Sunday, November 30, 2014

A Little Display Of The Other Day!

The cat was going along his way when such crazy things came into the fray. It was as if aliens landed nearby. Probe me they never want to try. I'll take out their huge eye. Oh me, oh my.

I was eating a snack,
When Alien Radio caused flack.
They were loud and proud.
Saturday Fun was not allowed.

The shag carpet got upset.
Mickey Al-Donovan cursed the pet.
Maybe he was just an old grump?
How you know you are getting old, chump!

Maybe you are put off by miniskirts?
The lonely heart yonder hurts.
Oh whoa as me.
The sickly report sure causes no glee.

So bring on the weekend.
That is a fine trend.
How can that go wrong?
Maybe if you sing a Bavarois aux mangues song?

Wait! What the hell is that?
Ask other S things like splat.
Could ask the sky as well.
But MPOW Solar Lights may not find it swell.

What does a solar light care?
Maybe its stomach has knots when aware?
The sun and the sky need to get together.
The Snow Dance is just no kind of fun weather.

Unless you are crazy like Betsy and Optimistic long name.
He has to be with his Let's Get Political claim.
But then all politicians are just windbags anyway.
Maybe we need the fascinating case of Dennis Rodman at the end of the day?

Err umm maybe not.
Pain and Angst of elections are already a lot.
Elections may be a word that is reaching.
So let's go to the ups and downs of teaching.

That would be less of a fuss.
Unlike the cat who chose us.
Could be out of the fire and into the frying pan.
Yeah backwards, But hey, Baby it's the guitar man.

Have I confused you?
Do you want 50 questions, Part Two?
Was there even 50 questions in there?
See what aliens and Disney Magic Shots can do to ones lair?

I may have gone insane? Bah, just those aliens boarding a train. Or maybe it was a blogroll stroll. Either way, the cat met his goal. Did you say an S word with all of that? Done with 50 questions from the cat? I am through with my sass and I'm no longer an abducted little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, November 29, 2014

More Reasons Not To At Your Zoo!

Was on Twitter the other day, bored at my work bay. What else can I say? But that is the typical 9-5 way. Anyway, saw some more gems come due and just had to share them at my zoo.

"My outside voice broke"
I hope you don't choke.
"That dog is so mean."
Did it eat your spleen?

"What? A mailing list and you get free stuff?"
Oh your ploy I can see right through easy enough.
"I done it today!"
Umm err okay.

"Shoes on the left, shoes on the right."
I guess now we just need to yell, fight!
"My toaster tried to eat me."
I take it it failed at eating thee?

"Thinking out loud today."
You must type loud at your bay.
"Can't do it....Can't do it."
Take exlax and you'll do it in a bit.

"How to read literature like a proffessor in 5 days."
I take it you aren't a professor, at least one that pays.
"The most comprennhessive stuy EVER dun!"
Somehow I think I'll skip that one.

"Click this link and get xxx photos of me."
And you can get a virus for free.
"Man inspires world to love their job."
Sorry, not about to join that mob.

"Y do I never get my dat?"
I just don't know, mate!
"Arggg my pants are on fire."
If you are typing it it can't be dire.

"Shrinkage, deciving people about..."
Come now, don't pout.
"real motherhood with eight arms rocks."
Hmm time to change the locks?

"Make today count, eat math homework."
That is sure a yummy perk.
"Magazines are dead."
Did you just get out of bed?

"My schedulur brok to peaces today."
That isn't the only thing broke at your bay.
"Buy me a brand new car!"
Go try a drunk at the bar.

See, now don't you want to go tweet with glee? Everything is there for thee. You can find everything you want and more. All you have to do is explore. Click a link and get a free std, at least the kind that causes your computer no glee. I guess it can amuse to make time pass and give blog fodder to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, November 28, 2014

Zombies Part Umm Four Take The Tour!

Another year is almost down. That means today the nuts fly all over town. Let's barrel through each other like we are on fire. But wait! The situation is far more dire.

That thingy maggy is $10 off.
It can really cure a cough.
That TV is as big as can be.
I need it at my sea.

I'm a fast moving zombie today.
Buy buy buy they say.
I will charge it and run.
More debt is always fun.

I need this stuff.
Life is so rough.
I will no longer mutter,
If I have more clutter.

Forget about dinner.
This sale is a winner.
I get an extra 2 dollars off with my coupon as well.
I am so lucky I'm going to Hell.

Maybe sooner than I think.
Look at that kitchen sink.
I'll fight and I'll shout.
I'll make the other guy pout.

A thief in the night.
I will win every fight.
I will save a ton.
Shopping is so fun.

Even if I spend, spend, spend.
I save a ton in the end.
I get a lot of junk too.
Whoa hoo!

Now my car is filled.
Next month I may get billed.
But I'll worry about that then.
Now it's off to my den.

Look what I was able to save.
This one is truly my fav.
I bought two of it.
Isn't it just the umm spit?

Who cares if I only have room for one.
Buying two just had to be done.
Don't be a Scrooge at your sea.
Buy, buy, buy on a shopping spree.

Don't you get all cheery and bright when such great sales come to light? You get to be a fast moving zombie at your sea and hit others with an elbow or knee. Black Friday once again get a bash pass from my online shopping little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Blogvengers Part Nine, Zombies Try To Dine!

