Then poofed away like a missing coat.
Or some kind of static.
It wasn't automatic.

There was the god,
With the mind of a cod.
He wanted to kill them both.
I guess he doesn't like growth?

The Gawker is there,
With is mohawk hair.
Grumpy Goo too.
Yep, he's still blue.

Old one eye comes to play,
With her creepy display.
Optimistic what's his name,
Also tries for fame.

But do they win?
Does donkey kong do them in?
We shall see,
With a Mortal Kombat, sorta, spree.

Did you guess the winner? Poor Gawker is a sinner. Those animal mating shows are just new lows. What? He said it first at his sea. It had to be used by me. So just call on Donkey Kong when you need to squash a singing bass. He sure works for the fake representation of my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Could Be Right Does Not Take Flight!

Look here and look there, look around everywhere. What do you see with every human spree? The humans all think they are right. Wow, 7 billion think they are all right at every site.

Every one is grand,
At every single land.
There is no way,
Right isn't at play.

We are right!
Our ideas are tight.
We are right!
Right = might.

We are right!
Get out of my sight.
We are right!
Go fly a kite.

We are right!
Suffer your plight.
We are right!
Day and night.

Why think wrong?
Right is our song.
Wrong isn't right.
Go fly a kite.

I might be wrong?
Not in Hong Kong.
Not in Timbuktu.
Not at any zoo.

Don't think that way.
Right has to play.
Wrong needs to go,
Forget such a flow.

I might be wrong?
That word is strong.
Easier to go with right.
So go fly a kite.

Where is my head?
On a pillow in bed.
I swear I'm right,
It's not up anything tight.

I can never be wrong.
This has gone on too long.
I am simply right.
With every thing I say at my site.

Ever think what would happen all around if humans wised up and did not follow like a hound? Thinking no matter what the topic is, whether things in religion or the 9 to 5 biz, that they might be wrong? Instead all seem to have to be right from here to Hong Kong. So before you give off sass, just remember, I could be a wrong little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Round Twenty Five Proves They Are Still Alive!

They come back time and time again at my den. They just want to be heard, no matter how absurd. So that cat likes to give them some fame. At least they are wise enough not to include their name.

"go away stupid thing"

Wow, you are just rude. What is up with the attitude?

"cuba gooding jr bald head"

Sorry, you need to take a Boat Trip. A Chill Factor may drop your lip.

"anime moving boob"

I knew anime was good for something. Boobs are king.

"boobie prize"

See what I mean? They sure make a scene.

"i love round ass"

Errr umm okay. I guess they like another display.

"dirty mind quotes"

If you go to the gutter every day, you have a dirty mind, okay?

"blow jobs r us"

I knew that would come back to haunt. That scary day does taunt.

"Brian stole my round and round phone"

Was it the gawker or the cat with the hat? Now why would you guys do that?

"Flipping in the daylight dudes."

Errr ummm okay. You just flip away.

"Fried leg tastes yummy"

A cannibal at my sea. Stay the hell away from me.

"Sorry, you lose grandma."

Awwww talking about your nanny. Did you shake your winning fanny?

"My cat's farts stink."

Did you cough and blink at your cat fart clink?

"Bad dogggges grope bad girls."

Somehow I doubt it is the four legged kind. Go play with the guy with a dirty mind.

"sample my gum ma"

I hope it is just gum. It is nice your ma is your gum chewing chum.

And the winner of the day with their great display, may come as a shock. But you are used to them at my dock. So sit back and stare, but viewer beware.

"Tabs on hilltop women veginas for me"

So is that like a female vegan or something? Wait! I do not want to know at my wing. Now aren't you glad they stalk me and not thee? Would you want cannibals coming after you? Brian your phone stealing will not do. Who steals old wind up phones anyway? Are you too cheap to pay? We will bury that mystery in the grass as I am not sure it should ever be solved by my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Time To Shed The Blogland Bed!

With summer all around, and sadly, soon no longer found. Unless the heat goes the way of last year's snow. Then we may get months more of it at our show. Either way, in summer you shed to go to the bay. So why not shed online too? No, no scary pics in view.

Tons there,
At your lair,
High speed,
Has nothing on your feed.

