Saturday, November 1, 2014

You're Approved! Oops, We Moved!

Don't you just love when you get a message from the bank or something else that lets you put gas in your tank, and it says instant approval on it? It feels like you won with their fit.

We'll give you more debt,
That you can bet.
You will pay and pay,
Each and every day.

You are approved for it.
Just fill out the form a bit,
Then you'll get your money.
We aren't trying to be funny.

It is that easy.
These things aren't cheesy.
We are a great bank,
So no need to walk the plank.

We aren't like King Abubu.
We will never lie to you.
There is no chance,
With our instant approval stance.

You filled it out?
Yippeee we shout.
Just wait in the mail,
New credit will set sail.

Umm err oopsy.
We are so sorry.
But you were not approved after all,
You need to read the fine print on the wall.

We can send it on a disk,
You are just such a risk.
Instant approval went out the door.
But you can try for an encore.

Maybe this time you will win,
We can do you in.
Take more interest from you.
Just wait and try anew.

I bet you are glad,
You applied at your pad.
Now you know,
Approval rates are low.

What? Did we just go politician on you?
Damn, I guess we sure can moo.
We just need the fat cow.
Our rates can really wow.

The cat has no need for such crap but thought it would be fun to test their instant approval rap. Nope, they are a liar. I guess they walk a fine wire. But hey, saved $20 on groceries for signing up at my bay. So they paid me to say no way. Nothing wrong with that pass as it just saved money for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

69 comments:

  1. "it says instant approval on it and it feels like you won
    Look again on the fine prints they just pulled a fast one
    Someone to release money
    It is one that is not easy
    They're happy to run rings around you and think it is fun

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That they are happy
      And they get a little flappy

      Delete
  2. There's always a catch in those letters , I found out much to my cost.
    Excellently put Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, a catch comes due
      Most they've done to me is said screw you

      Delete
  3. Three little words, nothing to fear
    No need to get huffy, crying in your beer
    Ballads have been written about three litte words
    Brings out romance, even in the nerds
    The three little words you should tear in shreads
    "You are approved," now go and take your meds

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha approved to the looney bin
      That would just be a sin
      In the end the only one that will win
      Are those with the you are approved pin

      Delete
  4. As a cat I get those all the times MOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol the perks of the trade
      They never fade

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. Yeah works for me
      $20 I can keep at my sea

      Delete
  6. I hate those things, Pat!
    Funny riff on bank harassment,
    where you're at.
    Terry and I each get them
    all the time.
    Then I have to shred, shred, shred;
    something I dread!
    Have a good one!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I just shred away too
      Except when i can get stuff back at my zoo

      Delete
  7. A debt free life I live
    to greedy banks I'll not give.
    No payments for me
    I own all at my sea.

    It seems everyone has loads of credit cards. They actually use them to go to the mall and buy clothes. Do they not understand they are taking out a loan to buy a feckin pair of shoes? If you can't pay cash for it, you can't afford it. Full stop.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is sure the way to be
      Then you won't get screwed at your sea
      Mine are rather umm large
      Need to chuck them off a barge

      Delete
  8. I use them as an advantage as some do give deals

    they never got a extra penny from me in the end though

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I never give them a thing
      Just take advantage of their ring

      Delete
  9. A $20 savings on groceries is a good deal. :) I wish one of the keys that comes in the junk mail would actually start a car with my name on it. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that would be great
      But then they'd hit you with 50% interest rate

      Delete
    2. And 1/3 of the value in taxes for any prize over $500. So yeah... never mind.

      Delete
    3. haha not up here
      Anything you win is free of taxes from money to gear

      Delete
  10. We get these huge checks at work. If we actually cashed them, we'd go berserk. It's tempting when you need money, but those interest rates aren't funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they are rather high
      But they give you airmiles to fly lol

      Delete
  11. I am moving banks this month due to their waiver of fees ~ Thank goodness they approved my line of credit as well ~ I know, more debts, what can I say ~ Slave to work, that's what we are ~

    Hey, first snow today ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm thinking on moving banks too
      Ugg got debt up the wazoo
      Blah to snow
      Here just rain on the go

      Delete
  12. The bills they are a comin' due
    They'll hunt you down
    Like a nasty flu
    They'll eat you up
    And spit you out
    'Til all you can do
    Is scream or pout!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unless you throw it in
      Damn them all and get out your tin

      Delete
  13. Someone told be to take all the postage paid envelopes from those guys and return them with one of my bookmarks. Free marketing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm that is not a bad plan
      Who knows, maybe create many a fan

      Delete
  14. Ha, I throw those free offers right into my recycling bin!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's where they should go
      And free to do so

      Delete
  15. Yeah, you're one in a million.
    No, make that a billion.
    We pick you, though
    So it just goes to show
    That we want your dough.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah want the rate
      To just inflate
      Come and apply
      We'll charge you until you die

      Delete
  16. Credit can be good
    if not abused too much
    some good deals out there
    but some to avoid and not to touch!

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah have to avoid a ton
      Or they will make you run
      The credit man be after you
      If you get more than two

      Delete
  17. A 20 win right there. More then you'll ever get on most lottery tickets

    ReplyDelete
  18. No need to walk the plank, just jump
    Unless you name is Donald Trump
    We are your friend, you buddy too
    Now sign here and eat your shoe
    We never lie, were just saying hi
    As we try hard to make you cry
    Here's a million, why, take two
    That's how much we love you!
    Let them eat um... spit
    Yeah, that's it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is the way
      Screw them I say
      But I'll take the free dough
      Beats a lawn to mow

      Delete
    2. Free dough....
      What a show!
      Have some snow
      May melt too
      Like my dream about a shoe

      Delete
  19. My pet peeve - credit card companies. Modern day loan sharks - all done legally. And we the needy masses fall for it! Nothing more fun than cutting that plastic in two!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is all they are
      Near and far
      Can stick their card
      At least they don't kill and bury us in the yard

      Delete
  20. I win a cruise every day! No easy credit though- you can contact the credit bureau and ask them to halt unsolicited credit offers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never knew you could do that
      Easy way to avoid the umm strat

      Delete
  21. I hate getting those in the mail.
    I immediately put them in the recycling pail.
    Publishers Clearing House really makes me mad.
    "Buy magazines that are just so rad!"
    No thanks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah they are a pain in the ass
      Act like they are so high class

      Delete
  22. Oh yes Prince Abu Crappola told me in an email that I won the sum of 2.1 million dollars. it was on the internet so it must be true.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yeah go for that
      He'll even throw in a golden mat

      Delete
  23. Replies
    1. And throw them out
      But don't eat them like trout

      Delete
  24. You've won a trip
    All expenses paid
    Later to find
    You've been nicely played

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is the way
      They do it at every bay

      Delete
  25. When I want to be a biotch, I take the contents of what they sent me... rip it up and put it back in the postage paid envelope.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha that would be fun to do
      Will remember that at my zoo

      Delete