Chapter 9
The Two Towers
Zombies With Powers

     Drazin let his eyes glow bright red and moved around his head. He showed the group the path, as each of them waited for some kind of zombie wrath. Truedessa knew her stones would not work without the open sky, but she figured out other ways to make the zombies fry. Pat was still crazy with all the voices in his head and the cats just kept wishing they were back home in bed.
     "Drazin is kind of disappointed, so far ascending this tower has been super easy."
     "Demon, you just had to go and say that."
     The stairs turned into a slide and it sent the entire group for a ride. They slide right back to the bottom and then beyond. They all ended up below the tower in what seemed like a pond.
     "Water, eww!"
     "It doesn't bother me. Cassie, don't be so prissy."
     Cassie jumped around and climbed on Pat's shoulder. She sat on him like he was a boulder. Orlin did not care and then the group caught something in Drazin's red glare.
     "Did Drazin see what Drazin thinks Drazin just saw?"
     "Get over here."
     Truedessa pulled Pat and Cassie near her as Cassie continued to clean her fur. Orlin stood near them all and Drazin shined his eyes on the wall. There hanging on the wall was something that looked like it was from some museum hall. It was some ancient creature that had quite the zombie feature. The thing jumped into the center of the pond and stretched its wings out, looking like it wanted to bond. It then opened its mouth and seemed ready to stunt everyone's growth.
     "A zombie dragon. Godly mook, you had to open your big mouth."
     "Demon, we shall slay it. Ouch!"
     Truedessa whacked Pat in the head and tried to get another voice to pop in so they could cause the zombie dragon dread. It breathed puke like fire and all found the situation rather dire. They scattered in every direction, trying to escape its detection. Pat continued to speak in many voices as well. But not the one Truedessa found swell.
     "Take that! You can't beat the cat."
     Orlin kicked water in its face with his back feet. The zombie dragon sure did not think that was neat. It breathed puke fire right at him. Drazin then tried to give its neck a trim. He yanked off his golden shoulder armor and moved around behind it. He aimed at its neck with the sharp edge and went for the hit. The zombie dragon's tale waved around and whacked Drazin up side his head, knocking him to the ground.
     Cassie tried her best to climb back up the slide. But she kept falling back in, getting wet, and creating a small tide. Truedessa tried to summon some magic stones to kill it, but she could not make any appear in the underground pit. She kept slapping Pat who ran through different voices in his head, sometimes no one could even understand what was said.
     "Drazin is going to make this thing pay."
     "Do it now godly mook. Use your dollar store contact lenses and fry the thing."
     "Shut up, fleabag."
     "I'll give the thing fleas right on its knees."
     "It's flesh is already rotten. That isn't going to work."
     "Oh and slapping Pat upside the head will. Now is no time for a thrill."
     "By my calculations..."
     "Nope, wrong one."
     Truedessa slapped Pat again, as he scrolled through the voices of many men. The rest of the group continued to bicker as the zombie dragon's puke flames continued to flicker. There seemed to be no way out. They were easy prey, like trout.
     Zombies seemed to be coming from every direction. Brian's gawk even caught one with an undead erection. He shot it in the head and made sure that one was good and dead. Anne and Elsie kept to their Amazonian ways, using swords to chop off zombie heads as they went through the zombie maze. Hank kept shouting he was number one, as around and around he continued to run. Mary got the zombies that came near, cursing one as it almost bit her on the ear. Alex kept watch for tiny zombies returning. as his butt was still burning.
     "You zombie eejits will never defeat me." Anne gave a Xena warrior cry and then gave a kiss to Old One Eye.
     "Is now really the time."
     "You're just jealous all you got was some zombie ass." Anne made fun of the ninja wannabe and went back to her zombie killing spree.
     "Brian, we may have been safer at dVerse or crazy Betsy's."
     "I am number one."
     Brian gawked at Hank and everything else in view. He waved off Hank having a loose screw. He then spotted a door and gave a roar.
     The group followed Brian as the zombies nipped at their heels, wanting to make all of them meals. They just never seemed to end. It was like there was a zombie making machine that just kept hitting send. They ran in the room, Hank first, and slammed the door shut, locking it and sealing it with a broom.
     "I was number one!"
     "Brian, why is this room so bright?"
     Brian tried to gawk, still missing his mohawk, but the room was all aglow. It seemed to be giving off every color of the rainbow.
     "This is not good. That could be my next hit song if someone had not smashed my last guitar."
     Alex held onto his grudge while none of the rest of the group seemed able to budge. It seemed the light was holding them in one spot. It then took form and smelled of zombie rot. It was a super powered rainbow zombie that could freeze all below it. Anne kept trying to move, throwing a fit.
     "You zombie eejit. I am going to..."
     Anne got blasted in the face with a yellow light. It blinded her because it was so bright. Elsie tried to help her out, but she also could not move and she could not even shout. Elsie then got blasted with a blue light, everything around her turned into a fright. She was seeing demons in everybody now. Brian had turned into a demon zombie cow.
     Alex got hit with a red light and now everything he seemed to want to fight. Hank got hit with a green one and all he wanted to do was have fun. Mary took the last color to the face, after being hit with the pink light all she wanted to do was embrace.
     "I love you, Anne." Mary hugged Anne, like she was a huge fan.
     "Brian, you destroyed my guitar, you will pay."
     Alex lunged at Brian who just jumped out of the way. He really wanted to make Brian pay. Everyone seemed able to move once again, as they ran around the rainbow den. The rainbow zombie seemed to be enjoying the show, watching everyone sink to a new low.
     "I will still chop your head off, you eejit."
     Anne gave her best Xena scream and swung her sword around and around. She felt breath on her neck and yelled for all to hit the deck. She swung around and smiled with delight, thinking with one strike she ended this plight. Instead when she bent down and felt the head, she was filled with dread. She chopped off the head of her lover, Old One Eye. She was dead and Anne began to cry.
     "I'm number one, I'm number one." Hank jumped around like a hyper two year old, letting all the fun take hold.
     "Do you need a hug?"
     Mary tried to hug Alex and Brian as they fought. But she got pushed away as she neared their spot. She got pushed right into the rainbow zombie, and with one bite, he bit the neck of Mary. She fell to the floor, as the zombie scratched off one more.
     "I am number three. That can't be. Pick me! Pick me!"
     Hank jumped up and down, wanting to restore his number one crown. He jumped right in the rainbow zombie's face. Hank was quickly made into a snack after the zombie gave him an embrace.
     "You are dead, eejit."
     Anne got up with tears in her eyes. She did not care about the other guys. She just swung her sword around and around, hoping on the rainbow zombies neck, its blade would soon be found.
     "I want my guitar back."
     "Get a grip, man."
     Brian flipped Alex off of him. Alex landed beside the zombie and thought things were grim. He got up to run away, but as he turned he was left in dismay. An oncoming Anne chopped his head clean off. She then heard the zombie cough. She perked up her ear and took one more swing. She finally chopped off the head of the undead thing. Anne's sight was restored and she saw Brian was the only other one alive, thanking the lord.
     "Let's end this."
     Anne marched out the back door and up the stairs, giving off a few swears. Brian gawked everything one final time, feeling sorry for all who had been knocked down in their prime. He then followed Anne and gawked for traps. In the distance the pair heard some echoing claps.
     "Buckaroo, hold on to your side shooters." Pat yanked Truedessa out of the way of another incoming puke fire ball spray.
     "Finally, now just turn around."
     Truedessa placed each of her hands on Pat's shoulders and concentrated as hard as she could. Pat pointed his finger, and the cats finally understood. Drazin eyed his burnt armor and curled his nose. He wanted to make this zombie dragon suffer new lows.
     "Drazin, get out of the way. Just wait a minute to make the thing pay."
     Orlin jumped up and kicked Drazin out of the way while Pat's finger began to give off an icy display. A few seconds later, just as the zombie dragon got ready to puke fire, an ice beam shot out of Pat's finger that the rest of the group did admire. It froze the zombie dragon in place. Drazin then got an evil look on his face.
     "Drazin is going to make this thing pay for what it did to Drazin's armor. Out of the way, fleabags."
     Drazin marched up to the frozen zombie dragon and gave it a kick. The thing  then burst to pieces some slick. Cassie, who was ticked off and wetter than she had ever been in her life. Jumped on the broken shards, cracking them further, for all the added strife. Orlin joined in and the group enjoyed their win.
     "Drazin is glad that crazy woman can make use of your crazy human, fleabags."
     "We are glad too. But the both of them are cuckoo."
     "Can we get out of here so I can get clean. I will have to bath for a month."
     The group watched as the slide became stairs once again. They could hear faint clapping from some far off den. Cassie jumped out of the water as fast as she could. Drazin was ready to end the ruler of this hood. Orlin hopped up, looking for some sand and Pat and Truedessa followed, ready for their last stand.


And with only one chapter left to go, how will it end at my show? I guess we shall see one way or another soon. Maybe all will have death by spoon? That would sure cause bad gas. I would not want to be a spooned to death little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Better Take Stock As You Gawk!

The cat notices hoarders get a lot of wtf looks, and yeah they deserve it at their nooks. But what about chuckers too? Those ones who chuck every last thing in view.

Don't need this,
Don't need that.
This I won't miss,
So go now, scat!

My place is bare.
My place is clean.
Not one single hair,
Quite the scene.

I have to go.
I have to crap.
But oh no!
No TP in any gap.

The toilets plugged,
Now I'm pissed.
This makes me bugged,
A plunger I missed.

Damn, I'm bare.
I did not mean that.
People will stare,
My clothes went splat.

My teeth are rotting.
My breath does stink.
This clean plotting,
I need to rethink.

The dust is gathering,
The floor has dirt.
I have no soap for lathering,
No water bottle to squirt.

No curtains at all,
That doesn't bother me.
Damn, I walked down the hall,
Outside saw my naked spree.

No door on the place.
At least I have fresh air.
I can see every face,
That passes my lair.

And the best of the best,
Is I can pass every test.
I can very easily rest.
No pillow, blanket or bed to cover my chest.

Many hoarders are as crazy as can be, but so are the chuckers at one's sea. I chuck away here at our bay. But there comes a point where common sense kicks in. Sadly, I've seen some of the above at a bin. No TP is just a crime in mass. That will never happen to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

A Gift To Make Spirits Lift!

The cat will help you out at your sea, just in case you have an enemy. There is one gift that will top them all. At least 99 percent of the time at your hall.

No need for dung,
That post as been flung.
Can send that in the mail,
They sure would wail.

But then they would know,
That they were your foe.
If they don't already.
Instead keep things steady.

Don't go all mean.
Be cheery at your scene.
Get them the best.
One that beats all the rest.

It will bring a smile,
And not be vile.
Just listen to the cat.
This is where it's at.

Get them something great,
To nothing else it can relate.
$1,000,000 is what it is.
Wait! Don't in your pants take a whiz.

The cat means a lottery ticket.
Then they won't picket.
You will have gave them a gift,
And their spirits will lift.

They will scratch away,
Wasting time at their bay.
Score one for you,
Made them waste time without a clue.

They will hold out hope,
That the one letter, number, etc. won't elope.
That it will show to make three,
And they can yell, yippee!

Score two for you.
Gave them hope and not much came due.
They can use the ticket to feed the ducks,
Or just maybe they will win two whole bucks.

And the best of all.
Most re-up at their hall.
So if they win a bit,
They try again at their pit.

See, you can make them waste tons of time and have them win a whole dime? Isn't that better than dung? Of course you could also pop a lung. If the one you gave was the winner, you just gave your foe a golden plate dinner. Hmmm maybe mailing dung is the way to go. Don't want to enrich your foe. That is the cat's advice in mass. I am just such a helpful little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Alien Life Is Here! Cover Your Rear!

