Thursday, October 16, 2014

Blogvengers Part Three, Zombies Still On A Killing Spree!

Chapter 3
Smell The Flowers
Zombies With Powers

     Pat awoke to being poked by a stick. He was startled and swatted the thing like it was a Lyme diseased tick. He looked up to find Anne in some Amazonian type outfit. Orlin let loose a hiss and spit. Cassie just licked herself while Elsie slept like a strange little cyclops elf. Drazin just shook his head, thinking he was in for more dread.
     "Drazin knew where there was the cyclops there would be the Irish."
     "What are you supposed to be? Xena?"
     "Quiet you eejits. Why did you take my bride?" Anne smacked Pat over the head with her stick. He was ready to pelt her with a brick.
     "Damn it! That hurts. Take your Hitler Xena someplace else."
     "Drazin thinks she is the crazy one this time. At least crazier than usual." Drazin's eyes glowed a bright red as Anne whacked him over the head.
      "You eejits are on your own this time. This sewer is my palace and Elsie is my bride. We are lesbian Amazonian princesses in this place." Anne declared with a sincere look on her face, for everyone else that was not the case.
     "Yep, the godly mook is right. She's gone crazy." Cassie stopped licking and moved back not wanting to suffer an Anne attack.
     "Maybe she sniffed too much paint or that manure in her garden went to her head and her brain it did taint."
     "Cat, shut up you arse licker." Anne tried to whack the cat but he was too fast and avoided that.
     Elsie finally woke up to the laughter of the group. They thought Anne was throwing them for a loop. But silence overcame them as Anne helped Elsie to her feet. Their lips then gave each other a treat.
     "Drazin can't say Drazin didn't see this coming." Drazin curled up his nose and got to his feet. He was ready to leave them and get back on the street.
     "Let's leave Xena and Old One Eye to their umm pleasures." Pat stated as he began to follow Drazin out. The two cats followed but all stopped when Anne gave a shout.
     "You are welcome to stay under my rule."
     "Drazin would rather get eaten by zombies."
     "I'm with the godly one. Anne suffering from manure in her brain is so strange I just want to run." Orlin trotted off ahead of Pat. He just shrugged and left Anne and Elsie where they were at.
     The group stepped out onto the street and they could hear Anne singing a tune. It kind of sounded like she was howling at the moon. They knew that may bring zombies near, so they all ran away in fear. They kept going until they came to a shopping complex. Drazin kicked the door in after a good flex. Pat and Drazin locked the door tight and everyone turned around ready to fight.
     "Do we really need to star in another Dawn of the Dead remake?" Pat muttered as they looked for trouble, but the place was spotless, there was not even any rubble.
     "Pat, this must please your OCD. It is so shiny."
     "Yeah, as shiny as the godly mook's bald head."
     "Shut up, fleabags. Drazin will turn you to slippers."
     "Intruders! Intruders! Intruders!"
     The group stopped bickering as they glanced around, each trying to find what kind of trouble would be found. The alarms rang out across the store with flashing red lights after every "Intruder!" encore.
     "Oh isn't this just great. We go from Dawn of the Dead to Short Circuit meets Avatar." Pat yelled when robots came into view. There was a whole army of them and they were all blue.
     "Drazin really really hates robots."
     The robots marched toward the group with their fingers pointed at them all. Then they peeled back like a fold up wall. Guns appeared on each finger. The group took off not wanting to linger.
                                    ****************************************
     A cheery lemonade stand with flowers all around it stood at the edge of a pit. Rosey and Theresa sat there smiling wide. In their free lemonade and flower giveaway they took such pride.
     "Rosey, here comes a zombie. Let's give him some free flowers."
     "That is a great idea."
     The pair giggled like school girls in their seats while the zombie looked at them like they were treats. Rosey stood up and stuck out her hand. The zombie thought an easy meal was grand. It stepped up almost to the table and Theresa waved bye. She hit a button and the zombie fell through a trap door, proceeding to fry. Rosey dropped the flowers down behind it. The pair then gloated quite a bit.
     "That makes  nine hundred and ninety eight zombies killed, Theresa!"
     "Two more and we've got the record. I just know we've got the record. If anyone argues they can go down the hole of doom."
     The pair cackled some more and seemed to enjoy the zombie gore. Two pairs of eyes stared on from a bush. They both then yelled as they got poked in the tush.
     "Bryan, your fat ass got us caught. Maybe you should lay off the beer."
     Brandon and Bryan were forced out of their hiding place by another, one old enough to be their grandmother. Manzinita pushed them along with her walking spikes. The pair began picturing their head on pikes.
     "Bryan, what do you call a headless beer guy?"
     "Is now really the time?"
     "Light beer."
     The pair snickered and watched Rosey and Theresa's eyes light up as Manzinita lead them to the table like they were a leashed pup.