A little tune,
To make you swoon.
50 widgets,
Promoting midgets.

Hmm oh woe as me,
I'm not PC.
Might get shot by an eskimo.
Damn, there I go.

Disquis to annoy.
It brings no joy.
Flush it down the loo,
Fancy = fail at ones zoo.

Disquis brings comments galore?
Are you IGN at your shore?
If not, Disquis can rot.
A whole friggin lot.

Other fancy crap,
Fall in the same crap.
Jumping through hoops,
Are for chicken coops.

Word verification too,
Been there at my zoo.
But what the heck,
Shed it from your deck.

Nice small font,
Are you trying to taunt?
Want to hurt eyes?
Word to the wise,

That screams skip!
So small fonts strip.
And pull a cliffhanger,
To avoid a head banger.

Put to be continued at the end,
Then hit send.
Then write another post,
Much easier at ones coast.

And that is my tips for the day. So shed away. Or just ignore the cat and do what you want at your blogland mat. I do at my sea. I think I need to prune bush number three. So I will prune that mass with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Going Greek With This Rip Off Leak!

Thinking cap or mamtc now, I guess to her acronyms wow, likes to go all god tales at her sea. So why not once more go all godly from me? Then I can get two in one and so will end this rip off week run.

Callisto was grand,
Zeus took her by the hand,
And had his way.
Hera then changed her display.

Callisto became a bear.
Her son was something rare.
He was a hunter to top them all.
Oopsy, killed his mother as she gave a bear call.

Morpheus was so great,
Nope, not The Matrix mate,
That no one cares.
Say his name and you get stares.

He liked to enter dreams,
Like the naked on stage streams.
A perv it seems he liked to be.
They did name morphine after that crazy.

Nemesis will help scratch your itch,
Especially if you think you're oh so rich.
Arrogance she does not like,
That is when she seems to strike.

Too lucky, too clever or too rich,
And you end up in a ditch.
Hmmm lately she must be slacking,
As there may be a few that need to be sent packing.

Semele had an affair with Zeus.
Who didn't touch his caboose?
She was a scorcher they say,
I bet it got hot when they rolled in the hay.

Hera did not like that one bit.
So she put a stop to it.
She made Zeus where his hottest clothes,
When Semele saw him, she spontaneously combusted over his regal pose.

And for our final act,
Comes a body and soul pact.
Hermaphroditus was born,
When a Nymph played her horn.

She wanted to be one with her man.
She was such a great fan.
Prayed to the gods each day,
Then poof, two became one mutation on display.

Aren't the Greek gods strange? They are surely far far out on the range. I guess those aliens were a strange bunch. They had worse things to fear than a credit crunch. Imagine your wife or husband sharing a body mass. That would disturb way more than the stories from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, August 15, 2014

A Rip Off Ghost At My Coast!

So at that holy ghost's place some Sovereign Order thing he/she/it seems to embrace. Secret identity and all makes he/she/it as bad as R at my hall. Anyway, that order thing shows up a ton at their wing. The cat just knows they have a great story to tell. So I figured what the hell.

Stories of the Order - How They Stopped Demons From Crossing The Border.

It was a dark and stormy night, doesn't it always seem to start with such a plight? Why can't it be a bright and cheery day? How do they do things at a bay that has 24 hour sunlight on display? Umm anyway, back to it before you are all old and grey. Whoops, I guess a few are already passed that point. Never fear, I won't point you out at my joint.

The demons came from hell. They even rang a bell. I think they wanted you humans for dinner. I wonder how they decided on a winner? The ones with the most meat must look like a treat. At least diets would be in high demand all across the land. Where was I? Oh yes, demons fell from the sky.

They surrounded one and all. I guess there were many demons on call. To surround 7 billion people would take skill. Maybe they just buried Earth in some cosmic hill? I guess it does not really matter though. It would just make for a giant litter box at my show. What was that? On with it at my mat? Okay, I will get there before you are old and gray. Damn, already said that. Don't want to be a repeat cat.

The demons crossed the border from Hell. That is obviously where they dwell. Where did you think they call home? It makes no since to be Tahiti or Rome. A demon from Tahiti sounds wrong. Maybe it is a demon who likes to sing a song? What do you mean I am not telling the story? Do not worry, it is about to get gory.

