Monday, August 25, 2014

Wink, Wink You Stink!

Ever come across a stinky person at your sea? Of course that is a dumb question from me. If you have not than you live under a rock. Anyway, they can sure cause shock. The cat would flat out say. But I have been told you need to go the more tactful way.

Smell that air.
Fresh and rare.
Stop and stare.
Did in walk a bear?

Insult to bears.
But who cares?
Get some nose plugs.
Can't blame pugs.

Now what do to?
Can't just go ewww.
Creative with stink.
Before you hit the brink.

Grab a kid.
Let them flip their lid.
Kids say the darnest things.
They'll say stink rings.

Put your shirt over your nose.
Now strike a fancy pose.
Wave that hand too.
Could look strange at your zoo.

Say that person really stinks,
Pointing and giving a few winks.
But say it to the stinky person about another stinky one.
Hey, sometimes have to use gossip to get things done.

Give them a gift.
Run in quite swift.
Drop it when they are away.
Deodorant on display.

Hold your breath.
Let them know they bring death.
Then yell fresh air,
When they leave your lair.

Get a water gun,
Fill it with mouthwash for fun.
Then whenever they flap,
Spray it into their yap.

Or just go umm duck it.
Put a bunch of water in a bucket.
Carry to where they are,
Then dump it over them with a "you stink" har har.

Now you have some good tips from the cat to take care of stinky people at your mat. I do not mean a fart here and there. I mean those that burn your nose hair. They do it all day long. They come on strong. Whether stinky lad or overly scent drenched stinky lass, keep them away from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

104 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Without a break # 9
      One so well defined

      Hank

      Delete
    2. Just got it
      From R at my bin

      Delete
    3. Might get drunk
      Then 10 would go kerplunk

      Delete
    4. Kerplunk may be good
      In my neighborhood

      Delete
    5. Like three in a row
      Then you win the jackpot and go

      Delete
    6. When I do
      I'll send some to you
      Hidden in a shoe

      Delete
    7. Sounds good to me
      Make sure big bills are in the shoe from thee

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. From coast to coat!
      Have some toast!

      Delete
    2. Eat it light
      So no fat takes flight

      Delete
    3. Plus don't eat it all night
      That can't be Toast Light

      Delete
    4. Eat in the shower
      You'll have horse power

      Delete
    5. But still a great post...
      You don't mean to boast
      From coast to coast

      Delete
    6. Great as can be
      Yipeee for me

      Delete
    7. Yippeee times three
      Just for me

      Delete
  3. "good tips from the cat to take care of stinky people"
    Tell them off right in the face one need not be so subtle
    In them already ingrained
    No necessity for refrains
    Few direct 'telling offs' they should turn out to be bearable

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha direct you say
      I'll do that at my bay
      Come what may
      For true stink they will pay

      Delete
  4. Yes! We have a lot of foreigners visit down south, and their hygiene isn't like ours.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol steer clear
      Or dose them in beer

      Delete
  5. I remember when perfume was all the rage
    Number one, it hit the stage
    Now scents have fallen into a hole
    Wearers take heed, it's a whole new role.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they just annoy
      And bring me no joy

      Delete
  6. Squirt gun full of mouthwash - that beats a pocket full of Tic-Tacs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Better pressure too
      For those hard to gets spots on you lol

      Delete
  7. When people stink
    It makes me think
    Didn't you take a bath today?
    Do you like your dirty play?
    Some folks keep their mouths shut
    But I'm a big-mouthed kinda mutt
    So I make them blush like hell
    Some will yell when I tell
    Them they are a smelly bunch
    There goes my lunch
    Never let them be
    When they make you stink for free
    Well, that's how I see it
    When people smell like um spit

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha let them have it
      When they smell like umm spit
      That is the way
      Maybe you'll brighten their day
      Or they will darken yours
      As they knock you on all fours lol

      Delete
    2. They and what army... the smelly crew
      They can smell my shoe
      You know which one
      The one bringing all the fun

