Monday, January 5, 2015

Graph It And It's A Hit!


Is it a wonder why you humans believe all you see? It is always so pretty. Who cares if stats are pulled from an ass. They still go over so well with your mankind mass.


 Balls can bounce,
Cats can pounce.
Dogs can chew.
Look at the pretty view.

Did you know that 95% of you eat flies?
Yeah, they are in chocolate bars to pies.
It has to be oh so true.
Just look at the pretty picture that came due.


Toes have hair.
Cats run around bare.
Cats have hairballs.
Toes walk through halls.

Did you know 88% more deaths occur by toe stubbing,
As humans go out each night clubbing,
Than those who trip over cats?
It is true, the graph says so, dingbats.


Mountains are big.
Bald people wear a wig.
Mountains are large.
Why shout charge?

Did you know that mountains eat people?
Don't ask under a church steeple.
Just trust in the pretty graph,
While the cat gets a good laugh.


Pac-man is yellow.
Those ghosts are mellow.
He eats a lot,
Even a pot.

Did you know that upside down,
Pac-man turns green with a frown?
You can see it in the stats above.
Show green Pac-man some love.


Scissors are sharp.
They can cut a tarp.
I ran with them before.
Still alive at my shore.

Did you know pointy things are pointy?
They can stab a jointy.
They can even make you rhyme crappy.
Aren't the pointy things oh so snappy?

Now you have been given true stats. See, you just have to ask cats. We will tell you how it is with your pretty picture biz. No need even for a quiz. Soon you'll be a whiz. Now I am done with my graphing sass. Have fun staring at the pretty graphs from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

91 comments:

  1. "Did you know that mountains eat people?"
    They did that? Never knew, it just baffled
    Where were the figures
    It made one wonder
    Tall tales nose-dived those who were muddled

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe the Yeti was the cause
      I hear he has big claws

      Delete
  2. When arguing with Carlos about smoking, I google random statistics, read it out loud, and then say "statistics do not lie!!!" Maybe I should show him your graphs of pointy and pointier. Hahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol pointy may get through to him
      Pointier may show him things are grim

      Delete
  3. Mountains eat people? I'll never go in a cave again...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well they collapse the cave
      So sure are only for the brave

      Delete
  4. Statistics don't lie
    People do!
    And graphs are just pretty
    And today witty! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People fudge them around
      To make them have their wanted sound

      Delete
  5. If pac man is yellow why is he green?
    Is this what happens when he is upside down
    I guess all these stats cause quite the scene
    make them up to cause a smile or frown..

    it's winter..and it's make me shiver

    heigh ho, heigh ho, it's off to work I go
    It ain't no trick to get rich quick
    If you dig dig dig with a shovel or a pick
    In a mine! In a mine! In a mine! In a mine!
    Where a million diamonds shine!
    heigh ho, heigh ho...lol..just for you !

    (heigh ho lyrics from Snow White)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Upside down and all turned around
      Many shades can be found
      Be he still eats
      Those dots for treats
      The cold does suck
      But going all dwarf could leave one in luck
      Gold and treasure
      Enough no graph can measure

      Delete
  6. If it's on a graph or internet, it always is the truth
    Saying either isn't gospel is really most uncouth
    The facts come from the highest learning
    No need now to seek with yearning

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah just believe what you see
      It is 100% correct says we
      Or maybe they
      Who are they anyway?

      Delete
  7. Love that Pac Man! Gobbling colorful pie!
    All these graphs make me wonder why!
    Such a clever post, Cat, you do not lie.
    Your graphs labels really caught my eye!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat likes to be clever
      And if left wondering he succeeded in his endeavor

      Delete
  8. I read that five secrets thing. Why did it have to be a secret?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. By it you mean #5?
      I have very little secrets at my hive
      Hard to find one
      So gave that a run lol

      Delete
  9. I love the idea of different colored pac mans! Maybe purple??? Happy New Year to you Pat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Each pac man could have a power
      As the dot thingys shower

      Delete
  10. I'd rather just have pie than a pie chart. Ha. Hold the flies, please!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well if you bake a pie
      And put it out under the sky
      You may get a fly
      Or have it stolen by that neighbor guy

      Delete
  11. Lol I will admit when I see a graph I am more apt to believe it is true...so silly because anyone can make a graph!
    Cestlavie22

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That they can indeed
      So most of it could be nonsense at ones feed

      Delete
  12. Time does fly when we eat flies!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I know that there is a use for Statistics. I always just wonder how a sampling can be considered an accurate representation of an entire population. Of course, I had a hard time acing my Stats classes, so that could be part of my disdain for such numbers. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol yeah that could do it
      I got an A when I did the stat bit
      And I barely went to class
      Cursing my rhyming ass? lol
      A lot of it is nonsense anyway
      But has to be used for their oh so accurate display

      Delete
    2. I've always really liked you until just this moment. ;)

      Kidding...but phft to you anyway. My husband had a bit of a challenge w/his first one, but he breezed through the second one. And he taunted me too. Eggheads (you and him, hahaha). That's a compliment. ;)

      Delete
    3. haha I've been called worse at my sea
      I'll take the egghead compliment with glee
      But just so you know
      I don't even remember much of it anymore at my show
      So you got that one me
      Here at my sea

      Delete
    4. Prolly like riding a bike, it'd come right back w/little effort, if the need arose.

