Saturday, December 6, 2014

Crazy Much, With The Touch And Such?

The cat was out and about the other day and no, Gung and Ho weren't on display. Instead there were humans that were just as crazy. Maybe their brains are a little hazy?

A pretty slot machine.
It is all nice and clean.
I am going to win,
Because clean isn't a sin.

Err ummm right!
If that was the case at any site,
My OCD would be a millionaire.
Go choke on some cat hair.

Line one is a bar,
Line 2 is one by far.
If I put my finger on line three,
Another bar you will see.

Pffft okay!
You touch it and it goes your way.
Are you a bit drunk?
Your brains have surely sunk.

Nice machine, let me win.
You don't want to do me in.
Be good in this spin.
I will share my gin.

Yep, talk to a mechanical device.
It will be oh so nice.
It will eat your money,
And laugh at you like you're funny.

With my uber secret book,
I will win at every casino nook.
Don't look at my uber secret book.
Buy one of the thousands of copies if you want a look.

So uber secret anyone can buy it?
And yet no jackpots are hit?
The uber secret is the thousands who buy,
Are making rich the author girl or guy.

My system can't be beat.
I will leave the casino in defeat.
No one has thought of this before.
This is something of lore.

Pffft right once again.
You just have a magic pen.
If you really believe that,
Then your brain cells went scat.

Yep, you find all the nuts at the casino, thinking they have a great special way to win dough. But the casino is the only winner, as gamblers go home unable to afford dinner. Counting cards is the only way, but that is frowned upon at their bay. Still better odds than the lottery though, but the odds of winning a ton are still low. The only green most will ever see is the grass, which is tasty to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

56 comments:

  1. It'll be a real thriller if the casino is the victim
    That will tell them there are those who will win
    Will not cause an impact
    That one can expect
    It is still no doubt a great thrill just the same

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The victim being the casino
      Would be great to give a go
      Take all their dough and run
      That would be more than fun

      Delete
  2. Plant a radish, get a radish every single time
    Maybe at the most you spend may be a simple dime
    Play the slots with your dough, watch the fruit pass by
    You'll end up with empty pockets and a lemon from the sky

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That you surely will
      Just shove in a bill
      Hit the button over and over
      Better off letting it be eaten by rover

      Delete
  3. I have never been to a casino in my life and considering my luck it is probably wise if I never go. I don't have the money to spare to just piss away...so never have really had the desire to go.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With such luck it may be good to stay away
      I've taken them for a bunch in my day

      Delete
  4. Maybe the zombies need to pay a visit to the casino!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I've never been to a Casino before and I don't think I'll ever go. I don't even play the lottery as gambling makes me a nervous wreck. It's all a big scam as far as I'm concerned and is just a way of preying on desperate people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lmao the lottery makes you a nervous wreck?
      I've screwed them over at their deck
      Easy as can be
      Just have to remain calm at ones sea

      Delete
  6. I'll like to go one day, there'a a Native American one about two hours away.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fun to go once
      As long as one doesn't gamble like a dunce

      Delete
  7. I've never really been a fan, scam is all it is

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They scam a way
      And win at the end of the day

      Delete
  8. I have won a little but some people are crazy

    ReplyDelete
  9. That is something I have never done and thank COD, I haven't. I would have nothing left, not that I have anything to lose. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah when you have none to bet
      Stay home with the pet

      Delete
  10. When I was in Montana. Manzanita and I went to a casino. Although I don't normally win... I did win a couple of bucks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well you won some
      That sure doesn't make one glum

      Delete
  11. Casino's can be fun but, you have to go
    knowing you might lose some dough
    I have felt lucky and won at time or ten
    so I was a happy winner at my den
    I watched a guy next to me win 40 K
    sure that doesn't happen everyday..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I've taken them for a bunch
      Enough to help with the credit crunch
      40K would be nice
      Nicer to win it twice

      Delete
  12. Yeah, those "uber secret books" always cracked me up, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've seen some sit with them and expecting to win
      Gullible as can be at many a bin

      Delete
  13. ha - mostly the casino is the winner indeed... i only played once at an event - roulette and crashed the bank - ha - that was fun... though i wouldn't try in real life...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah real life can cause strife
      Lose everything you have in life

      Delete
  14. To gamble's a waste
    a trap just for saps.
    It WON'T pull me in.
    Slots? Pffft! Oh, look! Craps!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can cause saps glee
      At least better odds than the lottery

      Delete
  15. This was such a fun post, Pat! My hubby even came over and listened to me read it ~ Quite a compliment for you, since he avoids my blogging world as much as possible. Then he was bugging me to send you a photo of his latest Royal Flush! I said NOT ~ beyond my technical capabilities!

