Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Wishing You Well On The Highway To Hell!

The frog just had to belt out another tune. I guess he crossed the border to the land of this loon. He didn't seem to like it very much. I guess those loonies are weird to the touch. Maybe he needs a better ride. I'm sure that cold shrank his umm pride.


I've boarded the highway,
The highway to hell.
The border is lost,
I'm under a spell.

They took my gun,
no right to bear arms.
Those bright red mounties
Must make great fire alarms.

I had to steal monopoly,
Because my money is no good.
These bill colors are so bright,
They can't be misunderstood.

I'm on the highway,
The highway to hell.
Where is the border,
This place has a weird smell.

Maple syrup is on everything.
From chocolate to toast.
Out in the mountains of snow,
There is even a maple syrup weenie roast.

Give me my Canadian bacon,
Wait! There is none of that here.
Could Americans have invented that?
Get me out of this hemisphere.

I'm on the highway
The highway to hell.
Where is the border,
Is this some kind of wishing well?

It asks for a loonie,
Do I have to go insane?
What, now a toonie?
How do I get out of this lane.

What does that sign say?
The damn thing is in french.
When did I leave Canada,
And end up in a France trench?

I'm on the highway,
The highway to hell.
Where is the border,
Is that wearing a bell?

A man riding a moose.
That is sure a first.
And now comes a polar bear,
Quenching its thirst.

Some sort of civilization, at last.
Wait! I call a retraction on that.
They are throwing rocks at rocks,
And sweeping ice like some dingbat.

I'm on the highway,
The highway to hell.
Where is the border,
What's that they sell?

Get my very own igloo,
Two for the price of one?
Free tickets to hockey,
Is life on ice that fun?

Beer cooled in the snow,
A sight on every lawn.
Where is my gun?
I'll shoot myself, if not out of here before dawn.

I'm on the highway,
The highway to hell.
There is the border,
I've taken my last friendly farewell.

I'm off the highway,
The highway to hell.
I have my gun back,
And Eh, I survived hell.

There is yet another tune at my sand dune. Just popped in the other day so gave it a go in the usual smart ass way. Ever been on such a highway to hell? Maybe tickets to moose rides I should sell? It would sure save on gas and make some money for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

78 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Without a break # 45
      Good to stay alive!

      Hank

      Delete
    2. Still going strong
      45 isn't wrong

      Delete
  2. 'Is this some kind of wishing well?'
    What was it brought along to sell
    Smelled a bit weird
    What one feared
    Need not reveal nor needed to tell

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha but full of hell
      So have to tell for a spell

      Delete
  3. Damn thing's in French - funny.
    Didn't know one could ride a moose.
    Did you know a moose once bit my sister? Moose bites can be very painful...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wouldn't put it past many to ride a moose
      Damn, that had to hurt way worse than a goose

      Delete
  4. I did enjoy that video. Too cute. Who hasn't been on the highway to hell every now and then. It is much more fun to be on the highway to fun. Have a great day Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah much more enjoyable to be on that highway
      And not going through hell at one's bay

      Delete
  5. I was on the highway to hell yesterday
    this song could have been written for me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol no brakes to get you off?
      Did you swear and scoff?

      Delete
  6. Giving the Geico lizard a good run for his money!! Loving the backup at the end, lol!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that lizard has nothing on me
      But he may catch the frog at my sea

      Delete
  7. Hahahaha...I loved it
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Open borders work that way
    Suck you in for a stay
    Yeah it sure is hell whe polar bears drink
    And they take your guns without a blink

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha was fun to do
      As I sit in my igloo
      Making fun of both sides
      care for the moose rides?

      Delete
  8. Je ne peux pas rimer en français

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you are a liar in french
      As you can rhyme at my trench

      Delete
  9. Very fun
    as you give a Canadian run!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fun picking on easy targets here
      Especially very very stupid curling that's near

      Delete
  10. When I drive down the highway there's no telling where I'll go.
    My sense of direction is awful and I drive very slow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A gps can fix that for you
      And at least no speeding tickets will come due

      Delete
  11. what no canadian bacon? how patriotic is that...if we took the guns here there would def be a war...what wiht all the bang banging now that it is hunting season....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha no canadian bacon at all
      An american invention at your hall
      Yeah they wouldn't like that
      But they still hunt away at our canadian mat

      Delete
  12. I think that highway runs behind our house, at least it sounds that way sometimes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Time to move far away
      If it is behind you, we say

      Delete
  13. I have had days like that
    when I've been on such a highway
    hopefully today won't be like that
    and no troubles will come my way

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, instead can sing away
      And be bright and cheery at your bay
      No highway to hell
      Is needed where any dwell

      Delete
  14. Maybe I should add riding a moose on my bucket list. Or not.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Might be the end of the list
      If the moose gets pissed

      Delete
  15. I knew you Canadian bastards rode Moose. You're no different than the sheep shagging Welsh. So the rumours about your maple syrup weenies I see. I bet your Viking Woman likes that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Moose are harder to tame
      So we have a better claim to fame

      Delete
  16. Feck, that's supposed to be So the rumours about your maples syrup weenies are true. Gotta stop drinking before noon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol a retraction from you
      Hmmm let it slip you peep at maple syrup weenies at your zoo?