The humans were almost done when pringle cans rained down from the sun. They were filled with my dung and they caused the demons to pop a lung. That is right, they exploded on sight. The humans were filled with demon goo and the demon take over was through. Wait! What? Where are those order things at my hut? They made you humans forget it all. Demon guts does not go well with anything in the fall.

So you were saved from that awful thought. You can thank the order lot. But just remember the cat saved the day and the dung filled pringle cans are never far away. Now you know that whenever a demon gives you sass you just need to call up my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

This Stream Rips Off Another Dream!

Here we are once more with a rip off at my shore. Seems the perfect time to bring back the one with the sparkly fart. She sure takes that to heart.

 Two light hearted fools sailed away.
It looks like they are in the sky not the bay.
But let's just ignore that.
No fairy dust at our mat.

Then they jump in the bay.
I guess they had a dirty display.
They even made me take a bath.
They will suffer my wrath.

Then poof we went.
I guess this old fart got bent.
He wanted all to bow.
No way, I wouldn't even meow.

 There was snow.
We just had to go.
Of course we tried for the save,
While stuck in this ice cave.

He got really mad.
Fun was not had.
He yelled at a high pitch.
Need to bury him in a ditch.

We found a new sword.
I found it, I should get the reward.
Hmmm ripped off something else maybe?
Pfft it wasn't me.

 Truedessa used her super garlic breath,
To put the wizard to death.
I hope she finds a tic tac,
Whenever we get back.

 We saved the day.
Ready to go back to the bay.
And sail to who knows where.
At least we got to leave the ice lair.

Oh, and yep it was really me.
I kicked the wizard into the sea.
He drowned bringing forth death,
He was just knocked out from Truedessa's bad breath,

There you are, book number 35 has been released at our sand bar. We are getting closer to 50 with every one. Soon then maybe 100 will show under our sun. Now I have to run from that Truedessa lass, her bad breath scares my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Let's Bake A Rip Off Cake!

So Glory Dear bakes a cake or two as she stays buried in the sand at her zoo. That is a skill indeed. She then takes great pics of them at her feed. Well the cat is going to show her up. I will bake something without a hiccup.

You start with dough,
This you know.
You flatten it well,
Showing off it's story to tell.

You see it has flaws,
Not from my paws,
But because all wanted to help.
If able, the poor thing would yelp.

I dubbed it the blogland creation,
To everyone's elation.
But now I digress,
First we have to make the mess.

You get it flat,
Yeah, I already said that.
Then make it your own,
With things you wish were unknown.

Betsy throws in some cat hair.
Brian cuts off his hair, only fair.
Then they really add it in.
Some cat hair and mohawk for the win.

Rosey gives it a letter.
Maybe to help it feel better.
Manzanita some worms,
To spread the germs?

The ninja wannabe a mask.
Where it's been, not sure I want to ask.
The blue guy some spittle.
It was only a little.

Mary gives some dog hair,
With all the hair it is rare.
Hank wants to make sure he's seen.
So #1 marks the spleen.

Then you put it in the oven,
And finally after all the lovin,
The creation is great to eat.
Then just rinse and repeat.

You may find extra bits,
From other blog pits.
But just spit them out.
We save those for trout.

Doesn't he look fit to eat? Beats anything at Gloria's street? The cat is just oh so great and his art skills are anything but second rate. What is that? You don't agree with the cat? Pfffft it is that letter from that Rosey lass or maybe Manzi's worm mass? Just eat up and do not give sass. You will enjoy it, says my ever so clever little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

A Mutt Or Three On A Spree!

Did you know Mary has three butt sniffers at her show? She sure has quite the collection and now it is time for a little recollection. She has dropped hints over the years, bragging about knowing the below cheers.

There is an art,
That Mary takes to heart.
She learns it every day,
Sharing it at her bay.

You have not seen it?
Just look at each hit.
She hides it in plain sight,
Trying to hide her plight.

It is very rare.
Not many get it at their lair.
At least those with two legs,
Or not drunk on multiple kegs.

But she has it down,
No matter where she is in town.
A secret she does not share.
Sorry, I had to at my lair.