    I admit it ~ I'm a gambler. I love to play Black Jack in the little poker pit upstairs in the Bonanza Casino in Central City. It's small and has a regular clientele ~ and dealers with names like Two Fingered Jack, Calamity (Jane), Vinny, and Tsunami. I don't play expecting to win; it's just such fun entertainment in an old time casino in a national historical site. And I know the dealers and some of the regulars which adds to the fun. I love to imagine Doc Holiday and Buffalo Bill and other old-timers who were in Central City.

    As for slots ~ they will eat your money. I don't go near them! Video poker sometimes ~ but I won't play any game that I don't thoroughly know the statistical rules for, and you must, must check pay tables before you play. Sometimes you really have to hunt for a game and a machine that's more favorable, and if I can't find one, I walk. Most machines are really a losing game, and quickly. Vegas was better when it was run by the Mob ~ corporate bean counters are far worse! Did I read somewhere you are an accountant? Sorry if I disrespected you! LOL! Thanks for this fun, fun post! Have fun under your sun!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oops! I got carried away! Sorry!

      Delete
    2. lmao wow look at you go
      With a rant at my show
      Fine by me
      Rant away with glee haha

      Yeah you have to be sure
      As some have an allure
      But most are crap
      Can lose ones money like a sap

      Fun is another matter though
      Not expecting to win at your show
      Just playing for the fun
      Is fine when done

      Roulette and poker I play
      Once in a while at my bay

      Delete
  16. Oh, I think a person has to be nuts to gamble! I have been to our local casino only a few times & that has been to go to the restaurants there....which are good; but so often I see people stumbling into the casinos who look like they will be spending their last dime on the slots. I am more interested in the comings and goings of zombies (LOL) than in casinos!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah the ones who spend their last dime
      Thinking all will hit prime
      Are rather sad indeed
      As that surely doesn't take seed

      Delete
  17. Some card games based on math though...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Counting cards is frowned upon though
      But it can be done to make them eat crow

      Delete
  18. I don't do anything that takes my money and doesn't give me a new pair of shoes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sure you could win those too
      But they may not be new

      Delete
  19. Slot machines I've done
    but can't say that I've won!
    ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I've won a bit on those
      Well waiting for the roulette wheel to open up and pose

      Delete
  20. Casinos are big and fancy
    because they always seem to win
    and if anyone tries to tell you differently
    just look at them and give a big grin.

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is all one has to do
      As they are out to screw you

      Delete
  21. I gave up doing the lottery some time ago.
    Loved the read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can suck the money away
      At many a bay

      Delete
  22. I have been and betted
    And won here and there
    Just a fun thing to do
    If the gambling is rare

    But I had a friend
    And he wound up in debt
    Had to declare bankruptcy
    His match he finally met

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All from gambling to much
      Way more than a touch
      They always win
      In the end do us in

      Delete
  23. I'll put a quarter in here or there... not overly fond of throwing away money though, so that's about it for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A quarter isn't bad to give a go
      Could win, you never know

      Delete
  24. My in-laws like to go to the casino once or twice a week. It's a way for them to get out of the house for a little cheap entertainment. I used to question why they did it so often, but then thought, you know, everyone has their vices. We (general we here) throw away money on dining out, or crafts, cigarettes and booze. If they want to waste $30 or $40 every time they go out, if it makes them happy, who cares. Though, I don't agree with the idiots who throw their entire life savings into those machines hoping to strike it rich.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. true, we all have vices of some sort
      So if they want to play a bit for sport
      Let them go and have fun
      But yeah the ones that drop their life savings are crazy by a ton

      Delete