     "These two zombies make one thousand!" They both declared and the beer guys knew they had no hope of being spared.
     "I knew we should have never went into a woman's purse."
     "Where is a freegan when you need one?"
     "Wait! They talk?" Rosey stood stunned as she looked over the pair. Theresa simply did not care.
     "These two are a pair of those special zombies, they have the power of speech." Manzinita pushed them to the front of the table. The pair tried to explain that it was all a fable.
     "We only look like this because we tried to blend in. Have mercy on us."
     The three women did not seem to buy it. They thought they were a couple of crazy zombies that needed to go to the pit. All three stood with their arms crossed. The beer guys knew they had to get lost.
     "Well we will just be going now. No trap doors for us."
     "They must be psychic zombies, Rosey. They know about our trap." Theresa held her hand over the button in wait, ready to send them to a fiery fate.
     "I'm not so sure."
     "Lies, all lies!" Manzinita declared and whacked Theresa's hand with her stick. It went down and the beer guys heard a click.
     "Blood thirsty old coot. We beat zombies but were done in by a geriatric."
     "She must have some really good beer."
     The beer guys fell to their doom, melting and charring like fire would to a mushroom. The three stood over their pit and each dropped some flowers into it. They danced and cheered as a few more zombies neared.
     "One thousand! We have hit one thousand kills."
     "Why not make it two thousand." Manzinita sat down behind the table and grinned. She was ready to kill all who sinned.
                                          ****************************************
      Drazin hurled a weight at the nearest robot as he hid in a fitness store. Pat grabbed a surf board and let it soar. It took off the nearest robot's head. Cassie and Orlin both hid in a nifty cat bed. It was more of a box. But they were just glad it did not have any smelly socks.
     "There are too many of these things. Where the hell did this i, Robot nonsense come from?"
     "Drazin does not know, but Drazin has had enough. No one shoots at the Great God Duke Drazin."
     "The godly mook is dead."
     "Yeah he is toast. I wonder if robots eat roast?"
     Pat and the cats watched as Drazin steadied his golden armor and trotted out with what looked to be a pitchfork of a farmer. He dodged and ducked and stabbed each robot that was near. A bullet or buzz saw did not even graze his ear.
     "The godly mook has been practicing."
     "Pat, why can't you do that."
     "Hey, I have Truedessa in my head."
     Drazin curled his nose up as he stood over the busted machines. They were torn to pieces from wheels to robot spleens. All of their parts lied on the floor. That is when the group heard, "Encore! Encore!" They all searched for the voice that was clapping. It was some little twerp that was yapping.
     "Drazin is going to..." Drazin stopped as the twerp pulled out a gun. He pointed it into the broken store window acting as if the chaos was fun.
     "Don't go and spoil things. Fact, we got off on the right foot. Fact, you are way more fun than video games. Fact, I have better aim than them and will kill you."
     "Is he trying to see how many times he can say fact?" Pat perked up his ears and then smiled as he spotted spears.
     "Truedessa must be leading him again."
     "Yeah, he sucks on his own. I guess she saves him at the tone."
     Cassie and Orlin ducked down in their box while Pat sneakily grabbed the spear gun and looked ready to hunt ox. He pointed it over Drazin's shoulder and closed his eyes. A few seconds later he opened them to find Drazin's red eyes and the twerp giving cries.
     "What? I only grazed your face a little." Pat threw the spear gun away as Drazin looked like he wanted someone to pay.
     Drazin marched out of the store and burst out laughing as he saw the full body of the twerp that shouted, "Encore!"
     "This almost makes up for Drazin getting shot by the fleabags crazy human."
     Drazin stood over Adam as he reached for his gun. His upper half of his body was normal but his bottom half was smaller than the gun. He was half mini, half large. Adam wished he had more robots to charge.
     "I'll let you live here with me. Don't hurt me. that zombie shrunk by bottom half." Adam flung his hands in the air but Drazin just did not care.
     "Don't let him do this."
     "Hey, you said fact one too many times. And blue robots? Really?" Pat shrugged as Drazin dragged Adam away. He stuffed Adam in a closet and threw in a food tray.
     "Come out of there and Drazin will string you up and use your bottom half as fish bait. Hell, the fish may not even get filled by that."
     The group all chuckled as they explored the mall. Cassie and Orlin started running up and down every hall. They all felt safe for the first time since they arrived, each one glad that they had survived. They found plenty of water and food and continuously ignored the cries of Adam who said it was a fact that they were rude. They all settled in the security office and loaded up on guns, as they looked on the security feed and outside the main entrance they spotted zombie nuns.

