Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Wishing You Well On The Highway To Hell!

The frog just had to belt out another tune. I guess he crossed the border to the land of this loon. He didn't seem to like it very much. I guess those loonies are weird to the touch. Maybe he needs a better ride. I'm sure that cold shrank his umm pride.

I've boarded the highway,
The highway to hell.
The border is lost,
I'm under a spell.

They took my gun,
no right to bear arms.
Those bright red mounties
Must make great fire alarms.

I had to steal monopoly,
Because my money is no good.
These bill colors are so bright,
They can't be misunderstood.

I'm on the highway,
The highway to hell.
Where is the border,
This place has a weird smell.

Maple syrup is on everything.
From chocolate to toast.
Out in the mountains of snow,
There is even a maple syrup weenie roast.

Give me my Canadian bacon,
Wait! There is none of that here.
Could Americans have invented that?
Get me out of this hemisphere.

I'm on the highway
The highway to hell.
Where is the border,
Is this some kind of wishing well?

It asks for a loonie,
Do I have to go insane?
What, now a toonie?
How do I get out of this lane.

What does that sign say?
The damn thing is in french.
When did I leave Canada,
And end up in a France trench?

I'm on the highway,
The highway to hell.
Where is the border,
Is that wearing a bell?

A man riding a moose.
That is sure a first.
And now comes a polar bear,
Quenching its thirst.

Some sort of civilization, at last.
Wait! I call a retraction on that.
They are throwing rocks at rocks,
And sweeping ice like some dingbat.

I'm on the highway,
The highway to hell.
Where is the border,
What's that they sell?

Get my very own igloo,
Two for the price of one?
Free tickets to hockey,
Is life on ice that fun?

Beer cooled in the snow,
A sight on every lawn.
Where is my gun?
I'll shoot myself, if not out of here before dawn.

I'm on the highway,
The highway to hell.
There is the border,
I've taken my last friendly farewell.

I'm off the highway,
The highway to hell.
I have my gun back,
And Eh, I survived hell.

There is yet another tune at my sand dune. Just popped in the other day so gave it a go in the usual smart ass way. Ever been on such a highway to hell? Maybe tickets to moose rides I should sell? It would sure save on gas and make some money for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Let's All Sing A Long To When Headers Go Wrong!

So many have seen the cat's face on many a header at my place. There are many versions of me and even some of thee. Almost 20 or so you will randomly get here. Wouldn't it be scary to have 20 versions of my little rhyming rear? But not all go right. Warning, may offend your sight.

You may have seen this.
This was a bit of a miss.
But I used it in fun.
Hey, scared everyone.
Need to scare the rats away,
Or to Mary Kirkland's bay,
Feel free to grab and use.
Pat's man boobs can abuse.
That is the drawback,
About working with those from the cheap shack.
They barely speak English at all.
You never know what you'll get to put on the wall.
 Case and point!
Want this on top of my joint?
Grammar Nazi as santa is at play.
I'm sure that would make his day.

Not even sure who the jailbird is.
Maybe I should throw a pop quiz?
Grammar Nazi is throwing the book at him though.
Then look at the other two that show.

One was supposed to have a numb tongue.
Looks like she really popped a lung.
Rather umm err busty too.
Betsy, will a whoopsy do?

Then that is supposed to be a worm.
Around ones neck it does squirm.
She is rather umm err busty too.
Manzi sure dropped a decade or two.

Then there is the cat.
I can be as regal as that.
But I may not have such comic flare.
Plus I have different color hair.

Some just turn out like this,
Good, but a bit of a miss.
Not as provocative as above though.
Grammar Nazi may sure give a ho ho ho.

And now I leave you with a final one.
It will sure make you run.
Cover your eyes while you are able.
This one won't ever go in a fable.

Damn, Pat has some hairy arm pits. I will grab the hair and rip it to bits. So were you scared today? Some of those, mainly Pat, sure had to make you want to run away. Now I will goes wash my eyes and let loose some gas, straight out my ever so regal little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

The Only One Under The Sun?

Don't you find it grand when all across the land nuts think there is only one answer for something? I guess admitting they are wrong or there is another way must sting?

That is the way.
Join the fray.
It is 100% fact.
That is how you act.

That is how you speak.
That is how you take a leak.
Don't think another way.
Just do what I say.

PC is the way to be.
Don't disagree with me.
Go with the flow,
Then you'll be in the know.

That is the way you get ahead.
That is the way things should be read.
That is the way you live your life.
That is who you want for your wife.

Don't question a thing.
Stay oblivious at your wing.
Just do what is said.
Don't worry your pretty little head.

That is what is wrong.
That is the correct song.
That is how you march.
Don't add too much starch.

That is what you eat.
That is a fine treat.
That GMO is great.
There is no reason for hate.

That you can watch.
That is a clear botch.
Do it again,
Or I'll break out the red pen.

That is how you learn.
That is how you take your turn.
That is how you nod.
That is how you pray to God.

This is how it is done.
This is how you have fun.
This is the way it must be.
No other solution for thee.

Isn't it fun that with this or that is exactly how everything must be done? Always some sort of guideline on how things should run, even if there is another way or something else you want to say. But nope, fluoride heads hang onto the rope. That is the way that must come to pass. Pffffft is all that needs to be said by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Weird And Wacky, Maybe Even Tacky!