So the cat was listening to one rant on the other day that there is no proof aliens exist at any bay. Therefore they don't exist. I just had to take that and make a quick list.

There is the stern alien among us.
They don't kick up a fuss.
Chances are you've seen them once.
They are a bit of a dunce.

See! Told you so!
An alien on the go.
A matching pair.
Just look at their simple stare.

The most common one,
With eyes that say, run!
Those little grey guys,
Sure think they are wise.

But they hang from a tree,
So how smart can they be?
But look at those bug eyes.
Bet they could spot flies.

The stern red alien dude.
This guy is rather rude.
He likes to change his form.
These too are part of the norm.

Case and point,
Here at my joint.
From skin flint to steroid freak.
An alien that can speak.

These ones create war.
They also have a loud roar.
And they have bad breath.
One whiff, can bring death.

 An exact match.
A ruthless alien batch.
Watch it when you see him,
Or things may get grim.

An alien that sucks life.
Age causes it strife.
So it puts on makeup and plastic,
Wanting to look fantastic.

Bam! Another win,
Here at my bin.
Don't be fooled be her voice,
Make the right choice.

Now you know we are not alone. E.T. does not want to pick up a phone. They are glad to stay here among us all and create our downfall. So when you are given the there are no aliens sass, just direct them to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

How You Say? Well Okay!

Every once and a while the cat hears it run on for a mile. "Where do you get all your ideas from?" Yeah, I've heard it said to my little rhyming bum. I guess I can share, here at my lair.

The cat will be kind.
Ideas are easy to find.
Just follow me,
Here at my sea.

Ideas come and go.
Then on with the show.
They just like to flow.
That much you know.

Just be open to all,
There at your hall.
Read writing on the wall,
Whether it is in a lounge or bathroom stall.

Let your mind free.
It is as easy as can be.
Just give it a push.
Look at that big tush.

There is a post there.
Post it with flair.
You like big butts and you cannot lie.
Got that in your head, oh me, oh my.

Gawk like the gawker.
Be a bit of a stalker.
Watch and wave.
A new path you can pave.

Just get a dog or cat,
Or maybe even a rat.
There you go.
Pictures high and low.

Look out the window.
Much on the go.
Or get a paper cut.
Viola! Post at your hut.

I hate paper cuts too.
They suck at any zoo.
Look, I just fit it in.
A new post at my bin.

But what I use most,
Here at my coast.
That gives ideas to my behind,
Is just thinking with my crazy mind.

Now wasn't that telling? You could yap about spelling. See, another idea for you. How do you make ideas come due? Is it just like the cat and his brain mass? You can tell my idea filled little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

It Is Clear That The High and Mighty Are Here!

The cat came across some nuts the other day that wanted to go after him at their bay. They thought they were grand, finding this and that across the land, trying to come after the cat there at their mat.

I just hit ignore,
At my shore.
But they kept on,
With their con.

This is that,
At your mat.
This = this,
You can't miss.

Bite me, I say.
There at my bay.
With their crap on display.
Nuts joining the fray.

A mighty team,
With their stream.
Holier than thou.
Even religion can wow.

Shame on you.
A sin at your zoo.
I'm so right.
There at my site.

No matter what you say.
I am right at my bay.
There is no wrong.
We sing our song.

I never lie,
With my little eye.
It was found.
It can astound.

Just admit it.
We still hiss and spit.
We will do you in.
We always win.

What was that you say?
No way!
We are still right,
Into the dead of night.

Sometimes you can't win.
They just take it for a spin.
They have to climb on their soapbox,
With or without socks.

The cat is so grand, he gets attacked for all kinds of things across the land. They can just bite me at my sea. I could be more crass but I will be a semi nice little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, November 21, 2014

Special Guest Four Takes The Tour!

So the last guest for the month is here. Even though Pat is still pushing that book that doesn't rhyme like my little rhyming rear. Read it yet? Max Blizzard and the Gem of Camelot is getting spread around by more than just this pet. Anyway, so how about magic for the end of the week? It is so much better than playing hide and seek. She comes from lands afar and may raid your cookie jar. She even has fur. I wonder if she can purr?

The end is not tragic,
It is full of magic.
Just you wait and see,
What I have in store for thee.

It is a giant fur thing,
That is guesting at my wing.
And magic is at play,
With many tricks on display.

She will astound.
Her tricks are profound.
Like none around.
At least outside of the pound.

So sit back and stare,
These tricks are rare.
You will be in awe,
As she breaks scientific law.

What? A furry at my show?
Damn it! That is low.
How could I?
Oh me, oh my.

I bet you never saw tricks like that? Aren't I just an entertaining cat? The tricks of the ages are right here on my pages. Forever out there for all to see. No need to thank little old me. I just like to sometimes do more than pass gas out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Blogvengers Part Eight, All Try And Relate!