*****************************
Dawn of the dead rip off today. At least a bit at my bay. But zombies nuns can't be beat or can the group leave them in defeat? I guess we shall see what comes to be. Now part three has come to pass, as you curse my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

70 comments:

  1. The Perils of Pauline have nothing on this crew
    It would be safer facing ghostly ghosts who say boo
    Robots come marching all in blue
    Are they relatives of Grumpy Goo?

    But the story gets more cunning
    A lemonade stand they are running
    It's a front, mun, by Therese and Rosey
    Inviting ravenous zombies with a posey

    While the crone is in the bushes
    Prodding zombies on their tushes
    Leading all they do despise
    To a scorching end demise

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol you said you wanted a stick
      Now you have one to do the trick
      Putting everyone to their death
      Whether or not they have breath
      Down the pit they go
      As the zombies line up in a row

      Delete
  2. "One thousand! We have hit one thousand kills."
    Mopping up the zombies gave them all the thrills
    Down the abyss
    Came quite a list
    Shouts of 'encore' each time Drazin made a kill

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Drazin got a bunch
      Between him and the crazies at the stand all are out to lunch

      Delete
  3. Drazin sure knows how to handle those zombies!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He gets the job done
      And then they all run

      Delete
  4. Haha the zombies! I think are funny!
    Esperanza loves Zombies dead:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Zombies are fun
      Even a super powered one

      Delete
  5. That gives me an idea...I want a trap door in front of the check out table at the auctions! Would be quite convenient when someone was a jerk. ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha could be on to something
      Not sure a fiery death would work tough at any wing

      Delete
  6. While that light beer joke was fantastic (and worth stealing if we were lesser people) this also called attention to my drinking problem. And my fat ass. Which are both massive problems (literally). I admit it, I desperately need help... maybe some lesbian Amazonian princesses can help me through this. Death by snu snu?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol steal away
      That fat ass can get one in trouble I say
      A good poke in it
      And down the pit

      Delete
  7. Zombies with flowers?
    That really sounds swell.
    Along with perfumes and showers
    it overpowers the smell.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Might takes some doing tough
      For the smell to go

      Delete
  8. Zombie season is here
    Poison in the beer
    It's Halloween
    Anne is the Amazon Queen!
    Nuns on a hunger run
    Shopping is no longer fun!