You know where you can go as I have said at my show. But what can you do if you want some dough at your zoo? Easy as can be. You can dance naked with glee. Don't believe me? Just wait and see.

You can do this or that,
To be a rich cat.
Or at least get some pocket change,
There on your range.

Write anything on a cookie.
That would impress a wookie.
Do a Mickey Mouse impression.
Maybe some type of confession?

Dance like a horse holding a sign.
My, wouldn't that be divine?
Be an eye popper!
Might call a copper.

Be a redneck and get drunk.
You already seen that funk.
Say anything while washing dishes.
My, I can see the wishes.

Do 5 pushups with a child on your back.
That is a winner at every shack.
Text someone a picture of your creepy face.
That is one all must embrace.

Hit your friend in the stomach or face.
That sure will be bought at a high pace.
Send you positive thoughts.
That will be bought lots.

Write your message and make a creepy doll hold it.
That one will be an instant hit.
Cast an ancient return love spell.
Warning, you may end up in hell.

Be your night owl friend.
Awww bet it's a growing trend.
For 30 minutes I will chat about anything.
Yep, growing like talking through cups and string.

Share my favorite fake blood recipe.
Oh golly gee whiz, will thee?
Prank call someone for you.
Oops, caller ID came due.

Make a crazy face.
Another face embrace.
Run mayonnaise on my fat belly and sing happy birthday!
Ummm errr okay!

See, there is much you can do to make some dough at your zoo. Sadly, yes all of these are true. They are being done just for you. Would you not like the last? I bet it would be a umm blast. I guess you could do all in mass, just don't tell my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Catch Each One With My Run!

Little rhyming ass and whoopdi friggin doo have come to pass, but that is just here. What are others that perk up your ear? Are there ones you know? Let's see with my flow.

Nanu nanu!
I stole your shoe.
God will get you for that!
He wouldn't smite a cat.

He'd blow me out of sight?
Who loves ya, baby?
Marcia, marcia, marcia, maybe?

Eat my shorts.
Some new sports?
No soup for you!
I don't eat it at my zoo.

Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose.
Unless the bottle you abuse.
Did I do that?
Beats the cat.

Yabba dabba doo!
That beats the cat too.
Look up in the sky! It's a bird, it's a plane, it's Superman.
Nope, just a flying trash can.

Just one more thing!
Is it some sort of ring?
You rang?
I never heard a clang.

Here's what happened you say?
The bad guy got away?
Book em, Danno!
All he did was steal a piano.

This tape will self destruct in five seconds.
Curiosity beckons.
To the Batmobile!
Has lost its appeal.

Hey bub!
No, don't want a belly rub.
Kiss my grits!
Nah, the cat likes armpits.

Get them all,
With my catchphrase call?
Come now don't be coy,
Good night, John Boy!

You had to get one or two as the catchphrases came due. At least the first two as they are used all the time at my zoo. See, I at least made it so you could not get a big fat zero. Isn't the cat your hero? Now one more catchphrase has to come to pass as I walk off shaking my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Best Of The Best, Forget The Rest!

The cat is in two places today. Double the rhyming as he guest's at this bay!

Ever notice how things are so grand across the land? Then you get them and they suck. Of course you may think you just have rotten luck. But there could be more to it at your pit.

This is grand,
This is great.
Across the land,
Owning is your fate.

This casino is #1.
It is like no other.
You can win a ton.
Can be used by your mother.

This document will get you rich.
Come and see.
Just scratch that itch.
You to can live free.

This laptop is the best.
You need it indeed.
It beats all the rest.
It has such high speed.

This site is well worth it.
Just go and see.
It may cost a bit,
But it will impress thee.

This program has it all.
Download it today.
You need it at your hall.
It's only a little pay.

This will help you lose weight.
I bet you will love it.
On your next date,
You will be a hit.

This hotel rocks.
Stay there you must.
It will blow off your socks,
You can even find lust.

This airline is top notch.
They beat everyone.
They even serve scotch.
They make flying fun.

I rated them all,
Just here for you.
Just check my wall,
You will see all is true.

Don't they all sound grand across the land? But if you take a little look you can see they are affiliates at their nook. So what else are they going to say? Stay away? Nope, they want their percentage to come due. So it is so great and grand at their zoo. And if you don't like number one they have nine more to give a run. They are almost as great with each pass. Thankfully no one is affiliated with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Make Them Pay At Their Bay!

So have you ever wanted to make someone pay? I bet you have at your bay. Now I have a tip for you. It rhymes with you too. Seen this a while ago and had to give it a go.

You neighbor is a jerk,
This would be a perk.
You'd surely settle the score.
Wait until you find out more.

That family member is insane.
But you can't ship them on a train.
At least not legally anyway.
But come what may.

Are you in the know?
Ready for it to show?
Just wait and see.
Payback will come for thee.

That boss needs to die.
But then you'd fry.
Don't get all murder crazy.
This will make their eyesight hazy.

A blogger really stinks,
You've given them a few winks.
Maybe you want to stop their mess?
Easy to do if you have their address.

Have you guessed yet?
Nope, is what I bet.
But we are getting there.
Wait for it at my lair.

