Monday, June 30, 2014

Bored In The Lobby? Go Get A Hobby!

No need to be bored at your sea. Just sit back and listen to me. Yes, I know, you read not listen at my show, but I do not care as away I blare. The cat will get you a hobby with ease, so need no to sit and watch the breeze. Unless you are the Gawker, he is a breeze stalker.

You can't lose.
Forget the news.
Hobbies are here.
Far and near.

Glacier Surfing!
Beats astro turfing.
One freezes your ass,
The other a rash mass.

Volcano Boarding!
Don't go volcano hoarding.
There is enough for all.
Warning! Could die if you fall.

Train Surfing!
Beats butt nerfing.
Or maybe not,
As things can go to pot.

Cosplay!
Dress up at your bay.
Like who gives a crap.
Then trot across the map.

Duct Tape Art!
Take the tape to heart.
Make what springs to mind.
If your mind you can find.

Finger and Toes!
Oh my ocd woes.
Collect the nails of each.
Whoever you can reach.

Condom Collecting?
A nose curl I'm detecting?
A company in China thinks they are swell
Taking used ones and making hairbands to sell.

Crayon Carving!
Look below if you're starving.
But here you can create.
Crayon totem poles is your fate.

Eating Inanimate Objects!
One for the rejects.
That chair looks yummy,
Could make you a mummy.

Now you have a new hobby or three to start with glee. Which one will you choose? Many are sure to leave a nifty bruise. Or leave you kinda, maybe, sorta dead. But do not worry your pretty little head. Try new hobbies in mass, just do not do them near my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Make The Call To A Near Umm Far Away Hall!

It seems every single company has the same call center these days. It is like one big loop around maze. They always go back to the same spot. Basically to some far off sand lot.

Something breaks,
You get the shakes.
This cannot be.
What can be done by thee?

You find the toll free number,
This interrupted your slumber.
They swear they are near,
So you stick the phone to your ear.

You hear lines are busy,
Throwing you in a tizzy.
But forget the hissy fit,
That music is sure it.

The robot voices chimes in,
Saying you will soon win.
Do not go away,
You are in the call fray.

The music is in your head,
It is causing dread.
You can repeat the robot,
It annoys a whole lot.

Then you hear a click.
They pick up some slick.
Ready to hep you,
From a far away zoo.

They can help you out,
They know what it's about.
Just give access they say,
To your computer today.

A remote login is fine.
We stay behind the line.
We won't surf your porn.
You don't have to be torn.

Maybe take some info for this,
Something you will not miss.
Until one faithful day,
When our bills you have to pay.

But remote access is okay.
Listen to what we say.
It will be fixed in no time flat.
Trust us, you silly cat.

Yeah right! Not in the sun or darkness of night. Thankfully the cat has no need to use such things at his feed. At least not much to date. But that will never be such a fate. Install a keylogger they could with ease and then away with your info they will breeze. Do not let anyone trespass, trust my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Offense You Say? Just Another Day!

So the cat was minding his own business the other day and opened his email at his bay. There was some junk there and one who likes to blabber at our lair, but also a little more hate. This one was straight forward at our gate.

I take offense!
I got from the dense.
1200 posts or so,
And offense can show?

Well I never would have guessed.
Glad you confessed.
Offense to what?
The cat using ass instead of butt?

Oh no!
Gotta go!
Offense is had.
You are sad.

Not sorry I offended.
What? Expected things to be defended?
Never going to happen here.
For anything can offend anyone across the sphere.

No matter what you say,
It may give someone a bad day.
So the cat does not worry about that.
Offense can go splat.

What does it really do?
Doesn't bother me, just you.
Hold on it and let it fester,
Like a child wanting to pester.

In the end you're the only one,
Who gets hot in the bun,
Or under the collar,
Whether you are silent or hollar.

Is that too direct?
Is that offense I detect?
Uh oh!
Don't you have a lawn to mow?

You can only hurt you,
With most things at your zoo.
Like taking offense to stuff,
To which I say tough.

Get on with your day.
Let things be as they may.
And if something offends me or you,
Just give a whoopdi friggin doo.

Offended anyone lately at your sea? The nuts just seem to find me. Now obviously there are sicko things that offend all, those never go on any a decent blog wall, but as for the ordinary crap, the cat does not care if he offends anyone across the map. Send the hate all you like, it just shows a nerve I can strike. And as said, in the end, you are the only one letting such things fester in your head. It can be worse than a bad case of gas. That is all from my offensive little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, June 27, 2014

With This Stream We Tackle The Theme!

Ever notice how the TV theme is dead and now the title is mostly all that is said? Ever notice how the TV theme is dead and the titles are so long they hurt your head? The Following, poof, that is all you are swallowing. House of Cards, waiting, waiting, waiting, goes on forever as your pupils are dilating. But none have a catchy theme on their stream. I wonder why? Shhhh commercials are not the cause, you lie.

New York is where I'd rather stay,
I get allergic smelling hay.
So they give hay a bad name.
No wonder they lost their fame.

Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name,
And they are always glad you came.
Can't have that, oh no!
Some sexual innuendo may grow.

Then one day he was shooting at some food,
And up from the ground came a bubbling crude.
Advertising the NRA and big oil.
That has to annoy one with the hat of tin foil.

Here we come, walking down the street,
Getting the funniest looks from everyone we meet.
What? It promotes walking.
Damn, that has to go as it ruins phone talking.

Sunday, Monday happy days.
Tuesday, Wednesday happy days.
What? Happy people all around?
Have to bury that theme song in the ground.