      Delete
    3. The shoe is smelly?
      Whack them as they rub your belly
      Give a ho ho ho
      And then kick em below

      Delete
    4. Will do
      With my kangaroo shoe
      The one I stole from you

      Delete
    5. Might have fleas
      Or make you sneeze

      Delete
    6. Or smell like cheese
      In a breeze when I tease

      Delete
    7. With warty knees
      Chased by bees

      Delete
  8. Some people just smell awful, there's no reason for it. Everyone can afford a toothbrush and a bathtub.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I mean sneak into a gym if you have no hot water at your sea
      Some are just rather nasty

      Delete
    2. They call it a gym,I call it a germ
      More germs than in an 80s perm

      Delete
    3. Yeah the gym is the third germiest place around
      Behind airports and hospitals that surround

      Delete
    4. "Step in my pool
      I'm sweating so much it can't be drool"
      No thank you... no gym for me
      I have one at my place to be
      Blue Gym, not Blue Germ
      Not even an 80s perm

      Delete
    5. Yeah and germs come out with sweat
      A gym and I shall never be met

      Delete
  9. How about running around with a utility belt full of body spray, and using it like mace? You'd be the Batman of foul smelling people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lmao the foul smell eliminator is at hand
      Could catch on across the land

      Delete
    2. It so happens that I sprayed perfume in my classroom the other week. It was either that or eating backward.

      Delete
    3. Wanted to spruce it up
      And not smell like a foul pup?

      Delete
  10. Hold your nose! But don't breathe out of your mouth. Ugh. Can't win.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol screwed either way
      So let them have it with spray

      Delete
  11. We usually call Stink Busters!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha do they do the trick
      And get rid of it slick

      Delete
  12. I think you could go EWWWW but face away from the stinky object. This was a very funny post and I needed a good laugh. Have a great day Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha glad it was fun
      And yeah, could go ewww and then run

      Delete
  13. Can go both ways indeed to be stinky
    can be from dirt or from perfume
    not sure which one could be the worst one
    both could clear the room

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah the dirt is a normal smell at least
      Still makes one smell like a wildebeest
      But the perfume just makes me want to run
      Especially when it is loaded on someone

      Delete
  14. I've got stories about kids being too innocently honest...one to do with someone who had stinky breath. It might work, since kids are honest (might get the person thinking hygiene) but it's no fun for the parent when it happens. Oy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha may be embarrassing a bit
      But at least they use nice words and not ones like umm spit

      Delete
    2. Whoa!! She's got stinky breath (waving little hand in front of little nose) is not using nice words. hahaha Adding the firm shhh!! and getting the, 'What? She does, it stinks. She needs to brush her teeth or something,' only makes things worse. ;) #kids :)

      Delete
    3. lmao I suppose that is worse
      Than just giving a curse hahaha

      Delete
  15. I'm glad I'm not out around a lot of people anymore because some people forget to bathe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That they do
      And smell like poo

      Delete
    2. Ah... again your favorite word
      Or so I'm told... or so I heard :p

      Delete
    3. Just rhymes easy
      For you it seems umm pleasy

      Delete
  16. We saw someone sneak into
    The shower at the hotel pool
    And emerge with less decay
    During our recent vaca
    Glad they took the time to clean their bod
    But on the shower not such a good job
    That was a shower to avoid like spit
    Needed a squirt gun filled with Comet

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well at least they are clean
      Even if they left a scene that was obscene
      Blah to anyone after though
      To another one I'd go

      Delete
  17. Is there any subject you won't take on here and make me laugh,
    Smelly people need straight talk about taking a bath.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha the cat will go anywhere
      Dare or no dare
      As some need more than a wink
      To know they stink

      Delete
  18. A shower is a wondrous thing
    that makes you shine and makes you clean.
    But if you fail to wash your clothes,
    you'll still assault a sensitive nose.