Chapter 8
The Final Hours
Zombies With Powers

     Orlin had his tail in the air. He was walking along humming to himself with such flair. He hissed as Pat grabbed him by the tail, yanking him back. He looked ahead and found he almost ended up a zombie snack.
     "I guess you just proved who the brighter cat is." Cassie gloated while Truedessa shh-ed them both. She did not want things to head south.
     "Too many demons for even your crystal magic."
     "The cat thinks we should run away. Maybe we can come back another day?"
     "Scaredy cat."
     Truedessa tried to speak to shut them all up. But she found she could not even hiccup. Her voice and magic was sucked away. She flailed her arms around, leaving the group in disarray.
     "Now is no time for charades. Does she want to put on zombie parades?"
     "Is thee casting a spell?"
     "She lost her voice you idiots."
     Truedessa nodded to Cassie and gave Pat and Orlin a dirty look. They both shrugged and knew it had to be some super powered zombie voice stealing crook. Their ears all perked up as they heard Truedessa's voice. A zombie was using it and they now knew that had no choice.
     "A voice stealing demon. That shall not do. Let's slay them all." Pat picked up a branch and used it like a sword. He stood all brave looking with it like he was receiving a reward.
     "Here we go. Let's kill zombies high and low." Orlin jumped out ready to fight. His hair stood on end as the zombie army caught his sight.
     "Those two are such idiots. How does anyone put up with them?"
     Cassie and Truedessa searched for a way to make the voice stealing zombie and his army pay. Truedessa pointed to a tree and Cassie climbed it quickly. She bounced on a branch until Truedessa could reach. Truedessa grabbed it, yanked it back, let it fly and heard a loud zombie screech.
     The branch whacked many incoming zombies off their feet. It even beheaded some and caused their heads to roll down the street. The voice stealing zombie yelled for all to attack. It seemed to be the leader of the pack.
     "Maybe this was a bad idea, you think? I think I need a drink."
     "Come back here, cat!"
     Pat stood all alone with his sword like stick while zombies neared looking like they wanted to do more than give him a lick. Their drool dripped more and more with every step they took. Pat's OCD kicked in and he gave his stick a look.
     "What the hell? Stupid voices."
     Pat dropped the stick and ran away. But the zombies already had their scent and knew the way. They searched for a way to get Truedessa's magic back, so she could go on a zombie killing attack. They all turned to a honk as the zombies closed in. Drazin was taking some army vehicle for a spin.
     "Drazin has to save you two and the fleabags again." Drazin yelled as he waved to the back. He and the others soon made short work of the zombie attack.
     Drazin ran down the zombies that came near, squashing them from ear to ear. Brian and Hank popped out from one side while Alex and Mary popped out the other with such pride. They all started firing away, leaving only the voice stealing zombie running the other way.
     Truedessa raised her hand to Drazin who tossed her a gun. She marched up to the voice stealing zombie and ended his fun. She shot it right in the head. The zombie peeled over good and dead.
     "Remind Drazin never to piss her off."
     The group jumped out of the truck and Pat and the cats did not know for sure if they were in luck. All they could think of was Brian's evil gawker counterpart and the ninja wannabe taking nakedness and clones to heart.
     "The cat does not want to see another naked ninja wannabe. And you are in for a shock, if you try and gawk."
     "Drazin though the same thing, fleabag. But they are fine in this zombie hell."
     "I'm number one!" Hank cheered with delight and the cats looked at him like he was not right.
     "Who is that again?"
     "Drazin does not know. But he sure likes to be number one."
     "My magic has not returned. We are going to have to do this the hard way. But I know the towers are that way." Truedessa rejoined the group, wiping off a bit of zombie goop.
     "So is that they way out? Drazin needs to get out of this place."
     "That is the way to a zombie free day."
     Drazin hopped back in the truck and the rest all followed as they waded through the dead zombie muck. Drazin hit the gas and headed to where Truedessa had said. Everyone hoping they would soon see the last of the undead.
     "I see, so his comrades are coming to save him. This should be delightful."
     A shadow like zombie stood beside his king, reporting back everything. Babylon smiled at Trucker who was chained up to the wall. He was ready to make the last of the humans fall.
     "You...won'" Trucker muttered, still tired and weak, almost unable to speak.
     The king of the zombies hobbled across the floor and opened his over sized door. He whispered something to the guard and then a few minutes later all the zombies started clearing the yard. The area in front of the two towers was bare. Babylon was excited for the group to enter his lair.
     "I will finally get a little action. The last humans in this city are coming to me. This will be delightful."
     Babylon sat back down in his torn up throne. He kept repeating the word "delightful" while giving a zombie like groan. He rubbed his rotting hands together going over his plan. He could not wait to watch the final ending of man.
     "Well this isn't a trap or anything."
     "Maybe the zombies are having a spring fling?"
     The two cats stared at the bare entrance to the two towers. They both would rather deal with the blood thirsty crazies with flowers. The whole group knew it was a trap, but they had to risk it to get off this zombie infested map.
     They all jumped back as the ground beneath them peeled back, each readying themselves for an attack. An elevator rose up with only one zombie on it. He then seemed to be going through some zombie ninja fit. The zombie was only three inches tall. Drazin thought it would be funny to bounce him around like a ball.
     "Drazin will leave this to the ninja wannabe."
     "A Mortal Kombat fight. This should be a fun sight."
     Alex took some ninja stance and the shrimpy zombie gave him a funny glance. It then disappeared from view and reappeared hopping on top Alex's shoe. It ran right up his pant leg and into his butt crack. Alex danced about like he was under a flea attack.
     "Get this out of me. I don't play such a tune." Alex dropped his pants and gave all a fool moon. It was like something right out of a cartoon.
     "I said no more naked ninja wannabes. I don't care if you like the breeze."
     The cat ran over and smacked the tiny zombie out of Alex's butt crack. It then hopped on the cat and tried to go on the attack. Orlin just flipped him off and into the air. Brian grabbed a log and straightened up his mohawk hair.
     "Does he do that hair thing for luck?" Cassie shrugged, not really caring, while the rest of the group continued staring.
     Brain swung the log as the tiny zombie came down and it looked like he hit it clear into another town. But it had zipped away just in time. It then ate his mohawk hair, cutting Brian down in his prime.
     "A bald gawker. That is a bit of a shocker." Orlin laughed at Brian's new look. Brian sat and decided to sook.
     "That thing is fast." Mary tried to throw a rock at it and missed it by more than a bit.
     "But I am number one." Hank declared and then the zombie ate his shirt a bit. It left a number two, which was not a hit.
     "This road runner tiny zombie need to be put to rest. Let's go, demon." Pat signaled for Drazin to help out. But Drazin just ignored his shout.
     Pat tried to step on it but then he tripped in zombie spit. He tried to get up and was in OCD hell. This tiny zombie seemed to be ringing everyone's bell. Truedessa tried to help out but she slipped too, once again covered in zombie goo.
     Cassie and Orlin stood side by side in some grass. They taunted the zombie about his tiny mass. He struck a pose and ran at them quick. The tiny zombie then slowed like he was as heavy as a brick. Drazin walked over and stepped on it. He was squashed with one single hit.
     "I guess not burying our waste can help turn tiny zombies to paste."
     The cats laughed about the zombie getting slowed down by their unburied shit. Drazin wiped his boot on the grass trying to rid it of it. The rest of the group got up and tried to get past the embarrassing fight. Pat rolled in clean grass, trying to free himself of his zombie goo plight. The groups then formed and seemed ready to go. Alex feeling violated, Brian feeling bald and Hank trying to hide his new number two logo.
     "So two towers. Who wants to take number one and who wants to take number two?" Mary pointed to each entrance and rolled her eyes at Hank, as he hopped toward number one like he was getting paid by a bank.
     "Number one!"
     "Drazin will go with these guys. Drazin can't help the fleabags all the time."
     Drazin stood with Mary, Brian, Alex and Hank, all ready to make tower one walk the plank. He then shook his head, like a worse sight had come than the undead.
     "You eejits aren't getting out of here without me and my Amazonian lesbian lover." Anne and Elsie popped up from a sewer tunnel with a super powered zombie in hand. It was a shadow like thing that looked rather bland.
     "I believe this is the cause of your trouble." Anne heaved the zombie at Truedessa's feet. She then took her heel and smashed its head into the concrete.
     Truedessa felt her magic coming back after Anne's head smashing attack. Elsie just stood by Anne's side, wishing she could talk. Drazin and Pat were glad she could not squawk. Drazin joined group number two as Anne and Elsie joined group number one's crew.
     "Like hell Drazin is going with the crazy Irish and her one eyed lesbian lover."
     "You eejits won't make it without me."
     "I'd rather take crazy Pat. Good luck and don't go splat."
     Orlin lead the way and Cassie, Truedessa, Pat and Drazin followed him, come what may. Anne marched in her Xena outfit with her group following behind. Alex and Brian really thought she had lost her mind. Both groups entered at the same time and readied themselves for trouble at the drop of a dime.


A bald Gawker, a violated ninja wannabe and a number two Hank? Damn, which is worse could be tough to rank. But I think the ninja wannabe may win. That is just a sin. Seems this story will go anywhere. And by the way, Anne said that is where she wanted her character to go at my lair. The cat is happy to make her a Xena lass. Then she can be made fun of more by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Things You Can Say Once More At My Bay!

So the cat thought he would bring this back and go on another things you can say attack. So just sit back and learn so you don't go splat, with things you can't say to your partner that you can say to your cat.

What a nice pussy!
May sound like a wussy,
But that is just saying it to a cat.
Say it to another and get a bat.

You purr loudly when scratched there.
That could get a swear,
Depending on where is there,
At your scratching lair.

Stop licking that!
Could chew some fat.
Or just run away.
No licking allowed, okay!

That is quite the hairball!
Won't be getting a cat call.
Don't insult the hair,
Up, in or down there.

You have a bald spot!
Some humans hate that a lot.
We just yank out our fur,
For many reasons as the lines blur.

That's some great color in your hair.
Say it if you dare.
May get a kick,
Grey hair many find ick.

Here kitty kitty kitty!
Won't work in many a city.
Maybe Gotham I suppose,
Otherwise, watch your toes.

Do you want a rub there?
Might get a look that is rare.
Or then again maybe a yes.
Depends on the spot I guess.

You shed a ton!
Be prepared to run.
May need to hide too,
If you can at your zoo.

Quit your howling already!
Don't hold steady.
Take off after saying that.
Trust the cat.

There you are, some good tips from my bar. Watch the words you say if you want to have a nice day. Or just add cat to everything you say, then no one will want to make you pay. Unless you piss a cat off by having no bass, then you can't be helped by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Special Guest Three Is A Sight To See!

So first you had a clown attack, then a samurai wannabe berated the cat. What next? A dancing bird? Anyway, now on with the absurd. For the cat is not the only one under attack. I taped this as I was out and about from my shack.

The cat stopped by a place,
In need of some space.
That car is stuffy.
I needed to see clouds that are fluffy.

But instead we heard a name,
The ninja wannabe extended his fame.
So we went in to see,
Expecting the ninja wannabe.

Nope, it was the dude below.
I guess he is in the know.
He must have been stalking a few.
I hope he did not watch you in the loo.

Betsy had her name flung,
I hear her bell is kind of rung.
Manzanita was on the case,
Spreading worm news all over the place.

Brian had his gawk taken,
And unless I was mistaken,
Rosey had her bb gun ready,
I hear her aim is not steady.

Wow, that dude really had you down. I hear he is going from town to town. You will all be famous world wide. I had to give you the video so you would not think I lied. What's that? You want to skin the cat? Catch me if you can mob mass. You will never stop my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Bug Eyed Number Ten At My Den!

The bug eyed creep has more books than Cassie and The Wild Cat. Geez, how can we lose to that dingbat? Anyway, Tarsier Man is back for book number ten. He also got spruced up for the occasion at my den.

Tarsier Man is having a fine day,
When Duke Drazin comes to play.
Damn, that loon is in everything,
Think there is a plan at my wing?

Anyway, on we go.
Duke Drazin lets his eyes glow.
He wants to rule the world.
Tarsier Man gets hurled.

Lost in another reality,
Cue good old Catality.
He is back to help Tarsier Man.
Catality isn't a flash in the pan.