We've been waiting for you,
Where the kisses are hers and hers and his, three's company too!
They promote threesomes as well.
My, they have to be damned to hell.

There were times when I lost a dream or two.
Found the trail, and at the end was you. 

What? You want people to lose then go into the woods?
Some weird creature may pop out and steal your goods.

Whatever happened to predictability,
The milkman, the paperboy, the evening TV.
Oh no! Promoting boring things.
We can't have a song with no mention of flings.

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port, aboard this tiny ship.

What? taking ships for trips?
The airline industry would give all fat lips.

In west Philadelphia born and raised.
On the playground was where I spent most of my days.

What? Not at the office working?
What next? In the street twerking?

So that is why the theme song has died. It offends airlines, sends people in the woods, makes them not work and makes them avoid a hay ride. Oh the shame. What? No, commercials and cheapos are no to blame. Did you get all with this pass? They were engrained in the head of my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

With This Fit I Want It!

The cat watches as Pat searches around and he sees a few things that should surround. Pat needs to get on this stat. I want to be an even more spoiled cat.


 I want it!
I'll sputter and spit.
I want it now.
I'll give a nice meow.


Some food on the go.
Can go high or low.
It works for me.
A grass eating spree.


No more constipation for you,
When you step into this loo.
For it will scare the crap out of you.
What? Lame but true.


 Some fish to eat,
Oh what a treat.
It would be a hit.
I want it.



A musical house,
Beats a squeaky mouse.
 When it rains your house plays a tune.
Think it will make people swoon?


An indoor slide.
That would be a fun ride.
Eat your heart out Ghostbusters and your pole,
A slide is a better goal.


Fresh air!
 I want it at my lair.
Could go out and run around.
Could even pick on a hound.


A giant litterbox.
Wear shoes not socks,
And all will be fine.
If you step in whats left by the feline.


A slide on the stairs.
Now you can slide in pairs.
Yep, I want two.
Two for me, none for you.


 A pirate ship inside.
That will give me pride.
Although it might fall off the wall,
If two try and have a ball.

Now you know what I want. In your dreams I will haunt. Send the cat each one. Pat is no fun. Any you want at your sea that would give you glee? The first one I need to come to pass, then I'd be a wall climbing little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

The Speedy May Become Needy!

So the cat read something the other day that may be news to many a bay, or maybe not. The cat can be out of the loop on some such plot. Let's just say if you like to speed, you may be screwed indeed.

With each car,
They will raise the bar.
A tiny camera in place,
Nope, not on your face,

But to monitor what you do.
At first only 1% of cars will view.
It is to protect you each day.
So hit and runs don't happen, they say.

Plus no running lights.
No road rage fights.
No need for a cop.
The speeding will stop.

It is all so great.
Many will want it as their fate.
Plus it will lower your insurance rate,
So come now, take the bait.

The more fluoride heads that come in line,
The more your privacy will be mine.
We will get you every day,
Rolling more and more on display.

Until we have each car,
From here to the nearest bar,
All tagged and ready to go.
Now we can sit back and enjoy the show.

Yours stats will be ours each day.
We will know when you go away.
But what do you care,
You aren't a bad person at your lair?

So let us have it all.
We won't write things on the wall.
And when your car is rockin,
We won't come a knockin.

Unless the view is hacked,
Then that may be shacked.
On YouTube you may show.
Hey, your viewer count could grow.

So stay in the lane,
Board our monitoring train.
It will just become the norm,
No need for a shit storm.

Ready to be monitored all around, even when your horn makes a sound? Soon your car will just give you a ticket itself. Many may pile up on the shelf. Also may be stats that monitor closer the working class. Next they will just pick the fleas off of my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

You Can Learn At Every Turn!

So what happens if you do not have the dough to takes such college courses as life in the universe at your show? Why you can go to a seminar or three. They usually do not come with a hefty forty grand a year fee.

You need to learn,
Feel the brain burn,
But where to turn,
To make the wheels churn.

Go to Parenting 101.
It sounds like fun.
Learn to talk to a child.
What? You can't let them grow up in the wild?

Time for Food And You!
My, what you can do.
Watch the GMO nuts,
Talk out of their butts.

Weight Lose and You!
Once again it's so true.
Follow some magic diet.
Pop a pill too, try it!

You and Your Money.
It is rather funny.
Spend money to go to it,
And once there learn not to spend a bit.

Your Pet and Their Need!
No snip snip so I can't do the deed.
That is my only need.
Humans, just make your ears bleed.

Listen To Your Body Talking!
My, my feet are sure squawking.
I bet they want to go walking,
Or maybe my toes want to do some gawking.

Dating and You!
Rather have Mating come due.
Let's listen to the guru.
Their cereal box certification has to impress you.

Come Find God!
Says the guy in a hot rod.
Ummm no thank you.
Go bible thump at another zoo.

Decorating 101.
My, that sounds fun.
What? White walls aren't good?
Guess I'm out of touch at my hood.

Ever notice how many involve the word you? I guess they need to scrounge up a follow crew. So do you need any of these? If so, I may send fleas to your knees. A wake up call is what you may need. But I will not judge, much, at my feed. Maybe the cat will start a seminar rhyming class. That should bring some dough to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Hmmm I Say, Never Thought About It Until Today!

So the cat was hopping about and found an interesting shout. "Should there be a competitor to the Olympics every two years?" I guess the would please the Olympic watching dears. But what would it be called? Did you just go all fourth walled?

The Rally!
From hills to valley,
We give you the best.
Even a nude contest.

Love Yourself!
From human to elf.
All can win and gloat,
So other humans will take note.