    But your posts always are!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All kinds on display
      Here at my bay
      Yeah shopping can suck
      All out trying to save a buck

      Delete
  9. I'm looking forward to reading this, Pat.
    Have it printed off where I am at.
    Need a chunk of time to read it through,
    so I can do it justice with my view.
    Have a happy day
    at your bay!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it can take a while
      As the cat blabs on a mile

      Delete
  10. Glad someone is handling those zombies. They sound pretty darn scary.
    Thanks for the purrs for Mew Mew. She is one sick kitty. Have a great day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hopefully she gets better quick at your sea
      Was at the vet here yesterday with Cassie

      Delete
  11. Manzanita had an all-out awesome response today too. :) If I'm going to be paired w/someone against zombies, I DEF. want it to be the Halloween Nazi and Manzanita. High Five to the ladies, we've got the zombie thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha oh just wait to see what comes due
      You may not want to be paired with those two

      Delete
  12. Good thing somebody knows how to handle those zombies!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Got many to do it right
      Send the zombies for a flight

      Delete
  13. Robots and zombies, so much to dread
    Manzanita was wise and went to the head
    Meanwhile people throw up their hands
    Over-eating the chemicals invading their lands

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They love that crap
      Chowing down like a zombie chap

      Delete
  14. orlin N cassie;

    yur dadz book hit de best sellers list... N everee one mentioned iz gonna wanna share oh de royalteez !!

    grate werk !!

    happee week oh end two all, heers two dusky grouper ♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol I think chances of that are slim
      But could one day on a whim

      Delete
  15. It is about time someone or something handled those zombies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Getting rid of the all
      One by one with a cat call

      Delete
  16. And now the cats are loose in the mall.
    Too bad about Brandon and Bryan. I liked those guys.
    Dawn of the Dead to Short Circuit meets Avatar - that would be one heck of a movie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They can have lots of fun
      Yeah that movie would be packed a ton

      Delete
  17. Zombies you say. Me thinks you've been watching too much Walking Dead.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Are you sure Pat's awake?/That sounded like some wacky dream to me, was it real or was it fake? :-)

    Autumn's here, let's all cheer! :-)

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You just never know
      What is real or not at my show

      Delete
  19. Stuck in the closet? I'm not Tom Cruise.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. also a side note to my joke, I thought it was ridiculous when he went after South Park for that episode.

      Delete
    2. lol what? no couch jumping for you?
      Yeah going after them just adds fuel to the fire and makes it seem all the more true

      Delete
  20. Does this count as your 40th book?
    These zombies are fun at your nook.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nah, still two more to come out before this
      So 40 I think this one will miss

      Delete
  21. well i might join bryan and them for a beer
    but hold the light, as calories i dont fear
    its all in taste...and since drazin sucks on his own
    err...what? a bone...off with the zombie heads
    i dread their teeth when they come looking for brain meat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Taste is better in many things
      Unless you grow super wide come spring
      Drazin sucks his own waste?
      lol Yeah he has a brain of paste

      Delete
  22. Those zombies with powers and blue robots are hard to top

    ReplyDelete
  23. Zombies seem to be in season ~ My hubby was just re-playing the WW Z, Brad Pitt zombie movies ~ Not my cup of tea though ~ Hey, fun write here ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Still haven't watched that one
      But they can be fun to give a run

      Delete
  24. That was quite an attack
    I'm outta breath but did laugh.
    The beer guys I'll miss.
    Who knew diving into a purse
    would lead to all this?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah you just never know
      Where the freegan purse diving stuff will go

      Delete
  25. You can't beat a good zombie yarn:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope, they are great
      With the zombie trait

      Delete
  26. Another chapter of the Blogvengers
    zombies taking over the blog world
    Truedessa stuck in Pat's head
    I think Pat is stuck in her's instead

    hope you had a good day...


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Zombies on the run
      Drazin just needs a big gun lol

      Delete
  27. That light beer joke was great. Enjoying the story.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Ha, let's blame it all on Truedessa! Smiles.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Yay! Love fighting zombies with those girls! We know how to Get.It.Done!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rack up the count
      A high killing amount

      Delete
  30. I didn't see Dawn of The Dead.... I guess you never want to sin in front of Manzanita...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah she with throw you in a hole
      If by her you stroll

      Delete
  31. Who knew the perils of a lemonade stand
    Could lead to zombie death in the land
    Lesbian princesses, headless robots and such
    Give a ghouly,ghastly touch

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Many come to be
      In the zombie land spree

      Delete