Also he has a witch.
This one doesn't have a glitch.
Although may look kinda scary.
At least she isn't overly hairy.

The trio try to save the day,
And make Duke Drazin go away.
Will it come to pass?
I'm sure not without a little sass.

Click Here for a peer.

Drazin looks rather mighty there, or at least he thinks he has might to spare. We shall see if he can beat the bug eyed freak or get sent up the creek. Join in for Tarsier Man's tenth book pass from my ever so book producing little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

I Admit With This Fit!

The cat gets blamed for this and that all the time at our mat. But the cat does not do it all. That ghost does some things at our hall. Or maybe it is just Cassie, she's not the oh so innocent lassy.

The cat will admit,
Just a little bit,
What he has done,
Because it is fun.

I jump on the counter with ease.
I do it whenever I please.
I'll even sit and lick my ass.
I know, I have such class.

I'll eat anything left open on there.
I do it all the time at the other lair.
Muffins, cake, and even cheese.
I will eat whatever I please.

I chew the tp any time.
I yank it along in my prime.
It can go right down the hall.
The thing can sorta bounce like a ball.

I flick litter all over the floor.
I jump in and out with a roar.
What can you do?
At least its better than #1 or #2.

I have yanked Pat's armpit hair.
I don't seem to care.
But he throws a fit.
I just yank a little bit.

Anything that is rubber and near,
I'll eat it ear to ear.
I will chew and eat until it's gone.
Then spit it back up on the lawn.

I won't touch wet food.
That stuff is just rude.
Get stuck in your teeth with ease.
That surely does not please.

I will run around when it gets light,
Or maybe when it is still night.
Once Pat gets up and is awake,
A nap I will go take.

And I will meow all through the day.
I just like to talk, okay.
Meow when I go, meow when I eat.
I'll meow to meet and greet.

That feels better getting it off my chest. The cat admits such things are just the best. I do whatever I please indeed. It's not my fault things get left out at the other feed. One just has to be aware with each pass when it comes to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

In The Cheap Trickle Along With The Fickle!

The cat watched the other day as some bid on things at another bay. He thought it would be a fun experiment to toy with people at his sea. I know, so mean of me. So he put up a fake ad or two on Kijiji and let the fun ensue.

Price is firm,
Was a used term.
Would you take this or that?
Hmm am I a Spanish talking cat?

How about this?
This price is not a miss.
Have pity on me.
That is all the money I have at my sea.

Hmmm right!
Cheapo #1 in site.
Nope Hank, not talking to you.
Your streak is still in view.

Have to pick up,
Seemed to be another hiccup.
Can you deliver it?
Was said more than a bit.

Why are you ignoring me?
Because you can't read dumbie.
No, didn't respond to any,
As there were too many.

Plus it was fake.
All so a post I could make.
No harm no foul,
Just a whine and a howl.

I was an undercover cat.
Could become a thing at my mat.
Hmmm I like that.
The undercover cat.

Oh yes, stop talking to myself,
Or that elf on the shelf.
It is a year old and in good shape.
People truly are as dumb as an ape.

Insult to apes I think,
Has to be a missing link.
What kind of shape is it in?
Can't you read? What a sin.

Will you take this much?
Why aren't you in touch?
You are rude for ignoring me.
Can I come over to see?

Oh the fun the cat can create, at least for me as I watch a common trait. Cheapos everywhere, even for fake stuff at their lair. If the cat ever has to sell a thing he would rather tie it to a piece of string, stick the other end on the car and turn it to tar. Of course that would waste gas, but it does not bother my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, November 14, 2014

A Little More Hate At My Gate!

The cat just feels like ranting today at his bay. What can I say? Feel free to join the fray. The cat doesn't mind providing a little relief and letting you rant about your grief.

First you have idiots upon high,
Who I wouldn't care if they up and die.
Let's shrink the packaging and charge the same price.
Maybe not die, but I hope they get mutant lice.

Idiots in the parking lot who go round and round.
Thinking a spot up close will be found.
When they have to walk in the damn store anyway.
Lazy turds need a face full of what's in my litter tray.

The mind readers who think they are so great,
That you should instantly have a mind reading trait.
They don't have to tell you what they want.
Instead, in their want should go at your haunt.

The mooch at work who thinks they can take,
Anything on your desk and theirs they can make.
The mooch at home who takes it all.
Thankfully none of them at my hall.

Whiners who would rather sit on their ass and whine,
Whining all day and hurting the ears of the feline,
Instead of doing something about it.
But nooo, they'd rather whine, hiss and spit.

The people who come and say "followed you"
Pfffffft whoopdi friggin doo.
Shove it up the old gazoo.
If that is it, I'd rather clean the loo.

The politically correct nut who sits and glares,
If you say something out of place he/she stares.
Yep, a glare and a stare can be different you know.
Then they try and correct you on the go.

Stupid blogger and its Error 503.
That is all it seems to give me.
No 500, 389 or 242.
Oh no! Just error 503 comes due.

People who think they can cut in line,
Because their nose is in the air and they are divine.
They can take their rump to the back,
I'll take the grocery divider thing and give them a whack.

People who think they know it all and are never wrong.
Whether MD, street bum or in between they sing the same song.
They think everything they say is pure gold.
I hope their feet turn into zombie toes and they get mold.

There was my rant for the day. So nice to do at my bay. Any of those you agree with at my sea? Any you want to share below with me? Let it fly like a bad case of gas. I also hate if that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Blogvengers Part Seven, Some Go To Heaven!

Another review for Pat, click here to visit stat!