But no need to be contrary.
I rip you off in good faith, Mary.
Now the cat has set you free.
You can teach all far and wide with glee.

All I learned I learned from Mary's site. Watch for it when she posts at night. The little hints are there. I just had to rip her off at my lair. What is that you say? I made it up at my bay? No, I'd never do that to such a lass. I am such an honest little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Going Blue At My Zoo!

It is time for some wise advise from the blue guy. I guess he really wanted to be ripped off under my sky. He came and helped the cat out. I think he just likes to hear himself snore errr umm shout.

 The blue guy is here,
Give a cheer.
Is he dancing?
His new look is so entrancing.

 Look at him.
Remakes are grim.
He has great advice.
And at a cheap price.

Hmmm where do you dock it?
Sounds like such a wrong rocket.
I hope there is no burn,
A trip to the snip snip place you may earn.

 Well no need for a burn,
As you go to the couch at every turn.
I guess a snore a night,
Avoids the cough and look into my light.

 What, no friends?
You don't join trends?
Facebook can fry.
Well said Blue Guy.

Can't let it go.
Only the kangaroo is in the know.
Go ask that guy.
I bet he won' lie.

You finally admit it.
You are full of umm spit.
Spouting about the trip.
Can you do a black flip?

Is that a new style?
Is it a great big pile?
Betsy may top you,
With her kitty crew.

 Sorry, wrong blog.
Are you in a fog?
The title was even wrong.
Gonna sing a sailor song?

 That was abrupt.
Wait for cheers to erupt.
Wait for it, wait for it.
Hmmm maybe next year you'll be a hit.

There was some wise advice from the blue guy. But just so you know he does lie. Aren't the cat's art skills grand? I should be an illustrator in my land. What, I should pass? How rude of you to dash the dreams of my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

It's A Battle To Make Your Brain Rattle!

So the cat decided to make the week easy on me and rip off thee. It's rip off week part three. Hey, I can be lazy at my sea. What? I had these posts done months ago at my hut? Shhhh don't tell. Why in the past should you dwell.

Farawayeyes, has a battle here and there.
About the only thing she shows at her lair.
Oh there are the results too.
But still fun at her zoo.

Battle of the bands,
Clap your hands.
But I'm gonna cheat,
And go to my own beat.

Had the idea last week,
So some I went to seek,
And with this rip off at my sea,
You will pick your favorite from the theme of me.

Good lovin we all need,
That is sure indeed.
Unless you are a monk,
Then you're in a funk.

Could it win?
Better than the rest at my bin?
Don't make your brain rattle,
As we continue the battle.

Are Cuban's your thing?
Maybe you like green at your wing?
Can you chic chicee boom?
Seeing that may bring doom.

Keep it inside.
Are you on the Cuban Pete ride?
Pick or he'll blow your brains out.
That will make you pout.

Or is the hillbilly look,
The love of your nook?
A little dirt,
Can make you flirt?

Constant sorrow must suck.
You'd really be out of luck.
But is it a win?
Put your votes in.

One, two or three,
Which is the pick from thee?
No need for lies,
Now I'm done kinda ripping off farawayeyes.

Instead of one song by two or three separate bands, I went to the movie/TV stands. There you got songs covered around. These three popped in and now are found. The first rip off has now come to pass from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

The Direction To The Dumb Election!

Have you ever tried to deal with a dunce? They come back more than once. They can't just find what to do and continually have to bother you.

How do you do that?
Has been heard by the cat.
The cat can explain,
Most get on board the train.

Even those that have no clue,
Catch on at their zoo.
But then there is one or two,
Who's brain cells got flushed down the loo.

Can tell them the exact way,
Yet they still screw it up at their bay.
They still say it didn't work.
User error is such a perk.

If it doesn't work, unplug it.
Some can't even get that bit.
Which plug do I pull?
Are you sure your brain is full?

Go to start!
Some take that to heart.
Grab a Monopoly board.
I guess fake money they hoard,

Instead of looking down.
My, they get the dunce crown.
Tell them right where it is,
Act like you're giving them a quiz.

Where is print screen.
They ask as they make a scene.
Like it is oh so rare.
Maybe they need a spare.

Or glasses could come due.
Maybe it should moo.
Say the keys name,
And it will light a flame.