Sports That Aren't Sports!
No, not basketball courts.
Stuff like the one legged race.
Not a sport, sorry for the sad face.

Tricky Balls!
Could get cat calls.
Could entice Anthony Weiner.
The playboy mansion now sounds cleaner.

Virtual Sport!
They build a snow forrt.
Then sit behind it and type.
You watch over Skype.

Advertiser Games!
They even have a cup of flames.
Budweiser is on the side.
Beer and fire, take pride.

Make Like An Animal Event!
That would sure pay their rent.
Jump around like a horse,
While hitting a little ball on a golf course.

Guess That Sport!
Something you may want to report.
Warning, not for young eyes.
What? It's not a sport when you unzip flies?

Nursing Home Runs!
Look at those wrinkly buns.
They run down the hall.
I hope they don't fall.

Olympics 2.0!
Lame, I know.
But then each can wage war.
Olympics vs. Olympics 2.0....still a bore.

Think there needs to be something new or some competition for their Olympic zoo? McDonalds would be glad as they could sell like mad. Sponsors everywhere would rejoice and look, a choice. Bah, just more crap in mass. Forget anything was ever said by my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

If You Want Bingo Forget The Text Lingo!

Ever get the feeling one is out to confuse you? Yeah, I know that is a daily thing at my zoo. But at least the cat uses words you can read at your feed. At least most of the time. Hell, let's just get to the rhyme.

How many PH is had?
Depends, is PH mad or sad?
Did you explain the thing?
The thing has a familiar ring.

TGD today all!
Did you miss last call?
Try the thingy in the thing.
That has a dirty ring.

RLO is coming near.
I will not shed a tear.
That thingy is great.
Such a thingy fate.

Try FVC today!
Do I have to pay?
LSW is your size.
You don't sound wise.

TRM has all the luck.
Must be a lucky duck.
RWY has your back.
I'm sure it doesn't lack.

Wise folks FGS a thing.
Is thing your only known ring?
Try biting OQD things.
Thing gets many dings.

DRB has it made.
Can we trade?
Tricky PRF stuff.
Did it huff and puff?

WFC has your number.
Stalking me while I slumber?
TWH is the very best.
Oh come now, you jest.

QGS is on top of it.
I hope not on top of umm spit.
GEW at you.
Screw you too.

AZU is your last chance.
No thanks on first glance.
EBC you are alright.
You are still a alphabet fright.

Did you know that people are dumb enough to say phone speak out loud at their show? Heard it the other day as letters is all they seemed to say. Oh they said thing and thingy too, quite a few times at their zoo. I bet they were taking a swearing pass and did not want to offend my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

No Need To Fetch, Just Prepare To Catch!

Did you know at your show that you can catch so much? All you have to do is reach out and touch. Or just keep in touch. Something like that and such. I guess the cat will have to show with today's flow.

Set up by the plate.
A game of catch is your fate.
Be sure and wear a glove,
As you spread the love.

Oh where that could go.
Just ignore and blow.
Instructions for life?
Moving on from such strife.

Catch is the theme of the day,
So catch we will do at my bay.
Except all the catching can be done by you.
I want none of it at my zoo.

Like you can catch germs,
Maybe even a case of worms.
Just touch a door knob,
Or shake hands with germy Bob.

Yawns can be catching.
That will make you look fetching.
With your big yap,
Open to all across the map.

Sayings you can catch.
Like telling one to go fetch.
Or sit on it in the bathroom stall.
I guess happy days are on the wall.

Things could catch your eye.
I bet you could really spy,
Something oh so bright.
That garbage is such a sight.

You could catch a chill.
That could make you go ill.
Those germs you already caught,
Like it when you're cold, not hot.

Go catch a flick.
Take your pick.
From American Pie to Zapped,
In a theater you could be trapped.

Now I will simply say,
Catch you later at my bay.
Even though I'll never catch you,
Considering you are at a whole other zoo.

Catch all of that today from the cat? Are you caught up on something? Need to play catch up at my wing? Come now, don't grieve. I am sure you can catch all before you leave. With that little bit of sass the cat will catch a nap with his little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, June 20, 2014

Only The Cat At Our Mat?

Is it only me that gets no glee from this crap at every sea? What crap is that? I guess you will just have to follow the cat. Don't worry though, no litterbox is going to show.

How are you?
Sometimes comes due.
What are you doing?
Like the damn thing is wooing.

That is good.
They say if understood.
Then what is up?
Like a repeat pup.

Give a dead end reply,
The crap still flies on by.
The thing never stops.
Out another message drops.

Half an hour later,
It's see you later gator.
If you are lucky that is,
With this crap biz.

When it could be said and done,
In a two minute phone call run.
But oh friggin no.
A texting they will go.

Good for a quick note.
That has my vote.
But sitting there typing away.
Pffft to that crap I say.

Pick up the phone.
Hear the funky tone.
Use your yap,
Forget the texting lap.

I know you have to speak.
Oh no! Your brains may leak.
You can't use idk and the like.
My, that is a rough hike.

Then your voice may go,
You'll lose your flow.
Talking makes you sad.
That is just so bad.

So is it just the cat,
Here at his non texting mat?
Do you love texting too?
I won't, just a little, judge you.

There was my crap texting rant for the day. Hate that crap at my bay. If you have something long to say don't make me sit until May. If you do I may get kind of crass with my texting hating little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

An Update You Say At My Bay?

Aren't updates just the best? They sure pass every test. They are ever so grand. The cat doesn't know why you humans do not do it more across the land. I will update you on the update to keep you up to date at my gate.

Updates are fun,
Updates are done.
There are a ton,
Needed to run.