      Delete
    5. Hopefully the need doesn't arise
      As school is not a prize

      Delete
  14. Graphs do make people believe more. I guess it has t do with sight

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If the eyes can see
      They are more likely to believe thee

      Delete
  15. As someone who lives near the Rocky Mountains I can confirm that mountains eat people. Sure, Pac-man eats people, too, but fear the REAL threat to human life: carnivorous mountains.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn, those mountains are mean
      No wonder they aren't very lean

      Delete
  16. A graph and some numbers = belief in many people

    ReplyDelete
  17. Go ahead. Snort and laugh.
    But I don't think scientists are lying
    when you look at a graph
    that says 100% of death is caused by dying.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What about Walt Disney not being dead
      They just freezed his head

      Delete
  18. Graphs are always good I guess. But cats are the smartest ones for sure. You have a great day Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cats have the brains
      All humans just board trains

      Delete
  19. Never took much stock in graphs
    Seemed like they could be made askew
    But some of these listed here
    Were certainly to me new.

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they are fluff
      Easy to distort the stuff

      Delete
  20. A picture speaks
    a thousand words
    and lies as well
    as golden lips.

    But truth is relative
    when seen
    with biased eyes
    and data cleaned.

    People say numbers don't lie. Pfft, we can manipulate numbers to make them lie. Best way I know to get government funding for research.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lie and lie some more
      Then lie for an encore
      Lie to line a pocket
      And your grant will be next on the docket

      Delete
  21. If you gotta die, and you do (not now), then why not stub a toe. Way to go!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A much easier way
      Then a long drawn out process at ones bay

      Delete
  22. Guess I'll have to give up clubbing and get a cat!
    Have a good one, Pat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That you might
      To save you in the night

      Delete
    2. All caught up at your zoo!
      You've been on a good run,
      Pat, as usual too!
      Lots of different advice and fun;
      Pet Patters Boo,
      and I'll follow the sun
      but I'll pass on King Abubu.

      A tetris party and cheering clothes ~
      fact, truth or fiction, anything goes!
      Is, was, and time, take care ~
      Imagination is loose at your lair!

      Delete
    3. Let it fly
      Oh me oh my
      Caught up you are
      As a mix and batch came to my sand bar

      Delete
  23. It's a really good laugh
    with all your graphs

    rhymes can be pointy biz
    try couple words to squeeze
    to become a whiz

    pac-man brings you joy
    green or yellow - boy!
    biting all what comes
    out of mountain spam.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Spam like king abubu
      Would be great to eat too
      Much comes with a bit here and there
      Some may pull out their hair

      Delete
  24. I feel like I really know some things now, true facts. Graphs make it all so clear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah they make it all nice and neat
      At least the paper is a tasty treat

      Delete
  25. 'Twas a day on which I fell apart:
    I learned I can't eat a pie chart.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well you could
      Just may taste like processed wood

      Delete
  26. Oh, no! Not flies in chocolate or in pies.

    ReplyDelete
  27. How artistic you were with those graphs. ;) Can someone really die by stubbing their toe?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well if it causes a blood clot
      Then they may not do so hot

      Delete
  28. Good thing I don't go clubbing. I am such a klutz, I'd stub my toe my first time out and would go "kaput!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha toast near drunks and the type
      Better off using skype

      Delete
  29. All those charts and graphs are great
    If a believing fool is your fate
    You can manipulate any old data
    To those who only want to repeat the same old capatata
    (OK, it does make you and ME rhyme bad)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It does indeed
      haha as the rhyme takes seed
      But can make it fit
      As the fools believe the graphs are a hit

      Delete
  30. Pacman loves pie charts, Mario just likes cake

    at least the princess knows how to bake

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And knows how to get grabbed
      As by DK and Bowser she always got grabbed

      Delete
  31. orlin N cassie....ever wunder how manee flies we catz HAZ consoomed...speekin of...we wanna take a wild guess N say sinz de start oh de werld, catz haz eated 981,258,364,788,512,657,459,355 bazillion fliez !!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that would be about right
      Maybe off by a few million though at my site

      Delete
  32. Ha, I haven't thought about Pac Man in a while. It was my favorite game for a while....now I can't believe that it really amused me!! Smiles.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it could amuse for a while
      Until those ghosts got vile

      Delete
  33. Cute! I've learned that from the work I do for marketers and businesses. Often companies will host a survey and use the results to create reports. They can interview 20 people and skew the questions and make it look like 98% of people believe/do something. Sometimes the numbers aren't even high. 56% of people report they drink coffee in the morning. That's just over half!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, everything is made up so it works in their favor
      From book research to a new drink flavor

      Delete
  34. There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics! Not sure who said that, but it's true!! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True in every way
      We agree at our bay

      Delete
  35. Defective balls
    Not a good thing
    Might want to re-inflate
    At your swing

    Spreadsheets, pie charts and boring graphs
    Sometimes might be good for a laugh
    'Cause I'm laughing right now at Pointy/Pointy-er
    Even though it hurts my Jointy/Jointy-er

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha sorry for the joint ache at your sea
      Hopefully that will flee
      The cat was snip snip
      So no inflation trip

      Delete
  36. Replies
    1. Likes it in the tummy
      Says it is yummy

      Delete
  37. A meaningless graph is always good for a laugh. I like the pointy one. You sure know how to have fun!

    ReplyDelete
  38. haha, this is one of my favorites! and this sounds like my Sundays:

    Balls can bounce,
    Cats can pounce.
    Dogs can chew.
    Look at the pretty view.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm oh where I could go
      With that at my show

      Delete
  39. Running with scissors is not smart... Being a stupid kid and cutting your own hair with them is even less smart.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah that would be quite the look
      There at your nook

      Delete