Dare you ever get complicated one bit
Then the whole process goes to umm spit.
It is what comes out their yap,
When they continue to flap.

Yet they are in such a business anyway,
And they expect to be lead to get pay?
Some people just cause fear,
And should really rethink their career.

Can't say I will miss this friggin work zoo. I will be glad when it is through. No more putting up with these types and other whiners with gripes. The cat will be glad he doesn't have to hear about it at his pad. But then I'll have to find other ways of talking crass. Oh well, sure it can be figured out by my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Synchronicity You Say At Your Bay?

So the cat was arguing the other day, just for fun at his bay. The cat knows he is always right. What? At least I can bite. When you can do that. You can always be a right cat.

Synchronicity is everywhere.
It is in every lair.
It just has to be.
Look at this number spree.

Pfffft go away.
Go in the road and play.
Count the cars that hit you.
I have to use the loo.

But just look around.
Synchronicity can be found.
This number leads to that.
Admit it, cat!

You're still here?
Go jog around the sphere.
A full 360 degrees.
I bet it will be a breeze.

Synchronicity should not be overlooked.
It comes when things are booked.
It comes all year around.
Damn it! It is found.

Right! Go fly a kite.
Tie it around your neck tight.
Then go in a hurricane.
You'll only feel a little pain.

The digits are here.
They have no fear.
They show the way.
Just follow their display.

Yep, digits I'm dialing,
As your crap keeps piling.
Take you to the loony bin.
That would be a true win.

Just draw them out.
Then you can shout.
Tell the world over.
It will even impress rover.

I wish rover was near.
Could sniff your rear.
Hump your leg too.
Then maybe you'd get a clue.

Follow that at my sea? Some people are so out to lunch with synchronicity. If numbers line up in such a way, it is surely synchronicity at play. Nope, it's not because you are looking for it. Nope, not one bit. You look at the clock and it's 11:11. Oh that must be a sign from heaven. Not because in your life you will look at a clock a bazillion times and eventually you will see many 11:11 chimes. Nope, it is synchronicity that comes to pass. Some have clearly been sniffing more than what comes out my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Dumb Things To Do To Get Rich At Your Zoo!

I guess it shows something about human minds, meaning it takes all kinds, when such things make one a millionaire. Almost enough to make the cat swear.

The best of all,
See it winter through fall.
But sell it and win.
Pet Rocks brought at least 15 million in.

Dumb smiley faces,
Were off to the races.
Times the above my ten,
And you still are only 33% there at your den.

The slinky was grand,
Fall down the land.
250 million made at hand,
For something that can't even stand.

A blanket won't do,
Get a Snuggie at your zoo.
Didn't create it? Damn!
Missed out on 200 million, Mam.

Beanie babies were all the rage.
They were on every page
Only made the creator a bit,
Like 5 billion for such a hit.

That get you in a bad mood?
No need to give attitude.
For it may sting,
But get the rich richer, buy a mood ring.

Don't bother with a cool pet.
That is not a safe bet.
Get a Chia pet at your sea.
They've already made millions and look like a tree.

The clapper sounds like an std.
But one that will cause glee.
As it made the creator rich.
Clapping makes me twitch.

Santa mail is so grand.
Santa gets letters from all over the land.
But at 10 bucks a pop,
He writes back and the cash flows non stop.

And then comes antenna balls.
They may get you cat calls.
A happy face ball on your car.
Yep, millions made by far.

See how easy it is at your sea? Now go make something dumb and go on a millionaire spree. Maybe my kitty litter pringle can scoop will fit into this loop? Easier than a bag at my sea. Now I will leave thee. Depressed at such a pass? Bah, just gives me gas that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Poor Poor You There At Your Zoo!

The cat hears many are a singer. They are a poor poor me clinger. That song seems to get stuck in many a head. I guess it beats some Brady Bunch or Wheels on the Bus dread.

Poor poor me,
What can I do at my sea.
No one likes me.
Poor poor thee.

Got a hang nail.
Go ahead and wail.
But at least the finger nail is still there.
What? You weren't aware?

Stubbed your toe?
Oh no!
At least you have a toe,
And feeling in it to boot at your show.