Your ex left you high and dry,
They even made you cry.
We can't have that.
Get payback, stat!

That mechanic ripped you off.
You could sit and scoff.
But there is a better way,
To make that mechanic pay.

Or anyone at all,
There at your hall.
It could make them mad,
Maybe just a tad.

And what is it?
I think its a hit.
And it rhymes a bit.
Why it's elephant shit.

That is right! Poop Senders will help you in your fight. You have elephant, gorilla and cow. I don't even want to know how. Saw it on DWei's blog a while back. I had to give it a shout out at my shack. Payback that way won't get you thrown in some prison bay. Now you can mail crap in mass. It doesn't even come from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Two Light Hearted Fools Leave The Coast And Meet A Ghost!

They have come back once again and they are at a giant litter box den. Nope, not that Bora Bora place. I guess today the desert they embrace.

There they are,
At a giant sand bar.
It works for me,
Where ever I can pee.

But then there is a ghost.
I guess they invaded their coast.
It states that when in view
While ripping off a movie or two.

I guess the ghost is holy.
Nope, not holy moly.
But that can work as well,
As it damns them to hell.

The holy ghost writer,
Can't pull an all nighter.
He needs a story now.
So he wants the two nuts to wow.

Zapping them here and there,
Without a single care.
But does a story come due?
I guess you'll just have to view.

Wow, with a title like that the book will have to be bigger than a cat. All those words won't fit on one page. Unless so tiny they look like seed in a bird cage. I guess rip offs always seem to come to pass, even one made up by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, September 22, 2014

The Cat Will Play With The Ninja Wannabe Today!

The cat can't resist movies at his sea. So I joined the blogfest of the ninja wannabe. I had to move a post or two around as well. That can just cause my ocd hell. But what the heck. Some movies can hit the deck. So favorites few have heard of you say. I can do that at my bay.

Calvin Fuller: Look, Your Majesty, I don't want to insult you or anything, but are you nuts? This isn't the castle. This is the real, in-your-face, carjacking, drive-by-shooting, kill-you-for-your-Reeboks street life. 

A fun kid one,
That I remember giving a run.
 But it seems no ones recalls it.
He did help make American Pie a hit.

Sheriff: [to Buck] Doing that time in there didn't do a damn thing for you, did it? You were an asshole then and you're a 'bigger' asshole now!

Not sure if still good.
But liked it years ago at my hood.
Some clever tricks,
To kill the biker hicks.

Alex Furlong: Give it up, Vacendak. You couldn't catch a cold. You couldn't catch the clap in a whorehouse!

A fun live forever movie,
Before the whole dystopian thing got groovy.
A really good idea too.
Been a while since I gave it a view.

Max Landsberger: Lesson No.4: the secret to survival here is never make a decision.
Jack Issel: Never?
Max Landsberger: Never. The minute you do, you're screwed. 

This one was fun,
When I gave it a run.
A bit weird though,
With a peculiar flow.

Dan Bartlett: They call me 'Mr. Determined.'

Watched it many a time.
 Well worth the dime.
Has to get the girl,
No matter what sends him for a whirl.

Matt Douglas: You're a whore. Admit it. Admit you're a big whore. Go ahead.
Russell Kramer: Name three women from the District of Columbia that you didn't bang when you were in office - what am I talking about? Name one.
Matt Douglas: Screw you.
Russell Kramer: Blow me.

One of the best buddy travel movies going,
Next to Midnight Run's showing.
Everybody out to kill them both,
As they have to get south.

The Father: You've got a terrible case of "nobody tells me what to do".

Watched it a while back.
Liked what I saw at my shack.
It had a ghostbuster too.
So that works for my zoo.

Matt Halloran: You are something, kid. Killed all my best men and you're still standing. What do you say we make a deal? You work for me as my own personal hit guy? 

This one isn't even on DVD.
I think it was made for TV.
Watched it a few times a while ago.
Definitely enjoyed the show.

Dr. Verboven: Jack, Jesus Christ would never point a gun at another human being.
Jack McDermott: Stay out of my psychosis! Now get your ass in that van.

Just watched this one the other day.
Fun is had at the loonie bay.
Or at least when they go away,
And the loons get left astray.

Brantley Foster: Please God, help me get out of this. I swear I'll go all over the world telling people not to screw the boss's wife.

Fun to give a go,
As he runs to and fro,
Living two lives at his sea.
Even sleeping with his auntie.

Seen any of them at your sea? Those were the rare ones that were/are enjoyed by me. Of course there are many more but these popped in first at my shore. And there you go for the ninja wannabe's blogfest pass. Some more movies from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

No Matter The Amount You Count!

So did you ever think about while sitting bored or playing out, the amount of times in the day when you count away? Haven't caught on to me yet? Just follow the flow of the pet.

Start your day,
To your dismay.
Early to rise,
Still not so wise.

Count the minutes to work,
With that boss jerk.
Unless the boss jerk is you,
Then you just count at your zoo.

Count the seconds to go,
Before food is ready to show.
You have to eat,
Before the walk down the street.

Count the miles you walk,
Or bike or just stalk.
Or more than likely drive,
Hopefully you survive.

Count the miles to go,
Before an oil change is to show.
Or the tires need be changed.
Maybe the car needs to be rearranged.