Run the money,
Out like honey,
Right from your hand.
Isn't that grand?

Facebook update today,
More you can display.
Plus more ads for you.
One turns to two.

Blogger updates galore.
Come here to explore.
Damn, nothing works right.
That update had some bite.

Iphone 7.4.6.5.5.5.5.5 is out.
Time to twist and shout.
The screen is 1mm smaller.
Easier to call her.

Updates in food.
GMO isn't crude.
It is oh so grand.
Take a modified stand.

Updates in everything but,
The dentist hut.
Still need the drill.
I guess it gives a thrill?

Updates in politics.
Yet same old tricks.
Same update since the dino age.
All reading from the same page.

Update in your TV.
It looks so much more pretty.
If you sit right next to the screen.
Look at that nice spleen.

Updates to this and that.
Updates from a dingbat.
I'm just going to call it.
Updates = fill my wallet.

There we are at my bar now all are updated near and far. What? You thought it was an update of my hut? Pfft the cat changed sleeping spots today. Did you really want to hear about that at my bay? More fun going after the update in mass with my oh so up to date little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Round Twenty Three Is Coming To Thee!

Here we are for the best this month that come to my sea, or the worst, however you want to look at the nuts who swing from the creepy tree. Let's see what they have to say as they, hopefully, accidentally find my bay.

"fart books"

They found A Fart Apart. Maybe they take the fart to heart?

"gripeas themes"

Hmmm what the heck is that? Searched it, and yep, up comes the cat.

"Strangers have my back on a bus"

That is good to know. I hope they don't be strange and reach low.

"Numb Betsy Tongue"

Wow, Betsy were you searching yourself and found my shelf?

"Stripes on my socks"

Your point is? I don't work in the stripped sock biz.

"My me mine meow"

Hmmmm want to hazard a guess? Are they trying to confess?

"Lippy mimes are no good"

That wouldn't make them a mime if they give a lippy chime.

"Balls make me feel good"

Ummm okay! Watch the snip snip at your bay.

"Pat Hatt awesoe books"

Thanks for the look even if you can't spell at your nook.

"Pitchers say 1000 words"

And they can throw a ball too. A knuckle ball to a knuckle head, meaning you.

"Sign says death by animal feces"

Damn, someone stole my idea at their bay. They are using pringle cans full of cat crap to keep people away.

"Brain how does your garden rise?"

Brian, are you a brain in disguise? Don't answer that question, you might draw flies.

"Honey brings flies to my face."

See! Told you so. You never listen at my show.

"suckle tips are at the end"

Hmmm, yep at the end and you're around the bend.

And the winner here today at my bay is one that really wanted to have their say. I guess they had to type it to make sure somewhere they were a hit.

Simple things in my life are simply found in excrement of a mule.

That is a mouthful to type, I guess with a mule they have a gripe. But at least they did not swear which is rather rare for my lair. I guess they were just of a higher search engine nut class that came to visit my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

So Stalkers Are Shy Under The Blog Sky?

The cat heard something fun the other day as he hopped about each blog bay, that some commenters are shy. That is why they stalk read and then away they fly. Hmmm let's explore that as it intrigues the cat.

Read your post,
So good at your coast.
Wait! That's in my head,
It just can't be said.

I can't type those words.
I have to go watch the birds.
They tweet all day long.
I like how they sing their song.

Sidetracked a bit,
Publish I cannot hit.
I just can't do it.
My finger is having a fit.

What if they don't like it?
What if they send me a pet rock kit?
What if I lose an ear?
Wait! That's another fear.

They may see me.
I can't go on a comment spree.
I am just so shy.
They may poke me in the eye.

That pokey rock commenter just might.
She looks like she can bite.
Oh I have to get away,
This is ruining my day.

I can't handle a retort.
They may hold court.
May decide to send me packing,
I think my heart is attacking.

This just cannot be.
I need to jump in the sea.
I am just so shy.
Oh look at that cloudy sky.

Hail may fall on my head.
I may die in bed.
It could come right through the roof,
Then me, I go poof.

Don't make fun of my scoff?
I can't just turn the computer off.
The gremlins may get me.
Sorry, now I have to flee.

Well the good thing about this post is if I offend shy people at my coast, they will be too shy to say a thing at my bay. Win, win I say. So think people are too shy to say something? Or just don't know what to say when they give a ring? Could be both, could be one. That is what makes it fun. Now I will go pass some gas as I am not a shy little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Cassie And Me And Some Of Thee!

Cassie and The Wild Cat you say? I guess I am wild at my bay. Or at least I pretend to be until something scary comes in front of me. Then I go for a stroll and find the nearest hole. Much like I did this time. Cassie and the Wild Cat 4 is now on tour.


 Here you learn Cassie can read.
Psssst, she fakes it at our feed.
But don't tell anyone.
It may ruin her fun


And I can dance on two feet.
Isn't that neat?
Actually on one foot too.
Oh what I can do.


And I can jump into the air.
I can do it with flair.
Butt up or down,
I take the crown.


 It beats rolling in the grass.
Dogs can do that in mass.
Get themselves some fleas,
Oh Please!


Yeah they can wag a tail,
That is just a fail.
Whoopdi friggin doo.
They also eat poo.


Cats can wear a crown.
Spitty doesn't frown.
They can even wear a hat,
Just look at Brian the cat.


They can play in a box,
And Oui Oui would never eat socks.
Then some tabbies from trout towne,
Run around like a clown


All can fit on a windowsill too.
Beat that those who eat poo.
They would just break it.
Then they would be in deep umm spit.