Sat on a tack?
Damn, a nasty attack.
At least you can sit,
Well maybe not for a bit.

Car won't work?
That isn't a perk.
But at least you have one,
Even if it isn't fun.

Bills past due?
Boo hoo.
Let them suffer,
Give them an old stocking stuffer.

Can't eat this or that,
Or you'll be dead at your mat?
Then don't eat it,
Not hard, one bit.

Ran into a wall,
In a crowded hall?
Oh well.
At least you can walk to a wishing well.

Rely on the above well?
Better off just saying oh hell.
Or giving your coin to a kid,
Maybe you'll find a magic squid?

Poor poor you,
Got a bad review.
Whoopdi friggin doo,
25% of people will always hate you.

There you are at my sea. I know, such advice shouldn't be free. But no matter what you do, it always can be worse at your zoo. And 25% of people on the planet aren't going to like you no matter what. So don't waste time on them at your hut. Just mutter something crass and walk off, like my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Why Not These, They Should Please!

So there are shows about this and shows about that, ignore forever the reality crap at any mat. But then the scripted ones seem to be all the same. I guess they like to remain tame.

Look a lawyer show.
Way to go!
Oh my a cop show.
50 of those lined up in a row.

That doctor one is new.
Whoopdi friggin doo.
Always the same.
Can get kind of lame.

Why not a show about a plumber?
He could be a real bummer.
Get it at my sea?
A frisky plumber with glee.

Why not a vet?
One who can talk to each pet.
Oops, been there, done that.
Forget that idea, stat!

Santa Claus on his days off.
He has to get a cough.
Plus he has to exercise to lose some weight.
I bet viewers would save the date.

The accountant show.
Numbers will flow.
Money will pile high.
Could make one spry.

That talking furniture show.
That will surely go.
All will want to see,
What the couch thinks of the fat ass of thee.

The construction worker.
Could be a real tear jerker.
Construction workers in love.
Twirling stop signs when push comes to shove.

The flower shop.
It won't be a flop.
It will be grand.
Manure and flowers make a stand.

And finally the best of the best,
It beats all the rest.
The sanitation worker show.
It could work, you never know.

Okay, maybe cops are the better way to go. Some of those may be too slow. But then again zombie cops could be fun. They could go around and eat everyone. Maybe dinosaur pretenders, they could be Earth's defenders. The cat will stop with this mass, if used, be sure and credit my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Time To Think At My Rink!

So the cat is here to make you think, warning it may bring you to the brink. Yep, even more than usual at my sea, as in rhyme I am going to brain tease thee.

Take 9 from 6, 10 from 9,
50 from 40 and leave 6.
How come asks the feline,
No, there isn't any tricks.

The sign reads $1 for 1,
$2 for 10 and $3 for 100 in view.
I needed 924 and only paid 3 bucks when done.
How did such a thing ensue?

When can you add 2 to 11 and the right answer is one?
This is an easy run.
Have to give you a break.
Ready to drown yourself in a lake?

If you were running a race,
And you passed the person in second place,
What place would you now embrace?
Don't make a funny face.

A clerk in a butcher shop is 6 foot two.
He has size 14 sneakers on as well.
What does he weigh at his zoo?
Ready to damn me to hell?

Did you know that in Timbuktu,
You can't take a picture of a man with a wooden leg?
Why can't this come due?
Round hole, square peg?

Before Mt. Everest was found,
What was the highest mountain on Earth?
Let that brain roll around,
Did an answer give birth?

How much dirt is in a hole,
The measures two feet by three feet by two feet?
Did you give another eye roll?
Don't fidget around in your seat.

What word in the English language you humans created,
Is always spelled incorrectly?
Is your brain elated?
Feel free to contact someone directly.

What 5 letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Are you confused a bit?
You have to get one.
Never fear, now we are done.

So how many did you get right here at my site? Is your brain in overload? I enjoyed the teasing mode. #1 was the only one the cat couldn't get without looking at the answer to it. Can you top my wit? Good luck class with topping my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

What I Did Sunday At My Bay!

The cat just has to share what he did Sunday at his lair. What is that you say? Sunday isn't over yet at your bay? Well I am in another time zone. I know, don't moan. What is that too? Bah, I never stole it from Betsy's zoo.