Count the seconds of the day,
Until you can be on your way.
Count the hours for your pay.
The government takes half anyway.

Count the stairs you climb.
Hey, it's done by a mime.
Or maybe one with OCD.
No, never done by me.

Count the reps you workout.
Sometimes you even shout.
You want all to see,
Big old muscle-y thee.

Count the birds in your yard.
Hopefully past ten isn't hard.
Count the days until you mow.
Don't mow over your toe.

Count the days of the week.
Count your age at your creek.
Count the squares on the wall.
You simply count it all.

Who said math would never be used. I know, you feel abused. All that counting you never thought about. But now the counting jig is out. Or would that be up? Go ask a pup. I will count the times I pass gas out my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

No Need To Scoff, Just A Little Off!

Ever have a word of three at your sea that looks right but it is spelled wrong? I have come to find a few as I sing my daily rhyming song.

I go all whalla at my sea.
I have done the whalla spree.
Oopsy, my french sucks.
Viola it is, aww shucks.

Then one from before,
Went all flare at my shore.
Fine if a signal I need to send,
But flair is the correct trend.

Another has to do with spit,
And my ocd did not let me spell it.
Yeah, we'll go with that,
Flem = phlegm at every mat.

Those three are mine,
That were caught by the feline.
I'm sure there are more.
I find some as I explore.

Libary I've seen a time or ten.
I guess they like berries at their den.
I wonder if they are tasty too?
I guess a library could tell you.

Harrass I came across.
Maybe they didn't floss?
Nope, R it wasn't you.
I won't harass and turn you blue.

One lit a fire,
Going firey to aspire.
I guess fiery is a liar.
Fire must be dire.

Gage was a fun one.
Looks right when done.
But I couldn't gauge it.
Maybe they both are a hit.

Believe me I have seen,
Many pop up on screen.
Beleve me I say,
They are on display.

But I don't care.
Just what I've seen at my or another lair.
I accommadate all.
Oh yeah, accommodate at my hall.

Any words you flip flop when away they drop? Seen any at any other sea that stick out to thee? Catch a few of mine yet? That is a safe bet. Many sure do come to pass. But oh well, says my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, September 19, 2014

Not A One Dumb? I Will Dispute That Chum!

So they say there is no such thing as a dumb question near and far. I bet I could disprove that theory at my sand bar. Want to take that bet? What? Are you afraid of a little rhyming pet?

Can frogs hop?
Nope, they walk and bop.
Is dirty dirt dirty?
Redundant or weird and flirty?

Can a fly fly?
Give it a try.
Does a house house you?
Some may read that wrong in view.

Is what is good for the goose good for the gander?
Not if the goose has dander.
Can a car with no tires go?
Sure, if in the sea you want to row.

Is what's on TV real?
Let's play deal or no deal.
Does water taste water like?
Unless some dye takes a hike.

Can a ninja wannabe be a wannabe?
It's a wannabe of a ninja wannabe spree.
Can a Gawker gawk?
Nah, they just talk.

Does a pusher push?
Might even grope your tush.
Do you dodge at dodgeball?
Nope, just line up on the wall.

Does a workout work you out?
Nah, you just twist and shout.
Does music make noise?
Even when experiencing umm joys.

Is a wall flat?
Flat as a mat.
Do hats go on your head?
Nope, they cover things in bed.

Do you eat food?
Unless it is crude.
Are toys matter?
Even if served up on a platter.

Are numb tongues numb?
I'd say, chum.
How foolish is a light hearted fool?
Somewhere between normal and those who drool.

See, I win! Cough up the dough at my bin. What, you did not bet? Don't try and renege on the cat. I will send a bone breaker after you. Okay, maybe just fleas to your knees at your zoo. So now you know dumb questions can come to pass, all thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

That Makes Three Here At My Sea!

So here we are once more at my sand bar. It seems like any other day as I have a post on display. But it is a little different somehow. Today the cat can kind of wow.

Three years in a row,
Here at my show.
Not a day missed,
Not even with a bum wrist.

Pays to be far ahead,
Then you can rest when you feel dead.
And a rant and rave,
Can come in for the save.

Whether a thought or rant,
Things show at my plant,
Each and every day.
3 whole years today.

Now don't get confused,
Yes, I've abused.
I may have amused,
Some brain cells may have fused,

But this isn't the day,
I started my bay,
Just the day I went hey,
Let's post every day.

You can't shut a mouthy cat up,
As bad as a yappy pup.
But at least we don't eat our own crap,
Or another's across the map.

Back on task,
What is that you ask?
Bragging a bit,
Don't hiss and spit.

It doesn't become you,
You look funny too.
But I'll pretend you don't.
Wait! No I won't.

Yep, a mean old cat.
And a bit of a dingbat.
But crazy is the way to be,
Here at my rhyming sea.

But who is crazier in the end?
The cat or those who visit my rhyming trend?
Hmmm especially some that come every day,
Like old numb tongue to have her say.

So who is crazier? I can pick out who is lazier. But I think crazy still goes to me. Although I've got you close behind me at my sea. And now 3 years in a row have come to pass. I am sure 4 will happen from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Another Place To Embrace!