      Delete
  17. I love riding children's slides in the park.......must give a moose a try

    ReplyDelete
  18. smiles... i never crossed that border but i heard it is esp. hard in winter...smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh the winter can be a pain
      But it is tame I my side of the lane

      Delete
  19. Froggy, dontcha know
    You shouldn't drink and drive
    The highway to hell
    Cops will skin ya alive
    This side of the border
    Where everyone's a hoarder
    And traffic tickets are collected
    While all the fees are rejected
    So make a U-turn; do a crime
    Leave one hell for another
    On Highway 5, you'll make good time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn if you do, damned if you don't
      So maybe the froggy just won't
      Drive right into a pond
      And hop beyond

      Delete
  20. orlin N cassie

    we gived thiz toon a 10, good beet N ya can dance two it two !!!

    well, oh kay may be knot reely dance ...
    less yur stepz iz like - - - - -

    but we give de lyricz a big paws up ...♥

    pee ess...that frog haz sum grate balancin skillz on his moter bike !!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That frog can balance well indeed
      May fall over trying to dance to it at your feed

      Delete
  21. Do you think that a toonie is double the insanity? Just wonderin'...

    Purrs,
    Nissy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm that would be a good way to put it
      Crazy way more than a bit

      Delete
  22. Down south where I used to live
    Was a highway we refuse to forgive
    Fall asleep at the wheel in the middle of the night
    And you'd be on one heavenly flight
    They called it the Highway to Hell
    Long before AC/DC fared so well

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll avoid that too
      Don't want death to come due

      Delete
  23. Highway to hell?
    Can be such a bother.
    It's never too swell
    to drive to my father's.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is it the visit or the drive
      That make it hard to survive?

      Delete
  24. What a cute little frog. He's born to be wild!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Got his motor running
      Out and about sunning

      Delete
  25. I like maple syrup but not enough to put it on everything. lol

    This was another fun one...one of my favorites. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah not sure who puts in on everything
      I'm sure someone does though at their wing

      Delete
  26. I'll stay off the trans canada highway from now on

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That would be wise
      Moose drop drivers like flies

      Delete
  27. haha - this was cute and rather funny
    well you sure got some strange money
    jumped that border Mr. Frog with my list
    drove right into a giant Niagara Falls mist
    Canadians they like to ride a giant moose
    no, thanks that might hurt my caboose
    Gee, all I saw was a lot of pick up trucks
    just don't hit those wild roaming bucks..
    Riding the highway to hell
    trying to find where you dwell

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah the tush may get raw
      If you ride them and they gnaw
      So keep toes and fingers inside the moose at all times
      Or it's teeth may commit crimes
      Those bucks are everywhere
      So one sure has to beware
      Old trucks a plenty around the other sea
      But not a lot here in the city

      Delete
  28. You crazy man, Pat!
    Highway to hell is I-15 from Barstow to Las Vegas. And you can even take a side trip to Death Valley.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha crazy as can be
      Hmmm I can see why they'd call it that with Death Valley

      Delete
  29. Replies
    1. haha that be fun
      To see all give it a run

      Delete
  30. A frog on a hog
    that's quite a sight.
    I trust he's friendly
    and doesn't bite?
    The highway to hell can
    test a frog's mettle,
    better on a bike then
    his legs in a kettle.

    VR Barkowski

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, frog leg soup
      Would throw him for a loop
      Doesn't bite though
      At least i hope so

      Delete
  31. Speaking of maple syrup, my daughter told me that some Canadian money smells like maple syrup. Is she messing with me?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I can't say I've ever smelled maple syrup on money
      I doubt the money has been dipped in honey

      Delete
  32. Now you just need Meatloaf to sing these lyrics!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Maple syrup on a weenie
    Doesn't sound very dreamy
    But each to his own
    At our Canadian home

    Love the froggy
    Singing this song
    Could listen again
    Maybe all day long

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha might get stuck in your head
      and that sure would cause dread

      Delete
  34. Didn't Meatloaf sing something about going to hell and back? Maybe it was a Bat out of Hell.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lots of Hell songs out there
      Added another at my lair

      Delete