 So have no fear,
Even if a mutt is near.
For another me cheer.

Did you know that cats have a secret meeting place? I think it is between time and space. But who am I to know? I just found the hole and in I was able to go. So now another children's book has come to pass, starring a few of you along with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

It Does Not Like The Amount In Your Account!

The cat has figured out why no one can get money in their bank account that could pile to the sky in a high amount. At least not many people around. So why is it never found?

Your bank account is there,
That you are aware.
A little bit remains in it.
But more would be a hit.

Yet it never seems to fill,
As you pay another bill.
The money just goes scat.
Why is that?

Because money has OCD.
It does not play well with others at its sea.
It kicks the other bills out,
Doing a little twist and shout.

It does not like to share.
Not enough space in its lair.
It likes to live and be free,
No clones allowed hanging from the tree.

Would you want 50,000 clones of you,
Hanging about at your zoo?
Nope, not at all.
Unless you live at the ninja wannabe's hall.

So the original makes them take a hike.
Clones they just do not like.
So you get hit with bills,
Or the need to fix windowsills.

Or maybe in need of gas,
Or to take out a lass.
Maybe just get drunk,
Then it's a slamdunk.

Your money is playing against you.
It is worse than Vegas at your zoo.
It has you spending it here and there,
It has you spending it everywhere.

I mean who really needs bills?
Ship them off to the hills.
Who needs to pay rent?
Could go live in a tent.

See, your money is at fault.
It does not like a full vault.
It wants to be a hermit and all alone.
So it makes you spend at the tone.

Aren't you glad the cat solved that? What? Don't believe me on why your wallet is not fat? I guess your money has you blind. Yep, it made you spend it for your new behind. See! One big conspiracy. You need to have a talk with your money at your sea. Then you can become the 1% class, just remember to tip my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Around They Turn For A Return!

So it seems that now a days along with crummy remakes of this and that there seems to be a growing trend at the TV show mat. Nope, not crummy reality TV. Forget that crap at my sea. Shows that are long gone seem to be finding a new dawn. 24, Heroes, Veronica Mars to name a few that hummed a few bars. Now let's see, what will come next to your TV.

Lost, will get umm lost again.
I bet you anything at my den.
It will come back at some point,
Getting rid of the crappy ending ghost joint.

Bet Firefly will come back too,
Far far down the road to view.
At least something from it,
And it will be a hit.

Stargate and Star Trek,
Will hit the deck.
Either or,
Will get an encore.

Moonlighting will rise,
It will be an actor in disguise.
Or just some bald guy, no lie,
Pretending to be that Willis guy.

Monk will go all germ a phobe,
Once more across the globe.
A Burn Notice may join him,
Geez, this is getting grim.

The X-Files will be back,
Ready to go on the alien attack.
But more like 24,
With only a 12 episode season tour.

Full House will still have a full house.
They may even add a mouse.
Jessie and the Rippers?
Hmmm quite gas chippers?

Adventures of Brisco County Jr. with it's long name,
May up and make a claim.
Or just pretend to,
And have repeats in view.

Quantum Leap will once again leap,
But in the remake crap will creep.
So it will be trash,
Leaving you with a bad rash.

And Dexter will be back in spin off land.
Although spin off is out of hand.
Same character, new place?
A new season they embrace.

Bet you 10 of the above will show again. And when they do you will think of my den. Curse the cat for being right. Any that you believe will come back in sight? I bet they will be more crass, just seems the way things go to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Oh So Scary, You May Turn Hairy!

The cat was going to ignore this day as it is like any other at my bay. But then some nut said she was going to lock herself inside and not leave her place, so I'll bite with Friday the 13th's oh so scary embrace.

Oh no!
Run to a bunker below.
It's another Friday,
With a 13 at play.

Oh so scary.
Might bring out a bad fairy.
She could zap you.
Yeah, and the cat will go moo.

A whole bunch of bunk.
Yet some still get in a funk.
Like it will magically kill.
Guess their real brain cells went to the land fill.

Just as much bad crap,
Happens all across the map,
On Friday 1-31,
Or any other day under the sun.

On the 11th Japan went boom,
Brought forth nuke doom.
The twin towers went down,
Egypt went to uprising town.

But 11 is just fine.
As it should be to those with a spine.
Yesterday someone died.
Two days ago cars did collide.

Wasn't the 13th then.
But they had bad luck at their den.
Or stupidity came due,
But still doesn't touch this day at any zoo.

Look and it will be found.
No matter the day something bad will abound.
You can blame luck, which is all in your head,
Or the day but there will always be dread.

13 is soooo bad.
Locked doors must be had.
Pffffft right!
And the cat will take flight.

Oh no, a full moon too!
The tide is going to eat you.
Pffffft once more.
No matter the day, the moon, the whatever, good or bad will always be in store.

And there is the cat's rant for the day. Did I offend the superstitious nuts at my bay? Good! Now go blow some saw dust off your brain full of wood. Now I am through with my sass, from my very non superstitious little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Would You Rather This Or That At Your Mat?

So the cat will have a little fun as we go on a this or that run. What does this or that entail? I guess you will just have to read and not wail. Or you can do both I suppose, just stay away from me if you blow your germy nose.

Would you rather eat an ass as a treat,
Or something that came out an ass so sweet?
Confused at my sea?
Damn, that gutter and thee.

The cat means fried animal butt,
Or eggs at your hut.
Which one would you eat?
Now eggs don't sound so sweet.

Would you rather be broke,
Or be rich massaging every bloke?
You have to touch them up and down.
Geez, stay out of gutter town.