So we will journey once more across the Earth at my shore. To places that are strange and to get there, may cost a chunk of change. But at least we can sit and see all of them for free.

The eye of Africa is its name.
I guess it is something of fame.
40km in diameter it is,
With its circular biz.

A Richat Structure is what it is called,
I guess round and round rocks gets balled.
Or something like that.
That goes right over the cat.

But the so called legitimate reason,
We will ignore for a season.
Why? Because it's more fun,
To give the theories a run.

A meteor landed and went boom,
Causing all sorts of doom.
That is one way to go,
But they say it would leave a different blow.

I guess all meteors land the same?
That is rather lame.
And I doubt it too.
But lets pretend at my zoo.

Then there is one,
That is more fun.
An ancient bomb was set off.
The aliens did it, cough cough.

Anubis was fed up,
He was one weird standing pup.
So he set the bomb off there,
To prove his power and make all care.

They bowed down to the aliens after that.
Making them pyramids, stat!
Until one faithful day,
When the aliens went away.

But the bomb mark remains,
Seen by all sorts of planes.
The aliens left their mark,
So you know too fear their bark.

Or it was just a rounding rock,
That comes as no shock.
That is just dull though,
I vote for the alien blow.

Now you have gone to Africa at my sea. There live the ancestors of me. Bad grammar I know. But who cares when aliens can strike such a blow. I need a big bomb shelter of a super class to protect my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Round Twenty Six With Stones And Sticks!

So another round has come due. They sure must like being in view. The strange just never stop coming here. I guess they like my little rhyming rear. Hopefully not literally though. That would be creepy you know.

"fat person on ground laughing"

What they can't be standing? Maybe you just want to see them expanding?

"batrachophagous animals"

There are many I bet. But sorry, no frogs for this pet.

"ayahuasca herz"

Going to get high? Hope you don't die.

"if i had a nickel i buy a pickle"

If I had a dime, I'd make you suck a lime.

"mooning granny"

So you like a wrinkly fanny? I guess you are uncanny.

"Sly stuff in my brain"

What kind of stuff? Is it like your teddy bear and just fluff?

"Nic Cage the astronaut hair plunger"

Ummm errr a swirly for Cage? That might bring rage.

"Cats in my ear"

No Q-tip will work I fear. Hope you can still hear.

"I ned a dat tat fin brah"

Good luck with that brah, you may just get a hahahaha.

"My fridge is talking to me"

Call a Ghost Buster quick. He will stop that dick.

"Yowling mating humans"

Errr ummm none here. The blue guy may be able to help with such a cheer.

"My little toe is hurting"

As long as blood isn't spurting you can continue flirting.

"Can I jump off a building and live"

Give it a try, I'd bet nothing that you fly.

"Horse treats taste great"

I'll take your word for it, mate. Is eating hay or grass your fate?

And the winner for today really will make you go wtf at your bay. I guess they are hard up or something. Could be a bad choice of words at my wing.

My neighbors orgy won't let me play

That could be good you know. No, std's could show. Although if the neighbor is within hearing you may have to suffer through their ummm cheering. Not sure how with each pass these nuts find my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Gung And Ho...Oh No!

So a while back at my shack there was a mention of a thing that gave an idea a ring. Gung and Ho should get their own book. I don't blame you if you don't give it a look. These two are nuts. Now they are in trash ruts.

Gung Ho!
Need a foe.
Gung and Ho,
Waited for the phone to crow.

They could stop all.
They just need a call.
Gung Ho was in business for weeks,
They weren't even called by geeks.

Then one faithful day,
A call came to their bay.
There was too much trash on the road.
So they went into super mode.

Super for them is who knows,
But at least they could strike a pose.
They set out to pick up trash.
Maybe them and the convicts would clash?

But nope!
No one who can't drop the soap.
Instead the Trash King,
Was letting trash fling.

So now they have super powers too. All trash related at their zoo. So if you ever need to take out the trash, give them a call and trash they can bash. And now another book has come to pass from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

A Little Play With Words Again At My Den!

There are some sayings that are easy to poke fun of indeed. Then there are some that make no sense at ones feed. Then there are some that can be either or. Let's go with them at my shore.

The pen is mightier than the sword.
Sure, a pen can sign an award.
It can make you rich.
But stabbed with a sword leaves you dead in a ditch.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Well it would be easy to eat for thee.
No exercise for poor old you.
Of course a clunk may come due.

When Hell freezes over.
Might be liked by rover.
They jump through the snow.
Plus you could put on a Disney on ice show.

God gave us the nuts but he doesn't crack them.
The other day saw this gem.
Cracking them gives you some work to do.
But they may get a crack if you piss off someone at your zoo.

Keep your head about you.
Saves you from being headless at your zoo.
Then a head you won't have to find.
But sadly, you can still lose your mind.

Leave no stone unturned.
You may get sun burned.
But work those muscles out a ton.
Isn't lifting stones fun?

Stick to your guns.
Could always scare tons.
But if stuck on you,
You may spend a lot on super glue.

Slow and steady wins the race.
The sun and smells you get to embrace.
But you still lose to the bunny.
Hey, at least it was sunny.

A penny for your thoughts.
You could learn lots,
And be rich too.
Okay, one of the two.