Chapter 7
Pushing Up Flowers
Zombies With Powers

     Drazin drove through each zombie he saw. He was glad there was no zombie road kill law. The rest of the group still tried to wrap their head around what Betsy had done. Drazin listened as their tale was spun.
     "First she wanted to feed Drazin, then she was a half zombie freaky thing and now she feeds people to zombies. Does Drazin sense a trend there or what?"
     Drazin smirked while the rest ignored him. They all felt their situation was grim. All their friends were now dead. All they really wanted was a nice comfy bed.
     "I'm number one. I should be driving." Hank declared out of nowhere. He looked the other way as Drazin gave him an evil glare.
     "Look out!" Brian yelled out and Drazin slammed on the brakes heeding his shout.
     "Drazin can never catch a break."
     "I want that." Alex grinned as a zombie with a guitar strapped to him, waved his huge arms like a tree limb.
     "It's arms are bigger than its body." Mary curled up in the back, not wanting to face another zombie attack.
     The super powered zombie waved its arms in the air and they seemed to send out a tune that would raise even a deaf person's neck hair. The group covered their ears while the zombie seemed to be looking for cheers.
     "Drazin will put an end to this."
     Drazin stepped on the gas, going for another zombie run over pass. But as soon as he got near the zombie brought his arms near. They caught the car between them and began to crush it. The group all started to have a fit.
     "I'm number one. I told you I should drive."
     Drazin smacked Hank upside his head. He was not about to lose to some super undead. The car continued to be crushed bit by bit and the roof Drazin started to hit. It was rising up from the crushing of the zombie and soon all the rest joined in on his spree. The roof popped off and all jumped free. Hank continued to shout he was number one with glee.
     "I want that guitar." Alex declared, he felt to beat this zombie he was prepared.
     "Drazin will leave it to you then. Have at it."
     Alex grabbed a rock as the rest sat back and continued to gawk. He biffed it at the zombie's head. It got stuck there seeming to bring the zombie little dread.
     "That was your big plan? Drazin could have done that."
     "Maybe if we all do it at once."
     "Drazin doesn't have time for this."
     Drazin searched the ground and took a gun off the dead guy that he found. He checked to see if it had any ammo in it. He found that it had one shot left that it could spit. He shrugged and walked up in front of the group, ready to turn this zombie into mush like soup. He aimed at the zombie head and then to the car. Alex cried out, "No!" as Drazin blew up the zombie and its guitar.
     "Now that takes care of that." Drazin dropped the gun and by shooting the gas tank he had impressed almost everyone.
     "" Alex fell to his knees and cried, forgetting about his pride.
     "At least you have this, from number one."
     Hank handed Alex a guitar string he had found on the ground. Alex stuck it in his pocket and joined the group. They continued walking, not knowing where to go, hoping no more zombies threw them for a loop.
     "Oh this will be the cream of the crop. We kill them and they count as bonus points." Theresa kept her hand on the button to her trap door as she was ready to kill some more.
     "A little blood thirsty. I like it." Manzanita stopped playing with her herb collection upon Theresa's detection.
     Truedessa, Pat and the cats were coming down the street. They were walking to their own beat. They all seemed as happy as can be, despite being in this over run zombie reality. Truedessa noticed the flower stand and thought it was grand. She wanted some and Cassie thought they looked better to eat than a plum.
     "Get out of here cat." Theresa shooed Cassie away after she jumped up and tried to snack on their flower display.
     "The cat can't take her anywhere. But they do have flowers to spare."
     "I don't trust these wenches. Who sells flowers with such demons about?" Pat listened to the voices in his head and knew these two were going to cause them dread.
     "They are only flowers, Pat." Truedessa ran up to the table and looked them over. To her flowers were as great as a fire hydrant was to rover.
     Pat noticed Theresa's hand hidden away. He smiled while they told him how much he needed to pay.
     "How much are they?"
     "For you Truedessa, only....your life." Theresa cackled and pulled the lever. She and Manzanita thought they were clever.
     "But....but....our streak." Manzanita looked less than thrilled as the pair and the cats were not billed.
     Theresa and Manzantia just glared at the pair while Truedessa took a flower and placed it in her hair. They were standing on thin air. Theresa then began to swear. They would have them added to the streak. They were too busy yelling at the two to die to notice Orlin and Cassie ready to kick them in the butt cheek. Both cats stood ready to go. Pat nodded and yanked Truedessa to the side while the two cats sent Theresa and Manzanita below. They mule kicked them in the butt and their killing streak ending with them making the final cut.
     "I guess all the flowers are now yours." Pat laughed as he hit the button and closed the trap door. He never knew Manzanita had such a loud roar.
     "I think they are mine!" Cassie jumped up and began to chow down. She always loved eating flowers no matter the town.
     "I deserve a few too. I'll eat the blue." Orlin jumped up and joined in, both happy they were able to win.
     "So?" Pat raised his eyebrows to Truedessa and waited for it while glaring at the covering to the pit.
     "You were right. The wenches were evil. But the flowers weren't."
     "They will be when they come out of me and Cassie."
     The cats finished up their snack while Truedessa gave Pat a playful whack. They noticed zombies off in the distance coming their way and knew it was no time for play. They all continued on their way, hoping soon to spot the towers that led home to their bay.
     Betsy limped along the street, having burns from her head to her feet. She was not sure how she survived the blast. But she knew her clean house was a thing of the past. She had seen signs a while back when gathering supplies for her shack. They said, "Blogger Sanctuary This Way," so she decided to follow them as she was in need a of a new bay.
     She came to a gate and peered through. She caught a few people in view. She yelled the best she could, finding that she was misunderstood. They seemed to think she was a zombie. A familiar face came up to her ready to set her free.
     "Eddie..." Betsy whispered, falling to her knees as she felt a cool breeze.
     Eddie Bluelights opened the gate and yanked Betsy through, realizing her burnt to a crisp fate. He lugged her over to a bench and sat her down giving his fist a clench.
     "I really hate zombies."
     "Is that Betsy?" Gloria looked Betsy up and down. She was glad Betsy had made it to her town.
     Gloria ran to tell the others they had a new recruit and that she looked like she had taken on a zombie brute. Gloria then went back to her kitchen she had set up. She poured some soup in to a cup. She glanced at all her dishes on the way out. Zombie head on a plate, zombie toes, zombie liver, were all enough to make any normal person shout. But she fried them up good and knew they had to eat at their new hood.
     "Have some zombie soup to regain your strength."
     Betsy spit the soup out when she heard the name. She thought Gloria was playing some game. The three then heard a big commotion at the gate. It seemed the town was in for a doomed fate.
     Eddie helped Betsy to her feet and the three watched people scurry about the street. Mary Kirkland was running away with her rats. Al was gearing up some barbed wire bats. Betty took in the view from a bench. Stephanie Faris held up a huge wrench. Mama Zen had a chainsaw ready. Susan Gourley was writing her memoir quite steady. The group all seemed preparing for war or something more.
     "What is going on?" Eddie yelled out, with most ignoring his shout.
     "She has brought zombies upon us. A whole army of them. Damn, woman." Holy Ghost Writer screamed and ran, not wanting a zombie tan.
     The gates began to shake and creak. Before long there was no more zombie hide and seek. They busted through the gate and hundreds of zombies came through at an alarming rate. They sniffed out everybody before long and the group of zombies were just too strong. The group had been taken down from dozens to what looked like just three. Gloria, Betsy and Eddie.
     "There is nowhere to run." Gloria looked for a way to go. But zombies were at every exit high and low.
     "I'll go down fighting." Eddie was ready as he held up a log good and steady.
     Betsy smiled finding a second chance and hopped back while Gloria and Eddie took their stance. Zombies rushed them both and soon they were heading south, right into the zombies stomach cavity. the zombies then crowded around Betsy.
     "We will clean this place up and call it home. Now that you have full stomachs, let's get to work." Betsy pointed the zombies to each spot and told them to clean up all the rot.
     "Damn woman!"
     Holy Ghost Writer appeared out of nowhere and the last thing Betsy felt was something whiz into her hair. She had three nails from a nail gun shot into her head. Betsy toppled over dead. The zombies stopped cleaning, happy they were free and ate Betsy with glee. Some grabbed Holy Ghost Writer as well, who was just happy he sent Betsy first to Hell.
     The zombies began to scatter as the one time blogger sanctuary no longer served up humans on a platter. The many bloggers had been picked off one by one. The place was nothing more than rotting leftover flesh under a hot sun.
      Dr. Zoggif threw his hands in the air while sitting in his lair. He watched as the screen read ninety nine percent of the world's bloggers were now dead. He figured soon he would be relaxing at a club med.
     "For years they have taken from me, ignored me, made fun of me and caused my life to be like this. Now they have all paid. A few more to go and my work is complete. I will be rich."
     Dr. Zoggif opened up some program on his computer screen. He laughed as it started to hack each and every blog scene. Then Google Ads from his account appeared on each and every one. After a few minutes he watched as his Google Adwords account jumped a ton.
     "I will be the richest man in the world."
     "Not if you hide in my basement all your life."
     "Mom, mind your own business. Don't ruin my moment."
     The pair shouted at each other through the door. Dr. Zoggif then just hit ignore. He was too busy watching his Google Adwords account rise and rise. It was gaining more money than Africa had flies. His plan was nearing the end, all he needed now was a few more bloggers to join in on the becoming zombie lunch trend. He waited with sheer delight, hoping that one hundred percent mark would soon be in sight.


The evil ones are dead, sort of off with their head. I guess the bad guys do lose. You just have to light the fuse. Of course many went down with the ship. Gonna give the cat any lip? The cat will just give you some gas as he rhymes off his little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Round Twenty Eight Brings Some Hate!

And today Pat, not the cat, hmph to that, is over here. Go to IWSG for a peer.

The cat always seems to find the crazy hoard or they seem to find me when bored. At least I hope they are bored at their sea. Otherwise what sane person would type this crap with glee.

guy with big boobs
old people boobs

Someone has boobs on the brain. Bet they were surprised when they found my lane.

booby fun nuts

And this one wants two for one. Maybe the first guy upped his fun.


Want to walk the plank? Maybe add to the two light hearted fools bank?

minging feet

Need a picture for that? I can haul out the zombie feet stat!

fat man eaten food

That is a given you know. Hope you found a fat eating show.

dirty ink blots

As opposed to what? Clean ones at your hut?

debi nova porno

Umm err nothing here. Might find some cat rear.

cats smell ass

See! I told you so. This guy was in the know.

i can see your thong thru your dress

And you just had to tell? I guess the sight wasn't swell?

is the ground rumbling and bubbling a sea maybe coming to the 74135 zip code

Damn, the mouthiest one ever. Who would type such an endeavor?

look at your feet poem

Look at your feet,
Aren't they neat?
They smell sweet,
For a rat treat.


I am the same early or late. Sorry, no hard R ratings at my gate.

online reputation management akado

Looking for the ninja wannabe to teach you to fight at your sea?

oh you're hungry cooked up some ass for you

That poor donkey will haunt you for ass eating at your zoo.

And the winner of today sure likes to play. I guess they really don't know when to quit. That is easy to tell by their below fit.

I had 18 but it didt land on 18 and I won ass all

I take it gambling did not pay off for the above. At least they got some ass love. If hungry they can give the above their fill. Now that just makes the cat ill. So I will just go pass some gas out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Another Fake In Which To Partake!