Would you rather work from home,
Or fly in the air from here to Rome?
See, no gutter relations just for you,
Unless from home you get a daily guest or two.

Would you rather fly or drive,
When going far away from your hive?
Gas bills or a passenger with bad gas,
Could leave you at a gassy impasse.

Would you rather ride a bus,
And listen to people fuss,
Or would you rather ride a horse,
Going round and round the course?

Would you rather have zombies try to eat you,
Or aliens come and probe but not chew?
Hmmm tough one there.
Screwed either way at your lair.

Would you rather be in an earthquake,
As the ground does the hippy hippy shake,
Or a tornado whirl,
Where you can fly and twirl?

Would you rather be told off,
As the offending nut starts to scoff,
Or get a wave and a smile,
That may be more vile?

Would you rather sit and rhyme,
Or do math with a mime?
An easy one there,
At least for many with hair.

Did you answer each one as you went for a this or that run? Or were you confused and felt abused? See, a this or that ending pass. I am such a helpful little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Two Light Hearted Fools And A Rosey Giveaway Nut In A Rut!

The two nuts are back as they sail looking for that Bora Bora shack. I don't think they want to find it or they missed it by more than a bit. Maybe they are in the Bermuda Triangle or something of the like. Either way, on with another hike.

They pose a question to each other,
Making you say, "oh brother."
As who really gives a crap,
About mail at sea on the map?

Nope, not me.
Maybe they've been too long at sea?
Then that spirit guide gets in the way,
And a Rosey giveaway nut is on display.

She seems to like to dance,
Quite the country prance.
Who knows where that came from.
Maybe it happened when she was shot in the bum?

I guess we will never know.
But she has a Rosey glow.
The two light hearted fools,
Stand and listen as she unspools.

I guess she may even win.
Until she is done in.
Who really knows with this.
Another you can't miss.



Okay, maybe you can miss that. I mean it doesn't even star the real cat. That is just rude. But then again I would give too much attitude. So hopefully Rosey didn't end up too well done. She just wants to have giveaway fun. Maybe it was just a load of gas? That sure likes to come out my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

A Giant Curse That Is Rather dVerse!

Have you ever noticed how words are thrown around with ease and humans use them however they please? Even when they make no sense and just prove they are kind of dense. Giant is the word of today and we will use Giant for some dVerse play.


Yep, oh so giant a store.
Takes 10 minutes to explore.
Giant in every single way.
As giant as the bill you have to pay.


Giants in the field.
They will never yield.
Those 6ft giants are scary.
Must be because they are hairy.


A giant book.
It is double the size at their nook.
It is so so giant indeed.
It will be too heavy to lift at your feed.


A giant rock.
My, that is a shock.
Stare at the one giant rock.
Like there are no others at which to gawk.


But if you really want giant,
Take on this client.
It'll eat you whole.
Giant as a flag pole.


And giant in every way.
It takes up the whole beach on display.
Could eat you too,
Turning you into giant umm ewww.


The rest are tiny,
Bet they are whiny.
So giant indeed.
Could rhyme too at his feed.


It a dog, its a donkey, its a horse!
 Definitely a giant without remorse.
Watch as the drool does fly.
One of these the cat would never want to spy.


A jolly green giant.
I bet he is defiant.
He is green after all.
So obviously likes green paint at his hall.


That is one giant ass.
On that thing I'd take a pass.
Many humans could walk under it.
Giant is sure the word to hit.

So well giant is thrown around a ton, things are not always giant under ones sun. A bit of an over exaggeration by you humans I would say. But then some are giant on display. I guess you just get mixed up with the giant class. A giant mistake rectified by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, June 9, 2014

Parents Can Be Screwy, Maybe Even Chewy?

Did you ever hear yourselves when you speak? You humans really have a brain leak. But that we already know. I guess these things just fester and grow. Allow the cat to help you out with this little shout.

Humans create,
That is their trait.
From bombs to a bus,
They make a fuss.

Some go boom,
And bring doom.
Some spur a dumb song,
That goes on too long.

But the creator has a moniker bestowed,
Which seems to be quite a load.
Or maybe the other hides in the wings,
Who really knows with these things?

Father of creating a bus.
Did the mother cuss?
That had to be hard to push out.
Would not want to hear that shout.

Father of the toilet creation,
Must have brought much elation.
The mother was a what?
Toilet drinking mutt?

Ed Lowe was just bitter,
He had no running umm shitter.
So he was the father of kitty litter.
The mother was the baby sitter?

A lass named Mary created the brassiere,
People still gawked and gave them a peer.
Was the father an ice cream cone?
Oh don't sit there and moan.

Unless you like that sort of thing.
It is spring, so have a fling.
Creators of a superhero must sting,
Popping out one with powers would make any sing.

Creator of a reality show.
Pffft father or mother they gotta go.
Probably created it at the dump,
And found some washed up chump.

The father of rhyme,
Met the mother over a dime.
There they made noise,
Sounded like rhyme umm joys.

There you are, now you know who created kitty litter at your sand bar. Don't say the cat never taught you anything at your wing. How can a father or mother be such a thing to an inanimate thing? Even such things as bling? Maybe the creators of things just had a bad case of gas? I can father such a thing out my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Stuck Or Stick? Take Your Pick!

The cat has said rules are for fools and he likes to ignore rules creating duels. But what of those the exact opposite at their sea? They need rules or they go completely crazy.

No no no no!
They go in a row.
One out of line,
Is not divine.

Keep your pickle,
I am so fickle.
Follow the rules,
We aren't mules.

One word is wrong,
You are a ding dong.
It can't be that way.
Go drown in the bay.