    VR Barkowski

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah have to rinse them out
      Or you'll smell like a trout

      Delete
  19. Haha. This happened to me one time. This guy behind me in the checkout lane evidently forgot his deodorant. Whee. I didn't say a word, but the cashier almost fainted.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha that would be funny to watch from afar
      As long as no smell was had at my bar

      Delete
  20. Omy this is terrible and smell this sometimes in buses or subway:)
    But what can we do? Maybe some people dont like a shower lol or dont noticed smell bad.Is sad.
    Is not about money some people doesnt like showers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is true
      Some don't like to shower at their zoo
      They rather like the stink
      And bringing others to the brink

      Delete
    2. That's why Mr. P.I. No, not Magnum but me... Politically Incorrect... won't be caught dead in a bus. Sniff sniff... no thank you very much.

      Delete
    3. HATE buses at my sea
      Rather walk, its free

      Delete
    4. Smells better too
      Not like poo
      Or breath from hell
      Making you yell

      Delete
    5. Except if there is smog
      Or you step on a brown log

      Delete
  21. orlin N cassie

    back in de dayz oh gram dude
    N yez dude had sum.. cat a tood
    de food gurl used ta date a guy
    himz home frum werk N her could cry
    granted him werked hard all day
    but dude wood smell him N run a way




    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha sounds like quite a fright
      His smell must have had bite

      Delete
  22. Good advice
    I won't think twice
    To say hey dude you smell
    And you don't smell swell
    But it is hard to flee
    When the stinker is me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well you can try
      Find a good wind and wave bye bye

      Delete
  23. Find something worse and place it near them

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Get a skunk
      And have it leave them in a funk

      Delete
  24. Nothing worse then when you are stuck in a room with someone who loaded on the perfume

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that is nasty as can be
      They are very smelly

      Delete
  25. Every once in a while someone at the auction will smell
    and I think 'bloody hell!'
    Why they have to stand by me
    when they are all stinky
    is something I'd like to know
    as they let off a stink glow.
    haha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha maybe they want things to even out
      You smell so nice they don't want people to shout
      So they make the two equal zero
      They are the hero lol

      Delete
  26. That is a tough one to tackle. I work from home, so I'm not around so many smelly people throughout the course of my life, thankfully. I do remember when I worked for the state and one agency had to send out a memo asking employees to "practice good hygiene" because some people just weren't bathing at all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now that is pretty bad
      When a memo needs to go out because people smell more than a tad

      Delete
    2. I would love to have sent that memo haha

      Delete
    3. I'd be a smart ass
      Probably offend the mass

      Delete
    4. To offend is good
      In my neighborhood

      Delete
  27. Walking into a classroom of Year 8 or 9 boys who have not yet been introduced to deodorant is a bit stinky!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha not a breathe of fresh air
      At such a lair?

      Delete
  28. It never fails. Every time I go to a live show I get stuck next to the old lady who thinks she needs to bathe in her perfume before coming to the show. I always leave with a headache!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And they always want you to bathe in her stink. How rude!

      Delete
    2. Yeah it just sucks a ton
      'Perfume is blah and then some under my sun

      Delete
  29. O my, it's hard
    to stand against the odor
    by your blogging door... lol

    hope the shower steam
    will swallow the stink
    from thoughts we think
    from hands and things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah need to shower away
      To get that stink from my bay

      Delete
  30. ha. my son was so happy he finally stunk enough
    to get deoderant, guess it makes him feel the man
    to cover his pits with roll on...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that may wear off soon
      As he has to do it every day at his sand dune

      Delete
  31. Everyone thinks
    They themselves don't stink
    But oft is the case
    After running a race

    Sweat and heat
    Not at all sweet
    But once water flows
    The stink surely goes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep just need a shower
      And the stink has no power

      Delete
  32. Sad when people stink. I used to suggest to some students, on occasion, that they consider a shower that evening!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha a subtle way
      To let them know at your bay

      Delete