The cat got some really great inside scoop at his sea. I just have to be nice and share it all with thee. I swear it is all real. I just have to say it is fake so I don't nullify any deal.

There is no need to ask,
First on task,
Gremlin VS Critters is coming.
The buzz is already drumming.

Next you will see,
Something more freaky.
A female James Bond,
Beyonce is first and Lohan is beyond.

If you aren't in heaven,
With your new 007,
The get ready for this bliss,
Iron Man and Plastic Man will rip the piss.

Yep, they will make a movie,
That all will find so groovy.
They will just sit and talk,
As away you gawk.

Next is Homeward Bound 3.
It will be something to see.
It stars little old me.
I go out on a spree.

Next is a fun one,
You'll see it a ton.
Bill Murray on ice,
You'll pay full price.

Indiana Jones 5 is on its way.
But you will skip its display.
So they are calling it 6.
Those damn studio tricks.

Batman clones will hit screens soon.
All the Batman's will square off at high noon.
Clooney and his bat nipple suit,
Will be the first to get tossed in the garbage chute.

In the next planet of the apes,
Humans won't even dawn capes.
No humans actors will be there,
Apes will play humans by the pair.

And the best for last,
A real blast from the past.
My Pet Monster gets a remake.
I know, so astonishing you do a double take.

Now you are in the know, all thanks to my show. Ready to hop in line? Isn't all that news just divine? The cat has given you an all access pass. No need to thank my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, November 10, 2014

Special Guest Two Just For You!

Well it seems there is hate for the cat, who would have guessed that? Or a challenger I suppose. Maybe he is just mad his head got stuck in a hose? I mean look at that hairdo, maybe Brian would be the only one to like its view.

The cat is grand,
To many across the land.
Except one or two,
Who come to view.

Some hate here and there,
Come once in a while to my lair.
But this is the first,
That it came as video burst.

This guest is just rather rude.
He gives lots of attitude.
I'll have to hire the ninja wannabe,
To take him out at my sea.

Wait! He's in the litter box.
Maybe I will just pelt him with rocks.
His sword can't stop them all.
Then he'll give a cheery cat call.

Maybe get that sword,
And give him an award.
Like a hair cut.
Enjoy the hate at my hut.

Now the cat makes fun of himself too. He will go anywhere at his zoo. Does that take the sting of being murdered by a clown away? No? Oh well, I guess the cat has hell to pay. I wonder if Optimistic figured that clown's question out yet? Wait! Don't tell this pet. Samurai wannabes are just crass. I will have to pelt him with what comes out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Imagine That With The Cat!

So the cat had an idea for a ditty at his sea as Pat went all non rhyming with that latest novel added to our book tree. You know Max Blizzard and The Gem of Camelot. Seems to be a hit more than not. Anyway, this is what came due. Not as sure on it as others though at my zoo.

Along comes a problem,
Stumped you grump and growl.
Stuck, sinking in the mud.
Left alone crying foul.

What can you do?
Can't find a resolution.
Things are out of control.
How about a new solution.

Squash that problem like a gnat.
Use that given imagination,
And you're free, imagine that,
Use that given imagination and imagine that.

Trapped in the ever spinning world.
Can't break free from strife,
Too much routine on your mind,
Left bogged down from life.

Passengers on the bus of fate.
Drivers taking you for a spin.
Trapped with no exit or end.
So here's what you do to win.

Squash that problem like a gnat.
Use that given imagination.
And you win life back, imagine that.
Use that given imagination and imagine that.

You can't hope to win,
Following the set rules.
To beat the stacking odds,
You have all the tools.

Imagine that!
You can change life,
Just imagine that,
You free from strife.

Let your imagination fly free.
New roads will come up to bat.
Don't be a stick sinking in the mud,
And let your imagination just imagine that.

So what do you think? A good missing link? Bring you to the brink? Another anyway I add to my rink. Hey, a little extra promo isn't bad. So I figured I'd shove it up on Youtube at my pad. So use that imagination class and imagine along with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Brain Rot Been Caught?

The cat skipped it last year but now it is all you damn well hear. There are friggin signs on signs hanging around. There are too many to even pee on for a hound, which is what they are worth. The Flu Shot spreads its filth across the Earth.

A sign at every place.
The flu shot you should embrace.
A sign on every door.
Listen to our lore.

The "safest" way to prevent the flu.
Forget hand washing at your zoo.
It is just oh so safe for one and all.
Believe the writing on the wall.

If you're pregnant, get it now.
Even give it to your pet cow.
If you're young or elderly get it today.
Continue to listen to what we say.

Pffffffffft stick it up your ass.
Is what I say to them in mass.
I've said it right to their flu shot pushing face.
And I'll say it again at a steady pace.

It has been tested out and about.
Half got a placebo, half got the crap they shout.
There was no difference in numbers at all!
Same amount in each case got the flu at their hall.

It is the biggest placebo going itself.
Just as magical as a Santa elf.
Oh you won't get the flu with it,
But if you do it won't be as bad a hit.

Pfffffft that is like saying a little crap has a different smell,
Compared to large crap where you dwell.
Crap is the best comparison for it
For it is completely full of shit.

The mercury in them alone will screw you.
You are MUCH better off catching the flu.
That will go away in a week or so,
Where as the mercury can bleep you up forever at your show.

Take them if you are sick?
Pffffft hit whoever said that with a brick.
Your body is already fighting junk off,
Add mercury to it and it will further scoff.

Safe is the biggest shame of all.
Safer to lick the litterbox at your hall.
And just one final thing from me to you,
There has been no increase in death rates from the flu.

That is right. No increase in death rates from before the flu shot and now with the flu shot on our Earthly site. So what does it do? Gives you piece of mind so you are lazy, don't wash your hands and catch the flu. But ohhhhh it won't be as bad. Pffffft right! And I live in King Tut's pad. Don't be sheep and look things up, from multiple places, when it comes to such crap. It can give you worse things than the big dirt nap. Flu shot pusher advice is worth less then that of a singing bass. That is just the opinion of my little rhyming ass.

 Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, November 7, 2014

At What Age Do You Disengage?

So the cat was getting low on food and Pat did not want me giving him attitude. He went out one night around dusk and got some. I guess he was a happening chum. He go cat calls from two drunk cougars outside the pet shop. Thankfully he did not chat or stop. But they were old as their calls took hold. Well older than him, way more than a whim.

So how old do you go?
Maybe it's how low?
All about the money?
Only way you call an old fart, honey?

40-50 they were at least.
Sure would have scared this rhyming beast.
10-20 years older or more?
Ummm pffft to that at my shore.

6 years either way,
Is the limit at my bay.
Rather not be close to diapers or jail bait.
That is not a fun fate.

But to each their own.
Moan and groan at the tone.
Want to be a dirty old man?
If rich, you may have a fan.

Or a cougar could bite you.
Some may like it to come due.
The cat needs no more cats though,
Just so you all know.

Not as bad as the old fart across the way,
Will never live down that day.
So at least anything else is up.
Rather get leg humped by a pup.

Age may just be a number at play,
But the bigger the display,
The closer your odds of some ground,
On top of you being found.

So a number it may be,
But have to be close to me,
Or screw that I say.
Sorry, not literally, no gutter play.

Closer in age to ones mother,
Is another reason not to smother.
Don't even want to go there.
Good thing there is no rhyme to spare.

All about the love?
Like destined from above?
So how old do you go?
Maybe it's how low?

So there was a super dirty old man and two cougars who need to get a pet shop ban. Damn, Pat is sure racking things up at his sea. So how old is too old for thee? Think Pat should have went with the 50 year old? Hey, she could have a lot of gold. Yeah, still no way hosa. The cat says stick with own age at our bay. Ever have a cat call there lad or lass? It did not impress my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Blogvengers Part Six, The Group Takes Their Licks!