Cross that bridge when we come to it.
Look, more exercise to keep you fit.
You may end up out of breath,
But it's better than jumping off to your death.

There you are once again here at my den. Do you stick to your guns and give people the runs? That may smell. Cracking nuts could be a hard sell. Thankfully I am snip snip at my grass. So no cracking needed for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Special For You At Your Zoo!

Ever go and see a special edition in front of thee? Of course you did. Unless you are a strictly indoor kid. But that would be a shame. Hey, could have called you an underwater squid with my claim.

You got something new.
So nice at your zoo.
New is relative too.
But been there, done that in view.

Then you see,
You aren't in the special tree.
Nope, not like the short bus.
Drazin is on that giving a fuss.

Instead you missed out.
The special edition they shout.
You missed out on that car,
With its own special liquor bar.

That movie was great.
But missing was your fate.
A whole 5 minutes of behind the scenes,
With a bunch of dancy prancy teens.

What about the house?
You may have got mighty mouse,
A statue that is.
But no special biz.

That is right.
You missed out that night.
No staircase for you,
It was taken to a new zoo.

Hmm Richard Pryor movie I think.
You didn't even get the kitchen sink.
You skipped out on the special edition.
Now you get the alleyway admission.

But you got a great game.
It is far from tame.
Shoot and maim,
What's his name.

Oopsy you missed out.
Gamer rage scream and shout.
That helmet would have been great.
A storm trooper could have been your fate.

Don't forget the special edition shoes.
Skip them and you may get the blues.
That logo is so grand.
You need it or else they'll look bland.

Are you up to the task? You may get a special edition Obama mask. Wouldn't that be so great? Come and take the special edition bait. More dough you have to spend and just a little more crap we send. No need to miss out and sass. Trust the special edition of my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Sit And Fret With An Are We There Yet?

The other day the cat was in the car and of course one of those whiny humans was as we went to that other sand bar. The cat had to plug his ears, worse than rusted car gears.

Are we there yet?
Is a safe bet.
It always come due.
A time or two.

Nope, a ways to go.
Look at that wind blow.
I'll bite your toe.
Then you can crow.

Are we there yet?
Does it look like the needs are met?
Does it look like the car is stopped,
And out you are plopped?

I have to pee?
Leave me be.
Hold it I say.
Yeah, the cat is mean at our bay.

I still have to pee.
Still leave me be.
Look at the sky.
Think about pie.

Are we there yet?
No, you can't pet.
Keep those fingers away.
Kitty doesn't want to play.

I really have to pee.
Clench each knee.
Geez, we need a litter box,
Or maybe just use your socks.

Are we there yet?
Needs still aren't met.
Look for something blue.
I am not giving you a clue.

I am going to pee.
You better stay away from me.
Go in a bush.
Careful for things may bite your tush.

I no longer have to pee.
It came out of me.
Are we there yet?
Nasty and annoying you are to the pet.

Never fear, a bathroom was found near. One of those nasty public restroom places. Pat made a few nasty faces. Cassie just rolled her eyes. Don't they ever get tired of the same old cries? The cat may just prefer the canine mass. At least all they do is sniff my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

And Yet Another One To Put In A Bun!

So they can't beat the cat, I meow and swat and they all scat, which means they try and add more to their crew. They will never beat me even if they have a whole zoo.

The cat goes to the other sea,
And you can tell I'm not happy.
 Put there is room to run,
And swatting the other cats can be fun.

See, they know to stay away.
I rule even their bay.
That puffball has nothing on me.
It is one big hairball kitty.

They are everywhere.
Cassie is nicer at their lair.
I'd swat that one too.
Yep, even if sleeping, it is true.

Their army gets their tummy full,
But they still have no pull.
I jump out and they scatter.
Hey, saves them from getting fatter.

And you remember the hot dog.
He also travels through that bog.
But his tail is so fun to chew.
I can chase him away too.

And then there is the huge mutt.
She always wants to sniff my butt.
I don't like that one bit.
On her I should take a big umm spit.

See, can't even rest.
They are such a pest.
One tries, then the other.
Glad it isn't my brother.

They stampede my gate.
But out is still their fate.
They won't get into my room.
Cassie will surely cause them doom.

And here is the next hot dog.
Why don't they get a frog?
Technically it will be a cousin though.
So won't always be there when to the other sea I go.

But this is the end.
Their army can't buck my trend.
All dogs and cats there but Cass,
Can kiss my little rhyming ass.

Now the cat has to deal with ten cats and three dogs when there, at least sometimes at the other lair. Thankfully they will all run away, except the big mutt on display. But Cassie takes care of her, as she puffs up her fur. I take care of the other eleven when we trespass. Those are fine odds for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

You Must Pick Or Get Beat With A Stick!

Ever have that dumb question at your sea about which is better to thee? And it isn't so dumb to ask. But then you MUST answer one of the other and pull back the mask.

Answer what I ask,
It's an easy task.
Just pick one.
Both don't count in my run.

Batman or Superman?
Can't be a both fan.
Broccoli or pickles?
No picking ice sickles.

Cats or dogs?
Easy, the one with no brown logs?
Gerbils or Rats?
No, you can't pick gnats.

Hat or bow?
Neither can't show.
Car or truck?
No saying umm duck.