Sweep up not over.
Are you rover?
Do it this way,
No time for play.

Create a plan.
Stick to it, man.
Don't go astray,
Or all won't be okay.

Follow the declared.
Socks are paired.
No different ones.
I'll get the runs.

Walk a straight line.
Adhere to the sign.
Don't feed the ducks.
Save a few bucks.

You're over by a cent.
Sit there and repent.
Confess all your sins.
No gold star pins.

You missed a link.
You're such a fink.
For that the clink,
I disavow your rink.

Dig down deep.
And go sweep.
Do it right this time.
What are you a mime?

If that came to be anywhere near me, I'd kick them in the knee and in their shoe I'd have a pee. That cat would not miss. That would ruin their rule bliss. Oh how some are so far gone falling for every rule con. The cat ignores them with every pass and just rhymes off his little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

A Mix And Match With This Batch!

Ever had a little mix up take place when around your mind does race? Nope, the cat has not had a one either under our sun. But let's give it a run anyway today at my bay.

It is a rhyming post,
Need it done at my coast.
First have to type up a resume.
Oops, filled it with rhyme play.

The blog has accounting stuff.
It will bore you with its fluff.
Debit and credit this.
Isn't that post bliss?

No? I guess away we will go.
Don't want you to be bored, you know.
A kiddie book or three,
All done at my sea.

Damn, they don't rhyme.
That is such a crime.
Time for a redo,
At my zoo.

Wait! Their in draft.
Not out on a raft.
Ring goes the phone,
Wants me to throw them a bone.

So just rhyme away.
They don't join the fray.
They hang up.
Maybe they like the pup?

A video is done,
It was so much fun.
Damn, no sound.
On another video it is found.

A mix and a match,
Screwed the whole batch.
But with a little tweak,
Can get out of the creek.

Switch the blog with the book,
Give all a second look.
One, two, three,
All is as it should be.

The mix and the match,
Just need a patch.
Even bringing something new.
With more to ensue.

Things could turn out topsy turvy indeed if the cat did not have ocd at his feed. Thankfully everything stays as it should. No accounting here to be dull as wood. That would drive all to eat grass which is just meant for my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Friday, June 6, 2014

A Flag Or A Bag!

The cat was thinking the other day that he needs a flag for his bay. All kinds of countries have one. It could be fun. So I went to work on this little Rhyme Time perk


I got some toilet paper,
Ready for my caper.
But it just spun around,
Then something better was found.

I ate some more paper,
But this thing didn't taper.
It was still there.
I gave it another glare.

It was time to get to work.
I ignored the jerk.
Then I spun some more,
 This would be a flag of lore.


 But I kept getting stuck.
Just my luck.
The flag was tough.
Time to get rough.

I bit it good.
Tastes better than wood.
I'd eat it every day,
If Pat left it on display.

I stole this one,
For my flag fun.
Don't tell.
I might get hell.

So back to a flag.
This thing was a drag.
Then I saw it again.
I finally gave in at my den.


Screw the flag.
I'll take the bag.
Much better any way.
Although not very roomy I must say.

Pat just said I had a big ass.
I do look kinda crass.
Maybe I'll go back to the tp,
Then one day a flag will show at my sea.

There was the story of the flag. I know, no flag, such a drag. Maybe one day there will be one. I'll have to have another toilet paper run. Until then I'll bag such a thing at my grass and rest my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Grab The Raid It's Time To Trade!

The cat was at the other sea where that mutt runs around with glee. It is as bad as a kid I'd say, as it always tries to get its own way. Geez, such a small brain. Cats are already on that train. But then comes the trade for whatever it has got. Oh what an annoying mutt. Although it brought on today's trade parade.

What a nice toy.
I bet it brings you joy.
Want to trade for my rock?
It would be done by Spock.

What a nice car.
I bet that can go far.
Want to trade for my wagon?
It could hold a big dragon.

What a nice bed.
I bet it is comfy for your head.
Want to trade for my rock?
This deal is such a lock.

What a nice lunch.
That must have such a crunch.
Want to trade for my squirrel?
It tastes like chicken so give it a whirl.

What a nice house.
I bet it doesn't have a mouse.
Want to trade for my rock?
It doesn't even need a lock.

What a nice cat.
I bet it can really scat.
Want to trade for my dog?
It cleans up every brown log.

What a nice bank account.
That is such a nice amount.
Want to trade for my rock?
With it people will gawk.

What a nice suit.
I bet it even blocks a toot.
Want to trade for my underwear?
They make it so you aren't bare.

What a nice wife.
Bet she causes no strife.
Want to trade for my rock?
Could break that wedlock.

What a nice lawn.
Bet it sparkles at dawn.
Want to trade for my sand?
Burying stuff can be grand.

Surprising the things people will trade. I guess some deals just have to be made. Or a sucker is born every minute too. That could explain it at ones zoo. That rock could be traded for some grass. That would be fine by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Drazin Comes To Play! Go The Other Way!

The cat could not be bothered to stop the godly mook. He is quite the third person talking kook. Yeah, he's a as dumb as a cucumber. See, the cat has his number. Run away! You do not want to hear what he has to say.



Drazin does not want to talk.
Drazin says take a walk.
If Drazin has to read your drivel,
Drazin's brains will surely shrivel.

Drazin does not care,
That you are seen everywhere.
Drazin still has such hate.
Drazin feels it is your fate.

Drazin says screw you.
That is Drazin's review.
The great god Drazin has more to do,
Then read such fluff from you.