Chapter 6
Show You Ours
Zombies With Powers

     Mary and the dVerse crew awoke to the dawning of the day, as the sun shined straight into Betsy's bay. She spied Alex in some ninja wannabe stance. He was giving the zombies an evil glance. Hank was declaring he was number one. Neither trusting Betsy's zombies as they enjoyed the sun.
     "Hank, where is Brian?"
     "He went some way. But he is still number two today!" Hank gave a number one cheer and even slapped his own rear.
     "That guitar killer must have got eaten by zombies. Ouch! I was just kidding." Alex rubbed his arm after Mary threw a book at him and caused him harm.
     "I'll sniff him out."
     "She's been hanging around those dogs of hers too much."
     Mary went into the kitchen to find Betsy cooking up a storm, she knew this was just the norm. She heard muffled cries and then Betsy's face turned from happy to that of crazy eyes.
     "Betsy has kidnapped Brian." Mary yelled while Betsy tried to whack her with a spoon, realizing Betsy had sure gone wacko at her sand dune.
     "Chow time, boys. Come and get it." Betsy waved her arm and smiled as in the house her zombie staff piled.
     "I'm still number one. Number one at getting out of here." Hank jumped through the window and ran into the street. He was not about to become a treat.
     "I'm okay with number two."
     Alex followed suit and just made it out, avoiding a zombie brute. The rest of the dVerse crew tried to follow but on them all the zombies began to chew and swallow. Screams echoed throughout Betsy's house while she just smiled being as quiet as a mouse.
     Mary avoided the zombies and made her way down the hall. She noticed the locked door and heard Brian's muffled call.
     "Looking for this?" Betsy held up the door key and then tossed it to Mary. "Go ahead, you are all doomed anyway. At least they will be good and fed to clean this mess up."
     Mary unlocked the door and ran down the stairs as above her zombies ate her friends in pairs. She ungagged Brian and loosened the ropes holding his hands together. Neither had any idea how this attack they were going to weather.
     "I hope you don't have that trait of your so called twin."
     "Not wearing any underwear and crazy zombie hoarder are two things we don't have in common." Brian gawked the room, trying to find a way out of this doom.
     "She did that to him?" Mary pointed to Silver Fox who was still gagged with socks.
     Brian yanked the sock from his mouth and he slightly moved his head to the south. Mary moved some boxes aside and found a spot Betsy was trying to hide. Brian used Mary's key and unlocked Silver Fox's chains. But he said he had had enough of life's pains. He signaled for Brian to give him a gun and then whispered for him to run.
     Betsy came down the stairs ready to gloat. Stair by stair she laughed louder, hitting a high note. She gasped as she saw no legs Silver Fox lying on the floor. He used what little strength he had to ensure there would be no more.
     "Sorry about this, doll."
     "No! My nice clean house."
     Silver Fox fired two shots into some propane tanks sitting nearby and within seconds everything in the house began to fry. The zombies, the dead, Betsy and her clean home all blew up like it was the fourth of July at the Superdome.
     "Well at least there are less people to stop me from being number one." Hank said under his breath, trying to make light of all the death.
     The four remaining survivors watched Betsy's property burn and then heard a car come around the turn. It parked in front of them and they were ready to fight, until the sun reflected off a bald head and gold armor ever so bright.
     "Looks like Drazin missed all the fun. So what has Drazin here? A Gawker, who Drazin hopes is through with his island stint, A ninja wannabe, who Drazin hopes doesn't get naked and send clones after Drazin this time and you two? Drazin doesn't know you two."
     "But I'm number one!" Hank pouted and stomped his feet, as they group heard more zombies coming down the street.
     "Well are you coming with Drazin or what? Drazin doesn't have all day."
     Drazin got back in the car and the four were not behind by far. He then sped off down the road, still hoping like the other realities he had been sent too, that these four did not go all crazy mode.
     Truedessa and Pat had found a tree and rested below it going on an eating spree. The cats licked up the food they were given too. Pat still seemed not to have a clue.
     "That demon has left us to perish. I will call upon Merlin to bring Excalibur so I can smite him."
     "Pat is off his rocker. Of course that is not a shocker."
     Truedessa flicked dirt at his face and his OCD tendencies he began to embrace. Pat came back to reality quite quick. In that moment everything seemed to click.
     "The voices in my head can't trump my OCD."
     "Dirt, tell me about it!" Cassie licked herself clean, rolling her eyes and hating the dirty zombie scene.
     "What's a little dirt between friends." Truedessa's smile turned to dread as some sort of radar went off in her head.
     "I know that look. Now what?"
     The group looked around for danger and then noticed an oncoming strange. He had a big hat and was rather fat. His face even looked like that of a rat.
     "You think he is a pet of Mary Kirkland's? She must have one big cage." Pat laughed at the guy and he soon learned all was a lie.
     "What is that? He is no longer fat. Hell, he is no longer a he. Now he is a she."
     "Great! A shape shifting zombie. What next?"
     Orlin and Cassie scurried up the tree, looking for some sort of safety. Pat and Truedessa prepared for a fight, the voices in Pat's head once again took flight.
     "Avast yee land lubber."
     "Pat there is no boat, choose a voice of note." The cat yelled from up in the tree, trying to hide himself behind Cassie.
     The zombie kept slowly moving forward toward the pair. It then turned into a lion with tye dye hair. It did not seem to be able to control its power. Truedessa then let loose some magic and down came a crystal shower.
     The zombie was quickly turned to mush, as crystals were even lodged in its tush. But before the group could cheer and release their fear, it began to take form again. This time it turned into three men.
     "It's like that Greek dragon thing. Hey, I watched Disney's Hercules too at my wing."
     Truedessa and Pat knew the cat was right and they had to change the tactics of the fight. Pat stuck his finger out like a gun and watched as each of the three men turned into a nun.
     "Again with the nuns. Pat, we are really going to Hell." Cassie chimed in, still not sure on how they would win.
     "Don't worry buckaroo, this super powered zombie is through."
     Pat pulled back his finger and let it linger. He shot it off like rounds from a gun. But unlike Gawker Island, out came not a single one. Truedessa placed her hand on his shoulder and his finger started to smolder. He shot and energy flew from it, with each nun taking a hit. They remained on the ground and Pat grabbed a stick, he rammed it through all three wobbly zombies and hoped it did the trick. They then became as one once more and he waved his arm for Truedessa to explore.
     "You are going to owe me for this one, a lot."
     "Thy, but my OCD says it has to be thee."
     Pat was his normal self for a second or two, pretending a voice was still coming due. He knew what they had to do was rather eww and it was something he would never want to do. The zombie turned into a giant thing that looked like an overgrown Critter and it seemed rather bitter.
     "Here goes nothing." Truedessa let go of Pat's shoulder and ran across the land like an incoming boulder.
     "Yuck but good luck."
     "I have to lick myself just watching this."
     Pat smirked knowing all would be fine as he listened to the comments of each feline. He watched Truedessa jump right into the mouth of the thing and then its body began to sing. it was vibrating from head to toe and before long it started to glow. Seconds later it burst into nothing at all, leaving Truedessa covered in zombie goo while the cats gave her a cat call.
     "Pffft, zombies with powers have nothing on your powers." Pat laughed and ran the other way, as Truedessa tried to give him a zombie goo hug after he had his say.
     "I think it is safer if we stay in the tree. I don't want that goo on me."
     The two cats watched one while Truedessa and Pat ran across the green lawn. Pat trying not to get caught as many of his voices seemed to agree the idea was not very hot.
     Dr. Zoggif ignored the rants from his mother, wishing she would go bother some other. He watched his screen reach ninety five percent and he knew only a few dozen bloggers in the world were left to repent.
     "Pizza is here, you better pay for it because I am not going to."
     Dr. Zoggif muttered to himself as he grabbed some cash and to the front door he was in a dash.
     "This pizza is cold."
     "Well warm it up." The driver waved and walked off while Dr. Zoggif continued to scoff.
     "Next on my list to rid the world of, pizza delivery men."
     Dr. Zoggif took his pizza back to his lab in the basement and saw his mother poking around his machines vent.
     "Mom, don't touch that. What did I say about touching my experiments. Get out!"
     "If you could ever get one to work, you could actually get paid."
     Dr. Zoggif pushed his mother out the door and locked it behind him as his machine gave a roar. He ran over and checked it over as fast as he could and noticed a gear had come loose that his mother had not understood.
     "Damn it! Pain in the ass mother."
     Dr. Zoggif fixed it as fast as he could not wanting to let the remaining bloggers break free and get back home to their hood.
     "Truedessa , did you feel that?"
     The group stood still as they felt a little chill. It was like there was some kind of shift, however swift. Truedessa and Pat then each caught a glimpse of a few towers and they now had a destination that would rid them of this world and zombies with powers.
     "Where are we going? Did you two have a showing?"
     "Let's get our Lord of the Rings on."
     The group honed in on the towers while Truedessa dreamed of hot showers. She still was picking off the zombie goo, disgusted over what had come due. The cats thought she smelled and steered clear while Pat avoided the goo she threw out of fear. They knew the towers were guarded with tons of zombie might but the group was not afraid as long as they were together in the fight.


I guess now they all know where to go, so no more searching high and low. But what will get in their way? I guess we will find out next time at my bay. Are you rhymed out yet class? It still doesn't matter to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.