Ninjas or ninja wannabes?
Don't look at your knees.
Kindle or book?
Don't give me that look.

Math or french?
No hitting the bench.
Movies or TV?
Different to see.

Apartment or house?
Not asking the mouse.
Clothed or nude?
Don't be a prude.

Climb or swim?
Pick on a whim.
City or town?
Might win a crown.

Spider Man or Iron Man?
Both is still a ban.
Cookie or candy?
Not whatever is handy.

Answer today.
Don't delay.
I must know.
Neither or both is a no go!

Now wasn't that fun? Don't you feel like answering a ton? You have to pick or they question asker makes it seem like they will give you a lick. That is just crass. But then again, I do lick my own little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Another Movie For You To View!

So the cat is making millions off his previous movies that he made. Yep, the golden bricks are sure laid. What? You don't believe me? Just look at this next 100 million gem at my sea.

The world is in the crapper.
Not only do people eat the candy wrapper,
But now they mimic a horse.
They have horse ass hair and run a course.

It is driving them mad.
Horse ass hair at ever pad.
Just look at those eyes.
All believe the lies.

They even sing it out with glee.
Horse ass hair for all to see.
Sing it once more.
They like an encore.

Even the bald pretend.
All have gone around the bend.
See that big hat.
He is wishing for horse ass hair at his mat.

It is even spreading to dogs.
No longer can they enjoy brown logs.
Instead they have to have horse ass hair.
They aren't happy at their lair.

It comes in all colors to.
Whatever can the planet do?
How will Earth survive such a plague?
Is the outcome still vague?

If you don horse ass hair,
You turn into something more rare.
A teeny tiny lizard head comes forth.
It is even spreading far north.

Who are they going to call?
A killer barbie doll?
Hey, she has a big gun.
She attempts to put horse ass hair on the run.

Brains are dissected as well.
They have to determine this hell.
And when it is all said and done,
They learn the true meaning under the sun.

 The aliens put the notion in everyone's head.
They are tired of the dread.
Having an ass for a head was no fun.
So they decided humans would have a brand new hair bun.

So are you all ready to go to the movie picture show? There you will see this at a theater near you and it will be quite the view. Will humans overcome the horse ass hair? I guess you will have to see at your lair. The cat can now retire with his box office takes that come to pass. I am such a lucky little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, September 8, 2014

A Little Social Play Here Today!

Back we are with some ABC's of Rhyme Time near and far. This time we give social media a go. Hey, at least it is a different flow.

A is for attack, which many tend to do.
They can give flack but can't take any from you.
B is for big, those numbers and all.
Can't look like a twig, ready to fall.

C is for cute, the thing to use,
When in need of a parachute to light a post fuse.
D is for dead, what many sites fall under,
Can't get it through their head they just can't plunder.

E is for eating, all that fun food.
All should be treating, a diet is rude.
F is for fat, because it simply works.
An annoying gnat with 10,000 word post perks.

G is for great, the trait of one and all.
That is their fate, read the writing on the wall.
H is for hell, raise a little at your sea.
Even if you can't spell, people will flock to thee.

I is for idols, your great old shrine.
Even with no vitals yours is divine.
J is for joke, the tried and the true,
But don't choke, most steal those too.

K is for knowing and never being wrong.
Your great showing should be made into song.
L is for load, what can become of a place,
That remains in K mode for every embrace.

M is for milk, that nasty old dairy.
You continue to bilk thinking new is scary.
N is for nadda, the I have nothing to post.
But you still yadda yadda there at your coast.

O is for out, the one with a catch.
For with each shout, you want another to fetch.
P is for pat, no not the human to the cat.
For you want one stat, to prove you're where it's at.

Q is for quote, to make you sound smart.
Hoping all will take note and follow your cart.
R is for right, which you must prove.
Always wanting to fight avoiding the wrong groove.

S is for slacker, which some like to be.
But then become an attacker because none visit their sea.
T is for tips, all are willing to share,
After you do a few flips because they are so rare.

U is for urges. not the gutter kind.
That one never purges, giving a piece of their mind.
V is for vine, where you heard the news.
It is all fine, listening to vines you can't lose.

W is for word verification, which is you lose,
Here at my absurd station, I may just abuse.
X is for xerox, the copy and paste.
Unless going through detox, forget that post haste.

Y is for Yahoo and answers to all.
Up the wazoo you can read things on its answer wall.
Z is for zapped, you are so worn out.
Your muse has been capped, scream and shout.

There we go, quite the social media flow. The cat enjoys a rant or two, even in the abc's he can do. You can't stop the cat at my mat. You may have luck with that singing bass, but not my abc little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

The Slacker Rhyme Just One Time!

Everyone and there dog can do this. Yep, even the butt sniffers can have a little rhyming bliss. But the cat thought he would just show that you can make anything rhyme in a row.

I bet I gotcha.
Gotcha smutcha.
Did you just turn orange?
Orange porange.

Wow, you must be ecstatic.
Ecstatic schmatic.
Now all can rhyme gigantically.
Gigantically figantcally.

Spell check is in displeasure.
Displeasure, smishpleasure.
Must think I'm off my rocker.
Rocket, focker.

Quoting a movie?
Movie, shmovie.
Notice how S is a whopper?
Whopper, smopper.