Drazin read better on a cereal box.
Drazin says stuff your writing in socks.
Quit and save Drazin the trouble,
Of digging through your rubble.

What? Don't like Drazin?
Is Drazin too brazin?
Drazin does not care.
A fact you should be well aware.

Drazin does what Drazin wants to do.
Drazin hates rhyming at this zoo.
So Drazin is going to stop.
Drazin finds that is a flop.

Damn fleabags,
On your hair Drazin gags.
Drazin will get those sleepers made,
That idea has yet to fade.

Where was Drazin anyway?
Drazin was having Drazin's say.
Drazin says simply you suck.
Drazin says you have no luck.

Drazin says throw in the towel.
Dogs are better with their howl.
Drazin is rather rude.
But Drazin won't take your attitude.

Question Drazin and you are toast.
Drazin will give you quite the roast.
Drazin wants to stop your plight.
Drazin says disappear into the night. 

See, the cat let Drazin come to play because even if he is full of hot air at his bay, now you all can have thick skin. I consider that a win. No matter who you are or what you write, haters will always try and take a bite. So just go with the flow and let them crow. That is it for today class from the third person loon and my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

A dVerse Celebration Of Constipation!

Oh what must run through your head when the above dVerse title you read. Gas would be too easy for me. So we will instead go into brain fart territory at my sea. You know, when you instantly forget something at your show, but you know what it is. It can be worse than a pop quiz.

You feel a vibration.
You get an elation.
But forget the narration.
Over your vibration sensation.

The answer is on an aviation,
Which can be a complication.
Leading to a one way conversation,
To one nutty destination.

Seeking that information,
You try a little mediation.
Off in soothing isolation,
You still find no motivation.

So you turn to recreation.
Playing with the vegetation. 
Which gives you a nomination,
To have a little visitation.

After such investigation,
You make a proclamation.
You suffered from assassination,
Or some mind neutralization.

It was a secret organization,
So you seek rectification.
Before you get full brain sterilization,
Muttering about your victimization.

You go for electrification,
For some stabilization,
To your disorganization,
Hoping for detoxification. 

You sense a little triangulation,
And a little less obliteration.
Hoping for a manifestation,
To your little illumination.

After more deliberation,
You find more restoration,
To your new renovation,
From the power station.

Wallah! Instant education!
From your constipation,
Requiring celebration.
This may have been an exaggeration.

Was this your expectation at my rhyming station? Maybe you expected an assimilation or some sort of fragmentation about constipation? Sorry, it was not in today's constellation. Now I will let you settle your dehydration from my brain fart dissertation and hope any desperation will pass from my aggravation of a little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Some Summer Events That May Or May Not Include Tents!

Summer will soon be here and it is time you planned what to do far and near. So the cat figured he would help you out with events that hold clout.

The baby jumping festival is near.
Don't land on them and cause fear.
Don an Elvis like costume and jump,
Hopefully the jumpers aren't plump.

The amazing ufo festival in Roswell.
That has to be so swell.
Can go and get a probe up your rear.
Cheaper than a doctor's visit I hear.

The state chip throw,
In Wisconsin is where you can go.
There people hurl dry cow poop.
Throw you for a loop?

The shopping cart race.
There is one you can embrace.
Hop in the cart,
And let your engines start.

The Wane Chicken Show.
Care for some chicken high and low?
Everything there is about chicken.
At least no cow turds you'll be pickin.

The Humongous Fungus Fest.
That will have you at your best.
Jump around and cheer a huge mushroom.
Eat it and you may bring doom.

Tarantula Awareness Festival is up.
May need something strong in your cup.
For one contest you show some fur,
The hairy leg contest can surely blur.

Can go and get ready for a thrill,
As at the festival of erotic arts you get your fill.
No need for a little blue pill,
As long as you have some umm will.

The cheese rolling festival is great.
Rolling cheese is such a fun fate.
Roll and roll some more.
Could get quite cheesy at your shore.

The wife carrying championship of the world.
That has to leave your toes curled.
Are you ready to up your life,
Be being the world champion at carrying your wife?

So there you go. Now you have things to do high and low. No need to thank the cat. Have fun throwing dry cow scat. Just wear gloves with such a pass and never touch my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Come Tell The Cat If You Are This Or That!

So what do you do when this or that happens at your zoo? Be interesting to see and so away we go with my this or that spree. Or maybe that or this or that or this. Confusing you? Sorry, miss.

You make a mistake typing,
Whether blogging, novel or Skyping.
Do you backspace the whole line,
Or go back and change things to the right sign?

You cook all day,
Oops forget a tray.
Do you have a little burnt snack,
Or order out at your shack?

You get a nasty taste,
Worse than paste.
Do you swallow with haste,
Or run and spit in the waste?

You make a mess,
All over your dress.
Do you go with the flow,
Or change on the go?

You are so clever,
And to something you say never.
It happens and you stick to your way,
Or change things up at your bay?

You really have to go,
But are away from your show.
Do you hold it and drive home,
Or go where public restrooms roam?

You walk each sunny day,
There at your bay.
When it rains do you go,
Or call it a day at your show?

You find crap you never use,
Crap you would not care if you lose.
Do you chuck it in the trash can,
Or remain a crap hoarding fan?

You catch some germs,
Around your body a germ squirms.
Do you go to work and spread the love,
Or stay home and curse all above?

You come here and have no clue,
What they hell I am saying at my zoo.
Do you raise an eyebrow and run,
Or join in on the fun?

Did you answer yes or no to each one? Or pick one or the other under your sun? Each has their own way whether right or wrong or whatever at their bay. Did you say something crass? That is so enjoyed by my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.