First I blinded this guy.
I poked him in the eye.
Then I made him wail,
When I chewed on his tail.

I made this guy pout.
It was easy with a shout.
I just took his toy.
He lost all his joy.

I chased her out the door.
She can go outside and explore.
See that grumpy look?
I hear a rain bath she took.

I took her chair.
I did it with flair.
She was rather ticked.
I can't say we clicked.

I chased this guy away.
He is scared I'd say.
Just glaring at me,
As frightened as can be.

This guy was all relaxed.
He looked good and taxed.
I could not have that.
I am such a mean cat.

So I chased him away.
I gave him this display.
A tiny litter box.
Beats chicken pox.

This guy played dead.
I whacked his head.
He did not move at all.
He feared the cat call.

Then I went after three.
Can you tell they don't like me?
The cat is just so rude,
They give me lots of attitude.

Next Cassie and I took a nap.
They all fell for my trap.
It was time to rest.
I always do my best.

Was your day as exciting as mine? Can you top the feline? No? Damn, so mundane at your show. The cat can teach you a trick or two. But then he'd have to kill you. So let's forgo something so crass and just leave the work to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Not Rhyming Is A Crime Every Time!

Can you see the cat hanging his head below? That is because Pat is going all non rhyme again at our show. I thought he was over that. I guess not at our mat.

You can see I'm appalled over this.
It does not bring the cat bliss.
But I guess one or two,
Can't hurt at our zoo.

It does not mean I like it though.
Either way, had to give this a show.
Will you hang your head in shame too?
I guess we shall see when in view.

You will just have to wait.
Or scroll down at a fast rate.
That is cheating though.
But the image will still show.

Yeah, I put my image on top,
So you wouldn't see it when you stop.
Cheating to see it in the blogroll.
Now you get to see me with such a stroll.

What am I talking about though?
What? You still don't know?
I guess the cat will get to it.
I still don't like non-rhyming one bit.

But I think that you knew.
Then again I don't always rhyme in view.
I've left a comment or two without rhyme.
I guess I commit my own crime.

So I will let it go.
Now away we go.
A question or two,
For those who view.

Does it catch the eye,
When you spy?
No, not the above one of me,
I know the answer to that is yes at my sea.

Where should the words go?
Debating that at our show.
Any suggestion on that?
It doesn't rhyme so this one will be by "Patrick" Hatt.

And now you can see,
What is being yapped about by me.
Max Blizzard and The Gem of Camelot will (as in a few months) come due,
At 50,000 words in 6 days at my zoo.

So does it catch the eye and make you wonder why? The illustrator was sure grand, captured what I told him at my land. Where do you think the title and name should go? Thinking name at the bottom but title is a hmmmm at my show. Typed 50,000 in 6 days with one arm too. I just have to brag at my zoo. Suck that nano thing, not really, as I write in mass. You can't stop my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Rip Off Us And Get A Cuss!

You humans sure are strange, but then we already proved that at my range. So I guess it will come as no surprise, but the cat likes to point out how you are not so wise.

Can't sell a thing,
There at your wing?
Walk to a new beat,
And just cheat.

Humans are lame,
In the ad game.
Let's go to the creatures,
To make up our features.

Hostgator sounds great.
Big teeth hosting mate.
Will eat you up and spit you out.
Beats being compared to trout.

Red Bull is here,
Have no fear.
A horn to your rear,
Is all that will appear.

Greyhound is grand.
Race you across the land.
They have the skinny.
Beats a bear named Winnie.

Dove will love you.
Clean you too.
Those feathers are soft.
Use them at your loft.

Puma has your needs.
Nope, not pumpkin seeds.
You will run in the wild.
Trust us, child.

Starbucks is great.
None can relate.
Oh wait!
Came from Moby Dick, mate!

Jaguar is here.
You'll cross the whole sphere.
In luxury at high speed.
Use the litter where ever you need.

Animals are used,
Even abused.
That is just rude.
Time for attitude.

Wait! Already gave the attitude. Okay, I'll just be rude. Humans aren't pretty enough without plastic I guess. So instead they put animals into their mess. And we don't get any kickbacks at all. That is just rude at our hall. The cat wants money to come like the gas that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.