So just add S in unison.
Unison, moonison.
Well the screwed that theory.
Theory, smeory.

Make up your psyche.
Psyche, likey.
Guess I need to change the locks.
Locks, schmocks.

That the same as schmucks?
Schmucks, ducks.
That one was real.
Real, teal.

Two in a row.
Row, schmo.
Make that three.
Three, schmee.

Your streak is diluted.
Diluted, smitooted.
Passing gas at house?
House, schmouse.

What if I go ummm duck.
Duck, schmuck.
So it is a backwards challenge?
Challenge smallenge.

Are you one of those rhymers at your sea who make fake words up with glee? Just nod and agree. I know you like it easy. Easy peasy! See, I even let it come to pass. But no need to force rhymes out my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

How Long Do You Wait Before Closing The Gate?

So the other day as the cat was out and about at his bay, I was being lazy and gave an oopsy daisy. Yeah, I used the elevator at my sea and did not wait for another person to join me. But he was far far away. He never asked to stop it anyway.

How long do you wait,
Before you close the gate?
Do you sit and stare,
And fiddle with your hair?

Do you watch the slow,
Who obviously can go.
But instead choose to walk slow,
Then if you leave they blow.

Pffft to those.
They don't smell like a rose.
If they want on,
Get there before dawn.

Do you wait for the slacker,
Who is a lazy man packer?
Taking 50 things at once,
Dropping everything like a dunce.

If they are near,
Have no fear.
But if they drop non stop,
Waiting is a flop.

What if you wait,
And they do a better trait.
They take the stairs.
Wasted time for your cares.

What if they yell to you,
But then move slow like glue?
Do you still wait,
Or ignore them with the slow trait?

Or maybe they give a yell,
And you hold for a spell.
They flap their trap,
To some other chap.

Do you still wait?
Could be a new date,
By the time they are through.
What if you have to use the loo?

How long do you wait,
Before you close the gate?
Is there a golden rule,
Or do you just hit all the buttons like a fool?

So how long do you wait? Asked that five times at my gate. Okay, maybe four. Who knows with this rhyming tour. I hit the button and off I go. Pffft to them if they are too slow. It will come back down for another pass after it's done delivering my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, September 5, 2014

A Magic Fate On This Date!

The cat was out and about when he heard a nut human shout, "It said No!" down in the dumps I go. I looked around the corner to see. The nut was on a magic 8 ball spree.

Need an answer now?
Don't have a cow.
It will come some how.
Magic 8 ball, wow!

Shake, shake, shake,
You're going to drown in a lake.
Damn, it is mean.
At least it keeps things clean.

Tomorrow you die!
Nope, I don't lie.
You are good and dead.
That is what I said.

You win the lottery this week!
Enough money to fill a creek.
Did you jump up and down?
Just kidding, now don't frown.

What was that?
Do I like your hat?
Nope, it is crap.
Sorry you silly chap.

Should I rob a bank?
Yes! You need gas in the tank.
You listened to me?
No wonder you are no longer free.

Should I date her?
Nope, she can't purr.
Wait! She was the one.
Oopsy, aren't I fun?

Will I get a raise?
Sit there and gaze.
Thinking, thinking, maybe.
Best you'll get out of me.

Shaking me twice?
Oh how nice.
Still maybe for you.
Did you expect something new?

Shake, shake, shake,
Don't you want to partake?
Ask me a question today,
I won't lead you astray.

Got any questions for the magic 8 ball? My, they are quite rude at their hall. They talk back to you. Now if you believe that to be true, you may just be a nut and have less brain cells than a mutt. The cat got a little crass, but that is alright to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

A Little dVerse Tale Hits The Trail!

The cat is a bit late but that is what happens when so many posts ahead is my fate. Still the cat had to have some dVerse play with Claudia's artwork on display.

The snow creatures were lost,
Thanks to old Jack Frost.
But they were determined to get home.
So they began their long roam.

They passed a band,
Who wanted a hand.
But the snow creatures roared.
They were a scary horde.

They got offered a job,
From some dude named, Bob.
$2 to mow a lawn.
They weren't some pawn.

They thought they found their mother.
But then they found she was another.
Aliens were melting her.
They ran away protecting their fur.

The magic washing machine lied.
It said they would change the Tide.
But Tide went all over the floor.
They didn't like that chore.

The ruler of this strange place,
Sprayed them with mace.
She was a mean old bitty.
She gave the snow creatures no pity.

They had heard the tale of Peter Pan.
So they thought that was a plan.
They would fly home by the moon,
When the clock ran away with the spoon.

Or was that a dish?
Either way they got their wish.
The snow creatures believed and they flew.
A cow greeted them by the moon with a moo.

They made it home to the great white plains.
Jack Frost's disciples were causing pains.
They had locked the alligators away.
The snow creatures made them all pay.

They got their paint and brush,
And soon they were flush.
They erased Jack Frost from view,
And all his little disciples too.

There you are. Don't go messing with snow creatures at your sand bar. Wait! Maybe they were sheep running away from little bo beep? Hmm like my version better though. So we'll go with that at my show. Now my tale from Claudia's artwork has come to pass. Jack Frost can stay erased and keep winter far away from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.